The evening world. Newspaper, June 24, 1922, Page 12

Theat peserrar rical News an i "Jack Dempsey, says the Roard, Should battle Harry Wills | sous The fight, beyond a doudl, would be aw: The scrappiest of mills. reo Now, we’ A trick that always wins pa tip that Jack might use Sates When white meets black is for the " white oe To kick him in the shins vias! —Southerner, 2... THELMA, THE VAMP. f, . oF Three weeks after Thelma ar- te De rived in New York she suddenly remembered the ham sandwich » her mother had tucked in her end bustle. iter She was dancing the shimmy- np 6 shee-wah-wah at the time, her - partner being Benjamin Hur, the Bape actor. me “Stop! stop!” said she, mean- pas ing to cease dancing. xy? “Stop! stop!” he repeated. * What do you think T am—a church organ?” Countess De Peewee, the hos- tess, rushed up, infuriated. ; “My lan she said, laughing hits heartily. “Ben Hur, you cer- y tainly crack great jokes.” ar As she left to join her husband, wide who was drunk on the piazza, te haw a ‘Thelma said: “How would you like to Ben yw Hur?” t The actor was a big, strong ites man, but he had the brain of a child of 44. Yes, ‘twas true; he weewers — wag of 44-calibre. or “What ho, Thelma!" he said. At took her back in memory to the old farm. Again she saw the hog-wallow, the cow-lot and the chicken coop with its incubators filled with eggs and bugs. In memory old Prince, the mule, kicked her again, and once more she thought of the ham sand- wich. "“Sweet dreams,” she said. At that point an explosion was heard. Count DePeewee had swallowed a seidlitz powder, one color at a time. “My dear guests,” said the, Countess, bowing low, “now we ean change this dance into a wake.” ae Everybody t6ok hold of hands i ta then and danced about the eyed. @orpse. did It was a riot of beauty. ‘oil (To be continued.) mee The Fire-Fighters. ‘We chased the fire engines last night to a blaze in East 84th Street, near Third Avenue, and enjoyed “ thrills we hadn't known for twenty years. The work of the New York Fire Department impressed us deep- ty. Every man seemed to know ex- “att... 2etly what to do and he did it fear- ue >. Jessly. The fire was in a garage and eres the men in the helmets entered the =f _ building without hesitation, despite “a » the fact that gasoline tanks were re- ss» » sported ready to explode inside. When, * «after half an hour's battle, the blaze "=" seemed under control, we moved _pway willing to admit we had never + seen real efficiency in a fire depart- ment. 3% OBSERVATIONS. cr No, , the stage coach Fred Stone met Annie Oakley with wasn’t Fred Latham. A. Conan Doyle has been converted to Prohibition since coming here. anal However, he'll hardly abandon bis spirits. Martin M. of Harlem asks us which is the bigger flirt, the blonde girl or "the brunette. Thanks for the compli- ment, old man. Representative Tinkham says the St Drys bought the Eighteenth Amend- ment. It probably was the only time “ in their lives they ever “bought.” oF Mile, Suzanne Lenglen’s health was Hi v0 reported not so good yesterday. Molla Mallory defeated another of the title ™ -* ~ contenders, thes oe uacpaed DUR AUTO DEPARTMENT. Don’t expect the police to report “around the house for the baby to cut it and fool the cop. “Never kiss a girl ina taxicab. It's 80 easy to acquire a wife that way. Good Evening! By BIDE DUDLEY FOO ITUOI Bowing ———— | POEMS OF PREFERENCE ) ineeetnneniiseeeneeesceeee! Max M. Barkan ts growling about his inability to find the right kind of a girl, Max lives on Rose Street, Brooklyn, but, of course, we won't hold that against him. win the velvet-lined oyster-opener with the following rhyme: He wants to “Would Be Married” is my name, If to you it's just the same, Hunt me up a girl—a modern flap, I've a@million just to spend, Golden love her heart to mend, But she mustn't love another chap. Sparkling eyes must be divine, My affection to enshrine, And her love must be forever true, If a girt like that I find, Tall or small, but just that kind, Wedding belts will chime with oyster stew, i should be applied to an auto until it turns turtle. Unless you knew the corpse, it is decidedly unclubby to go to a funeral in an auto just for the ride, is higher, you know. Gasoline Pay Nutt, He Says. “For Heaven's sake,” writes Con- stant Reader, “why don’t you send Jefferson Shrewsbury Nutt $112 I’m tired of his recurring wails for $11. Don’t you make enough money out of space consumed by his stories to give him such a petty sum? If you don't remit that,$11 to him I'll send it my- self. Or shall I send it to you?” Yes! BY WAY OF DIVERSION. A little rag doll is asleep in its crib, its clothing in sad dis- array. Deep down in a trunk Mother's tucked a wee bib and there it is going to stay. A high- chair’s been sent to the attic above, a go-cart went up with the chair. Each one has com- pleted a labor of love and cob- webs must now be its share. A small toy piano is going next door, a gift to a youngster we know. A dozen wee dresses we're going to store, to look at as years come and go, We've bowed to heart-breaking ruling of Fate, a ruling that hardly seems fair, The little old home is so empty of late and God, but it’s lonesome up there, We Answer Back. We don’t mind being thin, but is there any reason why a fat man should make fun of us for it? To- day we met a fellow named Tom Gill, whose stomach makes it impossible for him to lace his own shoes, He looked us over and remarked: “Say, Dudley, you're so thin I'd bet appendicitis would be merely a skin disease with you.” “Huh!” we replied, “if you had it, the surgeons would probably have to blast.” And Now Permit Us To say that Hammond, Ind., insists on pointing with pride to a policeman whose name is I. Ketchum. d Gossip ; a RLM SET Pe NT i JOE’S CAR ate “t= ‘ “t= -t- j- ats Mike Knows the Car ! i WANTA MAKE SOME Easy MONEY Mike? LISTEN - YOUR CUSTOMERS ASK You WHAT'S A Good CAR “T BUY , EH? THEY THINK «YOU KNOW A Good CAR BECAUSE You'Re A GcoD MECHANIC , Eu? {1 By dIMMINY ~ TAT MAY BE THE, WAY “O SELL IT! PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS ASKING Mike's ADVICE JON WHAT CAR TO BUY — I'LL COOK Lue A DEAL WITH MIKE WELL - YOU SELL MY CAR “WD ONE OF ‘EM FOR 41600 AN! I'LL SLIP YOU “TEN PERCENT ! : AN' IF We LEAVE HER AT HOME WE MAY LOSE HER-AN’ WE. DONT WANT THAT Oe HAcPEN omy! No! BuT WHERE CAN WE LEAVE HER WHERE SHE WILL 8 SAFE 2 I KNow - LeT TH’ BROWNS” TAKE HER ON THEIR” HOUSE “Boat “cavice — SHE CANT swim ! ig SAY DEAR WaT ARE WE GoIN’ TO Do ABOUT OUR COOK" WHILE We ARE ON OUR VACATION t Id Ce mi i : Bvt th oe onacart Wek ay LITTLE MARY MIXUP AW-W-W¢ oy cocom DID NT HAVE ANY sucar IN® ved-H-* “HERE £ How 17's ALL STIRRED OP NICE AND SWeeET SURE THERE WAS SUGAR IN IT — You DIDNT STIR JT OP ~ THATS Ahn RM-BRIAKE CHP WHY ALL THE po MONKEY SHINES ~ OP THE Coco4- I Did DRINK 2 She Has What You’d Call ‘ Domestic Science ’’! WHAT'S THE IDEA ? I GET ONE NICHT A WEEK OFF AND THERE You ARE 7 ) READING A Book I'm STUDYING SCIENCE CHRISTIAN SCIENCE ? NAW ! you're LIKE ALL WOMEN. WHEN \T RAINS, To You IT SusT RAINS! YOU DON'T KNOW WHY: eens I Do! FOR EXAMPLE THERE'S A SIMPLE UTTLE LIGHT. CLOBE. THIS ROOM'S DARK. THAT LI'L GLOBE COULD FLOOD THIS ROOM WITH LIGHT AND IT DONT? MONG those who arrived in New York from Europe yes- terday, were ham and A. H producers, and Charles Dilling- Woods, theatrical each down with new plays. reached his offi nounced that came Joaded Soon after he » Mr, Dillingham an- he planned to do at least twenty productions next season, and the Woods promises were just about as elaborate, Before naming the plays he acquired abroad, Mr, Dillingham sald that R. H, Burnside had accepted the General Management of the Hippodrome and would be su- ‘punctures, The tire always makes] preme at the big playhouse. Prepa- weer ne laneet rations for the next Hippodrome show —— 4 are under way already. Mr. Dilling- Never fail to keep an extra tire} ham signed up several big acts for the Hip, among them being Orlando's ld troupe of sixty trained horses. ime «nis teeth on. Mr. Dillingham while in Paris ap- . If you feel you must use a one-way] pointed Rita Jolivet his agent for street the wrong way, back througn| France. In London he bought two plays, one being John Galsworthy's “Loyalties” and the other a f called “Tons of Money,” by Evans and Valentine, He said daylight sav- ing was hurting the theatrical’ busi- The phrase, “In the soup,” never pes in the British metropolis, In About Plays and Players Paris Mr. Dillingham obtained rights to two musical comedies, “Dodo” and to appear here in the first-named. On a flying trip to Berlin } saw a Kalman anslag Gut" which A. Hi delanger |Laepand idpectutsy (orue egsming |e, coe meee ripe Hs One more week and Eddie Cantor| {i"¢ ani besin her dinner | before ge cata ne. has acquired for America, " “paul and|Jf those who sham would be sincere, |leaves the Winter Garden. Oe atoch ei ot cant reales NSLD” JOR" OR Mr. Dillingham announces that rhe Woman in| If chilled words didn’t feaze, Ruth Topsy Terry has been engaged) jimmy, her brother, who had to ask U Chairman of tho . Fred Stone- will continue another year Seat No. 102,"| 17 those who hiss would only cheer, |»Y A. H. Woods for “*Who's Who?” Committee on Ways an in “Tip Top.” ner will be the Drummond’ Dillingham contracts call for the pr 4 “Morphia."| ‘The things we like to preach, MR een nn ala = cal fell asleep during the church service | duction of Blpye by Jerome Kern,| Only one musical play is listed, It i8| I’m positive that happiness * Randall were in “Sonny,” produced | ?o°\3 54 me night while a revival meeting wail da Johnson Youny, Bugene Walter, ri," by Capt, Harry Graham] would be withi aaah at the Cort Theatre. ‘ ° in progress, Edward Locke, Marie Conway Oem-|and Adolph Linke. Would be within our reach. The minister was doing his best tip ler, Montague Gla ert Goodman, f William Le Baron A PLAY FOR MIOS BINNEY. {nis part while coniing from Los Ane] ) td for prune pie, _|t stand up. The young man doze Mr. Woods broucht home twoscore| “Sue: Dear.” the new musical com- | When Constance Binney returns] seles. EONAR | contautedly in’ fie) oar, 6f manuscripts, most of the plays be- }€4%: Opens July 8 at Long Branch ana | from London in July she will bri A popular applause dancing contest,} But 1 oa eat cake iN Now," sald the preacher, “ple ing from the German. In addition he] comes to a 42d Street theatre on July|the manuscript of a new play by |! Which the contestants select their] Till I’m just one big ache. be seated,” and everybody sat dow! arranged t celebrated Pantheon de la Guerre, the| ford Kirkbride, Bobby O'Neill, Maxine | Divorcement."" | Miss Binney will be prises at merrace Garvan Pens) FA: Myr man who Wag asleep, and by that ti war panorama which has been on ex-] Brown, Maurice Holland, Madaline | starred in it, a Pap ee wert Be nea muealny the minister said: “All who want hibition ‘In Paris for four years. It John Hendricks, Alice Cava- | so to hell, stand up, 36 J 4 ings and Sunday i i 2 is 19,000 feet long and is the work h and Douglas Cosgrove. Joseph and Thursday even! PUT IT IN THE ACT. The young man heard the word ; 3 R ly 20, the d f young ard of fifty-one artists, The French Gov- | Herbert Is staging the book and Jack ARCHANGELSKY SAILS. afternoons until July he date of! wxty girl wouldn't go out in the|stand up” and that was all. He ro ernment will be interested with him in the Amei many,” sail Mr t country in the atrically. and is the deadest. The only Eng- “Ta Bouche." Maurice Chevalier is lish play I have acquired is ‘East of Suez,’ by Maugham.” From France Woods brings “The Child of Love" and “The Wed- ding March,” both by Bataille. He} 4 has contracts calling for the next three plays of Andre Picard and Al- fred Savoir, In Berlin he obtained Joseph Morel, “Although Walter Dillingham Also that H star of when it B. ¥ “Bull-Dog on tour, “Furnished Rooms to Rent,” “The pringboard” and half a dozen otia- Mr. Woods prizes particularly a and Jules Eck- ed de Gresac and THE “SUE, DEAR” CAST. © show in America the]10. In the cast are Olga Steck, Brad- Mason the dances rican presentation Woods, “is 0 world the- France is busy and Eng- MISS CAHILL TO WED. has granted Jimmy Cahill, press agent, has a|Archangelsky, sister named Anna Marie and she she’s my sister,”’ Jimmy over the phone to-day, “she's a very pretty girl.” WINCHELL'S “IF.” Winchell has a nice little rhyme in the Vaudeville News this If those who knock would praise, If most of us would practice all Clemence Dane, author of “A Bill of Morris Gest has received word from Moscow that the Soviet Government permission to Alexei composer of Balieff's to be married Wednesday to John|that he is headed this way. arrives he will become musical ad- viser of the Bat Theatre Company, now on the Century Roof. said GOSSIP. phia next week. own dances, the finals. “Spices of 1922"’ will play Philadel- M. Albano has replaced Joseph Men- delsohn in ‘Blossom Time." Vaughn De Leath and jazz will be in ‘Trifles of Yesterday,”” a Shubert vaudeville unit. Charles Lawrence, engaged by Sam H. Harris for “It's a Boy,” will be held for $100 in A THOUGHT FOR TO-DAY. Mareus Loew says his name isn't * is |“Chauve Souris," to leave Russia and ' “Lowy,” nor is it “Louie, When he LSIE had been graci band a gentle reproof. learned rain last night get her ear-rings wet.” “She didn't?” It is often enough.’—B. D, Just PRESS THE BUTTON AND THERE many times by her mother for eagerness to appease h took upon himself to admin~- r what we are about to receiv FOOLISHMENT. Said Mary Ann Jones, with a sigh: “Good Lord!” said her mother. “My, She didn’t want to No, she said they had been soaked YOURE CRAZYT The Day’s Good Stories GENTLE REPROOF, reprimanded er appe- Means, tells of a young fellow in hi home town of Saginaw, Mich, wh said he said gravely has already eaten, thankful."—Los Angeles Times, nq for what Elsi make us make converts, He asked all the got people who wanted to-go to heave and in doing so somebody bumped tl round, rubbed his eyes, ai I don't believe I ful understand the question, but you ay I seem to be in a hopeless minow@ here.”—National Republican, bi son, PEOPLE ARE SO DUMB THEY THINK AN OCEAN SWELL ISA vie trul