The evening world. Newspaper, December 23, 1921, Page 3

SS See ee 55 as Oe OS ON Be Oe On on GA GTR On 9 We, SG ve Goo we OO GS Oe Oe On wo am oo “Humor must deal with a sub- ject of real popular interest—for example, marriage, doctors, or (in puritan countries) swearwords.” _ “Humor must not be mal- apropos, through dealing with the deepest and most sacred feel- ings of those who share in it.” CRIMES OF CROOKS OUTON BALL ROUSE COURT TO PROTEST Judge McIntyre Urges Need of Bigger Bench to Stop Liberty Abuses. 93D STREET CASE CI Rosalsky Says Every Effort 1s] Made to Hasten Trials of Accused Men. The discovery that so many of the riminaly being arrested in this city or almost daily crimes of violence ar out on bail for pr vious offenses, ha rroused the District Attorney's office snd the Judges of General Sessions to enlization that something must be fone to meet the existing method of ealing not only with persistent of- |= nders, but with all those who afoul of the law. The latest case to « ttention {s that of the bandit killed vy Charles DaWid after the hold-up yesterday in the renting offices of tt Phipps Model Tenements at No, 24 West 63d Street. Police Inspector Coughlin said to-day that the dead man's finger prints corresponded ith those of James Breen, a former holler maker of Buffajo, who had a ong criminal record and was out on bail for stealing an automobile last uly. Breen was sent to Sing Sing n 1919 for two to four years after conviction here of assault and rob- When Judge McIntyre neral sessions was asked for comment (pon existing conditions, the release f cyiminals on bail and the over- crowded criminal calendar in this ounty, he said: “You cannot overcome the consti- stlonal nt granted to every one © be admitted to b: pending trial. hat is but one objection to locking tp those who have committed crimes, The second objection les in the fact that we have not sufficient criminal ourts in this county to try the pend- ng cases, We need at least two more judges, Even then it would be diffi- cult to bring about the desired re- It “There is not a member ef the ju- \iciary in this city who does not wish! square deal to the public for them| window across the street, 4 } i un. impo: 1 to thejr | 74 AND 59 ELOPE; ANOTHER COUPLE, BOTH 87, ARE WED Buds of Romance May Be Seen to Bloom in the Frosts of Age, James W. Boyce, seventy-four, a wealthy resident of Kinder- hook, N. ¥., gloped yesterday with a sweetheart of fifty-nine whom he had loved since child- hood and to whom he had ro- cently been reunited after a sep- aration of many years, Mr. Boyce: met Miss Amelia Beebe at her home in Kingston yesterday and they came to Now York, where they obtained tho license. They wero married at the home of the Rev. William W. J. Hampton, pastor of the Grace Methodist Church in Port Rich- mond, 8. 1. The pair will live for a time with the Rev. Mr. Hampton, who is Mr. Boyce's brother-in-law. Mrs. Harriet E. Lucas of Mere iden, Conn., and George L. Elmer of Providence, both eighty-seven years old, were married in Mer- jden - yesterday by the Rey, Lverett Burnes at the First Methodist Episcopal Church. the case of crooks with or" Judge Otto A. Rosalsky of General Sessions said: “Loh tried for many years to bring about the result desired by all honest, law-abiding citizens, the prompt trial of persons accused of crime. ‘The constitutional aght granted to citizens by both Federal and State Constitution—the right t ril—cannot be vacated. ‘During the past fortnight I have endeavored to overcome the com- plained-of conditions by ordering the immediate trial of all men wita criminal records who are out on bail, their cases pending in my court. ve brought them into court, stud- ed their records, and when the Dis- trict Attorney was not prepared to proceed to trial, I bave increased the bail, making it almost prohibitive fer the safety of the public There is Do doubt that our calen- jars ave in such condition that rellof is necessary, buts there is not a Juc on the bench who °s not working overtime to reduce the calendar Judge Alfred J. Tailey, of General Sessions, said: “I have endeavored time and time again to remedy conditions, It is up to the officers and directors of the great bonding companies to remedy the evil. As I have pointed out repeatedly to them, it is not a “Humor must not be artificial and far-fetched. If a joke Is a aa Te bend labored it's work—it isn’t play.” DOCTOR WHO SHO BOY TAKING A FROM TRE SHEL ‘ Physician Did Not Intend to Wound Youth, His Counsel Says—Victim Recovering Dr. William Zuckerman, twenty. nine, of No. 212 Hast Broadway, who was arrested yesterday on a charge of shooting Samuel Markham, fifteen, of No. 372 Cherry Street, was held to-day by Magistrate Silberman in the Centre Street Police Court in $3,000 ball for examination Jan. 6. Dr. Zuckerman furnished the bail. Dr. Zuckerman, who was a Lieuten- ant in the A. E. F., was arraigned on a short affidavit by Patrolman Shafiir of the Oak Street Station, who said the Markham boy had told him in Gouverneur Hospital that Dr. Zuck- erman shot him. Assistant District Attorney Wilson told the t he wouldn't ask for excessive be- cause a certificate from Dr the hospital stated the boy’ tion was not gerlous, Franis Are counsel for Dr, Zuckerman, declared his client did not intend to shoot the boy, but was “probably careless in handling the pistol,” -45-calibre army automatic, Markham and his chum, Abrahara a Liss, fourteen, of No, 62 Montgomery Street, were on their way to Seward Park with a basketball when they discovered it did not contain enough ain. They were passing Dr, Zucke:- man's home and decided to “swipe” a little air from a spare tire on the rear of an automobile parked at the sidewalk. Markham, it is said, started to tap the valve of the tire while Liss stationed himselt nearby to warn is friend if the owner of iho machine approached. Detectives O'Leary and Gray of the Oak Street Station heard a pistol shot and saw Markham fall to the pave- ment, Zuckerman, they sald, was standing on tho sidewalk with a pis- tol in his hand. ‘They and Shaflitr arrested him, followed by a large crowd. Later at the Oak Street Sta- in tion reserves had to be called upon} to prevent the crowd from taking the physician from the detectives. The bullet, from an automatic pls- tol, passed around the boy’s head un- der the scalp, and broke a plate glass Ho was it were possible that indicted persons | to bail out well-known criminals and| taken to Gouverneur Hospital, where might be tried and their cases dis-|thus permit the later to pursue thelr posed of in a week. But you cannot eprive a man of the right to bail xcept in the case of first degree mur- der, and even then ball discretion- ary with the court. here will be no need of electing Judges for this court if we may draft Supreme Court Judges from other parts of the State to sit here and help reduce the large calendar courts, “So long as there are criminals they will make for New York, and we our have to expect them, owing to the | wealth and importance of our ci “Under our present form of juris- prudence criminals on arrest produce bonds signed by surety companies. Under the law such a bondsman must De accepted by the court. In the old ‘lays, when taxpayers went on bonds, he District Attorney had the right to defer for forty-cight hours accept- unce of the bond thus offered, But vhat hag been all wiped out. “Nowadays a man can commit a crime at 9 o'clock in the morning, be| arraigned in a police court at 10, plead not guilty, have bail fixed, provide it and be out on the street by 11 o'clock free to pursue his natural calling, “Tho Legisiature should make this nefarious business. the officials of several of these com- panies are seeking now to find a solu- tion of the problem.” Acting District Attorney Joab H. Banton, who is also District #ttorney- elect, said: “Tho condition of .the criminal courts calendar ig such as to maxe any man worried. I intend to tase the matter up with the Judges of the Court of General Sessions and deter- mine what relief can. be obtained. We need two more Courts of General sions, ‘That is the only way in which 1 believe relief can be obtained.” John Litile, the man who drove the taxicab in the 68d Street hold-up and who was shot, Was arraigned in West Side Court to-day and held without bail on a charge of robbery by Magis- trate Douras because of the criminal record which the police presented against him. He will have a hearing on Dee. 27. ———E AWARDED 8$9,000-AWNING FELL. A jury before Justice Tompkins in| the White Plains Supreme Court to-day returned « verdict of $9,000 for Jeffer- son Kessler of Yonkers against the City of Yonkers. He-was injured when an} awning, weighted by snow, fell upon) him last winter, He claimed that the city should have prevented the awnin from fering, into auch condition. elthough dt was owned iy an individual, I understand that i |Mercurius notified it was said he will recover, Dr, Zuckerman, according to the police, sald in one story be had shot only to frighten the boys, but in a later story admitted he had fired « shot’ as the boys were running away, after Markham had made a motion as if to draw a weapon from his pocket. Mrs. Zuckérman sald her husband ordered the boy to get away from the car and fired “when the boy renched toward his hip pocket,” Dr, Zuckerman obtained tho pistol during his army service and had a permit to use it, —————— + FOUR BANDITS GET $195 IN FRUIT STORE HOLD-UP Draw Pist About te C! om Owmer as He Is eo Up. Gustave Mercurlus was preparing to close his fruit store at No. 338 Flatbush Avenue, Brooklyn, at 1 A, M. to-day when four men about twenty-five, weare ing caps, appeared with drawn revolvers and ordered him to throw up his hands, He obeyed, and while three kept him covered the fourth went to tae cash reg- tater und took $195. With a warning against making a nolse until they had timo to get away, they disappeared, the police and a gearoh was made, but the bandits had left no clue Evening World Ten-Second Movie of Bi “Humor must flash, It canrot be explained. There are no crutches that will carry a lame Joke.” “Don't spoil a joke in the tell- ing. A practical joke must be ‘sprung,’ whereas you must leud up to a poetic joke.” “The pper’ of a practical Joke must be a real surprise, The point must not be stale, obvious, or given away.” g People in Action eee fd ST was oe “A joke must not be mero RE ES flippancy—the product of a light nat, whose thoughts have no mo- “A joke must not be’ flat—a Job lot of triviallty, without the strength to ‘get across,’ stag see sie ween Max Eastman Gives 8 Rules For Funny Fellows to Follow As They Spring Their Jokes He Asserts, Depew to the Contrary Notwith- standing, That the American Sense of HumorIs Keener To-Day Than in the “Good Old Days.” Marguerite Mooers Marshall. “Tho sense of humor,” said Max Eastman, tilting back comfortably from his well worn desk In the edi- torial office of the Liberator, “is like the sixth sense, and does almost as much as any one of the others to make Hfe livable for ourselves and others, The sense of humor is as truly an instinct, a thing born in the individual, as pugnacity or acquisi- tivencss; only humor is the instinct for making tho best of a bad thing. in three words, humor may be de- scribed as inward shock-ab- sorber.” Editor, poct, essayist and leader of liberal thought in this country, Mr. Eastman has yet found t!me to write an original and intelligent book on “he Sense of Humor,” which has just been published. He compiled it in the face of Bernard Shaw's warn- ing that “there {s no more dangerous literary symptom than a temptation to write about wit and humor—it in- dicates the total loss of both.” Bu probably Shaw didn't know that Mr, Eastman was once lured to make & political speech with the promise of "§2 for every minute you make ‘em laugh”—and that he e: than ninety good do! rious occasion! an So T decided that this tall, slender | young man, with the thatch of/ prematurely white hair that ts 60 startling a contrast to the brown eyes in which a gleam of his laughter always appears before he puts bac his head and roars, would be an ex- cellent person to reply to Chauncey Depew's indictment of modern hu- mor recently published in The E ning World. Mr. Depew sald in ef- fect that humor is in bad way, that there are no’ new jokes—only old ones retold—that modern life is too serious an affair to joke about. ‘To which Mr, Eastman replies: “Modern American humor Is perior to the humor of our past. humorists to-day are more subtle, | more sophisticated. Their wit plays over a greater variety of subjec than in the days when cheeso or mothers-in-law formed the basis of most jokes, The quality of modern wit is more finished. Artemas Ward was funny, but I think Heywood Broun and Ed Wynne are funnie Mr. Depew himeelf js a delightful 1 lustration of the fact that thero Is nothing wrong with modern humor. I heard him make a most charming specch the other night at the Wells dinner. He thinks that the jokes of yesterday are funnier than the jokes of to-day for the same reason that T wonder why we hever have such wonderful snowstorms as wo had when I was a child. Everything to we look back always looks sue “As for rnodern life being too serious for jokes, its seriousness is the very reason why we instinctively demand the relief of humor. They told Charlie Chaplin that he couldn't make the war funny. He satd, 'T can make anything funny, and produced what I consider his masterpiece, noulder Arms.’ Nothing could he tragically serious than the and yet it produced Batrns- nd a whole new school of “But don't you agree with Mr. Depew,” I suggested, s to the dele- terious effect which Prohibition has jhad on jokes?” | “Indeed, I think he's right thero,” jquickly conceded Mr. Eastman, “The effect of alcoliol is always to para- lyze the inhibitions, the graver and sterner inatincts, while releasing the [instinct of play.’ And champagne not merely helped in the making of Jokes but in their reception, You can’t toll a joke In a vacuum; there must be a | cgollea ts divisions into, which, as Mr, Hast- man sees it, \all humor fails—tho practical joke and the poetic Joke. By practical humor he doesn't znean pulling the chair out from under your neighbor or somo similar form of crude bedevitment, , “Practical humor,” the Joke, pure and simple; the witt! cism, the sheer absurdity, Poetic humor is a state of mind—tho lejs- urely creation of an atmosphere of droliery, Mark Twain was a perfect exampie of the poetic humorist. “An example of practical wit is the retort of Charles Sumner to a min- {ster who asked him impertinently why ho did not go into the South with his anti-slavery speeches where ery exists, Suniner’s reply was: e tryin to save souls from ren't you? Why don't you go Eastman’s ex- ul humor are the un- n by two children on their examination papers. There the sriall boy who defined a mpial" n animal who has a pouch In the middie of his stomach into which hy can retire when he is hard pressed.” Ard there was the smali girl—over whom Mr, Eastman and 1 frankiy toared—who wrote: “Saturnalia wa the name of tha’ wolf that suckled Fomeo and Julitt.” ur laughter at poet the student of humor continued, aroused by that perfect para- graph from Mark Twain's ‘Double Furrelled Detective Story,’ in which every word is a slyly malapropos de- scription of a scene of natural beauty, and which end: rin the empty sky a solitary qsophagus slept upon mo- tionless wings.” Another bit of poctic humor {s to be found in the story of t'e man who was compelled to ride to hir wife's funeral in the same carriage with his mother-in-law. All protests end evasions having ultimately failed, Fe leaned over the wheel and growled | at the funeral direcior: ‘Well, you've day for ine, that's allt’ All jokesmjths w vell tu study tne eight laws in tle code drawn for their special penefit by Mr. L man. This is tho first: 1, Humor must deal with a subject cf real popular interest—for example, marriage, doctors, or (in Puritan coun- tries) swearwords, *y had a collego professor,” Mr. Eastman recalled, “who was always making the most sidesplitting jokes atcut Greek roots, We laughed, of course—always laugh at the profes tor's jokes, 1f you want good marks— tut we really couldn't see tho least thing funny about them.” 2. Humor must not be malapropos, through dealing with the deepest and most sacred feclings of those asled to share in it. “You can't be expected to laugh at the death of your mother,” Mr, East- man pointed out, “and, if you have a real, unafraid reverence for the phyal- eal side of love, you dislike the snig- g-ring or the obscene vex jok 3. Humor must not be artificial and for-fetched. “If a joke 1s labored,” the author of “she Sense of Humor" pointed out, ‘it's work—it isn't play, and real hu- mor 1s @ triumph of tho play sen al 4. Humor must flash. It cannot be explained. There are no crutchet that will carry @ lame joh "Consider the difficulty,” observed Mr. Eastman, explaining to an Englishman, unfamiliar with tho sac+ ramental dialects of our great Ameri- can devotions, baseball and Christiag Science, the humorous flavor of that lwadUne reporting the death of Mary Boker Eddy: ‘She stole homo on an error.’ And asa true example of quics a tion humor, the perfect meaning cr receiver as well a8 4 sender. Humor must flow in a warm, magnetic cur- rent between two or more persons. As I've said in my book, ‘A sinile is the path along which two sely Pp proach, and not to smile is to decla off the meeting explicitly,’ Theg we spoke of the two great tallized in the perfect ra. rs “x Jew * y tin the off y Choa Ald to fur $560. When Choate quietly picked p and added another cipher to the nt, fe defined, ‘is! the Jow romarke® ‘Almost the station when thou persuadest Christian.’ ” mo to become & 5. Don't apoil a joke in the telling. A practical joke must be “sprung,” whereas you must lead up to a poetic joke. “For example,” Mr. Eastman pointed out, “the following practical joke muy he told in two sentences; “A lecture rmenager in California once,telegraphed to Artemus Ward axking him what he would take for forty nights on the Pucific Coast. He telegraphed back; ‘Hrandy and water.’ 6, The “snapper” of a practical joke must be a real surprise. The point must not be stale, obvious, or given away. “A joke, In order to be a joke, must he » new one, And that is what makes family life so trying,” Mr, Hastman bas pointed out, feelingly, in “The Sense of Humor, He elaborates: “It-was the custom of the previous generation, and will be, 1 suppose, of all previous genera- tions, to lay in a stock of ‘good stories’ in eariy youth and bing them forth upon féstive occas-ons, reserving the earlier vintages for the more signal festivities and the more celebrated guests that might be 4in- vited into the family circle, It was a turther custom to bring forth these archaeological wonders with a cer- tain pomp and clreumstance, calling the poard to attention, or nt lcast walting for a lapse of tho conyersa~ ton in which it might bé possible to srab its attention and make formal announcement that a joke was about to be brought on. “Having thus destroyed the atmos- phere of spontaneous Ufe in which the poor thing might have enjoyed a momentary resuscitation, and naving oroughly diluted the general ex pectancy by these formal prepara- tions for Its disappointment, the master of ceremonies would procee a hush more appropriate to the o iering of a word of prayer, to lay out the familiar specifications, draw up the plans, prepare and gradually but with resolute purpose and fidelity produce the venerable wonder before , the eyes of all. incongru- | burst of exaggerated laughter woul: follow, and every one tely eek about among the wreckage of the previous conversa- tion for some good line upon which to get away from the scene of the disaster. But no! ‘The ceremony was not finished. Before thin all too perfect burst of hilarity should sub: side, there was to be at least one if “A great not indeed two or three or perhaps | four repetitions of the very quintes- sential point of the thing, so that no mind could escape it or fail to uc- Imowledge {19 wonderful spice and durability “That was a model of the proper ay not to appeal to the sense of hu- mor.” add, is oue of t vhy girls—and the rest of u :. But, to return to Mr. Eight Commandments of And that, Lt mig! ughter: 1, Arjoke must not be flat—a job lot of triviality, without the strength to “get across.” 5. A joke must not be mere Mip- parcy—the product of “a light nut whose thoughts have no momentum,” © tables of the own by a mod- And there you have law of humor, as laid 1 Moses of mirth. “One more question,” I sald, “Asan expert on the sense of humor, will you tell me why doubting its existence tn ony given individual ia the deadliest of iprults? He'd rather you'd call him a blackleg or 4 Bolshevik!” Mr. Eastman smiled. Then he lifted Is long arms, clasped both hands be- side behind his head, and considered. “1 never thought of that before,” he said finally, “But I believe the reason 1s another support for my own theory cf humor as a@ natural instinct. To b> charged with not having it produces the same reaction of anger felt when one is accused of any natural inferi- ority. None of us wants to be sub- normal, and a sense of humor {s {ne born in the normal man or woman.” plana BAKER SLIPS OR LEAPS UNDER AN “L” TRAIN Long Idle, He Was on Way to New Job Te-Day, Christian Schaile, a German baker, address unknown, was killed to-day when he slipped or jumped from the southbound platform of the Second Ay nue "L" station at First Avenue and Firat Street and was run over by a train in charge of William Shalleym or Mount Vernon. Erhardt, No, 182 East Third et, « baker, who identified the dead aid Schatle, who had been out of for somo time, had Juat which required him to” reper this morning. for here w AnY persons waiting at the accident ocourred. in the cab, seeing Valques was left behind. triea to kill him on the theory that dead men tell no tales. He {s certain none of his bullets went in the direction of Valques ROBBERS IN FLIGHT SHOOT LOOKOUT 10 CONCEAL IDENTITY a ee Policeman Exchanges Shots With Band, but Denies He * Hit-Prisoner, Ladies’ New Modet Wrist Watches 14-Kt, Soup GOLD White or Green. S$ The New Qval and Octagon Models Actual Patrolman James H. MeWiliiams of Value $25 the La Salle Street Station saw a taxicab moving back and forth be- tween 140th Street and 144th Street at 6 o'clock this_morning. It finally stopped in front of a dress shop at No, $465 Broadway, which is a half block beyond the post of McWilliams. The driver kept the engine running and, while one man remained outside two men went Into the store and ! dashed out again with their arms full of bolts of silk. Tho whistle of the man outside had warned them of Mc- Williams's approach. | Ho called to them to stop, fired a ‘ i shot and was answered by three from i | the cab. Mowillta s then emptied |] Jeweled, Adjusted, R gulated. q i [ite nit some oni insides || Never before in the itary of the , In tho hurry the driver started be- | Watch business has s value Bo thie | fore the lookout could get inside, | Oee® Possible, and as the oumber ie | McWilllams chased him and after |] Hmited we advise you to call carly, i‘ fight knocked iim out with his club, |] POSITIVELY NO DEALERS SUPPLIED, ; This man also had @ wound from a WALTER i ‘ ‘spent bul'ct in his leg: He was iden. e | , tifled as Leonte Valquez, twenty- Wateh_ Importers 4 ’ | three, of No. 66 West 142d Street, who 182 BROADWAY, N. Y. erved two ter al has sory 4 two terms in Elmira for 177 BROADWAY, N. Y. 7 i |” MeWiillams thinks ono of the men [2 Sterets Open Kveninas. Eat.