The evening world. Newspaper, May 21, 1921, Page 13

ors + renin nanan: i fs nein — at THE EVENING WORLD, SATURDAY, MAY 21, 1920.3. — nme iw tate More Adventures 04 cxs Dad Bo Pee yan oa HONEY MOON HINTS ° NEAL R. OHARA °¢ There Is Something About a Newly-Wed That Time Alone » Can Wear Away—It’s Like the Squeak of New Shoes 4 -or the Paint on a New-Born Fliveer. } Coprriaht, Let, by The Press Publishing Co, (The New York Brening World). ae ‘ posed low oie, : UNE is coming next month on all the best informed calendars, With Jac kie¢€ 7 rms eis ‘etllng ce, By Maurice Kette | {t comes the June Bride—and for every bride there is a bridegroom, “ Cogan, - - ee ———— = except in New Jersey. The window dressers show the bride all she Sor in film ¥ersion‘ ; needs for the Main Event, bat nobody tips off the bridegroom. We there By Courtesyof Stanton&VanViiet Co. fore pluck this opportunity to slip him the red-hot and timely advion. Coprrights by Joseph B. Bowler, | 1905, A ” We aren't t ublish “What leer Wana ae the Bridegroom Neots” ‘Were gp ‘el! the world what Qe aay safe The Bad Boy’s Joke with a Stuffed Rattlesnake ing to give him what he wants—and ‘"*? aa be re ee ee 111 old sroccryman was sitting Rome, dad and T went in a restaurant that’s the dope on “How Not to Look INA ® nan Bal prove that Re on the counter, with his legs t @éet some oysters, and you know Like You're on Your Honeymoon.” . rie th ters there are the biggest in st stretched lengthwise, his heels the Wend. When. we pad there dad There is a time in the affairs of all To aid the bashful bridegrooms in ing on a suck of flour and bis was hungry and the thought of raw men when they'd rather look like their hour of need, we have torn oft k against a pile. of wrapping oysters on the hale shell made him @ set of trick rules that can deceive muper, his eyes closed is morbi le a blue point appetite Mite anit the eats his pipe GM and ordered four dozen on the halt the decollete of naked eye, Thow sj a cnt jes sifting from ic oO shell, for himself, and one dozen for sands will bless us for this errand he cat that was asleep in his lap, me. ’Well, you would have dropped fe was waiting for ustomer te dead in your tracks if you had been oe aren Yes, thousands! Count é ne in and bay something to start we Bye) Walters, Drousny on tie “AK i> ben Leh at edi bi ha five dozen oysters, and each oyster other guests will never know you're day's busin Ie had sprinkled was as big as a ple plate. Six doten i : be floor and swept the dirt up in a Oysters would cover this floor from nll 1) & newiy-bitohed as you register st and (he was af There ‘he door, to the ice box. Dad almost the hotel. The house detective may aah ‘ ® fainted when he saw them, but his ) even suspect you are a confirmed =~ hie y front door, & pride was at stake, and he made up ty will arrel_ of uxe handles and garden his mind if he didn’t eat them all the bigamist, so completely will our sy BH vols had heen od over on the Watters would think ho was a tender. 4, tem baffle bim. i + pireer erage aati Atha foot, und so he started in. ‘The firat Idewalk, the door opened with a Jetk oyster was ae Dig as a caif'a ‘iver snd closed with a slam, and the bad and nobody but a sword swallower ‘These are the by-laws, approved and tested, for looking like a bard- boiled benedict that's been in hot water for four or five years: Kick at the price of your reom when the hotel clerk tells you what it is. That's a sure sign you're ne : newlywed, 4 Don't ask the floor clerk for “our” B key. 4 Don't hang on to her arm as you stroll along. 4 Don't hang on to her arm as you cross the street, Give Me a Room on the Front. Don't EVER hang on to her arm exeept to prevent ber from running home to mother. This rule is infal- pickpockets than freshly-weds. That's when they're on the honeymoon, D TTT lible. ‘There is something about a newly "t buy flocks of venir post wed that time alone can wear away. ee Buy” Abeks/ of pany ene j cards, It's Itke the squeak of new shoes or the paint on the new-born flivver. Eat your meals as if there were 4 ‘Time will wear that away, reader. no tablecloth to conceal what you de Like a leopard, the boneymooner is With your bands. r spot'ed from the start, Rice doesn't Let your wife carry her own suit- have to drop from his coat collar to case. Always, if gossible. I a A Bachelor’s Notebook. rn You come to New York to look at the sights. Well, then, look at 'em once in a while Get up for breakfast every morao- “EACH OYSTER WAS AS BIG AS A PIE PLATE.” ,boy came in with a long paper box, could ever nave gotten away with it. i ted with holes, slamme mm He said, ‘Hennery, I don’t like oys‘ors Moy 1. ing. nF . -_. like I ed to," id it seems to a y tk oT a vac! ors’ the counter besidy the groceryman’s H1Ke f used to, and it seems to m BS AW Jack vac at anes eee = Glance at other women guests and = - { lems, and yelled lite, but if, as you say, we are m a ‘ ae Acces the, a ¢ Maybe wink at them. ake up, Ri Winkle country where a man’s life is held so talked ove! e pyect of day of judgment com heaply, by the great horngspoon 1 whether a man could get married Do not consult with your bride be- } re still buried, You get a move on the Lord have money on me Tang and still live happily together for the fore buying cigurettes, chewing gum, you or the processton will go off and him that was about the size of you. Say, are you afraid of and he would cat or die, and may 1 " . he would die anywa attlesnakes?" and the bad boy sheok 7 epihasek (The End.) —_—_—. THE JARR remainder of his life t¢ it happened to or cough dréps. bea long réthdinder, and we both de-"" ey tg call her by her first ‘name ' cided it could not be done, Jack bad | ea of Honey, Honey dear, Dear- | t { 7 ‘ the paper box, when an enormous came from within, as though 1 snakehad shaken its tail good and pier nee ed tw neither of ” divoreed and atill living. So Jack is 4nd pauscam qualified to-argue the subject. He Don't always be looking at your said he knew any number of married wedding ring. at Seo t, bey, T believe you ave got a rattlesnake in that box men to-day who were going to t2© pont over look at your wedding ' «nd be jumped off the counter and ~ “club four times a woek for dinner, yy rabbed an iren tire peker, while the stealing away to bull games, theatres, PAMILYV Yards of Ribbon, Much Time, fo ~~ ‘ ilar Garden, Impresario, ind so forth, Jack said, however, he Don't wear a wedding ring if you ; er sori mcascett. |“ pitince stit—ae. | “Divorces Are Increasing’ c= | ‘sais Today to Spend "sc es sateroe oom tir . Bureau Khe a et Keane fr sult, This Hat Except In New York St te Mrs. Jarr. “I thought it boy got out his knife to cut the string on the box, ow, lookahere, 1 am uffering from nervous prostration, nd a snake turned loose in this store would got a litth: ol¢ snd more set- When you buy your Pullman seats tied, Hut it was an expensive prope- nome, don't ask if they're vear te- these hard times, And Sommer in Monte Carlo’ wee ai ike advantaged of minarisd Seen, Okistine, married jean Aas a = ite it with me “Well, wouldn't th aid the bad be skin you,” y, as he sharpened ~-and they don't care. \ life with none of the disadvantages, y \ his knife on a piece of old cheese aud a ‘cc HE low standard of sexual ing to these statistics, in the follow ~ for hia housekeeper was alwaya on If you survive these rules, send It the edge was for me'and 1 opened: tt morality in Roman society ink States: filinols,” ‘Texas, Ohio . ie job when he Wanted her, and for our successful sequel entitled, y, let up until I wait on these “You didn't look very closely,” Missouri, Indiana, California, Michi we seem to be fast ap- h 7 . ce © can and Peansytvania aching here in America,” Bishop ~ In 1916 there were in Iinois 8,545 ss of Long Island has just dé- divorces; in Texas, 8,504 diver in ed. “Divo! is all around us, Ohio, 7, divore in’ Missouri, Our newspapers tell the sickening #1 divorces:, In Tadjang q vorces; in California, 5,573 divorces; story so far ag society is concerned, in Michigan, divorces; in Penn: customers,” said the old man, as he pled Mr. Jarr. “It wasn't e' went to the door and let in a com- dressed mittee of women who were to buy some supplies for hurch soc: here clue when he wanted her “How to Have a Good Time, Al- and as for entertainment— though You Are Living With Your were Helen, Dorothy, Joun, Wife ‘ 4 Ja, and others, who always Uked a show, di or something else in the en i ‘Mr’ so you could say you thought tt was ‘Mrs.’ "" 80 “Do you mean to insinuate that T The women lined up on each would do such a thing as to read your the store, looking at the letters?” asked Mrs, Jarr, things on the shelves, and the old «did not read it all: 1 se, or maybe a dinner, p of ¢ after she had brenkfast all ready, and I didn't know what she was doing all w omy * man Was trying to be polite, when the mistake as soon as I read ‘Dear Sir but the divorce mills are for afl, and, Sylvania, 4,980 divorces rertainmeni. And he was happy for the time, she came in to. announce bad boy opened the box and laid on said Mrs. Jarr. “And, anyway unlike the mills of the gods, they do The number of divorces per 100,000 deeeenew che had tried both, Stil}, {at it was ready and 1 had just gone the floor a stuffed rattlesnake that wasn't anything of tmpor Was as natural as Ifo, and touched — “How do you know it wasn't ofany 1 rattle box in his pocket, and the importance?” asked Mr. Jarr. “What trouble began. ‘The women saw the co you suspect? Who du you think snake curled up, ready to spring, and is writing to me?” ance. Rot erind slowly of population was 112 in 1916, as against 1008 and 72 in 1909, and Statistics gathered by the Uniied ge 4yr tang, 208 and Ft Im 1900, and States Census Bureau bear out the — In the City of San Francisco, dur Bishop's contention as to the in- ing 1916, there Nay, te bed. So L got up, for I could tell Jack ts a little hard to get along With jy the way she acted that she wan anyway, and he never realizes when cither surprised or angry—mostl, there is an argument in progrese; and he ter, Stith T got right up anc ' was so sleepy I knocked the glass 0: 981 marrias: the reason why all women are stub- ‘ Ee SaRhi ane ayeg Nena 6 ay 7 ree propartio e water over trying to get hold of the Ray ail sat SMMEURN ThA Cnor AE seu Meena be me tanec aud creasing speed of the divorce mills, M4 LATE divorces-—a proportion u born is that tere 1s usually a man fandie of my coffee cup, so the aun = once, tipping ery 3, Jar. 8 ything r ost one divorce to every four i ». didn't # 0 My houss| was loose, ind screaming: portance at all, and, if it was, T don’t In 1916, the latest year for which marriages prevent to make the savertion be. dhint shine for trina into eae spines ‘Arrest that boy with the snake," sea why I shouldn't be in your con authoritative figures are available, In the City of Los Angeles, during cause he won't give in to bis stubs | ee Ie gethine gay said the groceryman fidence; and I notice the writer asks before the morning was over, almost bornness, Wut then it in all too cum- us happy Ad] was the night before plicated to me, and so T guess i'll re- she is protmbly going to ask me fo if inother raise at the cnd of the month, PBA LBS for she alwayw acta unnaturally when she is anticipating it. there were in this country 1,040,773 the same vear. there were 6.910 mar marriages and 113,083 divorces—- [/a5e" and 1.819 divarcess-a propor “Come out of that wid your me- you to come out to his house and nagert: aid the policeman, shaking hever says a word about your wife!" nis club. * “It's just a man | met who wants “Come in and get the snake if you me to buy pone in besepeei he want it” said tbe bo: don't want doesn’t even know I'm married,” re- Sat a ne oy eye “woo plied Mri Jarr. “And Tow do you Loop after loop of black-edaed he stuffed snake up b making the percentage practically five marr divorce for every nine mar- | In Chic for 34 a while at least ng Cook County iod, there were esand 4 divorce same marr May 19 decade earlier, the: ihe inv! ‘ 7 Dut to the country club to-day and the head and know he invited me if you didn’t read almost one divorce to every elht c tid it across his lap, and began to etter?” — white ribbon decorates this turban of marriages and marriages is played gol! all afternoon, but suc Do ike the rattles, and laugh at the 7 Hidn't help seeing tha i» @ream satin, the product of a lead- ces, Making the percentage o he veoord ino tur | startling (eeded in ¢ spruining my ankle roceryman and ‘policeman and the . ’Arent you . divorce to something over every ten the cities of th Wor 191 while searching for the ball. It alse a. Tow that had ebiccted ta front of aA MATT ant bo afr re. i Parisian milliner, Two long inatviages . ws ma, eon and auouros Id 8598 ma ruined, ead when 1 got home J was —KNOw. | i the store, policema ne n yere were 3 ia r os and 0 divorces mo: f Me ee cid tproceryman Marked Mrs Jarr, “Any ictters you black velvet streamers add a touch ria ORIFEURIET AORGER AUTEN Ceo ea ee Chri ate for dinner by ® Rood hour; my rah tne Prem Publishing CO, t 1 tof th how window, and wouldn't want me to see gome to your less than one divorce He} 9 re Leda onmekee was angry enough to Tue New York Wrong World) rawied our! Ad finatly office; T know that.” of piquancy to the neat little head- ' " bi hate bd Cte i : N breathe fr n iets Analy “T do not get any letters I'm afratd 1 st teen marriages. 995 dive: a New York, ict leave vr she had counted on goin QUESTIONS. io policema ent and drov b otate Jaa ear, dNvoree ost popular, accord- marriages and only 740 divorce 5 - : ho Hieeman went a Oe og any one aeelng,” id Mr, Jarr. 9! x. a i moat ipepular: wee rd- om arriages und only 730 d 8. out tor the ev x. However, It was 1, What eather name is given to that Do you know, I kind of like you.” wren tide see one by i very J at thal=probabiy would pare of the skull which encases the a the old grogerymann, be sent Jane inquired q ® never have eve sot ie the elub if 1 prain? re caPtht ier etttal tee ay ove Short to Be Long; Long Short, Through Animal G1 mete Soe eae, Reman hain et I should just choke you to dea su are not afraid + ¢ sania 3. at 1 ilesia? ou ure Worse than a mad ¢ ad gee any letters you br ~ ® jurt took pity on it and got ine the Of what material is sileaia vive just ruining my business, know, parked Mrs By Fay Stevenson. ut n lect the serious dl " Y vest dinner yet; hot water and mus 4. Who discovered the law of gravi- Oe on dust fen esends how about those you get at the of- gui. UAL, by the Prous Publishing ( (The New York breninz Worid) a qecyn ugenis: Lrefer ti tard for my fuot, and prepared Fido tation? o take y my Kk," sad Hee and destroy PF ft ft e ‘ Mis y witic " ‘ se t 0 take 3 ai af my Nec gan 108 ANE BORON nay sala 66 MBNCH und the medical s nAVE W grONL future in the uae ofthe Tit som land count A thy ati cp extra dish of good worana, And 6, What le the outer entrance 40 Fe hese CaN t ae es ghinds of anitnals, “These pir ments made with extracts people “Ineiined I uh boss of my fem, whom | Was San Francisco Bay called? nd you have not b m i You de aid M Jarr, warinly laken ‘om tie glands of cows, Boats and monkeys w anes no time won Ls laying with, said he was golng te il durin loose a couple makes + ¢ound a lett omen one oe of the greatest boons of the human race ible to make a race ¢ Playing with sald he Wis RINE \e 6: What was the name of President we inam Ket, and some tar. member his name t now: it had Serge Voreuolf's wor ful = on ary ti tt ; it 1 va i me OA canis wite o1rteld's assacsin? 1s, and you W rbably be failen out of your pocket on the exp and in of rejuvena who were the sizo of ¢ “4 that vt repiie Mh BME I) 4 ae Wh, i n and swell up like a polsoaed goor it was out bluckballing tion of men by eee splan ne inte months’ old jes six mo: Robinson, 4 quickly added “in would De more than angry, and that 2 ; at name s aive to the sys and die under the counter.” somebody who was trying to get in thelr bodies the interstitial glands of but have own ten inch time.” was the Word to deseribe ler temper, ( of raised printed characters de r PL yaw yous father on. the lodge and it was marked ‘De- monkeys, Dr, J, R. Brinkley's gout Dr, Goddard's cow gland diet. "What the v mans to Kreisior, ored inyway’ " hin Wet clothes, vised for blind readers? 1 yesterda. and he is yt Lida Bland oper ms in Milford, hun. The food which st ed ch the brush t Sargent, th plano to w “ 1 fe J oat the Ss What f. . efatic \ nach de tavdow! aa. E You're always looking for trouble. and now Dr, HTL Goddard, of the dren took was in tablet form made Vaderewski, the xlind moans he of starve lub, and § and {'m giud tm © Wheat famous Asiatic city Is ‘ was, and 0 Vil find it somo day,” said Mr, Bureau of Jivenile Research of trom thyroid) glands ef cattle and body," te explatr Without the “Hip hale vhever wants any situated an an wland at the southern ds What has got into him’ dare um®us, ©. who hax supervised lunbs and muyt be continued diily, secretions which they give forth we thy huw clothes or needs them, anyway. point of tne Malay Peninsula? bee Weil, Tt tell you: dad has got 1 don't need to look for it; I have Pheaomenal — development of according to Dr. Goddard, Who ex- shrink, wrinkle and age prematut And when Taet him hts now spring _ , x chal they eall a inorbid appetite, plenty of trouble,” said Mrs, Jarre, KFowth of two stunted children plained that the Wilt Growth becomes stunted if ¢¢ of tt collar and chain every yeur tie ale | %& What is the annyal salary of a the Whatever you do, old skate, don't with a sigh. upon cow glands int our just the and shrivel unte our glands de vol function sufficiently does 4 most encircles the whute cily in hin United States Congreseman te ou ever get a morbid appetite,” yt, rephed Mr. Jarr beginning of our dependence upon supplied regularly, and, on the other hand, where they that mac nt of happiness t strange 10, What is the State flower AVhaL in ae MbOnDId Appetite ” asked what are you making such a our dumb triends for health, hap! “Ot course We st in the early function in exccan of the normal Y und quiet Ways of showing his ap- 4). 0 jer of he old man as he peeled 4 banana fuss about a letter from a real es- Ness and spiritual as well as phys stages, the very ploneer stage of using amount, growth becomes heroic an@ wears out ty preciation. oi und began to cat it tate agent for a these animal glands,” said Dr, Hobt have the modern giant of sevel p tre and its f wees i ANSWERS. sientista sty a tnorbid appetite ts Then she burst into tears, and it That is what Dr, Frederic HT aon, “but by being conservative, or over, the drawing card exh 1 with t iment May 20. 1, cranium; 2, Livy; 8, linen: 4, Str tdon't know when it has got took two hours of coaxing and a pair ison, editor of the Medical R not using | ange doses und over of circuses ands hows , huret out thelr Sun shining this morning, but not tsaac Newton; § Golden Gate: 6, Da good th but of theatre Uickets to convince ber that Of Reviews and authority on medical mulati tt ystem we shall In addition te v wal growth we N wn 0M pe this for me. 1 stayed out so late last |, a 1, braille id j nis all there is on t wasn't ledding a double life suine topics, said when sneaking of the re- wonderful things in tho scientile which ‘ tur Inadequate landula im (ie untmala we night that my housekeeper’got up to Charles Guiteau; 7, braille; §, Singas Naw, al New Orleans, before ¥ ay, sumeliow, somewhere, copl cue of two widters, Lon and nine world’ f urking of Uke glands, theve 18 a more bave solved many medical problems.” get byakfast when I came, And then pore; 9 $7,800; 10, violet | Wyo i my y « . ‘ “ on - a ae Jane »