The evening world. Newspaper, April 12, 1920, Page 15

MONDAY, APRIL 12, 1920 ‘What, Ho!. You Limerickers! Here’s First Inside Dope On Your Next President You Rhyme Hounds—Plentiful as Pork Chops Are | Scarce—Coming Into Your Own. | By Jefferson Shrewsbury Nutt. | (Campaign Manager for B. Dudley, the Limerick Presidential Candidate.) the Public: Have you ever stopped long enough in your scramble to | Pay your income tax to think what a tremendous force rhyme is in| the world? Neither had I until just a few weeks ago, but now I am Prepared to say that rhyme is the fundamental principle of all good government. It makes men dippy—or, rather, happy—just how £ cannot say, but the fact remains @at it does. Now lef's not argue about it. I know what I am talking about. \ Thomas Jefferson, whose name I bear, once said to me: “Let me write | the rhymes of a nation and I care not who has the appendicitis.” It was | ® nodle thought, bat its full force never was realized until recently. | VARIED IMPRESSIONS OF HONORABLE DUDLEY. | Above Sketches Required Combined Efforts of Four Great Artists. ‘To-day the country is getting its per the specifications of the contest. living out of rhyme. Hundreds of houses cpt peel ” {Vie with each other to work ou! e | Poor bartenders, thrown out of work | nuzzie limericks and send Mr, Dudley | by Prohibition, are earning good liv-|their checks, Being of a erous | ‘ings for themselves and their families | nature he even went further in mak~ by winning prizes in rhyming con- |'98 the contest attractive—he let the | tests. rhymesters send him, not only their | |checks, but tooth brushes, stick pins On every corner little boys are punching each other in the nose in |prune pies and a hundred other | articles. bese, | ‘| The result was Mr. Dudley built up disputes over the completing of trick), fonowing of limerickers so numer- | rhymes, and hundreds of thousands |ous that it was almost unwise for him | of beautiful girls are working out the|to traverse the streets. Then came ‘thymes while their good-natured old gray-haired mothers do the house- ‘work. the inevitable. He was chosen by the limeriokers as thelr candidate for the ‘The limerick is the favorite form ‘of rhyme to-day. Conservatively Presidency. Mr. Dudley's selection for this more or lees important post did not come Jefferson Shrews- Campaign Button. speaking there are 330,000,000 limer- ickers living in these United States. | ‘They have become a powerful factor | im public affairs, and now looms up a big trutb—the bury Nutt. time has come for the Jimerickers to take charge of this ‘Government. ‘The limerick has become as plenti~ ful as the pork chop is scarce; it has wrept into the brain of every real an, woman and child in this country wats it is to-day IGGEST v) IN THE UNITED STATES. ‘Ht ts a barsting bomb of power that | grill not be denied. It will be the/ fasie of the platform of the next President of the United States, and that man will be BIDE DUDLBY, ‘who has written more limericks than Astute Campaign Hand-wrought| reson now unrestrained ip Ks oo perahidiphs "| Politician. Born From Sardine Tin, tle hamlet in Troll hs jay so Be Use Years ago in a pretty little hamtet| in Trollope, Mo, May.Also Be Used called Minneapolis, Minn., there was bora a boy. He was sali and ugly physically, but he had 4 brain of such “power that when, at the age of ninc months, he decided the family should move to Kansas they went. In @ quiet, unassuming manner he teow up in Leavenworth, Kan., and ut the age of sixteen, when expelled | and Married a Emergency Trou: Bone, ser Fastener, as 4 surprise to him. Luke McLuke, who know the great men in their side Joor sleeper days, accused him of collecting $200 checks for a Presiden- tial tund, and he admitted it. It was then that the Central ‘ommittee of The Day TELL POUR, AiLts BLANKETS YouR. ~ LUNCH AND THE THERM BOTTLE | CAN "Tr TAKE ANOTHER STEP_ I'VE LOST THE HEEL OFF NY SHOE. of Rest! DADDY To GET Go. CART. Tue BOTTLE . THE SAYS HE HAS EVERYTHING BUT THE KITCHEN DADDY 'S Gar TO TAKE US vO. THE PARK This AFTERNOON JOHN, Pur THE BABY IN HER. GO~ CART HER FEET HURT PBR Re WR ROUT from school, he began writing rhyme Immediately Kansas City began t. forge ahead of Leavenworth, and he eventually went there, When he left that city the municipality spent $6,000,000 on a new railroad station and began to improve wonderfully, much what Mr. Dudley did for Kansas City. A few weeks ago he discovered that the limerick was destined to become 2 force in the world. He launched in "the New York Dvening World a lim- CAMPAIGN CO! Limerickers met to send him to the chair. I was selected as the Dudley Campaign manager, and [ state un- reservedly that I intend to leave no bank roll unturned to see that he oes to the White House at Washing- ton, Ind. From all parts of the country are coming indoreements of Mr. Dudley's candidacy. being formed, many of them made up of sensible men, others composed of women, His name is a by-word INTRIBUTION, APRIL Sth, 1920 Monte One of Hon. Dudiey’s Many Campaign Contributions, erick contest, hanging up as a prize daily the privilege of sending him $200 with each limerick completed as| Copsright, 1920, by ‘The Press Publishing Co. (Te New York Bvening World.) 1. From what flag was the insignia ‘of the Red Cross taken? 2. What people use a block of wood tor a pillow when sleeping? 3. What mineral clement must be kept in oil to keep it from burning? charging a storage battery? 5. Where is President Wilson plan- ning to spend the summer? 4. What kind of current is used in, everywhere, and yet the e! him buy nothing but the honor sending’ them, Mr, Dudley hopes to get all the votes in the United States, He is friendly with the wets, the drys, the hots, the colds and everybody else without regard to party li His motto is, und shall remain; “ks for All, from All and by accompanied by a $200 as Manager, 1 urge all limerickers to get under this A limerick government, made up of none but men who can write these nifty little jingles, would certainly |put this country on a sound jazz basis, and that is exactly what it needs. 1 have arranged a great demonstra |tion in honor of our candidat |will be in the form of a Dudle \President parade in New York on 6, What is the name of the bright- egt star in the sky? 7. Who is the newly appointed United States Minister to China? 8. On what party is Herbert Hoover a candidate for Presidential election? 9. Who is the Republican leader of the State of Pennsylvania? cornered on the New York Stock exchange? 11, What poem contains tho lt the spring a young man’s fanc 12. In what book did the main acter charge a windmill? ANSWERS TO SATURDAY'S QUESTIONS. 1, elght; 2, 1,000; 3, Seventeenth; . Hyatt; 5, Tennessee; 6, Lloyds twenty-four; 8, Colonel; §, Hurley ly, four; 11, Oak; 12 thirty, 10, What motor stock was recently |! "World. Apri! 31, I and the wife will lead it, followed by a. Ura Clam, |whose record as a limericker is un- jimpeachable, As rner ig. jreached the par ‘the Colonel reads a limer | There will be a Woman's Division, jeach marcher carrying a frying pan, word rhymes #0 easily In conclusion let me say that never npefore have this country's prospects heen so bright. With Dudley as Pros. |tdent on a limerick platform the United States will forge to the front jso rapidly it will be almost tmpos- sible for the inhabitants to hang on. [PRemember-—VOTE. RIGHT! The Progress of the Hon. Dudley's Reported | itis an t Evening | possession | Presidential Gampgign Daily on Last Page of The Clabs of raymesters are | movement and shove it over the top. | use while} | The Jarr Family By Roy L. Copyright, 1920, by The Press Publishing dreams of April morning, rosy dreains and peaceful, and then the storm and whirlwind! The door of the room flew open |with a bang; the bedclothes wero |torn from over him, the mattress | from under him; the pillows seemed | to rise up‘and bit the ceiliug and Mr. Jarr hit the floor, while a window, raised with a sudden clatter, let the | cold, damp air ip upon his now shud- dering, shivering form. As Mr. Jarr pondered over what had happened him and this universe |of yesterminute, he saw the bed~ clothes—pillows, sheets, _ coverlets and all—go out of the window! As he Was avout to rise and shriek and clutch after them he heard and {saw the window come down with a | soft thud and hold the bedclothes and pillows half in and half out. | |" ‘This is a function or process known |to housewives as “Airing.” The whirlwind that had awakened r, Jarr was stil whirling in the jroom. Chairs were being upset with | |his clothes upon th | |being dragged from the room; very bed itself was pushed out from the wall, running over Mr. Jarr like a motor truck. ‘Then the whirlwind | | spoke: “] knew you would pay no atten- tion to me when 1 woke you this morning and told you to get right out and dress, as this was my morn- ing to start cleaning this house—and it certainly needs a cleaning if we are to avoid being visited by the Board of Health! Not that you care, or anybody cares but me, for that matter, So, all I have to say is that ff you have nothing better to do than sleep all day you'd better go down to that old office of yours and do it!" | Then, for the firat time, Mr. Jarr | realized that the whirlwind was Mrs, Jarr. She had on a wrapper, her sleeves were rolled up to the elbow jand she had donned wash leather | gloves, Upon her wealth of beauteous hair was bound a concealing and hideous home-made turban that housekeepers call @ dustcloth, Mrs. plain, was on the ram- page and sucrificing the health, | peace and comfort of herself and her | household in an orgie of the disorderly orderliness of spring housecleaning. A | hysterical obsession of this period of | | the yoar that all good housewives in- | \dulget in and will not be stayed or| | gainsaid | Then the whirlwind blew out of the Mf. Jarr dazed and all good wives and with spring clean it a a demoniacal | Jarr, it we room, leav wondering why selne gh true wer McCardell. Co, (The Now York Evening World.) and dust with the singing of a merry oundelay?” thought Mr. Jarr. Then the whirlwind blew in again. “You come right in the dining room and help me move the side- board!” cried the whirlwind. “Of course that girl has never swept under it since I had it out last! No, I'm wrong in that—she's swept every- thing under it. Now I want you to open that can of lye and pour it down the sink with plenty of hot water!” “Where's Gertrude?” mumbled Mr. Jarr. “Ive got to hurry down town 4s soon as I have my breakfast.” “Gertrude's gone out to get a mop and a bottle of furniture polish and some soap and silver polish and scrub brush and @ lot of other things I need and you can give me a hand moving out the heavy pieces of furni- ture while she’s out. If you were & handy man around the house Hke Mr. Rangle is you'd paint the woodwork in the kitchen for me and take the rugs on the roof and beat them"-— At this ppint Gertrude, the maid, returned with the house furbishing | adjuncts and Mrs. Jarr’s attention was turned to her and Mr, Jarr hur- ried into his clothes, dragged out the sideboard from against the wall in the dining room and the piano from its accustomed corner in the parlor; then he carried the rugs up on the root and bribed the janitor to as- sault them with a carpet beater Having done all this, he made his escape, arriving at the office in a grimy perspiration and realizing ho had no collar around his throat or breakfast down it. posal he OO THE EVENING WORLD OUIJA EDITOR ASKS bee weer Which Side Will Win in the Cur- rent Railroad Strike? TRY THIS ON YouR QUIUA Some of the answers to Thursday's Hqueslion; Where do the tandlords go from here? | L. T. M. Morningside Heights.—My sidered planning of clothes that pitfalls the many which pearance. lute prerequisite else, one’s complexion, able styles for mand one's costume are as itself, of organdy or medium color, tunic effect is sleeves, while Jous spirit of piqua’ 8 exhibited in oulja told me in Just four letters, but { don't like to tit Gladyce, Yonkers.—I'm very anxious pretentious sash, is emphasized by For the young ma- tron or miss I have de- signed a pretty sum- mer frock to be made soft taffeta in eome pale or such as cpple green, mauve or dull blue, The apron es- pecially appealing, with the tiny pleating to lend it a dressy daintiness, Pleatings also outiine the neck and finish the tiny 1 ener thi The the contrast of a A USEFUL FROCK o charm of it * Why can't they sorub with @ smile to find out so that 1 can go elsewhere, | delicate bazket of flowers embrol- continued into the sash ‘ d each mide of the front w ad, New and Original { For Smart | ‘Fashion Designs | ———— By Mildred Lodewick Copyright, 1990, by The Press Publishing Co, (The New York Evening World.) HERE are so many JB things to be con- in the one's to one who appreciates the into inexpori- enced may so easily fall it le a wonder that women in general pre- sent such a good ap- To know one's self is an abso- in the matter of clothes as well as anything in order to ex- hibit @ comprehensive taste in the selection of becoming colors for be- coming styles for one’s figure and, lastly, euit- the cecasions which com- Presence The accessories of the im- portant as the frock FOR THE MATRON. ould expect to see px The hodice is surpli Women YOUNG 4| Girl Swimming Champic Can Also Do Housework; 4 Mother Their Teacher =~ Mrs. E. A, Smith Tells How She Trains Her Twins, in HAT makes the model girl? How should the modern girl be trained? According to Mrs, ©. A. Smith, mother of Ruth and Eleanor, twins, record holders and champion swim- mers, @ mother myst make herself the pattern after whom her daugh- tere should fashion themselves, and two world’s records, the twins. are able housekeepers, an asget which Mrs. @mith considers more important than a knowledge of French Gothic art or ancient history, Three years ago the twins could not swim a stroke. “There are no set rules by which a daughter can be trained,” says the mother of these girls, who is peculiar- ly well fitted to discuss this subject. “An individual study of the girl and her habita must be made by a mother if she is to give to the world a daugh- ter well equipped to assume marital duties, “There ts no better school for mother training than to be thé mother of twins. “The mother should interest herself In the welfare of the girl,” says Mrs, Smith. “It has been my rule to share with the twins in all their moods. When they cook 1 cook, and when they seek other enjoyment I do also. We have done everything in threes, #0 to speak, for when the girls decided that t wanted to make their own dremes I made one for myself also, “It is unwine to try to teach the adolescent girl too much,’ She should learn as much without taxing her health as she can easily assimilate. “I think it better to bring up a girl in @ small community than a large city like New York. “That the modern girl, no matter what her position in life may be, must Sports, Work and Happiness, 'y Maurice G. Postley. Coprricht, 1990, by The Press Publishing Co, (The New York Bventng World.) AK be dignified, though @ good sport, not be denied. Men every often advantage of a girl who is not 3 fied, but they do not like a prude, Besides holding ten championships| solution famous authors, “Swimming ts not as much @ ma of muscle as it is a matter of Brawn does not always beat Many girls are powerful phi yet thou they are comparati: good owirenere- do not win. 4 psychology of competition is a in ttself, vices, z é average girl of to-day’ want 4 sermon te every turn. She does want to things, though, and by vision the vital points can be breugh ome. ¥ “One of the first lessons which I taught was the deason of service. | It has been @ part of both girls’ lives, to gain happiness from doing good deeds for other petple, The spirit of " fulness and that of unselfish ‘ has been instilled ‘in poth girls, add I believe it one of the greatest assets or any woman. J have taught the twins to pass on their happiness to those fess fortunate, { “A woman who has many servants cannot train her daughter ag she should, Unless it has proved neco: sary or when I have been unable phy- cally to care for the house m; t have ieee oe my own wi and when the girls became old mh they shared in the cares of the home oath me. The household labors have been divided among the three of us,” t Deaf to ‘‘Hear’’ OR the deaf: ‘ The latest thing is physio- logical music for the deaf by means of the Physiophone, the inven- tion of H. Gernebagk, editor of the Rlectrical Experimenter, ‘This unique device is donated free of patents, for the efit of the two milion deaf and partially habitants of the United Staes Those deaf from dirth wit! be given a knowledge of music otherwise im- | possible where Kets in: | style r. Gernaback's Invention js sim- He has attached a microphdne the sound box of a phono. which translates the inside graph, Translated Through deaf in-| oral | da Music! Rhythms Hands. The Deaf at the Theatre Can Bee as Well as “Hear.” into electrical impulees, each wounds note having a distinctive intensity ‘These varying impulses and the rhythm of their ocourrence are trans~ mitted over wires fastened to elec~ | trodes held in the listener's hands and are interpreted physiologically, | Mr. Gernsback gave public dam- jonstration recently and a Sousa march was “heard” slectrienlty toy | the subjects present. 4 | The Physiophone in also adaptable for the theatre, ao that the deaf tan “hear” ae well as see, and j vention is to be tested | York Institute for the |meana to help the totally ncing. \ ‘The merest remark or ac- eee tee - anaaiene.