The evening world. Newspaper, March 4, 1920, Page 24

> ACN NA ARUAEAE TOD THURSDAY, MARCH 4, Congress The Government Has Given the Taxpayer a Logd by Taking Away His Booze—Since the War Congres 1920 | Winter Sleeping in Tents | ik : | § Brings Health to.Three | Std LAY AM. ih | 2 Pale Wards of Alice Nielsen | ~~ Has Spent More Money Than the Engraving Buréaw By Maurice Ketten Can Print—The Government: Opened Up a Flécle, of Jobs and Threw Away the Key. By Neal R. O’ Hara. Copyright, 1920, by The Press Publishing Co. (The New York by. F Washington is the seat of the|it a seven-handed game, Washingto Government, the taxpayer is the] filled up with busybodies. And thd pants pocket. Congress solved] busiest body of all was Congress, Three Anaemic Kiddies Transformed Into Rosy Cheeked Can You Beat It ! : Youngsters After Five Months’ Outdoor Sleep—Mis ————————————— Nielsen Declares the Secret of Health Is Plenty of Fresh Air. ing World ( By Fay Stevenson. a —r" Copyright, 1998, by ‘The Press Publishing Co. (The New York Brening World.) ee WEP your children in the aar K as much as possible, let them seep on sleeping porches, in temts erected in back yards, on top ef roofs and (if they MUST be in a Bedroom open the windows an wide as they will go.” This is not the ad- vice of an eminent Physician nor a ‘world-wise mother, but merely little Miss Ailce Nielsen, the prima donna, speaking, in private life Mrs. Leroy R. Stoddard. ielsen has no children of her she had slept indoors ali winter?” I asked Miss Nielsen. ‘ “I not only think she would have had it this winter, as she always has suffered from it every year, but I think she would have died,” replied the prifa donna, becoming very seri- ous. “I think fresh air is the secret of fife and health for both children and adults, and I attribute my own health (i have never been ill a day n my tife) to good, pure air.” “Perhaps that is the secret of your keeping the ideal weight of 125 pounds; never a trifle more, never a trifle less,” I said. “Besides warn- ing mothers to keap their babies in the fresh air, perhaps you can give them a few hints about tipping the seale the same way from year to year.” ‘Mrs. Elida Johansson, her masseuse.| “I can!” exclaimed Miss Nielsen, that riddle long ago. The war is | over, the Pease Conference is over and the country is over its head in debt. Our Government is now work- ing to put the country on a peace | basis. The only trouble is that peace | work costs so much. The situation in Washington seems to be acute. But the remaining 300,000 situations jin Washington are chronic. ‘THE Gov. has given the taxpayer a Only a miracle like Prohibition could do a thing like that. In the old days a guy’s salary belonged to himself till his wife got wind of it. The only lien that was executed on a guy's pay then was a lean against the bar. To-day it's different. You don't own country—free thinking, free talking, free spending. What the U. 8. | doesn’t need from your pay you can spend yourself. For taxes! VERYTHING is no longer quiet along the Potomac—not since Congress has been in session. Con- gress is now cutting down appropri- ations by eliminating -all decimal points, We won the war and we won't forget it! Not while the rev- enue collectors do their duty. THE ‘War Department is still a hive of industry. So is the Navy and and so are the other grand old de- partments. But these hives of in- dustry ought to be scratched. Why measure. efficiency with a red tape measure? ~ W ASHINGTON was s quiet town before the war. There was a Tumulty in the city, but no tumult. Hotel accommodations were good and plentiful—or at least plentifu'. A dry Congressman could enjoy a glass of beer for 5 cents—and did. The natives depended on two-alarm fires for real excitement. Those were the days when Washington was a mecca for visiting school chidren and a lucky strike for the hotel men. old Uncle Sam sat in and made load by taking away his booze.) your pay to-day, For this is.a free| \W/ "THE war éhanged all that. When| A’ fered no objection. Congress spen® | more money than the Engraving Bu” \reau could print—and they botl | worked nights at that. The Governe |ment opened up a lot of jobs an@ threw away the key. While 2,000,000 doughboys went to France, 2,000,000 guys with a crust came to Washing+ ton. The civil service treated .’em civilly. HE guys in Washington fought with the old Red, White and | Blue—red tape, white paper and blue- | prints! They fought column after colunin of figures and estimatess They wiped out the enemy with Reme ingtons and Underwoods. They bate tled the poisonous gas of Washinge ton taxicabs. And they seized posi« tions of advantage in the Willard and Shoreham lobbies. Faithfully, doge gedly, they stuck to their posts—~ from 8.30 to 4.30, with a half hour out for lunch! And finally the wat was won. ELL, now that the war is wong what are we gonna do with |’em—these Washington veterans of, the war? We raised the railroad rates since they came to D. C—Is itt fair to send ‘em home? And what ‘about the disabled boys—guys that have stepped on thumb tacks; guys with fingers gnarled from punching. at time clocks; guys that hav smashed their knuckles on rojltop desks? Are we, O fellow citi#ens, are we to let ‘em suffer? No! ¥Ni A thousand times, No! What a we care for an extra thousand? =| THE war may be over, as gomd folks allege, but you nevercan prove it in Washington. The ‘War Department is still working on\ tha payroll for Chemin des Dames,jand the Germans are fighting on. @The navy is stjll checking up the cofvoy ships, and there are medals te be awarded yet. You bet your lifetthe war is still on, % NYWAY, you sap-head oat} payers, what are youse ing about? Did YOU go to Washington to win the wart, We thought Money being no object, Congress of¢ VR THE EVENING WORLD When the Worthy Suffer fo OUIJA EDITOR ASKS the Worthless, coy By Sophie Irene Loeb. Spooning League? Copyright, 1920, by The Press Publishing Co, (The Now York Brening World) Ni ND HER EE WARDS. Ooensnbacad Mott Well, then, your job is to put w ae Th e Ja r r Fa m i ly shut up—and don't quit till ‘re | »|} The Green-Eyed Monster Pays a Call by Proxy 3\ °°" : Hl at the Jarr Menage. i ; hh plain you're so tired. And if yo do By Roy L. McCardell. AIR Tn fact she has become 6o devoted to them and their welfare that nearly 4 winter she has waged war upon the Gerry Society to allow them to jeep outdoors, A> “but no one will belleve me. My rule is to eat just what I like, no diet at all; but I must have plenty of oxygen. This te the simple truth—if women who wish to remain their stay in the house you fall asleep While T’'m talking to you.” x ISON Copyright, 1939, by The Pree Publisuins Co. (The New York Evening World) “Gee!” said Mr. Jarr, “we're® “Tou see tt all happened this way,” | °rmal weight would inhale a gu- FEW days ago a man was sent] There is ample law to weed out TRY TH \ ; . . et" sa r. Jarr, “we're’ not Uttle co haagh yaar ese her whe perlative amount of good, reliable to the Workhouse for three|these false pleaders of poverty. In YOuR “ec MUDRIDGR - SMITH “Well, I wouldn't put it past you,”| doing that sort of thing all the tline.”” musical voice as she curled herseit|OX¥S" every flay, and especially months. He was a “faker.” | most communities such a one must QUIJA nd her husband have had a|retorted Mrs, Jarr. “And, as I was| “We?” asked Mrs. Jarr. x every night when they sleep, it would burn up from two to three unneces- sary, harmful pounds of fat in thelr system every week. Air burns up fat, ‘That is my secret of health and keep- » terrible quarrel,” remarked ' saying, it's so foolish to be jealous, If] “I mean they,” blundered Mr. Jare. Mrs. Jarr when Mr. Jarr came home|I have any regard for anybody it is| “And they'll put blond hairs on goats the other evening. because I respect them, I couldn't re-| of fellows who have dark wives«and py Pein allen tree ie ecineite balenia “Such things happen in the best | spect anybody I was jealous of. So, if| vice versa. Poor sort of fun, I say.” ena om regulated families,” said Mr, Jarr,|I do say it, there's no jealousy inme.| “Oh, you do, d io veteran of the|about the very poor people who are| send your answer to The Evening | calmly, I'd like to see myself!” Jarr pate Sewell Bar. Jane late war. I was} genuine, Such a ease ag this natural-| World Ouija Editor, “ 1 “yt shot five times|ly tends to make the doubter with- . But this one is so foolish, Clarais/ “I'm glad to hear you say it, my|tell you one thing: There better through beth hips,|hold alms where be. should really | Jealous of her husband, Before I'd be| dear,” ald Mr. Jarr. “I'm the same| be any feminine voices calling on’tita stabbed in the|sive, It shouldn't. The other day The Ouija Editor| jealous of any man! Huh!" This| way myself.” phone And you'd better look back with a bayo-! Strange to say, though, many people | Put the question: “You have no cause to be jealous | through your pockets and over Your last sneeringly, net and cut with |are of the opinion that since there is| When will the pernicious tipping of me,” replied Mrs. Jarr quickly, “but | coat carefully, too, If I find any- He carried a sign | obtain a license and if the authorities which read as/are alert the pretenders can readily follows: be apprehended. up comfortably on a buge @ivan in her studio apartments at No. 14% Broadway. “One day I paid a visit to Mrs, Johansson and noticed her ree pale little children, Little, B90, | ine aim. a8 they call her, the smallest, especial- | ana if you haven't faith in my air ly worried me, and I told her mother| treatment just look at my rosy chil- that they didn't have enough freva|dren who were pale and on a decline,” - concluded healthy litle (Mies ‘Nielsen ‘ alr, I learned that the ae Str.) a she produced a picture of three © who is six years old, had had pneu-| rowy, laughing children, Here was monia every winter of ‘her life. It/little Bab a ago, thin, wan, said Mr, Jarr. i ‘oment!"* o RT y wea epring then and I decided that/fsemic: now gue in tne picture of] ® cavelry sabre” Bo dearth of inher shah SuRArIAe 1s custom be abolished? |them are Lally rae ean ee oe bea redlnicst Hayes prt ped ae ee Baik Be wierics = \ these children should have plenty of | Ciiidren.” are the other two! The man also carried a crutch, |feigned and unnecessary, This 18 / Read these answers: none of them are to be trusted.” thet it she were like eome women Mr. | Poor Mra, Jenkins! Ob, don't 1 eon a ir during the coming summer and| Will somebody please open the| WBich he admitted to the Judge was {fallacy * | 7. Price, Carteret, N. J--Nover, | “And, besides,” ventured Mr. Jarr,|Jarr might have cause to.be jealous, | #/|,you men stand together?” ‘ then plenty of air all that next winter. | Windows? only a part of the paraphernalia! As some one has wisely sala: “The| Will A., Montclair, N. J—When hat | ‘no gentleman can be in love with| and perhaps if he were b«'d appre- | teat Oh Goggons it! This ts the lage a Weak me take thems tures children =| which he used to deceive. poor we always have with us.” check boys go to work, more than two ladies at a time.” ciate her more. é that sort!” mi MA Jerr in Geeta Bate. to the country this summer, give them This man its but thirty-six years| To him who has, a small change of Frank W., Brooklyn, U. 8. A—| “What?” exclaimed Mrs. Jarr, “Well, some of the fellows at the | Jured tone. ’ plenty of real Indian, open-air lifc, H DeYou old and has never been in the war, | circumstance is easily overcome, But} When people get honest with them-| “Oh,” said Mr. Jarr, smiling un-| office are always playing practical | manent ae advise it!” mee i bring them back in the winter, erect This is the kind of example|to the very poor, t must be viewed | selves and refuse to pay extra for|easily; “I didn't say that myself. 1] jokes about this jealousy thing,” re- Ana they might have quarrelled if s a a sleeping tent for them and I will Know? that causes untold misery to many | largely in the light of @ calamity. | what 1s coming to them. read it in @ bodk.” marked Mr. Jarr. Mrs. Mudridge-Smith hadn't dropped. } § promise you a set of rosy cheeked _ peaple, This man may be a pauper,| Let an illness come like the present ' a “what do th entiemen in the | meen her troubles and to ask Mr. 4 youngsters and that little Bab will|Ovprrien, 1920, by The Prem Publishing Oo hat do these g n 7 By Marguerite Jarr what he knew about Reno, asta a (The New York Rvening World.) office, with the keen sense of humor _ — but he certainly is a pirate, who] epidemic, to the main bread winner, M 4] t not have pneumonia,’ I told tie preys on sympathy which he does not |and the family 1# very much in a axtms O a ‘ mother. She agreed to my propoat-| | OF what eudsances is the White) deserve, condition of chao, It takes eo long a Mooers Aagpetees aaa ey Manicd CE — ton and I felt as happy as a lark.” | °f OP eke composed When you stop to think of the|for them to catch up. one (Shae ee N ‘ 2. What is the longest river i e +d r Marsha “Why,” said Mr. Jarr, “If they ewest “Notes \ Bo the children became the guests a - Fv mae cual gutiease aa hain hs 1 ak Gon one end oe th oaern al rshall in Europe? . 3. What 4s the largest Ibrary in| of Mins Nielsen and her husband, know a fellow has a jealous wife Copyright, 1020, by Tee Press Publishing Co, (The New York Wfening World.) Dr. Stoddard, at Harrison, Me, all reet appeal, who need help and who|family where there are little re- should be helped, one ts naturally in- | sources and not secure another post- they get his house on the telephone, | Fields of Science | ) Mise Ni fest wummer. Miss Nielsen trans- formed the front porch into sleeping quarters for the little family, and the outdoor life was immediately ben- oficial, ‘When it was time to return to the tity, Miss Nielsen bought a tent and hhereelf pitched it in the back yard of the Johansson home, at No, 51 ‘West 64th Street, From Oct, 2, with ‘only @ fow days intermission necessi- tated by the interferénce of the Gerry te their little noses, ha “And the best of it is,” laughed Bociety, the children, warmly clothed slept out of floors every night, even in freezing jelisen, “little Bab did not have the United States? 4. What were the ancient priests called who worshipped in the woods? 6. What ts the fifteenth wedding anniversary called? 6. What is the official name of the Sultan of Turkey? 7. Who is the villain in the play “Tritby"? 8. What was the nationality of the painter Murillo? 9, Where are the most lodestones found? 10, What player generally gives the signal in a football game? ll, What proportion of the earth's surface is land? Great die? ANSWERS TO YESTERDAY'S QUESTIONS. 1, 26%; 2, Ottawa; 3, Belgium; 4, Mainmast; 12, In what city did Alexander the censed at the actions of euch @ one as this. His crime is not only against him- self and the public at lange, but against all the unfortunate ones who realty need help. Mamy persons hesitate et giving adsistance be- cause they do not know whether such aid is deserved, or whether they are being fooled. ®uch a man should be punished to the fut! letter of the law tn order not to hurt those who are honest. When you think of a man of thirty-six not having backbone enough to go out and battle for his own living, but insisting on begging it, the workhouse is Nttle enough and the authorities should follow bim up to see that he does work and is not an everlasting ehurge on dhe commuaiyy . tion in short order, the distress sulting is not readily comprehended. I have read the hietory of hundreds of poor families, who not being as re- sourceful as others, cannot lift them. selves up as rapidly as one might generally believe. And every single example bas different state of affairs Therefore, I would who would give not te allow their sympathy to die because some “faker” hag fooled the public, As @ great @vlanthropist once told me, “assuming that 10 per cent. of those who beg are entirely unworthy and are really taking my money yet in order to reach the other 90 per cent, while to lone on the lesser percents In Lent, even Dan Cupid has to be @ good little devil—bet he mal up’ HOE Mh OMODWARM ne eect ~ iy -m my to those HICH is the worst triai—the husband who rvars, the husband | wicn ne isn’t in the office, and imi- ‘who snores, the one who bores, or he who merely adores? The present popularity of the oulja board must be a most convenient altbi for anybody in heaven or the other place who wants 4 night out, Pennsylvania women are planning to establish a “moral credit bureau” for their husbands, Will it take the place of the good old catechism and curtain lecture combined? What @ woman repents: her economies, her marriages. ‘What a man repents; the drinks he refused, the girls he did't kiss, You can swat the fly and you can put kerosene on the breeding place ‘of mosquitoes—but what CAN you do to the Persistent Press Agent? When a man has married @ woman, he seems to think her emotions are like the hot water tap in the bathroom—to be turned on at @ touch and turned off just as easily. Men are filled with conceit, women are vain creatures, but the popinjay undefiled is a fourteen-year-old boy training his first pompadour in the way it should go, In smart society the matrimonial triangle often is squared by turning it into a quadrangle, “Never,” said a wise woman, “ask a man if he cared about any one else before he met you. He will Ne—or you will cry.” \ ‘ ?) ee . tate a female voice if his wife comes to the phone, and ask for him ‘hy his first name, ‘hen if they hear by her voice that #he’s curious they appear confused and say it was just a friend wanted to speak to him, and then hang up the phone.” ‘Oh, they do, do they?” peok of trouble just recently,” said Mr. Jarr. “One of the unmarvied men got a love letter addressed to him as ‘My darling sweetest,’ and he took it out of the envelope and put it’ in Jenkins's pocket and his wife found it. He had to bring her.to the office and have it squared.” “I must say you can't be very busy at the office if that's all you do, remarked Mrs. Jarr sarcastically, see ene snes mn hes ad, ane “Yes, and they got Jenkins in a| | An Englishman jg the inventor of « magnifying glass to be fastened to a |pencil or engraving tool, to help the draughtsman or engraver. For use where space is limited a Chicago concern has brought out w |three-wheeled gasoline truck that can |be turned in a twelve-foot eirele. Nails are driven through two boards at once at an angle and cline! the second board by an |vencor's box-mal.ing machine, | _ ADVERTISEMENT. Manicuring Not Enough. Beautiful hands are more than @ ? matter of manicuring. The enti sk around the nail kept soft and white when Velogen ia us fay and night, “After washing dishes or dusting rub a little Velogen into hands, 5 fi ‘ef fol it igaveg them. "AC alt ugalata