The evening world. Newspaper, April 8, 1918, Page 12

\\ \ MONDAY, APRIL 8, 1918 Yes, the Spring Has Come, The Mutton’s in Bloom, and _ Potes Sing Out Their Lay And if Lilting B. Baer Isn't a Poet, What Is He? —He Knows Spring Is Here Because the Moss Is Green on the Backs of the ‘ Old Calamity Yodellers and Mr. Hoover Said We Could Eat f All the Meat We Wanted to, and Mutton Ie Meat—Maybe. By Arthur (“Bugs”) Baer Coperight, 1918, br the Press Publishing Oo, (The New York Evening World), | W that Mr. Hoover has unhoovered Meatless Tuesday, there are now seven days in the week in which we can refuse to eat | MONDAY, AP Tee as ae PICKING A MAN FOR SUCCESS--No.6 Pea Blonds for Aggressiveness, Blonds and Brunettes Analyzed by Dr. Blackford | Brunettes for Endurance; TWO TYPES OPPOSITES IN MORE THAN COMPLEXION; DEVELOPED BY WIDELY DIFFERENT ’ : ’ ENVIRONMENTS WHICH GAVE BLONDS A HARD LIFE AND BRUNETTES AN EASY ONE. ID on’t Put One in Other’s Job Blond Optimistic, Resourceful, and Loves to Manage Large Affairs, but Is Changeable, Says Dr. Blackford— Brunette Painstaking, Conservative, Con- stant, and Is a Philosopher. ‘ Katherine M. H. Blackford, M. D., co-author with Arthur Newoomd : of “Analyzing Character.” “The Job, the Man, the Boss,” and inventor a corn beef hash. After hoovering through the winter, we want of the Blackford employment plan, has authorized The Lvening World re * something else on our plates in addition to the acoustics and war tax. We car. even stand for mutton. Mutton is nonagenarian lamb. Mutton is lamb plus the armor plate of age. Chewing a piece of mutton is as tough as dissecting a safe. If mutton could put up half the battle while it's alive as it does after it's dead there wouldn't be any dead mutton. It would be fiercer than a wild dill pickle with ingrown warts. And yet this corrugated mutton flatwheeling over the hills and dales is always hailed by the poets as a sure symptom of spring. Every time an artist has a relapse he depicts Spring as a veteran debutante surrounded by a flotilla of pacifist faced muttons and lambs with expressions like the double blank in dominoes, A lamb is an animal with four legs, no two of which are ever galloping in the same direction at the same time. The woolly muttons and the woolly lambs are gyrating around Spring, who doesn’t seem to know that clothes are made out of wool. If Spring ever wears any wardrobe in the paintings we can’t verify it, as the United States Navy has com- mandeered all the binoculars. | IN ATHLETICS THE BLONDS BxCBL IN FReATS REQUIRING GREAT ENERGY. to reproduce from their books a series of articles describing how to fit each type of man to the job which will bring him success. N the paintings and pottery of ancient Egypt, Greece, Rome and Spain, divinity, royalty, nobility and aristocracy are represented by white skin, blue eyes and flaxen hair. Until very recently, most dolls had blue eyes and yellow hair, even in countries where their little mothers were as brown as berries. There are other interesting and significant evi- dences of an age-old feeling, amounting almost to instinct, that there are differences in character between blonds and brunettes as marked as thelr differences in color. Anthropologists violently differ as to the place where the blond, or white, races were evolved. Most of them, however, agree that primitive man was brunette and that blondness has been evolved as the result of either forced or voluntary migration of the primitive brunette to cold, dark, cloudy Northwestern Europe. Under northern climatic conditions, only th largest, strongest, healthiest, most intelligent, most hopeful, most courageous and ost The natural result would be the And that fs spring. evolution of a race of men and women endowed with robust physical, Well, whatever spring 1s, {t's here. ‘The thermometer has batted | WA x aggressive individuals would survive. 4 “ 5 over seventy twice in succession, which is the official verification of this latest edition o* epring fever {8 valid. You can be inoculated against measles and pearl vest buttons, but there is no serum yet published that will toss a barrage on the mental and psychical characteristics. Since the relatively abundant pig- tive. The normal blond is charac- Brunettes. terized in every department of his Negative, static, conserva physical being by positiveness, rapid- tive, imitative, submissive, ' the rumor, When the mercury clambers from the basement of the | mentation of the primitive first Le dagl | QOBaa Namath sence reac tenant! ; ae > thermometer up into the mezzanine floor you know that winter has tlers in these dark countries was not) 3 WHICH TYPE FITS 3 been almed for the exit. When you get an earful of robins mutter- needed as a protection against light,| YOUR WORK BEST? ing in the woods it makes it authentic. The prodigal tower on City blondness was gradually evolved satiate Hall is starting to sprout and should be !n full bloom by the time that along with the characteristics just These are the general char- j Gabriel pays up his back dues in the Musictans’ Union and goes to mentioned. acteristics of normal blonus . work. | The keynote of the physical char- and brunettes as Dr. Black+ ‘ (eps Modes viet: behets betes bi Rr iccaieek tlh va | acteristics of the normal blond {s ford has analyzed them, 7 munict| los and calamity yodellers. ie frost has been Ls positiveness. He inclines to be tall, ‘ by the warm weather and & complete set of spring fever has been in- robust, with a superabundance of | Stalled Beneath each citizen's toupes. | THE BLOND 1S BOLD, DOMINVIERING/AND THE BRUNETTE PREFERS HIS QUIGT HOME AND | buoyant, radiant health and vigor. Haberdashers, paying tellers, upholsterers, cashiers and others | AGGRESSIV AND LOVES THE LIME LYGHT. THE AFFECTION OF HIS FAMILY AND PETS Since his race was evolved in a cold, patient, active, quick, hope. \ ot ee bands) are barton ee ee reed we | . dark, harsh environment, all of his|$ ful, speculative, changeabie, spring fever in laree and «i enominations. e bas! een J hysical processes are rapid and ac- variety lovin ' any squawk establise@d by the Governmental Treasury, we infer that | Ly 9. | | old spring lassitude, It 1s fallen arches of the ambition. It is two fractures of the initiative multiplied by @ vacuum under the hat. Bubdtract your backbone from the result and you have the answer. | Spring fever. The intricate effects are drooping of the elbows, scattering of the skull and fluttering of the bank account. For the malady always at- tacks those who can't afford to afford it. As the Government bounced the clocks up a yard earlier, we inherit the fever threo feet sooner this spring. Boosting the wrist watches up an hour quicker may save sixty minutes of daylight, but what's the use of saving an hour to be lazy in? | Spring fever 1s a goulash of crippled snails, office Insomnia, day- | Nght somnambulism and handcuffs on the cerebrum, Spring fever ts a glue cocktail with a chaser of century plant blooms, Anybody in- | undated with the malady could make Rip Van lok Hke a forty winker or a cat napper. Its victims are willing to work, but not tp habit-forming quantities, When the birds flap soggily north, am- bition limps gummishly south. Palm Beach sults and other compll- cations set Im and we buy a passport to Don'tgivadammus and tear up | the return half of the ticket. Progress {8 glued. Spring fever is mucilage without a muzzle on, Prone es 2 Hair Nets Cross Ocean Three Times LTHOUGH the traffic in human ; has doubtless crossed the ocean three | A hair bas not been so bria& dur- | times, tng the past few years 8/ Since the abolition of the queues THE NORTHERN ENVIRONMENT DEMANDED STRENGTH , Size, WEALTH AND COURAGE OF THOSE WHO WOULD SURVIVE. UNNECESSARY TO THE BRUNETTRS. A KINDLIER CLIMATE MADE SIZE AND ACERRSESIVENASS | The High Cost of Loving in Brooklyn It’s Springtime, and You Know in What Direction the Young Man’s Fancy Turns in This Heart-Warming Season—If You Don’t Know, the Pretty Maidens of the Y. W. C. A. Do, and They’re Coining Money Out of Their Knowledge. “High back or low back?” he'll) warming tendencies turns emilingly | recovers quickly. |ing and other such contests, while |the brunettes are better adapted to |a rule fond of water. The majority) ity, adaptability, energy and activity. It 1s for these reasons that a blond seldom suffers from chronic diseases. | He becomes 11! quickly and dies or| cautious, painstaking, pa- tient, plodding, stow, deliber- Gte, serious, thoughtful, spe- cializing, eeeeeeaaaaanammeaaaaaaananeen Blonds. Positive, dynamic, driving, aggressive, domineering, tm- H The biond is not particularly well fitted for long-sustained physical ac- tion. He expands his abundant en- ergy too rapidly. In athletics, there- fore, blonds excel in the sprints and dashes, in jumping, throwing, vault- harsh material conditions, he bas evolved a tendency to introspection, to the development of philosophy, religion, In studying the brunette we shall | derstand better his characteristics if | we remember that his brunetteness wa, : . ‘ long runs, wrestling, prizefighting| plata the great majority of and other contests where endurance|°°* !" ® Warm, pleasant climate, | whi Des r fa tha pica Foadlalte, wplooée ae an sg the necessities were compara- tively few. Man requires less food, less clothing, less shelter, less fuel of great swimmers, skaters, oarsmen { and yachtsmen are blonds. ee Pais be pea than in a cold one. Tho early struggle for existence of | 1446 thin . a Walia less of all the blond races led them far afield. | gs, the brunette found them They hunted in tho mountains and |“! sy to obtain from the abundance jof animal and vegetable lif ins. They went to sea in| jo around on the plain: Lg j him. His surroundings were com- ships. As a result of these environ-| mental influences, the blond dorale| ster rome quiet and phy- oped an eager and active disposition, |. eeritearia VEOTaAe the blond and is fond of change, loves variety, fmientall nod’ Ehval bee all of his {s happiest when he has many frons| tee, Assan cal energy in ac~ in the fire, and easily turns his at-|,"°' ®88ressive combat with his ~ like, If you don't, you know what formerly on account of the veering |arter the recent fall of the Manchu By Hazel V. Carter. E {t ought to look like. hear another Jesse James-ess ask.|to her and says: the material of the fashions in hairdressing toward | dynasty, long pig tails of Chinese halr IN—the High Cost of Low] «pwenty-five cents,” the yolce of| ‘High back ten, low back five.” “Shall we take in a movie to-|The blond loves to rule. He is in-| wi neans of life, the bru- the extremest simplicity, still ther@}are no longer readily available. The ing. another highway robber in the guise] In that case the Girl in Question | night?” clined to be domineering. He Toves| ott? {n a Kindler environment and are millions of pounds of human halr | dealers are relying more and more on And in Brooklyn, at that. |of another beautiful maiden will say.| shouldn't be alarmed if she finds the| The money, however, 1s rolling in|to handle and manage large affatrs| in the midst of plenty, had both en- exported from China, One of th@/ihe combings of women, although| Time was when chair-warming was If the Regular still objects to part-| Regular seated on the floor when peculiar facts in connection with the there are men who make it a part of | the cheapest little thing a man coud er even before the drive begins, Res-/and come in contact with life at aa] °TY 8nd time to spare, i ing with that two bits, he'll dash for| she comes down, Nor should she be|ervations are being made in advance|many points as possible. He ts aj 7% brunette, having time at his trade is that often after the Chinese | their business to let their hair grow to | do when he called on the falr sea la chair, send the hair to us we treat It @nd | about eight inches in length and then | It cost less than a movle and lasted | - overcome if he of the old chatr-/for “beau parlors,” sofa, high and| good mixer, but on account of in| Sea oy evolved patience and — oumeneapcimmee ass » han! Mi | w & disposition f, Bee sa geod \t wack (0 HO HAAS oei It lortta bare who la tural eats | Teen low backed. Last night a Jackie with|changeuble nature 1s Mable to be for detail, for tention from one Interest to another. | harsh environment in order to obtain up for special use, says Popular |it to the small trader tn hair. For Science Monthly. This ts usually true /exporting, hatr is assorted according in regard to the invisible bair nets [to length and tied in bunches, Most | aia; eee he ania ae Me ous | promotion ond balldlog ep great en- Hane cried Filling te per- erican and European women |of the exports go to England, France ewitt, campaign leader a terprises, selling, advertising, organ- a ng blond to tak ean 3 vl own locks in order] and the United States, where the hair | Regular who \ Vhittled From One Board Harrlet Judson, “can I reserve tel izing, colonizing, creating and tye | this burden off his hands, : ane windy day ls bleached with peroxide, thinned | Calls at the Harriet Judson Y. W. ( p jentire parlor for Sunday night?” venting. | Tho same qualities that cause the ; The bair-net business has become] with acid and bolied in dye. It ta| A. No. 60 Nevins Street, to-rmorrow J haat chain shown tn the picture constitutes a remarkable monument| Miss Hewitt became alarmed, Since the brunette races. were| Pond to be cheerful and optimistte f of great importance to the province | thus rendered finer in texture and, in- | night will be met at the door by a to the patience, industry and skill of Nicholas Burton, deceased, of} “Are you going to have a progres-| eyolyed in a kindller climate than| ben things go wrong give him a \ et ‘Shantung, which now provides|cidentally, absolutely sanitary, ‘The| pretty girl d of saying “Come Pu Bole, Fae sive affair from sofa to parlor and| the blond, less physical and mental! 'e?dency to permit things, it they practically tie entire supply for the appearance of the hair ts also com-| in,” sho will say “In-come" (which | Burt conce!ved|to and from the various chairs—or| positiveness was required of them,|S¢e™ trivial to him, to go wrong, On market, Thus the hair net worn by | ple ay changed by the process indJ-}translated means an income tax of the of making are you ibringing @ party over to| and they have been able to survive! the other hand, the same qualities the veriest stay-at-home i America ! cate 10 cents to all who come tn) 8 ndless chain out | spend the evening?” | without the exuberant health, vigor, | ‘at cause the brunette to be careful eee ¢ are nae oO ., ants on one abot Bae Hi - oe Ptah “Nelther,” said the Jackte; “but I| intelligence, resourcefulness and ag- ans ba nitakine With minute details a4 }caso he ts the first comer he w riled 'r Selence | have a date with the prettiest girl at gressiveness required of blonds,|!#¢llne him to worry and gr ‘a How We Got First Seedless Oranges | make a dart for the sofa by the fire: bse nthly, He se-|the Y. W. tonlght—and I just hice size has Art bean necessary for | SPondent when trouble cor te sil NN 1872 United States Consul to Ba-, handsome seediess oranges. Next | place popular tete-a-tete ene \ board twelve | thought I might be a ttle exclusive | «heir survival, they do not Incline to, A!Ways and everywhere the ed ] bia, Brazil, Mr, W. F. Judson, was ¥e4r the oranges were even better, | spot at the Harriet Judson, There feet long, seven: | for once.” he £0 large as blonds; nor are they! Plond has positive, dynamic, driving, PcEr Gal ckias. (oat sou ana t he trees bore about a box of bad Tea another young us ths of a inal - Sas SASSI Sn | so active, #o quick or in eny way om a5 domincer ies tmpatlent pes | y ually ¢! ming. thick, with no i be a . active, quic hopeful, spec: sixty miles inland, up the Amazon, From that time on the cultivation Genes cata or two?” she will ask. other ¢ but ht RIGINK eee” the other| phVelea Ie #0 ROHE 80 bold, not so, Changeable and bie ea i SUID were native orange trees bearing /of the seediess oranges about Hiver- * the Regular will Jackknife, carve A Gornine An inking tie usual one AEE RSE an rackleuale init (ROteriatica while the nvemei te ohare fruit without seeds, says Popular |*!de progressed rapidly, As there reply—if he {s tactless. this board into Beatie around 7 the exercise | SERTeSS . klessly indiffer Mec cenniiee cess rormal brunette an 4 sly he | Were No seeds to raise the trees from, 4 . : ent to consequences as the blond \ atic, conservative, ime Belence Monthly Accoraingly wag tAkRA Gece ee '| erty cents, please,” the hold-up an endless chain he came across a recruit bi aun oy ryative,| tative, submissive, ¢autions sent natives afier tree shoots and as fou essary to graft buds Mceuteaee aes aa ae His best to: met mle Raree to) TRO HIROSE 1 TBOTS SC ORO Re ee aan tte Balaes ome of the fruit, The shoots were °f ‘he seedless trees into seeding fae Rte Spe | with a tota! a After watching him|M™ore constant. In keeping with all) tAKing, patient, plodd slow, de- packed 1a moss and clay and sent to neek ve ; for two coy aa sheen g | hee Pdid enn ne Went up to the man| these qualities, the brunette does not Mberate. Serious, thoughtful, spectals { Washington y were set out by Lid iad etal y i moe It pad prasad ane Hs bint a Ware Gace eh een | seek the Hmelight, crowds, dominat-| !#Ing characteristics the Agricultural Department, but at- se eaeuetat an hic Keen thousand Ay O18 Mm Huth be bie and one-quarter inch long | My good fellow, how do you expect! ing position and excitement, but pre: PEPE TS tracted litue a m until the Hext | navel orange, It fe the areeteat |. thea hart oem and seven-eightha of | 1,8 tat horse to go when you've| fers a few friends, well beloved, a wenee) PARADISE, year, when Horatio Tibbetts of Riv- | orange producing toc ality in the dash f pe re en then wide, Tf took | Orn ear a aint: Bemao. fae besten of Bi FAR R as niin, tee ate eraide, Cal, took the surviving four |world, ‘The two-prignal wren wees will make a dash for a “beau par- Mr. Burton Just ono | The recrult, after looking at bis’ iy and pets and an opportunity to ~ \. are at least shoots to his home and planted them | onced about refully guarded There Gre tome dosea besa year to complete this eas Tean only got ghat | enuoy the beautfes of nature Lats ! thon in thie Qve died und another was caten u> | jest harm should come to tyem, ang Parlers at the Harriet Judson, and SAY TARO EERHIO ABA) a tno to we, the orhedfoite Because the brunette has not been! wichty-eight doling \Vashineton, by & cow. At the end of five years they are now enjoying a ween old they are set back a little with—well, en daleys SAF rar Le NO ee tO. EO: Te NP ompelied 10 giveall of his (ime and| ioe rece te che en. Sone the two surviving trees bore sixteen | age. you know what a beau parlor Jooks | 9 nd to Keep UP With bim."—Cpi WWF a the: Na That was before the Y, W. C $100,000 drive, which opens to-mor $5 bill 4,522 Links in Endless Chain which ts perfect, leago Dally News, lots of money to spend pulled out a) fickle, Thus everywhere blonds push | minute spectalization | Not having into the Imellght, engage in politics,|* 8€"!Us for organization and goy- bh Amer) energy to a struggle for his life with! for an apartment of tive roodla ord