The evening world. Newspaper, January 11, 1918, Page 18

Evening World Daily Magazine Friday, January 11, 1918 due | Tee“ ‘What Every Bachelor RALPH PULITZER, Presiden Row. ARGUS Shaw, treasurer, 3 pane how, } sonnet PULITZER, Jr, Secretary, 63 Park Row. at the Port-Office at New York as Gecond-Class Matter, By Helen Rowland oan Coprright, 1918, by the Press Publishing Oo, (The New York Evening World), Rates to The Evening|For Kneland and the Continent and OESN’T it make you smile for the Unied States au ope Bs, International Canada, jon. When people say to you, “DO come up and see our little home?” ‘ Because, if you have ever had a home of your own, Or know anything at all about “homes,” You are perfectly aware That you never WILL eee their “little home,” No matter how often you “go up!” You will seo their furniture, and their best rugs, and their pictures, And their collection of curios and antiques, and thetr bookcases, And their “grandfather's clock” that never goes, And their company china—and al! that! But these aren't even a PART of their “home.” HOME? Home is the queerest thing! It {9 the large, jolly-faced kitchen clock, that ticks out the minutes sa noisily for the pudding and the roast, ‘el pee And the pert little ivory clock on the dressing-table, i And the wise old businesslike clock on the desk—all the busy, bustling, companionable old clocks! And the calendars— ‘The one with the nice, bold, big black figures over the kitchen sink, And the tiny brass one on the desk, and the one with the little pink roses and the Dresden shepherdess on it. And the faithful old thermometer that hangs behind the window cur- tain, And your favorite whisk-broom on the hook behind the door, And the shoe box, where you can go any moment and find your favorite slippers; And the old tool box full of fascinating junk, And the reading lamp, with the comforting green shade, That 1s no relation whatever to the pink silk lights you turn on fox company; ea the battered old percolator that makes such delicious, heavenly coffee, But {s not even a forty-second cousin to the shining copper one you bring forth after the dinner party; And the lovable, yellow, frazzled, dog-eared old books that are kept on a closet shelf, ‘way out of sight, And far, far removed from the gorgeous shiny de luxe editions in the leaded-glass bookcases; And the little sewing table, which is a veritable treasure chest of parti: colored eilks, and fancy buttons, and old broken Jewelry, and scraps of once-loved party gowns, But which {e always closed tight and camouflaged with a dolly and « vase when visitors come—— That is HOME! | And, though visitors never SEE it at all, Somehow You know instinctively, the moment you enter a house, That it {s THERE! And, without waiting to glance at the curtains, or the Tugs, or the com- pany china, and silver and embrofdered linen, You exclaim, “Oh, isn't it homey! ISN'T {t homey!” | And if it isn't there, no matter how beautiful things are, You sit around for awhile and then reach for your hat and say, “Well, I think we must be going.” Because you feel that you'd as soon be sitting in a department store, And it’s just these little, common, comfortable things That keep a husband home evenings, And it’s just THESE little things—and the sort of a person they stand or That every bachelor misses—and dreams about, regretfully, Ellabelle Mae Doolittle $6.00| One Year.. 50] One Month, ., MEMBER OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS, penal oc eo ed ssvaessdsasenevesssrvevecvousessMO, 90007 PERMIT INCOME TAXES TO BE PAID JIN INSTALMENTS AFTER JUNE 15. TRING the next five months, in addition to the many other burdens and sacrifices entailed by war, the average American must have on his mind the duty of paying his greatly enlarged | Income Tax. That duty could be made much less onerous and the smooth- and continuity of business and industry much better con- if it were provided that income taxes might be paid in in- stalments through a period extending several months beyond June 15, the limit now fixed by the law. Whatever Congress may do to clear up confusion or remedy injastice in certain sections of the War Tax Law as it now stands, that Taw will still levy an income tax this year upon a far greater number of persons than have previously paid such a tax—oven down to thoso Whose income last year was $1,000, Besides the normal income tax of 1 per cent., the extra 2 per cent. income tax for war revenue, the surtaxes on incomes exceeding $5,000—not to speak of the extraordinary and unjust flat tax of 8 per cent. on the amount of personal net income over and above $6,000 —are causing many Americans no little worry as they contemplate the considerable sums they must pay out of THIS YEAR’S income. For not in all individual cases will this year’s income exceed or even equal that of last year. Yet the eudden and unaccustomed demand upon personal resources must be patriotically and cheorfully met, even though that demand is based upon the earnings of a more prosperous year now past, It is easy to say that every one should put by the money to meet his income tax during the year he is earning the income upon which the tax will be figured. It must be remembered, however, that during the greater part of last year the full extent of the formidable additional taxes now levied upon last year’s income could not have been foreseen. Even now nobody is sure of the total he must presently pay. War, ably assisted by Congress, made its initial charge upon| aga the earnings of Americans # Keavy one. | RE Many careful, hardworking and solvent citizens of the United, =a Mamet Sen se a What My Parents ‘States have not margin enough easily to meet such a charge. @ Even those who could save have found that the cost of the sim-| | Wanted Me to Be | No. 18.—ALEXANDER GRAHAM BELL ” 5 ~ e Jarr Famil By Roy L. McCardell Coprright, 1918, ty the Press Publishing Os, (The New York Brening World), HERE'S going to be a meoting | Josephine Blessington Blotch made plest standard of living advances so rapidly that savings are absorbed | before there is time to make readjustments. And every family knows what sickness or emergency in this era of high prices can do to a . ao ete Sa es reserve fund. The Seed for This G 1 fol he Tell of ‘The Society to Suppress | the startling suggestion that this mu- B B née See ‘or his reat nventor’s Ae hievement, the ele- Jaze Banda for the Duration | tilated masterpiece symbolized the = : . c i ki : The sams applies to many incomes derived from smal) businesses Bacran Wiib sotcnl Gina Giudice Gnd lermarsmicnte of the War at Mra, Stryver’s, but Ij fact that woman disarmed hereelf xg de Dudle MA or investments. Not all have prospered during the war. A doubled or tripled normal tax may lay a@ proportionally far greater burden upon such incomes than a tenfold heavier tax upon incomes whose prospects of expansion this year were realized, Americans are not going to whine over paying their war taxes, They will pay every dollar of them willingly and study how to prepare themselves to be better able to meet succeeding demands. © telephone ts the product of three generations of effort in our family to extend the domain of human speech. First, in the ear- ly days of the nineteenth cen- tury, In Scotland, my grandfather, But in adjusting themselves to these first heavy, and until a few months ago unlooked for, increases in the Federal Income Tax, they would find the load much easier if they could make part payments at fixed dates, say until Dec. 1. | Such an arrangement would go far to strengthen this year the confidence end cheerfulness with which the country can subscribe to new Liberty Loans, buy War Saving Stamps and respond to other fast multiplying demands in an all-around drive to win the war. Furthermore, by distributing income tax payments over a longer| period, the plan would save tho nation the financial derangements caused by the sudden withdrawal of money when, as now, everybody rushes to pay his whole income tax at the last moment, Let Congress perform a considerate, a timely and a wise |, service by promptly passing an amendment to the War Tax Law which shall provide a reasonably extended period of instalment payments for the Federal Income Tax, Letters From the People Please Umit communications to 150 words, Complaint From Camp Upton, De the Editor of Toe Lrening World Ae a reader of your paper allow me to say a fow words regarding the conditions and™“reatment of the boys at Camp Upton | know if you will publish this it will reach the eyes of people who are interested in the wel- fare of the drafted man, Every day at 7.80 A. M. @ call ts issued to the men wanting treatment at the hovpital They are marched to what is known as the “Brigade Hospital,” where, no matter what is wrong, the patient is given * PB taken sick at night a man must @wa treatment until morning and make the wip to the hospital on iat of the boys, suffering from an attack of grip, had some one report the case to the hospital. As this was about § P. M. the doctor refused to amewer tho call, but s: the mes- penger severa! pills and a lot of sar- Imagine, prescribing pills ti Be cagtining the case! | tbe neat mormwg ocfore then| medical attention was rendered, and then only in an offhund way, more pills being preseribod If some sort of attention had given the night before the man woul or two, As it ts, bo is still confined to the barracks (note this). He wan hot taken to & base hospital, but Is Cependent upon the meagre knowl- edge of the boys in hts company, are eager to help him. stad hid DRAFT MAN, Saye Car Service Is Poor, To the Biter of Tae Drening Work, Weing @ reader of The Hvenin World for a numbor of years, | knowing that you always ke fair play, I wish to call attention to the poor car service on the Ninth Avenue surface Une. ret 4 t 1 have an hour for lunch day I get on @ 234 Street car a Avenue and get » transfer for Alexander Boll, | began with an tn- vention for re- moving iespeate| ments of speech His life was con- centrated upon! the study of the| natural organs of language and t! means of improving then ‘oo mal the doaf hear, them with sor ing, or at least to furr nt for hear was one of his dreams, | no equly Then my father, Alexander Melville Bell, born tn Edinburgh tn 1819, took the next stop, which was straight in line with my grandfathor’s but more advanced, He became connect ersity of Edinbure University, and tate on tho principles of 1 tion at Queen's Cullege of K Canada, not only improving his fath- | ers system, but fulfilling the older man's lifelong dream by inventing “visible speech,” a method of teach ing deat mutes to epeni My grandfather and father ace plished this with profound at, handed to mo the mins 4 with the U1 inpston, n of extend | Ing the audtbility of the human y have been Mt gor duty within a day | @ distance, This step would not have been tuken without the foundation Iald by those before me For the invention of the | telepiione was no happy accident or | inspiration, but the result of stu based upon the labors of my p cessors. From earliest childhood al phenomena of speech and hearing were made as famillar to mo ay my daily bread. When my brother and I were four. teen and fifteen years old, rospeo- tively, my father offered us a prize Avenue, but eoldom use It When a|if we would produce the figure of a ear finally comes along, tt ‘oean't often stop. Now, I don't feol paying fare for three blocks, and have to walk in the end, I ain not the only one There are others be man which would be an au 1 | | talker, to make My brother agreed | described lungs, larynx and vocal chords, To of His Father and Grandfather. Copyright, 1918, by the Press Publishing Co, (The New York Wrening World), head, roof of the mouth, gums, teeth and lips. We studied everything showing the anatomy of the speaking part of the human being. The vocal chords were two rubber strings, The roof of the mouth, tongue and lips were cotton batting with gutta percha and rubber, A pair of bellows inserted in the back of the automaton oper- sted the whole thing, and when my brother worked the bellows and 1 opened and closed the lips by hand the automaton cried “Mam-mam! Mam-mamt" like @ baby, We lived in‘one of those Edinburgh houses divided into sections Ike tongue, |modern apartment houses and took © automaton into the common stair where we worked bellows and the To our unbounded delight a woman n the place above eried out “What's tho matter with the baby? Irom that Ume on I devoted myself to the sclence of sound and the com- plexities of speech, l Like my father, nburgh and Lon- died at the E n Universities, In 1870 my father's nd the family ren ed to anada, ettling on a farm, Three years later I became Professor of Vocal Physiol- ogy in Koston University. At the time I was trying to per- fect an apparatus intended to make language sounds visible to deaf and dumb persons had a new-born conviction, a conviction forced on me by some un- expe 1 results in my experiments, trically, ‘The final result yoval telography," and on Feb. . 1876, the Patent Ofice in Wash ington issued to me @ patent which the telephone as “an im- provement in the art of telegraphy." ienaieeennediiescaeesoeer health failed veyed RED MAN GROWS RICH. HE reecnt heavy contributions made by tho Indians to the Second Liberty Loan bas Jon to the large sums do by Uncle Sam for his Indian wards, There are several thousand In- dian bank depositors in the United States, with tal deposita of more than $18,000,000, Something in excess of $4,00 is on deposit for various tribes, The combined sum i held by 25 banks, scattered through thirteen States. And tho tncrease for last yoar one amounted to $2,000,000, f Indian sUpArVision nd it is the proud claim of the bureau that no red man has lost a single dollar of the money Gide, = AOCONSTANT READER, | me fell the task of oontriving the handled for biumy | some servant girl dusting {t.” do not think I'll go,” said Mrs, Jarr. ‘Im the first place I have nothing to wear, and in the second place Mra. Sope is starting ‘A Drive for a Mil- lion Dollar Emergency Fund tor the Ladies Wartime Knitting League,’ and I can’t attend both affairs” “Attend them both by all means,” suggested Mr. Jarr. “I am interested in “The Drive for the Bullet-Proof Boys’—it {8 to drive them out of their desks and into the trenches." “I never heard of the Bullet-Proof Boys,” remarked Mrs. Jarr, “What are they?” “They aro the hundreds of husky | young men of good families and bet- | ter influences who have desk jobs and | desk commissions in Washington,” Mr. Jarr explained, "You'd better be careful what you say!" erled Mrs, Jarr, “That sounds isloyal and pro-German!” “I suppose {t does,” replied Mr. | Jarr, “and I'll take your advice, But if the day ever comes that one can offer any faint criticism without be- | ing so accused, remember I saw it first.” “Oh you see too much!" exclaimed Mrs. Jarr petulantly. “You ire a bad as Mrs, & who claims Mrs. | Stryver's ‘Society to Suppress Jaza| Bands for the Duration of the War’ is allen propaganda because Mrs. | Stryver laughed when Mrs Sope| claimed the Germans broke the arma | off the Venus de Milo in the Louvre when they captured Paris in 1871 Mra. Stryver belloves tt was done by At this Instant and Mrs. Jarr admitted that dashing young soctoty matron, Mrs, Clara Mudridge-Smith, who was closely fol- lowed by the unfashionable Mrs. Dusenberry, the little old lady trom ne door bell rs Indiana. “I was just telling Mr. Jarr about | Mrs, Sope'a belief as to how the| Venus de Milo lost ber arms,” Mrs. Jarr after she had welcomed her guests. Old Mrs, Dusonborry looked mystl- fied, while Mra, Mudridge-Sinith | amiled indulgently, “It was most succinctly explained | by Josephine Blessington Blotch at the Current Evente Club,” sald Mrs. Mudridge-Smith, ‘At the current Events Club we make !t a rule to onl discuss the problems of antiquity, and the subject under consideration at the last meeting was ‘How Did the | change, but Veuus De Mio loos Her Arast r when she tore off the fetters of femi- ninity, Ab, if all we women could— without disarming ourselves—but tear off the fetters that bind us, golden fetters though they be—the shackles of loveless marriage for some—the fetters that sear!" “OH, shucks!" remarked the old lady from Indiana, “You idle young married women make me tired, espe- | clally in terrible times like these, when you all should be doing some- thing useful! “When I was your age, young woman," she added, stall directing her speoch at Mrs, Mudridge-Smith, “the | Civil War broke out and my husband went off to be @ goldier, and I had more fetters than that Veenie De Miller gal you've been talking about, I bet! “I had two small children as fet- tors, and I had io keep boarders as fotters, and feed pigs as fetters, and milk cows as fetters, and bile soap 18 fetters, and now, in my oll age, I'm running around trying to borrow a scuttle full ef coal or four or five lumps of sugar as fetters! And now I drop in for this last purpose and ear you golng through such foolish talk s change and conditions and people change, Mrs, Dusenberry,” remarked the opulent young matron, Mrs, Mudrfdge-Smith, coldly, “Times chang conditions people don’t change,” Said the old lady from Indiana. When T was a young woman and the Civil War broke out, I heard just as much foollsh talk from foolish peo- ple as I hear now when this greater war ts raging jest like what is set forth in Revelations. Yes, I hear the ame foollsh things and I see the same @elfish things as I saw over fifty years ago, Them days young Wimmen ike you talked the same foolish talk, with gold rings on their Nugers, while poor men went off to war leaving wives and children be- ind, and selfish men hired substl- tutes. Yes, times change, but people don't have a couple of lumpe of sugar 1'U be on my way!” She got ker sugar and departed, while Mra. Mudridge-Sm'th protested bat the working classes wore getting lotely spoiled by the big wages tting since the war. change and aa THE OLDEST ORCHESTRA, ATH, Exgland, claims to have the | oldest permanent orchestra in existence, It was founded by Beau Nes about 1705, | hose, Copyright, 1918, by the Pres Publishing Oo, (The Now York Dreniag Werid), HE Women's Betterment League of Delhi does not spend all tts time deliberating on questions which involve the more serious phases of life, Now and then the ladies have an evening of frivolity by way of diversion, and they are indeed enter- taining affairs, Last Friday night the league met in Hugus Hall for a Uttle fun, The party was called evening of jokes and joyousness. Mrs, Elisha Q. Pertle, the promptress, presided. “Ladle sald the promptress, “we are here to-night to tell jokes and funny étories and relate laughable happenstances without reserve, I now call on Mrs, Cutey Boggs to give us @ joke, Mrs, Cutey, you have the floor,” Skeeter O'Brien for a tew remarks. “The other evening,” said Mra O'Brien, ‘I went to a show, “You sho’ did!" chirped Mrs, Earg Bchooley, “Excellent, Sister Schooley!”™ came from Mra, O'Brien, Then she cone tned: “In the show was a slack wire walker, His work got me to wop-~ dering if he might not be called @ slacker.” “Delightful!” Promptr “But,” interposed Mrs, Walkup, “maybe the man was beyond the draft ag ‘obody in the domicile!” sheute Mrs. O'Brien, A small-sized riot ate quelled by Promptress Pertla, who rapped for order and announced that came from the | the next offering would be in the nae ‘If I have the floor,” replied Mrw, | ‘Ure of 4 surprise. Boggs, with a merry twinkle in her | pose eed Poetess, Bilaballe Mae oye, “It ought to be a walkover,” “Joke No, 1!" said Promptress Per- tle, “and a very good one, Proceed, Member Bogs." “A ttle gil," the member “went out in the cold wearing halt- Hier Knees were bare and she caught cold. be blamed,” “Very good, Mra, Cutey!" sald the Promptress. wald, | stepped to the rostrum and Her knees could barely} ittle, is to jolly ‘us now,” eh@ “But the beautiful feature of she will spring her gags im sald, it is, | poetry. I take the utmost pleasure im | Introducing Miss Doolittle.” The great poetess, garbed in silkene de ripple, adorned with a flouncg 1 read the following poem gracefully: bird flew ins tree, loved Ubat ‘tree ve 0 other birdies of course, hie took & bouga, Our house ie very talkative. Li And if Mrs, Jarr will let me | Mrs, Hiram Walkup looked puzzled. | “Beg pardon!” she said, “but I'd| My, sister's child, Teeney Ricketts, | Some people tay la dense like to ask why the little girl didn’t Bg et ‘ barbed wire wear long stock! id, learn te, feace “Wel ashe Well, I a snapped Mrs. | h lin 8 daaher. Bogges. “That certainly does cap the Whe gay potato mabe) eee climax,” When the last line had been ealg “I should 5: y it kneecaps the cli-| the modest poctess backed up-stage max,” ventured Mra, Hoose Hopper, bowing and dropped into, @ ehale the druggist’s wife, completely exhauatec he ladies roared wit i ht A general laugh followed, Then is ith laughter and applauded with great gusto, All wero pleased, Turkish Sultan a Modest Man. HE Sultan of Turkey hasn't @ bad) Master the Sultan of the two Shoreq | opinion of himself. ‘This ts proved and the High King of the two Scam , the Crown of the Ages an > by the titles under which he is . Kes and the Pride enuioned in scent der to| of, St Countries, the greatest of al mentio! & recent ariny order (0) Khalifa, the Shadow of God on Barth, his troops In Mesopotamia, According| the successor of the Apostle, of the te Eoudon TipBite Bere ts wa Lord ot the Universe, tite Victorious onqueror Al-Gharl, May God pros it begant tect his kingdom, and place his pie “The Finest Pear! of the Ago and the | above the mun and the .and may esteemed Center of the Universe, at the Lord aupply all the world with the whose grand portals stand the camols| §00dNess whitch procecdy. from. the Toly Majesty's good intentions.” of Justice and mercy, and to whom the It is evident th, de: hat the modesty of the eyes of the kings and peoples In the) "Finest Pearl of the Age” torbad West have been drawn, the hin § 1, titles, ¢ full list of his array a ere finding an example of po! soc f there findin, example of pol also claim to be Promptress Pertle called on Mrs, “at ving but t hia mi, potentate ce the “Incarnation of prowess and the classes a model of! Mohammed,” the DI . }3 4, speller meroy and kindness; our Lord end] Evil" wa’ and the "Divine of Divineg” |