The evening world. Newspaper, August 10, 1917, Page 8

ReTAMLARHED WY doer PULeTREr + poe Durmenet Deny Recep Huntay 2 Pobrehing “aT endow a me neers Senn Oh heh hoe ‘ Ht ee Pee .* ‘ ve eelarebs > + Oh Pere? ¥ Deugt y of THINGE —— ~y vo eu ‘hw Bivteret ot the Peet Office at New Tort heed ’ . Camry" Haiee ‘Tw + oF . . histios . oll be os or or the Unitet fe a aad {= . ont ones & I~. oe One Ve ' - ' eels jonth.. , fome ont th ' . re oy ‘ dee ALWAYS 7 ‘ ME 0 7 Llib hed adibahrtatin WHY, & as t Pi / deli¢ te tick the ear ** 4 ' the ONE FAIR PRICE FOR ALL. tne, yet whew # w'clook and wonke + comee tim With murder in thine hear wnd any EPORT hae it that A ' { Where #ith.4 wil the house wil] resist Adw “ ' WHY, 1 say, doth the electric fuse blow out and the plumoing epring @ prices A iG 2 r eweetly surpris leak and the elevator ¢ a pirike WAYS upon Baturday wight, when po plumber and no electrician in at city can be States persuaded to come and repair them before Moula)? ; , The situstion should ‘ ' WHY doth thy pet man always fall ¢ upon the evening when thow r §¢ becoming « scandal, The power of the V i] i art arrayed and perfumed ang waiting, yet slwa surprise oe by . fiz prices and the power of Govern tt A dropping in on the ning when thou bart & cold in the head and a day- P : ‘ vetore yeaterday’s inarcel? Producers to conform to prices cannot be ple nl Why doth the draft appear to cover all thy FAVONITE men, from thy yon: . joubt : best beloved unto thy dancing partners, and “just MISS” all the bores The people of the United States have been for t ky whom thou couldst #0 cheerfully “spare” for thy Country? ion from certain American producers who made it only t plain Why doth the telephone always ring the moment thou hast lain dows that whatever prices they charged the Government they would « for an sfternoon map and Coutral answer sweetly, “Ex me, ¥ “ Wrong nimber?" sider it their right to plunder American consumers to whatever ¢ War Tan tkx Windemiaay “hain. eek oneal ‘ i n er apartment seeker come always to lool tent opportunity might be kind enough to permit | the apartment which thou art vacating before (he beds have been made and It is only fair that in this direction the protection Americans JUST as thine husband ts stepping into the barhtu insist upon for themselves they should also secure to ther Allies Why do thy neighbor's parrot and his canary and his vacuum cleaner 5 A way must be found to make it finally and forcibly clear that tra ra his sewing machine and his phonograph unite tn song to 4 f ene te ' fn Sieg eae | e r hideous always upon the hottest and sultriest afternoon apd } this war is not being waged to give Greed unlimitd license to stuff when thou hast a toothache or a he.dache or a caller whom thou wouldet t ite pockets. | IMPRESS? ; a Why doth the alarm clock become ambitious and go off an hour early According to a Bwise observer quoted by the Times on the morning when thou has planned to sleep late and sulkily refuse to “Germany is on her last legs, but her feet are still firmly | #0 off at all on the morning when thou must catch a 7 o'clock train? planted.” | Verily, verily, the great trials of life are as lions which can be faced In advanced stages of the wobb! we belleve, the feet with herol! = and preparedness and overcome one by one. me Pecome too heavy to lift. | But ffe's little perversities are as a swarm of gnats and mosquitoes, -+- THE IRISH CONGRESS REASSEMBLES. HE Irish Convention is session again after a fortnight's adjournment to give time for the necessary assembling of documents and reference a clerical staff. The convention seems to be settling to its work with a true sense of the largeness and importance of its task. If it sits behind closed doors and allows little or nothing of its preliminary proceedings to be published, that, Sir Horace Plunkett assures us, is only “because books and for the organization of Verily, to be a Hero once in a wh days out cf seven is a miracle. And @ man that would brave the adventure, faint with nervous pros! the office. Selah Analysis ---the Modern which try the soul and make life hideous. ile 1s a simple thing But to be a Philosopher and radiate “sweetness and light” for seven trenches without fMinching may, per tration after a Monday morning at ‘7, men of the most divergent views must be free to express their opin- atc Ww Or ¢ ' ; i “ ; ions with the utmost frankness before we can take the true measure ‘ of the historic differences which the whole world calls upon us to 66°70 my way of thinking, the he argued, and prompuy hace tremendous provement in| 4 @ two-call standard. His Feconcile. business methods during | (Arnings, | inuinediately ywed a The world can safely leave it to the Irishmen to see that none the past twenty years can be eX-| credit of ngalters, cule ft Up to the y analysis. by the great issues which civilization is now committed at.all costs to settle. Self-government never meant more, never seemed more | plained in one word,” remarked the analytical brain, that of the world- famed Taylor. When i re} k There is g aac lieve | @ chain st organtzatios of those differences gets overlooked. ‘There is good reason to believe) ERLIdeAL Ot A Hie whoresale Kouse’| iH CONMIAOrILE Dhow lcatloor Wt pHnte that not even locked doors will prevent parts of the proceedings from) Wand (hat word le Rablvals: & man to count the passers-by. ‘Then becoming audible at intervals to interested ears. “This country was built by teon-|rent Expere: ear hks laomonalratad Even at this distance, however, Americans are impressed with patruntive types, 1b 46 beine senesrved How Bish & rent it can ately pay on ced " mae and operated by analytical types.|this bi If the landlord wants two the spirit in which the Irish constitution framers approach the job. — — — Tho entire vast structure of scientific | {eM tt turns down the proposition The Irish mind is quick and sensitive enough to be strongly affected | He —_—_— a management first took shape tn an eA Ciiconcy expert in a ¢ ment store felt th sengers were employ t too many d. He demand Food Control Plan Will Close Many Saloon Doors = | “The purely constructive type eben Teports covering their eve precious or so little to be risked for the more indulgence of prejudice plunges ahead and gets action, But|Curmutation var yg Uk A Week's ace these daily slips and proceeded to analyze and and passion. If Government Should Tak2 Over the Stocks of Dis-|'» the open market at $1 a gallon, | of the distiller. The cost of wine and | that 1s as far as it goes. The action napa ace : . , ; . The loss on the redistilling of the|eer ts certain to be sent upward, |may be approximately right but only|He found that ii per of tha If at such a momentous, soul-expanding epoch in human progress| tillers It Would Mean End of Whiskey Drinking— | vnisxey wouta thus be anywhere trom | 00° that Lill Passes, at w rate whieh Appren nel type, ti iilong ‘comes |tline was devots to one particular : . " Is promised to shock even a pri the analytical type, takes the thing | lives . dit Irishmen cannot get the right perspective on themselves and see their But That Is Not Likely to Happen Just Now. 300 to B00 per cents ene | uandened, public, Bo tne men princi: |apart to. find, out what makes, the [that the task could be elimminat Tidienee tubatestes and hopes immeasurably large af ; nat docs not settle the fate of the y cdhcerned are. almost a8| wheels go around; finds some grit in/a radical revision of the stares aN ‘ ee T ‘ n ably larger than their alee r B y James C. Youn g saloon, Assuming that the President | foubled as the distillers. | the bearings; cleans It out; puts the] Analysis once more. * y ences, then they might as well give up Home Rule as a thing of which eberigh, A611. by. tad Frese Putiching On, (ibe Mew York Sresite Wand), authorizes no action to take over the| geuin owing ‘to the, prohivition. of| at twice the previous speeds | An aaalevir ot cos natra! they never were and never will be worthy. HAT ln the food control. bill| please the Prohibitionists mightily.| Whiskey now ready for market, the| whiskey distilling will conserve only| “Let's take some specitic cases.| vealed a sigalg y iaiiiianieahalaeatisdytnediaasaasmiteiie going to do to the saloon?| For theso are the simple facts: ‘The| saloon is likely to go on its way ag| bout 13,000,000 bushels of grain) The: up-to-date retailer has an oped that 8 'e sal iy Tho bill plainly states that| whiskey in storago runs about one-|heretofore, But there certainly will |), weer AIRPURB: AiRer OAD, Ate OuratS ag sh rg hore hae BY | made cases where thes f iers ca e a Ne | co sit, he kee ack Oo! ara 9 e } New York scores 310 Runs.—Sporting page headline. whiskey no longer éan be made in| half alcohol, It is worth from $1.60 to| be fewer saloons, At least 25 perl crop for thelr purroses, many million| demand for ‘the articles ho carries, | ewcly Walked in on the P}) Wrong again. It was not Benny Kauff on the rampage the Unt States for the duration of | $3.a gallon at the present time. If tho| cent. fewer, according to men whe| bushels of our grain will be distilled | j1@ knows the rate of turnover of bis | nop bo. Ayan mane BS Thirt eit Only the Ne® York Cricket Club defeating Philadelphia the war, and none can be imported. | Governméht were to take the whiskey | re in a position to pase oplilon) 3f) GBroad by sraueh ae eae aan departments, is Unes, his separate] pointment “had been ate ane f 4 So It Is plain what will happen to the}over upon that basis and redistill it] that 1s true, New Yokk State soor | irae ig to lay Ne Ad y | where ence he can order Intell: | conclusion was cles 1 : “4 i at ts ay an embargo upon al ; WP iaeR atock and do mere ar, It was casler ti | distiting business. That comes to an} to retrieve the alcohol, only 50 ver mn uve Dey mapy saloans grain shipments, which would amount | Fst seven lesa capital ‘Cnt is act a man when he had no oppor. ‘ end, But what about the saloon? | cent, of the whole would remain, In|4s in the recent past. ‘he other 25] 10 a checkrein upon one of our most] merely analysis. Every time he goes | iit el his resolution against it TRYING TO MAKE THE STREETS SAFER. |: here are 240,000,000 gallons of dis-| other words, whiskey worth $1.60 a| per cent, will be accounted for by the| Important activities a ee Aan over his stock sheets be is merely dg is nae the ediet went a4 4 — . |tilled Hquora in storage, enough to| gallon would yleld alcohol at the rate| State law which permits a certair kar SER EPR Vie analyzing his business. RE onde InGreABed To Te conint caaeee 1 THE ne " ing increase a a : & 4 ‘ a their success, Another instance — the efficient } @ increased, 1 could keep on + N a FUR HER EFFORT to check the alarining increase of|iast from two to three years. Al-/of $3 a gallon, And the $3 whiskey [Humber of Hcenses to a specified pop-} ‘Taken from any standpoint, the saicarsan keeps tabs on each canvass Wadetinitely, Analysis in the great ] automobile accidents in the streets of N York, the police| though the measure is explicit about] would be turned into alcohol on the | ulation, i sod Control Bill, in its relation to] he makes, He keeps a score card | £0 ce which ds pving bueiness i : eobolle bev- rhe Food Céntrol Bil , whiskey industry, 18 a very In- | ’ ethods. ‘ n from maki and the Magistrates announce a new and determined campaign|'® Manufacture of alcoholic Pev- | basis of $6 4 gallon, ae sth Ruedas H A pee nese of tamination. © ic | Mat Reee ust WHAE cases he the same old mistakes for yecry ae against violators of the traffic laws erages, It says nothing against thelr] ghouta the Government take part] influences the b sy at ely the | tho; it wears thee guise of an Re reenuan end, It demonstrates the one best pa A ; ' sale, So this hugo supply 18 avail-|o¢ the whiskey stock it would have| Yintage of wine. Thateis amail comn-|economic measure, the law in reality t Got expression of serious in-| Way of doing a thing. It ds the big- ‘Citizens of this community who operate their automobiles with}able and its sale will leave the} put one primary object tn view—its fort ERE chnee ok brewer or the wine: rn shrewd step toward prohibition. | terest, gest factor tn efficiency,” tes i " " é wl aay ¥ i akers e enue bill! The whole country is going to make | "4" Closed sale. _@isregard of traffic laws and the safety of pedestrians,” warns Magis-| leon exactly where it is now, With | manufacture into ammunition, Alco-| pending In Congress that will make|a test, willingly or unwillingly, of itp cae AON cecualanauinls trate House, “had better know now that intensive warfare has been declared on all violators, and their arraignment before me will mean that they will be severely punished.” “Automobdilists are entirely too fond of speeding along thickly crowded city streets.” True, most true, always true. It is also true that an astonishing umber of pedestrians in this city are entirely too fond of crossing crowded streets—diagonally and anywhere but on the crosswalks with an habitual recklessness which would imperil their lives under the most perfect conditions of traffic regulation that could be con- ceived. Careless driving of a motor vehicle is no doubt a more serious matter than the careless zig-zagging of an individual pedestrian from But if this individual pedestrian becomes increasingly in evidence on every block, until a census of him would run to five or six f what then? Won’t there come a day when, in the interest of a larg eafety, some authority will have to step forward and say that he MUST use the crosswa! . Then why not “safety first” and restrain him now? Ires, Hits From Sharp Wits It certainly te a funny thing to hear) ®@ man plead that his “conscienc r) A wise spinster says it's better to be laug at Won't permit him to do his duty.—/| married than not to be 0 Philadeipuia Inqui because you are—Chicagu News e” . . Our climate is changin “Man's biggest succ says Lima Beane, “is in living happily ever|year consists of seven months after,"—Toledo Blade. tense cold and seven monthe cf cc. ore 8 cessive heat.—-Deseret News, ‘The reason why potatoes aren't any . @heaper than they are is that there so many of them this season that costs more to dig ‘em.—Boston pt. | waned omen | Iéfe is a grind, Had you rather Some folks act as worrying #0 as to ke off their real trouble Press, hough they were their minds ~Binghamton ' 28 « Many a man who starts an argu- ment is finished by it.—Bingbamton Press, curb to curb through the moving traffic of a crowded thoroughfare. | public| Now the * the exception of increased taxes and higher prices for the consumer ‘That is only part of the story, The President has been given the right ¢ commandcer any or all of this whis key for conversion Into commercial alcohal, will be demanded by which munition plants in large quantities |1f the President was to order selzed Jany considerable portion of the 240,- 000,000 gallons, prices upon the bal ance would, of course, mount sky ward. And If he should decide to take all of it, the drinking habit in this country would come to an abrupt termination, so far as whiskey Is con cerned, It is very improbable that Mr. son will follow either of the two de such action would vices, although = sf setric Shock Cures Shell Shock | Ek ‘3 HIS newest thing In curative set- ence that may be traced direct- ly to the influence of the war iy the treatment hell shock by electric shock ands of men have been permanently disabled by \the force of shell explosions although uninjured by fragments, Many thou- sands more have temporarily lost the power of hearing, speech or move- ment of thelr limbs owing to the ne cause, So serious did these atime come that British scientists intensive study of the subject, de tric shock to paralyzed to some extent counteract the first shock and bring b normal pow- ers, The experiment has proved suc. efulino many cases and it is honed |that from this beginning an effec: tive method may be worked out of treating the ordinary forms of paral- | yots. ts be- an an They limbs might ided that the application of elec- | hol for this purpose can be purchased |The Jarr F Copyright, 1917, by the Press Publishing Co, (The New York Evening’ oid.) 6 6] HEAR you are forestalling the | proposed nation-wide Pro- hibition and are off the stuff,” remarked Johnson, the cashier, ‘Is Te true you are fore- stalling, or just plain stalling? “Well, in this hot weather | am not adding to the calories in my system by th unhealthy ot firewater, if that's what you mean,” replied Mr, Jarr cheerily, “1 am on chemical fire the water wagon, get on yourself—| the water's fine!" “On," sald Johnson cuttingly, “I don’t have to, and If I did It wouldn't be front page stuff to oust the war news—I Bever was a bar fly, you] know." “Do you mean to say | ever was a bar fly, a rum hound?" asked Mr, | Jarr indignantly, “Well, it's a personal matter and [| won't discuss it with you,” sald the cashier, “Those things are a matter of taste, but if you HAD to stop- “HAD to stop?” repeated Mr, Jarr. “Who says that?" “Oh, no one, of course, no on said the cashier, and he hurried away, s it true the boss gave you a warning about the old stuff?” asked Jenkins, the bookkeeper, a little later, No chance of your losing your job their lot almost equally hard as that amily. “If my nose {ts red It IS from sun- burn, and that's more than I can say By Roy-L. McCardell of the others around here c Me. APY laws lation of calls, he can see where ho wo weak, And it's up to him to strengthen that spot in his canvass. If he is selling something which may require more than one call, he keeps track of just how his sales run judged by this standard, One insurance man analyzed his year's business and found that he closed 48 per cent, of an 8a) Mr, Jarr was so mad he didn’t say Mr, Jarr responded hotly, “and as for|a word to this, but buried himselt in| Mls customers the, frat call tit gh Icalag my Job | muees 1a 8 pratt | his newspaper. total of 84 per cent, on the first two What makes you chuck these odturs | o/s, Fie aor faees ners Bloails, At {hie time he was spending atm |fiKulioa mises’ Lheeeie went ons tiow | neserbote whom Ne pad already eecn forke, Mave vou sapped Mr. Jarr stirred uneasily and growled | 84 per cent. of my business, why iron did Trevor start?” asked Mr, (at Rangle had better not stop sud-| waste my timo on so many addittonal tart “When did any of|Jetly ax his system WAS used to| you ev aa 10 —— — TT of course!” said}, “OB. I'm ail right,” said Mr. Rangle | The U Boat Laug! nkins, “still, When a man has to go |Hehtly. “Will you stop in Gus's and Seat off the stuff’ all of a sudden, you |Se tho baseball score with me, or| ewest Peril know—that looks} doesn't ieyt (Ste you asraia? | ©, it don't!” retorted Mr. Jarr. “I |.) Im not afraid to go any-| | only have this to say, that 1 stopped | “7 Id Mr. Jerr, . | these days there are all kinds of my very moderate and very occa | ey. apr POpuise ente,on the corner |] experts who undertake to settle amp hokkeeper looked across at|Want to servo chorics. If you'vel'a set of rules, Tho latest complla- | the hier, and the cashler tapped |*tupped, why, stay stopped. = | tion of this sort Is guaranteed to tell his forehead significantly, | Ps arr penses the bar, Phas your character by the way you laugh. | That evening Rangle called for Mr, | {he fe ter with all you ginks?” he) ang should your laugh sound ike a I ome matters betore he left for| uct, 2 2, Gus") remarked {succession of U's ted tomerner, then home, and he did not notice Ranglo | M4nsle coolly. “They always get that | you are a dangerous pe In fact, in. Whispered colloquy with Jenkins | ¥#Y;, 4! nerves, when they stop sud- the U laugh 1s almost as dangerous and Johnson, Ee eee Re Ain dhun wank nora bis wita Oh cha Bake e street angle looked en Mr, 4 be ome his y FE Reea paca teae eh Jasked him it ho would make some|, According to this expert, the broad Pea acting a tittle red, waan't|claret lemonade, | Ha, ha," which sounds not unlike the it” Ir. Jarr shouted that he would not, | slee of the mule, is a certain indica- “what was getting a little red? and. that he wasn't’ ever going to tion of an honest open-face charac- asked Mr, Jarr, touch even claret lemonade, and Mrs.| ter, Those who give vent to a series “Your nose," replied his friend, |Jarr replied that the were worse of chuckles resembling “Hey, hey, till, it may have been sunburn, |things than drinking, perhaps—a mo-| hey,” are set down as fickle, But “But I've known cases where booze {rose disposition in the home, for one |jf you should express your mirth has gone all through a fellow’s sys- | thing. Hy {ho sound of “Hee, hee: hee” then tem and never left a trace on his| “Look here, Mrs. Jarr," cried the! you are affectionate, a bit timid and nose," badgered man, “do you believe that of an undecided character, “Now, the virtue is its own rewar “Most certainly 1 do, man who bui Ho, ho, ho" is @ fine fellows generous its forth with a jovial replied the avu way Bul Yt) for yours,” retorted Mr, Jarrehotly, | good lady, jand bold, su the individual who course?” “Well, I didn't hav “Well,” groaned Mr. Jarr, “the re-| expresses mirth by the sound of “Hu, “Yes, I can stop and I have/temperate potations, did 1?” ward 13 so small it's no wonder so hu, hu” is @ dangerous citizen, Be- stopped, and that's more than some| Rangle, few people want to claim iti” ware the man with the U boa: laugh! IPLOMATIC bungling on the part of Germany ts largely respon- sible for her present situation, In one instance, however, her diplom- acy won, and what is more, bested ID her presen: worst enemy, England, past master in the art of diplomacy. That diplomatic triumph of Germany resulted in the acquisition of Heligo- land, ‘which alone to-day protecta Germany from the most powerful Jaggregation of warships that the world has even seen, Heligoland was originally a Dantsh possession, but tt was taken over by England in 1807, and confirmed to Great Britain by the treaty of 1814 The English did little in the way of |making the island a strategie point, jand the average Englishman hardly knew that such an island existed until the announcement of its trans. |fer to Germany in 1890 brought out a storm of disapproval, In kngland the value of Heligoland ax a naval |station was strongly insisted upon by many writers, and Lord 8 ury Was bitterly critielsed for making the transfer, The inhabitants of the Isl. and were also clamorous in their op- pouition to the change, but the wishes of a few fishermen and pilots were not permitted to weigh in a matter affecting the welfare of empires, In return for Heligoland Germany gave up territory in Africa almost as large as Germany {tself, but it cannot be sald that the transaction was profitable to England, It 1s from Heligoland that most of the submarines go forth on thelr mission |of destruction, Of late there has |been talk in certain naval ciroles of a combined naval attack oa Heligo- |land, but wisor heads have prevailed and have proved the utter impo: bility of an attack by sea on the great stronghold that Germany has created there, | tears