The evening world. Newspaper, July 11, 1917, Page 16

i or COMIC PAGE About Plays. and Players. By BIDE DUDLEY Mi ME. SARAH BERNHARDT, re- M Juvenated and fully recovered from her recent illness, will ssume her acting Sept. 1. Arrange | ments have been made by her man- ager, W. F. Connor, with Kiaw & Erlanger whereby she will be seen at the Knickerbocker Theatre, pre- senting her full repertoire, including two new plays, as well as scenes from “Madame X” and “L'Aigion,” and the | trial scene from “The Merchant of | Venice,” in which she will appear a9 Portia. A feature of the engagement will be the presentation of a new war play by Henri Cain. After playing at H the Knickerbocker, Mme. Bernhardt will tour as far as the Pacific Coast. Her son, Maurice Bernhardt, his wife and daughter, are to be in New York when Mme. Bernhardt begins at the Kalokerbocker. WRITE HIM, GIRLS! | Pawi H. Dissac, a French soldier now at the front, has written A. HH. Woods asking that a young lady be | found who will correspond with him. He is eager to receive letters from fair Americans, he states, Dissac’s address_is T. 8. F. Bighth Genio, Sector 70, France, He promises to answer ail letters BY WAY OF DIVERSION. Said Silas McGuggin, in Peewee- le's store: “This dropping of bombs By the Huns makes me sore, It seems like/the English don’t k do. If I was in London their cue, I'd show ‘em some nervo that would hand ‘em a thrill I'd also exhibit some wonderful skill Ia watch for the bombs, and when ever they'd fail, I'd ketch ‘em the same as you'd ketch a baseball. A bomb won't explode if it can't hit the ground, The bump it receives makes it scatter around its missiles of death; so by ketchin’ the thing, you rob the bomb system of most of its sting.” “I get you, friend Silas!” said Grandpa McGee, “1 khow yer as brave as a fetler could be, but how ‘bout that bomb Ezry Keets thought he found? You sure showed ‘all you could cover some ground.” Then Si lett scowl on his face. swan! That there the store with Said Grand. Si is a case.” OUR OWN POPULAR SONGS, “Lwill not dance w th you to-night,’” Grace Homdck Hose, Wt tee rere ‘wan, gt bar coming out alta, wrote Mib.teiely ees ant Shaseiethet the tat Del, that sre used “S'MATTER, POP?" 4, Copy rlant, 117, Pree Pubneting Co, ‘(S, ¥, Bvering Wort But, Let Pop Just Whisper “Ice Cream” and See How Quickly He'd Qualify ! { ih My taf" Me he Same Thing On Fvening World Daily Magazine ce Happened to Us! bE MIME RG a3p00. ‘ NO MIND READER, NDIGNANT young wife (as soon as Aunt Matilda has retired after dinner)—"John, I'm surprised at you, using such language as you did No wonder ome words just now!’ John—"Couldn't help it, Tay dat Inew ae nd, my dear, I burnt my fingers hor- omonvs: ribly.” "Still, you had no right to to swear before Aunt Matilda.” Jobn cies fmt, Sim ste, fone, (irritebly)— Ob, how was I to know fo ~ * at she wanted to swear first wri Pete Tena Stray Stories, ; rc yates mt om ent got 10 jay for Sou bet Sus lhe ou an” THAT GOLDEN VOICE. John L. Golden went to Great Neck recently to demonstrate to Charles Dillingham a new Hubball-Golden song. It was written for the next Hippodrome show. He drove down in his auto. Mr, Dillingham was just starting for New York, so Mr, Goldon took him in his car, the first mile the iron was hot, eo Mr, Golden struck. “Just listen to this,” he sald, He sang a few bars in that voice of his and the auto hit a telegraph pole. It then sideswiped other large os of scenery, Soon came the Dil- fingham everyday auto and the two men resumed their journey in it, leav~ ing ‘the Golden car in charge of a}i wrecking crew, When they were nicely under way the Iron became hot again, Baid Mr, Golden: “Just listen to thie!” A right to the jaw stopped him and avoided further mishaps, ally the case, al- most the At the end of | a HOW IT FELT. | ares from the trenches, an Eng- lish “Tommy” had just arrived in London for a few ¢ leave. As is usu- first place visited was barber shop, says London Tit- Bits, The barber, after scraping away in- dustriously for a few momenta, made the usual inquiry: “Razor all right, sir?’ “My good man, if you hadn't men- tfoned it 1 should never have known there was a razor on my face." The barber beamed, “Thank you, air.” “No,” added the soldier, reflectively, Gossip. “T should have thought you were bay- Julle Herne has been engaged for @ part in “The Inner Man.” fhe annual masquerade ball of the Lights will be held at the club at Freeport to-night. Klaw & Erlanger will produce “Un- der Pressure," by Sydney Rosenfeld, in the fall Augusta Glose of the Stage Wom- en's War Relief would like to have you leave books and magazines for soldiers. with her at the Fulton ‘Theatre, Harrison Brockbank has been re- engaged by Klaw & Erlanger for the leading barit “Miss Springtime” company. rusticating at Tuftonboro, N, H. A requiem high mass for the re- pore of the soul of Mra. Josephine Cohan-Niblo will be sung at the Church of the Blessed Sacrament, Seventy-first Street and Broadway, | at 10 o'clock to-morrow morning, Silvio Hein has been commissioned by Arthur Hammerstein to write the music for “Furs ard Frills." Rudolph Friml was to have done the work but | Rud and Art had words. | Macey Harlam, Donald Gallaher, | Charles At nd Ralph Kellard| have . H. Woods for This play by Charles and Marcin ANSWERS TO INQUIRIES. Guernon Max | Harry Levy—Not in the past five! that, it was in a very minor position. A THOUGHT FOR TO-DAY, wot, Ta, Is home of a man| named A. Hamburger Stake. Chilpot in thre beyond Skipjack on 0G. T. H | FOOLISHMENT. | 1 cannot am wie wap | T 1 in rope, ‘Aud Jol don't kao why FROM THE CHESTNUT TREE, | Why are they, building so many eatres? don't know they can fillum #0 eastly."* 7 my Dit, Paving taughi@0 Tmmone, Book \ne na-led ‘ee, Original Qhrietense Sohool LOL W, 12500 ot. Tel, Moruingade 060, 4 oneting the whiskers off.” The Day's Good Stories D BE “SEEING THINGS.” HE officer of the day, during his tour of duty, paused to question a sentry who was a new recrult “If you should see an armed party approaching, what would you do? asked tho officer. “Turn out the guard, sir.” “Very well. Suppose you saw a battleship coming across the parade ground, what would you do?” “Report to the hospital for examtna- tion, sir,” was the prompt reply.—Har- per's Magazine. NO DANGER FOR HIM, HE old salt who took small par- tles out by the howr jn bis cocklesholl boat had been much annoyed by the loud and fatuous remarks of ‘Arryy who had come down for the day When just be- yond the mile limit the old wreck began to leak. The boatman, _how- ever, reassured Sr ac cord eee | them there was no danger and was confident that they would reach the shore before the leak developed, "To allay any further fears, he handed around lifebelts, The party consisted of five and there were only four belts. Ee MOVING PICTURE FUNNIES | YES, STUMPY\ WAS CARRYIN' POWDER TO \ TH’ ALLIES SHOT HIS SAIL. \ AWAY— 5 as a Best ow JGUNPOWDER I ny es SS Ite entire length. Then underneath accurately. prising result, (Copyright National Newwpaper Service—Patent AN TH'GERHANS: 6) Applied For.) 4 C7 |, Cut out the picture on all f Fold each dotged When completed turn over and you'll find «# sur- . Then carefully fold dott greta 0 jotted line 1 “Hil Where's mine?” asked the terrified cockney, who had dropped all his cheerful chipping of the old salt. “Don't you worry, my lad!" said the boatman. “You don't need no jifebelt! A feller with an ‘ead as ‘oller as yourn can't sink!"—Chicago News, A GREAT DISCOVERY. TITTLE DORIB Is very polite. The other day she offered her aunt @ share of her candy. “Will you have a sugared alm ond, Aunt Mary?” she asked, sweetly, at the same time ten- dering the paper bag. “Thank you, I will,” replied her aunt. And as she was particular what she Ate shelA selected a white one. “Auntie,” said little Dorts, “do you know the difference between the pink and the white almonds?" “No, dear,” said auntie with a kind- ly smile, “Well, I'll tell you,” explained Dor- j1s. “They were all pink once, and I sucked all the pink off the white ones. Didn't I do it nicely ?”—Youth's Com- panion, QUITE COMMON, "S strange what interest small boys and girls take in boasting about the possessions ‘of them- selves and families, says the Kansas City Journal. Mollie, aged nine, and Nancy, « year younger, were trying to out- mark each other at this game, and Mollie wa. several points ahead in the contest, “Oh, you should see my mother’s fan!" sho boasted, thinking to make her victory 00 “It's lovely— retoried, So's our garden fence.” WORTH TRYING, TE small boy stood at the garden .% gate and howled and howled and howled. A passing old |lady paused be- side h “What's matter, little man?” she asked in a kindly voice, | “O-o-oh!" wall. ed the youngster, nothing. the “Pa and.ma won't Convright, 1017. by The Drew Uypitehing Oo, take me to the 66 IDN’T you ever run acrost a iRishyree «tee D Mterary guy? asked Lu 1 id bn'h make aaah nate! eile, the waitress, of the the dame admonishing! we they |frlendly patron, y ‘0 : ever take you when you cry like| “Yes, I know several,” he replied, that “Well, then, you'll get my dialogue leormmennetimes they do, an'—an' |when I say they are several kinds," ithe poet dart fagon't! ener she went on, “Just now Iam alluting, ye ‘Answers to the kind who lets their literary — temperamentals go to their head, One HE GOT HIS WISH, of that section was In here a while HB conjugal dispute waxed loud|ago, and, honestly, one might ‘a’ and furious, Mrs, Blank sald, |thought he was Edgar Alton Pope or “Yes, yes, it was so!” and Mr. |some of those other six-cylinder ones, Blank sald, “Pooh! pooh! In the end came tears, Blank fell to re ‘l was r of your old let- |P | ters, Jam only to-day,” she sobbed, | 0! j"and you said in dt that rather live in endless torm than tn bliss by you Well," grunted Blank, got m: wish,”—dMiwaukee Free Press, la Then Mrs. | It was n Glove’ he asks CLEAN “THe caR! \'M GONNA Go OUT AND EVERY RUB MAKES HER CLEANER “THEY SAY To SOFTEN THE MUD WITH WATER Wednesday, July 11, 1917 s By ©. M. Payne IN ANOTHER HAVE HER AS A WHISTLE ! MINUTE {LL CLEAN AS Cy - GEE- SOME OF THESE MUDDY PLACES ARE HARD “To GET aT! ¢ [boo, I found all he ever wrote was narrating called ‘Helen's for tho Imalgamated Taxt privers' Gazette, Instead of picking ut his poison like a passable cttizen, first if I ever write, “Only on every third Tuesday,’ I ply. I saw 1 had to stop him, They ag an old fellow with long Grandpa ater short | whiskere down the counter getting tmpatiepce because I hadn't dropped over and said ‘Good morning, aweet- heart!* to him. Some of them ts that way, you know. The older th the more they got to be pet make their ham and hen fruit resto in pacifico, Well, this literary pump kin don’t like my rally to his bequest “No, he says, ‘I mean it, Don’ you ever try any Uterary presuits? “I'd like to more frequent,’ I tell! him, ‘but they don’t furnish us with any typewriters in this starve-and- grow-cranky jolnt. If I had a type- writer no doubt I could knock out a love story between victim: “1 write! he volunteers, ‘I'm on the Imalgamated Taxt Drivers’ Ga- I'm chief contributor.’ zotte, “Good morning, Chief!’ I says, ‘To what Indian tribe of wampums qo you belong?” t t “TL mean,’ he says, ‘that 1) write i them a tale every month.’ “Gimme the name of that publica- tion again,’ I says, ‘I want to mem- ortize it so as not to be buying it by ageident.’ "Bo sensible!’ says he. ‘Now, here T am stalled with a story. I got a tale about pretty girl who goes out nto a raft and blamed if I know how to get her back to shore.’ “‘Sorry, but I can't assist you,’ I tell him, ‘I can't swim,’ “‘Porget it!’ he states, ‘What shall I do? “‘Ain't you got a rowboat?’ little me, “No, is his rejointer, | had the Villain swipe it in the first chapter. And there's Delphine out onto the raft. How will I get her out of her delemma? Why not take a eraser and rub her out? {s my rather witty reply. “At last I see I've got his Nanny. He gets quite mad. as much help to a novelist as @ fifth leg would be to a donkey,’ he sn Zs a ou ought to know ull about tie rst aids to donkeys; I saya, * your name, Bray? bok pag “It stopped him, eats in silence and w y and solitude oe ety ee worth he goes out very hd; and grand-dame lik barnes disrupted literary guy!” Writing people are peculiar som: times,”” diye comment “They sure are—especi; hey brag,” anid Lucie. Pet Ween tl a returned she lowered her voice and "I got a ttle orte home that I penned jast called ‘Emily and the leeberg*” est, friend, It's the best stor; run acrost, than anything Ole Henry I'm really some writer w to writing. Ain't that fine ‘You'd be about He ordérs ana in the place afte; he has finished hig if comes Say, but he was ae Was the friendly patron’ this juncture she wi ‘nal story up It's 1 lubelolty It's got more