The evening world. Newspaper, May 8, 1917, Page 18

Frening World Daily Magazine Quite Naturally Willie Didn't Realize His Mistake Until He Looked! On, Excuse Me ,PoP q orf! 1 THousut IT Wu2 YouR and Players By BIDE DUDLEY HE burlesque interests have in- augurated « plan to help the Actors’ Fund, which ts bring- ing excellent results, Without blowing any trumpets Sam Gecrib- ner, General Manager of the Colum~- bia Amusement Company, arranged to have collections of money made by the girls of the troupes in the Co- jumbia “wheel,” Last week, at the Columbia here, the girls mingled with the audience at each performance and, as a result, a total of $1,590.85 was CC — In Buffalo the girls oi another company passed the hat ani took in $1,280. inte plan is used but one week in each of the Columbia houses, and Mr. Scribner ts receiving the collections and by the end of the week he expects to have about $30,- 000 for the fund. He is confident that burlesque will turn in more money than any other branch of the theatrical business, CHARLEY HARRIS JOKES. Charley Harris was in the box of- fice at the Longacre Theatre yester- day afternoon when a man stepped Us to the window and asked: “Can you tell me where ‘Our Bat- ters’ is playing?” Charley realized the man meant “Our Betters,” but he saw an oppor- tunity to joke, #0 be did. “Our tters,'" said he, “should bt Playing at the Polo Grounds to- “You seo,” said Charley, explaining his action later, “a fellow doesn’t got * chance like that more than once a year, Wasn't I lucky?” HELEN LEVI 18 LONELY, Helen M. Levi of No, 164 East Bighty-fourth Street has written a poem called “Life.” It's @ plaintive Uttle thing, assembled like this: BY WAY OF DIVERSION. The robin redbreast'’s back again to chase the festive worm, and with the bird has reappeared the blamed spring fever germ. The apple buds are out again; the pansy's on the job. My appetite’s all whetted to ‘ack corn on the cob, I've eaten ten- der radishes, and they we! te’ Gee n , SAY “Doc. FoLeY” IT GuRE and lettue new and onto: joined th pring food line. This garden truck bas caused my heart “Ook Nou A DAWGONE LONG “TiME “TO Mat “WHAT ~BIRDS “TOSTH Y'SEE HE MARRIED TH ONLY “GiRt xX EveR LoveD! 5~— with happiness to throb, but how I yearn to welcome back my friend, corm on the cob! ‘The day it comes i know I'll feel like greeting it with vheers and probably I'll eat eo much ill get it in my ears. I love to bait ny line again and see the bobbin bob, but spring’s not spring for me until I get corn on the cob, OH, HATTIE, LOOKIT! Fearlessly heading his contribution “Poem,” Philip B. Dooner, our West Ninety-seventh Street correspondent, as immortalized Hattie Burke, of ile LAttie Widow! the Astor. Hiold your borses- av diminat A delightful ° om wa) om eweet kind, & tinw little form divine, A Girl that's bard wo find, a A ot eee genet we un Te rescet Mow Mattie Burka, Delightful girl! ‘CELLIST TO ACT. GOSSIP. ] An announcement states that Hans| W. C. Fields, eccentric juggler, bas|{) A Rh WV - ae oo — — Kronold, ‘cellist, has been engaget| been engaged for the new “Follies,” | ARE YOU AN YTHING LIK SB for the leading role in the new mu-| Charles (Chic) Sale, now in —— — Sl ms as : ed sical play, “The Mystery of Life,” by! Passing Show of 1917," is to be starred — the Rev. J. F. X. O'Conor, which/ some day by the Messrs. Shubert as — — — aa Daniel W. Losee will produce shortly: Maxine Elliott is sponding a week ee in Washington prior to sailing fo: COME ON JOE — Aw No! Gee 1was)|| WANTA COME OVER N ---- No. 1'm ed , HE HAD HER ALL WRONG. England LET'S GoTo ps “To THE CLUB AND ALL (nstobhd = eae a ~~ Comrriaght. 1917, Prose Publishing Ce (W. ¥ Rrsoing Werte, Lucile the Waitress _By Bide Dudley Copyright, 1917, by the Pree Publishing Co, (The New York & JOE? 7 jening World), Mile, Camille Personl, who has a| Wallace Munro has been made YP TILL ELEVEN > . T- x ' r ee EVER in my life," said Lucile, | one of those barnyard laughs. “Thi Japanese singing act, is small and hag|COMPany manager of “The Substi Movie Tonay! LAST NI ; HEAR A LECTURE /) OVERWORKED') I) say O @ LITTLE WALK the waitress, to the friendly | there's a kind of corn bread," he eape, black hair. A Baltimore newspaper. ute, erhioh will open in Pittsburg! 3 GHT DRILLING} oN GARDENING | aio HOME EROM “THE ME FOR “THE. patron, “did I ever have|, “It brings a collection of merriment 1 ho saw her act the other da: , HSS f TH I She Cine ee ee eran to interview her, OS the| Julian kitinge swith “Cousin Lucy,” WITH THE BoYs'! - STATION Today ? EY ED—- such @ cankerous time as J did in| go, ha ha bunch. ‘He's @ chate manager of the theatre took him|4fler @ profitable Western tour, ii oo Beatin re) 10M TODAY ¢ “TROLL nere ths morning, They was a Ne Raa ais sa fehind. the scenes and he met the|£one into the Blackstone, Chicago, Lalenenns rueben glue in here and it took, all ‘Tm a fara hands ee “Well, you know and I know that such dictum 1s only going to inetie laughter. At last 1 got tt through his n >gein nas We ain't got any Johnny 46 0 . 't been | °#ke and he setles down to meat | A farm band that hasn't been poatoes. When the time ona te | trained into eatiquette,” she replied. | 0 |" don't know how he ever got here, | nn Cneon Toa’ find it, but he certuinly was a plough de- |", 93} check? serter, Abvut 10 o'clock 1 look up bank ese aerene: ‘I ain't got no from drawing & cup of Java and, OW ets tne tor me to ald iim, T got take the from disgracing the place tor ever) and anonymous.” “What's a rueben glue?” asked the friendly patron. ; for a run, actress in costume, . “Howdy doody!" said the news-|,,Patsy, the white poodle actor 1 paperman. “You gettee lots of money| “love O' Mike,” has returned to | seg ae work after a ‘week of too much ue “yy | marshmallows, eral” Toten pine: Porecet My) “Fcthel Clifton opens next week in “why, I—I thought your name|ber own playlot, indy -Buay~At- was Chee Yama and that Persont was| Home," under the management of asped the young man,| Lewis & Gordon, "replied she. “My| Adele Rowland and Melville Rose now will preside at the cook book booth at the Actors’ Fund Fair, No PEP! a ('M “TIRED OUT - sa and beholder, there he sets as bik as | yw |}ife, all dressed in overhauls, Jonnny- Wampus, the bua boy, to juuipera and other such farmer ail- U8) % Cap outside. Then I | ments, Also, he's got his cap on ith vou ‘i | “Phe first thing that depresses me, “ior CA jis the cap thing. We got @ sign on), Als 5 ” he sings out, and away }the wall, as you know, that says b Pe ie gets the cap and comes Gentlemen will remove their hats; Pack, but the remainders of bis meat others must.’ So when I lignt before #24 potatoes has gone hash-wards. said rueven glue I point to the cap gives & grunt of temper and and give him the ‘nix’ head shake tr owdy do!’ he says. ‘What's ist have been a funny fellow,” suggested the friendly patron, OUR OWN POPULAR SONGS. A THOUGHT FOR TO-DAY. slue: “There goes a fellow witepered low, They're still sleeping under blankets in New England, but what of it? | FOOLISHMENT, m | | = up? § FROM THE CHESTNUT TREE. Z | “Well, old friend and fellow cltiz nny plied Lucile, “Say, he Reformer—Friends, I am here tc ese se od ema — — - eee }1 wisht you da’ seen the ot funny he was screamingly | save the girls of this town, 2 ' } y Z victims grinning at me, One of caste ee st jomme give you Man's Voice © a blonde, Ee Joe? The 2 ~ . says: ‘Who's yer friend, Lucile” an’ “other slab of bread. You got a ap» : e me @ blond SEE Jo& ¢ THE CORNER: ? that got my angora seven ways from like @ wild animal from the River of Doubtless to-day,” will you, Professo: 2 : the jack. However, I couldn't take my revenge out on anybody but said rueben glue, 80 I says: ‘Ain't you afrald you'll get bald?’ ‘Naw,’ he tells me, ‘They ain't nobody in our family bald, but old Uncle Anse is gray and bushy,’ “More laughs from the other vic-| s! So I says: ‘What about that HEY Joé ! Did Y'SEE WHERE AND WE CAN GET IN AN MY BALL WENT ? ‘ ‘ * ) Ss 2S ——————— _G < od = t Ofc § HouR oR so! WHY BROWN LEFT. “Oh, yes, sir,” she replied, “Wot 1| ——-—— M" BROWN had not a very) *\ys ™ ne rw s be kind t the| GREAT! \ NY at . opinion of taatindion te thie "eave cies! ur! It waves yer ‘ar You KNOW } f aco his be-| — ME! x (LL MEET You wiTH THE ny me eighty cents down at} he reverberates. cat, Of BACON AND EGGS. at time I'm stultified with | he re y one wh ARGARET is a three-year-ol ° n't you take it off? T says, | would be dumb anima whose parents are for r » you got paraletics in tho; @M, would be kind to human creatur ; ; | and he hastened to commend her ac- acon and eggs and Marg ie gets me and off comes the has ber share. One day in the coun cap, ‘Whar kin I put it so's nobody Uons. “J'm glad to see that you give all; try she heard, for the first time, a raps to the cat, Mrs, Migt | hen cackle ‘Oh, mot does tie SUPERFLUOUS HAIR (“210 2282540 a, 0 wn can't git it? he asks . form, ct “Again the big laugh comes from the dispeptics nearby, But no won- CO der! Did you get the ax he used | in his grammar? I him ona! TOPS AND BANDS ARE CURVE CUT thi laimed, “what look, ‘Mister,’ I says, ‘you can hang PAINLFSSLY AND PERMANENTLY REMOVED ay! arereeret ae not understan it on a hook on yon wall, If any TO FIT THE SHOULDERS, 2 fer 300 Th 1 and after a moment's p: b r . ‘ ie ELECTROLYSIS The ny tenes ought she cane moms avs p poay steals that thing I'll bite you CLUETT, PEABODY 4.CO.INCMAKERS _—_——————— that will positively give per nt relief,| “And what does she say, mo Comaultatios ee, y, 4 " | “He finally h gs t a | a Wanue Grevley 25, (Note of eddowes, ‘ — - . Nie, ) lay@ bacon?" —Judge, eee ee 5 ww & Nobody of that name comes in eure, the stenderd BN Semarigts 1817, rroge Pybtaning Sot, X. Bventng Wer! leeret Peet Uac name. games. 10 vette Pee. \ i iY oe