The evening world. Newspaper, May 8, 1916, Page 12

The Eve ning World Daily Magazine, :-Monday, May 8, roTé ESTABLISHED BY JOSEPH PULITZER. Pavite! Daily Except Supe dy the Press Publishing Company, Now. 58 to 63 Park Row, New York. RALPH PULITZER, President, 63 Park Row. J, ANGUS SHAW, Treasurer, 63 Park Ro’ JOSEPH PULITZER, Jr. Secretary, 63 Park Row, Entered at the Post-OMce at New York as Second-Class Matter. @ubscription Rates to The Evening; For England and the Continent and All Countries in the International Postal Union, ' World for the United States a and Canada. One Year. One Month. VOLUME 5 $3.50]One Year. .30/ One Month. «NO. 19,984 ONLY ONE WAY. EPORTS indicate that among the Mexican “bandits” who made’ R another raid over the American border, killing three United’ States cavalrymen and a boy at Glen Springs, Texas, were! Carranza soldiers on the loose who shouted Viva Carranza! or Viva Villa! indiscriminately. It becomes increasingly plain that signing agreements with Car-| Tanza gives no guarantee of safety to United States citizens, even on the eoil of their own country. Nor does it clear up the question | against what sort of Mexicans Americans must be ready to defend | themselves. Villistas are avowed enemies. Carranzistee are beyond control. How is Uncle Sam to protect himeelf on the Mexican border, except by troops and plenty of them? The Glen Springs and Boquillas raids give grim point to the views expressed by a Phoenix (Ariz.) editor as to how large the United States Army should be: “Because of our long and intimate knowledge of the Mex!- | can border and the Mexican in general, we believe,” declares this editor, “there should be not leas than 600,000 men in our army.” How long does Congress mean to dawdle over the Army Reorgan- ization bill while Gen. Funston is handicapped by shameful lack of forces and Mexicans of all sorts are free to loot and murder on our side of the line? ——_—- + -___— There is plenty of work for expert mediators right here {n the industrial circles of the country. No need to apply else where. te - ALMOST A TRAGEDY. HEN the police undertake to stage a gun drama in public | W they should at least make sure that every policeman in the) audience knows he is at a play. The highwayman act performed at the police manoeuvres Satur- day, in the course of which a supposed gunman fought off a handful of bluecoate and fired blank cartridges at a police dog, would have been a great success if a pgliceman nearby, who didn’t know the secret, | had not feared for the ane of the Mayor and sent a solid bullet full in the face of the bogus thug. At the same time another policeman, also ignorant of the real nature of the affair, rushed up and struck his disguised comrade in the neck with his club. The demonstration of police efficiency was convincing. Luckily the unfortunate actor-policeman was not dangerously hurt. He might easily have been killed, however, not to speak of the peril of bullets flying wild in a crowd, The accident was a singular one, showing the danger of enacting violent drama in eurroundings where it may be taken as reality. No- body should understand the risk better than the police. It was the only regrettable incident during one of tho finest parade and ma- noeuvre days on which the fore has ever enjoyed the deserved ap- plause of the public. a ‘The preparedness parade next Saturday promises to be so big that we wonder {f it's prepared for itself. 4 ——______ CALORIC CATERING. EVEN DOLLARS and thirty-one cents a week will buy food S enough for a family of five in New York City. Experiments carried on during the last two years by the Social Service Department of the Beth Israel Hospital have furnished the Health Department data for the above conclusion. Sample menus and lists of supplies are offered—all based on the carefully worked out theory that father needs about.3,000 calories of heat energy every day, mother can manage with 2,500, while the children will thrive on from 1,200 to 1,600 each. “We have been trying to spread such knowledge for some time,” declares Health Commissioner Emerson. “Certainly this list should prove invaluable to the housewife who is trying to provide a wholesome diet at a limited cost.” We hope it may. At the same time we can’t help sympathizing with housewives who take a pride in catering, not on the calory basis, but on the old-fashioned principle of marketing for what the family likes and what seems to agree with it. “Nobody,” as Bret Harte used to say, “likes to have somebody else taste his lemonade for him.” Folks make some pretty bad mistakes about food. But who wants to be watered and fed like a plant? Hits From Sharp Wits The difference between marriage, there being only seven jokes fn the and lottery is that in @ lottery you| world, have a chance and in marriage you ee merely take a chance.—Nashville| Toll some men they can cure their Banner. cold by drinking cold water and they'll take hot whiskey,—Toledo Blade. * 8 character se i Foolish is the man whi (is BO} fast that he can't see the danger #lg-| , nals.—Philadelphia Telegraph. ‘ ee 8 clean whitewash, never needs People who worry about other . 8 people, are always saying “Don't! It is f Wite man who can recognise im a mistake before made.—Alban; baila eee | Journal, ol One swallow does not make a sum-| * & 8 mer, but one summer makes an awful! You must ‘have observed that ihe lot of swallows.—Deseret News, man who whistles the most usually oe jhas the least to whistle about.—Phil- The eighth joke is that one about adelphia Telegraph, Letters From the People Yorkers: That we are like a flock of sheop-—without individual thought or purpose (save the desire for pleasure and money), and without the moral courage to right civic wrongs. Otber- Motor ‘To the Editor of The Evening ‘Tre Evening World seems to be al- most alone among newspapers in its condemnation of the daily slaughter| wise these daily street killings would of human beings in our streets by|long since have ceased, 1 believe in automobiles, As you show in a re-|retribution and In the law of com- cent article, 659 persons were killed| pensation, by which every good act in streot accidents in New York City) meets with its reward, and every base during 1915—chiefly by automobiles.| act it) punishment. And so I believe| There were also thousands maimed,|that those of us—private citizens as | Men Who Fail “ve got a few dollars ahead. By Roy L. look at that drawer’ cried Mra, Jarr, and she came over to where Mr. Jarr was laboriously selecting a necktie for the day from & very large assortment of cravats that were not good enough to wear and were too good to throw away. The kind you have in quantity. “Are you going to wear that blue sult again?” she next asked, eyeing him askance, “Why, I suppose so, seeing I have It on,” replied Mr, Jarr. “Well, it's a aight!” said Mrs. Jarr. “How do you get your clothes in the condition you do? Why don't you wear the aray suit?” “Where is it?” spiritiessly. “It's hanging in your closet. Where else should it be!” was the reply. “Oh, you may look surprised. It wouldn't be in the closet unless I had put it there. You leave everything lying around for me to pick up. One would think I had nothing to do all day long but to follow you around, picking up after you. For goodness’ wake! Get the other suit and don’t wear that blue suit again till it's cleaned, It’s all spots and it needs pressing! Mr. Jarr went over to the closet that was supposed to be for his own apparel exclusively, and fumbled helplessly among a hanging mass of skirts, kimonos and other confidential garments belonging to Mra, Jarr. “1 can't find the gray suit, dear,” he said, finally. “Of course you can’t find it! You want me to wait on you! Upon my word you give me more trouble than the children!’ Mrs, Jarr then flounced over to the closet and with agile hands and X-ray eyes quickly solved all its pyateries, ‘Oh, yes,” she said, “I remember now; I gave it to @ man for some enamelware things. You couldn't wear it again,” “It's evident I can't wear tt again if the ‘I cash-clo'-for-kitchenware’ man hag it,” remarked Mr. Jarr, re- aignedly. “Well, it's a good thing somebody got some good out of it. You weren't wearing {t, and it wae only hanging fn the closet attracting mothe, Oh, dear! What will 1 do with the man?" Mr, Jarr could not solve this ever- lasting question for his good lady, but was working as expeditiously as asked Mr. Jarr many being rendered cripples for life.| well as officials—who fail in the ‘The fact that this condition can exist! duty toward controlling this bh is sufficient proof of the validity of a/ will each pay in some way for clam that is often leveled at New! neglect. ors that ac. he could on himself with the whisk- broom, He had done fairly well with Bimeelf ip front, but bie efforts to The Jarr Family McCardell Copyright, 1916, by The Press Publishing Co, (The New York Evening World), 66 ILL you never learn to keep/ reach around behind and brush off| ¢¢ W your things in order? Now, | his own back were pitifully helpless. “Why don't you go in the hall to brush yourself?" "You dust. drop on the carpet.” Mrs, Jarr did not pursue the inquiry as to who had been “at them. do come to breakfast! everything back!” she cried, saw @ man #0 fussy about his clothes!"” There ts merit without elevation, but there is no elevation with- out some merit.—ROCHEFOUCAULD, asked Mrs. t everything full of lint and And how did all that lint get on the back of your trousers?” “I bung them on the back of the chair last night,” replied Mr. Jarr, “Bomebody was at them and let them i | | guess I'll take the surmmer off.” The Office Force | — By Bide Dudley — wening World), | scowl at the boy. “Bobbie,” she said. | ping clerk, as he finished | “You're an idiot. Nobody but a sim- would laugh at a pun like that. sharpening his pencil, * pig ote op oly youngest brother 1s to be married.” “Maybe, replied Bobbie, “but the lives next door to us is/ sald Popple, the sbip- Jarr. “That's nice,” replied Miss Primm,! boy who private secretary to the boss. “Who'e| Worse than I am." he to marry?” an hat do you mean?” Miss Primi demanded, “Her name is Fay King. She lives!" “ti.'s Snyder, in Canada somewhere, but 1s here on 1y, kid, that's a pippin," came PP: a visit.” from the blond, You"'re a snide and “Does she love him?" s Snyder. Here's a big apple tor blond stenographer. asked the} you And the stenographer gave Bobble an apple. You phon He sume ale'doea when tue ease aes Pe fe i 6 e ‘one face t “T never ‘Maybe she's faking,” suggested) said Miss Primm quietly, ue Bobbie, the office boy, solemnly, She does, too,” answered Bobbie. Miss Primm turned and shot a said the ‘Thank you, Bobbie! she Knows one joke, anyhow,” vie continued, “I seen her with 1 on Broadway yesterday. He @ T romance. True Love can be no deeper than your capacity for friendship, no higher than your ideals, and no broader than the scope of your vision. True Love, in the cave man, is expressed by a desire to beat a woman, and to pull her around by the hair. True Love, in the Broadwayite, is expressed by an insatiable craving to buy things for a woman. True Love, in the poet, is expressed in soul kisses, and by his in- ability to do any work for days at a time. True Love, in @ husband, is expressed by his willingness to give his wife anything, from the tenderest plece of steak to a divorce, if it will make her happy. True Love, in a bachelor, is exemplified by his willingness to marry a woman—against all his instincts, his sense of self-preservation, and his better judgement. True Love, in a born flirt, is evidenced by his inability to think of any other woman while he is kissing @ particular one, | way, I dou True Love, in a college boy, is expressed by his ability to think of some- body besides himself for a whole hour at a time. | True Love, in an author, is demonstrated by his self-restraint, in re-| ! opy” out of a love-affair, True Love, in any man, Is the essence of unselfishness—and the most selfish thing in the world. pie It is the selfishness that transcends selfishness; the vanity that puts) bay Ku fusing to make egotism in the shade. It is the flash of light, by which one sees clearly that to do for another, True Love-—-How to Know It.) —By Helen Rowland.— Copyright, 1010, by The Prem Publishing Co, (The New York Eveulng World), RUE LOVE is nothing but friendship, highly intensified, sentiment, spiced with passion, and sprinkled with the stardust of wore high-water pants, a yellow vest and @ wrist watch. He was the big- gest joke I ever saw ‘Thank you, Bobbie!" Primm, 4Y, you little boob, you!” M Tillie. ‘almost shouted “ad. the ee What do you mean by talking about 2 4 friend of mine like tha Vil have “\you know that man came from one of the oldest families in America.” “Maybe,” replied Bobbie, “but hie clothes 7 He looked lke five sold Miss flavored with | ven him, Ui just eat this myself,” she saic this morning,” said Spooner, the bookkeeper, “Why quarrel? It only makes lls unhappy! Bobbie, hadn't you better apologize to Miss’ Tillie?" ‘Sure,’ replied Bobbie, « sorry.” si sg 'd Spooner, that wrist-wateh a funny little fel- sometimes,” said Miss is,’ snapped looks as le funny, do 17” poretary. t have hair up and , MM, tut!" suid Spooner. comes the boss, pleasant.” ) matter how it hurts," Bobbte | s came In smiling. “Say, the | funny as “Oh, ‘I |the private iook 0 12" replied “Well, an to Keep doping ayy “Quiet! Everybody leven my mother, warned me of the Jin a downtown building wholly gi a | A Strange Test. ee . wT) Plots of Immortal Fiction Masterpieces _————_—_—_—_—_—_—_—_—_———— By Albert Payson Terhune Coprright, 1016, by The Frees Publishing Os, (The New York Brening World). THE LADY OR THE TIGER? By Frank Stockton. SEMI-BARBARIC KING ruled a wholly barbario land, He had one daughter. She was the heir to his throne, he sought some brilliant matrimonial alliance for.her. But Princess herself had other ideas. She proceeded to fall in love with # handsome young courtier, far Be low her in rank and quite impossible es a husband and future princecom sort. But the Princess was at an age when matters of the heart seem more important than matters of state. She loved the courtier. He ado her. That was quite enough for them both. " The secret romance progressed happily for @ time. But socom @ lovers were rudely expelled from their Fools’ Paradise, Some one their secret and told it to the King. His Majesty went into @ truly regal rage. He was too fond of tis daughter to punish her, but he ordered her lover thrown into prison, and decreed a peculiarly horrible death for him. The Princess implored her father to spare her sweetheart’s life, Taq King, efter many refusals, yielded half way to her entreaties, would not set the imprisoned courtier free, But he agreed to give him an even chance at liberty. The compromise devised by the King was one of the most notable sport« ing events of the day. The lover was brought one morning from his cell and led into a great arena, whose benches were crowded by thousands of onlookers, , The prisoner was conducted to a spot in front of the Royal box, where sat the King and tho Princess, There his guards left sim standing alone, The King, in a few words, explained the ordeal that awaited the captive, In the wall of the arena were two closed doors. Behind one, the King | explained, a lady was waiting. She was young, beautiful and rich, { Behind the other door crouched @ hungry, man-eating tiger. | No one but the King and the Princess knew which door hid the lady and which concealed the tiger, The prisoner was commanded to open one of the doors—whichever one ‘he might choose to open. If he should chance to open the door behind which stood the lady, she would be given him for a wife and all her wealth would be his, If, on the contrary, he should open the door of the tiger's lair, he would die with great suddenness and agony, at the fangs of the ferocious jungle beast. The choice of doors was left entirely to him. ' The luckless youth stared at the two doors, They were exactly alike, There was nothing to guide him, ‘Then he looked up into the royal box at the girl he loved and had lost, The Princess returned his gaze. Her face was deathly pale, but ex« 4 pressionless, As their eyes met, she nodded almost imperceptibly toward one of the door: i: if toe Lowen And he knew that was the door she wished him 4 b . open, i Choice. ‘ He knew also that it would be torture and bitter.’ || humiliation for her to see him in the embrace of an- other woman. Would she prefer to have him live to be that other woman's husband qe to die at once while he still true to herself? The prisoner could not guess what was in the Princess's mind, nor what motive—whether of jealousy or of self-sacrifice—made her nod toward that particular door, Yet he resolved to obey her wish. Striding unhesitatingly to the door, he flung it wide open, Ni Which came forth to meet him-the lady or the tiger? Py Use every man after his deserts, and who shall escape whipping? —SHAKESPEARE. eee Just a Wife--(Her Diary) Edited by Janet Trevor. Copyright, 1916, by The Freas Publishing Co, (The N, CHAPTER X. J 17.—I have been so busy for York Evening World) wera married Why, Ned!" I exclaimed, my votes quivering a little. “You always said that for the first year, ts you would have an off a Surely there's room enough here, with |only the two of us. I won't disturb { ly n you're busy, but you wi | be away a good 4 |looked forward to knowing were near for at least the last two of three days that 1) haven't had time to write an thing. Ned and I have been settling ourselves in New York, After lis narrow escape from drowning neither of us felt like lingering any longer on the Maine coast. So we decided to return at once to the little apart-| ment which he had rented and partly | furnished before we went away, | 1 wonder why it is that the man ertain home ig the best place for a woman inevitably shies at the notion of spending most of his time there, Perhaps it was unreaso able for me to assume that Ned would have his office in our apartment, But he agrecd to this arrangement when we talked about it before we were married. Since he is a doctor, I realized that the hours and times which other women spend with their husbands as a matter of course would, in my case, be disturbed, I think Ned's work of aving lives’ is wonderful, however, and 1 should never dream of taking him away from a mother who needed him for her sick child, to amuse or help me, But when my friends, and y, Mollie,” he satd apole I'd no idea you had y rt 80 set on the thing. I've been at the other address fe! some time, ail my patients are iar with it and I Teally dont eentiiae that it would be a good thing for me to change,” ‘But think of the expense,” Iw You know, dear, we want to ap as little monoy as we can in the nest’ year or two, #o that you can take course of study in Paris, You coma save the rent of your office by brings ing it up here, And Ned, I've thought of something else,” I added eagerly. — | “With study I believe I could take the place t nurse, and save you her salar: You tod me that her duties were quite sime You don’t know what you' ing about, Mollie egrets ear mpatiently, “Miss Duryea has bees with me for several years, and I cere tainly am not going to discharge her. long, lonely evenings a doctor's wife must spend, the engagements she must break—or keep, bearing her husband's excuses—I said, confi-| I'm not so poor that I've got to put dent Yea, but at least Ned will my wite to work as a trained attend. all his mornings at home.” |ant, and the offic ‘ 4 argo Oe utterly, astonished when | me. office rent won't break he told me that his office would You'll he well rid of me," he with a laugh that was a trifle Fens he matter came) “And you'll have so much more a up during the first morning that we! for entertainin You, youll ee spent in our apartment on| enough of m Mt ote Ninoty-first Street, n I asked him | hours ¥ Shen laughingly In which rou he planned | not Joy to hang out his shingle.. We were! unpacking the trunks, and he had announced that he would do no work | for a couple of days ‘Oh,” he said lightly, won't be here.” “But I'll be bound, are from 10 to 1 : the house hotore could see that his mind wa up, and [ aald no more. After aie it is his own business and ihe te pe feetly justified in arranging r | himself nit he did_ promise wd Y | that he would open his ofes at how u're not going to give up| he had a right to change Memon tice and devote yourself to| You won't tell, little diary, tft ace us?" 1 asked wonderingly, [a tear betwoen your pages’ thing we 1," he answered my in-} morning that he has left me aint, quiry over a trunk|I wonder what sort of woman Me” hat } no added: | Duryea is; £ think I'l drop In'ag I've just kept on my bachelor quar-| office, in a day or two. ana Itt | ters. You know-—the suite I had down. | her I'll ask her to come to te: in the Arcadian building before we (To Be Continued.) Facts Not Worth Knowing. By Arthur Baer. “my office ud, “didn't you tell me ‘other is to marry @ girl named } "Yes, | clerk, “Maybe she doesn't replied the shipping ve him—per- | give to another, and sacrifice for another, will get one the most happiness | haps sh faking,’ said the boss, out of life. | And wi ha arin he disappeared in| 5 13 private office, not, however, We speak of “falling in love,” as though it were a pit or an abyss; but| Mise Primm had’ laweheat simoet age | True Love is the light on the mountain-top, to which we must eternally | roto He inane ncn anal t | climb, Ja minute or so, Bobbie glanced shyt True Love {8 a relic of the Victorian Age. [in Abs Vrimm's ¢ ; It still exists, here and there, Itke the buffalo; but in the face of). ty punitive thate heat ua eugentes, feminism, war, and the growing masculine determination not to h, golly,” said the blond. marry, it may some day have to take a place beside the Dinosaurus in the Shut up, both of you!" said Miss Public Museum, mm, ‘Then whe arose and left the yoom, slamming the door, ! Copyright, 1916, by The Proms Publishing Co, (The New York Evening World). Auhough solitary confinement is cruel and unusual punishment Vice President of the United States is elected for four years, A Chinese dime speaks the language all right when dropped into a4 | phone bow. { The European war has not hindered the importation of Russian og from Gooftown, Maryland, More married men than dachelora are fighting in England, which ah what a fearful thing habit is. A gvroscopic stabilizer has becn invented by a Brooklyn man, tached right to the keyhole,