The evening world. Newspaper, September 25, 1915, Page 8

SOTARLASHRD BY JORRrN PULTE Pertianed Matiy Maver: Hunter vy von Viens Bw mune Company, Nes S35 to 4) Fort tow, how Yorn VLATERA Pveettent Nols nae Te, . PULITER Kooreiers Feared ot the Pou-Difice | New York Bubserty ie. te The Brening) Por hee 4 ont the / “ot ont wens tue Be United Bees | Countries in the International enete Pesta! Union VOLUME o¢.. NO. 19,78 ———— som ” ‘ ; IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION. N UMPORTANT STEP toward stray eo 4 Worthless “assets” int et ' dollars of taxes which can bes 1 The Evening World has jong fought game the slovenly fir cing which year after year reckoned bad debts as revenue, i “ porate stock and borrowing money ayaiuet valuer Which exited on the pages of » ledger, When the Hoard of Ketunate ge these fake assets, whick an now do under a elutute last Legislature, the way should be clear for a businesslike lian the city’s tax problem The costly mistakes of the tax department have piled dens apon real estate and upon minor property owners Rea! estate in New York City contributes cent. of all money raised for the annual tax budget. In Chicago realty pays only 14 per cent.; in St. Louis, 64.9 per cent Wealthy corporations holding valuable city franchises ruccess! fight off assessments. heir taxes become lower and lower while th ye levy upon minor property holders increases by leaps and bounds, ‘Toe V total absence of equity in the adjustment of personal taxes is a i} lossal joke, Unless the city faces the facts and corrects the rauk injustice of ite present tax system it is going to suffer. Kvery New Yorker i willing to pay his fair shure of taxes. But if the load continues to be distributed as now it will become unendurable. Thousands stantial citizens will tire of oppression and take their busine belongings elsewhere. sub. aub-| “8 and | It ds reported that 460,000 Armenians have beon put to death. (Has Christendom a tear or shudder Jeft? UNARMED POLICEMEN. | HE shooting which fatally wounded two policemen at the Me-| . T Manus ball in Manhattan Casino early yesterday morning was! an affair of a sort that used to be common at big political ouc-| ings in the city. Affrays of this type are fewer than formerly, But) they still occur. The amazing circumstance in the Harlem fight was that while the thugs had plenty of revolvers the police on hand had not evea their blackjacks. Police rules require policemen to carry revolvers and blackjacks at all times. If this rule had not been violated the two policemen attacked might Mave shot first and captured all or inost of their assailants. There is a law in this city againat carrying or possessing weapons, | 1¢ appears to be enforced mainly against women who keep a revolver in the drawer as a protection against burglars, Gangsters and pro- fessional murderers carry all the guns they need for their trade. After a street fight shooting irons lie about as plentiful as buttons. The Sullivan iaw is an excellent law. The fact remains that thugs are as well armed as ever. | No policeman is a policeman hereaboute without his revolver. rte Jobn D, jr. is tangoing with the miners’ wives in Colorado and John D, sr. has just arrived in Tarrytown “in particularly g00d humor, One cheerful, thrifty family, anyhow. A TIP TO CURRENT RESEARCH. T SHOULD rejoice the pacifists to note how war and diplomacy retreat from popular discussion and leave philology in possession Could anything be more peaceable than poring over a dictionary ? As the debate now tends, “idiotic Yankees” in the original Ger-} —< or mee! A germane The Wee it, 1818, by the Wross Mublisbi 66QQOME income tax the British S Government 1s slipping to the subjects of His Majesty,” remarked the head polisher, “It's w big tax,” said the laundry | Man, “and there is this about it—the Government will collect the tax from every person lable under the law, There is no evasion over there such disgraces certain sections of this untry . “Tho United States officers charged With the collection of the income tax ought to send @ representative over to England to observe the way King aman begins to look like an appellation’ of wistful, clinging affection. Who knows? Offensive epithets easily become terms of endearment. All depends upon tone, circumstance, look, You can call a man any | Tie same Goorge’s tax gatherers get theirs, shakedsoa mothods aps piled in this free, glorious and tax- evading republic would be a big help thing if you smile, Soft, reminiscent fondness may have hoamed | AWUne to Uncle Bama bankron from the Captain's eye as lie pened the words! pathy, bul Ghere io une elags in Eng: The most obvious equivalent for “bloedsinnige,” has, however, ilar te art pred 4 ’ Me Us escaped von Papen’s commentators. Blocdsinnige, as the Captain! Americans who have Kone weed it, is nothing more or less than the Hnglish “bully.” Nobody ever) iim, Wo len, ta renons wel iy knew what an Englishman meant by “bally,” but on the other hand, | Atiantic, but discuss very freely abr ——By Martin Green —— nobody ever got much excited over what he might mean by it. Define “pally” and you have aaafe, working substitute for “bloedsinnige.” Meanwhile, in the name of national research, a vote of thanks to Capt. von Papen for refusing to be a glossary to his own letters, Hits From Bome people am always in trouble because they catnot restrain them- @elves from speaking right out what- ever comes into their heads. ee ‘The reason Time and Tide wait for fo man is because they couldn't do it i maintain 4 regular schedule.— ‘oledo Blade. pas fet A bad actor ts a fellow who ta egged on by ambition and egged off by tho Sudlence—Pittsburgh Press. A acientist announces that kissing tx | Letters Fr Are” > Be Biltor of The Brening World: ‘Will you please advise through Your paper which is grammatically : ‘There are not enough sheep in the Wnited States, or, There is not enough gheep in the United States? R. A. COONEY. An Apple Problem, the Béitor of The Evening World: ‘The following problem was sub- fe me but I,could not solve 5 om the People Sharp Wits. @ sign of insanity, And lote of folks ure crazy about it.-Macon Telegraph pei hee A horse show t# a place where tho women show the horse that he has no show. * 8 Habit ts something which the per- son who han it strongest imagines could broak at any time if he wanted to, but never does. eo. In every small town there is at teast one family that imagines It t# proving the blueness of its blood by living ail by ftaelf—-Albany Journal same, Am therefore writing you for ® correct anawor “IL bought wixty apples and sold thirty apples ut three for 1 cent and balance of thirty apples at two for 1 cent, the result bene 10 cents and 15 cents, aggregating % cents. The next day I buy sixty apples and sold at the rate of five apples for 2 conta, instead of three for 1 cent and two {for l cent, The result attained would be 24 cants for the lot of apples. Why the 1 cent difference botween the two sales?” Thanking you in advance for your [nd sewer ia Orvick FORCE.” ‘oud, |"Bngland 19 well populated with | Americans who have gone there be- |eause they are too lazy to work, and ‘living there up to the time of the | war was much cheaper than in the United Statos, These Americans wil be hard hit, but the deepest anguish ‘will be suffered by Americans who jare living in England because they r ye the people who tell you 1 meet them In London, o thing so delightful about living heah, The lower clawsses know their place and the servants are re spectful.’ | visited one of these Amer- in London a few |when y | ‘There is yeare ago. His only servant wos a harrow shouldered, stooped little girl About sixtoen or Seventeen years old who built the fires, scrubbed the floors, Washed the dishes, waited on table, shined the family shoew, acted 14 maid (o her mistress and changed wr or five times a day from ico dress to a black matd’s nd back again three or f a grimy ¢ outfit and whi ‘The wad of ¢ living on an derived from | American securities and wag more | Puglish than the English themselves. | He swelled with pride when a street | beggar took off his hat to him. I'd kive a few dollars to be around these days and hear thin party and othor Americans like him exp lopinion about the new income tax and its effect on the ‘lower clawates.’” oy va | | Osborne of Sing Sing | Prison,’ remarked the head polisher. |" sys," said the laundry man, “but ‘he's bard to catch, Firet we read about him being up in the Adirondack Mountains delivering addresses on after Warden Thomas Mott mo] e renee k’s Wash 2 Co, (The Now Yor Hvoning World the management of convicts, Next he is in Albany or Aubura or Port Choster or New York or some other point remote from Ossining. “If the State Superintendent of Prisons is really anxious to force Osborne out it should be an easy matter, The position of Warden and Agent of Sing Sing Prison Is one of the most ing in tho State service, A Warden applying himscit conscientiously tw following the rules n't have time to put his head © the prison doors. ‘They ne id any difficulty about giving a Sing Sing Warden the bum's rush before.” [ewe oe | This Way Out. 66] SHE." sald the head polisher, hat Prof, Wirt, who is about | to reform our aehool system, kaya hoe can cut down t ehing forgo Ww ohi dren u y " faundry man, all the time nY School teuch- Le » and we won't need « ers at all.” T is autumn, O14 Sol ts get- ting further away from us every minute, This, week fall 1s ushered in officially, and you, gentle reador, what are you going to do about it? Have you put vacation lures into tho background, stay worked harder than ever tn sizzling weather and with unceasing sweat of your brow lost all interest in the to-morrow that always comes? Well, then, it 1s Ume to say forget the regret of 1, Bring out your old Ambitions and your new hopes and brush them up, You can't tell—your opportunity may meet you somewhere between this and next week, of a Rew scuson—a things. If you have had a “grouch" against your neighbor, when next you meet him just speak to him as though nothing ever happened, It will make you feel better for the rest of the a It is the dawn tune TO DO ay, if you just can’t see how you are going to turn over that deal, take a brisk walk In the park and somewhere out of the ozone the solution will come to you. Most of the time tt is the physical unfitness that builds cobwebs in your brain, If your domestic life has been un- happy all summer give ft @ new trial; maybe your wife's tenyper was sorely tried during the hot spell. If you bave bean unable ad here and} cwetes, The Cali of the Fall By Sophie Irene Loeb. Copyright, 1015, by the ress Hublishing Co, (The New York Brenig World), By J. H. Cassel Magazine. Saturday. Septemb ——By R rant, 10S, t sald of them fellows talking about selling war ammunitions.” “phey are all neutral; they don't care whet army they kill by selling things to it," suggested Mr. Jarr. “Sure,” replied Gus. and I don't care whit “ym neutral, too, happeas so long as Germany Kets the best of it, Jar first, 1 put up a sign what said, ix on the War Tall But thot sign was just as good for nothing as the sign I used to have on the clock when it didn’t work, 'No Tick Here!* Also you remember that sign that you see over th —and Gus pointed a fat forefinger—"“that sign as you will remember when you K nt it Not Ask for Credit and Will Not Bo Rofusedt lavinsky can brew a pane of glass after he put it in and he ain't got paid for it, and walk away Uke xentieman, Bepler can snatch @ beet- steak from a customer and hit the vacation and feel down in the dumps about it, tike it now--every day, Get into some good physical game that will make you strong. Go to @ Piay occasionally, even if f be only @ “movie.” It will take you out of your- self, and perhaps give you courage to t your difficulty, y e sick to death of the caro of th hold housework go to the park to a And, above fellow who s “in a hundred years from y it will noc make any dif- ference.’ i ke the mon whe talle you to “cheer up" when you have @ note to meet to-morrow, He it is who spends everything and saves nothing, He It ts who telle you to t what you Want when you Want it” without counting the cost. He It is who waits unt] to-morrow to do the work of to-da: He it !s who bids you be merry while Rome is burning, He it 1s who tells you to “grin and deur” your pain when all you need ts @ little real sympathy which he with- holds, He it is who wav verything aside and shirks responsibility, Ho ts al! wrong; for everything you do not only makes @ difference in a hundred years from now—to others— but makes or mare YOUR happiny jong before the century mark. And, above all, beed the call of the her, let some of the nd take the children to bavepa’ fall scatters aay “amen scgpatasaiasttis aasnaccsiisisniciicniaiiliaiit ite CN ELL TL NL TCL TT nT Rae Is} ¢ children and the house- | The Jarr Family oy L. McCardeil —— Brewing World ie head with it if the say's to charge It, if he wants Flut if 1 should gust say one word and break anything on a customor's head what hangs me up, I may hurt his feelings, and thon he never would pay me for spite, In this business you have got to be very careful who it is you insult; only your best cus- tomers will put up with it, and that's why 1 think I will go in the war am- munitions business Iike everybody else has in New York City “Has everybody in New York City gone into selling munitions to the ne nations?” asked Mr, Jarr, “I didn't know it.” “Well, Jest you lsten, he aidled down behind th to, id Gua, and bar to where | What Every Woman Thinks By Helen Rowland er 1 te Ge Prem Patties Oe (ie New Tore ironing Wert, On the Probleme That Loom in the Fall, Tra-la! BUPPORE,” sighed the Widow, as with fatioring (after two months’ absence) she dropped the ususl © jumps to the Bachelor's toa, “that everything will be ferent in heaven.” “Not EVERYTHING, | hope.” protested the Bachelor, with « property apprectative glance at ber piquant profile beneath the distracting brews curls way,” he insisted, shrugging her tulle shoulders, “we won't heave ely bachelor fate” ing hou my bow bor io stuffy kitchenette apartmenta, por in deadly suburban bungalows,” finished the Widow “And that's the only choiee we bave this world Of course,” she continued, musingly, #lirring her teu, “there is no practical reason tn thie Golden age of feminine ) Opportualty why a girl SHOUL ry, and yet" eet, Sot more than once of twice, agyhow,* put in the Hachelor hasttt ! wonder why tycy always do? Surely ft can't be that we—that men are eo trreete le? “No, it can't.” agreed the Widow promptly, “In fact, tt ten't be the emotions that bloom tn the spring that drive » man to matrimon: but ite t » me that loom {n the fall that drive @ girl to it simply the problem of living.” | Without working” murmured the Bachelor tentatively enee!" scoffed the Widow orking for a living has long ag? been conceded to be a ample thing beside working o man for a living. ‘mean the problem of HOW to live, Mr. Weatherby, which rises like a joenix (o haunt and torture you and drive you to desperation or a husband ery a in I've tried every coneelvable way, and there ts no such thing ly LIVING--alone. Anybody can exist, but everybody wants to liv | “Then why don't you stop trying,” suggested the Bachelor hopefully, “and take m"— “Now, Mr. Weatherby.” “And take my advice?” finished the Bachelor hastily. Uttle house out In New Rochelle” “Living alone, to a girl or a man either,” continued the Widow, ignoring the deflection, “is nothing but a cholce of being entombed in @ big hotel, where you are suffered to eat three meals a day in a gilded sarcophagus, surrounded by a legion of Greek ‘aptes’”. “And guarded by a French head waiter, who looks as though he wou! (like to see you and the Germay Emperor boiled together tn of," groane! the Bachelor. . | “Or of burying yourself allve in a gloomy boarding house, where they stuff the gas-Jets, as though they knew you would feel like eutciding every | evening after dinner,” continued the Widow. “And where the soup is always cold before you can get hold of the salt and the roast ts always cold befo‘e | they bring the gravy"—— | “And the radiator and the ice water exchange functions.” “There's a cory “Or of pretending to keep house,” finished the Widow, “and doing the ‘Lucullus’ at three meals a day with nobody to argue with at breakfast, nor to walt for at dinner, nor to bring in the newspapers and litter up the den and fill the curtains with nice, horrid clgar smoke and splash up the bathe room and drop asles on the carpete and do all the irrepressible, repre hensible little human things that turn a house {nto a ‘home’ and mere existence {nto real life. That's what {nspires most girls to exchange the attentions of a lot of men for the inattention of one—just the inborn, aching desire to lic + something HUMAN around the how But men don't seem to feel that way"-— “Don't you believe {t.” broke in the Bachelor fervently. “What on earth do you suppose WE marry for? Why do you imagine any man ia willing to forego the flatteries of a lot of women in order to give one woman the privilege of telling him the truth about himself? I'll tell you why. It's just the instinctive masculine rving to have somebody around to spill violet water on the dressing table and scatter scented talcum powder around tho bathroom and litter up the Ifbrary with sewing baskets and flower pots and teacups, somebody to grow! at at breakfast and to have to hurry home to at dinner time, somebody to TIE you to her apron strings or her shoe | strings"—— “That's I!" erled the Widow, clapping her hands triumphantly, “We're all alike, We've got to be TIED to sopebody or else be battered and tossed about like bits of driftwood at sea, Besides, nothing but being roped and tled would make two people put up with one another's foibles for more than a month, and thus far marriage is the only tle that will hold a patr of human beings and a home together.” “Yow, sighod the Bachelor, “it may be hard to swallow, but it seems to be Old Doe Nature's only cure for loneliness, Why don't you try it—just Slavinsky, the glazter, was talking to. once?” Bepler, the buteher and Sehinidt, t! Mr, Weatlerby,” sald the Widow, reproachfully, “haven't I said tha: Celleatessen tan Mr, dare edged p woultn't marry th man tn the world?” down on the outside of the bay ti he “Well,” rejoined the Bachelor, “nobody asked you got within earshot also, “Yes,” Mr, Slavinsky was saying, ‘my yoy Shidney, my! He is making @ million dollars a minute selling roller skates to the Russian army.” “Roller skates” asked Bepler. “Sure! My boy Shidney 1s given up being @ cowboy in the moving pic- tures because he can roll a cigarette | off a horse, | with one hand and fal) and now he is relling roller skates to the Ruasian army. He goes down- town every day to Wall Street and talks to Joln W. Iockefeller and P. to marry ‘the best | man in the world Jungle Tales SIP naoon began the Baby for Children She told him, also, that the Whale would spout water out of hia head, fo when Mister Whalo sent a tot of in the air the Bab; boon ventured to say: es How are you, Mistor Wha I'm fine,” sald the Whal nly there Is not enough salt in the ocean,” “I can fix that,” said the Baby Baboon, proudly. have a teaspoon of salt in my pocket, Will that be Baboon one day, “what's a Whale?” “A Whale, my dear, te the largest fish in the ocean. you tried to put salt on the little * enougn?”" J, Morgan and smokes them long bird's tall?" asked his mother. “Surely, Put it in,” sald the Whale. Russtan cigarettes and sells thom Yes; mother, darting. The Baby Baboon put the scit Mm roller skates, Don't Lknow? Ain't I| Well," replied bis mother, “you | the ocoan, to get 10 per cent. hecauso Shidney isn't paying any board and his mom- mer and I have to give him carfare an’ fifty cents every day to tako them Wall Street millionaires out to have a good Ume, for Shidney says tuke some salt and go down by tho ocean and wait for a Whale to come “Now stir it," sald the Whale, and when the little fellow had done so tha Whale spouted a lot of water in the along.” air and it all came down on the Bab: | ‘The Raby Baboon did as ho was| Baboon ltota a ‘strange to relate, along| “Is that enough for yout me Mister Whale, He was so big | asked the that the Baby Baboon knew it must “I don't know,” sald the baby. * he's got to nd money to make] pe the tish his mother told him about. lask my mother, % money.” “I've seen him smoking a@ long ‘esis ctwarette," sald Schmidt, the delicates-| sell them—twenty millions of roller ‘What will they use glass for’ sen man. “My, uch a long| skates my boy Shidney suys he will asked Mr. Jarr, cigarette! sell—but first he needs thirty dollars} “Well, you see." Mr. Slovinsky ex- “That's it!” exclaimed Mr. *Slav-|to smear the Grand Duke Mike." plained, “when the Russian army is insky. “When you smoke them long cixaretios it's a sign you have just been putting @ deal through with the sooret agents of them forelg govern- ments, because them long cigarettes fs made especially for the Czar of Russia and all them grand dukes, ant nobody else 1s allowed to smoke them." “What are they going to do with roller skates?” ssked Mr, Jarr, the scoptic. "What good will roller skates do the Russian army? There are no asphalt roads on the long, long way to Petrograd.” “What do you care what they do with roller skat:, a8 long as you cap Mr. Jarr opened his eyes n+ credulously, and noting this Mr, Slav- ineky remarked: “Sure! Didn't I hear my boy Shidney go right on the tele- phone and call up a bartender who is fa friend of the Grand Duke Mike, and say to him, ‘Tell Mike he can have his thirty dollars if he puts the deal through for the rollor skat my father will lend me the thirty dollars.’ running away on roller skates, they will throw the broken elass behing them, and that will stop the war viter- mobiles of the German army from catching them.” “I don't belleve it!" sald Mr. Jarr, “But look here! Hore ts one of the Grand Duke Mike's clearettes, what has got the Grand Duke Mike's no- bility trade mark on it,” said Mr. Slay. “Hos it a tail? asked the Baby Rabvon, thoughtfully. Are you thinking of the time when “Did you lend it to him?" d) naky, producing a paper cigarette with, @ Russtan eagle printed in gold, from on'* Mr. Slavinaky, “Ain't Inside the sweatband of his battered I to sell glass to the Russian Govern-' old derby. The cigarette was at jeast ment for the army-—two million dol-| six incHes long. What further root lars’ worth of glass?” was needed? P+ f j