The evening world. Newspaper, July 13, 1914, Page 14

A Page of Comics, ‘Fun for the Home Sketches and Stories 4 Ride Home TE a - = - *S’MATTER POP!” For THe cove oF GoopneTH wart a THOILED Doo’ For THe Love of Pete?! D'iD You FALL I Jutd dad vy T3ATH AN GOT CLEAN cloTHe AN' Now fou GOTTA Ci THe THAME Now T3& THTitu Tit. I Ge Look Lite A M DIFFERENT DOG THE MARRYING OF MARY—Pa Would Be Better Satisfied With Less “Class” and More Recognition Shose HE DOES TAKES (/“wat-wHo Ya Nou FoR @ HE-SERVANT }(GONTe | LEMUEL= LOOKIT TH’ CLASS IT GiVES US! MEGBN ‘TWwiLt HELO ALONG TH’ Maren FUST Rete! . HOWD YE Do, MR. CONE WALK RIGHT INTO-TH! I NEVER ‘THOUGHT INTERDOOCE, ABouT THAT, AS HER GA? ‘Aina “aene 0 Sueouine Ya Poor SIMP Sure ay 00! don't ay Sis ica We ony o Ya DON'Y use a * HAVE To LOOK DAS LION IN TELESCOPE IN “THIS HIS EYE ?. ANiman Acct ! Up eeorce ! Axes GOnnA TACKLE He LION “TODAY , WELL We READY In A winuref, MR, FLICKER (S WACTING FOR Yat By Rov McCardell Copprignt. 1914. by The Press Publishing Co, ' (The New York Eveniog World). = .ZAREFF THE OCCULT + Taparied the old man. Is it a pleas po fre to be jimmed to death ond| SO R—HE CHAN @ammed to death? Is it a pleasure to suffocate if you a seat, and FJ bave your clothes torn off you if you fo 7 “But this front car isn't crowded ift movement of the train breeze through it,” said Mr , the optimist, “Do you call it a breeze that is rank “with mouldy cellar smells and train il?” barked the boss, “And suppose “this front car has foul air blowing ‘4 soon with young hood- Jums standing up and cutting off t ‘gmelly draught? And, if the car eurn your newspaper in the face of It? And won't some swine get in with a f-smoked punk cigar hid up his id what you call a breeze will arks from It and burn holes your clothes—not HIS clothes, mind ou, but YOUN clothes, MY clothes gested Mr. Jar . We'll stay right where we are d e . “Dog gone her said Mr. Jarr, about in, and I have to go down town in this unap le subway with a lot of human a Mr. Jurr was one of the “human cattle," he would have told the boss 18 GETTING POPULAR. | Wrath. thought of such a remark— . only, as he WAS the boss, Mr. Jarr “ only’ blinked and re OCOD MORNING!" sald) init it was pretty tough. But what Mr. Jarr briskly as bi8/hoe really meant was that it was boss took @ seat beside| pretty tough to stand such remarks him In the subway, “I¢| Without making a comeback. isn't often I have the ling “pleasure of riding downtown with |grouch, you. thank your tars you are not a prop- ~ “Do you call this a pleasure? |/erty owner! You can rejoice you are not a bus- Mr. Jarr pursed his lips as though | or trying to collect bills—the women to Imply his thankfulness was beyond words. “Busines is restricted by the exac- tions of meddling demagogues! Property is inspected by this board and that board—boller inspectors, health ing ors, factory inspectors, fire inspec 3; income is taxed if you hav ny me—and yet the women want to vote! In fact, Mr. Jarr, I don’t know what the country is coming to!” “You object to women voting?” asked Mr. Jarr. He felt he could not discuss fhe burdens the rich enduro with any patience, even with his boss. “They've got everything else, haven't they?” snarled the bass. “Dog gone ‘em! I'm glad they can't get the vote!" The boss went on. “Mr. Jarr, women are @ trial and tribulation. They have no sense of fair play, they won't be happy themselves or let any- body else be happy. And now, when times are go hard that nobody is making any money except the shoe dealers, because so much solo leather is worn out by folks looking for work are more impossible than ever! You can't live with them and you can't lve without them!" “I'm sorry to hear it,” began Mr. Jarr, when the boss cut in again. “You, Mr. Jarr, can't give your wife much, so there are so many things sho knows she can’t get that she's miserable till she's happy. But my wife has everything and she's happy till she’s miserable. She makes my life a horror. She drives me out of the house fighting with me, and then says I don't love her bee: stay out. And if I stay in eh I'm only doing it to spy on her. A here the boss sunk his voice to whisper, “I saw a letter she wrote an electrical firm asking if a dictograph could be attached to my dancing crutches! What would you do about itr” Mr. Jarr could offer no suggestion. “I've been thinking of consulting this Zareff the Occult I hear so much about,” sighed the boss, “If he 18 occult he might hoip.” Copyright, 1914, by The Press Publishing Co, (The New York Evening World). PERSONALS AND LOCALS. JIDEON SPRIGGS has bought him a new mowing ma- chine, The reason he can’t use his old one no more ia because he didn’t have any, doin’ all his mowin’ by hand with a scythe, When my apples is ripe, I'll have some to sell, Them as has worms in ‘em I'll make cider of, so I'll have GED HIS MIND Ccapant wt By Callahan HICKVILLE DOINGS From Our Hickville Correspondent Hazen Conklin some cider, too. Clem Plunkett, Dry Pond Rocd.—A Deacon Smith and Rev. East, who come to us from the West, druv to ‘herry Valley yestidday to call-on Rev. Scudder, who wes here afore Rev, East for five rs, Rev, East told your invaluable correspondent in etrickt confidents that the reason he wanted to meet Rev. Scudder was to see if he looked like he'd starved to death here. Abigail Peabody has advertised for summer boarders. She says she has took in summer boarders fo) sons now and has got such puta- tion that she's riz the price from $7 a week to $!. She has give her an- nual order for canned vegetables condensed milk to Bemis Brothers as usual, | Miss Rowena Hillbush, Jennie Hille bush, our school teach on for a visit to Jenni goin’ home to Dobbinav! come from, because of her rec: gagement to Bud Halters. like Bud might Sorry now he didn't wait a spell befoi pensubble correspondent {is mi | glad he didn't, because—well, qaue te your business, My hens ts still layin a-plenty. hens don't lay no cea” that aint strictly fresh. \ "hen you eat any of my oggs that's spoiled you can come back with them. Mrs. Cooper, Tan- nery road.—Advt, That Rowena Hillbush ts a mighty with your indomytubble correspon. dent to-night. There ain't no moon to-night, but there'll be some tall sparkin’ to light things up. That's writ for a joke. ‘Town Clerk Hippolyte Harkness has figured that Hicky: bo! lation has growed twenty-five puasent im the last decayed (decayed means ten yous only it ee re, ter. ARDON, M’SIEU, JE Fale aes Me hore ‘purty gal. She's goin’ buggy ridin’ |B of increece keeps on in 1974 we'll have 100 folks here. 7 Rowena Hillbush is how folks. and blonde. pondent likes amallis} Rowena Hillbu dark. Sid Foray! Robinson, ores. Ia best. mallish and is puttin’ up to Carrie 1 Robinson's daughter who come home plump. after learnin’ how to cut fingernails. Sid saya as bow he's goin’ to take her buggy ridin’ as soon as can git Ben Bellows, our lusty to put extry leafs in the rings of his sidebar buggy. It looks like there’s more courtin’ than farm- in’ bein’ did in thie locality right ———__——_. WOULDN'T FOLLOW IT, “I am glad to find you bet: @ physician to @ famous upon paying him @ congaloun sé evurser™ “Indeed, I did not, doctor,” retorted the sick man, “or I should have brok. en my neck.” i r “Broken your neck!" exclaimed t} doctor in amazement. . your pi iption out of the wi a Chicago Journal. ED-MAN || COLLARs |) ots, | “THE RED-MAN” Atypical Sum me ned