The evening world. Newspaper, May 26, 1914, Page 20

A Page of Comics. Sketches and Stories OOEY and AXEL—Oh, Piffle! GEE GeoRGcE - | DUNNO WHAT To Do ABouT AxeL! HE GcT SEASICK YESTERDAY AND WENT To BED AN'¢d He's BEEN TERE EvER since! / He WONT LET ME Go NEAR. Him AN’ HE WONT come out! THEY Say TWs 1S GUARANTEED To Do TH’ WORK! By Roy ksMsCarcell 128; vis, tse Kynieties Os | your kick and frame you up for five . po Be, in athe for wi ing qoncenine weepins, r jullivan law, I'li— CUED TURNS RESCUER | you apotowise t's party of cl AND SAVES MR. JARR. | that has 10 {ute for bulla, except po serve on the juries that a ‘em up,” R. JARR med a “come) interposed the fat lady, “If I have one, come all!” attitude and] swell friends what call to see me expression, as Frits, the shipping clerk, and Swee- the cop, the latter when I'm visiting poor relations on with rage, crawled out from the east side, no one ain't going to bawl them out! Setding bed, This, now r d from its fair burden, the hy: fat lady, was no longer a dead- for the two men beneath it, @ bar- e for the moving pictu: “Don't, start anything with her, Sweeny,” advised her brother Fritz: “all L want her io da te to ask for hom time and pull her freight out of here!. “Lt treat her as if | was her own brother, which I am,” Fritz went on me t know wor ‘LUDO To GET Him ouT ON peck! TLL KID HIM ABouT THAT MEXICAN DO6 HE WANTED To BRING WITH Him THAT'LL Ger Him Mab AN’ HE'LL COME AFTER ME in a grieved tone. “And what docs she do but put everything on the blink. There's Charlie Petera"—and rrite inuicated the moving picture operator, who, now titut the bed was up, had opened his door and come out “there's Charlie Peters, what has Dream “Are you in tho movies? Belle Rotund!, appealing to the dap- per, sallow youth, who subsiated al- most exclusively on home-made cigar- rettes. “I work a projector,” replied the youth, “but I never was on a cam- era. But if you kin run a ond- hand projecting machine of a type first used to show the authentic films of the Corbett-Fitzsimmons fight I'll bet you can run a camera, outside work or studio, and never bat an eye!” And to prove it Mr. Peters rolled another cigarette. “T Jest crazy to exclaimed La Belle Rotundi as T lay there in bed thinking it over, I realized that being a fat lady was working at a lost art. work in tho! Mi HEY AXEL! OW AXEL! You'D Look FING IN New YORK WITH “THAT HAIRLESS PURP “TAGGING AFTER YA — WOULDN'T CHA? UNCLE BILL, WHAT'S | THAT YOU'RE SPILLIN ALL OVER My NEW CARPET 7 “Why, when the big show closes its engagement at Madison Square Gar- den, don't you know it cans its human curlosities, when it takes up its route under the rags? Oh, yes, it do! And where is dime museums now?” “Well, all I gotta say is that I wisht I was on a peg post rather than being on beat in this district, then maybe I wouldn't have got me uniform tore and me back strained,” grumbled Sweeny, the policeman. “And look at poor chi!" erled Fritz. “Boarding with us eight years, and having no hay pile to back into for three nights!" “Tt's all right, Fritz," mumbled the Uttle oller, “It's all right now. I walked in me sleep while your sister tuck me place in the haypile, but beg done for since she nearly bruck good night, everybody rr, as he consulted his watch. “The next time you have a sociable riot again, don’t forget to invite me in time for'--and he bowed to the fat lady—"the big blow off!" a | Are We Gonna Have a “Mexican Hairless” in This Series? - Hath cea CO Got SORE AT ME DIDNT CHAswHeEN {lif ' alt 1 (MADE YA LEAVE Him IN VERA CRUZY by ‘The Press Publishing Co, ‘ork Rrening World), PA’S DIARY TREASURES TWO ‘CHICKEN’ STORIES. 'M pretty nigh stumped what to write down in my diary to-night. Things has been dull around the hou to- day. I et breakfast alone, Ma and Clarice bein’ still abed when I left for the office, havin’ been to a sufferers’ meetin’ last night, and I et dinner alone to-night, they bein’ off to a dinner party. And I give my man Jorkins a night off so as he could go to some lodge he belongs to, ’ nor a deadfall sidew: the unfortunate little bald jer, hi. is buttinsky put up the job on " roared Sweeny, the policeman. je’s a reforme I kin tell it by And it's them always gits you in bu y, dian’t everybody think he w Board of Helt'? Sure dey did! . Jare was ready for his martyr- . It flashed through his mind that the escaped being bruised or maimed ould not be abl say to bis wif he never stirred as the raging man, the most formidable of all fous animuls, advanced toward ley, Rube!" cried the fat lady, uddenly to the rescue. teba mean wanting to beat up @ gemman’? You fat head! If you emear anybody, go outside and them simps what's blocking entrance like Steuben County wade what stick around for the be attractions and the ballyhoo, and blow when the door talkers to grind ‘em in! G'wan, yah ww! Or I'll fall back on you and fiat, mys ‘k home chaupionallp o ate policeman. y maybe this lady saves you he grumbled, “but if you ever in Fas, precinct oir ioe one ri yours and you'll get it and then. put a gat.in. “SAFETY FIRST” (2 MY ONE INVES: een BUT—HE CHANGED HIS MIND! Comrright, 1916, Press Pubitabing Co (N.Y. Evening Word) THAT'S. THE TIME { FOOLED THE WIFE: Oh, yes, there's somethin’ I can put down, Charlie Higgins writ me a let- ter sayin’ that he was comin’ to New York next Monday to take that job as Jepson, my sales manager's assist- ant’s assistant. He says it don’t look as if there would be any war with Mexico, so his bein’ a leftenant in the militia needn't keep him in Dobbins- ville no longer. Huntington, our manager, N, sent a givin’ away free two marked cakes In every dozen, and looks for a big clean-up in soap sales, We're goin’ to get to our summer id about the midd! » All them things Ma ts havi fixed up there will be done by then— all except finishin’ the new gar: ided up the work of fixin’ ih id I will kinda share doin’ all super- and I'm signin’ all the checks. minded me of when we lived up in Dobbinaville. Feller in Cedar Grove who'd just got his garden planted calla over to his neighbor who keeps hens and he says “Arthur, I'm goin’ to build a fence between your land and min The neighbor scratchen his head and looks disappointed. ‘Well, Wilford,” he says, “I'm glad you told m I'm going in to the city to-day, mM is] at the grain store and order some feed." I told that to Jorkins before he went sald it reminded him of an- Couple of college drivin’ by a fart ser pays to the other: place for the bird to be roostin: Probably heredity,” says the other r, “I'l wager she was ratsod n egg that come by parcel past Just then a boy come out of the house to get the mail, and he took one look at the pullet and let out a whis- that he was pushin’ our new idea of | AND THEN IF I WOULD GRow T31G Quicn,! Courd Te THE PoP Copy mani, 1914, Prove Prationing Co (WV Brening Wort) Comet a Bid WERE writin’ a letter to a ‘chicken’ I thought he was jokin’! ‘That was why I let Jorkins go out ~-so he wouldn't tell me no more like that. The feller that told me that chick- en feed story come in to see if we wouldn't give our next printin’ con- tract to his firm. Printin’ our soa) wrappers ain't no small item. And might have talked turkey with the feller if he hadn't talked chicken. He was one of these fellers that stick their faces about an inch away from yours when they talk and give you a shower bath every time they come | / to an exclamation point, And I've noticed that most fellers who have that habit are strong on ontons for ® steady diet. If he'd kept his face six inches further away when he told me that story he might have landed a con- tract. But his humor wasn't of the dry kind, literally speakin', and while T was reachin’ for my handkerchief T made up my mind agin him. For I reasoned that if we got to talkin’ real earnest over prices and such and he got real excited, there bein’ no umbrella nearer than ome, I'd be ews. 3 & AY Pen. writ, full, any Thin People Can Increase Weight ites ng. Firat yournolfy ith ever {t put does not of iteelt J. At ti tor in an eustly Dares ft rae {which the blood can readily ‘asco | Ghs, mourlansent ‘Hse eats “fram 01 ie, Bu Waste and dose it quickizgnd makes fat producing content did yo eatin po