The evening world. Newspaper, March 16, 1914, Page 16

RF igh ih Fun for the Home Sketches and Stories: and the Ride Home “S MATTER, POP!” RB T CANT = ¢ DONT You SEE? IT CANT BE AXEL WATCHED FLOOEY A LITTLE TOO CLOSELY WELL vou Bie Sime — 1M Gown de THE, ALL RIGHT FLOOKY | CRAWL. IN THROUGH /, ‘ Good WoRK STAR" IN TODAY'S FILM 5 YoU MADE THE window! _};, Now EXAMING THE SUCH A MuUSS OF IT YESTERDAY “THAT COMBINATION WITH By THEY'VE. GWEN ME He New Parr. >) KEEP YER EYE ON ME AND YOULL REE SOME SWELL ACTING! ) AY BANE. WATCHING, FLooEY | \} a (THINK I'LL CHANGE MY MIND AND TAKE ONE MORE CHANCE =_I'LL PROPOSE TO GLADYS TO-DAY. IF | DIE ogee oe WILLIE JARR “GOES AND DOES IT” AT LAST. POOR CAPTAIN! oO. AROLD DOGSTORY, the preas | Ba: agent of that smashing musi- cal guccess “The Girl From fhe Cheese Factory,” had “sniped” _ the town with dodgers reading “Mill- Gary Night at ‘The Girl From the (reese Factory.” From every ash ‘Barrel the statement abrieked. It was moked to sticks protruding trom the @irty enow heaps all over town. Also 4id Harold Dogstory send fmuch manifold copy to the dramatic | deg how Capt. Herbert le, the cotillon and military | 51 Yeader, had bought out the entire house to have his company in the @rack regiment—it 1s always a crack fegiment — the Rosemary Grays, it, One cynic critic ran the story with She comment that it waa to be hoped Capt. Tynnefoyle's company would attend the performance, divided into Bring equade, and shoot up the show. Then did Harold Dogatory “put ever" another story for which the Rewepapers also “fell”—that the mili- Sy ery at “The Girl From the iter" was in reallty an en- feet y, and that Capt. Her- Tynnefoyle's flancee, a society bud from Philadelphia, was to be @haperoned by Mrs. Edward ve ing aries = lite i great was the rush of the public te buy seate—for the public al wads to a theatre it fh ant into—that Mr. Dogstory gained Jarr’a consent to postpone her a, for one week while the up the first real money had come in since the opening. hile the gallant Capt. Tynne- at the Bullet and had no} nM & great foyie's little adh, Ch it bee: fae, Rangle give a receipt for nim. | must have eaten something in ith Mr, Rangle previously, or ‘at club later, that had disagreed with him also, For Mr, Rang hasily explained HIS condition as W ing due to chronic indigestion—al- with Mr, Jarr, Rangie hed tried to fight everybody in the military club, and there was no doubt, as Capt. ‘Tynnefoyle eaid, that he, his sponsor, would be suspended from the club in Conaequence, “We do not permit any fighting characters to belong to the yonet Club,” Capt. Tynnefoyle explained. “I have never seen eu ruffianly behavior since the two bru- tal gunmen came into the armory of the Rosemary Graya during target practice and held up and robbed the whole regiment!” Mr, Rangle had even inaulted the Japancee servanta in the club by in- sisting he wanted chop euey. <Alao he took Sukkutaasht, the steward, to tank for eending his laundry home in condition, In had Capt. Tynnefoyie ex- plained that the servants were Japan- ese and not Chiness, “And they are all gentlemen of Japan and eptes! es for their Government. ‘They get places in our military clubs to learn our military secrete and be' them to their Minister of Warl” Capt. Tynnefoyle declared. Mr. Jarr wished to know why they employed spies as servants and Capt. Tynnefoyle said it was on account of strategy. After the spies reported the bloodth: tion at the Bullet and Bayonet Club their Gov- ernment would know what it had to fear, Master Willle Jarr, In bed with the measlen, his infection a Capt. Tynnefoyle, of all these things that although “Military Night the "Girl From the Cheese Factor was postponed a week, the boy was cheered mightily. But upon being told he would not be well enough to attend he turned his face to the wall and refused to be comforted by promises to be taken to the circus when it came to town and If he were well enough, Buch was tho state of affaira with the Jarr household, with Capt, Tynne- foyle and with Mr. Jarr and the tactleas John W. Rangle. The latter had been brought home from the Bullet and Bayonet Club tn a taxicab by Mr, Jarr and Capt. Tynnefoyle— ri ullet and | tee though he could mot clearly pro- Rounce it, Getting Tynnefoyle to the Jarr apartments in order to ‘square’ Mrs. Jarr, it was found the lady of the house was call- Mudridge-Smith and left word for Mr. Jarr to come and bring her home. While Mr. Jarr wae at the tele- hone Sereaging for this Capt. le the patter of little there stood Master Jarr. snowballs at manly little orm Nis Yack fresing Wert,” PA BRINGS JORKINS’ NOSE DOWN WHERE IT BELONGS. IN" of any importance happened to-day except Jor- kins, Things was smooth down to the office and Ma and Clarice bave gone to ndebake, al- though not generally a demonstrative cbild, the convalescing Willie threw his arms around the captain and kissed him. Coming from the telephone and be- bolding this, Mr. Jarr shrieked and ppl Fado But can one pun- jah @ obild that’s 111? Certainly not, 900 “The Smirch,” which ts some kind of a theatre show that lives up to its name, accordin’' to what the news- papers say about it. So Jorkins and me was left to get better known to each other, If Ma knew it she'd most likely bave @ ft and fire him, but Jorkina ain't bis name and he ain't English, His { YOU GOTTA DO IT! | Copyright, 1014, by The Pree Publishing Go, (The New York Broning World) NS DIARY woXtanes | name's Bill Schultz, and he hails from Milwaukee, Wis, His pa is a coo! in a brewery out there, His Otto, And his ma’é name ia Katrina, ‘a got two sisters, one of ‘em by the name of 3 boasted that, if it was @ matter of business, I could get on the blind side of any man quicker’n old Migs Pringle’s cat could scoot up @ tree. I've proved it by makin’ a human bein’ out of Jorkina inside of five minutes, I wallered through gettin’ ready for breakfast in spite of Jork! buttin’ in, and Netened to him “Very nineteen times by actual count, I got home from the office so late he didn’t have much chance at er, It was after din- and Clarice had gone, family history. I been usin’ my room as a eort of collar when Ma and Clarice runnin’ around downatairs, be- that the only way ner, when Mi that I got his cigara up here that Ma won't smoke downstairs and @ coup! bottles with the right kind of labels on ‘em, and | come up after dinner for a ok Jorkins wai there flummydiddlin’ around with me of my duds, which said he was gettin’ together to be pressed. I told him to clear out with them and not come back. He said “Very good, sir,” and stuck up his nose. I'd heard all the “Very good, sirs” that I could stand, and I ripped right out at him in @ way that would have tore the dignity out of a walkin’ del- egate for the soapmakers' union, “Jorkini I says, windin' up my broadside, “I'm a plain and I like plain talkin’ without y Eng- Msb frills, And I like noses down where they belong. Do you get me?” He got as far as the “ve " that was bapit with him, Lig before he re- ir, ya. I peeled a twenty off my roll and waved it under his chin. His nose come down then and I see that “not present” look come out of his eyes, “I'll pay you twenty dolla: month more,” I says, “if you'll try te be a buman bein’ while you're \N THE ATTEMPT. around me and act like you was aware that I’ in the same room with you. You needn't let on to the issus. This is just between us two, ‘Then you and me will get on fine. Do you get me? grabbin’ the “You be he twenty. “That go I made him chuck the duds on the bed and sit down and hav drink on it. Then I made him light up one of my cigars, but he didn't seem to ike {t and pretty soon he asked me could he smoke @ cigarette. And then he got real chummy and we hadn't been swappin’ yarns half an Rose before he told me about his 0) I'm goin’ to ike Jorkins, after all. ————___. The Spirit of °76. NEW YORK east sider met a friend on the street and told him he had quit the button- hole-making trade. ‘I'm in the art business now,” he said proudly—“such a fine business too! Lote of money in it!" “What do you mean—art business?” demanded bis friend, “Well,” explained the east alder, “I go by auction sales and I buy pio- t| tures cheap; then I sell ‘om high. Yesterday I bought a picture for twenty-five dollars and to-day I soll it for fifty.” “What waa the subject?” “It wasn't no subject at all,” said the art collector—"it was a picture.’ “Sure, I know,” said the other; “but every picture has got to be a subject or it ain't a regular picture, you understand, Was this here pio- ture a marine or @ landscape, or a still life, or a portrait—or what? What did it represent?" “How should I know?” said tbe puzzled ex-buttonholer. “To me a picture {s a ploture! This hore pic- ture now didn't have no name, Jt was a picture of three fellers and one flag. One feller had a fife, one feller , and one feller had a Eveniag Post. CASTORIA The Kind You Have Always Bought Bears the Bignature of ———— 4 AROUND! Copyright, 1914, by The Press Publishing Oo. (The New York Bvening World), The material being woven to our order, you are assured of exclusive patterns and colorings in all grades from $1.50 up. Look for the purple band across the neck of every shirt; it's the mark of TROY'S BEST PRODUCT, EARL & WILSON MAKERS OF RED-MAN COLLARS.