The evening world. Newspaper, December 30, 1913, Page 12

The Evening World Daily LPH PULITZF: J, ANGUS SHAW, ‘ Row, JOSEPH PULITZER, Jr., Secretary, 63 Park Row, Entered at the Post-Office at New Tork as Hecond-Clans Matter, @ubsctiption Rates to The Evening |For England and the Continent an@ ‘World for the United States All Countries in the International and Canad Postal Union : One Year.. Ove Jess. eee VOLUME 54.. 60/One Year. .80/One Month. «NO, 19,124 WATCH THE LITTLE FELLOW. A S$ 1913 draws to a close the lookouts are straining their tyes to discern waves of prosperity ready to sweep blissfully over us with the incoming year. What's the use of pretending that the lull in business is due to nee of the corporations and the big fellows to part with ‘heir e real difficulty is rather that the little fellows have been sitting tight and hanging fast to their cah. After all, what really matters for purposes of prosperity is whether Jones is enlarging or cutting down his grocery orders and whether Smith thinks the right time has come to paint his house. What can the big fellows do unless the little chaps are spending their money with cheerfulness and confidence? The fact is that for the last decade or more the little fellows have listened to lies about tariff, currency and what not until they finally made up their minds that the only thing left was to draw in and wait for something that looked like truth. In the past three months they have had more straight, reliable. reassuring information about tariff changes, currency and the attitude of government toward business than they have heard before in a generation. \ The conviction that at last he is getting the truth about dis-| turbing questions like these makes all the difference in the world to the confidence and courage of the little fellow. | And when all is said and done it is the confidence and the courage of the little fellow, if anything, that is going to start the tide of prosperity rolling in with the New Year. a eee ——— +4 WHICH? Maybe to-morrow we'll know who's what. | | HALL we face the plain truth that certain theatre interests are | S eager to make money by pandering to morbid curiosity with | white slave pictures and sensational panorama of “soul traffic,” | Or shall we dodge the truth by arguing that to one person out of five hundred these lurid spectacles may carry some shoddy semblance of a moral lesson? | Shall we recognize the fact that these purveyors of underworld | filth are actuated by motives no higher than those of their theatrical brethren who sought to exhibit behind the footlights a poor creature | who lived for fifteen years in the back room of a Monticello law- yer's office, Or shall we profess to believe that these latter managers also hoped first of all to “uplift” their audiences? | Shall we fearlessly attack and stamp out sordid exploitations of slime and filth that periodically try to eneak in upon our stage, | Or shall we cynically shrug our shoulders and encer—with a middle-aged actor who has just retired from the stage: “We have to! give the people what the people want. If the fibre is coarser, pro-| vide it.” 24 “Let the office seek the man” {s all very well, but does it mean that everybody must hide? — —- - <4: LET’S RESOLVE FOR ONE ANOTHER. | A ENTERPRISING New Yorker has staried a society to help, people keep their New Year's resolutions, Such a society is conspicuously in the line of Progress. If it were not too late we should suggest the formation of a Society! for the Prevention of Useless New Year’s Resolutions—which would in turn suggest another for the Promotion of Useful New Year's Resolutions. It is hard to see why the poor individual should be left without | guidance and support in so important a matter as the regulation or! correction of his personal habits and weaknesses. Your friends would gladly draw you up a set of New Year's! resolutions infinitely more for your soul’s good than anything you couid produce yourself, And what is the use of exhausting your own strength in the effort to keep resolutions when you can have plenty | of willing help from outside? . Up to this time our unfailing enthusiasm for regulating one her hag never fully grasped the opportunities offered hy Now| ears. We rejoice to see that the society starters are warming to. their work. — ot ‘The penultimate day A “Broke” Millionaire. | Postponed until the firet of y To the Taitor of The Erening World : alta te apt to Inst very long. And I 1 A millionaire left his home and went) effect on ono's aie sy is to a hotel. This hotel had four | Repnen resolutions (= very trance, ‘The man had a sum of money | remember that the 4 arbitrary; that ever: yeur; that each day #! though it were the opening of with him. And ent the frac door he hal to pay @ dollar for entering, noide he spent half of the monty 4 left. Going out he paid another | ‘Then he entered the second | door, He pald a dollar for entering and | spent half of the money he had left He gave up a dollar for going out also. ‘Then he followed exactly the same pro- cedure in regard to the two remaining doors, When he was outeide after coming out from the fourth door he did not have @ cent left. Regders, how much money had he in his pocket when he first went to the hotel? QUERY, “Every Day ao Fresh Beginning.” ‘Po the Editor of The Evening World: Now that Christmas is over people are getting ready not only to spend wh; fa left of their ready money on New Year's Eve celebrations but to fram eet of good resolutions for the year. Personally, I don't belleve that a est of resolutions which have to be the old mistakes, the old rt afresh with a clean slate. Say over to yourselves, readers, the wise old verse: | Every day ie the word made new. | Tat oe are weary of sorrow and ing, ‘This io @ beautiful hepe for you." Mew Mao: ‘To the Editor of The Evening World: bushels of cate, which he sold at 33 invest the proceeds, together with $4,000 cash sent him, in prints at 6% cents per and for aclling wae 2 per cent., how many yards of prints did he buy? i ‘Every day is @ fresh deginning; j eens ‘We put on properly. 4 commission merchant recelved 35,000 | cents per bushel. He was instructed to| e#n’t get you.—Albany Journal, yard. If hie commission both for buying the New York Tb Magazine, Tuesday, December 30. ewe By Maurice Ketten |Swearing Off "ta Me | I'LL SWEAR OFF TLL SWEAR OFF | CIGARETTES CANDIES DEAR | IC] | AND Stoke 1AM Too FAT CIGARS ' i VE SWoRN OFF EAR off ) THE MILK IN DING \ excSse eres | Bur Nor ver) LL SWEAR OFF WALL STREET AND Go in THE EGG BUSINESS «VE SWORN OFF WEIGHT — AND STILL HOPING VE SWORN OFF BANQUETS s I led hum inte the kitchen. “Lon't touch any of the chicken sal- Mr. Jarr, pointing to 21. - PRINCES OF The TOWER, By Millais. fe John Erenett Miliais, Kees 1829-1800.) Copyright, 1918, by The Frese Putiishiag O. At the Royal Holloway College, England. (The New York Kreung World), | arn affair is a great success!" | gushed Mrs, Stryver. “Poot: | tively, my dear, tie eutomo- | biles are lined up and down the block.” “If gho doesn't know there are three other parties on the block to-night and & home wedding reception, way should I tei her?” whispered Mre. Jarr ¢o the eldest Cackleberry girl as Mre. Stryver bowed and moved on over by the win- dow to give Mra. Jarre curtains « reptitious feel to see If they or imitation, real Jeather der penalty of her severcs! {f he took the latter off, stood di the hallway giving the high eign to an: of the trusty tribe of white men who were haled in !!ke dumb eattle. “Past! Pat! crlod the genial host as he observed hin friend Rangle being ted in, @ social martyr, At the parting of the waya—the wom- en being led to Mrs. Jarra houdotr © Gertrude, the light-running do- joked after their wraps), and | being shown to the children’s | ‘The @-button siipper ta the latest from Paria, but after the ¥,00-hook phirt- walst mere man is equal to anything. — Columbia State | eo 8 e Moat men who have money to burn carry fire-proof wallete.~Albany Jour- nal. eee A woman's debate in New York as to painting ended in the decision that Painng the face ie ail right if the After this no maaculine eneer should be directed at the feminine lsck of logic.—Baltimore Agmenican. uncle, Richard ITI, usurped ¢ Ten mess Wee: of England, he ordered them confined in Randolph Colclough Wilson, |the Tower of Lonaon, Some of the By Re of ai tendency in modern Robles demanded that the young Prince O Britiah art la that of presenting /2¢ mado King, for the throne rightfully ory ina picture. Sir John H, belonged to him. And to prevent this Millaia ts the bes: exponent of this, Hi! Richard ordered the mmirder. 1913, Oe, Conese so by ‘The Press Publishing | If you don't borrow, the ioam sharks ees “Princes in the Tower" has become al-| Two notorious criminals, John Dighton moat the bol of one of the fouleat and Miles Forrest, w hired for the “O-e tain ehrdlu omfwyp,” remarks | deeds in English history. The two boys |deed, They smothered the boys with which ap: e the young Princo of Wales (Edw their pillows, carried their bodies down to us to be carrying ite dislike of Mr.|V.) and Richard, Duke of York, the one the stairci Picture anit | Munsey altogether too fer.—Columbis| thirteen and the other eleven years old | buried them under the stones at the Grete @A che time of their death, When thelr | foot of Odeo eenasesnnensenoesansesooosoese croeesesoesoesees | \| Mr. Jarr Is Host at a Formal Party, | = And, of Course, Disgraces Himself PID YD COTTSIS GS 9S 44996999 98954S09999905900008000090 | jing to have one big jolly tim LAA hh LETS HOPE MEY WONT Swear OFF WEARING TIGHT SKIRTS THEY ARE 30 BECOMING ULL SWEAR OFF LECTURING WiTHouT PAY T'LUSWEAR OFF @ very large dish headed by a smooth, | long, oval mound covered with a slekly | yellow paint. “It comes from De Styla, the caterer’s. You know, the socie! leaders of Harlem all patronise De| s pecause h: ts a direct descendant of a famoua noble Italian famiiy"— =| (rae Borglas?” murmured Mr, Ran- ale. : “I bdelleve eo," Mr. Jarr went on. “And don’t touch the claret punch, and, | Temember, you aren't to smoke.” “It looks to me aa though we 0 go | sl | 6 Mr. Jerr! friend teater | ‘The olicioth! A hoon to suffering anity!" eried Rangle. i Vhat do you mean, to suffering bumani Jarr in asto ment. “T dreamt of bathing them !n vanilia, fee cream or walking for mites and) miles on a cold winter's night on oil. ! {eloth! Oh, Ddenefaction to sufferin | humanity"-— “Suffering grandmother! taliing about?” asked Mr. “L had to put on patent leather |My wife made 1 explained “and now 1 have ‘em off m am enjoying the cooling Mr. Rangle. nN w strangely on his fee# The ofleloth! th cloth @ beon * inquired Mr, Whatcha you say ao?" asked Mr, “Here I've been wearing these fireless cookers of mina al! evo- ning and not thinking that cool, grates ful, balmy olicioth was an antidote " went on Mr. Jurr, after remov- patent leather pumps atso, some of tho old stuff!” | "Can't T smoke, too? asked Ran: And he pulled from some h’dden rec of his attire a dingy old pipe p! ‘That tan't regarding the “to come into. m: * erled Mr. J with envy, pipe house and smoke a pipe~not a cignr- ette or a cigar, but a pipe-when you j know smoking is forbidden and (which jyou didn't know) that Mre. Jarr has locked up all my pipes!” . i front of the fat | the sound of d'sjointed murmurings and the tinkle of the piano under the akil- ful playing of Mr. Percy Pinkfnger came out to the kitchen where these two coarse persons sat with their stockinged feet on the kitchen oil- cloth, amoking an old pipe by turns and as happy se though society were a million miles away. hy couldn't we give a pipe-and- uff-and-ollcloth party Iike this?’ “It can't be done,” replied Mr. Jarr. “But, hark! I hear footprints! Douse in your shoes! Hide the tuft! “Tention!" ‘Ah, there You two are!" cried Mre, Rangle and Mra Jarr at once "Aren't you coming in and dance the tango and get some of the claret guncht” ba | ee 1913 Copgeatit, 1011, ty Tis Meee Pustishing Oo, (The Now Y M’ Daughter, there be two titngs which are a vexation unto me; Veenng We tht yea, three, which are a weariness, The first of chese ts a snob. And the second is a pink tea. But the third ie a NEAR-BOHEMIAN. For many shall call themselves “Bol ans.” but few are of Chosen.” Behold, n long-hatred dilettante, with a soft te, who “turae cuffs to make Ciem white again, ealleth bin a Bohemian,” ant wire, @ bald-headed capitallst wao resaien Paradeth peroxide beauties at the cal 9, cailetio him Yet, alas, thegfirst of eis as patent as a show-girl's make-up, and the second as convincing ax 4 false shirt-bosom. For “Bohem{anism” {s nefther a matter of ha.rcut nor a matter of pose, Dut a matter of TASTE. Verily, verily, a REAL Bohemtan ts a man who honestly preferreth beer unto Burgundy, a pipe unto # perfecto, an old coat unto @ new one, and a table d'hote dinner with vin ordinaire, in company with a wit, unto @ feast with imported champagne in company with a bromide. Lo, he loveth tut TWO things—his friends and his freedom; and hateth but THREE things—a bore, a bounder and a dress-sult, He borroweth from one man that he may lend unto.another; yea, he will borrow thy lest sackel—and invite thee to dinner upon the proceeds. And 80 wondrous is his versatility that be will discourse upon the Putureof-the-Soul while he sippeth red wine, eateth onion soup and filrteth with a moon-faced model. Yot, 1 charge thee, my Daughter, eat with a Bohemian, drink with tim, talk with him, and flirt with him; but do NOT wed with him! For, it {s not possible that ANY man can be both a Good Bohemias and a Good Husband also. Go tot It ts easier for a fat man to go through the eye of & needle than for a rich man to enter Bohemia. For, when man ceaseth to subsist upon Visions and IDEALS an@ beginneth to care what be shall eat, and what he shall drink, and where with be shell pay his debts, then doth he cease to be a Bohemian. Lo, the bromides sha!l not enter therein, neither the dilettantes, nor fools, nor bounders, nor bridge-players, nor climbers, nor anything that in the Land of Conventionality. For Bohemia {s a State-of-Mind, lying in the Valley of Heartsease, the Port of Poverty, upon the Isle of Don't-Care. Upon tho north {t is bounded by Hope, and upon the south by Re upon the west by Laughter, and upon the east by Tears. + And the only ship which may carry thee thither is the Ship-of-Dreams! Selah. THE’ FIRST MAN A Lecture for Women and Girls Only, Delivered Befure the Orange Blossom Society. By Elsa Crosby. (Copyright, 1013, ty ‘The Pres Pu 16 Co, (The New York Erening World.) HREF hundred centuries ago man and the adult baboon half brothers and members of the same country elu, Man had nothing on the baboon, and the fashion pla! of the day ahow that he had nothing worth mentioning on himself, Going without was his habit. The English two-button sack, the bottle-green hat and the fancy walst- coat were ages away. Fartly man spent muca of his time up @ tree, naturally gelecting the cosy cheatnut becouse It was so homelike. for sixty generations or su civilisation tried In a number of his attention, hopit start him in the Kindergarten aud give It paged him among the branches and left notes for him tn a femint at the clerk's desk in the ancestral cave, It nt him night letter tel signed “Honey,” but he never was in or if he was, he didn’t seem to know tt. You coulda't reach him with a mexaphone, Ho wouldn't sit up and take notice even of @ parasol, He answered only to the call of the wild. He was & boob, It was not until 2 centuries before golf that he shinned down the chestn used his favorite safety razor and asked if the woman who had called himfon the wire had left her number, He began to show the first signs that he had the makings of @ mind and that there was something Ike a lemon which pressed on it. In about fifty centuries more tae steamed oatmeal in his dome began to harden and change Its color. Thus he arrived at the first gray dawn of gray matter without knowing it, X There was a reason. Bridge and tance hal to be Invented, Ceitral already had a long éistanece in for divoree lawyers, und besides, somebody had to be the first to at through a eabarot show and wear the fire: suit of ailk pajamas and have @ cota pitiow named after him, So ancestor simply tad to wake up and look interested, even if it di@ hurt some. Like the waterbug, the dachshund, and the favorite breakfast prune man, after a preli.ninary bouts, became domemticated by slow degreca’ w fe hed taken the third and received the password, he made @ break for the nearest gente’ furnishing moods store, where the obliging clerk aided him in the peloction of a flor nent of knitted ties, atar spangled shirtings with turn back cuffs, athlet!> underwear and euclety socks, For man aven at that remote period had set out to bee nifty dresser, and never mind the expense, ‘And £0 he foxged into the stretch, making his way slowly a€ first and get- ting more of a move on luter when he had fitted timself with his first Prinee Albert cont. Given a etart at scratch, #il other places being olosed, & per cent. of the males of the specien gan now find their way home without a guide tf some ene will almply steer them around he corners, \The Day’s Good Stories The Inventory. | WELL KNOWN financier was Trnver ghont ao exeyiior sto inatrwetions, and vitin the tev wore When the nwner got back Lome he este wardian if the dog lel reall: developer ‘Tue man look surprised aut ane sere) Wee A ” re who. wore, mahiag #0 we By pint actrem'a wasemicns, ‘The inventory van Se! kpowal what hapnened lees | en “Ratt! Cut Off a Quarter’s Worth. “Tar0e bleed wigs” soa cleres for = spall xhibiting a9 aul lemting 8 teen cavite cutting tt "igh! aaratte twa, 3 1 bottis of art tame to me! “4 v is’ it amelie ae. Pra tied, pert, 1 om enatomarity come a duller, om Ane Fe lech epee, and! Bill do tt for you for 80 comte,”* reviled the . the | Noman ahdrrwnd Carre filowsd om house teveraimion, Theo ‘The bor lonket ot the’ eotn ta hie hand dis svenintediy for © metmeat, bet his tece bright ened, He stuck out his hend which enateined tw cota and mid: ‘That's all I've got, Cw of 8 quarter's “ 3 By worth."—September Nevionad jie ove H"vo ene of Waher Sete eat eae, esti Welter deemn't wach for ome - from 0 friend of his, oo it'e probably oli A Misunde N the struggling dere ot Washington fimod that be an old chicken howe for » echoolrom, Morning and belp me clean owt o benhous,"' a