The evening world. Newspaper, December 18, 1913, Page 23

Twenty Gems Of American Humor 18 PLUMBERS; by Charles Dudley Warner. PEAKING of the philosophical temper, there te no clues of men whose society is more to be desired for this quality than that of plumbers, They are the most agreeable men I know; and the boys in the business begin to be agreeable very early. I suspect the secret of it is that they are agreeable by the hour. In the driest days my fountain became disabled; the pipe was stepped up. A couple of plumbers, with tho implements of thelr eruft, camo out to view the situation, There was a good deal of difference of opinion about where the stoppage w I found the plumbers perfectly willing to ait down and talk about tt—talk by the hour. Some of their guesses and remarks were exceedingly ingenious; and thelr gen- eral observations on other subjects were excellent in their Way, and could hardly have been better {f they hed been made by the Job. The work dragged a littleman it is The plumbers had occasion to cake several visite, would find, upon arrival, that they had forgotten some indiapensabie tool, and one would go back to tho shop, a mile and o half, after it, and his companion fwould await his return with the smost exemplary patience, and wit down and talk—always by the hour, 1 do not know but it ts a habit to-have something ‘wanted at the shop, Thoy seemed to me very goud workmen, and always willing to Mop and talk about the job, or anything elso, when I went near them. Nor had they any of that impetuous hurry that is sald to be the bane of our American civilization. To their credit bo it maid, that I never observed anything of it in them. They can afford to wait. ‘Iwo of them will sometimen wait nearly half @ day While a comrade oes for a tool. They are pa And philosophical, Great pleasure to meet such men. Ono only wishes there were some work he @ould do for THEM by the hour, There ought to be reciprocity, I think they have very nearly solved the problem of Life; it is to work for other people, never for yourself, and got your pay by the hour, ‘ You then have no anxiety, and Ittle work. If you do things by the Jobd You are perpetually driven; the ours are wcourges, If you work by the hour, you gently sai] on tho stream of Time, witch {s always bearing you on to the haven of Pay, whether you make any offort or not. Working by the hour @emde to make one mora A plumber working by the fob, trying to @ cramped position, where the tongs conti: * but I never heard one of them swear, or exhibit ,Vexation, working by tho hour. eur, Tow eweet the flight of time seems to is calm mind! —n apt to do by the Sometimes jorew a rusty, refractory nut ally alipped off, would awear; least {mpatience at auch a Nothing can move a man who {s paid by the The Housewife’s Part in ‘ Produce Prices” infinitely better to remain unmarried SIPC OLE REE RRS RONEN 4. Lt RE OE RRR TE RRO The Evening World Daily Magazine, tis al a Here's WHERE ¢ MAKE & SNEAK HM THE | BASEMENT ' (F ( DON'T= 'Lt WAVE To SIGN Five xmas usTs ! BUT THis YeRan (ku Foo. ‘em "! teotiye was net one of those peonle apector, it is es#ential that you should ai Thursday, December 18, THis *MAS LIST THING SwWES ME A Pain $ t's & HOLDUP Game! Make the Best (anna Heid'e LIANE CARRERA VI.— Caring for the Complexe ion, HIE complexion han beer ] the moaté Moat apa And yet on Unaliactive defined as attribute covers the seen nO many Women with skins—young women, at that. What I4 the reason? I believe that one reason—ty New York, at any Tate-In the prevalence of make-up ainong Very young Kirin Now, 1 am Just eighteen and 1 have never used rouge in my Life, except dur- fn My appearances on the stage. Ae every one knows, artificial stage Matte ie requires artifielal factal coloring. Hut on the street TP houkd never dream of covering up with paint my natural and so eventually polling tt, The young girls, many of them gtill tn school, Who daub themaeclver with paint and better ywder st They havi do not know any the Instinctive youth: . . An A L S By Maurice Leblanc By Seghte bene Leek, Edith Swan-Neck § {42 Arsene Lupin Story} ‘opright, 1918, by The Pre Publishiog Co, (The New York Kreaing Werld), a asia ‘ sr. BDING INSTALMENT. 4 excite themselves for nothing. know the different stages which 1 have reptitiousiy Into the house, were stolen + GOP IRECT your forces toward an{means who need this nourishment Sete cai gsrigasti eels Waites When Chiliasra “aot a mipyeion hie tensed’ enicunn weenen me, but T by somebody wr remained in the hi | D eggless Christmas and you) most. ‘in unton there te etrength,’ and | picks ermianic, & pick Tmatian, owns, trelve ft meant that he had sound reasons for consider It indispensable.” and it t equally certain that, by tak- ii have wil the exgs you/If all the Lousewivow were to make up salen, Later, it is returnel, Accompanring i a * In the lst of the poople Invited and Copyright on 1 you | their mind; Ww | Bote ehgned Cie tnéttals of Amene Lapin, the doing #0. And ho repeated id ¢ the poop! Dane tates casote [eter eeln: re tee saee el Rearmtrgeee TAME ee one “Aa @ ruabiar-of faobvon.thaleventia, ip age anying, Chief, that Taupin haw dulring Into the wptecederte of + Billy Rice's Train Race. Werle Cie ravel= bean Uply Tesulting therefrom would | "Next time I'sball toke te twolte,” Sreratent) of that second day M. Duoule Was often got the better of me and led me ne might ¢ U all remember fat, Jolly Billy i Legh) Tia no tad te ee cer Lames the | mies ay ee Che eel Ce Ni tt called’ to the tejephone: many a dance, But, In this coftest in Y Hice, “HUI wan always fat OE sees oi aie rent OC, ROO Would | Es ewig’ of Cae tae, ls cites reer ‘ils that. your EuletT™ whieh I have always come out wornt there's a ui—nameiy, mit on this particular aceasion Heath,! within the reach of ali a Uttle|tion In onder to exhibi eters, Daring "Ty It Ganimard speakin, e8 8 «0 € #9 © 1 have aut that the thraw detectiven had thls tist In| be wasn't ws allelired jolly. Kier wee { of the) later on when they are naturally most ie con Fd of iM 8 Falngecd ate xe Cautfous men both, they begun oy Yeaut gained perience of hie manner (heir hands wien the guests arrived and ay, ature Itaverly's Minstrole for Ho tee wives! | scarce, letany beeen eer tans weenie tchee her conking sure of each other's identity. of play and lvarned to know his tacticn, that they ail had it when It was while playing St an As to the Yuletide foativities,”* eaid | husband's arm in euklen terror. Just thm eer? Ax oon ae hla mind Wae.cased on thls Now in tr matter of tho tapestries, left. Now, sixty-thres came in Ayia re Scania: Ludi q Mre, Heath, “th light tn the house ln tis vatinghiaed 4, hurried! ied Ki yates ° re, Heath, “thera are many delt-| light fa use tn momentary exti point Ganimard continued, hurrie St occurred to me almost from the mtart *ixty-thres went away So Joiliiens."* Governor's Com-|cacies that can be made without eggs. | Um fant ce mmiatel, Me ems Ten mem, Chief, at once, And p to net myself two problems. In the sec” * * & Au order was eft fur an estly. “call” ‘minsion for a mus) Tor example, there are cakes, {ce|howerer, they Bparmiento rule fmm come yourself. tirat place, Lupin, who never makes a = ‘Phen dy you supp jervanty eee) ae y vtel A ew twat didn’t mas nicipal market. creams, cookies, &c., that {f a house. | ble home, A few li later ie a nen hey ‘Where aro you’” nove without knowing what th in No," ferialize, Mr. hoe © sud ly to. rs “Ruducing the) keeper uso dut a Kittle ingenuity can te | Mtouad in * raileny dor uauinarnt, “In the house, on the ground floor after, wan obviously aware that Col, Aeroctiven' Hod chal bo bud fonoiiten to aan - Nigh cost of lv-|made without cags.” cle ct Poll 1 inveterse cuemy of Hut T wil walt for you Just inside the @poormtento had come to the end of his { drones the train, Mast! ro Inspector Moe and 7 ie SLOEB® 11, continues} ‘here is mach wladom Mr, | Mapln, tale charge of the care, garden gate.” money and that the low# of the tapes- @ 0 @ tu, weil (NO) donning ev he ahanbak the M Meath, “iMee) Heath's advice, Gone ure tho daye - “TH come at onte In a taxi Of tye might drive nim to xutctde ntly, if oh Wil pout, Hew down stalee, Inte hack. withia the wit of ovary woman whol when ONLY tho praducer pews vty Coattnied) courae?" Neverthelegs, Lupin, who hates the committed from tie inside 2 Whore oe fuiwied drem rived Keeps houre, Where therv tx no de-|price. ‘The conevmer has nets BT the end he TOrtDt 6 “Yo—, Chief, Stop the taxi tfty yards Very thought of bloodshed, stole the At is beyond dispute,” doe > aa ni fiat the Mand, produce is overmarketod and! aay, a n the yo the cone | isked for an extension of grom the howe ou tn when 994 tapemtrion.” napwctar, Whose oxvit t and 1 rin smaturally becomes cheaper, ‘That sumer becomes strong enough le can leave, Tho chief of t - whistle, “There was the inducement." sald be near fever poin 01 or waving a him tro hewsewire can have a part in makin aVitG Drees, at leant for the twotive service, who Thing? took place ws Ganiward lad ate M, Dudouty, “of the Ave or six hundred question wbout it. All my invest! Jui ows, The next train waa "the price is the new ta eognon rodity, to come down to| that time M. Dudou ranged, Shortly after midnight, thouxand francs which they aro to the mame vertaints. And my ot. due each jie destination until re 1M posmible for every | to 4 d found him py all the lights were out on the uppe rth vietlon gradually be #0) pomitive : ae Pa wad ue cad tite, adder on the wallery. qoora, he alipped into the etreot and went Suet, 2 telt you om that 1 ended y drawing up re eon s *% don't like the word ‘yoyeo Chief Inspector admitted to meot M. Dudouls There w har whatever the occasion migut be, Lupin Ouse startling axiom theory ant tn AG ak Royeotting @ produc: enough to control suemingiy to all ie searches had proved useless. rgd con ” officers divtri sould not take fe, nor be the cause fact, the robbery can have t his tat @e price has certainly proved oMivus|ane ave example. The} Two days later, nowe M. Dudouty uted theme: ordered cf another pereon'a seer ans een mitted wits Ae assistance of an tou ° vs arr hen the Chie! hing in this world, for tailiony an aplic NH the house. Wor aoe SRPRHBPENY id Naille | Woman any called again and ra The Re ciee A Ane: BRBRR! Ika MERE RA In Aw there was no accomplice Paine pO ae ; en va tia thoughteul walled Haske ceeeth ti ind place, what was the obsect “That's paid Dudoute ‘ ay, GOnN I, ai dad alk whe | Bundle of newspapers lay spread Gane Sresnutiee fall that disturbance fy the ev * @utte absurd,” sald Gan forethought they can be dis comes Nel eront uf hit. At test, ia reply to hig OVOEY Precaution, tr naked M, during the housewarmihy party? Ob- at the very mo ” with, at least for the time being. mere who i aie Well, wiat’s it all avow uke t , re urgent questions, the Chile Tea hah cioas moan? ‘ously, don't you think, to surround absurd auntence the tr aun | <The effort by th ividual will | MAKI the ¢ seg have | Vat doen all thie moan? viouriy, don't yor che Meee aa | (make this commodity much cheaper] the ilttle oman cons: ure | nepec Inuttered word wo ivvk ! a pal Peer nee Mecisttne entrant none Lene pl a mesic Cat eek eeicna ce, Rae fg. Hie sible thine, and aleo ty divert wuspieion "on, a very din, veoy sacompl ia T yenra a _ ne on Omen noting: there's founded to i Oanimare Ly f) ia ay Hh Meee x wees * an ? ‘ %e | ton vying me * © © Only it reems had never m in euch @ from the truth, whleh eh LENE still suMetent te wit | tha elu tab ts on Wee: th iu Betty Vincent's Advice to Lover ee anena ate @ Aadeinen ike deeaat of pertut or heard tim S4nliy ave een “saaportes Fide me 1 wan bond ty Bad We An ; : 1 denoting such exclte. OU Re not to 4o you tollow me, ¢ . . , to marry for any other veasur es: splain things © © * oO; “o eontrar in nee, “Upon me F i ; ¥ ed “ ‘ The Man She Doesn't Love |‘** ‘© na ae e inont Upon my word M Dodo ais wat mien! 1 \ f i ‘i ; siguabo ab Tete d a me vmenon that had ts ue POSK a girl! hypothetizn. whi i “Then «9 @ Any vews, Ganina , t pia w is cagaged to ed {t is poemiole that che sir) “Then 7 implore you, € to havea "Yes, Chief, and * © ¢ thin ti a . | 4 7 : Mr. A. but! muy never become the wie of Mr. D.| jittte patience * © © to let me gu ny ¢ ° © But L iy velleve it A ale even dea nlhet . a le », ah Jn true to | 7 But iy telephone ¢ 1 welt, #8 8 ta not mistaken, ® "If it's not one ¥ ‘“ i Indy that ane le, Even #0, she may remain true uwn way t i telephone to you, ee it may same words, did no} At Very wervants, nor the privat toe t vowiiy sa love With, welt and to her Weats uf J refusing some day or other, suddenly, you munt Senne hae © 8 And set thet’ wae then there'a no cre left ® e 8 t nance: at She is a a ‘Vhe soc bresiid) Jump inte a tax! without losing a iain Se Fen eMC Se SH ie cea aah herean,, 6818) Seal here Sean "Yea, Chief, there's one left! © #8 To ptor Bie ce whether, as. the etter ute, Tt will mean that I have diveoy- the feud, the whine truth and Maine: Fe eS re ain wantaron ani Batavia na thon, see ha Ae VORIpAIRAStaua' tS ile Kors wares for} _ ed the secret. but the truth fas © 6 6 th divert then t Walee: thi ' © Was # saloon wher , w i ‘i nN Si inteaa Aw i ona uf perapira- divert mur nt t ther , a Baie BOW ee a Vorsyosighs Rouragesaed, 7 aig: ae wiped AWAY Scan hia foonena marie you © © © ©O Letrayed bis excitement » con ’ +A) Baowkl up! yothe MF morning, M. Dudouts reevived a tele ton that trickled down his forehead, Li Ee iravey UIs. spcltenienh) Saremantclie sind te ie to in 10! seam and after « further questivn from M1, ! ner a ae Ore ut look hare, | ooh MS ! - Woah ie. bah ice to witie Date pull. hinelt together, awai- 124 buses igh’ remain unknown." Wage NUT ear Gait a ol y some mor: - “GANIMARD.” lowed 0 glam o€ water and 1 ; A confederate , cama: Me Me ‘come, minke for woursale j | ei a toe? ove at owant to xo “Lupin haa often got the better of Goulet. “A confederate, m amon, yon : y - a ; ok here, Ganiiard,” «aid M, Du- © ® © and who managed to hide in the “Nonsense! What do you inear ahanke ‘There be ws v' 1 pee, teetlve, ani’ Hoe. Pika ry era » Why eantt house after the party had broken up.” "Go on, Chief! | ; ° for who aoe te set ape er Na ppahel sears ig Tata Malteeta te . : ” ! t! to have deen Lupin's acaomplico” siclan aoa Sao ie laying up t y une! wit had every confidence in Ganimard. He me tn two words woats enpened, a Getting warm! It sonra Meat koe 0 a felis | ‘The performers ¢rooped up to the c 3 ? ty, the ufcom'Inew his man—knew that the wld Ge- “No, Chief,” rgtor! ne C - omeernod If @he docs #uch a thing, ft Nu tw ly, ut (To Be Contineess ‘bar tm the front end, a Gey were ow By C. M. Payne Copygst, 1019, by The Pras Puviinting Co, (Fhe few York Breving Wertd), w Anecdotes of the Old-Time Actors uw By Edw. Le Roy Rice. (Author of “Monarchs of Minsirelsy, from Daddy Rice to Date,” oc. 1913 wg Be ve [WHAT THA J Dine Dine ihe of Your Looks By Liane Carrera Daughter.) ful craving to appear emart and grows up. If do not blame them, bet I amt ourprised that their mothers are ee feds Ing in good senge and true aesthetic Gi» cernment. Nothing {4 #0 lovely as the fresh Mite and roses of the young girl. The mmx ture patrons of the rouge box are reali trying to imitate her. Why, then, emeatd Bhe attempt to imitate her imitators? Under normal condttiona platn, or@i nary #oap and water are the heat com moticn in the world for procuring amt Preserving « clear, rosy skin. Don't bé Afraid to wash your face often—severat times a day. If the akin is temporarily roughened! by too much wind or sun bathe it is water which hag becn mixed with 9 Uttle glycerine and rose-water. There Are some pereons who cover thelr faces with cold cream every night on going t bed, but I have never felt it necessary to soll my pillow-case in such fashion, Only rarely do I use cold cream—it, for instance, T have been motoring in 8 sharp, atrong wind. When I look at myself in the glaay and find that I am getting @ little pale, what do you think I do? TI plunge my face quickly Into a basin of water 54 cold that it ie almost like tce-water and then I rub hard with @ dry towel. In my case the treatment ie always ;% remedy for some, 1 T believe that the right sort of mae nage in tho best preventive of wrinklen Naturally, I do not have to worry atow! them yet. But even now when I em tired, when I find that ti corners ef my mouth are drooping and that dark semi-circle are appearing under my eyes, I smoothe out my face by « little gentle rubbing. ‘The motion should ai ways be upwerd and outward, and given ightly but firenly with the very tips o! the fingers. imple food and much fresh afr are other Invaluable aids in retaining the Glow and texture of one’s skin. Hii, ly ‘The Pre Publiating Co, (The Mew York Krewing World), adout to “put away” thelr liquid ap freshments, there came from the rom room the strains of “Sally in Om Alley,” aung only ope man tm tq world could aing (tt, ‘The gtaaue dropped to the bar “Boys,” sakl Emerson, “thete Tex Dixon, A rush was nade for the rear, were it transpired that the “‘sallor* none other than the great tenor He had gone to Avetralia mpany, It disbanded and worked hia way home as an ordinary weamai, duriig which time he grew the long red whiskers, | Did he get @ Job with Kmerson? Tea did't know have ask UBHE'S an old proverb, and while T | nay not give it tn tte exact lag. suake. (Goes something Ike thies © svoken word; the lost opportunity Jand the sped arrow never return Thé | following refers to the second clause tn | the proverh, amd ts the truth, the whete [tuts a jothing but the truth: When Prof, Bell, inventor of fhe telephone, Wanted to give a demonstra tlon of him invention” some youre jase wot rua } the stock and ket the capital required, he found f theatre @ few y to engage o vuishle of Boston for the purpess yroving Ni claims vin theatre was ma Me) Why avked $16 from uw to, Mr. Uell on ad $12, and Hirst offered Dyer a dinck of stock fi leo of the money, w tho latter r fuyed, but agre Bell hay | the cae of bile or the #2. The Jayentor, show Die appreciation, ten offered (0 GIVE Me Dyer 4 few shares of the stock: but the manager thought [eo litle of the whole thing that he de clined to take it ¢ as aw gift, Thate why | head tals ttle story, ‘Lost, @ Million. LONGING FOR THE OLD DAV® Do you tink the country i Bree perous” "Yee," replied Senatur Sorghum, “lit what's the gool of having a whole let of wealth when. nobody dares spend aay of it for votes ur duftuense?’—Win- jeMeacious, though it might be too hergiz” . |