The evening world. Newspaper, July 8, 1913, Page 14

care The Evening World Daily Magazine. Tuesday. July Cre aise aaiorio. TCG be ae Otiorl Can You Beat It? @. Pubiished Dally Except yf the Press Publishing Company, Nos. 53 to ISN'T THAT A BEAUTIFUL rk Row, New York. Preaident, 68 Park Row. rer, 63 Park Row. wiBec UNSET 2 IT'S MUCH FINER HAN THey ADVERTISED In ine BoowLet Copyright, 1918, _* Frese Publishing 6, atte Rew York renteg We SEE THAT Fish wifey, INEVER EXPECTED To GET ONE LIKE THAT RALPA PULATZ: 3. ANGUS SHAW. JOBEPH PULITZER, Jr.. Entered at the Post-Omice Buvscription Rates to The FE World for the United States Canad ‘Secretary, 63 Park Row. ter, Continent and / All Countries in the International $3.50 One Year. 30 | Month. at New 3 as Becond-Ch: ie, ngiand and ti VOLUME 54....... Liev beh Gacivtyy veyteds eee NO, 18,049 EVENING UP. WENTY-FOUR PERSONS were drowned in New York waters T during the three Fourth of July holidays from Friday to Sun- day. Thirteen were drowned on the “safe and sane” Fourth itself. On Saturday four persons Jost theit lives in the water, while four others were saved only by heroic efforts. Sunday seven more were drowned and seven crcaped drowning by the narrowest margin. The same day two were killed and eight injured in a crash on & roiler coaster. In the record of gunpowder accidents the Fourth was the safest and sanest ever. It would almost seem, however, as if the celebration of the national holiday were reluctant to give up its wonted human sacrifice, Few of these twenty-four deaths from drowning could be traced to deliberate carelessness. Several were the result of brave attempts at rescue. As powder and flame relax their grim hold on the Fourth, boat $iig, swimming and othor more or less risky amusements come for- ward to claim their toll. It is difficult to keep down the percentages of calamity. WATER 1 VE EVER BEEN IN, WIFEY; You CAN'T SINE OR GET WET ~ The novelty of a circular court house 1s sald to have frightened the skittish Justices, So Architect Lowell ts leading them sround and around until they get used to it. ed AS TO TANGO TEAS. BODY is surprised to hear that the afternoon dance has found N favor at Newport. Yet even where people have nothing to do but think of ways to kill time, dancing in the afternoon ie @ confession of mental and moral vacuity. We must sadly admit that New York sank to this level months ago. Tango teas and four 'e’clock wiggles are old stories at hotels and restaurants, and even at private houses hereabouts. After the day’s work is done, when lights are lighted and fiddles strike up, dancing is natural and delightful. Dancing during the sight hours carries at least the healthy implication that people have something more useful te do during the day. Save at children’s parties or on extraordinary occasions civilized folk have always done their dancing after sunset. If the turkey trot, bunny hug, grizzly bear and other animalic two-step are responsible for the afternoon dancing habit then the its of these dances have « strong added argument to prove oe Momersliing and decadent. Dancing by day is like eating choc- alates before breakfast. It denotes a depraved appetite, a flabby mind, and a frivolous disregard for the fitness of things. ——— —___ The American Agricultural Commission finished its labore in Peoria, The last Gay's work was brought to a close with an un- official upper at the best known night restaurant on Mont- martra—Cadled news item. Oh, these farmers! ———_.4 2 WANTED: A SANATORIUM FOR GAMBLERS. DOCTOR who believes that gambling is a curable disease de- clares that “a gambler is as dangerous as an alcoholic, more dangerous than an opium fiend. There scems to be no rem- edy for him but a sanatorium—not to call it an asylum—where long enforced abstinence from his vice may induce new habits and bring ebout « saner outlook on life.” We should be glad tr find somebody public spirited enough to build such a sanatorium, advertise it attractively in Monte Carlo, Wall street and like places and await results, It may be that in time shall need only a doctor’s diagnosis to put anybody who needs “a saner outlook on life” where he can get one. Until then gamblers, finan- clere and experts in similar vices will take the cure or not as they choose. The only luck we can hope for is that a few of them may epeounter periods of “enforced abstinence” in jail. If juggling with money—particulariy other people’s money—is really a disease, we wonder how big a sanatorium New York would have to build to hold local patients in need of treatment. Aud Room an NO EXTRAS ., pA For 2 HAAAAAAAAABLAAAAAABBIAAAAAANDAARBBS Mr, Jarr Discovers the Lost Art of ‘‘Becoming a Captain by Mail’ AHMAAAAANINIIAIIAN BAL AAARALAABAAS |arouna the beer olla, regarded Elmer with deep respect. “There ain't nothing like an educa- tion," he sald, “As soon as @ feller gets an education he won't work any more. My oldest boy, Shidne; An education that for @ whi regular loafer.” “Sure,” said Gus earnestly. “Look at them fellers what come around and pass bad checks on you There's educa- tion! Look at that bummer, Dinkston. Ther fan't Mr. sarr stood, almost cut the papers by the pressure of the pencil he brought to bear on them as they cluttered the Dinochle table, “Hush!” said Gua “Eimer is getting ‘& perfeusional education, When Elmer come to work for me he was real Il- ltery—almomt ilegitigous, you might say. And look bow he can write now! ‘Why, you can see the table shake. He writ s hard and strong as I can, al- mont. Mr. Slavineky, who had been waiting with Mr. Jarr while Gus packed Ico “Well, te this @ high school or is tt ® tavern@” asked Mr. Jarr. “All I bave Deen getting is an argument on educa- tion. What I want is a beer. A vis deer, and @ cold one.” ‘In @ minute,” said Gus. “Oniy leave Elmer alone." “Bure, leave him be" said Mr, Slav- insky, “When I am doing any writing at my,home my wife don't let nobody bother me. ‘Keep quiet, children, say, ‘Popper in writing his nam in Idear of mine,” said Gus co. Coorg, Nas York Brewton Waris = 66 ELL, why can't Elmer walt “Weather like this, and hirety traveller the 't you iquor store!" reaching The Veil of Beauty. An “All-Cper-the-Eyes” Headdress, Grom The Sketch.) h for anything in my | Gus. “Ain't I wait: | I'm through putting are mered and punched at the cracked | was oesring yA ee &@ pall under the brass “home plate. Just over the faucets at the centre of \¢ fe studying,” explained Gus. ‘He te taking what is called a “course in seamanship and navergation’ from «| nuttical college in Denver. A dollar ® week and by mail.” “A nautical college?’ repeated Mr. Jarr in surprise, “Yes,” said Gus, “after what 1 been through with on account of my motion- boat, which Rafferty got me to name |{t ‘The Sweitzer Cheese’ and pai | Yellow and bore it full of holes, I | Blmer should have to learn the ocean vaptain business. So he is taking les- ‘eons by mall trom that nuttical college “What's Elmer doing, studying for the law?” asked Mr. Jarr, as he observed the perspiring Elmer, Gus's assistant, deeply immersed in a lot of papers, and otes in lead pencil on them, Liberty must be limited in order to be possessed.— Edmund Burke, died July 8, 1797. Cos Cob Nature Notes | | Sr Yad hiaime We® R £. F. BIGHLOW'S Nature Factory, called Arcadia, over &t Bound ‘New York Breaing apace, It is the headquarters of the Agassis Association 24.—THE EAR. nature points on wisdom. Dr. Bigelow has got eo he can ‘2 human ear is divided into three e handful just as if they were grains of corn, Yet one I arte—the outer ear, the middie 0. man nervous Jf te leet Boplien lost, ear and the inner ear. When we Riverside Yacht Club has built a big wide plassa facing the Bound, | wash our ears we wash the outer ear. can alt evenings in the cool breeze and listen to Lish | 3: consiste of the part ¢ py speaking to the meen, side the head and the corridor shell clams are plentiful just mow. They can be had at low tide by | leads into the head. In this corridor if the digger can find @ bit of beach that ts not pre-empted by some | find wax. [ar wax is not an uncleanly in keeping the een and the acenery to himself, rmed in a little channel commotion over putting Judge aries D. Burnes out of the Burrow York papers, whioh ts going some. in the words of a famous peem, nnigin.” The last word refers in this struggle between Love and Duty that | ea: being @ Democratic Deputy Sheriff and a | Guarding the entrance from the outer ear to the middie ear is the eardrum, It is o@ tiny, delicate membrane Go on!" sald Mr. Jarr, replied Gus. "Don't we have fishing a lot every summer? And like we have to hire boats be captains, Elmer can-be a By this time condition of apped the papers with his ope: |. Jumping up, he tore his yellow jhabe and groaned in German that he } would kill bimself. “You tal dollar down and coming forward, in @ crazy house or be a soda water clerk! What tan being a captain got to do with a lot of numbers and mean: uring the sun? 1 can row a woat, and when I come to this country I come over as a steward on an ocean ship to et the drum te called the hai m This 1s jointed to the middle one, called the anvil, and thie, in turn, fe Jointed to the stirrup (eo called be- cause It ts shaped exactly like a atir- Nem, think of Coney leland or a Far Ro 4nd blowing the whistle at night to O NE engagement doesn’t mi ye depth of his love can always be measured by the height of his folly. ( THs 1S We Most EXTRAORDINARY | thing which is distasteful, annoying, boring or fatiguing. studying how to be) t} Tt puszl “Te 8: 19135 - | ig Girl . Copsright, 1013, by The Pres Pubiiey ing Co. (The New York Evening Words, Cre 6 , Every marriage, like every rarebit, is just a blind experiu.c@t | and nobody on earth can tell the particular reason why it turns our “smooth” or crumbles to pieces. 4 Of course it is {logical and inconsistent for a “ccufirmed bactetor | tirl” to marry, but sometimes it is better to be loved then logice! and} happy than consistent. { The moment a man begins to get serious he begins to get foolieh; ane “Consctentious scruples": That which prevents a man from doing ree | A summer man’s Dream of Heaven: To lie in a hammock, slpping los. drinks and Ietening to a girl who adores him ‘ell him how wonderful be. {s, while he smokes her father’s cigars. ¢ A man {s not a “confirmed bachelor” until he can be rejected by @ woman without the slightest pain, and feels nothing but mild amusement at the discovery that one of them {s deceiving him. While the summer sun shines the farmer makes hay, the bees make: honey, the hotels make money, the motorist makes time, But the wise maw, just makes love. A fashtonable woman's idea of success in matrimony appears to consist in getting out of it with plenty of alimony. The Salespeople : and the Hot Days By Sophie Irene Loeb Copsright, 1913, ty The Prem Publishing Co, (Tue New York fresing World), WAS In a big department store. [t, "I am Just trying to find an edging wan a very hot day. I stood by a| of lace for the sleeves of that old blue, counter walting for a young sales-|‘ress T am fixing up. Which way woman who was) You goin’ ‘d trying to And thea, turning to the saloswoman, customer. She Glamissed her, saying, . customer was| “Oh, I guess I won't bother with tt looking at lace, to-day." Bhe w: And there you have an example of tain meeh, When| What Is enacted every day during thie she found the|hot wenther by the thoughtless ones mesh the pattern Was not right. When she found the pattern the width was wrong. One piece after ‘another the Patient young wo man brought out, obeying every s Gestion in regard to the requisites re: quired. Twice during the process the girl behind the counter mopped the per- spiration from her brow, but went on looking for the desired lace, Then the customer spied a piece in case that “Just the In order to had to disi She adjusted this Plece of lace in question. dently THIS did not sult elther, Then the customer ed myother Kind entirely that “mig! " And the worker turned in search of this, After she had lifted the heavy box down and displayed some more lace a passer- by called out to the customer: “Hello, Genevieve! Awfully glad to ee you.” And the other greeted her, saying, Perchance this particular customer had come into town and was going back to some cool porch in the country: while the girl who had spent eo much time and energy and patience In pleas- ing her, WITHOUT satisfactory results, was going home tired and weary to a Ittle, hot apartment tn the ctty, I wondered if the customer reatized that she had CONTRIBUTED to that wearlness, Oh, I say, folks, It Isn't fair? The warm weather ts trying enough to the Individual who has little or nothing @o, but to those workers In the atore, the office and the factory @ little CON. SIDERATION now and then goe: long way toward making the heat lees oppressive, the sordid side less real and the way lens weary, Tt Is no diMcult matter to se one's mind, especially during this trv- ing se in wanted: and not to too EXACTING, espectaliy in TRIFLING mattera! Just a little forethought In the dails Gealings during the torrid season witt fave the temper of all parties con+ cerned and alleviate the burdens of the workaday tndividua’ A Man With the Grouch. By Eugene Geary, Coprright, 1013, ty The Press Publishing Co, (The New York Reesing World), \ gM @ dacint, honest vother An‘ even our Assimblymin I An’ a lifelong Dimocrat, An’ Aldhermin, begob, An’ now I find it mighty hard Don't go thro’ no Civil Service To know just where I'm at. To annex tiddy job. T've huntl4 at the primaries ", An’ on election day, ‘Authronoiny an’ Jommethry, An’ I'm looking for the atey thing! Cube root an’ Japanese, hah hivat Goniea sae) Ad, Algibbra, an‘ the divil knows How many more degrees. Wid these ye'll be acquainted For athreet cleanin’ or the copa, An’ then, if ye can't toe the mark, Why, somethin’ surely dhropa,” | “Tis bec | of Civil Service,” dher said last night; “If that was only downed,” says he, “Then things would run all right. 1s me complate,” he says, meself agin, jee some to this conclusion, ‘ther lyin’ ke O° ni {Tis purty hard decal ee To get what's fair—their rights. ‘Tig as alsy findin’ gratitude | In politics just now As the inilk of human kindness line Coney Island cow, ¥ got to do nest workin’ min? “There's Ambassadures to furrin parts, An’ Congrissmin likewise, In order for to land all right ‘They merely thrate the b'ys. Pat and the Clock. ! KE of the inmates of a New York insane erylum, on Irishmen, was sent to an ad- jotuing ward to find out the correct time, | He returned in @ moment and announced: Serres | ““Twinty minutes t’ twilve,” Not Yet. faze you sure that clock i right?" be wat | ome x yolitician said: if d, 7 : Holght, ie itt" be replied, “Dive think it will aia Sere wud be im’ this place tf it wus roisht?”—Judge, hey trv like little Tomay ss f id Nttle ‘Toumen: “yuu as mm; "you know | 0 Homoe! Well, a, Jim aad Horace say" thos prayers every wight and ssh God to ey ep od 19 mabe ew “A horm, of course, att,” replied the coma agi horse, eh?” said the profesor, abe “Well, rub it out and do ti over Youth's Companion, are Ue im water af | Applause. HIS aci opens with the wife addressing ber TT "iistina severe Blog’ sald ibe (ati “How ev slumber was banished, which made little |stretched tightly across this entrance, | Honoks Why should T want to be u! ohh, 8 emenenr from sap. dremmabee father, “Mow orip of cabaret ot: t go that it vibrates every time a sound captain? A captain of waiters in a be ain't dowe tt yet, pa,’ the unig night until 9A. M., are jl MD piglld wave strikes It, In the middle ear, ly- hotel, yes. A ship captain, no! It'e too | | Bring ansthing pretty ire ie bebe ."*— Howton Herald, seh ‘Converse has saved out of hie taxes |!0S Fikht againet the drum is a little much | net a A ! ———>—_ pealed forth patriotically | 0M gee: ay a meee oa Hueonthe i ae * | more clothes uatil you pay the bill we owe beri"* Not Disturbed. “Did your dressmaker erad @ note like that?’ "1 live under the pulpal rup), ‘These three tiny bones are us- pended in alr in the middle ear, a they conduct a sound ve to the in- boat, as it's the lai at don't go for an hour yet.” * sald Slavinsky! “It must be rand life! J've heard them captains |owear ‘Qt people that, fell overboard, too, |e & business where everybody z apects youl” But Bimer persisted be cared only 10 " every work 1 always think 1 ad be ‘eetiisn