The evening world. Newspaper, July 31, 1912, Page 13

WDRAT THOSE PESKY FLIES THEY ARE WORSE THAN 4HE CITY VARIETY! WHEN 1687 AFTER Hen ULAR FLY SWAT TER AINT I POP? DE, THERE ANS _ EVERYWHERE. BY BYSRyDoODwy HRRIN KELLY says drinks to excess because he haan't got the capacity. The Hedgeville three to seven that patient will live. Horn says that very faw men can be as much of a man as a woman is when ahe is having @ tooth pulled. Mr. Derks says when his wife gets on the side of a cloud that has the sil- ver lining she shuts her eyes. _“I heard your deal resulted in $2,000 clean profit.” “Well,” hesitated Mr. Presise, “I wouldn't go so far as to say that, but it. madé @ profit of $201 was suffering—or, rather, his car was suffering—from punctured tire, irregular engine, defective sparkplug and a threat- ened dearth of gasoline, hooved him to seek the & He stopped a farmer. “Where is the nearest garage?” he demanded. Bout a mile up the road," ge with all speed. returned the son The autolst nursed his machine along with rage was @ good five Coming back along road, with machine repaired, he met tl loving skill, but the miles beyond. “Your-‘mtles' up here are pretty long.” ob- Served the autoist in flerce sarcasm. admitted the " he added in defense of his home dis-, ‘they're gol darn narrow.” “How is your brother getting on in the army?" He's so clever they tet him skip the first lieutenancy entirely and made him a second lieutenant.” | “Oh, splendidly. has become a science,” sald, according to the Detroit Free “The coach 1s to the bave- ers what the commander is to the soldiers on the battlefeld. “And the coach does all this with his mouth. considered rather lo- He's always being accused of I've even heard him lik- | CORRS Mero Mr RE Ta sae mate = eae) The little rustic postofice held a bunch of joy for Bessie, Bob wrote | that he was coming for a week-end. So Bessic's little fevt were busy all | that day climbing the mountainside, discovering new haunts and pretty ‘The public tn wi ‘No wonder, tuactous, eh? loquacity, you know. ‘ened to Mra, Tung. “*Wasn't your wife tired last evening after such a hard day's asked Mr. Tung. “Oh, very,’ hardly keep her mouth open.’” a@ friend once Betty replied. ‘Why she could Vincent's Advice “Say, is it harder to get along with a girl or without one?” Herbie and the Train. New York railway station, On Vacation. Y dear gtré*, @ great! T Is fine to be a genius. always quite as pleasant to be his Here are a few cases seem to prove It Shakes peare’ you ate about to} go on your vaca) tions. Pleas cept a few words —e been miserable. supposed to have We know that Milton's Bernard Pallissey's wife starved le her husband burned up her fur- niture to further his pottery inventions. Neither of Napoleon's two happy or well not let the holi- ence you to do you're going to do w you will later dis) dave at the seashore? ma where It fe Jullus Caes @ notortously bad husband, Henry of Navarre was a worse one. wife was made wretchedly her husband, up" acquaintances while you are away. | always an lllbred and frequently a dangerous thing’ to do. Do not laugh loudly and indulge in! practices at public 8 of, eutertainment. not give your home address to overy casual acqua: ance who asks for It. . Do not wear absurd and the dmpression that you night, and if Me in bathing I'll be mighty glad a have {t)f can take care along, and— (rate! biographers) Thackeray's wife spent mos of her wedded days {n an insane asylum (although this was no fault of her hui Lawrence Sterns's the case thty minute and take tha leave him. These are but a handful of instances out of clothes unde Short Acquaintance. * writes: “I met a young man ata friend's house, and he walked home Then he wanted to know If he could call on me regularly. think IT should allow It, on such Queer Methods of Some Artists. REINCH art crite writing of the way in which the artist, Claude tickets, Ferdir which outdoors hardly lasted two min- The painter Harpignies has told his ‘rlends of the days when he worked be- side Corot in the garden of the Luxem. | paints the rame picture over again tr different colors, giving ten I don't see why not, {f the young man| able, Ferdie? * first impression. him, tf you wish, i made a pleas. painting a great tree In the middle of |°4" always 4 \ walk Where there was no tree, “Where do you get that?” I asked dn order to work close ten canvases him each day and accordingly Mght changes he places on his easel the canvas that corresponds most closely te the moment with which Inget the effect he desire But he does not He makes plepur In proof of thi to his several views of the Grand Canal at Venice, where he has taken all kinds Lately, Mone: or a pack mule ‘T am a business twenty-nine years old, am fn love with a man who me to marry him. am capable of making as c home for myself ashe can give ine Shall T marry?" Certainly, 1f you love him. them orange ¢ (ignoring sa sake, miss th. (sw “‘In here,’ he said, tapping hYe fure- But with my salary T paint entirely from mphs under the trees. Where do you get these nymphs? I asked him, “'Oh, I see them,’ he answered quite critic polnts you'll tell me which one of the fifty I'm to go to to purchase tickets for Squan “Shall I pay a girt . T asked her to ‘Monet, however, is not alone in this, | the,mueh admired Millet, painted i landscapes in his workshop. e had no difficulty in painting after etre, for he had plenty of time in h @ler ‘to, dg. his arc-ey-ciel (rainbow), —Brighton (lowa) News, Saal (mpatiently)—ASK some one! * A NEW WEDDING MARCH. The bridal party came into the east parlor of the beautiful home led by the strains of Mendelshies wedding march, venient for me to phone her.” ie awkward. should arrange to do your own tele- you know the girl very miles out ef our wa The Evening World Daily Magazine, i © avi, cf Comrie, 39 jew Xork World.) % : ‘un Sgr Recreate MO places wh in the city. ed against a young woman who ts going among women's clubs rep Domestic Dialogues. by Alma Woodward Copyright, 1912, by The Press Publishing Co, (The Now York World), nd Herbie} Herb! orange Mr, and Mra, Mac se that makes it 90 A couple of flatirons? B. calmly)=No, 1] fo: n't a thingt a couple. I've only got] Herbie (logteaily)—Well, tf you don't hear me ask, ma, I don (gasping)-What? You've] a cinch, eh? An’ my throat feels sore, really got an yon in this thing? Well, | mat tell me what the—-what an tron for two ee) sore, dari (explaining) It's always a] Mr. 1.—¥es, 004 thing to have a warm tron to put) what part of your and you know those shi feels sore! very damp and chilly a © siould cateh cold; tickets! That's { Mr. B. Gneet I'm going to open!can drink all Hike you buneo! (omphatically)-YOU ARE | (Mr, B. @parte t Do you think I want my night-; Mrs. B, (serfou dresses and things to roll all over this sweetheart, m 1g)—Say, ma, look at sore nidlyy—Have you th Ma 1 ma (hotly) Now, you K I ne a What do you ask ine that for? t hurt ourself tale? | 1 pred Hly)—Aren't you disagree. | * vi You nev r used to be like) try, 8, (looking . Papa, Herble? ida eve He (nd A goat, wind)—Say, pa, look at atch the , for, Mrs, 1. (wi 80 OF papa wants us train 1 Hert tly)—Well, madam, if orangeade) Beac glad D) (Needles to say er) Aren't there enough employees around # here to suit you? Monestly, you make “#lting room) You'd rather drag us ten ofanke colored than ask a wingie °C ies " . You don’? want anybody 0 qutid and ’ Weanesday, July 31, 1912 Ho PoP Ise THEIR House THE WHoLe BUNCH 15 GOING IN AND OuT RON 4 7 CW) Se 44 OLD + AUN1S AND NEW oS Bows, By Eleanor Schorer 7 The Dishing Oe, da Bob could epend their time, And im the slow-going d Bob found consolation in visiting their favorite haunts ANOR. SOHORER, days that inte: esenting herself an Eleanor Schorer. The Day's Good Stories Stewed Weathercock. © irawibie mam had ordered a chicken, ac. conling to the Cinelni | bend them with what seen | creat effort, about as much as they | moved und | purchase am lfore. So that it almost seemed to me. | that the bars must have bean changes |tiat my coming had been planned for know that you don't know everything, ui | Commercial ib (third lap) look at them red things over there! B, (scowling) For heaven's} got somethin’ In sake, what have you got wu] Mrs, TB, (taking it out en Herble) ave anything Sjand me? Don't let mo hear you ask and an extra double steam ‘Thi ebicken's got tobe en if it is made of dr ‘Nhe waiter was dowlate aaid, "DUE that always was @ peculiag binky even oujectad to being billed, ay, aud we had to shoot it, sir flew ou the top of a" bons at the thou * said the old ganteman, shot at ft and brought down John, my friend, the weathersock by mista Ail fa forgiven.’ Why All Stood in Water. N our North of Bngland town there was « shift shhvog “ho was clogs dapending Waye Al Priddy tn hie took, “Tnvouss te Mrs. HB, (nervously)—Where does Oh, baby, tell mam- were cut and torn, Because now I could not tear them @way 1 felt that the were er than those which I body your throat He painted tan nevalenily inclined walls with rural swne © bad ‘vumned color blind Mrs. B, (indignantly) You go buy the need to tend to, of my ehildt y colored in glap Millie noticed that all the © Nut ong stood clear on the vivid ning dut T hate to sea a little, trusting thing she remarked to the oid man, do you always py wants you to tell The Worst in the Country, the landlord of this tv hotel is positively tho worst [have and Lye travelled all been Naney's. That, my firet « foljer that dowe it A Question of Value Arthur apd he ing himself, in eplte of his} ns Mn@ oMry, B. (Krabb! ne NOW! now 0 plainly before gas Mit, 1 bean to wonder, at frst tna faint, subconscious sort of way and mily misses the destret (as they tasted the jam yet ‘and T was just wondering uf OM We nice enough to be whipgad for! berwise ¢ tHe WHOLE: BUNCH AL AT ONCR! iThe By Wells LAGDADIG DIDDY (Capyriaht, 1011, by Bovte Merrill Co.) SYNOPSIS OF PREORDING CHAPTERA, Mason Elleworth, a youre New Yorker, nents for a large one marry Nancy Bor Tce “Hiram "wana to” eet dof land Nancy go to Mennay! they fall yee, ta love wit! ‘Thes are ated de (yy 8 tmayaterivas man whe calls himeelf 1 Morrison," aml who wears « brown derby. Doubting grat thelr marriage was par. formed ty a they “plan a second marriage oor town to get a licen jancy has ' ng bee ned by Morrison and A trained purse. "Maan atarta in poreuit, He traces er to Muckingham, where apd Im. Lathrop go Miso, "woalee. the. walls. o Kinde ene bata windre er they “try. to plan ee Li merrning “try, tath ven tn the sani ’ Mason ne Monee: he proprieter, that Atra, Tathimp Ja his. ried hunt, whom be withes to" lock 7 tered at He encounters, tn one toom, a Je, Pmatclenne Ging, to he for Nancy, Magon ts loeked in, CHAPTER XXV. The Encounter. ITI the @heer and utter dixgust awept over me. I had come very sure of myself, quite n that before an hour assed 1 should have Nancy free again and that she and Mra, Lathrop and I would be well on r way back toward the village I eunt to do all this, aw T have wald, by stealth; but T had quite realized the possibility, or even probability, of some sharp personal encounter, and in my heart of hoarta I had secretly looked forward to it, Rut suddeny to find myself trapped and bolted tn had not for # moment ed inte my oning. Thad beer ht and locked up Ike a sehoolbo and for a while a sickening sense of humiliation triumphed even over my anger, & w#ense that sapped at my Strength like a very fe Kiven now T hate to reeall the mon to bring back again to anemory the petulant and weakened force with which I put my shoulder to the door, only to hear a little groan of tts double bolted oak, and the roumh-volced, unfeminine gls- le that answered my effort from the other side. ° 1 tried the door again and again without success, but whether it was in- ed beyond my strength, still languor- ous with disgrace, 1 do not know, But at any rate, although I made the oak ery aloud and agalo, bolt and panel still held and all I got for my effort was @ brutsed shoulder Nor, when I had tried the window, did I have any better success with the bars. I could bend them a Ittle, to be sure, ed to me a my hand from my tr nk the Ivy the nigh and expected; and I « G No certain did this idea become to me, that I took no comfort from the fact that these bars, too, were rusty, that thelr heavy surfaces were 9 channeled kened still more and scarred by corrosion, that my kloves, and even the palms of my hands, nt so easily the evening before, whic: ainty added by !mpiteation the tainty that P had fallen into @ well-latd trap. I felt that when T at last found Nancy again 1 could searcely look her In the eyes, but must stand with bowed head before her Ike some birched After an ¢ of th f thing I felt in my pocket f oh to find that I had lost them, Sul- lienly 1 thought back until I remembered ad struck one mateh when st frst found the room in darkness, but, in my surprise at the barrenness tts flare re aled T must have dropped the box Meh held the others. So now [ went wnon my hands and kneew, and, be the creeping thing 1 already felt elf, fumbled the floor in search of At last, near the door, [ recov ‘ them, and by the ight of the frst one found the fixture and He the Jet This really was the room which had the Jumping, Mickering 1 very tra her occu tthe great chair with tt ght showed me. had gone tattered overing, whieh had stinwutshed he Jown room f the others t ever fn my «er Jark | had known It to bea NangWs roo a while 1 was so selfishly « in the thought of my com when Tshoutd (nd her, that even my curiosity was deadened; but with the bare little reom so lately hers, and in the Jumping with a eu den’ leaping apprehen- sion, whe hey had taken her, that Thad felt, even without a full Higation, that she was only {romewhere else.in the bullding, that tn moving her {rom this room they had |simply put her in another; and that, co 1 Was out, | should find her wh ever * was, But now @e my vague oF Man in the Brown Derb A Great Summer Story of New _York urprine a wave of Morrt and to tho right with the hand that held the revolver, so that, as I up and struck him in the face, bis e ballet went behind mo inte the r 4 «Fo Be Continued) P B Love ere! yi Hastings isquiatude took a and sprang tn a man mpeculation to post thought of that menacing figure of the man in the brown derby came befor me, and I found myself standing stark afraid, cold with dread and a © suming, murderous rage; for, of a sud- den, Lhad remembered the “dark room. It was at this moment that the door @wung open, and the man in all the worki whom I most desired to see steppeed in. L had not heard the bolts undone, but now IT heard them ally Into place behind him. I think he had meant to meet me witiy some mocking commonplace, but he must have seen the murder tn my eve: and Like a wise man determined te bide his time; for almost as the door shut T found myself looking into the mouth of a revotver, “Sit down,’ sal@ Doctor Morrison, very quietly, Very reluctantly I turned and took the great, tattered chair which had once heen Nancy's, 1 wished with all my fest te Meir g non et; for stand- in could pette; hom tunity, and when | take it tage of it. But this was probably the Treason he desired mo sitting, and tt Was perfectly evident that he wished nothing better than some excuse far pulling the trigger. When T wan onee @oated, however, he Your particular form of insant began, “interests me ¢ xtremal. sure you that we have very few patients who come here of thelr own accord, In fact, In all the time that L a been connected wit! thi« institution, T do not remember any one realized that he muat #tay bere for it volntarily seek- ing such a lengtiy course of treatment Md confinement.” Where have you put ver?’ T asked, Vell," he said, “this is another pee Har feature of the one of the rarest coincidences in my judgment In all psychopatide history. You doubtless believe, and T suppose will calmly assert, that you were marri ag! and that some one n your wife away from you, You will say sour name ts Elsworth, and that you weep tried to a Miss——-what's her name? —fond, T betleve is the name. ‘That wouldn't he #o funny, except for the colneldence; and that, to my mind, ts screamingly humorous. You may not believe tt, but I forgar, that, of course, !¥ exactly what you do belleve—but we have a young lady "hore whose name really ts Bond, whose pe- cullar form of hallucination jen Hike yours; that she was married a short time ago (and this will amuse even you, Incredible as it may seem), to « named Ellsworth. 1 readily must wi @ paper about it. Of course the thing may be simply a colneidence, and yet 1 cannot belleve but that T have discov- ered a new form of hallucination, whiea T propose to call ‘telepathte tnwantty." * 1 watched him very carefully as he Spoke, He was evidently much pleased with himself, and the co clone: Almost sparkled, with pleasure Once or twiee he oven waved. the ree volver In @ sort of explanatory gestur. & gesture which IL soon hoped to m him repeat. T saw him at close qua ters, 4 Wan almost ay tall ax I any whose thick, sloping shoulders, long arms and broad, muscular hands pron ined a strength beyond the ordinary- 9 strength which, he would only wave tho revolver a dittle farther to one aide I might test without too much risk of leaving Nancy without @ protector. “Do you propose to keep me here tn- definitely?” T asked, more for the s1ké of saying something than from anf curtosity as to his answer, Dr. Morrison smited. “T really can not say," he said, with & @hrug of his shoulders; “that will be & matter for the other dactors to deci at some future Perhaps in a te ears they migit manage to effect your ire and #0 release you. Personally I am severing my connection with i 5 t institutton. T may be oversteppiny 1 cal boundaries tn making this contest! a patient, but great good fort kos fools of us afl. Fam going to ha 1, Mr. Kllaworth Minit J inquire, I asked, “It your Plans include bigamy?” Now, Mr. Ellsworth, now, now.” The moge ‘you try tw Wwasier lucination ef yours, the m re to a cure, Tam going to marry Miss Bond, an oki patient of mine who, ts almoat cured.” The revolver waved so far this time at my muscles tautened for aspring. tured?" I Yes; w sreat hopes of our treatment, We haye her— T prompte: you have hi naps I had better not tell yo! “Just as you like, T said, as indiffe ently as T could, lowering my eyes that he miwht not see the rudden mitré der in them. Well, you'd better h fe then, after sald Doctor Morr a Just he- fore you dropped in here, we thought it best to remove her to the dark room,” Where?” I managed to say, "The dark room,” angwered Doeti on, and pointed indefinitely down wk. Pr