The evening world. Newspaper, June 22, 1912, Page 3

“AN INFERNO,” THE EVENING WORLD, SATURDAY, JUNE 22, 1912. SAYS ADE; “WASTE OF TIME, 33 COMMENTS BRYAN Wives of Deleg ates at Baltimore; SWINDLER FORGES 4 NAME OF TAFT. TO y CONVENTION PASS, ‘SOME SIDE LIGHTS CONVENTION AN’ INFERNO GALLERY FLOWERS FADED, GEORGE ADE COMPLAINS County Chairman Says Jawing Match About Those 90 Contested Seats Will Last Until Election Day Next November. BY GEORGE ADE. (Coprright. 1912, by George Ade.) Chicago, June 21, Vance Jimison, Antioch, Ind.: MY DEAR VANOE—If I seem to ramble, don't blame me, If I start te tell you about the contest in Michigan and wind up with a quotation from Sereno E. Payne, just remember that reason sometimes has an excuse fer tottering. ! We etarted out this morning with a long ten mile march ahead of us. Up to the present time we have| made about 100 yards. I stayed in the convention to-day long enough to make sure that the Juggernaut| was being operated according to or-| ders, and then I had my body placed on a trolley car and shipped | back to the hotel. 1 am euffering, bu® I am glad I came, for the convention is setting &@ new world’s record. It has been four days in getting under the wire. All night and all day the great Re-| publican party has been picking up those ninety delegates one at a) time and looking at them through a microscope, and asking questions, and trying to find out if they are} honest and square and according to Hoyle. To-night “that are al! aforesaid ninety | hanging onto their seats.| Old War Horse From So. Carolina sete an bo CavoteelMM, J, BRYAN DISCUSSES THE WORKING OF A ROLLER _ <4 Fight, Will Be Ready to “Eulogize | the Deceased” as Soon as the Corpse Is Identified BY WILLIAM JENNINGS BRYAN. (Copyright, 1912, by Virgil V. MeNitt. | CHICAGO, IIL, June 22.+-This convention seems likely to make up quantity what {t lacks as a producer of harmony. jrightfully entitled to sit in a convention that Those who were honored by a place on the temporary roll call are still there and those who falled to secure recognition atthe hands of the : tional Committee are still in outer darkness, but the machine moves on. The Taft forces lack a little more than fifty of the number of the light brigrade, but they seem as little dis- mayed as the heroic band of which wo read in our school days: “Can- non to the right of them, cannon to the left of them, cannon in front of them, volleyed and thundered, eri ee ve byte RASA. asiaONaEReNS FIFTEEN HISTORIC FAILURES IN THE ART OF COMING BACK. + arene Stormed at with shot and shell, bold- win SRNR neT Pil ly they rode and well, into the jaws : Terhune.) ‘of death, into the mouth of ‘ell"— jbut I shall stop here as I do not care to express an opinion as to the | character of the combatants. It looks, however, at this time as if the 550 were going to make their escape from the jaws of death, so far as the convention is concerned, but we shall not know until the election Adam and (a). Wapoleon Bonaparte, Porfirio Dias, late of Mext. ‘The Leaning Tower of Pi James J. Jeffries. Cipriano Castro, ‘Venesuela. “Sixteen to One.” John Bull (1812). formerly of FOR THE EVENING WORLD The Commoner, Impartial in Chicago Here it is Saturday, and the Committee on Credentials is still at work trying to determine who are assembled last Tuesday, CHE request to all GRAVE AND GAY IN THE CHICAGO MUSS _> yworth Is Really Up Preside a score the day Nick Lor A yainst It—-Bames Col- William J. Barnes jr. of New York | to-day cashing bets with Yale “ara at the convention over the result of the | Harvard-Yale es yesterday. | Barnes in a tarvard alumnus and b sieged the press gallery during the races for the latest bulletins from the | crews, | Questions asked Nick Longworth by | ters ‘Are you going to join your father-in- law's new party?” WI yo faht him if he rune?’ I'm up againgt it," says Nick. matter what my answer would be I'd | got in bad, ae D kes my mouth shut.” | Spry,” sald the chief ex-| trying to get Into the | Sunn a “I am Gov tive of U convemiton hall after having left his! Ket at the hotel “You may be that, sald the pollee- man at the door, t it I have already 1 away from here a woman who sald she was Lillian Russell, a young kuy who told me he was Kermit Roos j Yelt, and a man who sald he was Si retary to the Ambassador from Ireland | or somevhing Ike that. You may be} | the Governor of Utah, and you look as if you might be a Governor, but there are too many false pretenses around hero thia week take any chances. Beat it. Spry did. to suffragette “stole Col, elt's crowd to-day. A big mob A strenuous Ro paper o vontidence Josiah Hartnett, MATCHLESS LIQUID GLOSS that won't come off. For office or home—automobile bodies — all fin- ished surfaces. Cleans, Disinfects, A », June 22—A_ typewrittes: to “Please admit the bearer sessions,” on monogrammed er the formed signature of Tart, has been used by @ man to swindle more than of convention visitors during who wore a @ A noand said he wae from Ar- wr done at the Coliseum, + told the police he had paid it to a man who claimed to be nd of the President and ‘Taft was indignant because lects Bets. many of his good friends had been shut out the big meeting. cs ntececeaenernaanead ile explained to me," sald Harte wirehek as Gada uty /Hett, “what a grand man President CHICAGO) aur ~ yg g AN Salt was, and that 1 was making of campaign buttons has been discov: |e aie ‘in shouting for Roosevelt. ered by a Chicago belle, daxtlel Then he auld he would unable to nliers in “Peacock Alley” of the Con-/ ise the ticket and he offered to let ar Hotel by appearing In a white} me have it for $19, which I gladly lace gown with various colored cam: | pald. paign buttons of all alzes, artistically | Investigation by the police showed Arranged tn rows on the front and back | {hat more than twenty of such Dam. of her dress, The effect ts startling, [POURS Gnops. t gives the shine Polishes. gathered under the balcony in front of | telat on, (At They have voted on themselves and! be) zien Seen weet (6560) ice Vwhat fate awalts Mr. Taft's bri @————— BRAN, Gis Conaresa' on @ plied sharee tick hardisare, ” farnitere, found themselves regular. No one ‘Bill Bailey. wade. = around e where that Roosevelt would soerehere, expected them to do anything else. | Miagare Falls. If we can judge by what happened yesterday, the bie Make a talk, Then the auffragette Standard Oil I told you the first day that the TEE COLONEL. [waste of time, The deliberations of the Committee on Credentials have not "ePPet out on the balcony and told Company i _ ne | resulted in throwing any new light on the subject. shave been stereo.“ WhY the women should vote, of New York , ————— ici onvention looked like a valley of| | typed, and the convention has dealt with them without much referefice to th . mm 7 The prize collection of campaign uti ret flowers on all the hillsides. 1 wish! 150,000 VISITORS merits of the case. I spoke of a waste of time, but the time was not really hadgoe ts the [Proud (eimenaion oneian to report that the valley is now a IN CHICAGO FOR wasted. The audience had a chance to enjoy Itself, several new men appeared Louise Clark, daughter of United States ee : In the moving picture that crossed the stage, and the convention entered upon an Marshal FB. Clark, of lowe sent pit of inferno and the flowers have THE CONVENTION. | era ot good feeling. ing in the Congress lobtye the tte] £OR JUNE GRADUATES faded. ! pee ri Man has been described as the animal that laughs, and but few of the dele. | 8% Coaxes the delegates to part with The hall has been engaged for next week. Excuse me. I am going to | CHICAGO, Sune % Ne wes sai bates | kates, if any, have failed to manifest this trait, Men who glared at each other a {elt State Gindlems. She had badges) Baltimore for a good rest. 1 am tired of this struggle between naked theft I sgn0 atrangets who came to| £W day's,ago now chat together and joke over the situation. Man im a queer jumerubie cemtelan hatter and in: | and eternal justice. I want to s# a battle royal among a lot of candtdates. | nea’ den reat and neve ly ep queer than in a convention. He is like powder— a n erous when confine ee, sted? If my feet improve I may go out for a while to-morrow, but I am almost nove Wert Pe ore dangerous when confined than when free, e i" . i how meat of the WZ , elegates, al ex sight 5 " <hr ay express f E ready to ignore any further doings down there at the Coliseum. | \initore wid on Monday| BUT THE MACHINE MOVED ON AT SIGNAL. v thelr finan: \\ Ve ki At Uncle Eek srould fay, “The h mae a aye) nt not.” the doctor have a0. ity it was sald not more! — When the Credentials Committee attempted to rush the contests the organized to-day | = ministered a dose of the old kind of medicine and !t is working. Maybe they wil giving but a few minutes to each, there were angry protests and threats of a | YY never have another whack at the patient, but while they have got him in bed volt. Finally the conceded timé, es much time sa. the nin of | | 2 and entirely surrounded by trained nurses, they are going to keep dosing him ; aia fi a Tia | Seaniads and ae até <plosloniwas averted | re in oy “Ko until the con = ever: i ih avant OCA latae ana? roving mighty useful down at the , wees than a dozen out of the black bottle even if It kills him. Tr be Meee Cea aha fa i ie Be Se anion : was sine banivonr because Men had a chance to testify to th that had been perpetrated on | have but hundreds a Liab AM AA TD SAU Ae TEAL L ACURA LAC ERLSS Aa das ioe etl ea i sacle vn ti the cen-| them, speakers had an opportunity to # anathema at the committee | threaten part to-night, © Y , : and to divide up ingurance money. a and to warn those responsible of the w 1 had a chance to |" tion, Uy; . ” , y . Satay Imply couldn't be an | det role dn few availed themselves of the . ot & 2 any of the delegates bh bee ° WON'T LET LOOSE OF ANYTHING THEY NEED. Bee ee ye Lan bervat Iacotsthaciincia soe: Dic Ohalrsvani Me! Ghaleiiahi N UaeiGuie (ORGMCTe IN REE TR Ce ATA TLICT Goer Cn ON OREEPUTERECEAOES Den aE on 4 dove \ ° o . 1 s Roosevelt is nominated. He is a conservative of the Uncle Joe type. | an, 3 i an, E demand to poll th and then the enwine | tore the National cm aa fe real " me Lis i me ty Nate Lear fasper bine nin by He Tf you whisper a word against Taft he calls attention te the fact that corn {#/ gave two toots, the ductor waved his lante and the well olled machine | petore the convenient eeanid eee eh Ing that he can be cured by Ostec y or istian Relence, 8 a mor sibel . lunged forward, i ‘ : Senn a NR ; a4 cents @ bushel and every farmer has an auto cinch that they won't be tle 9 spl uy newfangled treatment so long as He thinks that all the insurgent agitations are infected with soclalism, which} — ‘There t# nothing Ike debate to smooth out the troubles of a convention. The! All sorts of are humorougy < pa abe elon acrosenlon to Se ech < allt Tee ORR Pak Ike leprosy, only more so. ‘Theodore i# trying to tear down the! man who invented gay law did not understand the pacifying intl Gt pound 1 for OAeEe KOKA UR hk A good ma bars pee ee Ht me fan ook Prosecuting attorney he ad and convert it into « Luna Park menagerie, Pennaylvanta and | ses out of the throat Io odfathership. A tobe mi she nual slew of he toate Me sata he dan't want | Hl TS RR Ua ee Hee Tiere RechOHIME OIMeeiPLaNe Cae a Eee ching, init he] Namdaye jth the office If he couldn't gat lt uy Ms nad fangs a sg As. re sald to him, | J ios G tform, and views with alarm any proposition that would not) proof than haa yet been prese . but Fam firmly cony , by long attend. : wart 4 mary Pe » Sune m my Boy, ag Pe eran tralia causwing: hs ate el ano 8 have rec K. Mark Hanna ance at conventions, that there are few sorrows of # polltical nature that tree sia i | kal - nly oe i pean eae & iA VEE vee el I, 1 don't belleve that number two Is eny hired tool of the inte-ests or the con+/ discussion cannot heal, Even where satisfaction is not guarar a long con (A, a frre @enstian. Conse UNE Me Ter : les an 81] ising enemy of the people, He ix simply a person of set opinton saturated with tose, ike « apirited campaten, makes the contestants willlng to uccept almost Laer a e MRI Tonite HNN CEthAy. bali Mak oanicesare ALG CRE Bes the hysterical traditions of the Grand Old Party, T have met him and talked | anything if they can only get through DER they ona and Aeinmiaaite: Miah they. gal: Seu Sanit genre oy: 9644 end By. with him all week. Ie is breathing blue sinoke through his ore 1 trying It looks now as if the Taft es were In a ponition to dictate the terms of HAM CHEWER. surest abe oa A ogy jorary wontrol) ward to save things, dubt nt he Is Intensely relieved to know th. surrender, and there seems ttle Ukelihood of the President's withdrawing in . of this six day talking match, and they have got the ¢ rede itlals Committee and) «has been checked and he os trying to work himself into a be! | favor of @ comp: ise candidal Tam prepared to offer a certain ne t NOT TO EAT PORK they are not golng » 0) Kiag they need, ‘Chey will agree to any com- punt of ef bs thing will be all r n November, solation to whichever candidate Is defeated, but my cautious and conserva. 7 promise that doesn't ‘interfere with their plans, 3 Phat q M | merVae) HICAGO, June Several women] j_ We, are the from now until nex: November we are going to keep on Jawing avout those| INDEPENDENT, BUT NOT TOO MUCH 10. smndinwa | Ye nature makes me denitate top nee ® eulogy until the corpse is Men-! wig wore fo: lewers of the late John | Mule ial yapeix contested seats, As Tam right here on the ground, standing around out-| Number three tk the organization man who te willing to accept a modified | tite he : : Alexander Dowle, and who are now ot uy U digo the committee soseting with many other yape who need a shave, probably | platform and woul! vote for Cumming, but does not want Roosevelt because he} Yoking back upon the atrugete from the atandpolnt of an outsider, 1 nave AMAAMler Dowie, and who are now ‘ he siaatelnalaaee : ; Matt hac? und {x too all fired Independent and disturbing been able to watch the contest with imy Having felt the force you want me % mate al inside fact Read the speeches made in the} can't be 1 ‘ * Voliva, entertained the crowds outside convention to-day and you will know Sust as much about the squabble as T do. Number four is the man whose eves whine and whore nostriie quiver when | untted influence -of the two princi I have be bear with the Colleaum \q: dedluclia: agaluat tie pai ine eurtace) ‘and has The 1 aud his followers honestly belleve that they have been horne|he xpeaks the 1 ft Theodore Roosevelt, He ts for the whole programme of | fortitude the falling out that has converted twa friendn into bitter | ye pork as food, while ham sand ay oan Me eeeenas & | a ated, wurrounded hy stacks of aMdavite and. bundine ae| reconstruct! ye wun is piste In the Bast, ‘The thlal wave of trie dem ¥ | enemies. being attached to them as closely ax they have been to each other, | UMe UL RUFK am foo THER “aaa Th setend | typewritten matter. I have not read them because T cannot go Into the com-|i# wetting rendy to sweep the trickaters off the map. | forces of evil may! 1 do not foel as Keen! iam they do whut each calle ingratitude tn the other, f/ signe to. eat ‘ i Sba sonably sure t afte; Nt aia y the triumph o! put they eannot t off more than a| have welghed thelr public acts, or trl with fairness, anxious to give e sz ; « alvertiament MUST BE MAILED OR } mittee room, But T i one hat after all the sworn statements | delay the t ph of nt thi A rrp | * Rive each! phe women declared t had no \ 3 have been fed into the gristmiil nothing wilt come out at the other end except | week or ten days. It ‘e of the nomination 6 the neat of burglars) one credit for any kood that he hax accomplished, L have tried to be charitabl 2 AE Aa SEY a88 au NT POW GUE, of HOY GRADUATE te a ates who are agin’ Roosevelt down at the ( “8 a real convention representing the people ! be\to thetr faults, recognizing that we all have rtcomings and d to have Nae an alee 4 } CAUTION ABOUT BOLT ISN’T PEACE. matter what happens at Baltimore, : 5 OPBOGEL 10 ew sor teal YI) Importer of Diamenda | T never heard of a man on trial for hie life star UP to Dlond guilty bee| The real Roasevolt boys’ unbounded falth ts fanatical devotion. Mention FUNERAL ORATION WHEN CORPSE IS IDENTIFIED. Ing tue convention Hall tisard the: plea) ] Broadway, New York | et he thought the yovas prejudiced in his fay Me id not ft if] Promise to at rand he ulin Mt vo i thy nt He mould DAVs Th Nothing suceseds Ike success’; the change vote may convert nes Of the won ut ig el canen| OVEN UNTHL . i¢ nances are that he would be ey " a dore nominate a Pregressive Republican candidate for President by this time ’ : they were at the time munching the ham | 4 eee iano yee aera eee te he wawld: be sven: leny. iepgaed Mien sore not for number five | into a victors, and then thoa fawn and flatter who would have tur then were Lj a6 vas no plamec ce ‘ Jere te an Aaa the hour of darkness. Nieholag Murr a ‘About # per cent. of the delexates think that they are siting in a crooked! Number five ie the fellow 1 spoke of a while tack—th one who doemn't want | the hows Of darkens, | ||| atcha aturray Butler Make the Liver) awe nich doce not represent the Republican party and which was packed | tO bolt th besa ae ne Braye apa y ot notice ft 01 f them be Mt the alate tfor was ranvention, which docs e ranrenent the eaublosN Farid i) Whloh wan a Kea | OIE IDE. eon vent ical aboKewnan of the Progressive | Douguete, and ie will not wotion 4 If 1 hem hear my card. Mr. Roorevett the ‘Taft platform, | way a ti Do its Du ) } hl es ‘ pwd. He would tik kK In the White House, but he haw! will, in that cage, be the one who W n nee Kind words, and 1 shall take | Hose leaving the Coliseum bas mad and longing for a chance to get revenge. About 80 per cent, of the raging | CPOW4 7. eae fois i leasure in calling @ Jon to some of the aubstantial benefits he ha. "lof ty tracts in one 4% per cent., or 2% per cent, of the whol Abled mass, wants to se holt, | deen doing a lot of hi he i h care sha AES, te Sa He the Peoetae Rr aeT pomlbllity of leadership in a new party, if Mudwich of ham In the other | Nine times in ten when the liver ie right @xi rush into the street, hive a hall and have # convention of thelr'own, The other 40) With tie dove back ant CEUnS an Lali aiay 1 ne rty whould disappoint ‘ o> oer | stomach and bowels are right. Per cent, of the stricken minority cannot key themselves up to doing anything Ey Fee ee eee eee ee nt a ee eee ttealt farina een rev Gah eea Cee ate Bee Mra. Straus Lett | CARTER'S LITTLE quite as desperate as that. Many of them fear that 'f they ever started to yt ’ 4 RS TA EOE an TATE Cee DC Le eet biatatiae hud: ELE lise Mowe pt eeldGk e ka a sil yarn Ge Ausra krante’ LIVER PILLS ; FREEPORT RET PPE TERETE ee ores Verse Dar ; v1 t of the good wi to his « * on the other land, the . OF ake down, and yesterday b for the holt of ghtning would « I ; ig K devs, eite progres t don't wish to progress in company with t with pleasure, In that case tt would nu tnle to met and sons, Jesse, Percival 8 and Her pel a lazy liver to They want to-cantnis to be called Reointcane, y Delleve that the Pros | 6 >t »? the conve no f us organize t thi e would appreciate jt more. than tt would be to get wit " stance Straus ey give the value of do its duty. reasive cause will triumph and that the skilled machinists now in charge of the 0! baa lll al Bar Fs ays acd hy a liana estate ax $280,000, | Cures Con O14 estaished works Will be ousted as soon aw there {8 anothey full meeting of | WUUNK ‘ Z Pe Pe PO CMa Leneed halt ae Ta Pett etipation, the stockholders. ‘They want to get control by remaining on the premises, ‘They # four and fh 8 ie aving to the majority ahead | w an eddy’ crow f ies | indiger think they will have a better chance to blow up the present management if they Nee ee eee eee ne eee ee ae Dee ee eee ae acaa and? With [A tion, Pe ear e Notas ever a. ws fe me ie a Geta DUST-NO Cedared Garment Bag || $2 Meee sua ine umloaiicalnestioe se sain atsevent tel eusjared) witless lene ibe are 0 ith peace, but this suanenela pee eta edared Garment Bag ||) tesdscho, and Distress after Eating. b hich we have been waltng to see is now deferred 1 postponed, but th age ed vy 4 Bei eatiemeae of all tin sitier éitarence’ ust asctariaway aaie we lit way the pid that: Calltornie NEW JOB FOR GEN. AUSTEN. || Dust-Proof | Moth-Proof Sent Fa, Sasol Doon, Seal Bea y morning. ; 4m glad somebody 's pulling aan PSR Aa eee PR Insect-Proof Moisture-Proof Genuine oxb«: Signature 4 ow pin the b ACKLEFR yunty © ” ie io "1" ” let? . . V4" You sec, we have got tuto the habit of regarding this convention as mage ¥2U"* yf hairman, ‘ * The “Dust-No" opens on the side \ up of only two of the actors, As a matter of fact 1 think I have discovered ' | Parks for Queen Hclisaarercl Ga riitntn Bkey coon ay ype of paytixan this week : Detect the Gates| Gen. Davic sten wan appointed ry eecteagit 1 07, 0 ea BNe Satins: Wypee OF bartionn ini week, ROB GIRL IN PARK; Perea am el 8} Gen, David Austen wae Ae one in and take out without disturb- OO) Number one !# the boy guarding his meal ticket, He is standing on the bread a ent Barvara | superintendent of Parks for Queens yos u " fine because he wishes to Keep on eating. He haw to he loyal to the superin: SHE HAS REVENGE, through the ° following rergay, Commissioner Waiter G. Evot|H} ingothers, Closes with a double fold, ~ as hog ‘sp: elope every Saturday night a short dista She potnied fd a fa hacdiae 6k ex: , ecially , . , E ON MEAL ” E' i 7 D Ki alb a nt Fred Tableman, i . Seactsnaical ane is Add } Tesy HAY BYE ON Ml AL, TICKET Hee Ree eee Detective and Points Out seventer MI Mtagg street. The Iifiae dines to the extensive park ae turning yellow and laundered gar- READERS ‘ § del nd the 2 ‘ounc nto it locked nent planned for the borough ’ and the whole office-holding contingent from everywhere belons to this school of » Youths. PE cactue ties Riniiened du tus Austen's last office was that of ents crisp and fresh, Protects all wortp economics. These regulars are always with the adi Hon which 6 taking yar, Sach vai GitsaAvenua Gauri todas hae Rete cee ancy he uelar ann thes perfectly anywhere, Lasts | cies ott eth wae. Patras Tew favalth MeWtnley isn’t to be blamed for lining them Kn strate beginning of the present city ad tan years, ‘! yur money by | ne ao belelahe Wadden rier Mined ui hey fat | mand alates “n Ba nustaatn Lhe Spontaneous as that of the OB | Shain natn ‘ation. His milite was) saving your clothes, | Otten as dear me ely enthusias 8 just a# spontaneous as that o} om wonination wok APaOn cee aad ani || S8¥ing 3 i ws opera cloru the Lon the end step# out and say's “Hooray, here a with: the Zausaaneh Be nit GAY |] Fivesiaes, 30¢ 10 1,00. Buy from your local dealer, Morning World, 120 per w rome the sold vt they are Kood Republicans becauso they gi, way opposite a clump of bushes | “1 Wetting Better ‘Commissioner Eliot also tendered to Sold in New York, N. Y., by | stand ready to take orde W have been the bulwark of party efficiency in When two young men jumped \ une The improve:| wien 7 Werinan, former rir O'Neill © the past, Whorver Is wlected ext fall will have t me kind of @ battalion or-| dinioned her arms und took two rings|Mment continues in | dition of! sondent of Parks in Brooklyn jie I, Sate, 6 Ne Advewe ‘ } 1 Gen. Ste t 1. Wo of james A. Hearn Co, . L. Keaner Co, ganized and work 115, | and @ bracelet from her. wei. Bowers 2 « W/ tion of Principal Assistant & Ss A Tam not hwiiin umber one up to acorn. I am sintply telling you that this| She and her companion screamed, but York, who was taki jously il yn| Queens, Me ts 4 specialist tn landscape, Selex Specialties Co., Ghicago {de a r@oguce wd -o Dap ubligan seen around the boieis thie weel, Atso, he moody came and the robbers escaped, June 20, near Oxford, engineering. He will accept f