The evening world. Newspaper, May 18, 1912, Page 8

% 4 ESTABLISHED BY JOSEPH PULITZER. ae Bx Prees Publishing Company, Nos, seo peaghemmed cept Sunday by the Frese Publishing " PULITZER, President, aN is ie ‘earure' JOSEPH PULITZER, r. ww. 63 ‘Park Re ¥ for the United States and Canada. All Countries in the Interna’ Postal Union. M ter, ‘ One Year. os $3.60 ++ 801 One Month &: ‘Tear.. WHAT NATURE IS UP AGAINST. i O's ioe yn wisdom taught us that supply had « deal to do with price. We used to think that when the apple! crop was poor apples were bound to be dear, and when apples were plenty most everybody could have » barrel. "> But dear, dear, how Progress and High Finance have changed @l thet! Behold how it works to-day: *__ Fore number of years the coffee crop amounts to about 6,000,000 (age per year. The price averages from six to seven cents s pound. Tedustry and better growth raise the crop to 14,000,000 bags per year. Oheaper coffee? he price lifts to fourteen cents « pound |! ! What god hath wrought thie miracle of “economics” ? Read the testimony extracted from unwilling witnesses at the ‘Baw public hearing of the House “Money Trust” investigating com- adttes. Tt appears that in 1906 a combination of European bankers with ie National City Bank of New York City loaned the State of Sao Paolo of Brazil 615,000,000 with which to buy coffee and keep it out @f the market. In 1908 J. P. Morgan & Co., the National Olty Bank qnd the First National Bank raised « little eupplementary loan of 996,000,000 to hetp along the same good work. ‘Miltjona of bags of coffee were withheld from. the market, the geice to the consumer jumped from seven cente a pound in 1906 to ‘Mirtetn and one-half cents in 1911—though last year’s crop was one ef the biggest in twenty-five yeare—and the benevolent millionaires @eaned up between nine and fifteen per cent. on their investment! in ‘Apparently what “progress” hes brought about is just thie: The great, holders of capital throughout the Western World are Sp ench dose and cordial touch with one another that it is the easiest (fing imeginable for them to “get on the wire,” put their heads to- gether, take-e hundred or so idle millions of money withdrewn from the use of the world’s workers, buy up the evailable eupply of some great world commodity, pile it im « corner, and then dole it out to those very workers et arbitrary prices. In « word, they use the world’s own savings to wedge it into « tight place and squeese more out of #! No more use for that/old “cupply and demand” ities! Put ft on » the dbelf, Mother Neture may outdo herself in covering the earth with food and rew material for the needs of her chilfiren. — “CRANKING UP!” » » Sow let the Aldermen do thetr part. from the People leas Operators, and even pay them more wages. When you come to think of it, @ wireless operator has saved ma: ship from “Davy Jones’ Looke: Probably we never would have heart of the terrible disaster of the Titanic, nor would the Carpathta have been able to locate the Titanto if tt had not been for the wireless operator. What {f an operator should become eck while on the middie of the ovean, and @coldent should befall a ship? The other operator then could do the work is @ second operator were employed; I } Would ike to hear more about thiy t}eubject from readers, 1 A. 1, Jersey City, N, J, When Women Vote, To the BAkor of The Evening World: ‘When-women vote I hope they will do #0 more quickly and less awkwardly than they get tickets at subway, tunnel “LW Ten women will tloket buyers longer than double the number of men. At this rate the polls will have to be open for twenty-four consecutive hours in order Oh, tan't it all Mr T. No.I-THE him with such « grave sir that he asked her what was worrying her. ‘A lotter| “tv's our Willie,” replied Mrs. Jerr. ‘we print cleowbeye-may refer td-one of |’ “Oh, in the streets, or One hardly picks reeding of @ child I don't worry #0 much their being o little naughty.” “If you were stuck in this house with them all day and they were carrying on and doing everything to drive you wild you wouldn't call it being ‘a little naughty,’ It would t on YOUR nerves, too,” asserted Mrg. Jarr. “Why didn’t you tet tHem out on ‘I street, then?” asked Mr, Jarr, ee A Wondrous Memory. why they misbehaved,” ead Mre. Jerr. C meprnanrnnnnenrennnnnnnansvnncntectae cottnnanen toe ‘UThe Genii (~ nT, =) By M. de Zayas Cor PP. Tram ily "Because they wouldn't mind me. And TIGHT- WAD By Al Copyright, 1012, by The Press Publishing Co, (The New York World). ONSTANCE began the recital of her conquests with fire in her eve. 've been on this jod four years and I know the line; end just you listen while I tell you that: there isn't no postion that'll put you wise to how many lemon mer- inguas there is in this world as quick es this one!’ “Lemon mer. ingues? I echoed, meekly. “Yes, you know, soft, puffy nothing that looks’ classy on top, and lemon— PURE LEMON—when you dig! In plain Yanguage, I suppose you'd call ‘em gold- bricks, The world is full of ‘em—so's this hotel. Say, I couldn't see through ‘em better now if I had an X-ray eye! I can tell by the way they put the dime down on the desk just how many moi rowing where that one come from! Really 1 gasped, ‘Sure! And let me slip you the latest. All the blow-by-nights carry fountain pens. Make a n'awful fuss about the color of the ink, too—and spring the gag that thelr bank'll think {t funny if one of their checks comes in in unfamiliar ink! ‘Those are the guys that don't know absolutely nothing about a bank ‘cept that it opens at 10 and closes at 8. So don't lot no silver-filagreed, hard rubber ink dispenser sting you, never!" * “About the Tight-wad," I suggest ‘He was the first conquest, wasn't her i “Yes, he was the first. I didn't have my training then. He used to hang ‘round my desk and ask for numbers what never answered, He must made ‘em up in his head. And after a few “Why do you think he isn’t a man ef hie word?” - “He declares he can remember back to a time when it didn’t rain five days a week.” days I begin to think he was a ringer. And then, right after that, I saw him talking real intimate with some ladies— fussy-uswies, you know, the kind. that carries morocco leather jewel cases when they go abroad. And those dames took him in to tea with ‘om, Bo I thought he must be pretty near all right. “One afternoon he walks up to the eek and leans all over the place, read COMBINE Of Constance (SWITCHBOARD OPERATOR AT THE HOTEL RICH.) FEE SAAAAASBAAAAASASASAADAAAABAABBABASD Mrs. Jarr Is Glad That Flies Don’t — Cackle and That Hens Don’t Buzz SAISHABNAABAAAIAISIAIIB ASA AIAI AAAS AN Wille especially, I punished them by said Mr. Jarr. “Well, tell me what they making them stay indoors.” did. Willie, you say, was the ‘worse of ‘I think you punished yourself more,"'| the two: “He put the cat on the fly-paper,” sal ‘ e »” gala Mrs. Jerr. “That was the beginning. You know they eay i¢ you kill @ fy now it won't lay ten million esSs a day, of something like that, although it appears to me if they kill a fy for laying s0 many eggs they makb @ big mistake, Some of these scientists should etudy he fy and find @ way to make hens lay five million eggs @ day, ‘Hens fly; and file; igre eo Delleve they do, “But hens have feathe: and weren't And files do not cackle wine ey lay thelr eggs, which 4 @ 8004 thing.” : Psat “Well, they hum, don't they? asked Mrs. Jarr. “Still, I guess it 19 a good thing files don't cackle or hens do not around you wh ma Woodward Mr. Jar. tete- and asks mc if I have a date for dinner. I grabbed it quick, you bet, and at 5.30 I rushed home to tog. And even though I do say tt myself, I looked Avenue class when I met him at |Fifty-ninth street! 7 “And he asked me where I wanted to| /." eat, and I thought it'd be grand ¢o sail {nto our own hotel and eat in the Ar- menian room and see the night operator swallow the transmitter when she seen me; but he put the icy hand on that quick and said maybe the management would fire me for it. “Well, he led me to one af them high- stoop places that has a sad-looking box- tree down at the bottom of the stoop and a bunch of breadsticks in @ bou- quet holder in the middle of the table. “The dinner was reduced from that night, and the price, 65 cents, was crossed off in red ink and the new price, # cents, was underneath, Don't you suppose that coln-squeezer knew {t? You bet he had advance informa- tion! “We didn't have « thing extra—not even a giass of beer—and me dressed up| lke a horwe! He carrted his change in| @ purse, too, And take tt from me, it was so deep down it almost tonk a ya- cuum cleaner to coax it up out of his pocket! | ‘Then, when we went out It was pour- ing. And across the street, where thefo | was a real eat-place, was a etring of jaying somethii Willle dropping the cat onto «hin Mr. Jarr, replied Mrs, Jarr, “put you Interrupt one eo and go rambling ad about something else that I simply ave to walt to a @dge- mans ? word in “Well, what about the cat and the fly-paper—and Willie?” asked Mr. Jare. “Can't you be patient just one min. ute?" retorted Mrs, Jarr. “I wae telling you that I had spread some fly-paper in the dining room because, although fly-paper is so sticky that If you leave the windows up @ moment it blows off thy table and sideboard where you have put It, and always falls with the eticky side down on the floor or on the new Wall paper and nothing will take it off except alcohol, and one is too afraid of fire to use acohol; but, at that, I pre- fer to use the sticky fly-paper rather than the polson fly-paper, because the taxis, enough to block trafMfc for aj sticky fy-paper holds the germs as well week. But he was the blind kid all|## the files. right! ‘ “But at the Modern Mothers’ meeting, “An4 that walk to the sub put my three-dollar buckskins on the fritz, and the pucker never did come out of the hem of my skirt from the damp, But I queered him all right, “The next day I got the manager real confidential, and told him that a couple of lady guests eald he was a masher— tried t6 mash them, And in about a minute and a half after he come in that afternoon the manager told him (oh, very polite, of course) that he guessed 4 better give some one else a chance to wear the nap off'n the red velour lobby sette “He WAS a tight-wad," I agreed. “WAS he!" Constance answered flerce- ly. "Why that fellow'd talk to @ nickel when Mrs, Suffren Ki lady biologist, told us carry five million Jaughed in her fa: the eminent y's foot would | rma I almost . for It stands to rea- son If @ fly stug® its feet in that many worma the feet Would stick tast, or the fly couldn't walk. till, it's best to be on the safe side, and, after all, one doesn't like to see the files fall dead in the cream or the dinner dishes, as th do when they are poisoned, o it ts blessing they are not as big. as hens, and that's why I say things might be woree. “But what about Wille?’ asked Mr, Jarr. ‘Oh, I have punished him," was tne reply, ‘Surely you do not want to whip She Sa THE “RIB” {of a Man’s Soul” Is-Red By Helen Rowland Copyright, 1912, by The Press Publishing Co. (The New York Weslill SN’'T ft @ pity,’ remarked the Rib, as she giameet id | in the mirror and patted the pink butterfly Bow os her left shoulder, » dl man has so Ute op 10 express himself!” mrinwe ead talk in our sleep,” suggested the Mere May hopefully. “Of course, during our waking hours, ts O% oult for us to got a word in; but by 10 o’clouk mest. a you have finished telling us everything"— “Oh, nonsense! “I don’t mean THAT!" corrected | Rib. ‘1 mean that he has sq little chance to expresp of every man's cowl # Yet he must confine himself to diacks artigtic, aesthetic nature. The color inmost being is crying for vivid scarlete RED, I believ 4 the Mere Man, “and work out Gelcate color scheme around the edges,” and he gased proudly at his le weart and soulful hose, “ah! but how ttle that really expresses him!" sighed the R®. “1 XMOW For once I furnished an apartment according to a man’s taste. “How you must havo loved him murmured the-Mere Man enviously. T d14,” agreed the Rib. ‘But that apartment cured me. It was beyond eves the power of MY sublime devotion to live in a replica of the aurora borealis, @ fiame-colored vision of future punishment. Why, Mr. Cutting, that man jus! soaked me in vermilion—and he was a sweet, simple, young thing, too,” “How sad!” murmured the Mere Man, mockingly. “Why,” continued the Rib waxing reminiscent, “the moment I moved Im, and . he sent me around a collection of red and yellow and all the electric bulbs, so that before we even lke @ danger signal and shrieked of eternal fire ‘Then he selected « wallpaper covered with gilt lozenges, and hung a violent red sunset tm the most conspicuous place on it, instead of in a dim corner, where it ‘would give just a dash of cheerfulness. After that, every time he passed am ari and bought ft to hang on the wall. Fortunately the wallpaper soon r beneath works of art and things of beauty; but so did the furniture, j “He couldn't bear to eee a bare spot anywhere; and evory day ho brought: @ rococo-vase, 01 lit Cupid, or some other knickknack—to fill in. The place to be as ‘touchy’ ‘woman with nerves. You couldn't speak without plowing something over or move without bringing something down with a crash. It almost as exciting as living with @ genius.” ¢ “Oh, well,” said the Mere Man cheerfully, “man thas @ deautiful soul, 484 as he can’t express it in his own clothes. he takes it out in mussing up the hod#® a in everything else from painting the te”! “Yes,” agreed the Rib dryly, red to nfarrying a woman who shrieks of primary ovlors and patchoull. Wi he {8 @ email boy, he shows his taste by crying for the reddest sled, and t0# reddest apple, and the girl with the reddest cheelts. Later, the modest violet. But that isn't the kind he takes about with him. It's sirl with the yellowest hair, and the pinkest chin, and the most furbelows. you want to attract @ man’s attention, you've got to be a ‘scream.’ And louder you scream the quicker hear you. No quiet half-tones and half- piritually of the beauties of the little brown grub, but {| ly t he pursues—the woman who satisfies his who represents that rei sled and that red apple” — N What?” % “Who wears dangling earrings, Mr. Cutting, and ekin-tisht skirts, and eng hats pushed down over darkened eyebrows, and s manufactured blush.’ “Well, can you blame him?" demanded the Mere Man defensively. “He eam’ express his higher ure in a close-cropped hi id a black frock coat,’ he takes it out by allowing his imagination and his love of color to expand] and sate itself in his selection of a wife. It's the only chance ne ‘has, poor chap!" hed the Rib. “And that's wh yearning to be a man. Talk about equal rights! When it comes to clothes, man hasn't a right in the world “Then you never longed to be a man?” queried the Bachelor. ‘The Rib shook her head and intoned softly: “Sometimes I long to be a man— ° “The bifurcated free one! ’ “But when I think of shaving every day and wearing clothes Uke that, and & serge cont at ninety degrees, and «@ stlif collar all the year round, tor euch eed and meagre results, “T {instantly conclude that I “Would rather see than BE one!” The Week’s Wash. By Martin Green. Copyright, 1912, by The Press Publishing Co, (The New York World), - HAT’S the use?" asked the offer a great field for the press agents head polisher in disgust.|who are now engaged in the theatrical “Here I've credited Taft with|and circus business when it becomes - 543 delegates and| necessary to set fire to the White Roosevelt with 501| House to get his name In the papers,” delegates, making 1,044, And there are 188 more delegates to be making 1,28 in or 163, more than The Tests at Work. 66 HOSE allenists who examined T Richeson, the Boston murderer, for traces of insanity seem: to have had quite a strenuous job," res marked the head po! 5 “Bo did the condemned party have ” replied the laundry m lenists, in order to tind out if was crazy, pounded his wishbone and his ankles and his knee with ‘silver hammers, made him chin himself. and walk around on his haunches, had him walk a tape line, twitched ‘his eyelashes, : enough,” said the laundry man. ‘Con: gressman MoKin- ley for Taft and Senator Dixon for Roosevelt have been picking delegates out of the air. These air deli will not be on hand when the convention opens in Chicago. If they keep on pil- ing up their claims both candidates will soon have more votes than there are think about this con game of claiming del tes who ha: t been ted or instructed. Everybody knows that the Taft people are claiming more than they have and that the Roosevelt people are playing the same eort of a hand. | And this in a contest for the nominat! for the Pr cy of the United Stat “The spectacle of the President and the only living ex-President chasing each other around the State of Ohio like @ couple of process servers and ex- compelled him to whistle and sing and manhandied him generally for seven or elght hou “How th escaped calling orasy is @ mystery. It was snot rive him crazy. Ail this stunt was done to @ man about whose gulit there is no dispute. His crime was cunning and well planned. But, like all murderera who plan, he made his plot too elaborate, ‘The best the alienists could do was ang Richeson abnormal, which everybody knew him to be. But if they had bed another crack at him he would have been fit material for the violent ward of any foolish house in Massachusetts," changing compliments with all the dell-| cacy and insouciance of truck drivers in a blockade is edifying in the ex- treme to us as citizens, It certainly must exolte the wonder of the people | of other countries. | years it has come to pass that | for the Presidency appear to| base their- claims on their ability to perform in public. There tsn't @ high| place or a low place within the boun-! daries of the country that oither Taft | or Roosevelt hasn't hit since 198. There was @ time when people would 4ravel @ long way from home to see a Presi-| dent of the United States. After a, while the President will be #0 common) a sight that even the village barber wm | refuse to step outside and see him go by, The Weather’s Help, said the head pottaher, a | bs “that the per capita ‘CONSMEED tion of hard Uquor has shown @ steady increase this year.” ‘i “Well,” asked the laundry man, "emt have been the weather wo hewtog been enough drink?" hen it comes to a pass where P: Ments and Presidential candidates shalt attract no more attention from the pop- ulace than deputy marshals, it will be| necessary for those statesmen to ex-! ploit themselves like soubrettes or so- clety leaders. We may anticipate the time when candidates will go out under canvas vith a troupe of assistants and © couple of brass bands and @ calliope ——— et QUEER CREATURE, ‘Towne—The Nuriches have @ 4nd he's @ most remarkable one, Browne—Why, I understand be wee the regulation English article, Towne—Yes, but his name tant him, too? & isn't the worst ohtid ta re he'd kiag Uke it was @ Uttle child beso es 1s ( it soodhy!”* writes “James,” and he doesn't epeak With @ cockney accent.—Catholtc Stan@and Tm, | Leyes and do a high dive from the top of tho tent into @ tenk, The President will * Utena y I never can understand any woman ~ shop and saw a piece of paper with a splotch of red on It, he called it a “picture,” A he pretends to adm'"¢ ig t