The evening world. Newspaper, January 16, 1912, Page 14

toe hale ai : . win beeen AOR Nn BAR kena s nssanannsensansesesicisiniasas secant ctes iat mgecee | Can You Beat It? 3% (-senei-) 3 By Maurice Ketten| | Sayings Op @uatistes Daly Breept Sunday by the Press Pubtehing Company, Nos 60 4) Mrs. af apage Fou we ei oe. east LTTE — “Pace Row SO The Evening World Daily Magazine, Tuesday, January 16, 1912 4 nome i feos 1) . Cranes eee ey i Heten i Rowland. re Becretary, 63 Fark Tow, Heer eeeesecsseeeecesecceees NO, 18,410 Copyraht, 1012, by the tress Pub (tle New York World), EHOLD, my Daughter, 1 have parted from B mine Appendic and my consvicnce te clear! Therefore do 1 fear but three things in at the world: And the first of these ts a mouse. And the second is embonpoint. But the third is a@ TRAINED NURSE. For I have watched her at her WORK, And, I charge thee, in the flutter of her apron there lurketh more dam ger than in the whole chorus of a comic opera. | For @ chorus girl practiseth her wiles upon strong men, but SHB hing Cv. | | THE ROYAL ROAD TO RESULTS. MERICAN business has brought forth eomething new under | A the eun. It is called The Society for Promoting Efficiency. Efficiency is defined in tho dictionaries as “the ratio of useful work to the energy expended in prodneing it.” American efficiency in some lines is very high. It is ahown in railroad freight rates, the lowest in the world, coupled with railroad earnings, among the highest, and in packing-howso economie, whereby 97 per cent. of the profit is in by-products. Yet these results do not aatisty the men who made them. ‘The Ce ¢ [/ O LéT Him ‘ALONG! seeketh him only that is stricken and at her mercy. failroads did not scoff when Louis D. Brandeis declared that better | KINO SiR, Yea, when he is DOWN and OUT she getteth in her fine work, methods would save them a million dollars a day. They wore pro- | See Boas nis iow her head she weareth a CUTE CAP which glorifieth as a halo #9 bbb etd nimn aimee oy ealery he might name if he would Mall rn" (~) " (icpellecds She watketh upon Reels of velvet and cooeth unto him in a voice @ cessfully apply the methods. Now railroad men, bankers and pub- | licista have associated, to use the language of Chairman James G. Cannon, “so that they can compare notos and cancel out processes and methods and systems which have not been eatisfactory.” Big Business, tho most eficient thing we have—and therefore | the thing that most needs watching—teachos a lesson to the reat | of us by not being content with its own achievement. ‘The leason may well be studied by organized labor, which too often opposes time- saving and product-multiplying devices, nor realizes that Efficiency | means Proficiency and Proficiency spells Ease. ‘Nhe farmer, too, | may heed, for in agriculture outworn methods are far too common. | The housewife has her lesson to learn in intelligent attention to | details and in kitchen economies. Cannot every man profit by applying to work and leisure the silver, Her amile runneth over and will NOT come off. She hath dove's eyes. She datheth his brow with spikenard and myrrh, and anointeth Rims (with atconot, She arrangeth his pillows and comforteth his soul with words of chee She taketh hie PULSE! | He yearneth to be babied and ehe dadyeth him. He pineth for sympathy—and she sympathizeth. He eeeketh comfort—and she maketh him COMFORTABLE. And WHAT chance hath a dameel at a pink tea desde o ministeringy angel euch as one of these? Go to, thow Bimple One! What etrength ts there in a SIOK man that he shall flee before aan the temptations of St. Anthony in one bundie? Nay, though he be of stone and of adamant, though hie heart be em foresight, the method, the zeal for betterment that are shown by R . SAN “| ca0ed yh Br iiion Waa tal & pathos Leadi As etd iat | = (elt) “Alas, Mirtam te a! A e wae never like uf largo business enterprises ? | Beat it! Yet how guileless @ human nature! oe . For, ye will keep your silver in a strong dom and jour jewels dehins Dare of iron, yet will ye trust your BELOVED in the hands of one of these. Verily, verily, the Lorelet ie passe and witches are no more. But a Little Trained Nurse 12 @ DANGEROUS THING! Selah! HURDLES THAT COME FIRST. EFORE the Government takes over the telegraph lines and B runs them from the post-office in the name of “economy and efficiency,” let it conduct some one business better than private enterprise can do it. Let the post-office utilize its existing plant for a parcels post. It it carry eecond-clacs mail matter as cheaply as the express companies do. Let Congress meet the Preai- dent half way and place the whole Federal service on @ merit basie, wiping out the sources of Congressional patronage. Let Congress meet the Aldrich challenge, that if the Government were run as a private business is run $300,000,000 could be saved a year and that 100,000,000 could be saved merely by reorganizing executive depart- merits. Let Congress make a tariff revision that ia not log-rolling and a« leap in the dark. Let it pass a river and harbor bill and a public buildings bill that are not “pork barrel” products. Let the House roacind its vote in favor of the dollar-a-day pension bill. Let the Government create a currency system that will not betray busi- nese in its hour of need. [Little Chapters on the Presidents. 1V.—Thetr Religions. HE Episcopal Church has ruled James K. Polk eppeared while Presl- etrong among the Presidents. ; dent attached to no church. A Metho To it belonged Washington, |dist preacher baptized him just before Madison, Monroe, Willlam|his death. Henry Harrison, Tyler, Pierce| Zachary Taylor and Jam and Arthur, Jeffereon attended its ser-|were Presidents without Dut never professed its creed: the latter became @ Presbyterian after usually regarded as a Unitarian, hie retirement. On the score of his writings. Millard Fillmore was a Baptist, al- if pide are though not of the church militant. panty ae Firet| Volumes have been written about the ee religion of Abraham Lincoln, His faith ae unt milly Mrs, Jarr Finds That ‘‘Love’s Young |‘¥. Grurah of Guinay [#80 to Have bad, no denominational Mass. His son, and simple as Dream” Is Younger Than: She Knew |S" 12.3, 2" 1297 ie power at raver saat ents were japtiete, Andrew Johnson leaned toward rather than upon the faith of Methodism, Grant was a Methodist, and with ——- —<4e-—--- — THE SWEET POTATO MEN, away from the fold @ Unitarian, It was to and became SoooooressssoNooNooooOSesONeSSONTS io John Adams that Jefferson wrote “Say Siavingty kiss me, and she had twe ,in this world, I'm going to be @ chauf- | kiss you because they want something.” |nothing of my religion; it 1s known to 1 The Evening World ugged conte.” feur or have a moving ploture ehow of | ‘That ain't so! That ain't eo!" erled pees ot ’ ia il 2 peiya Le 8 Sumpenion eet “Yes, but she wouldn't buy tandy,”|™my own. And I won't let anybody in to| the little Jarr girl. “Mary Rangle give Por UtaaanT aaa john Qui Hey y ian aitnle yee cata! to Markham’s “The Man With the Hoe” be written with aid iittte Miss Ji 4 1 see the pictures I don't itke, No girls] you tandy to tiss her.” incy |Hayes and McKinley. le Diise Jere. “Wo there! Adams, the White House harbored no| Benjamin Harrteon and Grover Cleve- ‘I don't care. 1 dont want no kissing |!# to come to my moving pictures.” “Aw, that was only because she had eo ine ae its te a its « ») A th potato famine a its text and as its title “The Man With pas. use if we have a party| “Ob, if you feel that way about tt,|@ ght with Guesle Bepler, who ts her eae until the advent of President/iang were Presbyterians, the Baked Potato.” The poem has not yet appeared. What has there'll be plenty of candy and cake and| We'll have « party just for little girls,"|real beau and she wanted to make him |“ Anarow Jackson became © Presby: re happened, grotesquely enough, is that the man with the baked potato Minn’ enti sis Lad Land he LN Noga peal saw opportunities of i terlan while in office, The faith was Ha Premiere a ‘ : ‘ouldn’ much nicer to have 1 has disappeared. The police have run him off tho streets. More the games the Play Ground Association | Cake, candy and ice cream escaping him Ladd Petey peril a f shiareb attachment) three .hundred venders af baked sweet potatoes have been de . toach?" asked Mra. Jarr. (“The doctors | aid changed front. ’ | lames ard than three hi et potatoes have been de-| coyyrigit, apa, by, The Prose utitahing OO teat eames th ID Otrae Miwa te ‘ant mina: peice tei the Rachel Donelson, whom he married a Campbellite, 4, ‘Two Presidents on the country’ prived of their livelihood on the paltry plea that their little sheetiron haven party?’|Reaithy. Little ehildren aatoh the| party. Tut J ain't going to let no gtrle ; | aereteneee was) divorced “by “lewis Theodore —Roose- bake ovens make too much smoke. “M ittie Jarr girl MUMDE and the measles and all sorts of lorzzoait hes Gacie ora gare, 1 rented, 7 ed eatd too much, Ita Van Buran was polished ali 68) toe Data This bit of police zeal is not only unresponsive to our offort to If yOu ere ee ee MT AOA Geral punted’ the tiie’ gin | anaTelvatlave tx Gabel eet aaked Mra. Jarr, turaing to. the Title |T*ther than religious, eetional. foster literature, but it raises a savor of oppression which is a good Ba eats as e Jart e “if there ain't no tlesin’, there ain't mo) "Oh, but you are married, mamma,” no ‘i 4 fleal less pleasant than the aroma of a baked sweet potato, Why], Ths was Just a little too indefinite Darty! sald Mttle Mies Jarr; ‘when I am @ had an inkling that children were : I Gon't wamt no playground| grown up and married I won't believe Perhaps much like grownups—actuated make it harder for a poor man to get anything to eat? Why wipe Be ale URGE USD party to-morrew,"” r ald Master Jarr. “All ept to ties my husband by hidden motives in aimost everything An other B afflin g but ‘all competition to the saloon free lunch? Why exaggerate the | #a!4 the litte str. to teach you something, ont obey dwar or amen es sain ease Mys te ry of the Se a 1 0 I don't want to learn anything, I know ' * 4 “Hut no Kies games, I ain't going to n ee tflects of the potato famine by shutting off tho one cheap eoutco of |no party and have to kise @ tot of ‘Where you get euch HE seemingly unaccountable! second. From these data the distaness everything now.” I. supply ready for eating? Why leave echool children no better sire" declares Master Jarr, misogyn- | “But. W crted hie mother, “you eG SANE for oome reason failure, of fog signals at the| may be computed. market for their spare pennies than the candy stand? must Have an education or you wij not| ‘All girls Is Ike that! eneered Willie| Mrs. Jarr, “What 1s the reason? amount to anything in thle world!” Jarr. “They don't kiss you because) “Sho wants to show Mary Hangle she “I don't want to amount to anything | they want to kiss you. But they just nore beaux than Mary Ransie critical moment has been a source of much perplexity plied ry Rangle coming sfaction if one of the The potato baker is a respectable and time-honored figure of | trom school You tesed Mary] oO" es baila —— urted out the boy, “Say, maw, = and serious disaster. It not signals 1s given by wireless telegraphy the ceent. Doubtless he sold his toothsome wares in the Aztec La a eT aa m1 ei make (fies a pach tt A any erate ihe tee oe eee ie ane ue i 2 ; Fi aid no OS Ot! 3 a. joture ar Won't want @ party!” a ves! a @ bells used as subma- tnd Inca ‘ities. For generations he has been ministering to Lon-|ner stop saying I did!" cried the bo} Th 6 Th » d “Beaux!” cried the surprised Mrs, | Whistle could not be heard, while light-|rine signals can be heard further, un> flon’s poor, and the “better classes” find that a hot potato in oach| “Ye ¥o" ait Aue had Ave cunts end e anuary aw an Jarr. “It tan't possible that you babies | house officials maintain with equal posi-|der ordinary circumstances, than the (i shed will k hand. tl h ul i Pe was going to buy Jacke and a . discuss such things, ts it?’ tiveness that there was no fallure tol siren, and, furthermore, by means of a bvercoat pocket will keep the s warm for hours. ete in New] you said if ahe'’d buy tandy you'd be hat t su al y e ans “Bables?” replied ttle Emma Jarr, | ®ve the proper signal. It 1s now known special telephone apparatus, it {s possi 0 fente : her beau, And she bought showing gum York the seller of baked sweet potatoes is comparatively a new pear Pre mai pay ones dle al tomer, but thousands buy hie wares—and at about one-third the} a you tissed her!” #aid history in the price they pay elsewhere, Theso tubers are a capital food, well] {0 te einai! candiead tae tharged with carbohydrates and containing cane sugar. Wise con | voy sumers eat the skin as well as the flesh, for there is virtue in it mind drawing herself up proudly, “I'm @ years old, I'm a young lady.” in their statemen' T 1 supposed to be due about) and various other items of interest. But, on @ pronilae of chocolate cake | through a medium, the middle of January. Most) ‘The snow settles and looks dirty. | for supper, and no rice pudding, and a| sity of which varies inore or } of the almanace have a| ‘The streets show @ dark line. Quanti-| Visit to the moving pictures, Mra, Jarz| Point to point, it suffers a refraction, standing Paragraph, year | ties of clothespins come to light tn the| has bought off the party, lor, in other words, the line of propaga- after year “about this time | back yar, and you begin to under- — tion is not a straigh’ on | that both sides may have been correct |ble to determine the If sound travels|origin of the sound, T) ‘paratus consists of two tanks placed in |the hold of the vessel below the water ne, These tanks contain mfcrophones immersed in lquid and connected to the pilot house. An {ndicator box shows ng the decelt of the male youth “If #he wae softy enn enough mime half the candy J let . >) Inquirer. A ‘esult of|the side hich expect & January thaw,’ | stand why {t was that new pins were Philadelphia Inq # a result of|the side on which the responding tele- In their humble way the eweet potato men are reducing the) her kins me, Mut 1 wouldn't let Gertie | "0; & JANUARY Moe edad ae often, ne shaw! you tent The Lost Occasion. this {¢ may occur that a sound wave,!phone ts connected, and the master te tost of living by popularizing a food that can be produced choaply | - — sss [lots of anow, The country roads w rae RT PTW TAA CT Feet fair day and fading | starting from some point on the surface|thus able to ascertain the direction ; ” : ' ; 4 : i of the earth, 18 deflected upward, so| from which the stgnais come, tity. Why punieh their servi >, ve full, and the city streets will be bar- | out of the drift under your window. Pitiae : ve 0 end in quantity YF Al rompt Offer. Sendsh Gah oaes of be. The tka dare ge oneene ie lay-born here, with westward | that a person statloried at some distance | es eee Wha inher kata wlth ecveiiow. gig (Han Rucalw len repeat start, nuge aun now downwarg |? the #urface of the earth will recelvo | » tox he sound wave, which | : and a nouth wind. You wil) feel it In] you know that the rubber #hoe man is) soar, »0 indteation of the sound wave, whlch | |\our bones beforehand. Hverything| putting money in the bank. Chilblains! Farewell, We twain shall meet no|2**tes over him, Loh Ha ete sahys | Hedgeville softens Your frozen sink-mpout thaws | are in #eason, and so are colds, coughs, | more. ing him unconscious of the distur pance E a i tor oul. ‘The eaves guttera utter ominous | sore throats, chapped Ips and freckles. Another posable cause through which | surface street ear companies would save themselves dun age suite and cush if they would get rid of the slippery old | style carsteps, Why does not the Public Service Commis munrglings, and the festive bluesay comes| A few files, which have been in hiding FArgmell wate mth, mura lag sigh sound sensi m0 a ecome Ins ble at By John L. Hobble ion help them to « decision by requiring the general adoption of Sadana Ra the branches of the PADIS. She Wh9G8N AMES tte gut T linger useless in my tent; pain sitneniy: denied) oleae banka stops that are not pitfalls? OE eee re ne te gant cid ar CASI TACHA GIBA AG das UNACIOeH ey. ron | Tena (ee ones #0: Sully Anant! of dense fox, Such reflection may havo} Convright, 1912, ty The Prey Pubtishiug Co ——- oa barn, says the Philadelphia In-|mind you of the vanished past, Next| Farewell, fair day. If any God the result that at certain points reall esi uw The neighbors’ hens mmer you wilt recklessly smash them | At all considered this poor clo Glreot: wave ANG she Telesieg Wave Jat ILLIAM JACOBS, who was con nto your yard and make With & folded newspaper, but now you wt | neutraitse 7 in| Wi vicred last weeks ts now ask familar with the swoet-willlame and|ireat them as you would sn invited | Prepared and placed the i audible, for a new » Accuaing the Jury off The troubles to wht alr signals are | incompatabili ollyhocks you have wovered up for the | suest Let him div! s ie ubject complete Jwinter, A few adventurous and enter-| Everybody perspires in thick clothing, | Let him diviner vengeance tak | ANee: SFR -SaTR PASAY Naas {first buoyant th door ind | i a ; sits ale ine Give me to sleep, give me to wake, | Water Is used a 5) RE if mini prising young men appear in light over: !and exclaims: “Phew! how hot tt { H é ' wie Re Bet ci 11 et Co the Rites of The Brening Worlt Brow stronger « how Tone that rate, Some extra fine ladics drive out ALL the elste fll we. Water comes Gird M vid me play medium. he succe t | it When wil) Christmas fall on Monday | tenta: #trength endure ; I rt | 4 4 Mag Gay) nals has been so mark | shouted $ of the alr will proba 1h sunshades over their se lin your cellar, ‘The roads are terrible, ‘ QUINN, | (Tom medical readers would he tnterwete with aun @ over thelr ees! jin your cellan Robert Louls Stevens y | audience wats, & 9F ing. WInpUMAdeo eae Your rheumatic 1 or vomes aver and you will read about tho freshet in mpahers Walls Bievenean min BE Where At What Age? BP acter J with her knitting wo 1 talks over the big rivers as you drink your coffee. EXPLAINED. BOL AIRala Gant bean set PR. WAT at Byrenleas To the Pilfor of The Evening World We heve heard much about “When ts & man (or women) old?" but here you fn rey 0. wart to the following I road something I would tke to hear readers iy the papers that tiere was hardly | Mixcuss? At what age ts @ man oF) any po ; | she leat ohurch dangerous, but you can only eat je and the differ-| Next day after the thaw you will see! ut am sorry to see you have ugasa,"| simultaneously, a cs | t once, & biuisn-gray cloud In the west, there | gaia ‘the judge. Jof the interval be a fitful puff or t wind, You're not half as sorry as 1 am, the two signals enables the mar | will how a@ bright: sp the | judge.” said the prisoner odtain S07) 3 dis |T #2 1 tha To the Kattor of The Frening World Readers, 1 would Ike to hear from trict Court sald jast we no matter what business 8 general shiver will run} Sey mm tO short 6 poor gh ‘ompany, mY Man, as I told you | from the etal woman at his or her mental prime’ who were hom and almost st ean creation, you will suddenly | pete: sure to Dring you oack,” satd | for obvie sin, his wife shoukt be a sites Personally, I can do muoh better and jing in the recent cold apell, Should and stays to din cold, and wonder if the fire is ali|tne jude between the receipt of tho two signals | Parsi: much more brain work at forty than I! not some money be aj t 1 " ou hear all about the turkey tha and then the nortawest wind ‘Yes, " " ppropriated to Doctor, I've got a raging perpetual | ¥ i r K that es, Judge, ould at twenty-five; although, phy-|erect buiktings for such a worthy thirst. Won't You give me something| failed to hatch we nd the caicke parinl 1 am no where near eo strong | cause, rather than giving milliéns and for it?” that had the croup, the “medde: ie next morning the mercury will belttls vulgar cop, but he just regtatly|to reach him, Now the velocity of wet married, but now the dock Ga cman! “wus ens et How to it gpiltions of dollars te eect Bitien: | “y. My entire bank account! hay that got wet, and the hired mandWlow zero, and eversthing wit! frevge thrust himself upon me.""~Hauper's| sound in the air is about 1,100 feet per #4y ‘hat there 1a something else tl Geranin mantuitions? u ‘When the fesse tw thranin ond tenes sommes late lm the Bronx.” that sot thick with Brown's oldest girl, | Up solid Weekly, ’ eecond; im water abgut 4700 feet pex Watier With Dim fo sald the prisoner, “Hut | ts the difference between the time taken | —_— in to put in some of its best work,/1 can't help myself. 1 tried to avoid | for the air signal aud the water s: sual BORGE CRAUM has quit teytn