The evening world. Newspaper, August 25, 1911, Page 11

OPA UT IFRS RY 8 ee RRR RE. RE Rw neste Gee: Wy ts (tT That SO MAHY CRACKED GINKS RE JUST ROLLIN? IH IT MILE I'm As SOUND AS) ft OMIOH @ BROKE — 9 DEAD BRoK iN AOMNCE & $ Wn) AW Al, Ave! Weve GoT A Sop: } Raw ALL Tue WAY UP Here — MANAGER WANTS US To Do OUR STunT IN VAUDEVILLE OFFERS us Bhooo A WEEK -6 Monts 10000, Bonus t na ° ayings of. ...,.. MRS. SOLOMON ee Being the Confessions of the Seven Haundreath Wife. Teans'ated By Helen Rowland. Copyright, 1911, by the Preee Publishing Oo, (The New York World) 0, in Bighty-seventh street, there dwelt two L damsels, a wise virgin and a foolish virgin; and they were both exceeding beauteous. Now, upon a day, they entered a SUBWAY train; whereupon two youths, observing their comeli- ese, arose and offered them seate. And the foolish virgin accepted the seat without question. But the wise virgin turned unto the youth who had favored her with an entrancing amile of GRATITUDE, saying: “Oh, thank you SO much! You are very, VERY kind!” And when they were seated she turned to the foolish virgin and cried out in a voice so that all might hear: “Oh, Evelyn, don't you ADMIRE a courteous man!” Whereat the youth blushed and twelve men who had HEARD arose and offered their scats unto twelve women and they were ALL delighted with themselve: But when the two damsels had departed from the train the foolish virgin admonished her sister, saying: “How now, thou flatterer! Thou OVERDIDST~the thing. For the silly youth was PUFFED UP with conceit.” And the wise virgin WINKED privtly, saying: “Even so! Yet, never again in all Ris life will THAT youth remain seated while a WOMAN standeth. For he hath tasted the FRUITS of chivalry and they were sweet. Moreover, didet thow not observe twelve men who were likewise CONVERTED. “How long, Oh thou Simple One, must I continue to remind thee that men are as BABES, who must be ENCOURAGED in their good deeds with SUGAR PLUMS and praises? How long wilt thou continue to cry ” wt for thy RIGHTS, while thou neglectest to hold onto thy PRIVILEGES? “as for ME, 1 would not exchange my right to a seat in a street car VOTF. Nay, I would rather be PAMPERED than PRESI- Yeo, vertu! Then, I beseech ve, my daughters, go thou and do likewise! And when a man DOETH a good deed, let thy voice be raised in hallelujahs, that he may take PRIDE in hie works For lo, more flies are caught with honeyed words than with cold water; and a little flattery worketh wonders, where great argument faileth, &) shineth a GOOD SCHEME ina naughty world! Selah! “Cheer Up, Cuthbert!” What’s the Use of Being Blue? There Is a Lot of Luck Left. By Clarence LI. Cullen. \ by The Prem Publishing Co, (The New York World) It's Bad Medicine to Wait until the Wagon is Ready to Back up before Discovering that Lying te never Worth While! Copyright, 1911 T'S a Heap sier to Kick Over the Tra than it is to Back Into ‘Em Again! Aa = MPRA OR eS amas Copyright, 111, by The Prew Pal “You ARE CERTAMMT THE REAL Litrle CHEESE. CAHE' $ l4000 tf Gee! damm The Evening World Daily Magazine, Mishing Co, AHO MADE You ore THe HEN (The New York World), June house Friday, August 25, STARVIN' SINCE THAT Time | MADE AN INNGEL OF Yous Hod HatH DRESSED You IN YOUR NIGHT GOWN ld PAIROF GOOSE WINGS On You kon? 1911 i Nes ALE L Ano tD Jump OFF THE METROPOLITAN ToweR IF Youd iLL YouRsELF Lavening AT ME— YES= Yes. 1 RECALL THE 5 JoKe VERN Distinctly — we. GOAT HATHA: HA! AND [ LAVGNED so HARD IT Made) FS stcx & coud WT EAT FIR_ A WECKS HE Pe SAY. RAL eas! Hoi W0 Jokes. Ss D By Wheel Odd Bits. - : ~ acucu:||Summer Dreams # By Wheelan| | --;.::||Betty Vincent's Advice sraisres eet * Copyright, 1911, by The ree Publishing Co, (The New York World) bet Lesa in d i ee ated by @ trolley. Marriage or a Career? ®ve had just tled a gariand of ple leaves about her ankles, “What on earth are you up to my love?" axked Adam. “I em trying on my new hobble skirt, sweetheart,” returned the part- ner of his joys, with a sweet smile. — Harper's Weekly. Jack—Would you like to live your fe over again? Tom — And owe twice ag much as Ido now? No, sir! Boston Tren- soript. “We want our Product known from the Atlantic to the Pacific.” “Start « big ad- vertising cam- paign.” “But we haven't muoh im { “In that case 14 etart at Panama, where it ien't #0 far from the At- lamtic to the Pa-| work | cifle, and gradually Loutaville Journal. ‘Bome of your) speeches,” said the | cynical friend, | “make me think | of @ methematical | marvel I once| knew.” “In what wa’ “He could di pose offhand of any problem you | gave him, Nobody | in the crowd was able to say wheth- er he got the right | anewer, and it really didn't seem to make much dif- ference, anyhow.” | GIDDAP VER ' ODNT YER HEAR me. CALLIN’ FER A PAPER ACROSS THE STREET ? It works to per- fe 66 HE modern woman will not give up her life work T for her husband,” a clev woman writer told me the other day. “If she cannot marry without ‘rifling her job she will remain elngie, even though ton. Statistica show that fully on she loves.” third of the mar And I have just recetved the following Jett tisges among the “Tam a woman twenty-nine years old, a worker, end enjoying the best of material comforts. A man a few years older than I wants me to marry hm. He cen give me @ home, but no better than the one I am able to pro- vide for myself. I love him, but I love my work and éo not want to give It up. Besides, isn't marrtage usually « failure? y i} . ten thousand times no! Not the real marriage, the onty one worth the A woman married to the man she loves, and who loves her, ts the! Suoh a marriage {s in itself tne most glorified: poorer clanes of Joman end in di- vorce. Although auto mobile and cycle |tires use vast | quantities of rub. ber, greater quan- titles are used in the boot and shoe ame, Aapplest person the world holds, Job" conceivable, Girls, please don't make any miatake about this, pe Me Tt is good for you to: 9 ehoose some occupation or profession which appeals to you and becorhe skilled: rast wry a aes in It. If you are very fond of your work, amd circumstances permit, it ts i¢eal tines tel Make the | {°F You to continue with It atter your marriage. r saielaie ob thé But if you love a man don't weigh the delights of “work” againet a wedding sing, The solitary tollers, whether they be men or women, can only share in Alpa are capable! itera necond beat, 4 generaths It may be Interesting and excellent fare, put It fe not she enough electrical | Snauet table, Newer te 05. bil For so many years the girl who didn't marry was despised and mocked. the railroads of | “OW the pendulum awings to the other extrem Switzerland, cused of wasting her “God-given talents” beca she prefers to sing in the nursery instead of on the concert stage. A Precigus thing than a tapful of children. Don't marry for a home, Learn to work; do good work, ana take care of yourselves till the right man comes. But when he does come, if it [8 a ques- tion of giving up the old “Job” to become his wife, please remember that you're being promoted, Th: First Letter. A GIRI. who signs herself “W. 8." writes: young man fe work” is deemed a mere The great collec- tion of Franz Hals paintings, now the princtpal pride of (laarlem, tay rolled up for about @ century in an attic as worthless 1 irl, Mfght T auggest to her that ehe! Join me in the denial? Such a request would be a bit a ward. Very likely she has never heard of the rumors, Why not bestow your attentions elsewhere for a time? ke “T have been engaged to a for two years, For good reasons, he has been unable to call on ‘The practice of adoption In Japan Hey!) Just !magine that you are talking to him. You must be good chums, as well as lovers, after so long an engagement, and you should find no @iMeuity tn chatting to each other with your pens, fon is older than his father. The Secretary of the English wal- nut would do well In this country. It spreads itke an onk and hase fine feathery follage that fills the with fragrance. “I have been good friends with 4 girl for nearly two yeara, have called upon her frequently and have taken out occasionally. This has started rumor that we are engaged. My friend has made no effort to deny the rumor, although L have whenever {t has come ri my , “I have no tntention of marrying this Play that Hope Washington star. t Number all ac 7 the Board ~ ev yird Money is) ofa Good if it Cope! } Devspondency ‘8 $ pS not that] of a “I know something of some farme | I E ‘ I . M E F E E I said 1, “and a sure scythe will mow them down some dag.” van Optimist ta On the way back to the house a beau- One who Knows tiful and inexplicable creature walked Dreier aughitren hte ite fascinated, eazing at St. John waited posi BS cine Cae patiently, smoking his elwarette. He — is a modern farmer. After ton minutes You can Chop the Head off a Rattle- (Copystzited by Doubleday, Page & Co.) (in his caim way, “Don't worry. he said: “Are you going to stand there }Jenake, but Habit hes ) be Killed | (To be published in book form after Sept. 12) |you rabblt-ci nd come on Ing at that chicken all day? Break- All Over! } fous Sinore ioe Mineulle get cold.” tt feat 4s nearly ready." ! = saad 0 PALMEN abo Meht, and the mountains} “A chi "paid . SYNOPSIS OF PREVIOUS INSTALMENT, | eee at ae Mien Murfree's deveripe | “A white Orpington hen, if you want Sometimes we Feel that we're 80 | yo writer suffers a nervous breakdown. He | tiong of them. to particularize.”” : \ fasily Deflected from the Right that it | oes from one to another, Bach preveriver | Soon after dinner I announced that I] "4 white Orpington hen | tould be @ Good Thing if we were Fite) different coune of Winds jooke about tor «| Pelieved > could sleep for a yee or two, | with intense interest. The fowl walk the tara including legal holl so 1 slowly away with graceful dignity, and 4 with Blinkers! | hown to a room followed Hke a child after the Pled 1 age |flower garden, where there was a bed| Piper. Five minutes. more || The! Good Resolutions that we Make PART I. Jas broad asa lawn, Soon afterward the|lowed me by John and then he tong then we're There with a Bank-Roll HEN, suddenly, 1 remembered remainder of the household r und} me by the sleeve and conducted me to lave a Hean More Strength that I must have outdoor air) “hen there fell upon the land a silence. | breakfast han those we Make when were And exercise, So T went down| Suddenly some belated ttle bird” After 1 hud been there a week I Rroke! South to John's. John ts ani What te had no doubt connicered sicepy Jean 1). armed. 1 was sleeping — approximate relative by ver-|tones, enunciated the noles generelly | ty enic. oh BOSnAl pee ning Goldsmith never Thought, when he/| dict of @ preacher standing with 4| translated as “cheep!” [eee Ee ea ee: ramped through Europe playing the Uttle book in his hands in a bower of) J leaped into the alr an | SO wn to the trolley car Flute for his Bread, that he was D chrysanthemume whe a hundred thous| “Hey! what's the matter down there?" | sta ar for Pineville, and ned to hecoma an English Classlc | sand people looked on. John has a| called oh Coe PAS Ream BBAYe IAG | want to #1 of the best physicians jcountry house seven miles from Pine-! , videntaliy: Geen ai Py | in town, ally b do my By this Ume I knew exactly what to \temiorse doesn't sfeat Annthing| Vile It te at an altitude and on the) against the ceiling.” T needed retical treatment | ey | Blue Ridge Mountains in a Siate too] The next morning 1 went out ny hat or eB AL ely Fe | gwithert. Pesunctation | dignified to be dragged into this con-| porch and looked at the mountains rl A e * —— troveray, John {s mica, which :» more|There were forty-seven of them in tor, I have cirrhosis of the 4 G D doesn't | yal ia [stght. 2 shuddered, went Into the dis! airy i ie Somehow the ant Despair sn't! valuable amt clearer than gold. fran nit om ae, » eat, indurated arteries, neuras- Squat so Basily on our Shovlders| He met me at Pineville, and we took! spanooeits Falntly Practice of Medi- | ‘22a neurits, acute indigestion ani aff hon we're All Togged with the Best|the trolley car to his home, It ts @ bIg.| cine ome booacase, £1 begey 9 | COMVAleRc@nce, Tam going to live on faenery in the Locker! jnelghborless cottage on a hill surrounded read, ja strict diet. 1 shall also take a tenid y pee, by & hundreG mountains, We gat of at John came in, took the book away| hath st nigh and a cold one in th : hie LUttle privae station where John's rom me and led me outelde, Ho has a{Morming, T shall endeay frome ef us aro 60 Stuffed with Crits | and Ararpitta met an eed ifarm of three hundred acres furmehed | ful, and fix my mind or lem that we have no room left fe! Ameryiiia looked oc mee trifle} witn tae usual complement of ba jects, In the way of dr Introspection! enxlously, cL mules, peasantry and harrows with trree | t? 'ake @ phosphorous pill three times —_ A rabbit came bouhding across the hill| front teeth broken off. a day preteen bly ft meals, and @ Follown who Win are those who|between ua and the house, I threw! ‘Then John spoke of alfalfa, ani 1| tonic composed of the tinctures of gan ean Frey ate Pea ms down my aultcaae and pursued it hotfoot. i brightened at once. “Oh, yes," said |, tan, cinchona, calisaya, and earda F , After I had run twenty yards and seenj wasn't she in the chorus of—let's;™mom compound, Into each teaspoo {t disappear, I sat down of the grasi between us and Happiness! “Nerves a little unstrung.” #a!4 John. thine about fanming~ after all” ~ a Worry if you Want To—but Play thet | and wept disconsolately, Green, you know,” said John, “and fumber in Combination with a Plan! “T oan't catch @ rabbit any more,” I| ender, and you plow {t under after the — wobbed, "I'm of no further use in the| fret season.” ; 7 world, I may as wall be dead." "L know,” said J, “and the grass It's 6 Sardonto Thought that Rome of “hoy what is tt—-what ts {t, Brother! grows over her," permit a few Gummy Dollars 1 Jonnt’ T heard Amaryliie say, “Rdght" ead John, "You know some- ful of this I shall mix tincture of vomica, beginning with one drop and Increasing it a drop each day until the maximum dose is reached drop this with a medicine dropper whtel) can be procured at a trif_ing cost at any pharmacy, Good mornin ad it’ I took my hat and walked out. After about the only thing that will. It's of a What more do you want? I phail |p — O. HENRY’S Last and Best Short Stories. 3% Agriculture de- Akron that ‘tho| An Embarrassing Siteation. beautiful forest MAN who signs himself “J. L." tree that bears A writ | Wine’ weer oe ine for the lust two months, He came! Unwe come Attentions. wish to obtain in- | Yesterday, but thinks he may be kept GIRL who signs herself “A. D." fluence often have, #®@Y 4gain ‘n the near future, He A writes: themaelves adopt. | *8nts me to write to him, a thing I 1 am seventeen and a young od It sometimes | 24 never done before. How shall I! man of twenty wishes to call om me. happens that «| oesin?” He has invited me to the theatre end offered me presents. I have refused all his attentions, telling him thet I em too young and that I don't care for Mim. But my parents are quite willing that he should call, Must I permit him to do #0?" Certainly not. You are young, ané you Reed not receive attentions from aay ene’ you don’t Ike, Be frm with this eae- Dereistent person, The **St ads°’ Call. Aw who signs himeelf “F, ¥. writes: “T am engaged to « young ‘and do not doubt her affection for But I have never called on wer fly, that 1s, the same nights every I should Mke to do this, but Place Is it to speak first about the rangement? Bhe goes out a good but whenever I tell her I am 4 vars is at home for me.” vise you to forget “abeaay"" call, Go to eee your Tacs whenever you wish; you admit you Rave no fault to find with her wolcome. T had closed the door I remombered|iind that's as old aa the world; but off “T tell you ould be I neous, pot + ou, pontal @omething that I had forgotten to|late It's powerful scarce and hard to|find the magte-that |: some specified time. ied “2 Say. I opened {t again, The doctor/find, You and I will have to hunt it up |looking for—in time, not moved from where he had|!'m not engaged in active practioa now: |p The doctor tells ni A been sitting, but he gav slight'y|I'm getting along in years; but I'M take] “What doctor?” Sal nervous siart when he saw me again.|your case, You'll have to come every] «Doctor ‘Tatum—the old doctor who ble Famine. T forgot to mention," said 1, “that{day in the afternoon anf help me huntlives halfway up Black Oak Mountain, 1L4LING aabies in Reesta, in en- shall ateo take absolute rest, and ex- |for this plant till we find it, The lly lho you know hin tire disregard of futare suppites, clue, tific things, but they don't know much{ “f have known him since I was able has resulted in a steady dectine® After this consultation T felt much | {fe things: bil t. nature. carries (to talk, And t# that where you go every |!" the catch, and in seme @tetricte has better. ‘The re-establishing tn ny mind oe ee uae haga.” : day—is it he who takes you on these, Nearly effected the extermination of ee era ORT ote it se ivery, day the old, doctor and 1 (IM Walks and climbs that have brought] these vatuable tur bearers; the matter Simost became gloomy again, There hunted the cure-all | plant jontons the - od ben deen tehen up by the authorities, [is nothing ‘more’ alarming. to a nou-|mountains and valleys of the Blue {Piva tio Olt doctir seit drove| ind Ne Sables will be permitted to be jrasthenic than to feel himself growing | (tee, Toston wo tated ie sect? |stowly down the road In hie rickety old | ua Guring the present season, and wail end (cheerful. ard pp ‘atten autumn | T wavenonet wana the matter of making an absolutely eaves that we had to catch every sap- | URRY aved my hand at him and | °) J ked afte ¢ N Rt hi shouted that T wou e John looked after me carefully. After |iime and branch. within our’ recohe bo {st 1 that T would be on hand the | ‘loved Pertod of three years te te be I had evinced so much Interest in his! save ue from tailing. next day at the usual time. He atopped | C°n#dered without delay, | White Orpington chteken he tried his!" waded through gorges and c ,|his horse and called to Amaryliis to an jbest to divert my mind, and was par st-deep with laurel and ferr mmo out to btm, They talked for five touler to lock his henhouse of nignt wed the banks of mountain streama| minutes while I waited, Then the old I Used To. radually the (onic m i alr, thelson miles: we Wollld Our aan Meo Tn drove on. wholesome foud, und the datiy walks pine-roadatde,| When we got to the house Amarylis By John L. Hobble. ady that T became utterly wretenea! ni) OF the mirnoulods} ala and sought |p USED to thins the sue on |and despondent I ard of a count’y plant ; t Y t you needn't’ call ae The stook (n allver wi bed {doctor who tived the mountains) Ag the old d rosaid, it must have|more as a patient, but he'd be glad to Would alwaye use his conection |nearby, I went to se rown scarce and hard to fmt But we)see you any time asa friend, And then | when {him the whole sto s owed our quest. Day by day welhe told me to look up my name in the | He made a deal with other men; bearded man with clea Biuinted: tha: SAGA, yolobasdia. and you what it{And then whene'er the stock was eyes, in & home-made su 1 tramped the plateaus in» of|means, It seems to be the name of al bought fant ike é tmirgeulous plant Mountain 9-1. °# genus of fowering plants, and also the | You'd find tt Just as you forethought, n order to save time Jagnosed my | » thre name of a country girl In Theocritus| And it would yteld the promised Plum. case, touched my nose with my right] home too fatigued tOland Virgil. What do you euppore the , ' torefin, rack f below the ig except fall into bed and|goctor meant by that?” But then I Bought some. knee to make riy foot kick, sounded s until morning, This we kept uP] “I know what he meant,” said I. “T my chest, stuck out my tongne and for a month 'know now 1 used to think the man who eundled asked him the price of ceme One evening after T had returne€| 4 word to a brother who may have| And slapped your back and apoke ow in Pineville on tramp with the old doce |¢ under the spell of the ungulet mild, Nt his pipe and looked at me id T took a atk | Lady Neurasthenta Then got a little loan from you, about three minutes: near the: | We! ‘The formula was true, Kven though | By telling of hts friendship true, | her,” he waid, atte a while hed Ot the To untaine drawipa heir gropingly ft, fleets the physicians of] Was just the very one to find for yan to pull through, eur it's| RINnt’s repome ’ thin apecitic. medicament, uwer? | When needing counsel of manking wim one m glad you're % again,” » for the ire one is referred {OF help in borrowing # bit, ‘an it be?" | asked eagerty. | Ww you frat came you frigit-|to good Doctor atum on Black Oak But once I tried it. taken arsen “i ened me, | thought you we at Mountain—take the road to your right exercive, ny “ Well again! T almost s “DO a! the Methodist meeting house in the/I used to think that gtrle were bling herapeu athe, ni you know that T have on nee pine grove. |t2 weaknesses of male manktné, dein, and aromat t , fi a thousand to live Absolute rest and exercise! And always anxious fer advice Ie there anything left In the p )| Amarylis looked at mo in surprise! What rest more remedial than to alt | a heir tempers [OWhy," said she, you are ax strong as with Amaryille tm the shade. and, with | yey "men! om brea Bh, pa auame nine ta/one of the plough mules, you sleep ten{a sixth sense. read the wordless Theoc: ale 1 or twelve hours every night, and you/ritan idyl of the gold-bannered blue P@? more than goods and parey pranks, ting us out of house and home,! mountains marching orderly imto the ANd never strove to rule oF lead, dormitories of the night? -_ But now Tp marries. + 1