The evening world. Newspaper, February 4, 1909, Page 16

The Evening World Daily Magazine, Thursday, February 4, 1909, ARAN ONY Rent a net AA RAR WPA AAACN WADA AE SAAR, fy i) \- Che ES etarto, I! Removed. Published Daily Except Sunday by the Preas Publishing Company, Nos. 53 to 68 Park Row, New York. F iy , } JOSHPH PULITZER, Pres, 3 Park Row, J. ANGUS SHANW, $40,-Treas., 63 Park Now By Maurice Ketten, | Entered at the Post-Ofice at New York as Second-Class Mal! Matter Bubscription Rates to The Fvening ) For Mngland and the ¢ thent and World for the United States All Countries {yt 6 Trternational and Canada, Posta) Union One Year.... «+ $5.50 | One Year. . One Month, 30! One Month By Martin Green. ++ $9.78 86 TD ‘+ VOLUME 49 risen es on és WHAT IS SUCCESS? OHN B. DETIERRE, who has been ‘in the Matteawan Insane Asylum for five years, wants to get out and be tried for murder. Six years ago he shot his broth- er. He first fired all of six shots in one revolver without hitting, and then, taking a second re-| volver, shot with better aim, The District-Attorney of Al- bany County, where the shoot- ing took place, and the State medical experts concurred that Detierre was insane. Instead of being electrocuted or sent to State’s prison he was committed to the Matteawan Insane Asy- , The Bone Heads. L [2 jocrnness @ LTHOUGH he worked on water, Fulton had a rocky road, A When he tried to show the bone heads of his time ‘Yhat he'd found @ plan to lighten wind’s and ourrent’s heavy. load, Resting oa the commerce of each land and clime, hey’d have put dim in the bughouse If they hadn't thougaé him funny; He was greeted with sarcasm when h For to launch a new Idea was a crime, ped When he told ‘em that a steamboat would make way against 4 stream You could hear the wise ones laugh @ mile away. They asked him why he'd wakened ere he'd finished out his dream And assured him that his brain had turned to whey; But he limbered up his steamboat and she started up the river, O'er the jeering crowd of scoffera dropped @ chill that made ‘em shiver, And they wondered why they'd been eo fresh and gay. jked for any money, ul. A hundred years have passed since Fulton showed ‘en. something new, hun, Now, through Miss Mary Cole- | man, a woman lawyer, he has} sued out a writ of habeas corpus, | claiming that he is sane, In his! But the bone-head population's still Intact. They're In every walk of Ie and in the halle of Congress, too, The men who'll atand for nothing but a fact. They fll with mirth until they're In a profuse perspiration When any one declares we'll have skyscraping navigation, But when {t comes—well, just watch ‘em react. testimony he told of having been | in business in the State of Wash- ington, The District-Attorney | asked whether the business was a success, “Not in a money way, but money is not success,” replied Detierre. Some Snow Flakes. | T™ discovery of graft in the Street Cleaning Department by Commissioner i" Edwards ranks with the disrcvery of ‘possum by William Howard Taft, Both were a long time coming. They have found Napoleon's horse, stuffed with straw, In the cellar of the # Louvre In Paris. This effectually disposes of the report that the steed in quese ‘ tion ts on the motive power staff of the Twenty-elghth street crosstown line, Charles M. Schwab saya he has nothing but admiration for a man who gets. the best of him In a business deal. Ice! —————E————EE (O00000000000 0000000000000 00000 0000000000000 0000 000K) : Sayings of Mrs. Solomon Being the Confessions of the Seven Hundredth Wife. Danas “What is success?” | “To be satisfied and contented is pretty near euccess,” answered | this inmate of the Matteawan Asylum, | Were these answers a sign of insanity or proof of the highest | kind of wisdom? What is success, anyhow? | Everybody wants to be successful. Hverybody admires success. | Translated Many people envy success. What is this thing which so many strive By Helen Rowland. 3 for, 80 many envy and so few attain? If Detierre’s definition of success is correct everybody should be successful, because everybody by training his or her will power should | become satisfied and contented. . | If no man can be successful without great wealth the great ma- | jority of people must be failures, because the only way that some men | are able to become disproportionately wealthy is by many millions | of other men, women and chil- be these three: the man, the woman—and the “other woman.” And a foolish maiden yearneth to be THE woman, but a wise damsel preferre. . to ba the Other Woman. For the One Woman hath all the rights—but the Other Woman hath all the amusement. The One Woman hath ali the claims—but the Other Woman hath all the attentions. The One Woman hath all the honors—but the Other Woman hath ali V vei my Daughter, in every love affair thera a HO becoming nh e . af e bon-bons ani lowers and compliments. Mistenotonstels My, but How the Neighbors Talk of Mr. Jarr and the Grass Widow! EO UA eS aE SN Sait oii BAK Wd AALRTEL Ate poor. Success may be great wealth, And, Oh, How Deep Is Their Sympathy for Poor Dear Mrs. Jarr! [)"ine evening terores no" CRMNY 8 ladome Mina—even ot | Yea, a man OWETH his wife EVERYTHING, but he payeth it grudg y ’ screen In his cate win He caught | see Mr. Jarr and his companion i were pratty bad that way, but he hardly | ingly. For a debt is a burdensome thing, and love is like unto money; a but great wealth By Revs L. M Sardell: 'Mr. Jarr’s eye and winked a stolid see Mrs, Rang ing out knew what he was saying. man preferreth to fritter it atoay upon something frivolous to paying daily is not always suc- Bim eine! fee be U8ths | German wink, Kite “It's the woman that pays" sald Mr&. | instalments unto a collector, Go to, a LIFE CREDITOR is an adomination! stepping In ahead of Mra, Kit- after Kittingly had heard this in a play | | good friends with those| and it stuck to her. “It's the womaa Moreover, a man getteth hia swife confused with kitchen soap and fried that pays’ So I always feel glad when | eggs and beef steak and coffee; but an qfinity suggesteth unto him viol@ es, 1 delleve so," stammered I read in the paper that some rich! sachet and bouquet d'amour and joss sticks and pleasant music, UE ue ames paunia urea For a man catcheth an affinity with almond paste upon her cheeks and ' y word about ise su And think of that p : ie bets . creature I threw away my Mfe on! 1/4 #mudge upon her nose. He never findeth her with her hair in the wash sell Mrs. Kite might have had a career but for him, | basin and her puffs upon the dressing-table. Lo! a wife's dresses button up ver across the way &nd he positively refuses to meet any tne back and her beauty hangeth on her curling iron; but a man believetd m going downtown to see my law tingly, the little blond grass) yer, yy check should have been in the widow, who lived | mati this morning,” sald Mrs. Kittingly in the apartments | «tes 1 f above ey So saying Mr.! ing Jarr gallantly opened the street door. He gave one | apprehensive and cess. If the mass of people cease to regard the posses- sion of great wealth as success, its possessors, be- Mr. Jarr, for you Of course the ener ni arated mdethin fr a of My expenses over and above the pit- ; ea . , j aught the ords and thinking it a penses over an P ing no longer em- vminyiltt agonized farennal'a tered fixediy ac Mr.| tance the court compels him to send me. teith childlike atmplicity that an CED frocks GROW upon her and that r HHitl ap Gadel abovelay Seimule) santana thls he way |Ah! it's the woman who pay: she hath been BORN with a Marcel wave. ‘4 nate led) hag x eee Mrs. Little does your poor) Mr. Jarr was go!ng to say, “Not al- | Verily, verily, love is a three-cornered affair, and a wise wife toll play \¢ might find their Mart ‘at the window ae | | Says." but thought better of It. “puss in corner.” Yea, she will change bases with the afinity and hand over proper level. breathed @ aigh of | yo 07 See Aa atest ale a a lat Ney aa Fal her husband with a pleasant emile, saying: “Come thou and do the chores ; ale 3e ple iige to you,” said Mrs. Kittingly. "Iam all|tingly after a pause, “but I'm going to ; 4 4 According to Oe aren Vaue he world and have nobody to ride downtown with you, it's so sweet | a"d the cooking, and walt upon the family while I go forth and live upon ‘ this crazy man’s arm!” aald Mrs, she poured forth all to have somebody who {s kind and aym-| the alimony.” And behold the WIFE shall become the AFFINITY and the Rei Fs SF Kittingly, grabbing Mr. Jarr. ‘These Mr. Jarr’s ea pathetic to talk to.” | AFFINITY shall become the DRUDGE. And this would-be REVENGEL definition anybody sue tiaiew. | dreadful icy pavementa!” ned her per Mrs, Stryver arose and passed them. | Selah! 7 who is content, no Mr, Jarr felt a chill go up his spin sneas of & man WhO “How ts your wife? How are the chil- eek C ecard TO.Mee Suppose Mrs. Jarr WAS looking! t wouldn't pay her dron? she asked pointedly of Mr. Jarr, matter with how SiBUe ree “Oh ttingly emitted a little how censorous the he whole car tittered i¢ A ’ e items 5 ae . : shriek a tting up her other hand young and beau- [t used to be that Mr. Jarr was afrald L little, is ED success than a ten millionaire filled with envy of John | held ti h to him. “It's nice one, sat women all alone. to come home in the dark, but that night | Ns) ome of Inco I ns Sto ries. D. Rockefeller’s hundreds of millions to have a big, man hold you up!" them wit And the women are the worst!" said he was afraid to come home at all. | D B Tf trrereileritamecte ceinen t : | The sweat etood upon Mr. Jarr's br Johr Mrs. Kittingly. "They are a lot of | However, while the whole neighborhood | By David Homer Bates. 3 he inmates of insane asylums, how) ajtnough jt was a very cold day. ¢ ita, that’s what they are—cats!” is pitying Mrs. Jarr, they haven't told | : many other people there are who would be declared insane! As a fa- | the saloon-keeper, was looking ove mous lunatic once said: | Zz Mr. Jarr muttered that some of them | her—as yet. NE of the stories persistently attributed to Lincoln was that referring te the brand of Gen. Grant's whiskey. That was disowned by Lincoln, who referred to its prototype when George II. remarked, upon being told thag {4 ins .] ; : li oancontaadel PAPE LA PPL — ete J “The reason I am in an insane asylum is because the majority of | f | Gen, Wolfe, then In command of the English forces In Canada, was mady e a ‘ ME) that ne wished Wolfe would bite some of hls other generals, pene eT | Have You Met JOHNNY QUIZ? .@ we xt By FG. Long fais a iittacntattad te tenia sitet aan nto ener Wiegeaent = Saar |G Ses SSO writes these reminiacences In Lealle's Weekly, was employed, and asked for news : ¢ bed! € trom the front, Manager Wilson replied, Good news, because none; whereupon taba: 7 7] ~ Lincoln eald, ‘Ah, my young friend, that rule does not always hold good, for @ , 4 ij A Wy, ~ " ‘, tte’! L e tters F rom t h e Pe 0 | TYPEWRITIN’=) (THE /DEA, ye (BACK UR! Tia FOVER- ~~ ( WHAT? IN No! You OING BAT) IM TAKING THE] | “therman does not consider it good luck when he can’t Ket a bite, y WIE eee FRICASS 7/SING Ai NEW) SMOURNIN G, | PROMOTING A SYNDICATE fOUNG HOPE= Lincoln never swore but once in the hearing of the operators, beyond hig use CU Reaen } a f pp FRICAS SEE, TURKISH _¥ 2) OLD —— Fut OUT of the phrase, “By jings!” Even that he thought was profane, and he apologized Y Which Ie the Stronger? it would we ean : HY” LEGA, WO/GHRET TE) FRY 9 CHAP. FOR AN to us for its utterance, adding that his good old mother had taught him that anye To the Edltor of The Evening World Poa egey ened 0G sendihimeawey INRA) 2)W/TH_ At ey A AIRING? tiling that had a “by"’ before {t was swearing. History tells ua that Washington’e ' didn't be and hy Aas only “swear word" was Damn!” which he shouted to a cowardly officer at Mone A claims that the Dardenelies in Tur- key forms the strongest fortification |n a s #8 hale 5 mouth. Strange to say, this also was IAncoln's only ‘swear word,” at least the (Ne World. B MAyA{IHAC CIDPAILAT b THAT ie sesvoos te only one the operators ever heard him utter, APEETHR URE IPD He had received a telegram on Sept. 21, 1888, indicating that Gen. Burnside wag atudiad ssigh Thallase device tate en H every evening, Helleve me. my on his way to Jonesboro, Tenn., a place further away from Rosecrans than whem might be of interest in there dave of pee en 8a i would sltke hint ( he had been ordered to go to the latter's relief, Wien Burnside’s telegram waa “defense Woup a credit to me and to bimself oh, shown him, Mr. Lincoln sald, “Damn Jonesboro!" He then telegraphed at once te | i MRS. 3 uP wW Burnslde, "Go to Rosecrans with your force without a moment's delay,” “Loote the Dowler!* Apply at SP. . 4, OMcen, No, 50 Vali} , To the Editor of 7 ed Madiaon Avenne. tel ‘ T notice that ‘Loole” is becoming a+7? Tne Woe | jue ; ’ H , PT GE Ns A rege eT The Day’s Good St a Aiaivnitsing used te a particu. horses falling on the streets where p Ss H e ays ories larly hard shot, s spils, & a truck was almos: impossible, and are ae ret eter ] crease in | 888 t ane = ARE Yi TH So eTROE 7 Time Up! t She Wanted Her Fish, C. LYON. M. pb, | ha pea RSKINC AL / Nie F : EGET CANNA get ower Itt” said Bandy OWN sat an old gentleman beside if A Twenty-Three-Letter Word, S20. Sit stand og B Foouisy | \¢ MacTavish to his wife. “Wad ye a little girl in an English rathe 4 ES eae cial and ‘ho told np (QUESTION?) believe i? T put @ twa-shillin’- way carriage, and presently he y 6 thy aor 0 A hd ge ate tor, 4 ah piece in the plate at Kirk this morn In- | oygerved that she was glancing uncome called ; Ob theiBeoPeG. A stead o' ma usual penny.” fortably at him and looking uneasy Hey, Diogenes! Here “Weel, Sandy, {f I was you, I shouldna | ang jt dawned upon him that he wae word that t Your Man, e . “electropotomicrog Blitor of The F put ony money in till the fower-and- | sitting on her newspaper. 4 ty-three letters R ua — ‘avi an ‘} bbaths are up,” suggested | tere,’ he said, pulling the papee ie . " e ot ‘ ; Mra, MacTavish. |from under him and handing it to hem Another “Unraly Roy, Vesa ae Pi ; Nl, Ing on her advice, Sandy | «tm sorry.” . 8) ded ithe: tleke ait Sas ‘dtdn't The little girl did not took quite satioe Nel acne fa gave me four q H Onitnestyentyaath Sabbath the far | fed, but she sald nothing til, half am 15 80 qu os mer again th late, | ; in Ly ny be ' « joking straight in front of him; but the |hour later, the train drew up at het ' lo see La * A old beadle was not to be cheated, Hold. | station. nat ne e ng the plate in front of the crafty | “Please, sir,” she then {nquir BerMesd And Al donools |) don't’ know Veay® Nie anoite Seoteman, he exclaimed In & loud, tragle | meekly, “may I have my fried fish ‘ 7 Sor ne would have x ay with that Son, then, Sandy, mon—Sandy, your | It came out of the paper and you ar@ fm what way to punish him ‘old mones HONEST time's up the meat” " aitting on it.” 2