The evening world. Newspaper, September 19, 1908, Page 8

; i Phsasd. — ‘ a i we © pg GRIMM 5 oP 8H saath v t 7 World Daily Magazine, Saturday, September 19, 1908, | Directoire. i’e & Ghent Head. 1% Pawtiohed Daily Bxoept Sunday by the Press Pubtishing Company, Nos, 58 te 6 Bv Maurice Ketten. © naa But Not for Thinking : Hash 14 Borers, 3. aNal LAW, See. Trane, 291 Weer 111 Street Entered at the Post-Office at New York as Second-Class Mati Matter, Pubsoription Rates to The Hvening | For England and the Continent and rd for the Unite State Yountries he International . t Bre te Pace lee | At couse ae By Gertrude Barniim, Year... + $8.50 One Year. . ” ‘ me Month, oa One Mfonth.. T was an “excursion.” The boat was packed to the aidt : as I railings on all decks. Just in front of us, agonizing VOLUME ADs issscc scacsecevseeervs ; vee NO, 17,198. $n toothpick-pointed slippers and tlghtly-laced stays, & - pai aera eee stood a rouged and blondined beauty with & stupendous coiffure, which the wind had blown wuazy as the locks TIME TO CALL THE DOCTOR. of a Zulu warrior, There was an incessant battle between 3 the girl and the elements for the capture of puffs and ia From time to time the Bureau of Labor at Washington presents a for curls, rats and nets and tangled wisps. uF MEtEneiRieee Ori atatinc oatahoeiee ber percen taken prera|lligiwaces/and _ “Dhat's what I call ‘a great head," said my friend Ke dna, ifting off her little panama and turning her fore- ke ‘the cost of Mving. Wages invariably tmorcase a fraction and the cost of head to the playful breezes. "1 wonder how many hours 5 Ming increases more than a fraction, wut !f anything ever comes of all = a Tees me spends getting it up and taking it down and be pO) : putting {t In ourl-papers!” i this ciphering the public ts not the wiser. | y NOTA "T can Just about tell you," said Milly, of te shams ¥ To the average man the {ncrease in the cost of living is not expressed | NESS Tani CAB rar es he “She's got to bleach it at least twice ba eS per week without she wants the roots to show dark, Then, it takes every bit ie very clearly in decimals eo attenuated that even to mathematicians and of a half to three-quarters of an hour to fix it lke that—and two or three & economists they have little meaning. The increase in the cost of living times a $8 mind you.” uy f ks “A ten-hour day every week, anyway,” Edna calculated. ‘'A person could “hr dma very real and substantial thing, and it !# made known every day in the| learn several {mportant things in that space. Besides, there's the time spent kt ear in terms of dollars and cents, It is no problem in algebra, It ts In patting and petting !t end holding ft on—like now. Whey!” * Herolcally the “blondined” wrestled to straighten her hat, to sey in place Ky @imply a case of stand and deliver. side-combs and back-combs, to secure {n pais haeane and hatpins anawvall The percentage experts at Washington are merely proving a case that | : ‘was long ago established. They have proved it by all the processes known | g @ mathematics, Is there never to be a remedy, and are we to go on for) & @ver adding, subtracting, multiply!ng and dividing, with no suggestion ot) tie enything but figures and more figures? | There is a demand for cheaper food and cheaper clothing, for cheaper Might and fuel and for cheaper rents and transportation. How can thesa and scolding-lock pins; but each merry wind gust made fresh mischief with the flapping, stepping, messy artificial mai “That'a not the worst about it, elther,” Milly sald. ‘I'd sure like the fun of telling her where false hair comes from. Oh, you know that opium-soaked Chinese sell thelr cuea to be made into ladles’ pompadours?”’ "Ugh!" I shuddered, wondering what germs of misery and disease might at that very moment be tossing out from the tumbled pate hefore us. But Edna seemed most impressed by the thought of tle wasted time. “Think what an hour means!" she cried. “And then to put ten to twenty hours per week In getting that wild effect—about all the leisure time @ working : girl gets before marriage. I suppose, after, she probably won't more than just ty Sbings be had when trusts and monopolles and all manner of forestallera| \ give it @ twist in a tight wad at the neck. Some poor man's going to get a ffimd favor, when public extravagance resulting in burdensome taxation has| DIRECTOIRE \ Jar whan he sees her take It off first, And if he’s shocked at what she wears feo check, when everything entering into domestlo consumption must de| HATS ioe \ Y on top her head he'll be worse done for when he finds what's inside her skuil~ or, rather, what he don’t find there. “Nothing but little rate In that garret—and tangles and deceits and germs for trouble, and great, vacant, dark places that'll make a man cry like & shia shut in a closet—only worse, because the man can never, never get out once he's in his dark closet. ‘Men are not so much, themselves, of course. But a girl can see that dy looking at them. They don’t fool us much, I tell you, tisn't fair the way | women ‘make up’ before marriage and let down after.’ "You needn't worry this time," laughed Milly. “That never believe it's her own after to-d See how grumpy wonder she didn't think to stay inside. Think!” Edna repeated, scornfully, And she added with conviction: “It's bought in a tariff-cornered market, and when powerful corporations, the @reatures of the State, are not adequately controlled? Accountants and actuaries are auditing the wrongs and oppressions of | @ great people to no purpose when the problems with which they deal| never get beyond the ghastly columns of percentages that make up thelr wearisome reports. To count and note down {nterminably the pulse-beats | and the respirations of a patient will not suffice. Is there no doctor within reach, and, !f there be one, ts he not to be called? ‘8 Johnny will look, It's @ ++o ° DIREC TORE A great head, but not for thinking.” i Bac Sata TRYING IT ON A DUMMY. wise oon popeenaatoaneaneone What a pleasing thing !t would be {f the traction companies, which are just now experimenting with new fenders by throwing dummies In front of them, would try some of their other nerve-racking, patience-de- stroying and money-accumulating schemes upon similar effigies! The dum- mies in use are not highly intelligent in appearance, but otherwise they resemble men and women very closely. If a person made of hay 1s good } enough to be picked up by @ fender in the public interest, or thrown fifty ‘ feet in the alr, or mutilated under the wheels, as the case may be, why e to Raw Youths. By Hiram Hall. of calf love! she intends to be an old maid, be supe are its va-| she's plotting destruct wares. Marriage | is the only reality, | After the secon and it is sterner |take it's a safe het than its parent. ing the gas meter, T= charms| If she starts right away by saying way mle- should not the compantes give us a few tests with dummies and manikins ; nl ris wate ' going to show the evils as well as the possibilities of overcrowding? } Just to see what would happen, why not hook an Imitation of a spry young man onto a car going twenty miles an hour whose driver refuses to When studying) Never turn a light out when the same the color of a /@ffect can be produced by the wind. eyes, the ap- It's an ill wind that blows no girl good, proved method Is by the small end of a feldglass twenty paces. stop and then make a careful inspection of the damage done to the un- happy creation? In the further interests of science, how would it do to| nianufacture a fat man and let him alight gracefully from a swiftly moving Never say pooh-pooh en a gint lly declares If, Sho'e ng you @ tryout, and tnyare iably follows it with Jiu-fiteu, found that the engine house wasn't locked, and In a short time the fire depart- car for the purpose of learning exactly what will happen to him and what) ment was on the scene. Lils condition will be after he has turned three or four handsprings and By Roy L, McCardell. Istaithal midatroe) thalconfusioni the: batoer announded (hatiayousomernwasl| Naw nnatannemiyculene mea neyed| To study th an ver in the plac In the chair, and gallant volunteers rushed in and woke him| eee kissed before, quit and eee how) Penne Senne Ck Cowate) bog 4 Piaaiel eat? shorus | e asleep in the chair, and gallant volun’ n ‘ ‘ has finally lodged against the curbstone? sé H's a large time last week, lad!” sald the Chorus } To complete these exhilarating demonstrations, why not have a dummy | postage stamp angles is inebriation un- nuch she misses tt Bis Girl. “The bunch motored down to Bustany- |UP And told him to get out, the place was on fire, But he said he didn’t care, u Ke | qualified ae ; oq | He'd come to get a hair singe, anyway. 7 = Never call @ lady Honey or Molas: body's cafe on Long Island, and we week-ended | ] | = But for the efforte of the | cal hose company the fire would have gone out the little things. Smalt : } ten | Ith the Bigelow-Bigel , 5 Ma to6 aldaley i of a poor workingwoman carrying a handbag full of nickels ride in one of lghesgeraon Pies i lovely, only he is worried now |S¢¥eral times, but they encouraged and coaxed !t along and a pleasant time was | °' CoG Ike ir It's too sticky a thantot a rodene ' geto 4 ONY 7 7 it nome to complimentary. he ¢ rtsh { our crosstown cars and see how many of the coins the conductor can get because he tWinks his halr ts falling out. It’s a very nice | had by all i‘ ex € aploe of courtship, } : hatr, too, and can be seen from quite a distance when he| — ‘‘I've been offered a chance to play jead with one of Bob MeBride's ‘Dev’ | ; , eere en } per-minute? takes hie hat off. jcompanies. He's going to put out four this season Better be told to go home than tase raged ess ‘ ‘t by asking q a ee The merry villagers of Huntington, L. I. all turned} "The Devil’ is aM the rage now, and it will be played as often as the mov. | ut your watch too jearly) Nee e third finger, Measure it by the other two. Palsied be the out for a baseball game, and just at the fatal ninth inning, |" 8 pictures. : THE TRUST AND THE PARTY. when the score was twenty-five to twenty-fiv ith two “Charley Face {€ already gone out with a ‘Devil’ company, Of course, it ie| 4 well-blown lass is the apple of a tongue that so forgets the rest of us, 3 » 4 blic: paigi men out and three men on bases, and the local Swat Mijli- |On' ‘Faust’ brought up to date, but Charley Pace says t moo! won't know] Young man's eye and a lemon to his, =: ; Mr. Bryan's charge that the Steel Trust is payiug Republican campaign gan at the bat, Charley Bigelow, who was umpiring, heard |any better, He's got out his old ‘Faust’ scenery and says his hell setting wil!| Pocketbook, Ambiguous, Read “Soda- A caprictous woman establisheth all over all the accepted versions of ‘The Devil.’ Out in the rural districts, | Water Tess, the Flatiron Girt.” many an evil custom. bh Face says, they want action for thetr money, and he'l! give them ‘Faust’ SS Our party included Abie Wogglebaum and Louie Zins | with the hell scene, fireworks and all, only he'll rename his cast. revise” the tariff, | helmer Dopey McKnirit and Mamma De Branscombe and Amy De Brans My. Foster,’ Mephistopheles will be ‘Mr. B, Zelbub,’ Marguerite A W I t d th C ll |wombe and Archie Gunn and 'Gene Redding and me, and we wasn't intereste ge,’ Martha will be ‘Matty,’ faithful servant; Valentine will be) oman nven G' é 0 ar, It {s the only trust which the present Administration has permitted tOlin the fre, because we don't own property down there, and we didn't see why | the solfler brother in a United States naval lieutenant uniform, as they !s always | absorb an important competitor—the Tennessee Coal, Iron and Railroad|they coul’ 't let the eame go on so p' | By Rutherford Hayner. “But Charley Bigelow sald they had baseball every Saturday, but fires were Company. It is one of the few really great trusts which have not beeD|, rare occurrence, because they couldn't have them whenever they wanted T ts now authenticated beyond a doubt that Mrs. Hannah Lord Mone was the inventor of the detachable linen collar, Hannah Lord was born in Canaan, Columbia County, Dec. 14, 17M, a daugh- expenses is not supported by documentary evidence, but it ia plausible. Bteel ts the greatest of all the trusts, It is the principal benefici tariff. It is always consulted when the Republicans the alarm bell ringing and calied the game on accoun: of | Put | fire ¢ ary of the “Charley Face says Lewis Morrison and Joe Callahan and Porter White made $ out of ‘Faust,’ and now he feels sure he can bring home the kale with | lines and scenery, only using rn costumes and calling it ‘The Devil,’ he Jay towns {8 always clamoring for all them metropolitan hits. | why not y got excited and threw a can of gasolene threatened with prosecution. It was never known to bolt a Republican | them, and Loule Zinshelmer wanted to know “It was a beautiful fire. So nomination, unless the candidate happened to be weak-kneed on the su|on jt, and every face grew pale as the flames mounted higher and higher, and Vhat's wanted in the dra Charley Face says, Js something elevating ter of Willlam A, Lord, a Revolutionary officer, member of the fect of protection, jsoon the devouring element was casting a pall of smoke ovegethe communtiy, Well, why don’t somet drama the elevated road?" | State gislature, and the author of “Lord's Tactics,” used the early State F ” and, while every heart stood still and strong men turned away aghast, it | ee bee es | militia, She was married on Aug. 14, 1817, to Orlando Montague, and they took Qratitude for all the blessings of the past. a keen apprectlation of the | looked for a moment as ff the saloon next door would be a total loss. | | up thetr residence at No. 199 Third street, in Troy. Mr. Montague, as near aw , ral " } Ars 5 fn a tonsorial studio, and tt was here that the | r i t can be learned, was engaged in making fine shoes for women. He was a large htful immunities of the present and a lively antictpation of the good) ‘The flames first burst out | n i, can dels! > Sood) 1 directed thelr efforts as soon as they could get the key to the| The Animals Have Sympathy wan, scrupulously particular In matters of drese—even to the point of fastldl things to come would all seem to conspire to mate this particular trust | PMMEDIATELY in front of my house is a small paddock, in which there, ousness—and tn those days, before the invention of the sewing machine, and exceedingty cordia) and generous !n its dealings this year with the Repub: Bigelc Ww, who isc of the fire department in Huntington, naa} | nave been feeding a por and four cows In a tiny clump of grass and | when there were no public laundries, the making and washing and troning of seball grounds and put on his fireman's uniform, and {t was] ittercups is a willow wren’s nest filled with young, says a writer In/ his shirts was no small ltem !n the work Of the household, Not unlike maay ge lican party. In fact, there are sections of the United States {n which trust| then found that he had left the key of the engine house somewhere. |Country Life. Though all the grass around it {s closely cropped, this ltse | housewives hose daya, Mrs. Montague was resourceful, and In casting about | Pending the finding of the key and the arrival of the hose cart and hook and | clump remains absolutely untouched. Am I wrong In believing that birds have | for devices to lighten her household duties, she hit upon the !dea of a detacned r re go closely allied that it is impossible to tell where one} Sea rary art: e ? : Le: |ladder truck, some busybodles started to put the fire out, but were ordered out-|some system of communicating thelr whereab begins and the other leaves off. jside the lines and not to interfere with the fire laddies or be In thelr way CR consider , and that the larger animals | colar, which might be fastened to a neckband on her husband's shirts, and ation and care for, the weak and helpless we, too often, despise | washed and {roned separately. ns So they got on the premises, Finally they found a key that fitted, and it was then|and set at naught? In 1820 Rev, Ebenezer Brown, a retired Methodist clergyman, who had set- fled in Troy and started a small dry goods store at No. 285 River strqet, quick HITCHCOCK'S KINDERGARTEN, to take advantage of the popularity of the new separate collar, opened wma ; ughte : Sometimes the secrets of the great are made known in the servants Gloomy Gus, the Astrologer, Gets Busy as By F, G. Long’ orealcod NVEaI Tee Seibel ark mere hie ited det ie Esa ons ahi hall, and so when Speaker Cannon's secretary rema’ that Chairman| wennnnnmmnnmmmnnnns | eoned the collars, which he disposed of by peddling. This was in reality tho | frat collar shop.—Leslle's Weekly remains there Hitchcock's Republican headquarters in New York is “a kindergarten | 161s marso? (Uma! Scan. (SH! COME ON IN AG PErARKABLe ) | (OSE A) FROST AND SNOW, | | Ene Sennen afiair” it ts to be Inferred that that view ‘s also held higher up, Mr. | )WATA awre:) > THREATENS A (15 A SHATIE 10 \ > AIMOSIHERIE | 1) LV af QUE SEPT 30 OR | | ' Z | Bes MEMBER OF THE Tare Tue MONEY) ( DISTURBANCES | {C ocr 2) ~AND= . Nations and Standing Armies. Hitchcock {s neither so old nor so tough as Mr. Cannon, but he has a sus aT D f.Gas y ( PRESS- AN. WILL OCCUR: / Ls AND * iclon that !t Is not good policy to make the Speaker very conspleuous Lees oat : Tak Cano- 5 HE most unmilitary nation in the world {s the most backward—Chtmw, Meeps erste pect e® sed : BUSvaUe le ca if | ‘The nations that most neglect thelr military forces to-day are #hvmp and he not hesitated to say 80. Having taken the that suffer most from militarism, tyranny and revolutions—the Latine mp on his own respons Mr. Cannon is now | Americans, Pancrata be fenting the labor unlon Tithe Rev | 0 The nation that has most astonished the world by its enormous progress q t he Jabor wu) mG Xv | along all lines lias been the one that has {n recent years turned most of all to ] A ar bn they s 114 keep him ear | milltary Hfe—Japan. Toa Gat nthe A ‘a a ane % The European nation that to-day is making for the greatest strides In indus- Mee nee se ee Orne orate a , RAC LY | trles and the world's progress and comme the one that keeps the greatest t | standing army of the world—Germany. ’ The sation that through distrust refused to keep @ standing army has been | wiped out—Poland.—From Army and Navy LAfe. Letters irom the People. THE DAY'S GOOD STORIES. ce nae A Family (fate , fmt. (ome ( AN : | y f ) wie £ Occur || Wf ehoenic yt Nae | neck and wings outapread to cateh } 6 fat 5 ; INTHE | F S') /wurcocek) \ tlc 7 Afloat on Hot Air. the glint of the sea, moving along in i 1 1 } wy Tue f° f & among MEIQ\ \7 IB MBERS of the House of Repre-| serene and stately splendor, but biisa- es Ni y centatives are fond of poking fun! fully unconscious of the unfathomable ce ? depths below at the florid style of speech af | fected by a certain Kentucky Congr man, »ho invarinbly contributes much |Was Used to It. hot ale’ to any debate in which he } Ona very hot Sunday may participate was required to accomp ning James y bis father oa On one oceasicn in aues- | io church 4 ion ventured to That was ‘contrary to his inclination, \ , financial act under ¢ ration ald he. ‘Ww i people } when he drew the follow ribald ob- | ven it is so ” tions from an opponent 4 father replied, “Sates Our able and adventurous friend sis a wor x weather ae @f A Fishy Dispute from Kentucky has undertaken to anv time present his views upon this question. “On.” sald , but Saten . “ « In this he rominds me of a beautiful does mind hot weather!" —Pypde n-law te the Presi aa| fo oifanen bape vr. @ eee swan, breasting the sea with arched Ledgor 4 ‘ 4 F