The evening world. Newspaper, July 11, 1908, Page 7

“4 - , MAGAZINE SECTION. “ Circulation Books Op By- Barton No. 3. ARD ta the lot d of the man who finds mself wedded to drooping Itly, We vist shoulder « ible Su » The Wife her whims. 3 no positive ~s and her kes and dislikes e Indirect. Her f accomplish- ment {a the veful yawn. She can yawn in a variety of drooping poses. “How {a the new cook?” vou ask. “Impossible,” she sighs “why?” Bhe droops. blue, green, ¢ egard you Her big brown (black, or tawny) eyes Ured reprvach, ew Wie W. Currie. Concerning the Lackadaisical Wife. sort from ¢he Drooping One. Alas! no you ask petulantly If the cook n the demands of her art No, she is an excellent cook, She Is a wizard In the concoction of sauces, the Dlending of eravies. The wods would have given her at least half a lease on immortaty. Neverthelass she {a “im- possible,” and there you are—backed {nto a blind alley. You come home to vour tidy IHtle villa! and are greeted by the children They | wildly affectionate and you love them dearly, But they are all stuck un with party stuff, and if you did not know the darlings wet your own you wou'd not be sure of thelr color, ‘The long-suffering husband leads them lt \to the Lackadaisical Wife, She Is found| Hanguidly absorbed in “Lady Gwendo-| lyn's Purple Passion." Why did you bring those awful chi!- jdren in to her? appearance ts “Take the Kiddles Up and Wash Them, Jimmie!” How should she know WHY the cook le! YOU are the active, one. 1 do not stay at re(yawn)ally, that Then {t must be the cook's fault. The Drooping One can’t think of amy other reason why you should not be at home with the cook, True, 1s elderly, wears boot has @ respectable, middle-axed mustache and dyes her gray hair so that when she {s warm dusky streams ride down the gullies of her wrinkled cheeks, You may mention these facts peevishly, She {s not attractive. You would Hke to get @ rise of some! home with 1s true.” | with side straps | | posttively shooking. they look ke Uttle gypsies, Where is the nurse? “Oh, ho! Was ever one burdened as 1. Poor nurse was run over by an !ce wagon, and I had to wive here day off. Take the kiddies up Positively, and wash them, Jimmie that's a good oy.” So there you are, and you feel almost vindictive against the progress ot civilization and the modern conven- tions that restrain a man {rom standing a jarge, thick club in @ corner for use in domestic emergencies. And the Laok- adalsical Wife lives to a Mpe old age, ja@nd when she goes to the heights of the harpers languldly asks St, Peter how many of her mundane partners have arrived. But they are waiting at | the wall, vera over. They see her first and diva, chuakling, back into the brimstone, When She Comes to Town. By Margaret | HAVE to 50} to town," ex: plained the worhan who Is stay-| in the country, | ow know there; are so yery many| things to buy for) a country house— so much shopping to do for the chil. dren and’everybody —that it ts abso- lutely necessary for | me to go to town) ence fn two weeks anyhow. Of course, 1 wathe It. It's beautiful Im the country, and the very thought of the bot eity makes me shudder; but of eourse one must keep one’s house in order, and the good housekeeper must sacrifice herself to her family,” ‘There was the usual amount of peo ple on Forty-second street, but the Avenue was mifficiently empty to give one a good view of the shop windows, where wonderful summer sales brought even Paris clothes down to @ resson- able figura “1 didn't expect to have another em- broidered dress,” mused the woman from the country, ‘but what is the use of resisting such a bargain—and {m- ported, too? Do you think that little French coat would fit me? Yes? it's certainly reasonable, I'll take that, and since the black hat Is go cheap I might as well take that too.” Attired in her new hat and frock, {t struck her at once that her hair was no longer the burnt chestnut shade @ should be, but that it had been dis- tinetiy Dieached by sun and waves. Touching up takes a long time, and though the woman from the country had boarded a very early train it was two iclock before her hair was perfect Agen., and even then she had not time! “have her face bleached or pay any | @ttention <o her brown hands, ®he Junched with a.woman friend at @ nearvy restaurant, and the friend, who remains In town during the sum- mer, tried In valn to get her to spend another day, staying with her over might and joining @ motor party that a herein ce ot mit te Well, | Hubbard Ayer, | woman from the country ‘I feel T must get every moment I can of coun- try Ute andscountry alr. and I'm only in town to get a few thingr for the hou! Three o'clock saw her Joining the crowd of women who flocked to see the “Real Cheap Gown" exhibit, and an hour after that she had succumbed to the Imre of @ magic cure for freckles demonstrated by @ smart young lady in a tea shop Tea fol- lowed the cure. ‘Twas indeed neces. sary to ledulge in something stimu- lating on @uch a fatiguing day. She suddenty realized that she was due to cateh @ train in twenty minutes and must eush back to the station. At the Grand Central she fe for her ticket 4 her dag and drew out the shopping Mate pacing tials aaa peor “Touching Up” Takes a Long Time, “Therel"'she exclaimed. “That's the way it Is in the city! One never has time for anythin, I haven't had a minute to get these things, so I'll just have to stay in town over night, be- cause a house in the country ts much care.” Bhe went to the booth to telephone Qn acceptance for the motor party. That le how the woman {rom the country spends hed. in town, | Open to All, NEW YORH, SATURDAY, JULY |“ Ctroutation Books Open to Al,” 11, 1908. MAGAZINE STO SECTION. _ (Author of “Laies of ExTanks.” j | No. $—Never Hit a Ball Club Whoa! Tonapay mining stock and they don’t | ‘scouse cook on « turpentine wndjam im row they're ao delighted over tt that It's Down—Jump on Itl K IND of a Ro quefort ball b ay? Aure |t Let's all stand ind ci of pig-lead Btlek tt inks at new some helves those we'll matt low's all eting. hat? The ret CLARENCE L CULLEN clucksy You've got It ikles and pou belong on the Alfalfa Ciroui:? to ft. Stand closer Up some way to stick a t m i uve got A ball club that's temporary fantods needs elps ‘em In their work. Let's all tur » porcupines «nd stake the club to hat quill treatment The gaff-ended goad, dug in 's what those play ke them you don't lay down on you pan. day and s need t I sp they'll @ positiy- ehave and win games, t ‘em to a That's t ist thine you apprehend All and there makes bums of ball players You've got te keep quirting them with that Simon Logree stuff or carry thelr bags of s lot and go to sleep right tn fr you, The only way to keep th fully on the job Js to spray siuge and nails from tha n mountain how!ters, Any a kind word to or about a that's a litte glassy for the they think th: you say you're helleve it Rall players ought to play the #ame & every day, just like racehsries ought to run the same kind of a race every time they mooch up to the net- ting. If they don’t, why, they're crumbs of Camembert and the only ig to do Is to get off the fuso unter the crumbs and make rarebite of them, ; wil AW YOUSE COULDNT, MARBLES When you fall down y fob that enables you to snag the Luna ht wn because you can't seem to get the ruff out of your wicks, r something—did you ever no! how t pucks you up In your work to have n the rin und-rosy en a Kind of neor- tning bug in a@ cis be a knockout as e hands B- the middle and all of y u're you'd word of encouragement here You've Got to Keep Quirking Them Alon ner’ sailing between Brunswick, Ga. |when they're lounging around the hatel and Pensacola, Fla., but that, as It !s, lobby at might they can’t talk because you're a firkin of oleo and therefore |tney're so happy. They're afraid to! s walking violation of the Pure Food trust themselves to say anything for Law? : fear tho other guests might conalder| Sure, you've noticed It AM of US lthem too enthuslastio, when we're noi energizing up to con- It means really and truly nutriment te the players themselves when the team boots a long series of games, and) that's why they like it #0, You sa, when the team gets on the rocks seme | of the players are pretty Hable to be} furloughed and then shifted to the Os. kaloosa or Alpena Club, and they all balloon up with Joy at the thought of | hat. cert pitch, need to de grilled back to by ko the pitcher that aid the heaving to-day, Hoe wasn't trying at all, be he knew very well that {f he w the grine the owner of the club| vould be taking him to the Ka-Knick | for supper this evening and that prob. | ably tind ten or twelve extra pis In his pay envelops en coming voross day. | He knows, too, that If he blows about! cause hed four games {n a row Ike that every- body he knows will be saying that he ts there with a Haviland fin, and that he ought to voluntarily ease out of fast any ond trap a groundkeeper’s Job n some vA league in the hayin’ and of course that's the reason yay he slanved ‘em over as straight as a stick of uncooked maocaron! so that everybody could puah ‘em out of the Z jou g With That Simon Legree Stuff.) ‘There ts not anything to It, a ball club (fe ‘ that Kets the wabbles and goes to tle ink-hot alee bars In the mitte of oUF | canvas for the count for a little wile mateys, and then we'll 50 alOng \ngeds to have the big bumble put on And hit 451 for the remainder of the iy every minute while It’s down and In season, Uh-huh, | or never will cone ack. nou migat GR ANER IER Lace ioe ; me as Well try to fill ap Caliph, the park dh, they're 'boes all right, those hom- Mo ninkalnawartheraterriarahe on that ball team. y Ike to ws, fed one at @ thue, as to help ies them alinost demented|a pounded ball club by staking i! to an ional coating of salve to lose, 'y turn into dancing mice\ Neyer hit a hall club when tt 1s down: every time they think about how much | Just cover the players up where they fun {t ts to lose jlay with bottles and cushions, and the next day they'll come vicht back and ; r When they drop about ning games In| nny their heads off for vou. From H1 Glasses to Green Glasses. NEW YORK, July 1 EAR GREEN D All the fe lowe In the Broadway are Org: movement of ‘There's the 8. F T. N, Club, signi- the Nonce Clu», which proposes to waiter-wagon hunts and hy- drauito outings during the season, and wich is an independent offshoot of the Forty-second Street Country Club. ‘There is also the Society of The Stick-| Ing-Around Kids, whose motto ia} “gomething May Come Off at Any Time, and who meet evenings In our most leading cafes, And there are many | others. But the best of all is the ia) we have just organized under the HD) of the Society for the Canning Gs As cient Wheezes. You will renaily un deratand its usetuness when I eX Sts purposes. First-No drag Gov r will membe oa Hughes's whiskers into the Ce asia time to time, but no good resv ted; be still wears them. Besides, no Doane se te werved by drageiny in whisl ul Copectally during the consomme cou: : or when corp i being merved on the “ii Th: sheath @ «Directoire oF ee not be mentioned again in bay Batt under any clroumstances, | Kevracabes who undertakes to get with the French language and aS {t as the Directory Skirt, and then tties to back up the play bs saying he calle it that because you can see all along the line from Beets stein to Anklebury, will be subject to inatant expulalon. By Cora M W. Greenleaf. And a blush ip its heart a dream; Three Roses. dae’ morgen her hat, with its petals of cream, hidden deep, Halt yelled In rare lace, 1s a poem, And it perfumes tho dreams of my nleep. ‘The rose {n her hand ts @ deen, damask red: Ite crimson heart sprinkled with gold. ‘And the perfume {t shed must have gone to my head— Shaped my day dreams ‘to have ‘and to hold.” But the rose on her cheek—ah! the rose on her cheek— Blossoms falr—may it never de. part. to gather all three of those roses I seek, And that is the dream of my heart, New York Thro’ Funny Glasses 23 _ By lrvin S. Cobb. ® ports that have ceased people in really’ mplate mak ing up collections to furnisi blankets and anthracite to the poor a1 New York )) VS Se warm places much as Denver and Min- (= | neapolls to seriously eon \ during July and August, |] | Pourth - Writers of humorous news | Stories for Uie daily papers who are | | describing escape of harmless gar- rt fer snakes on "L/’ trains or in street \ cars will b senuly but firmly warned against saying that one of the fugitive awled mto the vision of a Nard drinker, who thereupon leaped up, creaming out that those he had heen accustomed to in the past always had pink whiskers and light blue eyes, ‘To {sh this needed reform will un doubiedly (eke Ume, because tt means (he destruction of an anclent precadent, but we hope eventually to build up a style of drunken man who will caluily pick Up the wandering garter snake by the wills and werateh It under the arma eyantt Menibers will be requested Jesist from making remarks about tie vrs from out of town who ride on “Scratch It to Make ‘t Puce” sightseelig coaches, 1 they look funny Third—In future all reference to New er and more rainfall in summer, and yo en is aaah Sa York as a summer resort will ba ecru- the same applies to New York. InvieW eixth Jokes based on Tim W. pulously avoided. There's another large, of the kind of temp: oy wave, Deena way watstite tale DIMA UIC eeeaee pulous community located some dis- ing for the best part of a month it 4), ‘é lee ise tance south of here that would be @ will be regarded as highly Improper to Vemends, Le hac eettl Ofpar summer resort {f !t had pleasant weath- ‘circulate any more o Barn erselhs pan pelgn OleAt® ee ta rae sae ae and the siz of the cuff on a Cones | Island bess will ve considered capite ' : AONSOBORO SBn) offenses | * Seventh necessary force will be | Ree ured to break the descriptive writers of I ilian Bell toe habit of saying that the Southerners a at any public gathering gave the rebel 2 Writes of yell when the band viayed “Dixie” 8 . rae cre i based o the tact that | i he rebel yell ts usuuily given h : Fire Escape Manners, ¢ 220 ce cre one 8 and yviotnity, fo) Eighth--No gentleman rill say “Ain't P live In emall towns mise much of life's ex- perience, For one thing there are seldom any bulld- tall enough thickly poou- enough to nted fire escapes, and therefore the stories of the teeming life of a great city 1s large- ly gathered from travellers’ tales or ings or lated the Sunday newa- | Papers, But any one who wishes to wee and hear lfo teem, one who has never in contact with peasant ite abroad and who has never been to Ellis Island, can get @ very good composite {dea of the whole immigrant Idea by pying an apartment which backs to as row of fire escapes which form the back yards to clty kitchens, up I am 80 blessed, Counting the fire escapes which I can see from ail my windows, I am authority on fifty-six dit. ferent brands of fire escape manners, noises, nationalities and favorite songs. There is one deep-lunged Swede on the fourth floor back who ts tunetully inclined, It was not so bad in winter, But from morn until dewy eve, that Swede sings “The Merry Widow Walts,” ROPLE who! If it had words, {t would help some, Tt Awful, Mabel?’ under an: tlon unless the lady ed Mabel, when provoca- happens to be ve will utter the she fust sings “da-da-da-da, da-da-da- Sa,” until one day the ledy below me remark in Ne and (ronedle sbouted viefously, "I wigh you'd shut “7; vt Me bie ean, ' fa ers TY let you p!’ Nor did I blame, her cne atom. Know, Vours, nt Apart, then, from hearing “The Merry z Widow" six hundred tlmes a day. there re are other manners which obtaio ip veat| Ollice Ray Up to Date, fire-escape circle HE afler Otio had got leave One is the manner of calling gil heads al 0 ee to attend the second out of tha kitohen windows, without ap- funeral in his family since th parently #0 doing. Calling each other by | beginning of the baseball season he name {s evidently forbidden, but to slam nd nis work unusually irksome. a. wash boller with violence upon the fire. | Finally ceasing to fight agalnet ¢ escape 13 permitted by all first familles, | Trina drowsiness, he slept. In th It also cally out every known style of Midst of a record-breaking home run by manager's votce: hairdressing, Then follows a composite favorita batsman he heard the conversauion {tn numerous dialects, and I know tn @ trice what's for dinner, whose froning is done and who ts going to leave whan (he wook is up. Oh, you who live tn the front part “What! Asleep again? (Bareastic. | ally) I trust you had pleasant dreame,”’ | "Oh, you alr.’ stammered Otto. bard- | ly awake, | The manager, noting that the rest of | of your apartments, do you know what! in, office force were higely enjoying a fearful joy may be snatched by | Oito's discomfort, continued mockingly throwing water on the unsuspecting! “May I inquire sf you were dreaming head of your neighbor beneath you?| of your recent bereavement?” No? Then 1s your habit of seeking) Otto looked slightly lderea, then’ recreation cold and refined compared | §ll at jonce realizing that he wag the fire-eacapes of a summer ever boss to raise iny Salary If you light a bunch of giant fire The “Crass Widow. crackers and drop them from the top fire escape, their downward effect is | y fine, Also to beat a toy drum on, ‘O woman need object to be called | ‘a fire-esoape to amuse the children on & “grass widow" on the plea th Sunday afternoons where the over- it tg disrespectiul erm Is ame over! trom the French “grace.” It ls an old trained are trying to caich @ few winks and honored expression, and means of sleop is reverberant and cheery, widow by courte s ed aaa) =~ J ‘ ° By Nixola Greeley-Smith. The Husband) With the Soul of a Mouse, FE have all met the Hustand That Has the Souk W of @ Mouse, and that soul in his wife's name li tg the foshlon to pity rather than to con- demn him But {f there 1s one person more to be commiserated than ® henpecked man if is the wife to whoee henpecking he submits \ No. 11, Meekness ig at al! times the most offensive of the virtues. The meek woman 1's dreadful’ enoug! but the meek map ts # crime against nature How- ever, to be henpecked does not constitute the only offense of the Husband Who Has the Soul of a Mouse Many a man who comes into the presence of his wife lke a lamb to the slaughter goes ont {nto the world Iike a lion seeking whom he may devour. But in the especial case we are considering, the husband {s not dulled by his wife alone. but by all mankind whose soula are not fellow rodents with his own. He 1s the reverse type of the husband who thinks It essential to be a blustering bully im order to prove himeel’ 9 man, and believes that to remain a gentleman may sometimes mean to be a coward The bully’s wife is ashamed to go out with him because of the liking fear of a row that shadows all these excursions, Sometimes the discussion {fs with a car conductor over a transfer, again with a theatre usher over the loca- tion of seats, st!l] agaln with a walter over the dinner cheok, Detalls may differ, but the row is always sure. NOW JOHN, BE SURE You DRY THEM NiceLy | een # But the Husband W il of Bui it ts not only tn this peace-a‘« Mouse bas no fight in j whe Ebisbamt may crowd past ‘is wite Into a cu 6 Soul of yuse betrays li « and may oxle he 9 the alsle | shortcomings. Witrin the categor without affecting nis eezene doctrine of inclided the man who marvles Non-reststance, for her money and. the When 1 was a ” being achte retires to spend walked home from creature who lets his wie a boy of ten whose vowed ambittot ra for his vine and her was to “grow up aud be a minister, As we came down the church steps a ¢ man who ets hi fe row with * husky playmate, with whom he had, the janitor. who says him fm for some reason a fod, Unceremon-/ not in!? when the milkman calls with lously cuffed | he would-be min and thea hides while she bears Ister uever ¢ veda of MMs red unt of the live tra Van's ips head, Bu wother Helen firing ng, Is also a good specimen ather ‘re J upon him the e Man With the Soul of a neces: ment and retaliation , CRRA ORR TT Kr eel RAN HAY) he argued, spirit, But if after subjec - with. undist It dldn't ) such an ordeal, she becomes hurt.” his weakness and takes ad ot | and browbeut ‘This Loy grew He married, and one else + six months after the ceremony bis wife ; away with the corchman. Remem the 8 this Incident of his boyhood, : the lure may almost divine her ex Broa iway Mythology | By Ann Evans, No. RierA\ Latter Day Orpheus and od to find—his divorced wifes, and Eurvdice. inner moved from e Necks to champagne and ¢ musician Hades, Firydtee, wita of Orpheus, died and went t the realms of Pluto. owed to sack her Als musta an condition of not He oked @ Greek near-30 der of a Hungar- atra in A ‘schloss am Rhein” cafe roadway polsed an sweyed to an Ita lan Intermezzo, The clatter of a knife in ANN EVANS e hands of an indieereet diner punctu- at o44 intervals Father of Gods, paused to listen to the speaking iyre of ated’ the melody Once Jupiter, had Orpheus. Now Juptter, the head waiter, hurried forward to draw out the chairs t the reserved table nearest the mu- s' balcony the expensively lressed gontieman and his pertervid blond companto P @ multi-n 20) nalre steal maz sburg) Th r remu, and under it @ ourl behind E t was “na ed “over to eadquart < ear, not know. ay. lar figu he blew @ girl to was sure to mean) 14 was too much. With a shriek Or. ato for the yuse he honored pheus leaned over, too, and bashed his and a fatter tin for the waiter who suc: fival fair on the shining tonsure with ‘i s { his bes ie exsfully eneineerel ft ‘A roar, a tumult and a rush. and O; g seomed too good for this dam- pheus found himself clear and away ters scurrie ections, MeCarrentzed via the revolving doors, Waiters scurried in all directions, | MeCarreniaan wit ine, i expe: er" he eus beamed curtousiy over the bel- sighed as he rose. “All tthentities yout Phe lady was the one he sought! ts mage!” weeoew ae