The evening world. Newspaper, March 26, 1906, Page 12

| ters for her #hould be a Berry, Byening. ‘World, Post-Office A New York. ge " —=——— By Roy L. McCardell. - N and after this date the Animal Department will not at 10 be open every other day if we feel like it. per se, we might have kept it open every other day if we felt like it. yet But when an Animal Department gets fishy !t Is | time to put up the shutters. Pt We saw the beginning of the end when our corre- Bi] cpondents sent us in anecdotes about eggs and vege- tables; in one case combining the two by asking us to assist in securing capital to aid the growth of an egg- plant. Eggs and vegetables are often thrown in the company of actors, but our animal friends and our friends who are animals objected. We close the Animal Department because we feel like it, proud of the fact that it superbly served its purpose, although we cannot say what its purpose was, It was time to close it, anyway; it was becoming infested with poets. Editor Animal Devariment: We have @ sioth at our house. He is the biggest sloth I ever met. He v cunning. He is also very sensitive, and for some reason or ther cets very angry if anybody sings or whistles ‘Everybody Works but po i ie . iam the daughter of a man named Tude, so I sign myself LASS 0° TUDE. EUS Antnal Denarmmoent: Was Danfel led by being Itenized? BIFF WILBERFORCE. Fai Angual I Wor pretend to he so afraid of rodents. Yet what do they wear ler their I smell a rat! FOXY GUY. Mary Ag: bo Mary had a litle lamb- Siin jacket. They were much togeth 1 nen asked if It had been a ram Sie could not teil ewe wether. A. R. R., Staten Island. And Again. . Editor Animal Departments » had a little goat. She joked with it, she did; And niade up funny storfes— Why? “Just for a kid!” C. R. JANSEN, Woodstde, L. I. Dear Fultorial Animal. (Species not mentioned, out of show of respect.) As a representative of the lowest order of two-legged animals, 1 beg you to establish a Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Playwrights. I Have been bullied by siaga managers, hounded by critics and cat- walled by audfemces until I rise—feebly and just before the count ‘‘Ten”— eto inquire if playwrights have any rights which superior human beings @re bound to respect” Yours ably, SUREFIRE HOKUM,. Author of “Who Hit Hogan?” “Why Working Women Work,” “The Skinflint,” &c. Dear Animalculus: Could it have remained an Animal Department, | The Kvening Woritd’s ANIMAL DEPARTMENT, ITHE ‘J OLLY’ Gl RLS—THE VY Win! By George McManus ,, OUR 1 Would you call the appended pome “doggerel” or “‘monkey-shine” verse? : Willie had a purple ape, Ciimbing on a yellow tape. Willie made the monkey bite us, Now wo haye ape-pendicitis? WILLIE HOLCOMB. UNGRATEFUL CHILDREN. By Nixola Greeley-Smith. N old lady hes written me a very pathetic letter of mose than a dozen pages which, summarized, re- solves Itself into the single inquiry: What is the matter with the present generation? She has a daughter twenty-four years old who will not obey her, ‘Things were not thus in the olden days, How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is to have a thank- less, &e.! Thore are just as many tragedies of this kind as there are old men and old women. Qulte as often a wail reaches me from the younger generation, from sons or daughters who feel that the fine impulses and possibil!- ties of youth are being sapped by the fretful exactions of selfish parents, and whether we sympathize with par- ents or ohildren depends altogether on which we happen to be, There 1s a mental and moral gulf between each gen- eration of humanity that only the tenderest love, the Widest sympathy can bridge, Ordinarily, the people who know us least are those that brought us Into the world, and the most persistent mask we are forced to wear is that which walts for us inside the door of our own homes, Could the ordinary daughter expect from the ordinary mother anything save hand-me-down wisdom and ready-made platitudes if, In @ moment of yearning for sympwthy and enlightenment, she carried to her any of the besetting prob- Jems of youth? Tennyson wrote the anewer to that question in his vision of * © “Narrowed to her petty part, ‘With a Uttle hoami of maxims preaching down a daughter's heart.” Whait youth demands of le 1s Truth. What age clamors for is Comfort; and Truth and Comfort can seldom dwell - together without one of them being sacrificed to the other. Ordinastly, { 1s Truth that goes under, we as children recognizing we are ‘the fresher and more plastic clay, and yielding readily for that reason. ‘This i@ scarcely the diatribe on ungrateful children that I know my old Iady ‘expected. There are viciously ungrateful children, of course. There are ungrate- fal parents. Both, fortunately, are rare. It seems to be taken for granted that we should be grateful to our parents for bringing us into the world—chiefly as we have to assume centain self-evident, Sut unprovable things in geometry, in order to work out the other theorems, ‘Ths gift of lite, however, seems at some time or other but questlonably precious. And the only thing we have ‘to be really thankful for to our parents ‘or any one else ts the wonderful great gift of love. BETTY’S BALM FOR LOVERS couple of vears, and if you still love her marry her. She Has Better Chances. Dear Betty: Reet oe corneas Owing to a family qu , which Is She Too Old for Him? i Ge right for me to ary it my mother’s wishes? old and love a Waa entirely his own’ fault, he heft and We RO heated ald you IANOR, | and scOme raAagazine, Monaay rvening, tiarciha 26, 1906. HEY IVE ME A TRANSFER! t OFF THE CAR! WE'LL TAKE PAINS TO TELL THE SUPERINTENDENT THAT HE HAS ONE GENTLEMAN, ON THE ROAD hed ILL REPORT YOU TOMY FRIEND, BELMONT! TRANSFERS, LADIES! HEAVENS! AN INSPECTOR! GiT BACK DERE! YOU GIT YER “DONY Ki TRANSFER WHEN YOU PAY YER FARE ORS You DONT; NOW YOU CONDUCTORS HAY! TO PUT UPAwITH. ESPECIALLY FROM THOSE CRANKY OLD LETTING YOUR LADY FRIENDS RIDE FREE EH 7 YOULL GET LAID OFF FOR THIS CONDUCTOR JIT WAS 50 COURTEOU OF YOU 10 HELP THAT OLD LADY i THE LOG OF NORA'S ARK (Copyright by Walt McDougall.) Devised and Illustrated By Walt PicDougall NO. 19-THE APE DOES PENANCE FOR BEING A BEAUTY SPECIALIST ) * © * This Log Was Kept by Noah’s Third Son, JAPHET, and Ie Here Turned Into Versified Vernacular by ALBERT PAYSON TERHUNE, * #2 Maroh 26, 248 B. C. T ines the Ape from far Siam (The one that had that scrap with Ham) Attempted, in a merry cuper, To saw the nose off of the Tapir, AM a young. lady twenty-one yeare Remorking. f HEALTH AND BEAUTY. By Margaret Hubbard Ayer. | Melve sublimate, 10 grains, | ene i scalp ¢wice a day, For Red Eyelids. J 8. B.—For red eyelids try this: . Falling Hair. Hy M. D, Misa A. S The followin lotion is a tonic f impoverished sca when the hatr | falling to any ex tent. Rub it wel into the scalp # return | directed. away from childre yey and ignorant person: always hav: you | every bottle in you hat the Tapir’s face Would gain thereby in style and grace, To punish him Pa made him sow Tough hickory till his palms were raw. The Zoo, of course, were all on hand And joshed the Ape to beat the band, Until he slung his saw away And said. “We'll call these 'ere a day.” When Father ventured to object The Ape retorts: “You lack respect When you try monkeying with me; "Cause I’m your ancestor, you sce. My college chum, Bill Darwin's, proved I'm your yreat-granddad once removed.” That notion kind of threw a jar Into the think tank of poor Pa. Says he: “Henceforth when people try To trace their uncestry so high, Let them reflect that if they go Back far enough they'll find they owe Their Family Tree's primeval shape To one grand forefather—the Apel" (For further details see Wednesday's Bvening World, this page.) Keop | closet dis. J) Borate of soda, 2 grains; camphor water, 1 ounce. Mix and saturate {4 email plece and lay over the eyes, |For Skin Eruption. A.—For skin eruption, met a bottle of hydrozone and bathe the af- fected parts with it as directed in @ accompanying Instructions which sapotas gor You will alwaye Bnd with eagh bottle. Curry Lentils. Use on the butter, one but not mashed, NE-HALF ounce "y NE-HALI pound split lentils, three medium-sized onions, three ounces | tablespoonful powder and a little salt. tile over night, alice the onions thinly and fry them with the curry in the butter untl they are a nice brown; add the lentils, cover the pan closdly and cook gently until the lenuls are soft Sveve on a hot dis! if the lentils seems too dry, a litte Block or water may be required, Sweet Milk Scones. pound flour, sugar, teaspoonful made, cream tartar, one-half teagpoonful angularly in shape laa at HINTS FOR THE HOME. baking soda, one gl! mfk, one ounce butter, one-half teaspoonful sat. Rub the butter Hghtly into the flour, curry! add the suger, cream of tartar. soda, ‘Steep the len- «alt and mix well. dough with the milk, roll out and cut Into eight ptoz utes. into the oven, Mix all into a light turn onto floured board, work ightly until smooth, . Lay the scones on a greased baling tir bake in a very quick oven for ten min- ‘Yo glaze the scones, brush then with a itttle egg before putting them a ‘These are good breakfast substitutes one-half | for hot roll nd are easily and quickly ‘The original soone was cut tri- Im and Ou SOF the Theatres MIS Is the gnent day on which the, BtuddMord. Miss T *pectacular Sarah challenges the|in the garret tome free “The bivus clreus and dofies the ayndioate by) Princess,” “Candida” fe one-of the playa making ber first appearance dn a tent.| jn which stock company will | Although the event occurs in Dallas, ee GARG pers uh ‘Nex w York preas agent ts ready : | bring it home to ua with authentic! $4) TTS. the Boy Detective,” ts a Pholographs of the tent, and the wires bn Met Ohta imnkd Gl hey will be kept humming with detailed re- Mall atthidrrsllanarelle Na | ports of tho exolthg eitalr, Ite a chell.| Titer of Mr. Earry Champton Schwabr —Bernhardt and Camille risk-|, 1 & New York second-hand book shop hetr health in the night air. Sarah|*W men who bed been looking over en [odd volume of olf plays got into a ing ing ought to be uble to cough witoout half| trying to-nigtit, But on @econd thought, | Warm @reument as to the relative mer- this arrangement is right in line with|!® of old and new dramas. One cham~ the new treatment for tuberculosis, Let Poned Congreve, Addison, Sheridan, us hope, therefore, that all will be for) Goldsmith and MolMere and the other thm best. Information at hand neglecta| Pinned his fatth to David Belasco, a to state whether there will be “a grand street parade" preceding the perform- | ance. a 2 © HTS tent inefdent has been worth I Acres of advertlsing to the know- ing Seenh and her resourceful managers. It beats all the Quopec {t turns Anna Held’s © a cold shower ond mates the tanbark that was lald in Fifth avenue for the sake of Mrs. Campbell's nerves seem Uke so much sawdyst. A tent's 1 tent, and, what's more, this one seats 5.000 persons, Not only that, but the press agent Is authority for the state- ment that ‘the necessity for a great artist to appear in this fashion has wakened the pres of Texas to much indignation.” What more could be asked? ole la B way of Lenten setf-dental Mr. Mansfield will give up the week's vacation he had adverilsed and keop right on working at the New Amaterdam Theatre, He will stay for a fourth week and rattle off this reper- Monday, April 9, “The Scarlet Tuesday, “A Parisian Ro- Wednesday, "The Merchant o: Thursdey. “Beau Brummel;' Friday. “King Richard TIL?’ Saturdey matinee, ‘The Merchant of Ventioo;'' Saturday night he will give an ect from each of these five playa: “Ivan the Terrthie,” “Rean Brummel." “King Richard TIL," “The Soariet Letter’ and “Dr, Jekyll and Mr. Hyte."* oe F, PROCTOR will celebrate his twenty-fifth year as a manager * next month with an “anniver- sary jubilee” at his Broadway theatre, the Fitth Avenue. The weelc of April 9 will be devoted to bijls changed dally. It will be made doubly attractive by the introduction of several recent cap- tures, including Henri de Vries, Mme Yvette Gullbert, Fred Welton, Miss Mabel Tallaferro and Miss Grace Van gs in} bath | W. Pinero, Maeterlinck end Henry Ar- thur Jones. Tho argument went on until it be- came furlous. At last the man who held that the old dramatists were the Detter quoted something from John Addison. The other Insisted that the quotation was not correct. “How ate you going to prove tt?” asked the man who had quoted the Ines, “The bookseller says he hasn't @ copy of Addison's plays, or at least he can't find oni “Pardon me," interrupted a studious- looking man with iron gray hair and clean-cut features, attired with almost clerical severity. think I can give you that quotation. It ‘6 in the first scene of the first act of ‘Cato,’ and runs thus: “The dawn ds overcast, the morning lowers, And heavily in clouds brings on the day, ‘The Great, th’ important day, tig with the fate Of Cato and of Roma” Having delivered these lines with the muatcal swing of one used to declaim- ing blank verse, the studious-looking gentleman bowed and went out. As he disappeared the keeper of the store got his hands on the copy of Addison's works for which he had been search- ing, and hastily the two disputants ver- {fied the correctness of the lines as spoken by the etranger. “Welt, by jingo!”" “that man is a wonder, he asked the storekeeper. “David Belasco," was the reply, CHARLES DARNTON, exclatmed one; ‘Who ts her” A Queer Organization, NEWLY formed soctal organtzation in London, the New Bohemians, an- fl pounces itself a8 @ society “mainly devoted to the encouragement of intel- ligent conversation among journalists, Dookmen, critics, artists and others, University —men,"" advertisement adds, “are not necessarily disqualified.” (UTPAT ts ute without s0- ctety?” sald ‘The Girl from Kan- saa, “Phat query ts borrowed from Sather Knapp, who has achieved the one desire of her life to come to New York. Esther mar ried Frederick Nicholson, who 1s a real broker. “To hear Hsther knock New York ts something terrible. She doesn't see how one exists here at | all without aociety. Back home she wag a leader—that's what she was, and It's simply ealline not to «et half a hance here in New York . “When one !8 the belle of society and has perfectly lovely narty eoyns it's no wonder a little chagrin and disappoint- inent creeps into fe, Esther doesn't sea why people live in New York. She sim- ply can't understand what New York The Girl from Kansas, By Alice Rohe. but it takes refinement and poise to be @ society belle, Esther ts so discontent- ed she's almost sorry she married Frederick. She's just crazy to go back home or to St. Joe, where she has entree to the select social set. | “Esther 1s trying to get some conso- lation out of life, however, She has a four-room apartment wp tn Harlem. and now he’s showing the neighbors a thing or two. “When Esther was home keep house for father. and if the el rang she'd run to the door with her hands fresh from the dishpan, Now sho has a butler and a cook anda maid. i guess she’s captured them for their society, Anyway she thinks {t's dead swell, Esther says tt's terribly vulgar not to hrve a butler open the door, and sho's already baving 80 muoh trouble about servants you'd think she had a mansion, Instead of a four-room apart- ment in Harlem. “She has developed a terrible set of soctety nerves, and has to go away for her health. That's because she's got the cab habit, and doesn't cet hor old- women do when there ts no society for them, Of course, she understands that everybody can’t belong to the Jour Hundred, but what ‘s there tn life for ut out from the social patres: and amusements? Anybody can go to the theatre, those wh whirl? Pshaw! time exercise, Esther ts the real thing in assuming New York airs, I don't know what's going to happen to Fred- It's a case of anything for peace, Funny what. swell society miles away from ore idens home!"* elops DAINTY blouse that 1s prettily trimmed with lace other banding fills 80 many needs that it may fairly be considered a necessity. ‘This one 19 made of Persian lawn with trimming of Ger- man Valenciennes lace, ind i# unilned, ‘The model {s an adaptable one, howeve and would pe effective fn any of the thin, soft ellks or light-weleht wools that (re made in Ingerle + style, as well as wash- Able materials, while in addition to the Ly are t many other Be ane linen fabrics that will be found avail- able. When sil or wool is used the lining, which te made soft, in blouse style, will be found de- sirable. ‘fhe German Valenciennes lace 1s oge of the most fusnionable ell ag the most dur- as W Ala of all. trimuuihay Sut there are a kreat Other bandin i f lace avery, sort, 0 { On, fashionable this season, ashore there 1s every y for the ex i rtunlty’ FOr dividual ‘ds 4 yan 5 yards of inser: UR tern No. 5,81 i iy “a 'TON FASHION BUREAU, ‘These ms} waya specify size wanted, Gall or send by mail to THE EVEMGNG WORLD MAY MAN- ork, Send tea cents in coin or stamps for each IMPORTANT—Write your name and eddrem piaimty, and as} May Manton’s Daily Fashions Blouse or Shirt Walst—Pattern No, 6314, New ordered, No, i Weat Twenty-third sR lS I a AA i ct ha | | } : 1