The evening world. Newspaper, January 6, 1906, Page 9

“The Eventad | Roy L. McCardell’s 3 : ““CHORVS GIRL’’ why Mr. a | Maginnis, of Marictta, wasn’t appointed Police Commis- sioner,” said the Chorus Girl. “He isn't hep to any- thing, lives far away from New York and has al- ‘ways been anti-Tammany, And yet ‘they handed him the lemon on his offer to take the job. Say, wouldn't ‘fhe made the fine Commish—him with that When-the-Robins-Nest- ‘Again bunch on his face? “I haven't the contempt for Mr. Maginnis that Puss Montgomery has, -bnt then she’s married to him and Tam not. “The day coach is his idea of luxury of travel, and a square meal for a quarter is his way of living high. I tell you if 1 was Puss Mont- “ gomery, and woke up to find myself wedded to such a hard, tight wad I'd demend a recount. “Maybe he'll be cured of financial astringency, but I don’t know, kid. He pretends he had a yin for Broad- Way and that brought him back, and incidentally he wanted to see if his wife had married again. But Mr. ~ Maginnis always tries to combine a well-paying proposition with pleas- ure, and, as a matter of fact, he came on to New York to see if he could be appointsd Police Commissioner, oo DON'T eee “World's ‘ oo joke) jefe) but when they asked him if he knew where Police Headquarters was he said ‘Yes,’ and that put him wrong. as “On his other visits to New York _ he always took the Millionaires’ room at the Mills Hotel, but now, as he has a wife in New York who has sure , he doesn’t see why he should ‘be at the expense of 30 cents a night simply to pound the feathers; so he’s staying with us. “I forgot to tell you that he has in} Committee to purchase apparatus for the Murletta Street-Cleaning Depart- ment. “Say, kid, Mr. Maginnis {s aces as generous impulses restrained, but he doesn’t care what a thing costs so long a8 somebody else pays for it. “He's a Hiram like this: He'll come on to New York and moan that he's a Missourian, but if you're wise to it that he won't audit the yellow dog, and if you give him the bix nix come on also as a Citizens’ Economy = Chicago Tribune Man: “As to the Panama Canal," observed the exchange editor, “I've an ocean’’— “T sea,” Interrupted the literary editor. “Water you talking about?’ queried the, poetry editor, But they told him, in torrid language, nS krem out.of this muss—it wasn’t his Then the sua went behind a cloud, end the wind moaned drearily. o 8 e Samson had met the lon and torn Its Jaws asunder as if It had been a kid. Iustrated Phrase, “a “welcome” that will soon wear out. on the Seeing-New-York gug he'll “ a atttttetteciatettetetete te o , -HAVE A LAUGH WITH THE FUNNY MEN. | “Now, he said. “we'll see if Jerome can do that to the tiger!” Smiling with the proud consctousne! that there wasn't axother young man Israel Who could hold a candle to him, he Went to meet the future Mrs,.Sam- | son. x Philadelphia Press Man: — * Miss Chumley—I tear you found the/ Got c! housework too much for you. servant now, haven't you? Mrs. Newbride—Yes, and it's rather a | drain on our purse. nicely when there were only two of us, but now that we have four to feed— Mise Chumley—Four? Why, there's only Georg? and yourself and the ser- vant girl Mre. Newbride—And the policeman. ee e “But,” protested the crooked capital- ist, “you were so positive that you |: could get our bill through the Legialu- ture,"* “I know I was,” growled the lobbyist, GRRE T couldn’ touch the members at ee insisted that they ail had their or! “Exactly, and they all beld out for it rot if and wouldn't consider mine.’ Houston Post Man: “Dox't vou think her husbind is nat- wraily a gentle, patient man?” “Sometimes T think he is and som times I think ehe's got him scared. se 8 *T wonder what Old toa when he(is a! same, Mgociety—hle Rounter's reflec- mia oa when ‘he Mead “and his fa in nose, We got along! go home and tell it to the neighbors { i | | that you're so slow it’s no wonder you don't get along in the great city. “And if you do take him around lke Sweeny, just to fill up the con- versation while you pay the freight, and show him all that's fine and PAPA’S GIRL WATCH. ME SKATE ON THE NEW ROLLER ” "THE SELF-SUPPORTING GIRL. By Nixola Greeley-Smith. ‘+ Dear Miss Greeley-Smith: + AM nineteen years old, and, as my: ‘ I his falling health, I am compelled ‘ toll me what a girl with a common for a satisfactory salary. At one time I small amount, considering what ts expected $4.50 a week, but that is a very of me now. I can do housework very “gladly tae it. fathér Jost his position on account of to help support our family. Please “school education could do or ts doing did plain sewing for a dresemaker at well. Would you advise me to go out to service at $14 a month, having my; board reo and sending my money home? If I could get a position in New York at $6 a week or more I would ANNA, Lyndhurst, N. J. ai BODY js doing anythiig for a satisfactory salary,.my dear young lady, No salary ciple that adjusts it work, Sowing is very cept life-insurance presidents. is ever satiafactory since the basic prin- 1a that of getting the most you oan do for the least you can lye on. But some work women can do is better paid than other herd and very badly pad. But $4.00 a week in New Jersey ia a great deal more than % In New York. You could just barely exist on the latter sum here, and it would bo impossible for you to sent a cont home, I would not advise you to become a-servant unless you must make money ji equipment would fit You write a very mmisdiately, . good hand and spell correctly. This you tor clerical positions only. at which you’ would make trom $3 to 8! a week. But if you have time to study stenography ahd typewriting you would have @ chance to make very much tart at $6 or $7, but there would be a chance of making $5 or ‘t you developed into a first-class stenographer. In a clorical re when you became com~ wuld ehd with about the same-salary you began no matter what bac) to for utter Occupations appeal to Hing for you to to look remain in your home, if you can possibly do so, and ob- you could not possibly gmake more than enough to keep York while doing clerical work or learning dresemaking or mil- you more. do, it seems aca-csly necessary to say, if you must ‘through the advertising columns of the New: York papers and iverkisementa that call for any. wore IO BART ane BEAUTY HINTS. By Margaret HubbardAyer Honey Balm. whole. Sneralesriangs geld: t 900. parts by water and, Inst of fumes, x A Gure for Pi J. W.—Deo ‘not « id. f ‘cure the eruption, ‘ores, whieh ti ‘tion: Son, 6 is ery Water make 200-parts; ofl of bitter almo; oll of rose just énough to perfume the 5 Yintment of water, 8 parts: rose: jint-| nent of sweet almond, 6 part aiycerine, 6 parti; boric acid, & parte; solution of soda (U Hoat the olls and the solution of soda together, stirring gonstantly until an ‘Dhen warm my the ; to and find aboit| Sf omul- up reclpe ‘|ds He Married ? Say! Mr. Maginnis Rides a Real Water Wagon, and Louie Zinsheimer sah and Abie Wogglebaum Take a Mean Advantage of the Fact. flossy, he. canters back with wild|poor Puss Montgomery's hopes ahead erles that your try-out gallops are |are the widow's dower. tho pace that kills, Can you beat ‘em, them conservative citizens of|tempted to be a plutocrat’s protege; quicker thar they and the fat-feet. | than to marry in haste where the| squad do the other visitors to the} innis wouldn’t give two|heart is willing but the hand won’t| city that are put on the job—but just town-hall-to-night towns? “Mr, cents to see an earthquake, and all “That's why a young girl's more come open. At an Early Age She Learns the Perils of Going on a Skate. Home Magazine, Saturday Evening, January 6, “Mr. Maginnis Drives Up on a Sample Sprinkling Cart He's Buying for the D. 8. C. of Marietta, O., and Thinks He's Doing Us Proud.’—The Chorus Girl. “I wish he'd got appointed Police Commissioner—not that the Lid Club would have made him the goat any} to see what pictorial wheezes would [oje) 1906 “aT thumb—whenever he's invited. carries himself like a hick on night—ready to eat when he sleep where he falls and drink when- ever he’s asked. “I told you he'd come on (ee) if she didn’t annoy him money, and to purchase ‘apps for the Marietta D. S. ©. Its no bunk, and I'll tell you why, . “He'd dropped down town the other day early, and we had hopes he was lost, and we were going to see elther the ‘Gingerbread Man’ or ‘The Babes and the Baron’—and it’s a case of child’s play for them both, when, just as we were beating it to meringue toward the matinee, Mr. Magirnis drives up with a sprinkling cart fresh from the factory and gives us a yodel to look it over, saying: ‘When this reaches Marietta, per fast freight, it will be a gala day on the mighty Muskegum!’ “I thought poor Dopey would ewallow his cigarette in his excil ment—not that it would worry for he can smoke them after they're swallered without a trace of heatt- burn, and Abie Wogglebaum and Loule Zinsheimer went out «and congratulated Mr. Maginnis for se- lecting the most popular vehicle’ of this season of the year, “And what do you think, kid? Ever since that, when Abie and Louie take us out to dinner, it’s nix on the bul WLW Je Grr ip ive) Sts have been made about that facial moss he wears when so many bar- bers are out of work. Hasn't Mr. Maginnis the mean disposition? “But, say, kid, he thinks he’s a Sport. He's brought on a box of Furrier’s Delights, which he burns to a slow smoulder, because his motto is ‘Waste Not, Want Not,’ and they retail at two for flve—and ‘he'll irrigate if asked. “Sure, he takes a Skelly—that’s a roundsman’s drink of two fingers, THE WIFE-MARKET BOOM By Albert Payson Terhune UT of the tall grass, | Out of the woods, Comes the lone howl: “Deliver the goods! Send me a wife! For (if so I may term tt) I'm sore on the whisker-girt 79 TOR ene he Role of a hermit!” 1@ One. te eee, He Deep Bilis Oe histieet Dips saiiea IRs Everywhere, everywhere, Ri air. ° Seisy Hark to the flutter! | St Humor nop bess Wentenek eee sekane Feminine murmurs " From palace to gutter: “If you're as anxious As you profess Here's where you win out! What's your address?" Good old Hank Connel! Answers come winging! But woe to you! woe to you If you are “stringing! Safer an ocean Where sharks are a-swimmin’ Than nvisy Torpedo With a million mad women! Streak for tall timber If you've been joking, Nor at the buzs-saw Of Mi fe be poking! But if “cu mean business You've but to confirm it, To cut out forever Your title of hermit! ble water! “They say: ‘We couldn't think of cracking a quart, because—tut, ‘tut, Wwe have a guest! he’s on the water wagon!’ “Then they drench their digestion with ice water and hand out the hya- terical ha, ha, to us, while they bow to Mr, Maginnis. “Say, kid, a joke 1s @ joke, but Able and Louie should remember there's ladies present! “Huh?” The Evening World Primer. By Rob Thompson, Uncle Joch, (W. Henry Connel, a hermit of Karan ERE ts’ Pa,,.writes to The World for a wife.—News prety Pie item.) ture of Un- cle Joel. It is experienced in E. woulda Hrbasly laugh Heartity at tile Moe Hi This doctor concocted a pill Which once cured a man who was fil. But the poo Fell ove When the dooto BETTY’S BALM FOR LOVERS. ea iat perplexed Breye & ati can e writing Batty. ‘or her should be a ‘ Dear Betty; Mave, that is married. I was to Rave met fast Wednesday evening, i Dut avoided him for reason, eyed him rumor | b sherge thle ‘the frat. sof $6 pera him or Se him, -being way, do not know if he eve: tongs’ to back, although he often gays he . M. I think he will come back. It will do no harm to write fo him. Wait for him as long as you feel like It. Dear Botty: a youl ‘1 and have been keep- ba % pobre with a youn er. ae ee think tint? Boy n Monte bate ret Sees "i, ne © eeu St : uM o'el @nd a0: net ie! so inter? a Sr p man shoukd ccceider your the matter, I fear he ts @een't love you. Your mother I think, unnecessarily S| ri Paes «- WOMEN And we all know Uncle Joel is “atanding on his Insteps, biting Holes in tho At- mosphere. At the ‘aurly ——— A Fatal Cure, HOME HINTS. Doughnuts, NE egg, one cup of eugar, one cup of sour milk, saltepoon of cassia and salt, one even teaspoon of soda mixed in the sour milk, large pinch of baking powder in the flour, just’ use flour enough to knead as soft as can be rolled out. Fry in hot lard. Lemon Cake. EAT to)a cream one cup of butter, three cups of sugar, then add the beaten yolks of four eggs, and gradually add one cup of sweet milk in which o half teaspoon of soda lemon and flour enough to make ff batter. Lastly, add the whites of four eggs ten ght, Bake in mod- erate oven one hour. Crisp Orange Chips. UT three pounds of sugar over the fire with a gill and a halt of water and a fifth of @ teaspoonful of ream tartar. Mix over the fire and ook, scraping down the sides occa- until it barely reaches the hani crack when tested in water. ‘Turn it out on a buttered marble slab and as 1 cools add a few drops of oll of orange. Fold togther until’ this is worked in and then out the lump in two, Color one-half of it orange color and pull the other half until it is white, ‘Work it out into a flat mess on a warm slab and flatten out the orange-cotored part. Lay the white part on the clear orange-colored part, wrap one around the other, white outside, and fatten out again with a heavy buttered iron it neconsary to handle it, Pull out into a ; Teave, til cold, and bevale May Manton’s Dail Misses’ Skirt—P attern No. 5,250. Pattern 5,250 is cut in sizes for misses of 12, 14 and 16 years of age, ‘all or send by ma. ) ‘Hew to Obtain ork, Bend Patterns } ways specity size wanted, to THE EV TON FASHION BUREAU, No, 2 Wi “1 cents in coin or stamps for each pattern ordered, IMPORTANT—Write your name and eddrems piainiy, VERY variation. of | the full skirt is to be noted this sea- son, and all indications Potnt to continued Popularity for an in. definite time to come. Tn the illustration ig shown one that 1§ de- signed for young girie and that sults them to | @ nicety. As shown, it is made of plaid stiten- . ed with sik and trim. | med with banding’ of velvet ribbon, but it will be found desirable both for the materials of Immediate wear ana - for those of the come ing warm Weather, The tucks are are ranged in groups, and | Where they fall tree of } the stitehings provide MA ebundant and graceful | fulness, while the lines are the best posalble for girlish figures, The quantliy of mae terial required for ‘the ) medium sige (14 years) fs 51-7 yards 2, 3 yards 4 or 23-4 yards inches wide, ING WORLD MAY M it Twenty-third aireet, end Op