The evening world. Newspaper, January 5, 1905, Page 14

‘Pubnenea by the Press Publishing Company, Entered at the Post-Ofice at New FOLUME 48...... he Ma feet eeeeeenes ition of “Every Hie Own Prees ,” maidthe Cigar Store “that there is a. whole Of talk about new excise dpstelation,”” lve Mr; Jerome the credit,” ad- the’ Man Higher Up, ‘He is est preas agent for himself that happened. In a short time he’ in Albany w!. an excise his overcoat pocket, and he ‘the’ fact! thac: advance pud- will ‘give him a big boost before u Last year he had to Jone hand, and his bill was all over the Capitol. In 1905 ets to pull somethihg off with perance sentiment: behind ih Ne n Higher U ++.- By Martin Green.... ‘|@. grocery. business or a dry-goody No, 63 to 68 Park Row, New York, York as Second-Clasy Mall Matter, NO. 16,843 p. forcing the Raines law so far as con- corns Sunday relling, In consequence every Raines law dive in town was running full blast from the beginning to the end of every Sabbath day, while hundreds of saloon-keepers who run their business as they would business were compelled to turn thelr jcustomers away. In those days Sun- day enforcement of the Raines law prevailed east of Third avenue and west of Ninth in this borough, and the result of it was shown in the votes, “A great majority of the people of this city is in davor of Sunday open- tions,’ Absolute Sunday closing is an impossibility, New York is too big for it, A thiret is no respecter of days.” “Would the reformers stand for a bill allowing saloons to open a ‘stated number of hours on Sunday?” asked the Cigar Store Man. “Not to any noticeable extent,” re- folse question is’ what makes ie. administrations in | this Raines law cannot be én- Mtably. | It. ts designed to} ) ruggeeller 0 eto the’ ox. law hotel. feature is a rankc| lutely the wale of liquor on that day ‘worthy or the er mind that framed it up. ste at the Capital. By Nixola Greeley-Smith. BA. * baby i ~% ge : 3 cee fs a £ EOE eg: g = g g z i * ; fhipea ER? gle ; & ie é g EE | aE i j eee ie re Bs g sit EE g f i dor’ formal declaration . of) war Pessim they're beyond hope how,” said tho Possimist, ail’ killed off, I hrough snowdriftc the Hid’ winds ‘playing a around my rub- and I saw if aight that mad- / Here I was with boots to ‘Dbndled up lke an Arctic hivering along against ‘the what do you suppose a on in {rohit of me?” Well, really, I couldn't aay," said the Philosopher, poltt 1 screamed the Pessimist, “she fon low-cut whoes with heels like @nd—COBWEB SILK stockings!” Ought to be lawa enforced to soy use Common sense when make them use what they | ot," sald the Pessimist, sourly, ought to all be put in a pro- Bo Precocious. Low made a biuff at en-|the v8 the renk Of &/would follow, and before a year was if Cabliet Alla | over we would be supplied with Preal- ¢or's ehY'd over |densial candidates enough to last us or below that of |for the next twenty-five years, ii He ze i #73 HI plied the Man Higher Up. “When your average reformer encounters a stone ‘wall of’ conditions he hypno- Uke Bimeelf into the balicf that it Is 4n obstacle of fog, The very people ho are tryihg to add to the holiness the fiabbath by prohibiting abso- know’ very well that the passage of auch a law would make half the male resldents of New York violators of Yaw every Sunday.” ning of saloons under proper regula-|. YEE cay ae MO eT RE? el, prigt Dare eae A DISCOURAGER OF TRAFFIC. trait of A, W. Winter—the Wlater of your discontent. is president of the Brooklyn Rupid Transit Company. The World is trying to wake him up. lic, ducing the car mileage on his roads. | World took an unhesitating hand in persuading each of these gen f tlemen to retire, arailroad. Such things are done in other cities. Brdoklyn? Remember that ‘all the cars in Brooklyn do not run over the bridge. Remember tha z lo wonder the great minds of official are working overtime, No brows of our great men Over tho eHuation, It chatter of old-time of Washington, Hamilton or even of Daniel Web- ry Clay. They were no: Proplems such as those, the simpler questions of a » Of building a Btate, or a Is honest dollar behind them, and then remember that an outraged people can revolt, and tha when they do it is not well to be in the way. > es HF AIS \LL SHOW THAT STUPID FELLOW HOW To SKATE system of finance, perhaps. any ore of these otherwise es- lo’ wtatesmen ‘have been able to athifactorily with the question of Ambassador's baby and the Cabinet 's child? Certainly not, _Xet the minds at Washington must Wrestle with it—since they have nothing lee to do—whilo the country waits breathlessly for the result, to enter a room—even a dining room—| i so comer in iia they came into that Th Atnerion the sous" en eAie ee once was that yielded to But the tenants of that exploded theory must are Hg) i We ena that a ore bay would Have to yiad the at tof way to an older Dereon of no erefore, let the minds ot Intlensday wateonses wee Patleiy. ‘ is Problem of precedence to be solv ist’s Growl] | By Alice Rohe, |be such death oourters even if thelr matural tendencies are toward making fools ‘of themselves,” “Why do they do it?” asked the| ¢ Philosopher. “Why? Why, because ¢ phi Js attractive, and a pitted ill at Nee everything for her own distorted sense of beauty, As the winds were playing around that young woman's ankles, it made me shudder for her health, You know what those open-work cobweh stocking effects aro, Bhe might | ¢ Just as well have been barefooted, “Well, pride was about all she had On,” sold the Pessimist, coughing, "I followed her into a drug store, where I supposed sho was wolng to order @ stimulant, but she took a glass Nae cae #oda—cold, And when she irew her cot boo" walae nada ot Ince isacni eee ‘Before I' could get myself unwound om nd mufflers and overcoat she had ee dale when I saw her face I nearly hy." asked the Phil uy her? losopher, “dtd AR Pius His. Dedatani, ‘i my sister-in-law!" mist. “It was Veet Fee from rul Bie her health,” “Think 80," snarl the Pe - tireen Fiv06806, Anstaw iil manolet bed “Ig your sister-dn-law ill?" ‘ag palit ‘asked the SH Ee 0 Pes “ couldn't iN her, with an axene “zou “You have a terrible i Philosopher, soothingly, tr #ald the "Yes," replied the Pessimist; “T must Ret a heavier overcoat and some ture Mned arctics, I guess | caught cold chosing around after my sister-in-law and her cobweb stockings," “Dhese health-defying {diocles don't feem to Kill the women,” sald the Dhi- HOROB ESE fi “Well, vou see, that woma: y alotor-ini-law,” sald the Possiiniete (iy don't know about the rest, Anyway, I way that the city ought to take tha matter Up and prevent women. trom ys ing these horrible examples to the Bat, atter all” “But, after all,” continued - Longe rplastantly, “there's doe ome one wilt tollow 0 foolrkelliers custom sa t UD & Kame of ee jteotory during cold weather and locked | 2 jp, 4 “Why, I cam't see why they should x - | cellent prowess, and the market readily E banged, battered and abused Brooklynites! This is a por. He It hopes to arouse in him some sort of a consciousness of his duty to the Brooklyn pub. He came from Minneapolis with a reputation for executive skill which has found expression in removing switchmen and re- Beside him Clinton L. Rossiter, the amateur president, was a genius and the eminent Greatsinger positively magnificent. The It does not wish Mr. Winter to go lest a worse one come in his stead, but it wants him to do better, to really learn how to run Why not in the travellers in the dull hours are as badly served as those who come in the rush, Remem. ber that the road is paying enormous dividends to its real owners, the 10 per cent. guar. anteed stockholders of the Brooklyn City Railroad. Remember that you are torturing people in an effort to squeeze dividends out of them on millions of watered stock without an Willie Wise # ’Gene Carr’s Brainy Kid w w! He Knows Too Much About Skating, as His Exposition of the Gliding Art Shows,3 of town, The Own-Your-Own-Home'’ microbe had bitten them with mos- quito-like assiduity; they enecred at} _| commuter jokes; they suhseribed to the Amateur Farmer, and committed to memory that sterling publication's artl- cles on "How to Clear $6,000 a Year on & Half-Acre Farm with No Capital and Lesa Experience,” and its editorials be- ginning “Throw over your piker $60,000 ‘Wall street job and make a RAL for- tun@ out of the rich brown earth!" “It will be fine to live nearto Nature's heart!" sighed Mr, McIntyre, “Just think of the joys of golng ont to the orchard and digging up a tomato or a spinach every time one ig hungry, or of dining on new-mown eggs and keep- Ing @ bee eo we can ralse honey for T's McIntyres wanted to move out the market!"" Only one obstacle intervened—the lease, For the Molntyre flat was in a select neighborhood, and hard-and-faat Teases were required of all tenants, The McIntyre lease would not ex: vire for six months,,and they feared lest, by that time, they would no longer care for rural iife, Honce the jeawe must be broken, But e|how? The McIntyres, were morbidly donest folk and didn't like the ea of cheating even, @ landlord. 80 they could not think of’ moving out and let- ting tie owner bring eult. At length an Idea (with @ capital I) dawned on Mr, Melntvre, “We won't break our lease," he dhor- tled, ‘Weill mace the landlord turn ve out!" : Now a coterie of very pleasant, very bright and altogether delightful people wero wont ¢o gather at the McIntyre flat Sunday evenings for song, story and an ensuing Welsh rabbit. The MolIn- tyres lured this coterle into their plot, ‘The next Sunday evening the neigh- bers for two blocks around were amazed and scandalized to hear the most un- conventione! and horrible noises issuing from the erstwhile decorous McIntyre fas, To parepnraee Byien Ux aere were sounds of ribaldry by night,” and a case of “Whoop! Set ’em up! Let joy be. unrefined!” To judge from the t t E eERE E gg ttk all p ¢ra, 2 is the beautiful Batan ape, of New Guinea, which once was eo plen- tiful in the forests there that travellers ‘told how almost every tree bore its load of handsome monkeys, ‘The beauty of the Satan ape was ite doom, Its wonderful shining fur, com- posed of immensely long ailken hair, | became popular for furs about twelve © | yeara ago, and at once fur hunters pene- 4 GUESS THIS WILL STING HIM “Well, you ought to be able to pre. | % < Letters from the People < & welght and herden my body at the same men acknowledged stands on aide stree time, 1 casnot afford to attend a iad only, JOHN WHITE, naslum where 1 would have to pay. New Job for Health Board. do not drink, chew or smoke, Koop |. 90 100 | is regular hours, and am fond of all out- he Editor of The Evening World; door sports, HAPLEMITE, Vor Fifth Avenue Traffic, To the Wiitor of The Evening World: While vehicular traffic conditions have |haye heen somewhat improved on Fifth avenue,| somo ice cream, i there are two simple reforms that would “Farmers, Please Write,” relieve the congestion: Strict, impartial Where Living Is Cheap, chickens, a pig, @ cow, a pony, a boat and a gun in time, and from nelghboring Sroves I was welcome to all the oranges T could eat, My little garden gave me vegetables, All this at a cost of $100 for three years, my own easy labors doing the rest and glying me occupation and enjoyment, The average Florida crack- er never sees much more than #100 In the course of a year, REJUVENATED, Try a Y. M. C. A. Gymnasium, To the Baltor of The Evening World: 1 am a young man eigiesn years of age, weigh 115 pounds, and am 5 feet 2 took all 1 carried to town, K bought inches dn belght, J would flke to put on fo the Editor of The Evening World; Student asks what is the cheapest place in the United States to live? Somo years ago, being; in poor health, I went to Florida to a small hamlet in Orange County, I had $300 and was or- dered to stay three years. I rented a small cottage for $4 per “onth, cut my fuel in the woods, caught all the fish I could eat and sold enough to the near- est market to rent a gun and buy am- unition, Quali, turkeys and an occa- sional deer came under my none too ex- ‘to the inspection of milk, but T think has overlooked one duty—the Inapecti the Editor of ‘The Eventng World: the right with all slow moving vehicles) | ia the woight of the largest and ‘and remove all empty cabs, plying for Pie On atehed 1400 Ihe. heard of ‘ive, trom jie avenue Give the oab-'trug Our Health Department has been very careful in performing Its duty in regard of Iee-crewn flavors. | as well aa frionds made very ill from eat W. J, G, t! enforcement of “rule of road” (keep to) ‘Will agricultural readers tell me what Bearisgt B it Jano! aly e's | trated the wild home of the monkeys to 2 |supply the markets of Europe, says the % | Commercial Tribune, >| In 1892 the Government figures ahowed | that 175,000 ekins had been shipped in thet one year, Within two years so many monkeys had been killed that only | 67,000 skins were exported in 18%, In % |many places the forests are absolutely ® | lifeless now, and it ts caloulated that On the. B, (t t# lots of fun to ride O ON THE B. R. T.! If o'er in Brooklyn you abide, ON THE B, R, T.! ‘They all know what Bill Shakespeare meant By “Winter of our discontent,” ‘The man who gets your last red cent! ON THD B, R, T.! The Fulton street “L’ {8 a joy OF THE B. R. T.! ‘The atock cars with microbe alloy ON THH B. R, T! You may cling sadly to a strap Put More Water in the Milk! Copyrot, 1905, by the Planet Pub, Co, ts Then there will be FEWER MILK it COW PUNCHER. n 1 will DISSOLVE better! This rule should apply to MILK! By Albert Payson Terhune, They Make a Str uous Effort to Fra at once, empha breaking beer bo! heads. (A box of broken glass will} duce grand sound effects.) A couple revolver shots, a bequtifully rene mixed-ale fight on the stairs and @ liceman (bribed for the occasion by Intyre) banging on the outer door ang shouting, “In the name of the law rounded out the evening's en| ment, f "I think this gives ua our hed the MeIntyres, last guest nolally "Hol tor @ country lifel” } Next moming eight tenantg got ter’s cramp from’ inditing to the landlord; two more moved © and a third went to court for @, - mons, Even the janitor looked 4 other way when the Mointyres pemed.) || ‘That evening the landlord called, Mos Intyre received him with mock humil> ity and contrition, ... a ‘We've been deluged with kicke about / you people ¢o-day,"’ began the landlom, sternly, “and it's my painful duty te tell you the other tenants aay they'll move !f you don't get out.” yf ‘I-Lm sorry!" begen Mrs, Molntyra, onoked voice, mh) t'mention it!" shouted the "I told ‘em, one and all, eat 8a idick out every tenant in the howe nooner than lose. you people. You just stay right on where you are and pay n@ attention to the complaints, I wouldn', © tum you MolIntyres out for worldel Good juck, old man, Hope you'll stay ‘on here forever!" “We've wrecked our reputation fow quiet and refinement!" sobbed Mrs, Mo= Tn} exported annually from Argentina alone, while Venezuela sende out $90,000 worth each year, It has been estimated that in the worst years of plume-hunts | ing in Florida the annual slaughter of these grand birds amounted to 1,500,000 fn a year, ; The beautiful humming biM fa ame | other victim of the feather-bunter, and it tg only @ question of time before this finy oreature will cease to dassle the traveller even in the deepest forest, for there 1s no place where it can escape fthe hunter, In London alone the week~ ly sales of the ruby and emerald sicing | Gt gftie Wonderful bird amount up te B.R. T. And etand upon somebody's lap, While guards !n Volapuk will yap ON THD B, RT It's great where trains are run guess, LIKD THD B, R, Ti Where weird “express trains” don't express ON THH B, R, 7! Strap-hangers kick, but all in ‘vatny ‘They might as well endure thelr pam, For all things go—except the traine ON THE B, R, 7! WALTER 1A, SINCLAIR, We notice that the Board of Health. giving DESERVED ATTENTION to the MILK QUESTION, 1 WE DEMAND PURE MILK! There Is but ONE CERTAIN way to insure PURITY, Put MORE WATER into the milk ! PUNCHES ! The COWBOY should be made to understand that it is enough ta bea He has NO BUSINESS to be a MILK PUNCHER as well | Again we say; PUT MORE WATER IN THE MILK! Then the CHALK. Use only PURE water. To the pure, ALL things are pure! ‘The ‘‘Fudge’’ Idiotorial " |