The evening world. Newspaper, June 8, 1904, Page 14

_ eee eee tee OB ia ea al all ~% THE » EVENING » WORLD'S 2 HOME » MAGAZINE Park Row, New York. Entered at the Fost-Oftice at New York as Second-Class Mai] Matter. Published by the Press Wublishing Company, No, 53 to @ VOLUME 44. NO. 18,6_2. | A NEW WAY TO GET RICH. cheap man has been supplemented by Secretary Shaw and amplified to include a similar result trom cheap *.“The Republican party insi he told the Roose- velt-Workingmen’s Club of Wilmington, “that it is un- important what price we pay for food and clothes so ‘Tong as we pay the price to ourselves. May the good | Lord deliver us from another period when living ex- penses are cheap!” According to this theory the “general consumer” ought at present to be enjoying a state of unexampled | prosperity. For fifty-six out of seventy articles ol clothing he is paying from 3-10 of 1 per cent. to 20 per cent. more than the average price of those articles for ten years past. For thirty-five out of fifty-three articles of food he is charged from *4 of 1 per cent. to 72 per cent. more than the average for the same period. Hé pays 23 per cent. more for corm meal, 42 per cent miore for bacon and salt pork and 51 per cent. more for herring. Oil last winter was 100 per cent. above the average, and coal from 27 to 34 per cent. Secretary Shaw says that “high igher prices for cattle and corn mean more lumber for farm buildings, more barbed wire for fences, more and better clothes for a happier family, more and better furniture for the home, better carpets, better carriages and more and better im- plements of agriculture and therefore a better market for the wage earner.” That is, ihe retailer will pass some part of his larger *Hrofit back to the jobber, the jobber to the wholesaler, the wholesaler to the manufacturer, and from him the bountiful stream will trickle on to the original "Producer, while some drops of it filter down to the consumer as higher wages. It is an alluring theory of *¥ood timss all around and plenty and prosperity. for giveryboc One interesting example of how it does not work § furnished by the current prices for meat. Within a tw, days wholesale prices have been advanced a cent 1 pourd above the previous high level. That is at the tate of $8 a carcass, in which there lie large possibilities of “betterdlothes for happier families” on the ranches inu any amount of new “barbed wire for fences.” But, according to Secretary Martin of the National Live Stock Association, hoof cattle now bring only $5.50 per hundred pounds as against $6.50 two years igo. Within this period of general advance for dressed deef there has been an accompanying decline for live zattle, as a result of which the stockmen have lost 750,000,000. . So it seems that the packers, while taking that extra toll from the consumer, have neglected to pass a share back to the stockman, and the “happiness” of the ranch- man’s, family remains a beautiful protectionist cream of the same unsubstantial nature as that which derives wealth for the consumer from the higher cost of everything he consumes. THE RECREATION PIERS. “And Satan came also.” Two clerical visitors have éound him at work on New York recreation piers. where most other visitors were looking only for fresh air, ‘mhusic and an evening's relaxation. One is sorry for this sorrow of the priests. It Is regrettable that with a public enterprise productive of ‘widest good results even a modicum of evil can mingle itself. if the whole-hearted wish of the whole people could Ue realized, good would be everywhere and always un- mixed with bad. When that stage is reached In earthly Affairs, however, there wil! be no need of special philanthropic undertakings. At present, the recreation piers are needed because there is trouble in the city—the trouble of stifling tenements, oven-like tenement streets, neighborhoods {nfested by the atmosphere of factory and workshop. By the test of seasons, the piers have proved themselves aelpful against this complex trouble, They*have as- Meted in lowering the city death#ate while giving meidental hours of clean delight to many thousands of the city's lowller workers, It would be rather a pity—-would it not?—to assume a tone of genera! denunciation over an enterprise of pre- dominant beneficence because of a discovery of lurking evils which are not shown to be past correction. CASES THAT EXCITE SUSPICION. he important thing about the abduction of Fanny Feinstein, the young Brooklyn girl, as the result of whose charges two women are under arrest and a man & fugitive, is that it is one of similar cases which have fecently been too prominent a feature of the news. | An isolated wrong of this character might occur tn spite of the strictest preventive measures. But the oc- turrence of several almost coincidently, including that of Katie Gartinkel, is accompanied by disagreeable sug- ‘gestions of a return to old conditions of vice which it ‘was hoped had been stamped ont forever. If, as these cases give reason for suspicion, there yel Ainger any traces of the infamous cadet system a vigor- pus and thorough effort should be made by the polico (or its immediate extermination, root and branch. OUTDOOR FOOD STANDS. The Health Commissioner has joined Commissioner @Moodbury in his endeavor to correct the long-established food on the sidewalk or on outdoor stands. It is a Ysountry village practice which has little warrant of ox- dstence there and none in the city where the flying dust ‘deposits disease germs. Every dealer who volunterily joes away with it finds his reward in a better patronage. Notwithstanding the efiiciency of its Street-Cleaning ent New York fs not a clean city, The amount dust in suspension in the atmosphere is always large. ibtless 99 per cent. of it is harmless. Yet In the 1 Is boneliness to Be Preferred :B may superiority over a fat man, due to the ‘practice of grocers and provision dealers of exposing! to Fat?!:" —— BY ixola Greeley-Smith. A at Ellis [aboot yesterday ome ross the seas to wed amin who had wo r uo. bered him as A} romantic — ale And ne turned up . a sober, sotld n of beer-nar transformacon eloquent en treaty, she remained in her Ge mination and returned to the emt tn pen, while her disconsolase| lover Wont back to his home. All honor to the young woman. Aud she have many imitators, ‘Thert 1 for the fat man and no ex aso cuse for him. Unaceountable as It | seem, the fat woman ts not without her admirers, Tut there iy not a wo man alive who Ww mon| unless some overshadow elle ice of mind or temper lured her into tem-| porary forgetfulness of his fat 2 It is bad enough as the years nd-| vance to see the slender hero of ene's} day dreams take on the all-too-solld flesh and the settled jog-trot walk of middie age. But to start with him that} way is out of the question | “1 would rather a man would ty lean to the Inst degree of attenuation | than the least inta too corputent," sald an ambitious young woman of Bos‘o: the other day, and her sisters, from] @ Armenia to Maine, will echo the aen-| ¢ tment. 12 The {deal masculine figure should! « combine agility and strength, and a ‘at! % man has neither. Ind the only superiority that he) pas over the man of average propor-| % tlons is that It is caster for him to be funny, .And no woman wants a ‘unay hushand To be sure, she doesn't want one sl- together devoid of a sense of hunor. But @ sense of humor and a moderace- sized waist-band are not altogether in- naistent possessions. And if ono has hoowe between the two an aesthetic! @ © would favor the waist measure-| ¢ ment every time. 4 When one nees o fat mnn ora fat woman in the street and realizes that there are probably people in the world who regard them with feelings of :0- mantic tenderness, one ts lost In won der at the blindness of human atiach- mente A fat woman has @ certain surface| @ {act that feminine attire lends ttsel better to the concealment of surp! adipose. There are no methods of arti- flelal distribution such aa the corset permits open to the man who welghs ton much and {x not proud of tt. When he is fat everybody seew Just how fat he ist To be sure, this does not aru ally bother him much, for he Is apt to take his fat philosophically, as he| 4 does everything else, o The chief thing to recommend h'm| ts that he is amiable, for he really] { verifies the popular tradition concer ing fatness and amfabiiity far m than the fat woman, who Is givan to] « frequent fits of vociferous gayety, ty be! ¢ eure, but dn her reactions from her | ¢ ebulllent moods {s generally suoject| & to more or less serious tantrums. S. However, the too-amlable man, “ke \ the too-amtable woman, is a person to he avoided matrimonially, for his gay moods are usually apent upon his casual acquaintance and the reactions from them given vent to at home, So that, even on the score of emla-| bility, the fat man does not ne By sarily triumph, nor discredit the } ment of the fair Armenian matd, ——<———__ SOME OF THE BEST JOKES OF THE DAY. PLACE FOR A PLOT, “Most of the action in my story." ex- yt) Pennibs, ‘takes place in a ceme- ery. “Well,"" rejoined Criticus, “that's # good place for a plot.”—Chicago News. PROUD OF HIS TITLE. “What makes Brown so haughty these days?" “Why, his secret benevolent associa. ton has olected him to an office that has a title seven feet longer than any title there is in Smith's secret society.” —Chicago Evening Post. ICE, In the spring the good wife's fancy Turns to thoughts about the price That she'll have to pay this eummer To the combine folks for ice. Cleveland Leader, HIS REAL OBJECT. “I understand that Lord Fucash has jasked for your daughter's hand.” | "Yes." answered Mr. Cumrox. “That's jwhat he has asked for, But I guess what he wants is my pocketboo!.’'— Washington Star A LUCKY “EX,” “They ray he's quite wealthy.” “Yes, and at one time he was very poor Indeed. He certainiy has nad a checkered career."* vaul¥all, a checkered career doosa't hurt vou "s only exchequered at ie Philadelphia Press. RUENES AY TOR: COULD GIVE POINTS. | “1 see you are wearing my old engage- cent. of contagious residue there rests enough danger to make all reasonable precaution ing to be demanded from dealers for their|engased to Jack?’ _protection no less than for thelr own ia ment ring.’ “Yes; isn't {t perfectly lovely to be "Yes, indeed! Hy so deliciously se- about it, isn i he?''—Detrote Free The b9246902440804006 aby’s Squall Will Be Music to the Ear THE INFANT SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA D PLAYING ! E 2 GoTTERDAM- WHY PAY FoR PHONOGRAPHS! % “No mother should be weak enough to allow her baby to scream off key. She should carry a tuning fork, and when the child is about to 2 begin a prolonged howl give him the proper note.”—Mrs. Amelia Weed H. Fair Sex Will Not Flock to This New Field. ¥ re Women Passengers Needed in Police Autos to Catch Missile-Throwing East Side Hoodlums. THAT BEATS SCHOOL THAT WUD BE BETTER THAN COOKIN, THIS HOT WEATHER! Ys i, UII Wh ipti ty YY, Up yyy tbh BY by HH TE STRAIGHT- FRONT DONNING HER ARMOR- TEACHING! “WONDER DO DEM LADIES KNOW WOT DEY 1S GOIN PKOF. PINCH-IO AND HIS Y TESTING THE Voice THE ACTRESS ;— NO JUST THINK OF THE PRESS NOTICES! MUSICAL WONDER My yp CHE ‘ SOS »»} _— One AFEW Wome, N, NO PARTICUL A WITH GARD Fo R RE- uP AGin!” Oor LEEDLE CHERMAN KID BANDT, jolbrook to the Professional Woman's League. - Ray ad 3 of ee 52 ®LO®DOROOLEDE® $98604OO8OO9O80-0FO9O9ODOMOLEP DIOL OOLOED DOD ODODOOOOD eae aie’ a It May Lull You to Sleep, If Prore ly Attuned, Instead of Keeping You Awcke. / MW yt COME RIGHT IN, LADIES - ITS A CINCH Jos! very popular with the fair sex. o0to ector Schmittberger’s wife, who accompanied her husband In an auto hunt for stone-throwing hoodimus last Sunday, Is the e > B! ¥ =" The Bookmakers’ Vocabu- — lary Makes Billingsgate an Also Ran- SEK,” said The Cigar Store Man, “that some fe | wise person pushed a ict of phony cush on the hookmakers at Gravesend.” | “Yes,” replied The Man Higher Up, “and there was a roar in the hetting rinz that could be heard to Montreal. Hand # bookmaker a little the worst of it and you can’t tell his screams of agony from the fog whistle at Sandy Hook, I haven't heard anybody spout | sympathy for tho bookmakers who got stung with the painted monoy, and the reason why is all due to the bookmakers themselves. “The comfortable citizen who never goes into a bet- ting ring and doesn't care any more about horse racing than he does about the latest style of gondolas on the | Venetian canals would be knocked stiff with astonish- ‘ment at the treatment the bookmakers hand their \patrons. They have got the art of nasty profanity j;down to a system Ike the works of a watch, and the way they how! oaths and abuse at the poor suckers who make it possible for them to ride in benzine buggies and buy diamonds would create wholesale slaughter any- where else but on a race track. “Some of them are gentlemen in conversation and de- meanor at all stages, but the most of them—and the successful ones—howl at their patrons in a way that a dog catcher would be ashamed to use on an unlicensed gutter hound. Their favorite method of accosting @ » |small bettor who wanders up, shows his badge that has cost him two plunks and solicits the privilege of betting a $5 note, is to apply a lot of stable-boy names to him and wind uy with: “Get down to the free field with your small money.’ “They don't confine their abuse to the pikers, either. Big bettors get it just the same, and men who would jump in and attempt murder at a slurring remark about tue fit of thelr clothes will allow a bookmaker to make monkeys of them in front of hundreds of people and smile jn a sickly way about it.” “Why do the bettors stand it?” asked The Cigar Store Man. “If a bettor should slug an insulting bookmaker,” ex- plained The Man Higher Up, “the would be jumped on and kicked into resemblance of a mess of tripe by a gany ® | of hired burlies and the Racing Association would close the gates on him so he couldn't bet any more.” The Gook, IDIOTORIAL PAGE oF THE EVENING FUDGE What Is the use Cd of a HUMAN, LUNG? Commis- + sloner Woodbury, Is WORRIED be- cause his street.» cleaners INSIST! 299O3DDH 9S O64 What Are You Doing with That Lung Major _Woodbury’s Humane ffort to Check the DUST GRABBERS. (Copyree, 1904, by the Planet Pus. Ca) 9999990 ON SWEEPING | DUST INTO THEIR LUNGS. ‘ The EVENING FUDGE, always ready to advise the , municipal government, flies quickly to Major Weodbury’s + relief with the ensuing SCINTILLATING SOLUTION of | the trouble. ; a HENCEFORTH LET NO MAN WITH LUNGS BE: EMPLOYED AS A STREET-CLEANER! Then the dust ; CANNOT be so foolishly wasted. Let each applicant for: the position of strect-cleaner be THOROUGHLY | SEARCHED. Ifa LUNG Is found in his pockets or hidden i between the soles of his shoes LET IT BE CONFISCATED , andthe man DISCHARGED. Thus NO street-cleaner + can swallow a WHOLE LUNGFUL of valuable dust on! the sly. : The EVENING FUDGE will buy these confiscated | lungs at reduced rates and use them in {ts HOT-AIR-BM- » PORIUM, and the COMMON PEOPLE of Manhattan will! henceforth get ALL the dust they pay for.y THE DUST GRAFT MUST GO! + 1 " 1 i \, DDDOHDDHLD HO609H9-9090900-00- 9095999999 H ‘*Ways That Are Dark.” An ingenious trick waa played recently by a gang of buy glars in Sheffield, England. About 7 o'clock at night news was received by telephone at the fire station that a large timber yard In the suburbs was on fire. The message pur ported to be from the owner, who added that there was not much flame, but plenty of smoke. The brigade immediately turned out, but on reaching the scene of the alloged outbreak found it had been hoaxed. The wires were at once put into operation, and it was found the message had come from a silverware manufactory almost opposite the fire station. ‘The oftcers on gaining an entry found that thieves had ran- sacked the place. Large quantities of silver goods had been packed ready for removal, and the burglars doubtless hoped. to escape during the excitement caused by the brigade turn- ing out. They had, however, been alarmed and fied empty» handed before the arrival of the police. All in One Line. 99999O0O900d F$OFSO9OESSHOOS HHH89GH0H00S9O99G-H9 Can you draw this figure without Ufting your pencil from the paper, without ‘going over the same line twice, and with= out allowing any line to cross another? OLLOEEDLGHSDEODOH