The evening world. Newspaper, April 13, 1904, Page 14

w THE w EVENING # WORLD'S #2 HOME # MAGAZINE. | | No. 88 to @ Park Row, New York. Entered at the Post-Omce | at New York as Second-Class Mall Matter. — | VOLUME 44.......06 ceseesreeeeeees NO. 15,876. | SCHOOLS AND A PUNCH IN THE HEAD. The American schoolboy will kindly rise i. his place. | Is it true, sir, that you are not being brought up to} punch another boy's head, or to stand up it your own is punched? This question is not intended as an incitement to aisor- derly conduct, or breach of the peace. It is put in the words of a conclusion reached by twenty-four out of ' twenty-six very good Englishmen, making up the ti Mosely Educational Commission, who recently visited the United States to find out what part our schools play | { an’ making us great among nations. | i A truly British conclusion this, which couples the| measure of a boy’s manly advance with his disposition | to punch heads, or not to punch them! "And it is all blamed on the abounding woman teacher of America. She is well enough in the primary school, ~ sbut in the high school she is responsible for the ‘coming over the men” of a “strange, indefinable, feminine air.” Delightful! P high schools and colleges have it is so ladylike a game. t But it will take another British commission to tell us} Now we know why football as our j ) why basketball as the girls’ schools have it is swelling f the hospital lists of casualties day by day. i * * (J * * s * To speak to the point, the British visitors have based an absurd assertion on a surface look at things. We who live among American schoolboys all the time, seeing them at best and worst, at peace and at “‘scrap,” are not disturbed by what the foreign wise men say. It has been hinted above that some refutation of the | Mosely men’s conclusion can be found in the country’s playgrounds. Did the honorable commissioners in their devotion to curriculums and things chance to over- look the athletic leagues which bind our American { high schools and grammar schools in close outdoor _ alliance? Which go further and furnish to our col- » leges, great and small, the blood, sinew and manly spirit that count on many fields—that have scored and will score again against “all England” teams? To take an individual instance, there is Metcalf, a po present star of Yale football and baseball, a player as|¥*" * aggressive as clever. Grammar school and high school athletics developed his talents. He was among the boy pupils of women teachers. ‘is case is typical of the selection constantly going on from inexhaustible native sources of manly strength and skill. Waterloo, according to Wellington, was won on the playgrounds of Eton. With the victories for which our own schoolboys have prepared and are preparing In robust fashion, America has had and shall have reason to be content. And yet, the woman teacher will stay. “ * # 8 @ « . ° i The gravely judging Britons have no censure for the head-punching. True, as they see him, the American student is “not as scholarly or as well read as the English student of the same age,” but, apparently through some miracu- lous endowment, “he has his knowledge in a better form to apply.” “The Br’ ish system turns out a man full of knowledge and principles, while the American product is a business man with a scientific training.” | This is encouraging. It shows that the visitors looked at our boys well on the books and business side. We shall now hope that if they come again they will arrange to contemplate a school “scrimmage” or two. ‘They are assured that not a little direct application of Scientific principles will be visible ‘o the naked British | eye upon the American athletic field. * * * * * * * * | We have had a fond idea, over here, that among the effects ot co-education and of the employment of tact- ful women teachers is the fixing upon American boys} of certain marked airs of courtesy and consideration. Can it have been this, to our eyes, becoming appear- | ance of sex deference which impressed our British | visitors as “a strange, indefinable feminine air?” | And which led them to believe that they could punch heads in this glad land without getting their own heads punched in return? Jefferson was born 161 years ago to-day, Simplicity, atter-| ward culled Jeffersonian, came earlier and died tut ite later. | ate banter, and munt pot seem 90 much in earaest that if a woman laug! at it she can be sure that she was the first to Imugh, and that ¢! on her. results of our educational systenmr beyond the line of |he wania nave un tnfinies a arave and tender, Inte: morous—-to sa: THE AUTOMOBILE—IT Lives! | An act of the Legislature has been officially Inter | preted as classifying the automobile among animals. | Overspeeding the horseless carriage Is therefore punish- | able as cruelty to animals and the Bergh society will| continue to get the fines. It was demonstrated early in the existence of the new road monster that it could manifest in exaggerated degrees the various vices of the sometimes patient but often uncertain horse. The auto can balk, side step, jump fences, bina | stagger and bolt with the most malicious or afflicted of | the equine race. In addition, it can literally burst its | boiler or produce most inauspiciously a wayside con- flagration. To have all these performances attributed | _ -&f last by official authority to possession by a real evil | | spirit 13 a matter for glad ‘acceptance by every well- | Regulated chauffeur. | To swear “Glittering Gloria!" at a mere aggregation | 4 mate machinery has been of little satisfaction ‘mobijist unduly halted, shattered or even scat- bd_on his way. To “take it out of” an apparatus _certified to as living and breathing—even with a i ee be different and infinitely more tae 0) bove and the Absent Girl eens) BY Greeley-Smith. Nixola YOUNG New York mar who believer Ms affections to br irrevecably centred on # fair maid whoee bermanent residence is in the Par Weat has applied to this column for advice as to how he In to preserve the young j] woman's Interest in Siimelf during a jong pend which must elapse before they meet again “How can I keep tier interested?” he aks. ‘She Is very attractive and is sure to have lote of other fellows around her. T am not very much on letter. writing. What shall T do?’ His pb jem Is one that has perplexed separated lovere the world over from the world's beginning. Usually, how ever, it {s considered the function of the feminine half of the conundrum to solve It, an the avernge man's recipe for keap- ing an absent girl interested is to keep her guessing It is refreshing, therefore, to encoun- tera young lover who doen not halleve that the duty of keeping the sacred flame alive during a period of separa- tion is not entirely up to the air, is the question he asks is t solution that one would rather tell him frankly A great deal that ona doesn't know, and atiil more frankly that if he ever chances upon the recipe elsewhere one would be very glad to g benefit of tt one's neif. Nevertheless there is one thing the inquiring young man will have to get aver at once-that is, hin distnate for letter-writing, For unless he possesses oF can acquire in some degree the art of projecting his personality across the dividing distance through a pen-and-ink medium he might as well give up at ‘onoe Moat women are sentimentalists, {deal- Jats, and to these the long-dintance thrill of @ genuine love-detter has quite as much charm and far more subtlety than that produced by an ectual meeting. The only advice that can be given the young man therefore, is to leam to write letters, and to write them whether he wants to or not. 8 4 rule men are not good’ letter- and the man from whom a girl ts most to receive a love-letter can seldom write the kind of letter she wants most to recelve. ‘This kind of letter does not necessarily make good litermture. Indeed, there is nothing less effective than the love- letter obviously striving for effect, and the very men of the Inckadalsioal, postic kind, who pride themselves upon the eovr-ready throb in thelr ink bottles and A wri! tho kisses thelr pen points convey, have probably never inspired a genuine feel- ing In their lives. ‘The right kind of love-letter must blend tender seriousness with affeotion- joke i» not If the New York ycung man were to joc his Wertern Dulcinea once a week of things ating and hu to her. If he can learn to write them Instead he need not worry about keeping her intereated—if she ts worth the keeping. ——————____ LETTERS, QUESTIONS, ANSWERS. Yes. To the Editor of The Hvening World A child ts born tn the United States of foreign parents (the parents not being naturalized), at the age of twenty-one is sald child a citizen? JoHOW. On the Side Nearent the Curb, To the Editor of The Evening World: Should @ fellow walk on the outalde or |in the centre when walking with two ladies? JW. B. Fits's Wetght, ‘TW the Bditor of The Evening World: A. bets that when Fitzsimmons and | Corbett fought at Carson City Fitaslm- mons welghed less that 186 pounds, B. | | | i} | | | | | | | | | bets that he welghed more than 165 pounds, Which wins?) B, L, T. H. Neither man “weighed in” officially. | Corbett welghed 1881-2 Fitz claimed to weigh 1i Yeu ‘To the BAltor of The ‘ening Worlt Was Barnum & Ba York City last season? J, B. KING. Where to Get Gas Meter Tested. ‘To the dttor of The Evening World: Where can get my gas meter tested an dwhat is the charge for same? F. RB. Jastrow Alexander, No, 1 Hanover Square, will have your meter tested on application. If the meter ts correct the fee ts 0 cents, If incorrect the test will coat you nothing. Plan to Check Fires. | To the Editor of The Evening World: I Hye in a house that has a store on the ground floor, with a metal cornice extending outward over the windows about two feet. This store caught fire cently. and this metal cornice saved sye building by aveping the flumes from Would tt not be a good {Tie woodwork. {dea to have a plece of metal extending across the house under every winduw to keep the flames away from the wood. work? AR. ‘Take It from Side of Spoon. Yo the Editor of ‘The Evening: Worid A says the proper way to take soup | is from the side of the spoon, B saya It is from the end, as the spoon was shaped for that purpose. Kindly de olde. R, T. WwW. Apply to Clyii-service Comm! No. 61 Kim Street. To the of The Evening World: aa ta civil eervice examination? aw | Iz BERADNOD90-6-4-5D949DODODOL2ADD94D DODGED DE DDEDIDIDO DD D BALBLGAIEDIDE DPALADIDGD4ODALAADDIDINDND2G9O95-4609% The Great and Only Mr. Peewee. Mr. Peewee takes Miss Neo Yer IS. DIS dVPsrasoasoaogaes > WITH My SUPERIOR Sixfoot to a Ball Game. ‘ weve Se BASEBAL. FOR, MINE, TOOT HIE! HIP HOORAY! SLUG IT IN THE SLATS! PASTE ir O FRADE-MAR' Co PPIDIDPIIOIIIIHS 392 FdT9TIIFTAODIESIZZdROSadDDODz0030000000 ro2090 > CS PHDIFIPIPI FDP PE Hoe To. PHOPPIALRGHHAADDG- THE THE EVENING FUD SS AG D. torial Was Written by Well Mahoney, No. 305 PRIZE PEEWEE HEADLINES for to-day, $1 pald for each. MR®. B. H. HEINTZE, No. 688 Quincy street, Brooklyn. . The Prize ‘‘Fudge’’ Idiotorial Gook, ‘‘Does the Earth Turn ’Round the Wrong Way?” Everybody Knows that in the far North the are SIX MONTHS IG. In consideration of the LABORING CLASSES In that re- glon, THIS PAPER can- not tolerate such a con- dition. This paper will see fo it that those days at the North Pole are REDUCED to the decent length cf EIGHT HOURS. Just imagine! Not only human beings, but also nature’s ELEMENTS, the Sun and Moon must needs } work overtime in that “Place of Perpetual Cold Air." H Such a thing would not be tolerated in this office. “The Place of Perpetual Hot Air.” The people at the North Pole KNOW what this paper has done for them. When the AURORA BORBALIS got ant of order, Mi] By Fadge JUDGE, herizen, AN EIGHT-HOUR DAY AT THE NORTH POLE. Comeret, 1006, by the Planet PeRCr, * 3 o 4 ao 3 é SP oer eorosoe who came to the RESCUE? shipped them a load of Fudges of RED which were artistically arranged along the ’ OUTDOING Dame Nature. a The man who rums the North Pole -had better take , ij beed of this, ' 3 $ 3 FHOOODDHAHOADGDD Street, Brooklyn. No. 1—ISABELLE DE VINE, No. 12 Bi dwell place, Buffalo, N. Y. No. 2— No. 3—L. V. WILSON, No. 1007 Watchung avenue, Plainfield, N. J. 3 3 rg r Mrs. Nagg and Mr. — By Roy L. McCardell. Illustrated byr GENE CARR. (Copyright, 194, by the Press Publishing Company, The New York World.) Cpe ee Does She Waste the Money? No! And Yet to Hear that Man You Would Think She Was Taking What Didn’t Belong to Her! Lets Him Have His Way in Everything! But Then, You Know, a Man Never Appreciates the Woman that “\ did not think you were small and mean enough to carry your money In your inside coat-pocket when | thought it was In your trousers.” By Martin Green. sia: S2 Five Tammany Men Are Rehearsing for Each Vacant Job. 66 J SEE.” said the Cigar-Store Man, “that Tammany I didn't bang out any flags when McAdoo ap- pointed this young Lindsley to be his Third Deputy Commissioner.” “The flag-hangers In Tammany,” replied The Man Higher Up, “are on strike. The patronage is being sifted through a ladder, and all that goes through is what Tammany don’t get. It is an awful scream to a hide-bound Tammany man to have the organization in power und not be able to do business, and the explo- ston is Hable to happen any minute after the State Con- vention in Albany next week. 5 “The Tammany job hunters have run up against the Civil-Service law. You can’t find a leader to-day that isn’t jumping on the civil-service proposition with both feet and leaning down and beating it with his hands, but it's there and the chances are that {t is going to stay. > “When the Van Wyck administration was tin-canned oft the track, aud the Low push got in, the professional politicians on the Republican and reform end tried ta pry our. a lot of piaces in the different departments for their people. Tammany had planted its bunch in so strong under the civil-service regulations that you couldn't see the patronage that went to the Platt ma- chine with a microscope. Probably one-third of all the city employees under the Low administration were Tammany men and they couldn't be blown out. They were sure of their jobs in the last campatgn, no matter who won, and it was hard work to get them to cough: up. “The heads of departments are working hard enaugh to make places for Tammany workers, with the posible exception of the Comptroller. In the other departments the clerks who have no Tammany pull are doing the only real work they ever did in their lives. They have to be Johnny-on-the-spot to the minute when the time comes to go on the works and not one of them makes a break for the door until the last whistle has blown in the afternoon. For every job that could be declared open there are five Tammany workers in rehearsal, "and the consequence {s that the city is getting more work out of its hired hands than ever before In its history.” “This scramble for patronage {s extremely undigni- fied,” commented the Cigar-Store Man. “4 “T may be wrong,” admitted The Man Higher “Up, “but I'll take a chance on saying that the leader Who tries to win an election on dignity is going to get: ex- tensively stung.” 4 GOSPLETS By the Passer=by. Play Baill T last the omens of the year, grown fair, in Rhyme, “A You know that the doctor says T must not get excited. OW dare you startle moe like {shoulders that I have on mine you/and save a penny here and a penny that? would not stand it as T do. there, “You know how my nerves are | ‘Don't stand grinning at me, My at-| “Do I smolre exponsive cigars? No. Utude fs not an apologetic one. T have|I do not, I know you pretend you havc rights. I will not be kept pinched and | stopped smoking, but think of all th Going through your pockets? The|starved that you may have money to |p ey you wasted on high-priced idea! How dare you accuse me of such | splurge over the country on sightseeing | cigars before you met me. & thing? Your keys had fallen on the | trips. ‘I work and work and work. If you floor, and T only picked them up while “I went along, you say? Knew how hard it was to make ser- PEO e One ae “That's right! Blame it on me! Say | vant attend to anything you would ap- belie’ heat ea nee . any cciinake for lit was my fault, You know I did not/preciate how T am il broken down. 00 eat and careful. You w let your keym le want to go. You dragged me awny! «1 can have all the money I want tes peu here it TNS Ne Aocne Gs be |atmpty to have some one to blame for} you say? T don't want your money. T : 8 cat, and then you wou ae Babiaed what ; blame me. all the money you spent, won't take your money. Give it to “Don't give me any of your black looks, Mr. Nagg! “Suppose I was in your pocke: 1a slave that 1 should b | touch my lord and master’ “We need not have spent so much? “all, do you think I am going to tm Se an immigrant? Would you want me to put up at cheap fire-trap me, and stop talking about It. “Only $20! What good will $20 do me? My spring dress will be here to- day and $90 worth of lace to make over that cheap old $6 shirt walst I have rs "Yes, I did need a litt ex, you would, Don't say you | worn till It fs a rag, the milkman, You don Jdn't! Anything is good enough for! ‘That's how Ido, I turn my dresses household expense never pald. You I can travel in a cattle car and {and things and I make them over, T would permit me to be bullied by trades. vile food in a cheap restaurant, |iry to be economical and not waste the 1} have no pride. but you must have the best going? I'd |money, And much you care for my ise T have pride and be- | like to see myself do it! | sacrifices. caure T to put up with your unjust suspicions. “It is not that I was doing anything underhand or Where can I learn certain particulars|are cruel and suspicious. You do not understand a sunny nature like mine. “If you had all the worry on your “If you had a wasteful and extrava- gant wife who never asked you for ‘money hut took what she wanted fror your cltohes when you were not look ing, then you would know what tt was to have a wife who would. die rathe than demean herself like that! “And just because I'm a little short running the house and take a little change, this is the way you act! “I had forty dollars yesterday? Well, suppose I had! How long do you think forty dollars will last? Everything 1s so dear that I have to pinch and scrape +t ave honesty T am compellea an like you do, You be Re “T hate a sneak! You put your clothe there and went out to shave merely & @ pretense. You put temptation in my way and then insult me by offering m noney because I did not think «you were small and mean enough to carr your money in your inaide coat pocket when T thought it was in your trousers. “That is the way men deceive their wives. Do not Sy to excuse yourself, You have a brutal and susplolous na- ture. “Lam ag particular about little things, T am kind and sweet-tempered, but, above all, Iam honest. “But what do you know about hon- esty? You are suspicious of every one. You are suspicious of my brother Wale. You are so selfish that you scowled ve- cause he ate all the strawberries and cream ‘He is weak and ngeds daintles. But you would sew that poor boy starve be- fore your eyes, and you would be glait of it, He is thinking of going to work in a year or two, and it has him so worried that you should pity him. But you don't pity any one. You don't pity me, Why don't you carry your clothes under your arm. Oh, that I should be considered dishonest! No, don't try to comfort me, Xeur cruelty has broken |; Fh dienaashall A The eve of long-awaited sport declare: The sapphire skies with rays of gold alight. The emerald sward with flashing Diamonds bright, ‘The moulting ow! of indoors winged away, i A coward to the bouncing bat of play; While over woods, and fields, and cote and hall A million hats rise to the c “Bean Baters,” “Dodgers,” “Phillies,” A lucky number! Open now the feast, And, to the spanking national colors true, Unfurl the lustre of the red, white, blue! And “Cleveland” at Chicago will be seen (Not “sano and safe’—'less Grover has grown lean); At the capital, Conny Mack's “Athletics: In Gotham, the “Champions,” rigid dietetics; Elsewhere will Kelly’s “Texas Trained Red Troopers” Meet Frank's “Chicago Cubs," to inspire the whoopera, Thus the two leagues, Joined in the national game, Challenge the patriot and bid for fame West and Fast, But stay! Shall we forget the little man, Who steals from urban hardship what he can, Purloins a Sunday hour and dons the glove To practise in a vacant lot for love? “pinched” by the cop or bidden to “move on,” By gilded, recreant ‘golfer’ frowned upon, Must he be parted from his healthy toy And slink to hidden crime, the City Boy? Awake ye heathen-Christian Powers that be! Grant Sunday, ball to wistful poverty. Four Posers for Puzzlers. The Window Puzzie. Here ts a window, 8 feet high, 9 feet! wide, and square, It ts desired to blocky up half this’ window, and yet leave a; window that shall still be 3 feet high, 3) feet wide, and square. ! How Did He Do It? Some children are certainty ol than their parents. There is the atory,i for example, of the small boy who carried to hii father! three square toy bricks, on each of which was & printed’ figure. (They were used in the nursery to teach the little ones how to count.) These were the three wi boy set before his father: ne vane OM . sald he, “can you arrange thoss three, make the whole number they will form! by seven? I've done it” And so fe had. can you? Was It a Tragedy ? nade “Now, father,” bricks so as to exactly divisible ‘The question 1s, Does this document make Jones gullty of a erin? certainly looks like it at first sight; but when ‘Shes’ father, had stndied \t for some time he burst out’ lau so there must be a catch in it somewherm” : ae Only One Letter PRSVRYPRFCTMNVRKPT! By inserting at the proper place tm of letters ‘one other letter a perfect » 16 What is the letter? isitenge New Form of ‘* Loop-the=Loop A new form of looping the oop ts promised the Paris. lang. A French engineer says he will make a métof car run down @ slope to a chasm in the track, at the end’e¢ ‘which it will mount a and turn’ a coming. down on the other sido-of. the kage] @ continuation of the track. he A COREE 2 ARE laa Re, ’ j | | | | : ” | \ t \ ‘