The evening world. Newspaper, April 13, 1904, Page 12

f of America. ti feminine air.” EDNESDAY EVENING, APRIL 13, 1904, | Published by the Press Publishing Company, SB to @ Park Row, New York. Entered at the Post-Omce | at New York as Second-Class Mail Matter. ea e VOLUME &4.......06 ceseeseeeeeees NO. 15,876. SCHOOLS AND A PUNCH IN THE HEAD, The American schoolboy will kindly rise i his place. | Is it true, sir, that you are not being brought up to punch another boy’s head, or to stand up it your own is punched? This question is not intended as an incitement to aisor- derly conduct, or breach of the peace. It is put in the words of a conclusion reached by twenty-four out of, twenty-six very good Englishmen, making up the Mosely Educational Commission, who recently visited the United States to find out what part our schools play an'making us great among nations. | A truly British conclusion this, which couples the | measure of a boy's manly advance with his disposition | to punch heads, or not to punch them! | And it is all blamed on the abounding woman teacher She is well enough in the primary school, Ybut in the high school she is responsible for the : coming over the men’ of a “strange, indefinable, Delightful! Now we know why football as our high schools and colleges have it is so ladylike a game. But it will take another British commission to tell us} why basketball as the girls’ schools have it is swelling the hospital lists of casualties day by day. Py * * * * * * * To speak to the point, the British visitors have based an absurd assertion on a surface look at things. We who live among American schoolboys all the time, seeing them at best and worst, at peace and at “scrap,” are not disturbed by what the foreign wise men say. It has been hinted above that some refutation of the Mosely men’s conclusion can be found in the country’s playgrounds. Did the honorable commissioners in their devotion to curriculums and things chance to over- look the athletic leagues which bind our American high schools and grammar schools in close outdoor alliance? Which go further and furnish to our col- leges, great and small, the blood, sinew and manly spirit that count on many fields—that have scored and will score again against ‘‘all England” teams? To take an individual instance, there is Metcalf, a present star of Yale football and baseball, a player as aggressive as clever. Grammar school and high school athletics developed his talents. He was among the boy pupils of women teachers. ‘is case is typical of the selection constantly going on from inexhaustible native sources of manly strength and skill. Waterloo, according to Wellington, was won on the playgrounds of Eton. With the victories for which our own schoolboys have propared and are preparing In robust fashion, America has had and shall have treason to be content. And yet, the woman teacher will stay. * * * * * * ° ° The gravely judging Britons have no censure for the results of our educational systent béyond the line of head-punching. True, as they see him, the American student is “not as scholarly or as well read as the English student of the same age,” but, apparently through some miracu- lous endowment, “he has his knowledge in a better form to apply.” “The Br! ish system turns out a man full of knowledge and principles, while the American product is a business man with a scientific training.” This is encouraging. It shows that the visitors looked at our boys well on the books and business side. We shall now hope that if they come again they will arrange to contemplate a school “scrimmage” or two. ‘They are assured that not a little direct application of | scientific principles will be visible ‘o the naked British | eye upon the American athletic field. * * * We have had a fond idea, over here, that among the effects ot co-education and of the employment of tact- ful women teachers is the fixing upon American boys) of certain marked airs of courtesy and consideration, Can it have been this, to our eyes, becoming appear- | ance of sex deference which impressed our British | visitors as “a strange, indefinable feminine air?” And which led them to believe that they could punch heads in this glad land without getting their own heads punched in return? Jefferson was born 161 years ago to-day. Simplicity, after-| ward culled Jeffersonian, came earlier and died but if " ttle | later. | THE AUTOMOBILE-—IT LIVES! An act of the Legislature has been officially inter- preted classifying the automobile among animals. | Overspeeding the horseless carriage is therefore punish- able as cruelty to animals and the Bergh society will continue to get the fines. It was demonstrated early in the existence of the new road monster that it could manifest in exaggerated degrees the various vices of the sometimes patient but often uncertain horse. The auto can balk, side step, jump fences, blind stagger and bolt with the most malicious or afflicted of the equine race. In addition, it oan literally burst its boiler or produce most inauspiciously a wayside con- flagration, To have all these performances attributed at last by official authority to possession by a real evil ~ spirit is a matter for glad ‘acceptance by every well- Pegulated chauffeur. * To swear “Glittering Gloria!” at a mere aggregation Jmanimate machinery has been of little satisfaction tothe ‘mobilist unduly halted, shattered or even scat- on his way. To “take it out of” an apparatus certified to as living and breathing—even with a [in the centre when walking with two | bove and the Absent Girl. By Nixola Greeley-Smith. ¢ K Tork mar | who believer | ‘2 Hs affections to be | a @ YOUNG New irrevocably centred | @ on afair maid whowe | 4, c ent yexidence the Par West ee Ws applied to this! ¢ sth ¥ mn for advice | « 4 Aas to how he in to) > i MBE | preserve the young | % ees ? A, jf] woman's Interest in| & coon himself during a| & Beas” jong period which | 4 must elapse before they meet again 4 “How can I keep her interested?” he | @ nske ‘She In very attractive and ts | % sure to have lote of other fellows around | her, T am not very much on letter writing. What shall 1 do?" His problem f# one that has perplexed separated lovere the world over from the world's beginning. Usually, how ever, It 1s considered the function of the feminine half of the conundrum to solve it, am the average man’s recipe for keap- ing an absent girl interested is to keep her guessing. It is refreshing, theref to encoun- ter young lover who doen not halleve that the duty of keeping the sacred flame alive during a period of separa- tion is not enUjrely up to the girl. Nevertheless the question he asks is of such diMcult solution that one would R great deal rather tell him frankly that one dosen't know, and still more frankly that {f he ever chances upon the recipe elsewhere one would be very t the benefit of tt one's self fevertheless there ix one thing the inquiring young man will have to get over at once—that is, hin distnate for letter-writing, For unless he possesses er can acquire in some degree the art of projecting his personality across the dividing distance through a pen-and-ink medium he might as well give up at once Moat women are sentimentalists, {deal- fats, and to these the long-distance thrill of a genuine love-letter has quite as| @ much charm and far more subtlety than that produced by an actual meeting. The only advice that can be given the young man therefore, is to leam to| ? write he wants to or not. As 4 rule men are not good: letter- writers; and the man from whom a girl wants mont to receive a love-letter can seldom write the kind of letter she Wants most to recetve. ‘Thin kind of letter does not necessarily make good literature. Indeed, there is nothing less effective than the lov letter obviously striving for effect, and the very men of the lackadaisical, pontic kind, who pride themselves upon the eovr-ready throb in their ink bottles and tho kisses thelr pen points convey, have probably never Inspired a genuine feel- ing in their lives, ‘The right kind of love-letter must blend tender seriousness with affeotion- tters, and to write them whether | 3% w THE w EVENING BEAADLODTOADD DD DADIDADDARADDIDDDOR TAM M OO ODD The Great and Only Mr. Peewee. To-Day's $5 Prise *‘Fudge’’ Idio PRIZE PEEWEE HEADLINES for to-day, $1 pald for each. SMR® B. H. HEINTZE, No. 688 Quincy street, Brooklyn. 5 The Prize ‘‘Fudge’’ Idiotorial Gook, ‘‘Does the Earth Turn ’Round the Wrong Way?’ Mr. Peewee takes Miss 24) @2644 Sixfoot to a Ball Game. ‘ SSS ice ANO GET A RED. HIP HOORAY. SLUG IT IN THE (AN OVERCOAT im weiner en | crane © D VECLEL| Ly STRADE-MAR! HOO PEE HEEL SLIPPERS yt - ir ON TH t CIAL SPRAINS ANN! q Yj Z aa i SLATS! PASTE aS SS reece WELL-WELL-WELt A) CS : i T Ce Oe eid pee Beoo2 Prardssrode09. e +> rs a No. 3—-L. V. torial Was Written by Will Mahoney, No. 305 South Second Si No. 1—ISABELLE DE VINE, No. 12 Bi dwell place, Buffalo, N. Y. in the far North the days are SIX MONTES TONG: In consideration of the LABORING CLASSES in that re- glon, THIS PAPER can- Ill see fe ithat these an atthe dition. This paper will see to os¢ days at the bea ees are REDUCED to the decent length cf BIGHT 01 Just imagine! Not only human beings, but also nature’s ELEMENTS, the Sun and Moon must needs work overtime in that “Place of Perpetual Cold Air. Such a thing would not be tolerated in this office. “The Place of Perpetual Hot Alr.” The people at the Nérth Pole KNOW what this paper has done for them. When the AURORA BORBALIS got ont of order, | who came to the RESCUE? why, the Broalag Teage ry shipped them a load of Fudges full of RED SMUDGE, , which were artistically arranged along the berizen, , OUTDOING Dame Nature. ’ The man who runs the North Pole -had better take , heed of this, AN EIGHT-HOUR DAY AT THE NORTH POLE. Comeret, 1004, Wy the Tiamat Pacey WILSON, No. 1007 Watchung avenue, Plainfield, N. J. SOoe O2O4G9OOH9O9OOO0 ate banter, and must not seem s0 very much in earaest that if » woman laughs at ft she can be sure that she was the first to Imugh, and that the joke is not on her. If the New York ycung man were to sec his Western Dulcinea once a week he would have an infinitude of things grave and tender, interesting and hu morous—to say to ier. If he can learn to write them instead he need not worry about keeping her interested—if she te worth the keeping, LETTERS, | QUESTIONS, ‘ ANSWERS. | | Yes. To the Editor of The Bvening World: | A child ts born tn the United States of foreign parents (the parents not being | naturalized), at the age of twenty-one is | said child a citizen? IHW. | On the Side Nearest the Curb. | To the Editor of The Evening World: | Should a fellow walk on the outside or | ladies? JW. B. | Fitz's Weight, ‘Toe the Biitor of The Evening World: A. bets that when Fitzsimmons and Corbet: fought at Carson City Fitsslm- mona welghed less that 165 pounds. B. bets that he welghed more than 166 pounds. Which wins? EB, L, T. H. | Neither man “wel 4 in’ officially. Corbett weighed 1831-2 Fitz claimed | to welgh 168, Yer ‘To the Dittor of The Evening Worl! Was Barnum & Baley's circus in New York City last season? J, B. KING, Where to Get Gas Meter Tented. ‘To the Editor of The Evening World | Where can get my gas meter tested | an dwhat is the charge for same? Fr. B, Jastrow Alexander, No. 1 Hanover Square, will have your meter tested on application. If the meter Is correct the fee is 8 cents, If incorrect the test will \ cost you nothing. n Plan to Check Fires, | | To the Editor of The Evenink I live in a house that h. ground floor, orld: Ja au store on | ni (Tie woodwork, | dea to have a place of metal extending | Across the house under every window to keep the flames away from the wood- idea! Mrs, Nagge What Didn’t Belong to Her! Lets Him Have His and Mr Way in Everything! Everybody knows that .©O reet, Brooklyn. By Roy L. McCardell. Illustrated byy GENE CARR. (Copyright, 194, by the Press Publishing Company, The New York World.) derood d ddd + Pere cree preoeeee seebee rs o é 3 o No, 2— Does She Waste the Money? No! And Yet to Hear that Man You Would Think She Was Taking But Then, You Know, a Man Never Appreciates the Woman that “| did not think you were small and mean enough to carry your money in your inside coat-pocket when | thought it was in your trousers.” ELPOW dare you startle mo like that? “You know how my nerves are You know that the doctor says I must ot get excited "Gong through your pockets? The How dare you accuse me of such thing? Your keys had fallen on the joor, and I only picked them up while with a metal cornice} you were out of the room. ending outward over the windows! "I know I do not get any thanks for about two feet. ‘This store caught fire | being neat and careful. You would recently, and this metal cornice saved | let your keys Ms on the floas to be | sge building by aeeping the flmes from|eaten by tho cat, and then you would Would Ht not be a good | blame me, “Don't give me any of your black jlooks, Mr, Nagg! | keep “Suppose I was in your pockets? Am | work? AR jlo @ that I should be afratd to ‘Take It from Side of Spoon, | touch my lord and master's garments? atthe Ltaitee 'aelirnel mVesine< teri | “Yes, 1 did need a little money to pay a Jethe mitkr You don't care AK 8 from the side of the spoon, B nays | yout NV RYN toh | ould ¢ bullied by ppenes for that purpose, Hlndly fe | But because T have pride and be- RT. We Jomure I have honesty [ am compelled Apply to Clvil-Service Commte-|to put up with your unjust suspicions sion, No. 61 Kim Street. ‘To the Editor of The Evening World: ui mila 4 be different and infinitely more ‘a hg Where oan I learn certain particulars as to * olvil eardce examination? pe w “It ig not that IT was doing anything inderhand or mean Itke you do. You are cruel and suspicious. You do not inderstand a sunny nature like mine. “If you had all the worry on your shoulders that I have on mine you would not stand jt as T do. “Don't stand grinning at me. My at- titude fs not an apologetic one. T have rights, I will not be kept pinched a starved that you may have money splurge over the country on sightseeing trips. ‘T went along, “Thi it wa want to go. You dmgged me awny simpty to have some one to blame for all the money you spent, you say? Jame it on me! Say “We need not have spent so much? “all, do you think I am going to trl “Se an immigrant? Would you want me to put up at cheap fire-trap tela? you would. Don't say you wouldn't! Anything Is good enough for me. I can travel in a cattle car and eat vile food in a cheap restaurant, but you must have the best going? I'd like to sen myself do it! “And just because I'm a little short running the house and take a little change, this is the way you act! “I had forty dollars yesterday? Well, suppose I had! How long do you think forty dollars will Inst? Everything 1s oo dear that T have to pinch and scrape |than Og . You know I did not) and save a penny here and a penny | there. | "Do T smoke exponsive cigars? No, I do not. T know you pretend you ha) Stopped smoking, but think of all t money you wasted on high-priced clgars before you met me. ‘L work and work and work, If you knew how hard it was to make ser- |vants attend to anything you would ap- preciate how T am All broken down “T can have all the money T want, | you say? T don't want your money, T] won't take your money. Give It to me, and stop talking about It. “Only $20! What good will $20 do me? My spring dress will be here to- day and $20 worth of lace to make over a pretense. “That ts the wives. Do not try ture. above all, Iam honest, | sacrifl “If you had a wasteful and extrava- gant wife who never asked you for money hpt took what she wanted fror your cltohes when you were not look, ing, then you would know what tt was to have a wife who would die rathe demean herself Uke that! you don’t pity any one. # way and then insult me by offering “But what do you know about hon- esty? You are suspicious of every one. You are suspicious of my brother Walle. You are so selfish that you scowled ve- that cheap old $6 shirt watst I have| cause he « the strawberries and worn til It ds a rag cream. “that's how Ido, turn my dresses| “He is weak and ngeds dalntles. things and I make them over, T| you would see that poor boy s ry to be economical and not te the| fore your eyes, and you woul: money. And much you care for my|of it. He is thinking of going to in a year or two, and it has him so worried that you should pity him. You don't pity me. Why don't you carry your clothes| tans. A French engineer says he will make a métof car under your arm. Oh, that I should be|run down a slope to a chaym in the track, at the end’e¢ considered dishonest! No, don't try to} which it will mount a springboard and turn a complete comfort me, Sour cruelty has broken |; “T hate a sneak! You put your clothe there and went out to shave merely & You put temptation in m¥) ccs so as to make the whole number they will form! money because I aid not think you| exactly divisible by seven? I've done it” vere small and mean enough to carr your money in your inaide coat pocket when I thought it was in your trousers. y men deceive their By to excuse yourself. You have a brut.! and suspiolous na- “Lam a9 particular about little things, am kind and sweet-tempered, but, But But By Martin Green. == Five Tammany Men Are Rehearsing for Each Vacant Job. 66 J SEE." sald the Cigar-Store Man, “that Tammany I dian't hang out any flags when McAdoo ap- pointed this young Lindsley to be his Third Deputy Commissioner.” “The flag-hangers in Tammany,” replied The Man Higher Up, “are on strike. The patronage is being sifted through a ladder, and all that goes through is what Tammany don't get. It is an awful scream to a hide-bound Tammany man to have the organization in power und not be able to do business, and the explo- ston is Hable to happen any minute after the State Con- vention in Albany next week. i “The Tammany job hunters have run up against the Civil-Service law. You oan't find a leader to-day that isn't jumping on the clyvil-service proposition with both feet and leaning down and beating it with his hands, but it's there and the chances are that it is going to stay ; “When the Van Wyck administration was tin-canned off the track, aud the Low push got in, the professional politicians on the Republican and reform end tried to pry our a lot of piaces !n the different departments for their people. Tammany had planted its bunch in so strong under the civil-service regulations that you couldn't see the patronage that went to the Platt ma- chine with a microscope. Probably one-third of all the city employees under the Low administration were Tammany men and they couldn't be blown out. They were sure of their jobs in the last campatgn, no matter who won, and it was bard work to get them to cough-up. “The heads of departments sre working hard enaugh to make placos for Tammany workers, with the posgible exception of the Comptroller. In the other departments the clerks who have no Tammany pull are doing» the only real work they ever did in their lives. They have to be Johnny-on-the-spot to the minute when the time comes to go on the works and not one of them makes a break for the door until the last whistle has blown in the afternoon. For every job that could be declared open there are five Tammany workers in rehearsal, "and the consequence {s that the city is getting more work out of its hired hands than ever before in its history.” “This scramble for patronage is extremely undigni- fled,” commented the Cigar-Store Man. “4 “Tt may be wrong,” admitted The Man Higher-Up, “but I'll take a chance on saying that the leader who tries to win an election on dignity is going to get, tensively stung.” GOSPLETS By the Passer=b Play Ball! a ‘T tast the omens of the year, grown fair, A The eve of long-awaited sport declare: The supphire skies with rays of gold’ allght, The emerald sward with flashing Diamonds bright, The moulting owl of indoors winged away, - ‘A coward to the bouncing bat of play; While over woods, and fields, and cote and hall A million hats rise to the cry: “Play ball!” “Bean Baters,”” “Dodgers,” “Phillies,” West and Fast, A lucky number! Open now the feast, ‘And, to the spanking national colors true, Unfurl the lustre of the red, white, blue! And “Cleveland” at Chicago will be seen (Not ‘sane and safe'—'less Grover has grown lean); At the capital, Conny Mack's “Athletics;” 5 In Gotham, the “Champions,” rigid dietetics; Blsewhere will Kelly's ‘‘Texas Trained Red Troopers” Meet Frank's “Chicago Cubs," to inspire the whoopers. ‘Thus the two leagues, Joined in the national game, Challenge the patriot and bid for fame. in Rhyme. But stay! Shall we forget the little man, Who steals from urban hardship what he can, Purloins a Sunday hour and dons the glove in a vacant lot for love? “Pinched” by the cop or bidden to “move on,” By gilded, recreant “golfer’’ frowned upon, Must he be parted from his healthy toy And slink to hidden crime, the City Boy? Awake ye heathen-Christian Powers that be! Grant Sunday. ball to wistful poverty. The Window Puzzle. Here ts a window, 8 feet high, 3 fest! wide, and square, It is desired to blocky up half this window, and yet leave a: window that shall still be 3 feet high, 3! feet wide, and square. ' How Did He Do It? , Bome children are certainly cleverert than their parents. There is the story.) for example, of the small boy who carried to hii father! three square toy bricks, on each of which was a Tinted | figure. (They were used in the nursery to teach the little ones how to count.) These were the three which the smal! boy set before his father: r OM | said he, “can you arrange thos three. “Now, father,’ And 20 fe had. Py tt ‘The question 1s, can you? Was It a Tragedy? certainly looks like it at first sight; but when father, had stndied |t for some time he burst out’ lau so there must be a catch in it somewhere, Only One Letter Missing. PREVRYPRECTMN VRIEPTHBERCE RSE, te By inserting at the proper place in this arrangement of letters one other letter a perfect sentence can i What is the letter? be made, Does this document make Jones gullty of a ertne? 4 ni New Form of ‘‘ Loop-the-Loop.’?’ i A new form of looping the joop is promised the Paris- coming. down on the other stdo-of the, ‘& sontinuation of the track. ce Ed ” y