The evening world. Newspaper, March 3, 1904, Page 12

“Pouibitned by the Press Publishing Company, No. & to @ by park Row, New York. Entered at the Post-Ofice “at New York as Second-Class Mall Matter. (ee " ———— QhUME 48... 4.000 ceeereeeeree NO. 16,588, neat RH = t Ths Evening World First. | Number of columns of advertising in The Evening World for 12 months, ending February 29, 1904. «+ A2Z,5184 Number of columns of advertising in The Evening World for 12 months, ending February 28, .1903......... ours Biss 7A"4 | tncreASE........ 4,261% This record of growth was not equalled by any newspaper. morning or evening, in the United States. azar “NO “ELASTICITY” WANTED. | ‘The atte:apt to hamstring the Tenement law has brought cut a letter from Tenemont-House Commis-! % ©00O9000600900089 ‘The Great and Only Mr. Peewee. ; ODIOPI PHI SHS FC QIS THIGH E TIE FI TSE S NG 9OOOOOO909O01000O 0009299690000 0O' ee DODd The Most Important Little Man on Earth. Lesion Copyrighted, 1903, by The Evening Wort J He Denounces Yale’s Latest Pastime and Serves as a Horrible Example. spinning Tops!!) I OARESAY THE ExT THING THEY WiLt DO 1S TO PLAY MARBLES AND Tic- TAc- yo! WHAT THEY 5 FED MOST! Pi KY “Coon enue SPANKING! = Th LP WNNY taow EDIFYING! How JM inserrina! How IN~ TELLECTUAL IT 1% FOR THE STUDENTS AT ) \ YALB COLLEGE To BE WASTING THEIRY TIME. IN THE USILLANIMous PAsTiMz OF SPINNING < es! ite LS ME BLUSH FOR MR SHAME! ss BORIS sopioner rein to Assistant Corporation Counsel Guy, ex- 6 © plaiting bis attitude toward the Hawkins bill and its @ THE EVEN congenerr. | . Mr. Crain commits himself unreservedly to tho’ “principle ct the vresent Iaw. He declares that “any legislation which would impair its efficiency would be .& public vaizmity.” At the same time he discloses C little weskness for the idea of giving the Commissioner) ‘some latitude in the matter of enforcement. ‘constantly encountering cases “in which the letter ot $ the law works injustice,’ but in which he {s unable to, 4 grant eny relief. eo What kind of cases can those be? The law requires ? =the halls of tenement-houses to have some sort of « mh ventilating and lighting arrangements. | justice to the landlord? If so, what would {ts omissica be to the tenant? = ° The law forbids the occupation of base:nents or % ‘cellars for living purposes unless they are “iit for human habitation.” Is that an injustice? The law requires the substitution of modern plumb ‘ing for “school sinks,” and other plague-breeding relics of the Dark Ages of tenement construction, This is. the point upon which the enemies of reform have made ‘their hottest fight In the courts and have been most! % decisively beaten. Would it prevent “injustice” to havo, this rule relaxed? The law requires every tenement-houss to be sup- plied with water on every floor occupied by families, Is it necessary to suspend that requirement to prevent, injustice? The law requires an opening at the bottom of every Airshaft or court to enable it to be cleaned out. In) about how many cases would justice prescribe that! courts should be left dirty? The law requires an allowance of at least 400 cublo feet of air for every adult and 200 for every child in a tenement room—that !s to say, a space about seven ani @ half feet each way for a grown person, and one leas than six fost each way for a child, How small a box would be needed to prevent injustice to the landlord? On fuller reflection, Mr. Crain belisves that “the wisdom of the Hawkins bill to the extent that it sub- * stitutes the judgment and conscience of the Commis-| % » sioner for the Tenement-House law may as a matter of ® Public legislative policy be questioned.” The publio $ will go even further. It regards the proposed mutila-| 2 :To-day’s $5 Prize. “Evening Fudge” Editorial Was Written by Mortimer Kaliski, 1977 2d ave., N. Y. City. 3 PRIZE PEEWEE HEADLINES for To-Day, $1 “thon of the law as not merely a matter of questionable! “wisdom,” but as one of plain, unblushing greed and. S0992O : Is that an in-)@ INNS 7S . ONE CENT FOR OUR DAILY BIG CLA > ve RAH! Ran! RAH! BREK-EK~0AX CO-Ax ~ Coax 7 Tit spin You- you SAWED OFF HAMMERED DOWN HoT Ai SHOOTER! OF THE EVENING FUDGE, ‘Why are little y men foremost among the world’s , Littieness in* Stature Means Wee Bigacss in Thought. { Being a Sawed-Oft! Pritosophy of eine o etpan ca) “How DARE tcl osquito bites you, you scral poor oy the bran and back hogy . you ‘Did this ever hold your though! IE EVENING FUDG) KID M<CO ~~ BUYS 25 28D OEESEESOIOSUOTACSTHSHISS Sratt, with which no adminfstration, State or local, can! 3 Brooklyn. ‘ afford to mix its name. ; WHERE WILL IT STOP? ‘As may be seen by the table at the head of this column, the increase in The Evening World's advertis-|: jing for the year ending with February, 1904, was over. “80 per cent. as compared with the Previous year. To be exact, it amounted to 4,261% columns—an average «Of over 13% columns per day. 4 Evening World had to devote nearly two pages more a advertising every day in 1903 than in 1902, No other paper in America, morn{ng or evening, has had such a record of growth. It is really almost alarming, suggesting disquieting reflections as to whera this progress is going to stop. It is like the congestion on the transit lines—everybcdy wants to ride on the In other words, The | Union Telegraph Company, Trenton, N. J. 3 DO9OO$44OO0$-6-96-4509O19OH069959HH9H9HHHEOEHHHGOHOHOHOHOD hort man the distance Iss me . spent In real BRAIN WORK. 1 is with every action. . AAPOLEGN was ear vale = seven-foot, ¢ scratchint THINK “GAIN 11 This thme h nbaak OPN) ‘WASHINGTON and LINCOLN iba po But thtak also Li much je. readers 10 a tat atin tas condition read * The forkman's aa ve-Hour Sicep. Utopla—a Twell " ————— polght Bave POSTAGE STAMP. UBWAY cA | Paid for Bach: No. 2—W. H. BICKFORD, No. 83 Hancock Street, Brooklyn. To-Morrow’s Prize “Fudge’’ Editorial Gook (by a woman), ‘‘A Croton Bug Four Feet Long.”’ OOOSOO< OC Mrs. Nagg and Mr.— They Go of what ers’ Exhibit. Mrs. Terwiliger UG \JES. this in the Masonte Temple. Y 1 will not be kept tn ignoranee| the season's fashions are to be, I will go in to the Dressmak-| were here thoy said the President of the National Dressmakers’ Association, Miss a By Roy L. McCardeil. Illustrated by GENE CARR. to the Dressmakers’ Demonstration, and of Course that Awful Man Browbeats Her Right in Front of Everybody. Isn't It Awful? }_"You are the only man here? |what of it? ‘the honor, idying to come. | torest In dress and higher fdeals, Gassaway and Mrs, yesterday, and | to come up on the platform. 220099 > No. 1—JOHN J. DUFFY, No. 503 Hicks Street,? “No, 3—J. J. MacDONOUGH, care Westerns g e eS bg ° DLOPHDOIDHHHEHOGHHGH0G0000050O000000069 Well, You should be proud of Mr, Smig told me he was Mr. Smig takes an in- ‘See, Miss White is beckoning to you She ‘wants to show how the new corsets was just lovely! jwill even help a man’s horrid shape. -.ears, and every merchant feels ‘it a business necessity to| “Of course, you don't want to go, Mr.! ‘You won't go up? Of course you Advertise in The Evening World. Let us hope that ip] N®6s: You never want to fo anywhere) pete You avantte nak a show of Sw except perhaps to vulgar musical com- me before everybody. You want to Tin not become necessary to shut the gates and let the|eaicn, where there ure boll alsplays of! Take me ralculous. rain move on, leaving disconsolate advertisers Btanding| lingerie and such horrid things that de-| on the platform. ee jon for Reslaming.—A postmaster in Ark signed. uch a proceeding naturally requires orgie tie, It seems that his family has become Involved In a feud of ® devastating character, and that “ turned their toes to the daisies, _ Prevailing tlower of that’ regi or whatever may be the ion. The postmaster hag three of them have Nght such n 8 “I iknow the entr. 1s NOT on} view of those new skirts, ‘Twenty-third tas around here “Please stand atill, Mr. Nagg. Be’ on Aixth ave Don't attempt to tusefulfor once tn your life, You should | bully and threaten me in the publlo street, Mr. Nagg. IS on Sixth a nue, “Here {8 a cometery office and a bank you. instant. jbe proud of this chance, I say the entrance wear stays. Mr, “You shall go up! Come with me this I'm just dying to got a closer The Engilsh , noblemen who are officers In the Guards Smig wears them. | That's the reason his coats fit so beau- Feaxon to belleve that he will soon be tagged “No. 4" ana] 1 Knew the entrance wasn't on tiful, But you don’t care how dowdy laid with the other relies of war, and he wants to go away| "@% But of eum LIED 0: & vouslage: from there. It ts to be hoped the department will aceoe| NOW hove, your way and drag me b ; “Yee, thiy it my fiusbong, aise, White MMs view of the matter, It around here! | Don't be afrald to lace him tight, . 4, nervice, hut the salary tt pear samay eeacecinnd Faithful) why didn't you let me go the way that makes him look smart. Oh, Mr. yeaa tbh martyrs. 11 wanted? ‘Here we are, Which way? t Nagg, why don't you stand stil? Are fi as Ww Just follow the women, Ninn: } you ashamed to be he! Do you want of the Cxzar.—It might be wished that the C: would weep less, Tho occasions upon which a full- ‘Bn extent npt justified by tho facts, lelde.—One Eugene Brandenburger ii ¥. To his funeral came ti ee n each mourning the man whom sho was to marry. None objected particularly to the xar| You would do that quick enough pe: to come with me you are sullen, peevish and irritable, “phere, that lady ts Aren't those gowns stu “What fs that sho in ¢ Why, that is a stocking fori, has not been amputating anybody: I suppose you think that a joke, Mr, Nagg, but I consider it coarse, | You, Do you ‘coarse," “What lovely robes de nuit. Did you Colmninety-elghts you would want mo aver see such beautiful corsets? I supe, such things on th give me, but at leas ction of seeing, Brace up! Stand" St.nleht! him in the back! Muss Whi ts out of Of course, you don't him straighten up! Wait til I Miss Brace Up! Stand Straight! Punch Him in the Back! ning? 1 rryin, a7 Pose you suggested our coming here |to go because you see I am interested. i rin Nova? that I might be taunted by tho fact! Why did you drag me hero, then care. You don't care If Tlook a fright, vomel, How dare you act sao that I must content myself with cheap| Is nothing to amile at, Mr. Nagg. 1t 18] 1 am only a servant, to sit at home in long Wit J be dite tp Re tip witt bargain counter corsets, Well, what if|a cultured and refined sho I) sup-|a wrapper and work my fingers to the member, there are ladies present. corsets ‘made :0|pose you will make remarks about it to| bone for you. What thanks dol get for "An, ‘are they mot. lovely hear me? X said Caer? Forty dollars ts dirt cheap, and|vour friends, ‘Noni sol.’ Mr. Nagg—|it? Do you ever appreciate the fact| youve broken the lace! Oh, Mr. ae sald they last five tines longer than. the|bvt what's the use tn talk to you? that I never spend a cent on myself and never aw full skirts were com- | that you waste enough money every day! "FV, simply ant. te, make “I told you eform myself with, ing back: You see, Mr. Nags, I haven't 1d be dressed if jaughing & ‘ calor hy has 2 wnite.| log? ‘1 know you want to leave, You want|@ thing At to wear, Rvery dress I hat to make me look ridiculous? Everybody rown| haps if I were not here, ! Is laughing at you? They are laughing man with whiskers has a right to cry le an hysteriedt What's that? You have troubles apne for iacing sucha’ tyrantic? a girl are few. Certainly one of them Js not when a great| enoush of your own? What do husband who objects to help his wife army needs the direction of a leader with clear heaa| ™ean. Mr. Nags, what do 3%. me get close to what's swagger and fash- Gnd undimmed eye, However, it is possible that the cor-| Nothing? Yes, you did mean so lionable. 1 will never be able to have Feapondents have besprinkled thelr manuscript with bring| (hing, (00. Just because T asked you little money you I will have the Punch make t you! how long will I be able to put up with you! om There, nh you a me. A SCHEDULE OF FINES FOR GOTHAM WIVES : “és SEE," said the Cigar Store Man, “that a woman cut in Chicago wants a divorce because he> hnsband used to fine her a dollar every time she reid the morniag paper before he did.” “She must have a terrible thirst for knowledge to run the risk of a dollar fine for the first flash at a Chicago morning paper,” replied the Man Higher Up, “but that don’t spread any film on the fine-system gag. Chicago husbands are original, anyhow. Some of the best divorce cases we have come from Chicago. “This particular husband was undoubtedly driven to impose fines on his wife by the long-standing and hitherto unbalked-at method of fining husbands pur- sued by wiyes. The worm has turned. Let the wom- an who makes her husband bring home an itemized list of his expenses every pay night beware! A pioneer has framed up a scheme to beat them. “By a gradod system of fines for wives every house- hold ought to run as smoothly as an automobile boat. flor instance, a wife might be soaked a $2 fine for ap- pearing at breakfast with a cour face and turning loose an assortment of burning words. A similar fine would keep her from meeting the old man with a bunch of grouches when he gets home at night and making his dinner feel like a meal of sawdust. If she insists upon keepivg a dog the husband might fine her a dollar every time It barks, and a $5 fine every time she threat- ens to go home to her mother ought to either persuade her to keep quiet about it or go. A good able-bodied finer at the head cf the house should be able in time to get his wife so far in his debt that she would have to hock her jewelry or cal on her folks for money for the household expenses. The collection of the fines is a cinch. It is simply a case of hold-out on settiing day." “How much of a fine do you think ought to be im- posed cn a woman who walks with the Grecian. bend, as the latest fashion decrees?” asked the Cigar Store Maa. ‘A fine for that offense,” answered the Man Higher Up, “would be like sentencing a man to eat himself to eeath when found guilty of murder in the first degree. The enly thing for a man to do after his wife decides to walk with a Grecian bend is to go home when he knows she is out, pack his trunk and buy a ticket for the longest ride his bankrell will stand.” Have Geniuses the Rightfo Marry? By Nixola Greeley-Smith. CCORDING to a lecture dellvered in A Chicago yesterday by Mrs. Kate Upson Clark, of New York, a genius should not marry, “Genius js insanity,” she declared, “In order to be a genius one yes most of the time In a world of deep emotions. It ts hard for people of artistic temperament to conform to ordinary rules. Thus di- vorces, suicides, drunkenness and im- pulsive vices are found among people of gen ‘The irrepressible tempera- ment seems to be absolutely necessary to art.” Undoubtedly, this 1s the greatest blow that has been struck at the institution , of matrimony tn recent years, For, eliminating the genus genius from the list of possible sacrificers to Hymen, who or what will be left? Not you, surely, gentle reader, not your Urilllant cousin, your talented brother, your wonderful nephew, nor your next door neighbors, nor mine. For if the bell were to ring for the great international genius. sweep- stakes this minute would we not all be ready to toe the line? Considering the subject more serlously, how may a man or woman determine—or other men and women determine for them—whether or not he or she posse: the divine afflatus that, if Mrs. Clark and others before her are to be bolieved, unfits one for the married state? ‘ So far as the artistic temperament, which cannot conform to ordinary rules, 1s concerned, more ‘crimes have been com- mitted in its name than in that of all the seven deadly sins for which it exhibits such a marked proclivity. If a man who can't play “The Campbells Are Coming” without mak- ing his neighbors wish that they would come in a rush and get it over, wants to elope with his best friend’s wife, he suddenly remembers that he Is a musician and does it—in the name of the artistic temperament. If an amateur photographer posing as an artist, or a half-baked author who can't spell, or a ten-twent’-and- thirt’ actor out of a job wants to do anything that a self- respecting weasel would balk at, he does It because he is a genius and because of his artistic temperament. - It would be too had, however, if the crimes committed In the name of genius should bar the few real and fortuna possessors of it from marriage and inflict upon the huma: race the Inevitable deterioration that must come from the Imitation of its Joys and sorrows to mediocre people. It 1s true that many unquestioned genluses have led un- conventional lives, But they did not do so because they couldn't help !t—no person of ordinary intelligence does anything for that reason—but merely because they could afford to, The lives of ordinary people are cut according to system ns their clothes ure, They get them ready-made because they can't afford anything else, When a genius comes along he thinks he would like his life made to his own measure, and in order to fit himself out properly takes a | tength from one commandment and pjits a gusset into an- other until Moses himself would not recognize his handiwork. Generally ho Is very much disappointed tn the result, for the ready-made life ts decidedly the best ope to be had. And the ready-made life includes marriage, which has « certain disciplinary value for every one, gen!us or not. |” Sensible Dont’s in Dress, Don't sacrifice finess to fashion, Don't spoil the gown for a yard of stuff. Don't sacrifice neatness to artistic effect, Don't neglect quality for the sake of quantity, Don't dresy more fashionably than becomingly, Don't imagine benuty will atone for untidiness, ; Don't dress to’ startle people's eyes, but to satisfy them Don't look nm frump Decnuse you cannot look éspectalty sinart, Don't dress your head at the expense of your hands and feet. Don't buy foolishly and then blame your limited inéome for your shoddy appenrance, ci Don't wear vertleally striped motertal jf you are tall. Don't. expnet great bargains to turn out great wavings. Don't wear big sleeves and big hats if you are short,» Don't jump into your clathes and expect to look-dresied, Don't put cost before cut, Cordod silk won't cover «poor be tai de for woman: not we i Don’t forget that dross was made for yi Rot woman, for dreas. ee om