The evening world. Newspaper, September 24, 1903, Page 14

Tepmere pee orga me Publishes by the Press Publishing Company, No. & to 8 » Park Row, New York. Entered at the Post-OMce my at New York as Zecond-Class Mal! Matter. 15,374. —_— —_ ———— WOLUME 44......... «+ +12 NO. THE TORN-UP STREETS. ‘When a Rapid Transit official informed us in May that most of the subway litter would be cleared away by Jane we may have doubted. When «another authori @qually credible assured us in August that by Oct. 1 the ‘entire subway excavation from City Hall Park to the Bronx would be covered and the street surface restored ‘We may have cherished misgivings. The fact that seven @nd one-half miles of this street fissure is still open indi- fates how reasonable those doubta wera, Rut when Chief Bngineer Parsons, in answer to the query. “Will the time 4 @ver come when the streets of New York will not be | Tipped up?” answers “Never,” we doubt no longer; the; % fear is father to the bellef. | Mr. Parsons, in giving reasons for this prophecy, re peats his remark of a year ago to an Evening World existing congestion of travel. This will mezesettate other subways and tunnels and with the attendant up- Raval of the street surface by trenches for gas pipes, ‘water mains, pneumatic tubes, electric wires and all the! mass of aubterranean utilities, the removal of old pave- ments and the laying of new and the repairing of out-! worn asphalt such as has just impeded the traffic in Nassau street most seriously, the prospect is good for a Sontinued uninterrupted reign of chaos in the streets. Shopkeeper and pedestrian have for two years en- @ared the impositions of street-ripping contractors not tiheomplainingly, but with the hope that it was soon to “be, over. The hope is rudely dispelled. and from sad @aperience they know the futility of complaint. s1 cae: interviewer that the subway will afford no relief for the! 4 £OODSSSOTHOOOOE iebledesdecsocesetecsscsceseeoese PIOLED CHCOSHOOLOOOOD- A Stranger in New vork-.- He's Hiram Hawbuck from Hohokus = « + « a Rd Bd THERE QUGHT Ve BE GoeD > GRAFT WERE WHAT Confessions ec Olves * A Male Flirt. Edited hy ROY L, MeCARDELL. NOTE.—Phe editor of these “Con- ere BUSINESS AND MORALITY. end Pacific Railroad has issued an order making the use of liquor and of cigarettes in excess reasonable @ause fot an employee's discharge. It was not thus in ¥ early days of railroading, when “Tom” Scott was J whi the Pennsylvania, nor later, when “Tom” Potter " managing head of the Burlington. The railroad did not then concern itself with an employee's habits Outside the office. This present insistence on good behavior as a quall- fication for fitness for railroad service is part of a gen- tral movement in the West making for a higher moral standard in employees. In Chicago recently the Western Bléetric Company, that city’s largest employer of labor, @esire the services of those who practise any of these things. Notice is hereby given that any employee so abus-{ fing himself {s subject to dismissal. A rule of similar scope is said to be in force at Mar- tiall Field & Co.'s and at Farwell & Co.'s, and other great busipess houses exact rigid moral requirements from their employees. As regards the use of liquor, even fim the mines, where there has been a traditional laxity, \ there is now strictness. In District No. 9 in Pennsyl- ania the habitual use of intoxicants is now ground for discharge. rising to junior partnerships. However that may be asa feature of the “tendency toward moderation in all things” which Bronson Howard notes, these examples of the business penalties of excess may be cited as of interest. Xt is not that a man may not smoke a cigar or order a high ball. Habitual indulgence is what employers are] @ghting and it is a war of which the public approves, ‘well knowing that it is Ilkely to accomplish more for “temperance than any organized society has been able to effect. WHY NEW YORK IS BIG. “Why is New York such a large city?” asks a Grand street correspondent. Living on the very edge of the district in which, according to Dr. Haupt, a baby ts born “every four minutes, if he seeks the reason he has only STE Y other than having prepared them for puvlication. ‘They are the genuine personal experience of another. They reached the editor a confused scrawl, written on both sides of the paper, containing much matter of no inter save as food for its author's vanity. 89990 09S 23526 My First Flirtation. WANT to begin my Confession by} saying that every line I have writ- ten here that tells of my personal experience Ja the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, Nothing in extenuation and naught set down in malice, Ordinarily no one cares whether 4 story is true or not so long as it ts speak right out plain and if these con= foasions will have any merit at all it will be the merit of truth and sincerity. T am now forty years of age. Since I was fourteen I have been a hunter of dear, and a most successful gne. My experiences have taught me that there is only one sillier creature on the face of the earth than a man, anq that is a woman, as these memoirs will prove. To begin with, I was always a@ flirt. When other boys of my age were raid- ing apple orchards or fishing in the An Gpisode at the Brooklyn Bridge. New York has \s favorite trysting places. In the course of my Confessions J will tell you where they are, but my first firtation of any importance took place at the greatest place tn all the world for dates—the entrance to the Brooklyn Bridge. I had met a pretty gpl on Fourteenth street upon several occasions as 1 was coming {rom my work aa a shipping clerk for the firm of B— & Co, Half a dozen times I made up my mind to speak to this girl who passed and repassed, with one eye on the spot that had evidently been a tryst, and the other on a clock, But she looked so F2BGLOOOS90HE 90-096 SH9OPHOHPSOSD $9609900-0% oe ae D9DDSO 9990 OOOO G90 09000O89O DEDDIDEM $36OO000G9O0O sibeokadeseies SEGDOEOH9OOHHODDHL}HEHH FOE HHOHHS FHHOSOOOS Being a Series of Primitive Bas-Reliefs Discovered While Excavating for the Subway. ad VERY. WELL. WAG enes} ne Cs fee | HIRAM TAKES HIS ees Wark :Mrs. Waitaminnit--the Woman Who Is Always Late. <tr Ap Awful Lot Can Happen Between a Wife’s Promise to Be Ready and Its Fulfilment, : QUICK HORTENSE Cousin JACK ISTO TAkE US TO SEEA SHOW ~ DRESSQuiCKq SPost You Go HOME AND Ger) THE Missu AnD) (Must FIRST PowdER MY is . WELL GO 0 TO SrHow [HURRY HOR TENSE Ywiu HASTEN, AG UP "BROAD WAY. Rey DEAR AND ILL GOTELLD TACK Tore PATS MARY MACLANE*S J BRLELER ! GET On. Vo bE REEW!) N CF vert \A SSS A Letter- Writing ele desires it to be thoroughly . | Following the example of the Wabash, the Illinois tavern hie own home “and Campaign. erecthat he has. no ce Central and the Burlington. the Chicago, Rock Island| ‘ith these memoirs of hk “inasher SEE that District-Atiorney Jerome has taken his a] pen in hand again,” Man. “Thus far said the Man Higher Up, “this has been a correspondence campaign on the fusion side. The proper way to unwrap anything, according to the revised Hoyle under which they are running things, is to write soinething down, address it to a personal friend or a sincere enemy, and then call the reporters. “First Mr. Cutting wrote to the Mayor, but before he mailed the letter he gave copies of it to the free and enlightened press. Mr. Jerome thereupon wiped his hands on a piece of waste. sat down to his greasy bench in his Lakevilie workshop and indited one right off the remarked the Cigar Store _ Posted this general notice: interesting, ang a bore always begins a BACK—1M 2 fire. It was addressed to an unsuspecting Bast Side- 4» Playing the races, all forms of gambling, immoral con- Pana Ree evn’ et is : Iiy NOSE Cow Ks |itizen who had applied to him for information. The In- @uct and the oxcessivo use of cigarettes greatly mpair one's ? oe i ‘ © | tormatio! f -Misefulness. The best business houses in the city do not|*®Y ome cared. But 1 am going to ® BEE CA CIMCON TS ARGR SCTE SEUSS ment. “But Mr. Jerome didn’t send his epistle direct to his friend. He went to the front door of his cottage and interrupted a game of pitching horseshoes on the lawn which was being participated in by some of the brightest lights in the New York newspaper field. To each of them he gave a copy of his Low roast together with instructions as to how to reach the telegraph office by the shortest route, “The man to whom the letter was addressed got creek I was playing sweethearts with it in his morning paper the next day. He sat and The contemptuous clerk may ask whether an era is |some little girl of the neighborhood. pondered for a long time and then he came to a con- @pproaching when Sunday-school fiction will become| 1 mre" Up this way and went through clusion. fact, the good boy who never touches Ilquor, becoming | Muqy nine end then Tene ne “‘Why,' he asked himself, ‘should I waste a two- the proprietor’s son-in-law and the little Robbie Reeds | York. cent stamp sending a letter to my esteemed friend Jerome when there are so many honest space grabbers mady to print it in the newspapers?’ “So he started off his letter to Jerome by telling him that, being as he was going to get it anyhow, it woukin't be sent. The District-Attorney didn't an- swer this letter, He was busy with another deal, “He bad been getting letters from Thomas A. Ful- ton, Secretary of the Citizens’ Union, and he was exz- amining them with the patience of a piker in a faro game. He dragged out his encyclopaedias and dream- books and charts of the stars in an effort to learn what the letters were about. “‘Here's a man,’ said Jerome, ‘who asks me to meet him in the Subway with a pair of false whiskers or to telephone him under an assumed name. He ap- pears to be telephone sby. I guess J'll let him alone E ‘talook about him. One reason, at least. The average] fsn-hred and haughty | ee ee and see how he plays his hand out.’ Dirth rate for the city, reduced by the Murray Hill mini-| perate ie “The result is history. Another letter came and mum of a baby a month, is twelve an hour. That is|to call “The Queen” fumble at her the Jerome vocabulary was turned loose. He got down + 9@,016 a week and 104,832 a year. An Omaha, almost two Uticas, added annually poten the midwife's minis- trations. > This infantile increase would alone make New York great, Yet, in fact, by the figures of the Bureau of Vital Statistics it is but little more than half the increase, which is estimated at 200,000. Every year also comes a oe half’ of those entering this port stay here; the farms of ‘Minnesota and the Pennsylvania coal fields may claim many of them. But enaugh stick to make a notable yell, which ts a sure sign a woman ts going to be on her way and not even a mirror will further delay her. ‘Faint heart never won fair lady,” sald I to myself, and I stepped in front of the beauty, beg vour pardon, miss, speak to vou?" She endeavored ° 1 saw the girl I was afterward : rs 2 $ 2 4 but may 1| ® $9HOOOHOOHOHHHODOODH to pass me as i¢ girl than the girl who was to meet mo and a man who woukin't meet a stun- ning girl ike you deserves to lose her. ANSWERS. I LIVE on Eighty-eighth street, between Park and Lexington avenues. where the squawl of the new-born babe and the noise of the nattle never lets up. Jokes of the Day. his ready-letter writer and looted it. When he had finishec his epistle he followed out the regular rule and gave it to the press, “In conclusion, Robert Fulton Cutting wrote a let- ter to Mr. Jerome and gave it to the press, Before the campaign {s over I look for the Post-Office Department to get out an injunction against this thing of carrying t ¢ eity-full, say a Yonkers, of foreigners to add to the|she was not conscious of my presence, ee nn on a correspondence without postage stamps.” FE Popiilation. For ten years this imuiigration has aver=| ut persisted, LETTERS, Is This the Champion Baby Block of New York? 30me of the Best “I haven't seen any Tammany letters published,” Near ; ome," I said, “We've both been sald the Cigar S : ‘ WaGs £79,000, a year, not all for New York, mor do/event iia. on our dates: You erm ¢ nined QUESTIONS, To the Réitor of The Evening World: gaa lec laias “Whenever a ‘Tammany man writes a political let- ter," answered the Man Higher Up, “he hunts up the ‘Talk about babies born in New Yori at the rate of one every five minute: man it is addressed to, whispers the contents in his I'll wager that one comes into the world every five seconds in our blook. THE POWER OF SONG, Jet's talk it over, Come, be a good addition, fellow! APs Malo Nate Author—I understand, my dear fellow, |°*? tears the letter into small pieces and burns them cana : att which | tl “ vo > Sa f and from corner to corner there {sn't @ pane of glass g ” An accurate census of domestic immigration, of which | ane jage To the Editor of The Evening World From tasement to roof that my song once saved your life. one at a time, st part of my speech did th Will y y jm y= -octave-tonall bab; . ah * the remainder is largely composed, would be interesting business, Every woman wants to be 's TOU Neinaly [etye, melithe: ee Alng | dn, the: blook/<hadi therehien ts: lusty=lunwell and) torty:dotavextonslled UBRY Ll Gratetull Meraohcalt edid MAU LOneD Fe of the word ‘Migpah?" H. 8. M. Mizpah means “The Lord watch be- tween me and thee while we are absent for. Sleep {s murdered on this block In a way that would make a Macedonian massacre look as harmless as a vitascope prize-fight, and the public peace is disturbed from morning to night by tootsy-wootsy rioters in a way that quad- started to sing it and I hurried out of the room. Ten minutes later a fire broke out in the theatre. I might have the immigration from the Illinois village, the Iowa “farm or the Alabama cottonfleld. The business man soo) fellow.” You can get them to do more fool things 1£ you advance that New Mystic Number. Modern occultists maintain that the number four plays zs argument than 1 % % be Successful jocally comes here for a larger market. The] pyibes, threats, team cl ean st the one: from another, ; Sriginally it had|} ruple discounts a boiler-yard in full shorue. come may get used to the woe been among those killed.—Baltimore| quite as importint a part in mundane affairs as the number : 6 igi playwright, the Ohicago humorist, the Denver|’ Just say ‘Bee gosa ection tt’ ahey mental moaning, but was a plea| | songs of little ones as some grow accustomed to “I. road noises, but me, never! |] American, thirteen, and for the following reasons, There are four for fair play between Jacob and Laban. The Tough Gang. To the Editor of The Evening World: I haven't had a full night's sleep since I moved here two years ago. Is there another baby block 4n New York that can equal it? Let's hear from Evening World readers. BABELESS WONDER, cardinal points, four seasons, four rules for arithmetic, four’ conjugations and four quarters of the moon. A pack of cards is composed of four equal parts and of four sujls. am fall for it ev time. They want to be "a hum’! and you can get them good by playing on that Ine when promoter, the San Francisco inventor, they are attracted FOR ALL OCCASIONS. to the metropolis as to a magnet. And their number is “The late Cassius M. Clay seems to not small. they would laugh at you and leave you| In regard to your editorial on the RN hav been a Ser industrious man. hour Is divided into four quarters, and most pleces or rurmt come! serene {f you give them a ‘How your face|Cherry Hi tough gung I would say the ‘What are ay seaaeratin Dent ture have four legs. The occultists even point dut that every aA ty by y “Made wills.”"—Clevelan: ain Deal-) human being has four canine t and % EXERCISE AND FAT. ae Gia! ‘aha pate fault Hes with the Magistrates, who, ee rare ine teeth that a fork has four Ustened and finally agreed it would be g good thing and a ®ood revenge on our recreant sweet- instead of dealing more severely with these prisoners, usually only fine them, whervus they would be more safe it The popular theory that exercise is the best anti-fat remedy {s apparently disproved by the President's in- THE OLD ANGLER. “OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES.” preasa of woight since his occupancy of the White ouse, Mr, Roosevelt is said uow to weigh 220 pounds against 185 two years ago. This gain of thirty-five hearts If we went away together. 4 took her to the theatre and—for We always do things in style the first time—home in a cab, given six months in jail, sive them time to regain thelr senses. PROPERTY-OWNER, which would Little Bess—What's natural history? war and kill each other, . Little Fred—I guess that must be the kind people make when they start a “T understand {t was rumored that your old friend Briscom had gone to the happy hunting ground “It was all a mistake, If Briscom had gone anywhere it would have been to The Largest Spider. ‘The largest spider in the world has been found in Sumatra, Its hody is nine inches in circumferenge, and its legs spread seventeen Inches, And all the way home I had “the Queen's" head on my shoulder and—- But you know how confidential a cab makes even total strangers, — SPEED. ‘The little girl with the ice-cream soda check in her hand was patiently await- ing her turn at the crowded park res- taurant counter. “Mamma,” she said, “those clerks mvst have to work awful fast to wash ounds has occurred in spite of the most vigorous ath- Gunday-school Teacher—Willie, what part of the East did the wise men come from? Willte—From either Yale or Harvard, the happy fishing grounds.""—Cleveland Plain Dealer, POINTER FOR POETS. “IT don't see anything In this new poem of Jone: said the ass'stant editor, “Of course you don't,” replied the edl- tor in chief, “because I opened it first and took a $5 bill out.""—Atlanta Con- stitution, NOT THE ONLY ONE She—She's really the worst gossip ja the nelghborhood, Why, I heard this morning tiimt shes— ' “> Hoon, now, don't try to beat her VAt her owa gaine—Philadelphia Ledger, I don't remember which, Chance Greetings—No, IV. Sheehan (Jolin C.): Yep, shade of John Kelly, it’s Hep! By my heart beats {t is no Illusion, And unless I misthink we are ready to drink To the utter confusion of Fusion. Russell (William Hep.) : Oh John, you are a lovely man, And my heart go's out to you! Yes, gladly I'll drink with a right merry clink ) To the swat of the Citizens’ U, . as shown by the last census? The Sentence Is riding of a kind impossible to the ordinary eques- dumbbells, the punching bag, tree chopping and multifarious forms of work in the guise of ath- s In whlch the President has indulged. ‘here any kind of exercise which he has not tried he has tried in which he has not gone to the #8; yet the net result !s an increase of avolr- Memma—Tommy, I heard you had been as bad as you could be while I was out this afternoon, What have you to say for yourself? ‘Tommy—Don't believe st, mamma, I could have been twice as worse. following sentence as being incorrec = “He visited Naples, Pompeii, Florence “Johnny,” said his mother, “I don't want you to play with those bad little and Rome, the latter clty he described, on the street any more."” &c,, &c." The other party insists that the All right, mamma," replied Johany. word latter is ungrammatical and that|| ao you?” \t should read: “the last mentioned ctty, f — ‘sought to keep down. those glasses and spoons,” &c., &e."" Which is correct? “oll Nollie’s parents were of the migratory sort, having that the ordinary citizen, lacking|,,"Ye8 dear.” replied her mamma.| The term “latter” 1s here hota within a year, says tho Chicago News: so one day when her ipivea.up the battle as helpless ona ‘They do !t so quickly you can't see|as more than two cltles are mentioned,|} mother was unable to find the carpet-sweeper Nellie sald roassuring!, “But you don't care if I fight ‘em, them do it at all, I've been watching| ‘The last mentioned” or “the last them,”"—Chicago Tribune. uamed'’ would have been correct,