The evening world. Newspaper, May 25, 1903, Page 10

Perk Row, New York. Entered at the Post-OMce at New Yor as Second-Claas Mali Matter. OE RARENERD OOS Sn SS See aS VOLUMEN48.0 oi... ceseeeeeeeee/ NO. 18,282. ' LIGHT UP THE CITY! It is to be. regretted that the Municipal Art Com- missions of Oshkosh and Kalamazoo cannot he pres- ent to take note of the superior beauty of the City Hall decorations, An appropriation of $5,000 does not go far in providing the paraphernalia for a gala-day display;. but there is no question that the City Hall, in its bare beauty, with only the official flags raised to mark -the occasion, would furnish a more becoming showing than the ridiculous “court of honor,” with its dirty poles and soiled bunting, the effect of which 4s -puggestive of Coney Island midway elegance. In order that New York may signalize its birthday celebration with at least one decorative feature suf- ficiently beautiful and unique to be remembered to the ward The World’s project, now given official sanction by the Mayor, of lighting up the entire city to-morrow night. Such an illumination would prove incompara- Diy fine, and its glare and splendor would serve to Diind us to the inadequacy and Inferfority of this chieapening display of bunting. FROM BURGOMASTER TO MAYOR. It would doubtless be a proud day, likewise one of interesting reflections for the ancient Burgomasters of New Amsterdam, if they could stand with the Mayor and Aldermer in the somewhat circus-like “court of honor” before the City Hall and observe about them the wonder- ful development of the idea of representative govern- ment to which they owed their origin during Goy. Peter Stuyvesant's administration and which Is the main event ‘of the “birthday” we celebrate this week. ‘They would see that idea developed and amplified here, as nowhere elee in the world. No other seed of municipai liberty so tiny has anywhere else had so robust and expansive a growth as in New York. ‘What would astonish them most? Not the City Hall itself, for there were Italian palaces like it in their day, some of which they might have seen In their youth. Possibly the Post-Officc. Certainly the skyscrapers, any one of which contains a larger population than that of the entire clty of 1653, some of them thrice as large. Probably the most astounding thing would be the view * of the half-dozen ocean liners, which on one day of last week brought up the harbor six times as many new citi- zens as there were residents of the New Amsterdam of the first Burgomasters: If they were to turn and look to the northeast they would sce, on Gov. Stuyvesant's “bowery” farm, reach- ing from S!xth street to Sixteenth and from Third ave- nue to the Bast River, a greater population than that of their native Holland. If they looked to the northwest cross the Lispenard meadows they would behold the t tavgible evidences of wealth greater than that of any Bupopean capital of their century. In the lane which _+ their daughters frequented to hang out the family linen t to-day they could find more precious stones many times "i over than their Amsterdam contained, then the world’s E mart for diamonds. And in adjacent streets more ready [ cach than in all the financial centres of the Burope they knew. In Wall street they would hear of land sold at more for a square foot than for eight broad acres of Gov, Peter's young city. Could a resident of the early city returning to life beyond the mentai grasp of many who live here to-day. Shey find in every excursion they take about the city, city’s credit, citizens should feel In duty bound to for-| —— - a 2D2DLOODDLDODDADODOVORODIN D944 99% COPOORODFOUADEDOOODDOOOOOOO ¢ DOO 000000000005 MR. CHESTY DELIVERS A LECTURE ON FLIRTING---AND IS REWARDED. THIS 13 \ SHOCKING! LOVE MAKING IN PUBLIC! roomy SPEAK To THEM est) ENN, TOLD ABOUT ~ NEW YORKERS. talking to so famous a musician, asked omposing much latel: Damrosoh, “Bach has been de-com- posing for nearly 200 years.” 3) el ne Murry Dannenbaum, prowl of his memory for faces and names, was stopped on the street as he was hurry- ing to lunch by a man who held out a cordial! hand and shouted How're- you?” Mz. Dannenbaum was cordial, but he couldn't recognize the stranger. “You must pardon me," he sald, “My nilnd 1s full of business, and you're the last man I expected to see, and I just can't, for the life of me, recall your name." “Perkins,” eald the stranger. Again they shook hands warmly, put Mr. Dannenbaum didn't know Perkins After a few minutes of weather and other non-committal toples, he asked In. differently “Where are you located now?” ‘Same place,” said the stranger. “Been there forty years and expect to die there.” “Altoona, Bucyrus, Canton, Evans- ville, Frederick, Galliopolis, Henderson,” murmured Mr, Dannenbaum, running over an alphabet of en a see how it 1s," eaid the etrang- er, “I've raised a beard since 1 was here twenty years ago, I'm Perkins, of Lansing, Mich." ‘Mr, Dannenbaum lunched with a light- er heart, 4 ee J. Howard Van Amingé, dean and for- mer Acting President of Columbia Unl+ versity, thus addressed his class in sum veying some time ago: “Gentlemen, for elx long, weary months you have studied surveying un- der my tuition. Step by step you have advanced in knowledge until you have at last grasped the whole subject. And wherever they take their walks abroad, evidences of ex- pension quite beyond their ready comprehension, : wholly appreciate its phenomenal growth? It is a feat ; I { } k THE FERRY FUTURE. The Erie's plaus for new and better ferries to be reached by a bridge acruss the West street plaza and its further project of a tall office building at the Chambers street corner, taken in connection with the purchase of the Hoboken ferry by the Lackawanna and its letting of contracts for larger and more modern boats, point to fn improvement in North River ferry transit in the near future for which a large community of commuters will be duly thankful as for a boon long deferred. The Pennsylvania already having a satisfactory ferry service, there will soon he left only the Central of New Jersey and the West Shore with facilities inadequate to ‘the demand. For these, as for the other Hnes, double- decked boats will eventually be required to replace those now in use. They are already called for by considera- tions of comfort and convenience; they long ago became @ necessity, the delay of providing for which is not creditable to roads which, while keeping pace with other Progress in equipment, have been discreditably neglect- ful of this. f 3 BEES AND RHEUMATISM. “The city girl's solicitous inquiry of the farmer as to whether he kept a bee becomes of general concern in view of the discovery by Dr. Pere, of Marburg, that bee stings will cure rheumatism of the joints and muscles. This being the case, it is obvious that no househol? should be without its bee, which, In the hours it is off duty as a honey-maker, can be put to good account as “an animate anti-toxin for this very prevalent malady. Already regarded as one of the most useful and tudus- trious of living creatures, the hee !s evidently destined Dr. Pere’s experiments showed him that in an obsti- pate attack of rheumatism 6,952 stings were necessary, to effect a complete cure. This is at the rate of nearly twenty stings a day for a year—rather heroic treatment. ‘To stibmit to it proves the possession of an enviable y -Amiount of fortitude, : allopathic severity about it likely to make the pa- “fear that the remedy ts worse than the disease. Fhaps some man of science will proceed to subject bit or, guinea-pigs or horses to the etings and furnish Families.—It has remained for a Penn- Habor to intrdouce a bill "to subsidize large [ Provide for gold medals for tho mothers wilh require fifteen children to earn the $50, bhis act will hardly of itself be sut- ‘pace suicide.” A gold medal for the to come in for even more grateful praise. | he “Obviously, the prescription is not homoeopathic; there | flock of Httle ones 19 not a interest | s now, a6 we close, I have one parting bit of advice to give you: If you ever have any surveying to be done hire a profes- slonal surveyor to do it." Peery ‘Mannie’ Friend attempted to tile gome papers before Judge Cowing in General Sessions a few days ago when of the Assistant District-Attorneys that Friend had been ordered to file the papers on the day before. The Judge, addressing Friend, saad: “You were or- dered to file these papers yesterday, were you not?’ ‘Yes,"’ said Friend. “Then why do you seek to file them to- day? You are too late; they should have been filed, as ordered, yesterday. “Oh,” said Friend, ‘* is all righ Won't to-day be yester: to-morrow?" The Judge wilted; but Friend's papers were fled. When Elsie Lesiie was a “child ac- tress’ a friend of her mother one day said to her: “Dear, I'm glad to see you've learned while young to obey your mother.” “Oh, that was easy.” replied Elsie. “I'm very ‘quick study,’ you know." LETTERS, QUESTIONS, ANSWERS. Y To the RAiter of Th Was Bowling ( Evening World known as Bow! Ing Green prior to 1776) aU. To Save on Laundry Bills, To the Baitor of The Rveaing World IT would gladly contribute $10, and 1 belleve that 10,0 others would also, If | some swell guy or leader of fashion would start the movement to wear and approve ot wearing celluloid or rubber colara during the het summer months JAMES V. V ne World On what day of the week did May 6 186}. fall Au No 22 South ‘Third sweet, I No. To the Editor of The Evening World will position of Inape Custom-House—to which women are eligible—be HV, B Wants Sprinklea, Is thi y¥ Teason why ot aro not more sprinkled this s eumMclontly watered. c. B Apply to Board of Edocation. To the Editor of The Evening World Where can J obtain information re- garding the subjects to be studied for|reaches a point immedi. @ dish ee teacher? RM $OO000066690ODOOE4 OO OHHOOY troduced to a youth of the tribe christened by Mr. Carnegie “Raw Pork, Jr." The young man, wishing to appear conversant with music when Ps DAMROSCH was recently {n- , Mr. Damrosch, is that fellow “My dear young friend,’ answered he was inet with the objection of one! nt should be made | nostrils for or t, and tt would] Why {sa good should have | houso on fire? Beca' ou tap It with your] put out with a thin cut Paper a cross laying » turn down “IF NO ONE EVER.” each end of th so that the cross will aot s! Having thus fitte the glass and ¢ your led tt more ent may he made with | am in business on West One Hundrea | Suppose, ‘for insta and fwenty-fifth street, and so far j do} not consider that the street has been you rub your on the glass Just under one of the arms of the cross: will not move. the cross But rub it between any | two arms and the cross will begin to} turn slowly, as if by magic, got stop turning until one of the x and will ely over the place you are rubbing. lll baba ise “ad DEAR YOUNG FoukS | Free (ONE WHO 1S OLDER AND more EXPERIENCED THAN OURSELY! Tr Stew Nou TUS OUR CONDE ET MERE UNDER THE PUBLIC GAZE, . ly sete Noh te) SSE DANCING AVILION 1T_THe HOTEL: Pleasure-seekers’ brains were humming when the ecict was forthcoming, That Coney’s Sunday would be Greene, and therefore extra-dry. Dut folks seeking a libation found stray spots of irrigation A-waiting for the thirsty man with cash en THAT IT 1S MY PAINFUL BUTY As Csassi <<S Freie rence aceasta i HOTEL- i // MEALS 2 CENT. BrPnS ough to buy. EPELLHOHDLDIGHHLOLOIGOSOHH-LG0OOOL0E0O0OOHO0OOH 999993-099-FHIG99997959999IOO 7 OF. A h O90OOOG-9-90 BxTRA\/) 2 a) fA CONUNDRUMS. ing? Cut his nose off. ed by felloes (fellows). ‘e he gets another. What is the difference between is thrown to the air a sieve? F What is face (By a Bachelor, with Apologies.) F no one ever marries me~ | nad the: 1 some, And my purse is rather lean— If no one ever marries me, Vil get along all right— through, And at bridge the livetong night. the I shall have a little sailing yacht, And a motor all my own, dren's dills And when I'm eick of everything And dull ag dull can be some girl Who didn’t marry me, cacnts i eae | How can you keep a fish from smell- What is the difference between a young girl of sixteen and an old lady of eighty? One is careless and happy and the other {s hairless and cappy. What man mentioned in the Bible had no father? Joshua, the son of Nun Why is a pretty young lady lke a Wagon wheel? Because she ts surround- Why does a beggar wear a very short Because it may be long enough +Prince of Wales and the water of the fountain? One Js helr to the throne and Ich is the best way to hold water in Here is a very interesting little recrea- tlon which does not require much ap- paratus In order to present a scientific Set up the little struc- ture as shown fn the cut, a few small boards being sufficient for the construc- man hke xe is not catily| demonstration A BCD will be the floor; FG and oO upright pleces joined above to The hetght of the eces should be about 5 inches y should stand about 3 inches Into a block of wood about hi an Inch across and half an inch hig | stick a strong pin. Then place the block of the platform between ithe upright pleces; Into the crossplece the two plvots so formed will serve to hold the exe don't seem very keen, "t pretend I'm hand- insert another I shall play at golf the whole day through a small aperture L; then make two other openings little paper tubes, disposed as Indicated in the !ustration, Through the opening I Introduce a little cold water and close the opening with a piece of gummed paper and set your egg in position, pin points. The flame of a candle on a lamp burning feebly will set And 1 shan't be plagued with chil- For things that they've outgrown, I shall think how gtad I've made pressure to bear on the wide opposite an opening and a rotary motion is municated to the egg. Sauk —Punch, Some of the Best Jokes of the Day. PATENT PACK HORSE. ‘Now, children, what enimad is # sup- piles you with boots and gives you meat to eat?” , “Father !""—Philadelphia Bvening Bul- etin. PROOF OF THE PUDDING. “How is your daughter getting on with her music?” “Splendidly," answered Mrs, Oumrox. “She can go to a classical concert and tell exactly where to applaud without watching the rest of the audience.’’— Washington Star. PREPARE FOR THE WORST. He—Why not get married at once? Sne—Impossible! We haven't enough letters to make a decent showing in the divorce court.—Philadelphia Evening Bulletin. FLEE TO THE SOURCE, “Yes. I am golng as far into the woods as I can this summer.” “I didn't know you were so fond of nature.” “L'm not, but I want to see if I can't wet Away from the breakfast foods,""— Chicago Evening Post. QUIPS AND QUIRKS, The medical word revolves on its own axis, Age cannot wither nor custom etale paln’s infinite variety, Men who dock their horses should have their salaries docked. Age can never hope to know as much as youth thinks tt knows, Thanks are returned to ‘‘Toe-tal Stranger" for sympathy extended. In the matter of bad habits "Practice puts an edge on precept’ so that you can cut it out, says the Pittsburg Dis- patch. Dancing 1s a frivolous, not to say dis- graceful pastime to the thinking of the man who has @ sore toe. IN DEAR OLD OYSTER BAY. Visitors Find It Highly Rooseveltized. ay 'VE been all day over on Long Island looking for sum mer board, and I'm just tired,” said the lady when the waiter had taken away the soup. “Did you find a good place," her escort asked, to meke the conversation flow. “The most delightful place, but oh, have you ever been to Oyster Bay? It's so queer.” The tady neglected her fish to tell the tale. It was realig, good fish and the chef's decorations of partl-colored vege- tables did not spoil it. ‘Why, everybody in Oyster Bay knew President Roosevelt: when he was u boy. Every house in the place 1s full of relics | of his boyhood. One has a queer piece of leather with a few hairs still sticking to it. It's a rabbit skin, and the old lady said Roosevelt skinned the rabbit. She sald ‘he was always truthful, and he could skin rabbits beautiful.’ ‘There's an- other piace bas a cot he slept on when a boy and there were so many things he touched or sat on or did things to. He seams to have boarded around the whole place like an olf fashioned schoolmaster. One old lady eald the President's! mother was the most perfect Iady she ever saw, but she ldn't like his father, and Teddy takes after his father. “Must have been a hustler—the old man," sald her escort! between mouthfuls of entree. : “But, oh, the best thing! They all showed me and told) me about Roosevelt thinking that sort of thing would Induce me to take thelr rooms. One woman said she could offer ms, ‘superior inducements,’ and what do you think they were? A Roosevelt governess, a Roosevelt tutor and three Roose- velt maids board with ‘her every summer: “Is that your delightful place?” think they do,’ she sald. too killing. No, Oyster Bay is not the place for me.” THE TWO LACONICS. tion of being the most laconio man of his Burope. It then became known that a Hungarian, magnate, who was then at Carlebad taking the waters, was very abrupt and short in his manner of speech. So much so, that some even went so far as to suggest that he was to Fr ton cr t Il. OF PRUSSIA always had the repute. day in as terse and silent as the King of Prussia This came to Vrederick’s ears, 80 he determined down to Carlsbad to see his rival, and satisfy on the point of comparison which had been raised. magnate was pointed out to Frederick as he stood in- hall of his hotel. ‘The King went up to him, and the following conversatioy in monosyllaties was the result: ‘ Frederick—Bathing?’ (Hungarian—“Drinking!" Finderiok—“Omicer ?"" Hungerian—'Magnate!'* ‘Frederick—“#o!"* Hungarian (taking the initiative): “Detective?” Frederick—"King!” Hungarian—‘Congratulate: Judge between the merits of the two for the honor which they most desired. ON THE EVENING WORLD PEDESTAL. (A. BR. Piper, Second Deputy Commitaston: been trying to Introduce London methods in See Children! On our Pedestal Piper now strikes an attitude— ‘That earnest man who won renown By fetching home from London town Weir styles in dress which Greene turned down, ” int