The evening world. Newspaper, April 28, 1903, Page 12

by Park Row, New York. Entered at the at New York as Second-Class Mail Matter. —— VOLUME 4B........c00eeese002+ NO, 18,225. eS MR. JEROME'S VICTORY. “Al” Adams in Sing Sing, with every legal obstruc- tive expedient exhausted in vain, makes his conviction &n accomplished fact for which very great immediate | Sredit should go to District-Attorney Jerome. Fraise has previously been given Capt. Goddard for _ preparing the way for the conviction of Adams and making it possible, His anti-policy law, under which ~ the “Policy King” was found guilty, is in itself of sut- ficient importance to warrant the characterization of his east side reformatory work as one of the best public services recently performed by a private citizen. But this appreciation of Capt. Goddard need in no Way lessen our admiration of Mr. Jerome's work. There is credit onough to go around, In the prosecution and - conviction of Adams the District-Attorney has revealed himself at his best, giving us a somewhat rare glimpse of the Jerome the city honored iu electing him by a of force of character, the beau ideal of a reformer. Wejmey rememter with regret the promises left un- performed by Mr. Jerome—the, Wisker fidsco, a very ridiculous. mouse emerging from a mountain of obloquy heaped upon an offending railroad; the McAuliffe miz- carrizge of justice, the minor fallures to convict in pool- room and gambling-house cases, But in the successful prosecution of ‘Al’ Adams Proper praise is due the District-Attorney for a most ¢reditabie performance. THE APARTMENT-HOUSE FIRE. A large Riverside apartment-house of modern con- struction was burned out Sunday night under conditions that excited the amazement of thousands of spectators. For twenty minutes the flames belehed forth from the windows of an entire floor before a stream of water , Was dipected against them. ‘The few police on the acenc, Sor with the rescue qf the tenants, made no at- ‘temp? to establish fire lines and keep in check the crowd that impeded tho progress of the arriving engines and » trucks. As a result of these untoward circumstances, ' but expecially because of the absence of fire apparatus _ in the hopse, a blaze that should have been confined to -One apartment was permitted to eat its way through four floors. No blame is attaching to the Fire Department, and 7 Bone to the police; the.delay in the arrival of engines “and officers was clearly due to confusion in turning 4n the alarm. But.if the stories of tenants are true a very grave responsibility rests on some one for failing to provide the appliances by whicb the fire could have been oxtinguished at its start. Is this negligence to be charged up to proprictor or agent, or to the Tenement- Heuse Departnient or to Fire Headquarters? There should haye been a fire-alarm box in the main hall, and on alternate tloors up to the roof an axe and pike and fire extinguisher ready for instant use. Had &n extinguisher been at hand a cool-headed man could Very quickly have quenched the blaze made by the over- turned lamp. Failing that, an alarm box in the hall would have summoned the department within a few ainutes. After the burning of the Windsor Hotel, and again after the burning of the Park Avenue, there were some woeks of strenuous activity on the part of the authorities to enforce the law in the matter of fire-escapes and fire appliances. It is usually so, and then comes the Inevit- simple measures for safety overlooked. With the new lesson will there be a new period of ac- tivity? The last was directed to the. theatres and hotels; if there is to be another it should deal with the ‘“‘fire- proof” fashionable apartment, which houses many fam- ~ ilies whose safety at night 1s largely dependent in case ‘of emergency on the vigilance of a sleepy hallboy. INFLATED VALUES, Mr. Richard Strauss is celebrated both as a composer and a conducter. He has a name to the inherited lustre of which he has added some glints of his own. But few will believe that his serviecs as conductor are worth $1,000 a night to the Metropolitan Opera-House Com- pany, and there should be commendation for Mr, Con- / pled's firmness in refusing to pay him this exorbitant ; sum. It seems that very recently Mr. Strauss was neg>- tating for a remuneration of $250 a night, The American goose lays many a golden egg for the often made up the deficit for Mr. Irving's London thea- tre and given Bernhardt returns undreamed of in her ambition. {t has built innumerable castles and cha- THE » EVENING ARDENT ARCHIE AGAIN PROVES HOW UNSWERVING IS HIS LOVE. Yeading vote—an able prosecutor, a man of action and! < WATCH ME SHAKE ONG of THESE BARRELS one THE OLD JOKES’ HOME, Ry Roy L. McCardell, BACK Teves GVENINE ween (~) POIOOIISS +e: It you want a badge sond @ two-cent stamp to Prot. Josh M, A. Long. RHYME WIT HREASON IN 8PRING| SEASON, T summer {8 coming; we Hear its; vole in every whispering wind that blows, bidding tne weeping woods rejoice and waking to lfe and love the rose, ‘Come out!* Come out!” The chorus goes from humming dees and birds awing. Then plty the heart that callous grows and does not heed the songs they sing, The old jokes waken once again; they feel spring's sap within them stir. Forgot is every ache and pain; once more thelr wheels begin to whirr. ‘Tis wrong to let them! labor still, or with false strength at) large to roam, So capture them with right good will and send them to the Old Jokes’ Home, The 8. P. C. H. in vpringtime gay, its mighty power grants, Send for a badge without de- and call the busy ambulance, drawn by the famous chestnut steed, Joe-Miller, who a hyphen wears, who of crack of whip thas never need when old jokes to the home he bears, Be PIOSLOLIGISE ECF CETOOOOO STH HESS 36600606 Long! An Enemy of Old Dr, Prof. Jowh M. A, Long I protest against the continued tor- ture of the defenseless inmates of your Home by that fake, Old Dr. Lemonosky. | ¢ He $s testing his vile nostrums on the toothless old Jokes. Old Dr, Parkhurst should raid Old Dr. Lemonosky, His so-called liver pills are not made fresh every day, as the very best liver pills but are made of Hverwurst. JONAS JINGLEBY, (Not of the 8. P, C. H.) Sent in from Southold, L. L. Prof. Josh M. A, Long I received your badge O. K., and send you an old fellow to put in The Evening World's Old Jokes’ "Home. Why are casamere shawls like deaf people? Because you can't make them here (hear). CLARENCE CONKLIN, 8. P. C. H., 68 Lemonosky. OOOSSE: are, 4LA A BUNCH OF LOCAL ‘MAD MULLAHS.” AtOW STRE CLEA TTT Te te i, ae Ee ts oe 2200000000: TAMMANYS 4 LOCAL MAD MULLA SOME PORTRAITS OF THE CAN THE MAD MULLAH- ETS BE KEPT N WHEN THIS MAD Mu, i LL AH RUNS AROUND LOOSE? If you're looking for Mad Mullahs, they'll be found ‘neath other colors Than the-weird and woozy banner-folds that drape So-ma-li-land, For old Gotham—burg of gladness!—can produce more all-round madness WORLD'S # HOME MAD MULLAH 7 rey pry? 9890000009050: DDLDHHHDHH-HHHIHSIIFP HDS FS 0O66GGH9ODOGHOHHD 6O9O9G-0509000950 The Age Problem. To the Editor of The Evening World: CONUNDRUMS, ‘foreign celebrity, most of all the operatic artist. For a as Southold, L. 1, » And a bigger ba d the Mullah’s band, : ~ concert tour next season it is preparing to pay a dis- A etaeeDeanaeean - FOR 6 1OO0OO060ObdHis0000, | > tinguished basso $1,000 a night, the eame who not many LETTERS, IPDASEILIOPO DODO sal POPS LOC RIM ‘ years ago received $60 from the Paris Opera, It has QUESTIONS, multiplied song-bird salaries five and ten fold. It has ANSWERS. Some of the Best Jokes of the Day. Goa-Ga0=— Wao Uae eSATA OOOO UCCCOED SHAW’S FAMOUS POEM. ‘8 Popularity Makes Him Sad and Imitatora Are Numerous. HEN Secretary of the Treasury Leslie M. Shaw was Governor of Iowa he thought he was famous, fame was thrust upon him when President Reowevelt invited him Into the Cabinet, but the did not know the real article of fame until he wrote the following verse: 4Go ask papa,” the maiden said; He knew that her papa was dead; He knew the life her father led, And understood her when she sald: : “Go ask papa.’ ‘The lines have been so widely quoted that Mr, Ghaw wae asked how he happened to write them. In response te the note of inquiry he gent the following, which shows that finance has nc: wholly estranged him from the muse of youth: “Go ask papa," the maiden said; And now I wish that I were dead; ‘ ‘Yo writing jokes I was not bred; To indiscretion I was led, And think I must have lost my head | When I told what the maiden sald— af “Go ask her pa!” LESLIE M. SHAW, The sad tone of this delicate poem is probably due to the fact that lis mai! has been flooded with remaraable efforts hy reryens of high and low estate to imitate his in- comparably witty morceau. Below are given a number of verses which have been sent to Mr. Shaw ty persons whose names are more widely known than their poems. | “On, pshaw!"’ was all Depew would say | i When asked the author of the lay He quotes so often day by day. Wos it urbane of Chaunce to say: “Oh, Shaw?” CHAMP OLARK, Congreseman from Missouri, ‘They have a version in Chicago written by @ man who thinks he 1s a Presidential possibility, and Windy Cityans |” believe his verses the model on which Mr. Shaw based his ~ lines, but this has been disproved: T'll ask mamma," ghe coldly said. om A dozen times her ma had wed, ke Dakotaward the talk had led, \ And as she needed tips she said: “Til ask mamma.” fa ith these famous men, whose | } Mi ,, able Interim of inattention in which the dearly learned |e ein tale and some—Old $ CARTER HARRISON, lesson is forgotten and negligence in the adoption of] poctor Lemonosky and Prat. Josh M. A.' & ‘New York's Mayor, not to be outdone by a mere West- f erner, has given a sheet of notepaper to the following quip: “Go ask Odell."’ the boss replied When asked why heavily he sighed; One knew not. truly, what he shied When, cwnic-wise, the boss replied: “Go asic Odell.” 88TH LOW, Another famous contributor to the symposium is the most iamous New Yorker, Like Shaw, he hae dropped into poetry for the first time, and on reading Dr. Parkhuret's declaration that Jerome would gladly run for the offce of Czar of all the Russias he wrote: Bi “Go ask Jerome,” the preacher ead; ‘The Russians wanted to be led By one whose brain on red blood fed; “He'll take the Joby” the preacher said; “Go ask Jerome.” ” JOHN DOE, of New York, ON THE EVENING WORLD PEDESTAL. How can you make a tall man short? Borrow $10 of him, When does a bather capture a bird? When he takes a duck in the water Why should a cabman be trav None but the brave deserve the tal (fare). In two letters state the destiny of all earthly things, D K. Which {s the strongest day of week%, Bunday; all others are woek days. Why ts a gra! teaux in Europe, But that is why opera costs the New Yorker $5 a peat, or, at a gala performance such as last night's, $7. ‘It is a sum wholly out of proportion to the value re- * gelved, in spite of the fact that that value js greater ‘than at any European opera-house, The theory of a \<. Be0d price for a good article has its limitations. In answer to F. L. C.'s “age prob- jem: He saya A ts twice as old as B was when A was as old as B is now. A is 21. How old is B? B ia 16 years nine months. Solution: X equals the difference of their ages. According to the conditions of the problem B was 10 1-2 years old when A was B's pres- ent age. B was 101-2 when A was 10 1-3 years plus X. A's age now equals 21 years, B's age now equals 21 years minue X. A's age then equals 10 1-3 THE ONE FLAW. At last we're to be merried! With Joy my bosom thrills, To think that all ts settled— That ts, except the dills, “Philadelphia Public Ledger. THE REAL THING, “Tell me, Harold,” gentle old THE BARBERS’ BILL. The Arion Hal] meeting of barbers was outspoken tn our ideal rl?" of sand in the eye'like its indorsement of the Barbers’ bill, so-called, by the) years plus XA’ age then equais 2 a aghoniininnie rule? It hurts the e said, ¢ervently; “you're my provisions of which a greater assurance of cleaniinesy) Jere m Roe % y nS Me X equals pupil. ; will be given the customer; and the barber, because of |5 1-4, ‘Tho differencs of thelr ages. stuels What clty in Massachusetts {s blessed noly-oke. rs ipestore if A is 21 years What is fire? A noun with four let- ?. CAREY, Hoboken, t{ Marriage on $8 Week. To the Editor of The Evening Wo! In answer to D. C,, who asks if he ts justified in marrying on $ a week, my advice to him would be to give up the idea as soon as possible and wait until he ‘the registry fee and the examination for proof of compe- will find the standard of his shop raised by the d of regularity involved in these Innovations. ENTITLED TO CLEMENCY. The prisoner had been found guilty of ing six wive: eorge Washington Hockafus,” sald the Judge, “what have you to say why sentence of the Court should not be Pronounced upon you?" “Your Honor," reagonded the prisoner, is pal e jus ith indignation, bs in Shak alegre or havin’ & large family ?'— ibune, TAKING, Neli—I don't know how to take young Mr. Softleigh, epg has ad eked you tot FACTS IN THE CASE. Lawyer—What i# the plaincitt's atth Btete resembles a women’s gowni Now Jersey. What comes next to a cent? conta, When ie @ cow not & cow? When she ‘*wWhat'tparts of The teh weighs the Oe Two ms improvement in the general chava>er and stand-|he makes §# or $3 per week, Then M the business. There has been a minor instance of |™*Y start to think about Ce ial R recent enforced limitation of the push-car: fish “Thirty Yea: : re to quarters under the new bridge approach. An a ar of "| erly resented at firet has given them an es-) wife on sper week anloryt Re got | business and a respectability envied by other! sennc.. 1 speak from thirty years ‘ex: -mién to whom the order did not apply. (ey en Wallingford, ' Coin, ¥ re it ie om Near Thirty- shat sila seal bnd low-priced barber shop cope rg SB Ml el by the Barbers’ bill becoming & law. (55 aus waiter of Tas Broning World: 4 nd the use of antiseptics will’ Is the Theetre on Bross. ‘ 5 @ better grade of | ¥*” * th Cree, + Ee aly ‘Brening World: gait Rn most scales, ©ut out the silhouette figures and place them al! within the outlined space MAGIC MUSIC, {n uch @ way that none of them shall touch the edge of the space nor touch each other. country Chicago | Bay or girl counts two, | Lame person 1s fivo, Fat man counts fifteen Red-hatred girl counts twenty. Short man with tall woman counts GAME FOR SHUT-INS. ‘The players, one or more on a side, eit in @ window overlooking the side- walk at a time when people are passing