The evening world. Newspaper, April 14, 1903, Page 10

by the Press Publishing Company, No, 63 to 69 Row, New York. Entered at the Post-OMce New York as Second-Class Mail Matter. PIER AB. ...0..00cecsseeeeessNO. 16,211. RAINES HOTEL SUPPRESSION. “Bunday exolse activity among the police is not what ‘ ‘was, if we are to judge from Monday morning court . Apparently we are now in an Interval between ns of strenuousness for the closing of side doors. But the report of work done by the police during March for the suppression of illegal Raines law hotels ~)0n the east side is of far greater moment than a month's / returns of sfMle-door arrests. It is one of the most en- V wing balance sheets yet issued by the department, “It showe that elghty-seven such resorts were closed, ‘Many permanently, for non-compliance with the pro- ‘Visions of the law. It shows further that sixty-three | Stich hotels doing business as disorderly houses were ¥Yalded, with the net profit of a conviction of twenty pro- pri And there is the further gratifying showing of | forty-seven netices served upon property-owners to dis- disorderly tenants. ' This is a most admirable month's work. It is better one Raines law hotel with disorderly house adjuncts f w THE # EVENING w WORLD'S w HOME » MAG. 2S RRL RD, ‘ oe ee i Me Fa, 5 FOOLISH DHLG $O46--46OO000600 90084906, A ZF, Bhould be put out of business than that a score of] @ doors should be closed tight on Sunday. The fake that is really a disorderly house in disguise is a ession of actual crime, the best end to which-the de- ment’s activity can be directed. : ‘% Ineer Dead in the Cab.—Another engineer dead in his Ms ¥ tab while the train dashes on at accelerated speed until E checked by the fireman, too far in the rear to hear the Conductor's danger signal, but made awnre of something wrong by the lurching of the locomotive! This time the pProvidentially averted disaster was on the Baltimore and ‘Ohio, Last month it was on the Lackawanna. The Even- ing World recently printed a year's list of narrow escapes from train wrecks made possible by similar cases of the Sudden incapacity of the engincer. It made an alarming showing, the wonder of which was the good fortune which has preserved from destruction trains on the very brink of Gisaster. The list ns expanded by the addition of theso later instances of engineers killed in the cab makes a convincing argument for the presence af an extra man there in locomotives of the mogul type. THE VICIOUS EPIGRAM. _ A young women for a wager has composed a four-act Play in fifteen hours. As her quick-action drama con- tains 16,000 words, it represents a product of more than 1,000 words an hour, a feat in composition showing | wonderful facility and fluency. Probably it beats all play- writing records, which is a distinction, even if the drama in question is only words, words, words, like Hamlet's ' book, Possibly it is'a masterpiece. There {s no hard / and fast time limit for literary work. Goldsmith's “Vicar of Wakefield,” literally ‘dashed off,” lives on - With Gray's “Elegy Written in a Country Churchyard,” on which seven years of laborious finishing’ touches _ > Were put. ee A point of interest {n the play 1s its epigrams, which, yin! obedience to the rules of modern dramatic construo- ) Hon, abound, These two deserve especial comment: _) It takes at least six months to polish off en affair with @ married woman. Three months to persuade her to leave her husband, and three months to persuade her to leave the © man for whom she left her husband. T've read somewhere pr other that the path of virtue ts only for women with large feet. As dramatic epigrams go, these would seem to attain ithe Pinero and Jones standard of vicious excellence. "The recognized sneer at virtuo is there, tested by which if ring true to the Wilde traditions in thelr cynical rerness. You can almost hear the gloved applause of appreciation, beginning in the front rows.of the or- tra and rippling back with gathered force to the Seats of the family circle. But what a cheap and nasty cleverness it is, defiling ind fouling. When the moralist deplores its effect on Hthe sensitive mind of the Young Person there is the ‘ready retort that theatres are not for boys and girls. |Remember the moral lessons conveyed and overlook and se the risque method! It is a question whether vice in ugly realism on the )Ptage is not far less harmful than a society drama con- ) “tainihg occasional glittering phrases like these of false / sentiment which, while affronting a pure mind, are apt _ to sink into it and remain there, a corrupting presence. t THE BOON OF BORAX. In ap ficle on “Beneficent Borax,” The Evening World various instances of physical improvement ‘attributable to the use of this preservative in food. It found to lengthen life, bring the ruddy hue of health to anaemic cheeks, and round out the thin and ekinny fato a portiiness as pleasing to the eye as it was proof ‘positive of the good effects of the borax as a fiesh- former. The opinion was ventured that a cereal with / Dorax in it was an angel food entertained in disguise at the bresictast table. ‘aa t the merits of this salutary drug were not over i 4 proved by the report of Dr, Wiley’s diet ex- 2 at Washington. The young men who began ith apprebension the habitual use of food that had been treated with borax are now the envy of their com- pe A rosy hue has come into their cheeks, freckles sep blemishes have disappeared as if under a lotion, and the subjects of the experiment are “magic © good to Jook upon that pretty girls stare at them with teresa: andor, _ Apparently Dr. Wiley 1s the Ponce de Leon of the or Department, with this practical difference— instead of a far-off fountain of youth he offeru the d a complexion powder warranted to beautify and D and procurable by the poorest in purse. It is to few men #o confer go greet a boon on humanity, CIGARETTES AND BOYS. ‘vetoing « bill prohibiting the sale of cigarettes to der the age of sixteen Gov. Munphy is reported to 7 “Most boys at sixteen smoke, and generally for the use of tobacco by mankind ‘use by ungrown boys. The sight of a olgy ‘# boy's Ups is pleasant to no one; to a father atu. A truthful paternal autobiography might july nt of the smoking habit at an early ‘will confess that it was acquired “with- tobacco is @ poison; thet x teot, It i9 pe + baghg bige Hit in pros aay artes br THE OLD JOKES’ It you want a badge ond a two-cent stamp to Prot, Joab Of, A, Loni Captured by Badge Wearers. HH, now it ts Spring, with the birds on the wing and the buaz of tho bee called the bumble; and soon we will see frisking round on the lea the industrious bug known as Tumble. Our hearts Mill with hope as the women bile soap in quiet amd quaint country places, and now garden sass and ter sassafras for complexton prescriptions the case in, ‘There's goot in the range and the Jawn bas the mange, throug. the mud the suburbanite plehses, and from smell of trash-fires one nearly ex- pires as the rubber boot turns Into ashes. Oh, yes, it ts Spring, and the real proper thing is to say with firm resolution, “From now t!ll December let me be @ member of the 8. P. C. H. in- stitution, I'll no longer delay, but I'll wend right away for u dadge that au- thority grants to maike criticiema on old ritticiams and call for the blue ambu. lance!” A Jersey Job Lot. Prot, Josh M. A. Long: I inclose a few “Hawthornes" that date back to the story of a “Twice Told Tale: ‘Why is the devil always a gentleman? @ecause the imp of dankness can't be imp o' ght (impolite). Which is the most aesthetic street in New York? Twenty-first e@treet, because M bs too too (22), all but. ‘Where ts Minute atreet? Gixty-second etrect, Why is Houston street not 60 cold? Recause the next is Bleooker, When will there be twenty-five letters in the alghabet? When U and I are one. Why Js a bow-legged man like a holi- day in the Bouth’ Because you ses the negroes (knee grows) out. When will the streets of Boston be weil lald out? When they are-half as dead as those of Philadelphia. What river runs through Phitadel- phia Why, nothing ever.ran through Phile- delphi ‘Why does a bald-headed man never worry about there belng no more part- ing? Beoause for him ‘there {s no-hereafter (hair after). Why was old dog Tray not faithful? Because a dog that was faithful could not’ be Tray (betray). How many hairs ine cat's tall? None. They are all on the outside. ‘When does a vientist do his last filling ‘When he is buried he fille his Inst cavity, ‘Why Is the age of miracles not-pasued? Because « ripe tomato thrown im the atr comes down « equash, H, M. COWMDR, Jersey City, LETTERS, QUESTIONS, ANSWERS. 1800, To the-BGRer of The Brentng World: When was the last leap year? BB. Can‘He Marry on 98 a Week? To the K@kor of The @veming Wor I am @ young man of seventeen and am dearly in love with a girl of about ‘twenty, I wish to ask readers if they think Jt right for me to marry her now if she accepts my woolng? I am earn- ing # @ week and think I can support her on that. Don't you, readers? DBC Tucsday, ‘To ther Better of The Brening Workh: ‘On what day did Dee. 1, 1835, tallt Ie. P. Wear « Frock Butt, ‘To the WAltor of The Mrening World: MADAM, ALLOW ME To ASGIST You IN cna | YOUR YOUNG OFFSPRING - SUCH OVTIES ARE Too STRENUOUS FoR YouR Se TEDDY :— “ID LEAVE MY HAPPY HOME FOR you di ae JEROME ,- “THE D982 ODHOHO0-999O190 95440054 $6450560056600000060000006 MR. CHESTY GIVES A LESSON IN PUNISHMENT—AND RECEIVES ONE.’ SOO959 | AM AN ADVOCATE OF RADICAL CORPORAL CHASTISEMENT SUCH AS NEW Buizcy” PLATT :— “HERE COMES THE BOGIE MAN]” In civic Iife‘and national you'll find a meaning rational For song-titles that heretofore seemed only sentimental; And such titles seem to fit about themes that they were not writ about, In a way that seems too clever to be wholly accidental. POSLBDOOE9OGGG-94-99-990980-5005- 6000009900009 000900 O0H 04600060006 Some of the Best Jokes of the Day. THE REAL NEED. wThey say that laginess te caused by a germ. What 4 fine thing it would be if we could find something to kill the thing.” “Oh, no, T know something fnerthan that. Think how much plcer it mould ‘be ff we could all find eome way to gratify 1t.'"—Chicago Reoord-Herald. IT JOLTED HER, ‘There onoo dignitied mme, Who “biked'’ on @ road of macme; When lo! by mistake, A rough road she did take, And immediately thought that she nme. ~Columbia Jester, A NEW BOSS, Backlote—Newmen has soid bis house, I understand, Subbubs—Nonsense! Hacklots—Why, he told me this morn: dng that be didn't own tt any more. Subbubs—No; they engagéd a servant girl @ fow'days ago—Philadelphia Press, HIS EXPERIENCE. Bingleton—A soleatinic*writer & man {# ehorter during th he ts at night. Do you believe st? Wederly—Yes; least & married man is, Fis wife usually goes through his pogkets in the early morn.—Chi- cago News. * OPPOSITE ROLES. GAME OF “| SUSPECT.” ‘The gume«may be played by any num- ber of persons, As soon as the cards have Deen dealt and the players have examined their handa the one on the left of the dealer plays the lowest cand he has (the ace counting lowest), He must place the card face downward on the table, at the eame time calling out what st ta. ‘The next player also puts « card face downward and calls the next number. Bor instance, tf No, 1 puts down a card one, No, 3 says two, No, 3 80.0n, It 18 not necessary for ¢he card lati down to be actually the one cailed out, The fun of the game is to put down the wrong card without any one er thinks gnother the wrong card be says: ‘1 suspect you. The player must thon show his cara, and if M should not be the one he said he must take all the cards laid down and add them to his pack. if, now- ever, the card happens to be the right one, then the accused must take (he ‘The who Tirst te ting FSP nis cards wins the’ game. —— UALIFYING IT, “AS the same time you do not contend |. hy ect sd ‘ i 5 Bh ari Moony ‘The picture represents the name of a Violinist, ee PRACTICED BY THE OLO TIME SCHOOL-MASTER +7, THOSE WEDDIN SELLS SHALL Oe RING OvuT fj B2DDOGSD $00O96240000969666 o> F 3.0.5-09909909995-95-09G 06-6646.90-9900-.090-0000O096 90000806 CONUNDRUMS, Which are the most seaponable clothes? Pepper and salt. ‘Why ts a nabob like a beggur? He is 20 Indfa gent (indigent), Woy ts « lead pencil Mke a perverse obtld? It never does right (write) of itaeit, Why t the letter R a profitable letter? Because it makes ice into rice. ‘Wihen is the soup likely to run out of the saucepan? When there's a leek fleak) tn it. What ganien crop would save drain- ing? Leeks, What kind of a face does an auctioneer Uke best? One that ts for-bidding. If I were in the un and you out of it what would the syn become? Bin, When 18 @ cow not @ cow? When she's turned into pasture. Why is @ room full of married ladies Hike an empty one? Because there isn't 4 eingle one in ie. Wheo does an engine chew tobacco? Wihen it goes chew chew to go on and chew chew to back her, What do you have to get taken from ou before you get it? Your picture » ‘What two setters in the alphabet are the furthest apart? 8 and d, because there ts always e mile between them ta OOSOO4: vou BREAK A be KID'S BACK | Ore A NOUR HEAD-A THAT REMARKABLE WILLIAM PEASELY. A Few Further Disclosures of His Genius.’ (By Wireless Telegraphy.) OZPMAN, Mont., Yesterday.—Your correspondent ha® another Interview with that comarkable individual, Willlam Peasely, known ‘here not as plain “Bi,” ‘ae We erroneously reported, but as “Old Bull.” In my reoén® communications I dwelt upon the excitement caused ‘by the discovery by Mr. Peasely of the famous Yellowstone Paris corned beef mine, and also mentioned his great irrigation scheme of moistening arid lands with tears from weeping, willow trees. The more your correspondent sees of Willlam Peasély,, known there as “Old Bill," the more is the énpressed wittsl this wonderful man, an inventor (as well as a discoverer) bes side woom the vaunted conceptions of Marconi, Tesie, Weste lnghouse, Edison, Wett and Ericsson seem as the ideas uf the feeble-minded. It appears, according to Mr. Peasely’s own statemente, that he made many blds for fortune before, by mere chanpe, the discovery of his corned beef mine made him rich beyond the dreams of avarice. One of his greatest inventions, ané yet a simple thing, wus a self-tying shoestring. ‘This won- derful invention was @ great boon to fat men, and Mr. Peasely was congratulating himself upon the fortune that seemed to be within his gmsp. By a process known only, lo himself Mr, Peasely manufactured the self-tying ehoest out of a composition of dried apples and wool. By letting a drop of water fall upon the string it promptly tled itself Into a handsome bow-knot. Tho self-tying shoestring, for: some inexplicable reason, was regarded with great disfavor by women, especially summer girls. Thelr animosity drove it from the market, and, in consequence, they are still come pelled to call upon their escorts to tle thelr shoes a dosen times a day. But, as Mr. Peasely, known here ag “Old Bill,*! quaintly remarks, “Dad rile them! That's Jest Uke the wime men!" Mr. Peasely, as may be gleaned from his local title of “Old Bill,”* is an old settler, although one resident here, the general-store keeper, denies he ever settled here or any~ where else—but this {s the breath of envy—and he has haa many perilous encounters with the cedskins—one in partiou= lar so remarkabie that I leave it for my next commmuntcm tion, The West Is a wonderful country! : ROY L. M'CARDBLL, Special Commisstonen, MME. MELBA’S JEWELS, It is said that Mme. Melba has with her in Australia £200,000 worth of jewelry, and this large fortune in small , bulk necessitates the employment of four~ policemen each | ulght to guard {t. The prime donna pays the Police Des | partment 10 ehillings a day for each man she employs to guard her diamonds and pearis. ON THE EVENING WORLD PEDESTAL.