The evening world. Newspaper, February 23, 1903, Page 8

wit ‘by the Press Publishing Company, No. 88 to 62 Park Row, New York, Entered at the Post-Omce at New York as Second-Claes Mall Mniter. «NO, 168,161. VOLUME 48.......... THE HUMAN WASHINGTON. | ‘Washington looms so large in the historical perspec- $ -yttve that we have come to invest him with the attributes ‘ot a.demigod. We look upon him as a figure of extra- _ size—greater both in war and statesmanship than "any of his contemporaries and a man towering above all men of his time at home or abroad in nobility of mind and dignity of character. It is not only the idealist who so regards him; the im- _ “partial critic, disposed not to gloss his faults or to ex- _ ‘tentiate his failings, confirms the view. _ Yet the real Washington was a very human man, -gmong them, an integral factor of their life, and only gradually removed from them by force of the circum- ‘wtances of great and trying responsibility which produced juraged close intimacy. » He was first of all an unusually fine physical man, and soldier and by the devotion to open-air sports which jhe never permitted to flag. je to order. simply (at his fifst official dinner as President, at the Foreign Ministors and all the notables of New York and of the Administration were present, his own . of moral character. 1) He was given to fits of temper that sometimes stepped his contro], as when he threw a lead inkstand at é . offending soldier's head. He was hospitable in the extreme, as shown by his Aetter to a friend saying, “Dine with us, or we shall do : ‘we have not done for twenty years—dine alone.” ) “He was full of pity, as when at the Battle of Long “What brave fellows 1 must lose to-day!” Great as he was and is, he was the object of unexam- | personal abuse. His enemies accused him of inca- oat # embezzlement of public funds while President. They Bi igttacked him, to quote his own words, in “terms so ex- ‘aggerated and indecent as could scarcely be applied to Nero, e notorious defaulter or a common pickpocket.” ‘wrung from him the confession that be “would rather be in his grave than In the Presidency!” _ wave been said of the successful leader of the world's “prentest struggle for liberty, of the statesman who gave _ She new republic rank among the nations of Europe? wn towered so high and give us glimpses of the fuggle he must have undergone to preserve that con- occur to us first {n thinking of him and which ‘distinguish him above his greatness in war or states- LATE IN LEARNING. Bpeaking of the proposed new routes of underground | “a Chief Engineer Parsons is reported to have sald: a 2 oR We can build eubways now in the heart of the most con- fested sections of this city with the least inconventence to ‘the travelling public. Our experience in butliding the main way tunnels has taught us just what to do and Just What not to do. We can ibutid the proposed tunnel under Broadway with so little inconvenience that the public will | not notice it. » It is knowledge rather slow in the learning, but we “woay feel glad that it is at last acquired. The memory of “the mining-camp conditions with which the city was forced to put up will long be a nightmare. It was be- that the engineering skill which could calculate ‘eens of the two sections of the tunnel under Park and figure out their union to the fraction “ef an inch could have provided for the excavation of the riginal supway with the “‘little inconventence’ Mr, . Parsons promises for the new. And the belief fs still ‘<shmaal by some admirers of that vast engineering it. jAmerican-Made Io! yf made in E ‘They say that the Turk's fez ie land, and there Is no doubt that some Orien- iS tal rugs are the product of German lo But tt has *been left for a Philadelphia firm to manufacture Buddhiat _ {dole for Corea, Some day we may make muinmies for Bntique Egyptian tombs, ay MEDICAL EXPERIMENTATION. ell-quick remedy to medicine, fisHere we have formalin, widely vaunted as a specif ° Plood poisoning, following in the wake of other fall “hfes. But yesterday lifted out of its quiet nook in the It 1s #0 soon done for that we should wonder what it Fi begun for {f we did not recall a score of Ike pre- “mature exploitations of drugs as panaceas for an ailing Brown-Sequard elixir from France, the Koch lymph Germany, the triturated goat-brains and attenuated of rabbit serum that were our own domestic to this fund of curative failures? ‘fa mot to discredit the painstaking laboratory @ investigating medical scientist seeking new in drugs and devising new prescriptional for- To him we owe tho present portly proportions United States Dispensatory. But of unsubstantial theorles, putfed up Mke balloons and collapsing 5 et standing not aloof and apart from his fellow-men on the | +, “Medestal where we have since placed him, but living | > “sobriety stopping just short of sadness” in him that] 2 made 80 by the outdoor activity of his days as surveyor | 2. |. He was large in physical stature as in mind, He wore ° ‘boots and a glove so large that it had to be} % He ate a great quantity of food, yet |$0960000O66SO8OOGG8 RH 969" fmeal was composed of boiled mutton and a glass of wine), |. ‘He was a man of strong passions, well governed by his |° ‘fisiana he was seen wringing his hands and crying out, {ine gacity as a general, of treason, of usurpation of power, }ment for the inmates will be given In the i) ‘They maligned his name so disgracefully that they | pany. _ om Is it concelvable to us now that such things should { Reunion. ‘They reveal the limitations of mind above which his | Russel! Sag tate dignity of personality and nobility of character | Dooley. As the get-rich-quick scheme is to finance so is the} * aba aba and given public honors as one of the js wonderful of remedial agents, and to-day discarded. | Where are these remedies of yeaster-year? Where is\"" $:5244900044SO00O4606008896-0835D468800004G604.0000508 6495645948410 OEODD994080E0EEROALEAGDIEREDODDSD HO6 THE TWO JOLLY TARS GO THE SOCIAL PACE THAT KILLS--BY HERRIMAN. z NOW Bt SHOWED.) AT-TOO: BER ME TA oe MER net, SHOW i VE Me TAT-T00) ‘ AJ : SO.GLAD Youve ; COME Ze. MY TEA~ PAI @ on 2 3 Of OCEAN. BREEDES, 4 3 3 3 ® 4 THE OLD JOKES’ HOME, By Roy L. McCardell. HE First Annual Outing and Games of the Inmates of the Old Jokes’ Home will take place April 1. LG RMROEORERD DOSES TFDLEDEDHEADMDAEETMOED 6600000000OOOH SHOW HER CANNIBLES BIT VER Croquet grounds will be lald out, and the mild cases will be permitted to choose their own partners. A ping-pong table has been put up in ent ware. In short, we are doing everything por aible to make the old jokes at the home happy and comfortable. Next Wednesday evening an entertain- ynasium. The following talent has kindly volun- teered their services for the occasion: ‘The Swiss Bell Ringers. ‘The Ideal Uncle Tom's Cabin Com- Joseph Jefferson in bits from his new play, "Rip Van Winkle." Marshall P, Wilder tn‘ the Old Jokes’ Fantasuc Nonsense Story, “How a Newspaper Man Once Went to the New York Press Club," by Wilton Lackaye. Song, “Down in Poverty Row,” by FOR THE “RUBBERN Iteoitation, “Casey at the Bat,” by De 1S THE Wolf Hopper. So “Thomas Seabrooke,” SORRY, SIR Bur THE GASOLINE GAVE our!) by Mr. 4 CONFOUNDED’ Incidental Muse. MACHINE AP Pry Intermeszo from “Cavalleria Rusti- OORs Va cana.” Overture from “William Tel ‘The “Miverere” from “Il Trovatore,”” ‘This programme {e printed that by eo doing we can again refute the sian~ derous reports that we never allow the| © old jokes to see their friends or that we are at all harsh in our restraint. ® We do everything possible to make the | time pass pleasantly for the inmates of| { The Old Jokes’ Home, tut, under no circumstances, will we permit the brutal game of chess to be played on the prem- ises. LATE ARRIVALS, Schmidt's Job Lot, Prof, Josh M.A. Long Pat—Suy, give me a yard of milk, $ (@mart Grocer takes dipper and pours along the counter one yard of milk.) Pat—That's Ane; now wrap it up for me, EVER Swe rHovaNnrd O| % arm SANDWICH HE A Why 1# an engine like tobacco? Because {t goes Choo! choo! to go for- wird and Choo! choo! (tobacco) te back her, Did you hear the explosion last night? No, ‘Phe wind blew ap the Bast River. JOHN SOHMIDT, No. 68 South street Prot Josh M.A. Long: Please give these overworked jokes beds in your home. ‘They are tired and so are Wet A countryman In # restaurant ordered rot ham, \d the walter bawled to! « + ge dial | 3. purpose of inducing chronic debtors to “make good.” “One lamb!" FE POD DOH-DHIDHIHODDD ODODE GHEE DODO HIGH News Item, T° BE VSED ON YOUR WAY [FO AND FROM YOUR OFFICE. PODODHON® H46E8 OFLTHE TOWN. A yellow automobile, bearing in large letters some such legend as “Bad Debts Collected,” may be sent out by a collecting agency for the > DRDO EEDODOIOREDERE OIODOSSIHEG OSEDGOOOOS 00-00- MATE. 00-00, 8900 BEOHOGOHD4S9OO08OO00O0O08 THE RIGHT HUSBAND, How to Tell Him from Other Suitors, By Harriet Hubbard Ayer. I HAVE received the following letter: Deer Mra. Ayer: How can you tell you are choosing the right husbas@? No woman ever knows a man really until after she bas mage ried him, Do you think we marry the wrong man, as we certainly are continually doing, for the privilege af repent~ ing in bitter tears for the rest of our lives? I am one of the unhappy wives, : I married for love, just as you would have a woman Ga My husband was as good as the average young man, 60 far ay [ knew. 1 am twenty-five years old and the wretched wife of @ periodical drunkard, who neglects me when he ts sober aad abuses me when he Is intoxicated. What about me, and thousands like me? What aia we * gain by marrying for love? i ONE OF THE MISPRABL@S, — Your letter put emphasizes the protest I have so oftel. repeated in this column against the marriage of a goody sweet girl with a man whose character she {6 not fully ae auainted with—whose habits do not command her complete respect and approval. 3 It will not do to include in true love marriages the unten of the best and sweetest girl in the world with @ young man “as good as the average.” If you had known your fiance was a perlodical lunatic and when sane was brutal and selfish you could not, if you are a girl with any aelf-res spect, have selected such a man for your nearest and dear« est friend and companion for life. white HOUSE, MAN? As a matter of fact, you never have loved the real mes SPALL POR INSIDE! you married. q tf Douhtlegs like many and many another, and fhe satd hiss tory goes on repeating ttxelf day by di you married @ young fellow who physically attracted you sn etrongly thet you endowed him with the attributes you wished him ta possess, 3 ‘The man as he {# you never suspected at all. af! ‘The ideal this man represented 1s what captivated yous | girlish fancy. It frequently happens that a man utterly unfit for the reaponsibilltles of marriage, totally unfit for the society of = refined and sweet girl, 48 possessed of a handsome face, an attractive figure and a fascinating manner with women. _ But before a woman promises to be the wife of a mam It !s her duty to learn al! about him, Many girls have told me they never found out their busy: bands were dissipated or dishonest or improviderit before >| marriage, because 1t was so mean to go about inquiring into 2 man's affairs they never could bring themselves to #t. ‘This Is a false view of the matter and unt! girls realise that the most serfous obligation of Mfe should exact the most rigorous investigation on both sides there will be tr Increasing numbers wives who are as miserable as you. The t!me to find out whether a man's habits are good and * his tastes congonti1 Js during your earty acquaintance with | him. ‘That Is the time to @ind out i your fancy for @ man's | | looks 1s indorsed by his lifes history, If I buy a good looking house because T like the way #0 looks from the outslde—never having examined It within and later discover that it is decayed, unsanitary, unsafe te live in, perilous to health as well as most uncomfortable dally existence, T can only blame myself, It was my bipt= ness to examine that house before eequiring tt and It was my duty to my chtidren to protect them from the danges! and discomfort of such a home, If cach girl would scrutinize her prospective husband's. character as carefully as she would a pair of sh noting not only the appearance but the quality on tig character or leather, {ts wearing capacities, Its posslbilitles’ for cracking or nolse—wé should not have 6o many letters from unhappy wives. } °| Tom indeed sorry for the insane woman who marries ® man that she knows ts a drunkard or a profilgate, But she for whom my heart aches is the girl who through @ false notion of loyalty or through her boundless trust, her inex. | perlence in the world's ways, fails to know anything of the real man to whom she gives her all. No, my dear, I don't think you purposely married the! wrong man. 6006 ONT WANT \ Yoy Come NEAR Groat Boott!” cried the countryman, ‘I can't eat no hull lamb. Gimme some [Pein ae, on wae, \eome Of the. Beat Jokes of the Day. “Well, Methusllah’s ghost! one friend HIS EXPERIENCE, oyster hain't golng to be enough, Gimme @ dosen, Darn these efty eatin’ Miles—Shortieigh is making yvtolent loye (o that homely heiress, He almost places." WILAAAM B, CLA equoezed the breath out of her when they TIRELESS DANCERS, "ee ee ‘Taken from a Tailor Shop, rot, Joss M.A, Long: Kindly see that vhis old joke has a place of rest at the Old Jokes’ Home: | ‘vere waiting together, Wanted, in a tatlor shop, © young| Gites-—Poor girl! She has my sympa- lady, weighing 90 pounds, to press] iy pants H. EB. CURTIS. | Mites Because why? Giles--Becuuse I have been herd Sent In from the Country, Prof. Josh M. A Looe 1 send the following from old Ulater for admission into your home for indi Kent jokes. ‘They ave kind of betwixt and between, ‘Taink they will earn thelr bourd and lodging, with washing and froning thrown in, by waiting on the preased for money myself.—Chicago News, A FATAL WEAKNESS, Casey--Did ye hear about poor Man y~Sorra the word. Casey-Shure, the big atame hammer “air, the public has had too many. By reason e deception it is coming to subscribe to Edi- ‘BS published in The World's New Year's 01 ¢ performing bolder operations than soW more about the human frame and h, not giving medicine nowads learning that a proper diet is formerly. WIO care YS a8 thoy better than age » Ierome’# crusade Against mone, excemsive interest ie a good thing, 4 tet fee than six per cent, ifegal, baa np toe metbods for clroumventing the d or to pay| How did Goliath pass into unconscious. more infirm jokes, What is the first girl mentioned tn the Bible? Genesis, in the foundry dropped on dis chist an Killed him, Cussidy—Well, Ol'm not surprised, ~ for he always had @ wake ohist,—Phila- ey dies, what do the|deiphia Press. ‘They, #o black: bury TOO STINGY. Casey~Av all the close-Asted ould misers that tver Ol see Dolan's the worst, * When one da ovher darkies do? ing. tn the dlagr each of the } sum camphe sealing wax, If the placed on the surta Why 48 1t dangerous to make love in corks are the country? Hecause the potatoes have| "2 ; ‘ dye » ‘te the & y eyes and the earn ears, the beanstalk] pomy om “He the family trait wid and the bullrushes out, r for several days. ‘The be made more amusing by two Mitle figure! ing couple, 40 the central cork, Thi vent washed carefully bef ‘he family trait? No What does & whip weigh? She weighs i anchor, alone a family CINDERELLA REVISED, Ciadereila’ falry #odmother had changed (he pumpkin into « coagh, But be) entisied, ness? David rocked him to sleep, isenare. M9 2s tr ty @ an) Five pleces of cork are fastened to- aether with needles or wires as shown Mm, and to the right side of Her corks @ small plece is fastened by means of (he water they will turn in the direotion of the arrow speriment may atiaching representing a Waltz Amaltest trace of grease will pre- motion. The hands should be making the apr paretus and if it still refudes to work It HOME FUN FOR WINTER EVENINGS. | el CONUNDRUMS, Why shouM @ man named Ben marry a girl named Annie? Because he would be Benny-ftted and she would be Annie- mated, What sailor? abont, What is the difference between # honeycomb and a honeymoon? One 1s made wp of many cells, the other is one great sell. If you were on top of Trinity steeple, how would you get down? Off @ duck's bagK, Why won't the Americans allow the burlal of President Roosevelt in West- minster Abbey? ‘He ian't dead yet. Why are bakers very self-denial peo- ple? Bocaiie they seli what they knead (need) themselves How did Jonwh fecl when the whale swallowed him? Down In the mouth, worse than raining cats and cabs and omnibuses, rs would be subject Shooting stars, The middle wind would please a hungry One that blows foul and chops Wnhich of to the Kame What ls a waist of time? of an hour glass. When ls a hat not a hat? When it becomes @ pretty lady, Why (s @ doctor never seasick? Pe- cause he is used (0 poe slokners. Wha the board of education? The schoolmasters shingle. — g Why did the people hail King Bdward ne Ne a signin , 4 thee ont Far from ft, T think you were deceived by your husband or you deceived yourself as to his character and habits. In cither case St fs & sad enough history. What about you in fact? This much of hopefulness: ‘The drink habit can be cured If the man wishes to be « sane, normal, self-respecting man again. A ‘Phere is not the slightest doubt, and any amount of incon~ testable evidence, that drunkenness ts @ disease and fs cur- able whenever the patient wills ¢t. ‘A man who drinks periodically cannot be eald.to be evs in a perfectly normal state, Liquor in ts after effects ts destructive to the nerven, and nervous wrecks are rarély amtable companions. You) }fusband well would be quite another man, Can't you get him to etop drinking? ‘Ask yourself not how you came fo marry him—it (s too late for that—but what he married you for. What were the qualities that made you the most ettrae- tive of women to him? Can't you re-exert them in his bey 1? oer you the heart to try to win back not the ideal you worshipped—that cannot be-but the man who stood for that {deal {n your romantic young tmaginatton. 7 The greatest earthly happiness comes from doing ones obvious duty, Your duty Hes in such an effort, T do not think any Woman should live wifi a man who te an habitual druukerd. T belleve a woman who goes out into the world to struggle for her daily bread rather than remain the companion of an tnebriate and the,-posalble mother of @ drunkard’s offspring Is worthy of honor and respect. ‘ But when you marriet Uits man it was Hike buying the house from an outside view, ‘Don't tear the whole structure to bits until you have cone ourself it 's beyond repair, een own duty, Never mind how much your tnusbana han neglected his. ‘That haa nothing to do with your position tn the mattet, An to your question; What did I an@ thousands of others gain by marrying for love? My poor child, you didn't marry for love. X BALANCE AN EGG ON BOTTLE’S BRIM, To balance q fresh egg on the rim of the neck of a boitle ix a feat with a cork and two forks, Make a alight hol- low in one end of the cork, Push into the cork the prongs of two forks as near As you can judge oppasite each other on either side, at the end away from the hollow. To tewt them place the hol- low end of the vork on the finger end; it the forks hang unequally, you muat push one deeper umdl they are p | eomeme