The evening world. Newspaper, February 12, 1903, Page 10

Published by the Press Publishing Company, No. 53 to @ Park Row, Now York. Bntered at the Post-OMoe at New York as Seoond-Class Mali Matter, SASSO AS SNe VOLUME A8S..........00.000000055-NO. 18,150. —— THE GRIME OF CHILDLESSNESS. The letter of Prosident Roosevelt to Mra, Van Vorst om the shirking of matrimonial obligations is fn effect @B unofficial message to the nation more important than | § Gay be has commmnicated officially to Congress. The Ohief Magistrate of this great Republic in the combined role of sociologist and censor {s unique among} { modern executives, and what he says 1s necessarily | ‘ Worthy of national attention. The President's reproot is admittedly denerved, As} 2 “ moraltsts show us periodically, as they showed only yes- terday, and as was long ago learned from census returns and vital statistics, the birth rate of native-born Ameri- cans has decreased with alarming diminution until with the present generation it has reached the danger mark. | ‘ From the large families of our Pligrim ancestors to the childless households of to-day there has been a progres- alive decline of paternal responsibility which is every- where deplored and reprobated by the pulpit and plat- form, and nowhere more than in the Romanist churches. We are accustomed to look upon France as the worst national offender tn this matter of a decreased birth rate. ‘Yet in France, by the census of 1880, there were twenty- seven births to every ten marriages, while among the Harvard classes cited by President Dliot the average is only two children to a family. But what is to be done about it? Are families to be increased at the request of even a President? Is not the small family a wholly natuval social development—a characteristic feature of national progress? Has it not been true of all nations that increase of wealth has brought decrease of children, in Belgravia as well as in Fifth avenue, and that the higher the state of individ- ual culture the lower the birth rate? We do not need President Eliot's statistics of Har yard classes to know that the highly educated shirk the responsibilities of paternity. We do not need to know that 28 per cent. of President Roosevelt's own class by their neglect to marry are “criminals” within the cate- gory of his term of reproach. These added facts merely confirm and corroborate general observation. THE OLD JOKES’ HOME, Visitors’ days at the Old Jokes’ Home will be every other @ay. As goon as the weather gete a little milder we will let the more stalwart of the ol4 jokes out on the grounds in the care of at- tendants. Visttore will be welcome, but are re- quested not to annoy or feed the jokes. All are invited to inspect the farm attached to the home. We have here the famous chicken that crossed the road, the two pigs under the @ate thet make more noise than one pig similarly aituated, the goat that would not eat a Tubber boot becuse he never chewed gum, the two donkeys whose photo- graph inacribed “When Shall We Three Meet Again?” that have been household pes for many years; the cow that was Kissed by the old lady, who remarked, “Bvery one to their taste; the orow who never opened his mouth without caws, the fooster whose mother laid The hope of the nation in this as in al] other things|him in the shmde, the faithful olf dog where the rich are remiss is in the so-called middle|with @ wn oan tied to his tail which class, the plain people. Among them, by the census ‘of 1900, there is a larger proportion of married males and was “bound to ® our,” and many other pedigreed livestock jolces. The nursery for children's jokes has females over the age of fifteen than there was in 1890.!peen enlarged. Send im the enfant ter- ‘This indicates both earlier and more numerous mar-|ribles; we will take good care of them. riages and is an encouraging sign worth noting as against President Wifot’s restricted college stat{stics and fm connection with President Roosevelt's warning. MRS. VANDERBILT'S PARASOL. As the Southern Railway's “Palm Limited” thun-/ A Worn Out Theologian. Prot, Josh M. A. Long: Plense send for this one “Why do the members of the Salvd- tion Army walk on their heels?" Answer: "To save thelr souls,” C. G., No. 61 West 2th street. Put to Work in Home's Kitchen, dered by a cross-roads station in Georgia tho engineer | Prot. Josh Of, A. Long caught sight of a young woman frantically waving her) parasol to him to stop. He smiled indulgently out of| the cab window, tmoreased his speed to nearly a mile a minute and made Hardeeville, twenty-five miles beyond, on schedule time, There an unprecedented train order as delivered to him in obedience to which he backed! his train cautiously over the rails to Pineville, picked up the lady with the parasol and her husband and once Here are « few jokes that have been wortding overtime: 1.—Wanted in a restaurant, a man with a wooden leg to mash potatoes. 2—Wanted tn @ bakery, a well-bread boy; no loafing around; will get his dough every Saturday night. HOWARD C, WDAVER, No, &47 Amsterdam avenue, Doemn!t Want to Come In. more made Herdeeville, an hour and a half late. Prot, Joah M, A. Long: It was the name of Vanderbilt that had done this re- IL am one of the oldest jokes extant, markable thing in raflroading and enabled a woman's, “"4 I feel as frisky os a two-year-old, Cheer up, my brother and atster old parasol to turn a raflway’s crack express {nto AN &O-| jo:e9; Why think of # homet com; lation train. was deemed worth reporting In the news of the day that a Mmited train for Washington had been held fifteen minutes in Jersey City to accommodate a rallway president on his way to President Roosevelt's coal-strike | conference. But that was an episode to which the stop- ping of the Palm Limited was an event. If locomotives talk, as Mr. Kipling made them in his story of ‘'.003,” the reflections of this crestfallen flyer would be in- teresting. Woman is nowadays more than ever an !mportant fac- tor in passenger travel on American railroads, The Pull- man Company finds her profitably so in her fondness for private cars. A palace car of her own has come to be to a woman of wealth who travels to any extent what her carriege is in town, This ts one of the rea- sons why it is frequently so difficult to hire a Pullman without giving the company notice ahead. The supply is not always equal to the demand. The change in the forty years since Mrs. Abraham Iincoln and a party of ladies blazed the way, as it were, for her sex’s use of sleeping cars by her historic trip from Albany to New York is accentuated by the incident of Mra, Vanderbilt's! parasol, TWEED AS A BENEFACTOR, Washington, which once had no term of reproach too severe to apply to “Boss” Shepherd, now holds him in the highest esteem for the change he wrought in transforming the national capital into one of the most beautiful of citfes. He found 1t mud and left it brown- stone and asphalt. And now in New York we have Architect Lamb praising the once-reprobated Tweed for similar reasons. “Call the roll of the citizen who has done most for the beautification of New York, and whose name do you call?” asks Mr, Lamb. ‘He died in prison and his name was ‘Bill’ Tweed.” weed came high but remembering ) Riverside Drive and certain parts of Central Park are we to feel glad that we had to have him? Bince Tweed's day bonesty, coupled with artistic Mediocrity, has given us a city that is not fair to look Mpon, Indeed, in some parts it is ugly beyond expres- ‘sion, The view up Elm street, for instance, from where at street leaves Centre, could hardly be matched in | Mnsighiness in any other American city. If a pack of artillery had been assigned to the work of battering in the buildings removed to make way for the junc- there could the prospect be less pleasing than it {s? | he New York of red brick and white paint, plain ‘Mapretending, was not displeasing to the eye. wnstone Now York had its artistic merits, But the; \ ay York of to-day with its broken sky line and its Pomeneous architecture/is not beautiful. Yet there is tater hope now than ever before of a remotely event- i ful made so largely by the Municipal Art ules Huret, editor of the Parla Figaro, & more characteristic development of than our fall buildings, “I think Rocke- Carnogle the Ancat Mowers of the Amert- ot these three the greatest is bon; “for in your country be we Don't be discouraged, but stay In the ring, {a the advice of the oldest joke of all. PATTI’ FAREWELL TOUR. Another “First Family”) Appiteant, | Prag, Josh M.A, Lone: ve—-Will you have some wine? -Wine not? (Why not?) don’t laugh, out of respect. H, @, VAN PLT, No. 106 Shepard avenue, Brooklyn Thin Is = Bird, Prot, Joem M. A. Long: When ts paper money first mentioned in the Bible? When the dove brougm the green back | | to the ark. Yours, BH. KELTZ, No. 469 West Sixteenth street. A Hanging Affair, Prof, Josh M. A, Long Kindly send the ambulance after this Poor old helpless joke, which is floating wound yet Mike—I am trying to commit suicide Pat—Why don't you put the rope | ‘ around your neck, “Sure, | had it there, but che blamed thing neany choked me.” HARRIET, of Fordham, Dog-Day Humor, Prof. Josh M. A. Long: What kind of hair did Moses's dog have? Answer—Dog's halr, What aide of a dog haw the most hatr? Anwwer—Outetde, JERRY SULLIVAN. Two from Brooklyn. Prof, Josh M.A. Long Please give a home for these two} jokes: fhe man who takes a roll in bed In the morning cannot expect to have an appetite for breakfast when he gets up. What trade is the sun? A tanner JULIUS BREITITAUPT, No. 189 Sumner avenue, Brooklyn. pe MY FRENCH LESSON. me * Down in the garden, {n the shade, Where Cupid placed an artful bench, I linger with phe little mad, Who dally tries to tench me French; But ah, my lips will learn no more | Than “Je vous alme, Je yous adore,” “Of parlez yous Francais!" orles; | The birds sing mating songs above, And sweet upon us smile the skies, While af the world's a world of love I won my lessons o'er and o'er, Of "Je vous aime, Je vous adore.” Ah! in her hair the sunbeams neat, | And in her eyes the violets blow, While in the summer of her breast | The ong-bird thoughts Mit to nnd | fro, Oh! ne'er were words #0 blest before, | As "Je yous aime, 36 Yous asiore,”’ grammar flutters to the grass, A daisy nods a knowing head, And on my breast a little lass Outblushes all the rose's red; Ne'or ps a ter burden bore, Than ‘Je vous aime, Je vous adore.” HOSS 2GODD 4004400009006 ¢ CART THAT BLO DAL AMADA. THE APPLE SSOMED INTO A P & 9000S OOO% © THE SHARP QOATBE WILL GIVE ANOTE SO H/GH ABOVEa NOT REGISTE ee » SEEN AY T) PLAT-IROM BUILDING” PS99SS9SHOOO ere “CURTAINS” SOUNDS A van THE BLONDE DYKE HAS A MELLOW WRRATION SOO: PROF UNDO & ee SSPE TIOOSD = MELODY on THE GALwWays?) A sclentist claims that each style of beard sounds a special note of its own as the wind blows through It and that the region of the Flatiron Building on a windy day is @ symphony of Varying notes PDDOPHHGDIHVOHIGGS ©9OYGHHOHHHHD DO PEO4DSI42G-9O4HH95.F29-9O9HH9HGGHGSDOIDOS DOVOGOOD ¢ HOW TO IMAKE MONEY. Ways of Livelihood Open to Women. i The following atticles on ‘‘How to Make Money™| i are condensed extracts from a book of the same compiled by Katherine Newbold Birdsall, to be pubs) lished in the spring by Doubleday, Page & Co. ‘ extracts are here produced through the courtesy of the’ i comptler and publishers. ; , The object of the book ts to teach women how q make a living without especial training or experten i along any particalar line. The hints are eminently | practical and should prove of value to all women. ‘ STORY-TELLING AS A PROFESSION. HAD told stories to little children ever einoe I was I Uttle child myself. Until a few years ago I did now feckon the faculty as peculiar, or see any possibill of service in it. One night I had been talking ebout 43 Wilkins and I began to eketch the tale of the poor ht maid who eloped with the tin peddler. When my voice ceased one of the girls said: “Did learn all that by heart?" I bad not learned it by heart. I saw the posstbiltti- @head of me; and from that time to this I have ¢old ol In @ natural unhesitating way I narrate the pictures in mind. . I seldom tell any but ohiidren's stories, no matter wht EFFECT my audience may be. / ‘ON. As I look back four years and see how quickly I GERMAN to have returns from my modest efforts to seoure work WHISKERS © | amazes me, They have come from educators and ‘women’ clubs for the most part, and one engagement has invariably brought another. Talks on story-telling and story-telling entertainment receive from clubs and educational associations thelr { rates for lectures, whtoh vary ¢rom $% to $15. The i) {s $5 and $15 1s the amount that clubs are willing to J tor entertainments of a more pépular neture than : ordinary meetings, such as the annual children's day. sons in story-telling to individual pupils and practital ‘ Ve s ‘ 4 »| to normal schools and kindergarten training classes »| paid for at the usual rate for tutoring end special instruc; tion, in the latter case depending upon the aize of and the length of the course. It hardly needs to be that this development of story-telling could come only much practical experience, involving careful study and o! servation. It was told me recently that one of the best known ucators of the country had made the statement that BOO SOS 290 worn Bur Disc ong, AW ARCHTIE i} WHISKERS] Coe ‘woman who could tell @ story well could make her I have not proved that by experience; but though, as been very modest, hardly deserving the name of the returns from them have surprised me. I have no give her undivided attention to make a profession of telling, can earn a very comfortable living from the naturally leads to. ‘ i y SHOPPING CLASSES. f I of clothing materi from hooks and eyes to skin coats, and the getting of the best materials’ fom With valuable advice from ‘“‘one who knows’ and lucid ems planations af reavons, many young girls will cease tol dressed’ does not mean “‘well-Gressed,” and vice-versa. great many young girls are given a certain stipend monthly; the little accessories of dress. But in thelr inexpert they purchase things absolutely unsuited to thelr needs, » |help her daughters spend, or ts an invalld—or perhaps there’ » | is no mother at all. good shopping ability this suggestion opens up @ large feld for profit, provided she lives in or near a town. ping chaperon," and must be in readiness to take hi changes et any time and superintend their purchases. If havo suggested ebove, my efforts to posh my trade that another woman who has the gift and who capes lines of work—lecturing, teaching and entertaining—thet HIS suggestion refers to teaching girls the the money spent. spend thelr money {n foolish finery and learn that “ out of which to clothe themselves completely, or to buy; cause mother {8 too busy with house cares or society tel For @ woman who combines fondness for girls with The teacher of a shopping class might be called a “sho: one organizes a jolly class in which the girls ere good with whiskers who pauses there adds his own individual strain to the | friends, the whole class can be called to attend the pur Brand, sweet song.—News item. chi apt ters and the establishment of a profitable business, a frock for one of them, and so on. This ides te! lead to many calls for shopping from different quare, Some of the Best Jokes of the Day. DIFFERENT SPELLING, Druggist—Have you dove much sleighing this winter, The Dootor (absentiy) only one patient so far | HOME FUN FOR WINTER BGVENINGS. |joy sirniott Sete on 0 oe a an ugly spot staring at usa spot that by akliful ha Why {a a lot of new wheels passing PIPE AND RING TRICK, with's like men golng from home to do a hard day's work? They are going Chicago News, When Is love deformed? When it ts A SURE SIGN, "Why do you think he ta a million. ng ladies in love like the clrous? Because they have a yearning “Because he spends so little money and his son spends ao much."'—Chicago hat nation produces the most mar- rages? Fascination When fs a bay lke a breakfast oup? When it's a tea thing (teething). What fs a kies? WELL NAMED, you seen the new dance ‘The Automobile? He—No; sort of break-down, I suppose? Yonkers Statesman, A receipt given you lady on paying your ad- How can you shoot 120 hares at one shot? Firs at a wig, If a spider were late for dinner what would he do? Take a fly. When !s a clock on the ous? When It runs dow Why {s your nose like “olvility? Beoause it is between two DROWNED THE NOISE, Mow was it that you didn't hear the cyclone coming? Why, you see my wife had a ting in the parlor ac sewing society TO THE MANNER BORN, She—Don't you think Mr has a great deal Which ts the left side of » plum pud- That which {= not eaten, What ship is best for the voyage of A cord of wood. Where bave all the bables of the world been cradied? In the lapa(e) of years. olghest? When the cow Jumped over the moon, Oh which side is the handle pitcher? On the outside, Why is, tor “Let me alone,” he grumbled, on earth did you wake me out of a sound How oan you take a wedding ring off ® tubacco pipe without removing the ARTISTIC DARNING, | OST of us are familier with the homely art of défi M ing hostery, but when it comes to fine laces « sheer lawn, to say nothing of (he numerous other GEOMETRY WITH MATCHES. | might be rendered vistble! It {s my optnion that thts profession, if I might use the! term, could be made very lucrative, and it would not come) amiss to name the craft “artistic darning." - FINE LAUNDERING. IMPARATIVELY few women know how to laundeg’’ Cc thelr doliles, centrepleces, fine handkerchiefs and: lacesfi and in the hands of the ordinary laundrems the pretty embroidery, fine drawn-work and dainty lace ase soon robbed of their beauty, if not utterly destroyed. Here 1s a field for the energetic woman who rasta make money. Such work is really pleasant end daint the pure soap required and the careful washing being sate’ guards against rough and calloused hands, (To Be Continued.) ‘ \ rnntehes in gush avway that the twelve] IDEAS FOR A VALENTINE PARTY. () 4 Have the room decorated with emilax and other flexi greens. Make huge hearts of red roses (paper, {f natural not be obtafned), pierced with arrows, and have them Po pended from the ceiling, says the Roston (Hobe. In entering the room each guest receives a haif of & valena tine, These are compared and each two whoae halves Qt toy fm: other are partners for the gamen to follow. When ell been mated the players are requested {o search for hearts, @ prise being promised to the partners who are matches will form four equeres of even aizé instead of four triangles shown in to gain possession of their hearts. ' It is explained that a heart for each person Is hidden somev where in the room, the name of the owner being written om engraved on it, If any person finds the heart of another he is to keep the discovery a secret, continulng in search ot fe ‘* our iMustration. own, If any (nformation as to ther whereabouts of amoth at kind of string makes good fuelt 2 ste IS LE heart be given the informer and his partner lowe the game. NO SUCH LUCK, ‘The hearts are really heart-shaped boxes, and when 0 may contain candy, or if another game be desired, Mny, Seen ee dcols imwroper? 7°" | Nearts mado from pink pastéboard, exch heart - Jipson—Ht 1s very kind of you to say] word written upon tt The words witen properly. but what's the use? 1] should form @ valentine v Faby F able to gét any of the pa-| Cortain time is i A as unt to be geen i