The evening world. Newspaper, February 4, 1903, Page 10

THE WORLD: WEDNESDAY EVENING, FEBRUARY 4190 a ee ea & ed by the Press Publishing Company, No, 68 to a Park Row, New York. Wntered at the Post-OMmece at York as Second-Class Mali Matter. ‘OLUME 43. seeeNO. 15,142. THE RAILROAD'S EXCUSE. |, The assumption that it 1s the expense of an extra man the locomotive cab that has kept the railroads from ng him there appears to do the roads an Injustice. According to President Truesdale, of the Lacka- Itor in the case at all.” As formulated by Mr, Truesdale 4 e reasons*for keeping him out are far more important i n that. They are as follows: ©) 1. There is no room for two engineers In the modern looo- | Motive of the mogul type. If there is not so much space avallable on the left side | of the cab as on the right, would it involve more than a simple matter of carpentry to provide It? 2 Two men are not as efficient ng one. Railroad men all agree that divided responsibility would be a very dangerous experiment. as it proved dangerous in the pilot-houses of ferry- Ddoats? 8, Put two engineers in the cab and they will “visit” with each other. Be When the fireman was at his side was tfere enough “visiting” to interfere with the engineer's efficlency? Or fs there an etiquette of the cab that forbids conversation ‘with a fireman, but would encourage it with an assistant engineer? The public’s estimate of the engineer's » eharacter is that he is not much given to small talk at any time. _ -Frhe danger of a locomotive engineer dropping dead or becoming physically or mentally incapacitated while on duty » t@ exceedingly remote. The Evening World's citation of such accidents showed two occurring within six months within fifty "ease in the cab of the Harlem road’s Chatham BPxpress) ‘on Sopt. 12, 1902, and an Ontarfo and Western engineer Killed in his cab on March 7, 1902. 6. It's different aboard ithe boat; the pilot has no? fixed path; @ two dy are better than one there. Why? It might be expected that where there is “no ) fixed path” a division of responsibility would be more to be feared than in a cab where train orders and signal ights leave nothing to difference of opinion. ’ Mr. Truesdale's “important reasons,” indeed, do not to strengthen the raflroad’s case. They seem ther to prejudice it by alleging in support of the prac- of keeping a second man out of the cab the very ments that lead public sentiment to demand his THE CHILDLESS RICH. A magazine writer points out that the American -rate has steadily declined from the days of the Pil- fim Fathers until it has now ‘become 8) small as to ese) ite alarm for the nation’s future. {2 Where the original colonists had families of ten or <Welve the third and fourth generations of Americans “had families of six or seven, the fifth families of four or ve and the sixth families of three and less, ~ }.Now, in the words of Dr. George I", Shrady, “a baby fg more unwelcome fn a flat than a dog.” ; This alarm has been sounded before, but there ap- to be not the slightest disposition to heed it, In The World canvassed Fifth avenue and among five families living on fifteen blocks it found forty thout children. It was a monotonous list of the child- _@onts, Burdens, Armours without a child in the house. “ ‘This same canvass showed one tenement-house in vington street, No. 73, with 107 children—48 families ‘ander one roof and only three of them without children, Tt was an extraordinary contrast. The deplorable and alarming thing is that this avoid- @nce of maternity is not only to be charged up against comprehended in Dr. Shrady’s remark about babies and “@ogs—the families of moderate wealth, From them the membership *of women's clubs is “Yargely recruited—societies of political education, moth- themselves with the regulation of all civic and domestic «Matters save only the one that is woman's chief and , moblest function, maternity, It is a painful showing in ’ the “higher selfishness" which gives the pursuit of so- elal pleasure preference over home duties. Between the extremes of the Brooklyn mother re- “fered to in this column who congratulated herself on the mineteen children “given by God" and the childless ‘ “mother of club and society life there 1s a golden mean . ‘of maternity which to avoid is culpable in a wife. : THE VALUE OF AN IDEA. ‘Among current theatrical items two may be singled out as of unusual interest because they show the value of an Idea in enabling a man or woman to get on In the ¥ world, if One relates the reappearance of the comedians ‘Weber and Fields in the role in which they made their P stage debut. {t was not an ambitious role—"a few clog steps, a few pathetic lines about the land where the shamrock grows, with more steps and a dance showing great agiilty.’ Nothing very new or great, yet novel enough to please the public and to serve as the basis on ) ‘which a remarkable reputation and a very remunerative playhouse were Dullt, The second tells of Miss Margaret Anglin as a spec- what methods, ay Plock company. “Ashed until full recognition of it, is secured. ‘thas a ready ear for the one who comes to it with some ‘Buch & one there is always fame and financial reward ping $7 a weck there is now a bank cashier's sulary; ‘the New Jersey reporter at $13 of a decade ago ther: Row bis own metropolitan newspaper and other larger ises besides, man who does a Wereieed be no Limit to his advancement, ¢ nna, an official spokesman, “the expense is not a fac- miles of New York City—an engineer dead of heart dis-) rich—Sloanes, Bishops, Inmans, Ogden Millses, Bel-| the rich but also against the multitude of flat-dwellers | *|ers’ clubs, Sorosis, feminine federations that concern | tator in the gallery of the Empire Theatre watching} Viola Allen—watching and mentally imitating and won- @ering whether she, too, could thrill an audience and by! Watching and studying and soon on the} stage herself, then making a hit in “Mrs, Dane's De- fense,” her shrill hysterical scream still ringing in the ears of her auditors and now leading lady in the Empire! In each case an iden, fostered and nurtured and cher- New York thing new or something ollt of the common order. For! | "Wor the newspaper artist who but a few years ago was well as his predecessor stays he is or retrogrades; the man who does a little fortune, Herein is the secret of success, and! te one begins with an idea as his capl- $Oo4 ee © \o @ “Ah! This 4s fine $4.464080$O60O9OO00OOO9804 THE OLD JOKES’ HOME, LRBADY the cozy wards of The A Old Jokes’ Home are half full. | So are the Old Jokes In the alco-} holle ward, where all Old Jokes addicted to lquor are relegated. The first Inmate received in the aleo- | holic ward was the old drunken Joke of @ hotel by M. Dhe niwht clerk says: that man in here. hotel.” ver mind!” replied the more sober friend; “he's too drunk to know the lfference!”’ Old Jokes who come home late to be vituperated by their waiting wives will be given a chance to sober up and get thelr speech ack to an un derstandable state Ola jokes that have to fall oft buildings and down ladders for a Uvelhood will be carefully nursed in the casualty ward, Just at present four old Irish jokes that have fallen off ladders are in eplints, and the negro joke that gets hit in the head with a brick Is # ting up and noticing things The children's ward 45 filling rather slowly, although the Ittle boy who has been making fun of bald-headed men 2 more sober friend at “Don't bring ‘his ts a temperance out of a comle paper and brought to the asylum by a kind-hearted lady who noticed how feeble tt had grown. |Abraham Djncoln and the Inte Willlam ‘Travers are being brought In by ambu- lance hourly, Some of them are very weak. | We welcome all old jokes save those by the long years they have worked at “smokers and “stags. Only jokes of wood character can be received, as we are conducting a refuge for the old and feeble Jokes and not a reformatory for those who are always heard of in sa- loons, smoking rooms of clubs and such lke resorts, First, Inst and all the time, the Old Jokes’ Home js founded solely for GOOD, old jokes in vouh senses of the word. ‘The prize of $ for the most deserving candidate for Jokes’ Home still holds, Please deacriba briefly. Candidaten Recently Sugwested, Prof, Josh M.A | Deay Sir: Please give a home in your | joke that burns a church down and then saya “Holy smoke!” JOHIN 'T, KELLY, | Prot Josh M. A. Long: . Dear Sir,—Please give a home In your Institute for Old Gags to the careless old joke thi Untll r | parody | Down,” Long Back and DAN M'AVOY. “Go ' on Prof, Josh M.A. Long D ‘The oldest joke working in va the one that is aske | what he would do if he was kissed by |a girl, and who replies, ‘1 would kiss [her back.’ Put this one away aml | never let it out again, Pp, THOMAS. Prof. Josh M. A, Long 1 am pained to see that the host of people who are sending cand your Old Jokes’ Home thave utt lected some of the ol feeblest, hardest-worked, most decrepit of them I forward them to you tn an ambu- They are: The mother-in-law y root and branch of that Jsubject. Also, “Why 1s @ crow the | wisest bird In the world? Because it never opens its mouch without caws.” And eke the quip anent "Not mothel used to atake Gade, foro e not also ML that tt 1 ga afterthought | the hu jate and | ‘and "Is this mpany's.” all, tance. joke in ey John, did you ma ? an vAnd, a nd wht rom the No, it’s t PHY squifty * our car? —— SS 6 7 DO NOT LOVE. THEE. | Thee!—no! 1 do not not love thee | love thee! | Ana yet when thou art absent I) || 4"en ands | | | ana envy even the bright blue sky | above thee, | Whose quigt stars may sce thee and 1 do be glad. I do not love thee! yet, 1 know not why, Whater thou dost seems still well] done to me, And often in my solitude Tosigh | those I do love are not more | thee! * | ft do not love theetyet when thou r art gone the sound—though those 1 hate | who speuk be dear Which breaks the lingering of the tone Thy yolce of music leaves upon my ear. —Caroline Hilzabeth Sarah Norton. ORODEAREDDDOS 6.4% the intoxteated man being brought Into} | since the time of Elijah has boen picked | ‘ Jokes whose paternity ts ascribed to). of bad morals that gave been corrupted!» admission to the Old], %. 00-04-04 A LITTLE OFF-HAN o 04046. © nurse. The apparatus is attached WECESSITY 1S THEITOTHER OF INVENTION - NURSES FRE SCARCE UP WWETHE SWISS MOUNTAINS @7° NOW LET THE NURSELESS MOTHERS SCREAM WITH DELIRIOUS voy I! A Swiss mechanic claims to have invented an automatic baby's waves cause especially arranged wires to operate a phonograph, which aR ES CRT == BV EOIN EAS — ©9O90000000000 DOEDRDRDDADDDOADIDODORE®REDIOROOEDIDODOPIOD 646.844900O000OO949909960OO0O05OO0O500O09O9OOOOO0O00 SOCIABILITY THAT ENDED IN A GLORIOUS TIME. OLD-TIME MIDSHIPMEN. The mldshipmen, who were designed to be the future cap- tains, were all of tender years when appointed, and, withomt preparation, were sent on board ships elther fitting out or about to sall in search of the enemy. Yet the need of mental education for the youngsters was great, and @tful attempts were made to provide it. Congress having refused to establish naval school, the Navy Department in 1802 prescribed in regulations the duties of schoolmasters; but schoolmasters were not appointed, writes ex-Secretary John D. Long in the Outlook. When, in 1819, the Navy Department decreed that. midshipmen must pass a professional exam|nation in orden to rocelve promotion to the grade of lieutenant the country greeted the reform with gratification: the youths were af- fected with consternation. It was the thing for a “middy"* during the greater period of his apprenticeship to apply him- self to doing what he was told, and doing It quick—e process which was frequently accelerated by @ rope’s eng— and to devote as much time as he could epare in the ex months prior to examination to the study of the theory ef seamanship. ‘This theoretical education was gained from © few books on mathematics and navigation and sometines: from the kindly help of a superior. In The United States Nayal Atademy,” written by Park Benjamin, whose full and excellent history of the Naval Academy I have followed, the author thus describes the examination of Midshipman Joseph { ‘Tatnall: Commodore—Mr, Tatnall, what would be your course, eup- posing you were off a lee shore, the wind blowing a gale, both anchors and your rudder gone, all your canvas carried away, and your ship scudding rapidly toward the breakers? ‘Tatnall—I cannot concetve, sir, that such a combination ef Asasters could possibly befall a ship tn one voyage. Commodore—Tut, tut, young gentleman, we must have yor™ WHAT A_BOOM ToTHIs' UNHAPPY FATHERY! ) ANNES head despondingly In deep thought). Come, sir, come—bear & hand about {t. What would you do? Tatnall (at last and desperate)—Well, I'd fet the infernal tub go to the deuce where she ought to go. Commodore (joyously)—Right, eir; perfectly right! That Will do, sir, The clerk will note that Mr. Tatnall has passed. ie {i Hh) >3 opinion, supposing such a case to have actually occurred. ) ® Tatnall—Well, sir—sails all carried away, do you say, si Vv K/N Now THE MAMMa'sS MAY $| Commodore—Aye, all—overy raz. y rn TAKE IN THE MATINEE. AND ® Tatnall—Anchor gone, too, sir? ( \ Nt" Sr LEAVING || ConsandSre@Aye icici an iiccommon canes ‘ i it SK At \ NK BABY IN CHARGE OF “WuRSjE" I | Tatnall—No rudder either? La ASS NIG in ®| Commodore—Aye, rudder unshipped. (Tatnall drops his { ° AL co A JACK OF ALL TRADES. ‘The Civil Service Commission recelves a number of curious answers to the questions put ¢o applicants for positions in the Government service, but it {s believed that the answen recently made by an epplicant for a position as @ draughts man in the engincer service is way beyond anytBing that was ever heard before by any of the examiners, says tha Washington Star, This applicant said: “From November, 189, to May 30, 1900, I toured the United States on a tour of soclologic and economic observation, worked in nearly all the States and principal citles. Started, out without any money, commanded salaries at followindy professions, trades and kinds of common laboi “Surveyor, draughtsman (topographical, architectual easli engineering)’ writer for newspapers and magazines, bridge carpenter, house carpenter, boat builder, blacksmtth's helper, bollermaker's helper, farm hand, cook, hunted geese and’ ducks for market, photographer, lumberman, lecturer, shov- eller on railroad grades, dishwasher, shingler, teamster, oow+ boy and cattle shipper, solicitor, cleaned old bricks, rasiroad steel, gang work, woodchopper, worked in sawmills ed factor! rafted logs, wrote advertising, &c, Can com- mand salary at more different kinds of labor then any living man, Immune from malarial fever, mountain fever lazy fever or any other disease, Expert on matters relating to phywloal or mental development. At present writing a series of er ticles for a New York magazine. Not afraid of heat on oold from exposure. Not afraid of wild animals, microbes, men, polltical parties or work, Can swim any river in the United States. Expert with shotgun, can also shoot rifle. Can a» dure fatigue and exposure, Can handle gangs of men. “Reallzing the fact that examining boards are apt to doubt some of the above assertions, I have on deposit in « savings bank of New York the sum of $80, which I will forfeit to them if I cannot substantiate every assertion made when put to a practical test.”” 1T WAS A BUM NURSE !i—WOULD WHAT JHE K/O MIGHT OO 70 “NURSIE” sings a lullaby, while, simultaneously, clockwork is released and rocks the cradle. When the crying stops the wires cease to vibrate and the cradle stops rocking.—Cablegram from Geneva, DPD $9OOODHHHHHSS HOOOHHHHF0O9OOOOHHOOOO® to a cradle, If the baby cries air ex 00-06. Five of the Best Jokes of the Day. A CHANCE TO FREEZE. Mrs, Mugging (examining the mark « her husband had brought home This chicken looks to me as though it had been tn cold Mr, Muggins—Very Mkely, my dear sght It home with me in a trolley —Philadelphin Record, NO WASH FOR HIM! Woolly Wiggins » but Td hate to be in a shipwreck, Tattered Tucker — Oh, tings, Woolly Wiggins—I don't know, Didn't you never hear about de bodies bein’ “washed ashore?’ Tink of dat.—Kan- sas City Journal, GROUNDS FOR BELIEF, “And you really believe that Friday js an unlucky day?” Humph! I know ft Is."* “Washington was born on Friday. and 40 was Napoleon and ‘Tennyson Gladstone Yeu ty dead dere's worse and and every mother's son of them ty Journal. A PARTING SHOT. Sullor—Don't you think y could learn to love me rly Malden—No, 1 don't think so. jy Sultor-Well, 1 guess you too old to learn.Detrolt Free Press, HOW SHE LOVED HIM, A.—-What are your tears worth, Kansas Mrs. —A good deal, Sometimes a half dozen will procure a new gown or et Of furd—Chicagy Nowa @ } SOMETHING ABOUT OXYGEN. — The combination of oxygen and any other element or ele- ments which results when anything burns ts called combus- ‘tion, When the tron and the oxygen combine together to form ‘ron rust, that 1s combustion, too, says the Pubite Ledger. That is called slow combustion, and when the combination 4s such that much heat and flame or fire may be noticed it 1s called rapid combustion, i Another thing about oxygen {s that It enables human beings and all other animals to live, for {t f@ the oxygen in the air we breathe that purifies the blood, and perhaps you will be sunprised to learn that the purification of the blood fs nothing more or les# than the burning out from the Bleed of the things that ought not to be in it, 4 ‘The oxygen combines with these impurities and they come out when we let out our breath, This is an example of combustion, : But if the air was composed of pure oxygen we could @ot live fn it, because the combustion would be too rapid, end this 18 one of the reasons that nitrogen has been pat into the alr, It simply serves to dilute the oxygen, #0 will not be too strong for us, just a8 we dilute lemon with water to make lemonade. If we drank the lemon pure it might be strong enough to injure the ning of throat or stomach. a REAL SEA SERPENTS. } § bd In New Caledonia sea serpents are frequently seen sometimes captured. They are curious creatures, the being very small and scarcely distinguishable from the body, and the tall being formed like an oar. In length they generally between three und four feet ‘ In the Jaw there are tiny glands containing polson, but ee ; HOME FUN FOR WINTER BVENINGS. | THE DEVIL'S WINE, ‘The Devil's Wine is a little parlor trick that amuses the children and makes big people laugh. ‘The devil ds to Jump from @ bottle of champagne, First of all a napkin must be thrown over two cham- pagne bottles like @ curtain. Behind the intrenchment the preparations needful are made for the exorcism of the demon. From a piece of firm cardboard, not too thick, a strip is cut, about 11-2 inches broad at the end of which a larger square plece is left attached. Out of this piece is cut with @ penknife the figure of a demon, having been outlined first, {f necessary, This strip is then fastened with a pin to the cork of a third bottle in such @ way that the part with the figure is a little longer than the other, To the opposite end of the strip a thread ta tied, fastened to a large dry basin, The glass t@ then filled with cham- pagne, set underneath the apparatus, and the ratsin dropped into the glass. ‘The carbonic @as that rises from the hampag gathers in innumerable | beads around the rai vhich is Hitted to the surfac his sats formed by the cardboard atri fon, and the part with the devil behind the curtain, As soon*as the raivin has reached the surface the Chinese Shadow Pictures. ; then placed between the light and | ya rand set in motion. owes will appear on shee as shown ty the dMustration. We will show you a elmple way of making shadow plotures that appear in front of the spectators, while all pre made dehind them (see fl Place a light, preferably a ar — in my — drops: TRY THIS RIDDLE, andi, on the table and a sheet of white] TEN A MS Ei tees fas ia dlmsipated, the Utte felt toses its} the mouth ie very small It ts dimMoult for them to tte, apa pap the Hin the game height hy is @ Glind pig that has been |buoyancy an es down again, at which tives handi¢é them fearlessly. ee per Ot) Ane) Ale AR Me BMT taugntered by a butcher with black| moment the devil appears above une| ‘he M, Kormogant, a European traveller, secently wit fan experiment at Noumea, which shows that under certai. with the light any non-transpar- & large book for instance, Nght and the sheet of curtain. whiskers whose second wife's mother's |CUNMM. oe of up and down, sister Went around the corner a moment between the Kk, gee ‘until all the ody end seh oe scipatad trom te ahuin I Gpnditions the sea serpent can @o deadly work, i A rat was caught ine trap and ite tongue was @ pair of pinchers and placed in the mouthrof « seg ego Greased in black silk and @ last year’s bonnet like a note written in Stand @ mirror on one side of paper. the table !n such a way that It throws: rola OF aquare light, according to|freen ink by, the butchers duswhter, to ‘The serpent immediately bit it, and the rat dled in four, the shape of the mirror, on the sheet|nalr every aay since her father's bouse tutes Stray Storia, + Sar of paper, Lite figures eut of paper) burnt dowal lillian ) ¥