The Seattle Star Newspaper, September 23, 1920, Page 6

i _ feertainty discover what Fable of the Bogged Jitney Nine councilmen, supposedly skillful pilots, once started to, drive the Jitney 1 limits of the city. ae the le; e 3 'o do this they pretended that they were merely going to take a trial spin _ Almost before they had ' chine refused to budge. » thru the streets, make a few adjustments and then turn the Lizzie back to its _ true owners. started they were in difficulties. The blamed ma- The councilmen sweated and swore, ye-cranked the , Spit on the carburetor, kicked the rear wheels and wasted much time : . Bek profinity. * Nothing, indeed, but } the possession of some can with any hat the bottom is the true ‘Secharacter of any man. _ {—Burke. Btters to the ink or typewriter. side of paper only. your name. Ww IMENT A JOKE | Editor The Star: As a constant Tea of your good paper, I have you promote reforms and im- nents in our city. ‘would like to ask for information to our traffic ordinances. We to have good ones, and, {f any- too many of them. If what have were properly enforced, it list of accidents to al- At present there attention to the laws, but “Wis a case of every man looking out “for himself and getting the better of | he can, regardless of the other D around the city any time; will find cars standing for hours the district where they are sup to stand but half an hour. Drive around the city at night for hour, and see how many cars you Will find parked without any lights, Bnd on the most traveled streets, at / that. Also count the number of cars wing driven with tall lights out and light in front, and some without lights at all. Then those with glaring headlights? What a great sise there has been made about giar- fing Yights—and they are as bad as he day before Sout had occasion between Terry ave. y and James and Madison about 9 o'clock. After noting of cars without lights, count, and courted 25 standing ‘a few blocks, under the heavy | of the trees, That sort of gives the driver no protection er. Go out Fremont ave. any night. you will find from one to a dozen | @8fs against the curb without any EB. 8. | Editor The Star: Riding in street ars, it is common to see the seats all _ @ecupied by children of 1] ages, and Mothers with infants in their arm: standing; also old and feeble people ‘standing. It is very rarely that one 8008 one of these pupils rise and of- fer the little courtesies to one of ; sufferers who is riding on full ‘ (the students) are on halffare. They do not Fealize that the sufferers are paying | the expense of the halffare, as well FAIRPLAY. Ate Knicker—There’s a fellow that is ever bothered or troubled by his tenants. They never even kick about ‘the rent. Bocker— Lucky fellow. Where's _ bis property? Knicker—A cemetery on the edge _ @f the town. HIS MID .EARING . Doctor—Has your busband come | out of his semi-consciousness yet, dam? “Yes, I believe he had a lucid mo- “Ment a little while ago.” Doctor—What did he say? “He refused absolutely to take the Medicine, and remarked that you Were an ass."—Detroit News. ,councilmanic trouble-shooting. Finally they got the Lizzie adjusted. They gave her the gas. Dropping all peeeres, they made a run for the city limits. Immediately they got bogged in a mire of legal technicalities. There the Jitney rested for two months. The jitneurs then made an effort to salva, the machine. The nine councilmen grew jealous of their prerogatives as the saviours of the city. They de- jcided to call in public help. The citizens of the city should give a hand to drag the Henry out of the mire. “Come on over and let’s smash the hloomin’ vehicle to bits,” cried William Hickman Moore. “No!” said the owners of the jitneys, who had tired of “If the voters help pull the car out of the bog, let ‘em put them back on the city asphalt where they can carry citizens to work every morning.” “Let the public judge,” said Moore, | “Let "em judge what?” piped up Mayor Caldwell, foreman of the garage, who had not been consulted on the job. “You fellows don’t leave the public any choice but to smash the machine or let it run wild thru the city.” “We should worry,” returned Moore, wiping the grease and oil from his pants. “We're thru.” Whereupon the councilmanic mechanics boarded a munic- ipal car and returned to the city hall to take up the im- portant work of repairing the political fences in their own back yard. MORAL: The Jitney Must Go—but Where? Fear of Poverty In the era marked by the reign of Queen Victoria, people of the middle | class ‘were obsessed by the fear of poverty—not the real poverty that | makes people hungry, but the ‘reduced circumstances’ that might keep them from being ‘respectable.’ How awful if they should lose their money and have to work with their hands or to get along without a servant! And now, as a writer in the London Spectator potnts out, thousands of welltodd people have lost their money and their servants, and be cause others also have lost they still remain ‘respectable’ and do not cringe or quiver when they meet their cousins whom the war has hap pened to enrich. And many of them, too, have worked with their hands and liked it. So they know that what they thought the worst is not so bad, and they can face life with a cournge that they never knew before, ready to meet each situation as it comes and take no anxious though for the morrow. The very insecurity of the times has taught People fo respect themselves and not the position that the self was once so often sacrificed to maintain. What a relief! Religion and philosophy have always maintained that “the kingdom of heaven is within you” and that it was hari for a rich man (or one who would be rich) to enter Into it because he sacrificed the self within for the riches that he wanted to’maintain or get. And to common sense it is clear enough that in a world of change the best gift to one’s children is strength and intelligence and a reasonable education with which to make their own way thru the world. But fashion ts supreme, and what Bernard Shaw has called the “middleclass morality” of Mid-Victorian Megiand- end America accented the respectability of formal observances and servants and possessions. If the war has rid the world for a time of that souldeadening fashion it has at least one substantial good to set against its many evils, They’re All Alike Any woman will tell you that men are all alike and always have been, and always will be. And there seems to be something in that. For evidence, go back to the 17th century, and give a hearing to Jean de la Bruyere, a celebrated essayist, In a treatise “On Human Nature in Womankind,” this fellow said: | “i it is for men that women paint and beamear themselves, IT can tell them that all men, or nearjy all, have agreed that white and red paint make them look hideous and frightful; that red paint alone ages and disguises them; that men solemnly protest against all artifices women employ to make themselves look ugty. “If women were by nature what they make themselves by art; If they were to lone suddenly all the freshness of their complexions, and their faces to become as fiery as they make them with the red paint they besmear themselves with, they would consider themselves the most wretched creatures on earth.”’ ‘Thus in the 17th century de la Bruyere was giving vent to the same | sort of criticiem that may be heard today among men who have no | appreciation for the graphic art of painting as applied to the com plexion. Men are all alike. De la Bruyere is forgotten, but giris still paint. The Rummage Sale Did you ever attend one? Here on a table ts old Brown's allk hat that he wore to church many years and now that he's gone it has been sent by his family to the rummage sale to be disposed of for the benefit of the church. And there on the counter fs an old china pug dog that used to guard the mantel piece in somebody's house. And on the rack hangs the Prince Albert coat that some fellow wore when he was, married and which his wife kept as a treasured thing thru the years; now she has given it away because the sentiment that attached to it is dead and has fluttered away like last year’s leaf. They are handy institutions, these rummage sales, enabling one, as they do, to give away for good purposes what he no longer needs, or wants or cares for. He holds on to such things a long time and then one day he gets tired seeing them around and away they go to the rummage sale, the second-hand store and the mg shop. But the rummage of minds and characters most people hold on to and cherish forever. To their dying days they keep old and worn-out prejudices and fight hard for them. They hold and feed cankering hates and envies as things of great value, worth treasuring in their hearta, They keep fast to habits, knowing they are bad, but lacking the will or courage to throw them off. They cast off only good resolutions and interfere too much with comfort. The next tape you gather together your old clothes for the rum- mage sale and you have packed it all in one bundle, suppose you say to yourself: “Let's see what have I left out? What else is there that I ought to get rid of? What passions, prejudices and habits are lit- tering up my mind and character?” You will not be able to get rid of this rummage as easily as you can dispoe of your old clothes, but once having taken stock of it will know yourself better. The first step to self-improvement is become acquainted with your defects. “I know everything except myself,” said the vagabond, Villon. intentions because they to Dividends Dividend, “a distribution of profit on shares.” Not always. Not even half the time. If that was all how poor so many would be As it is, how rich #0 many are. The babe, asleep on its mother’s smiling child, peering into its father’s eyes with all the confidence in the world—more dividends. Romping kids, playing in the town | streets or the country fields—somebody’s dividends. Boys and girls the world over—dividends that put old Six Per Cent to shame 365 days a year. The bride on her wedding day—more dividends for father and mother. The son, when he succeeds in the big struggle, wins a Promotion, is chosen to high office—dividends again for pa and ma. Children are assets in the eyes of their parents at least and they declare a dividend with every smile, with every flash of their eyes, with every kindly act. Children are not too good to be true, but certainly are true enough to be good. Big families are never bankrupt. They are, as a matter of fact, richer than Croesus, And Croesus was old man Moneybags himself. ¥ breast—dividends, surely. The Seattle film actor is sought in $125,000 gem theft. Evidently he wasn’t satisfied with stage money. After malcing $14,000,000 clear profit last year, the Pullman Car com- pany has raised its rates 50 per cent. The berth of a nation is not without pain, Nor without payin’, you THE SEATTLE STAR UCH is (ONE MAN’S OPINION|* LIFE! . Can tt be that thin matter of equal rights ts going too far? Men of Kast Cleveland, Ohie, have risen in wrath, slipping by with an ordinance making it i- legal for ladies to hug thelr part ners while dancing. This is perfectly all right. Jurt because we handed ‘em the vote is no reason why they should edge in on the hugging rights, see DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN— You could wear trousers and coat of different color, and get by with it? eee WHY COWS SHOULD WEAR GLASSES George Feikenheimer, of North Caldwell, N. J, bad @ fence-jumping cow. Nelghbors complained, George bought some big, round apectacion for hin cow, On each glass George painted pio tures of high fences, Now when the cow comes near a real fence and looks over it she seen the picture fence in her glasses and gets the idea the fence is too tall to wet over, eee GLIMPSING THE FUTURE ‘The airplane threatens the very existence of those conglomerations of buildings and humans called cities, aaserta Squire Abner Harpington. “The day i» coming,” says he, “when man will live and 100 miles from his job, fying to work and home again in his airplane Th will be no streets, nor roads either; railroads will be mere memo- ries, and fish alone will use the waterways.” eee ‘Time was when quite a few auto mobiles ran into horsedrawn vehb cles, finally running the horse into the background, And now— HARLAN, Iowa — An failing. to “hop” as its di making an effort to rem collided with an automobile coming | from the opposite direction oee Please hand one of those nice medals to— Patrick Vaughn, Harrisburg, Pa. Mr, Vaughn owns 42 dwelling houses, He rents 41 of them, and—tisten to thie He hasn't raised the rent on a ain- le tenant. eee Yen, life often loses not a little of ite joy. Thin time ft In the burean of ree | reation, Rochester, N. Y., extracting the joy by @ little sign like this: “Patrons of the bathing beach are asked to refrain from kissing while qn the beach.” eee THE CONVENTIONAL THING Romantic Youth—Why do you) hesitate, darling? We could easily! run away and get married. | His Fancy-—-My dear boy, you're too imponsible! Why, the only pho | tographs I could leave behind me were taken before I had my hair bobbed! EXPERT Employer to tired-leoking appt cant): Have you any experience as & sardine packer? Applicant for Position: Yea, sir, I was & subway conductor for three years, eee A patron ef drama ts Alfred Van Goof, And he's usually found ‘neath « theatre's roof, But if you are secking him, pray do not go To Shakespeare or Ibsen such show. tho he spends tickets enough, He never wastes cash on that “damned highbrow stuff,” But Al can be found in the very front seata, Where the twinkling of toes mea» ures musical beata . eee Jack Dempecy earns more tn one battle with his right and left than J. Caesar spent in conquering all Gaul. ASPIRIN For money on “Bayer Tablets of Aspirin” Is gen- ulne Aspirin proved safe by millions and prescribed by physicians for over twenty years. Accept only an unbroken “Bayer paekage” which contains proper directions to relieve Headache, Toothache, Earache, Neu- raigia, Rheumatism, Colds and Pain. Handy tin boxes of 12 tablets cost few cents, Druggists also sell larger “Bayer packages.” Aspirin is trade mark Bayer Manufacture Mono aceticacidester of Salicylicacia. Interesting Columbia Grafonola Program, Featuring Famous Artists and Other Atirac- tions to Be Held Each Saturday Evening. Of interest to muste lovers and critics is this announcement that Third and University will again be the scene of those free musical ts which’ proved so popu | Would it not? BY A, H. The N. Y. Legislature. Sen. Jones and Socialists. Pullman Pull. Is it the Same Reeves? “What' the matter with those damn fools, anyway?” This was the question flung at me anent the decision of the New York claliste duly and regularly elected. Inelegant tho the language may be. It is, however, comprehensive of the | case, “Damn fools" expresses the allbAmerican opinion of the New York legistature. ‘The laugh is on the republican) and democratic membera The clalists are the big gainers by the! mtupidity of the older parties, who, in a pretense of patriotiem, have outraged the fundamental American idea that majority rules. When expelled last winter, the five nocialista predicted they would be re-clected, And they were, They now predict they will again appeal to the people of their districts, and that they Will again return to the legistature, and that with them, there will be several other soctalists. And their prediction is likely to come true, They are making more | votes by being out of the legisla ture than in it, The reactionaries in the New York legislature are dotng more for socialist propaganda than Karl Marx and Morria Hilquit combined. When the legislature voted to ourt three of the socialists, it gave the other two an opportunity to com mand the entire nation’s ear when they realgned and declared they must refuse to wit in a house that had proved iteelf ao un-American. Tho socialists branding the New York leginiature “um American”! Think of it! In St not to laugh? It in but the laugh is not on the socialists! They mpeak the truth— for the New York legislature HAS proved iteelf “un-American.” «It HAS trampled on the ballot—the ballot which distinguishes American democracy from foreign dictator. ships, eee Suppose that, following his nom: ination by the republicans, Senator Wenley L. Jones tn re-elected to the mnate, How would it strike you if the U. 8 senate then voted to ex pell Jones because his antiwar at- titude did not suit the other’ mem bers? It would be an outrage, It would be an in fringement upon your suffrage, an attack vpon a free ballot. If the people of this state, knowing Jones’ war record, want him reelected, it in thelr privilege to send him to the senate, and, unless he is adjudged gullty of @ crime punishable by the laws of the U. 8. his seat in the wenate should be above political as mult. ‘The same is true of the socialists. They are entitled to the same square deal. Thotr antiwar reogpds differ in no wise from that of Senator Jones, unless one serks to quibble about the matter, They opposed war. 80 44 Jones. Bo did thou. mands of others, They were no more criminal than Jones waa If they are elected to the Irgisiature, they have as much right to their seats LELZZN\ KF RAR IN MW,| lar in past years Many enjoy- able programs have been ar- ranged’ in which the best works of prominent artists of voice and instruments, together with other special features of entertainment, will be presented. The spacious seating capacity of Montelius Music House Hall, and the splendid acoustic prop erties, insure every advantage for those who attend, The pro- gram for Saturday evening, Sep- tember 25, will be published in this paper tomorrow evening. legivlature to expel again no | an Jona han to his seat in the sen ate. There tn no difference, except that they are socialists and Jones in a republican, And whenever the day that a ‘an can have more privileges under the law than & member of any other political party, it is indeed a sorry time for America. Incidentally, in passing, and apro pos of nothing at all, it may be noted here that U. 8. Senat ponvicted of obtainin 1 and nentenced non, ie wll & member of the U, 8. nenate, eee Pullman car rates have gone up 60 per cent lately, It wan co-inct dental with the 20 per cent boost in passenger raten The railroads were having a hard time, we were told, and they had to have the raine, urally, then, one supposed that the Pullman company wasshaving even a harder tme, since its raise was larger, Now listen to this item which came over the wire yesterday: CHICAGO, Sept. 22.—The Pullman company's total reve nue for the past year was $14,519,777.26, After paying all taxes and all expenses and di- viding $9,599,800 among the stockholders, the company ha» 318,709.11 left to apply to the surplus fund. Nine millions in dividends, three millions more in the surplus fund and «till a boost of 60 per cent to the traveting public. And still we kick at @ muny street car ride for 6% éenta, rarer Republican County Chairman Reeves Aylmore says anyone will sult him as hin successor, except | Lieut. Ralph Horr. He alno says |tbat he hasn't withdrawn his own candidacy, Will somebody whose jand tell us if it is the same Aylmore who maid he would construe it a vote against him if the county conven |tion voted against the late Samuel Perkins aa national committeeman? If it's the mame chap, what's he «till fussing about? The convention DID vote against Perkins, and, gosh, what a majority it wast A—Have you seen the conjurer over in the side show? B—Nawi I suppose it’s the usual humbug. A—No, str! This man ts a wiz ard and a real artist. I handed him |@ counterfeit bill to work with, and he gave me back a real one — The use of lard in cooking again proved old-fashioned and expensive NIMAL fat’ soaks up in the food when you cook with it. This is not only wasteful, but it Mazola, the Great American the family in washing out her doll memory in g00d please step forward | AS IT SEEMS TO ME DANA SLEETH N MY back yard, as I write, the wun is shining every: | where except where the cherry tree caste a wel come shade this bright morning. There the young lady of clothes, humming what passes with with her for a tune, Acroms the street a neighbor ts cutting his lawn, whistling shrilly Another neighbor is gathering his tomatoes and he is making a low, moaning sound which represents his hum of contentment, ‘The wives of the neighborhood are canning blackberries and prunes, land hanging out clothes, and sweep- ing off the front walk, and bustling about happily, with an occasional 10 minutes’ gossip for relaxation. The grocery boy just arrived with the weekend table necesnities, and he is whistling. Everybody in the netghborhood tx busy, happy, with mind intent sole- ly on the work or play of the hour. And everywhere people are like that, if given a chance. The most ruthless horde of sav- ages that ever lifted a scalp spent more of their time sitting fn the sun before the lodge, watching the squaws at their tasks, than they did in murderous forays. The home life, the simple annals of the hearth and front yard, are the chief story of the human race from its dawn to this hour, and ninety-nine men in a hundred of mature years ask no more than that they may be given a chance to earn a living, and spend thelr off hours puttering about the house, And this is as true of the wild- eyed, bewhiskered, ignorant Russian peasant as it is of my neighbors. Left alone, all they would desire ts @ bit of land and a chance to make a living in peace. cee : T ts well to caN attention to this innate simplicity of the race because we are Mable these wild days to - imagine that somehow the world has changed, and that ft is bent on rushing to fiell with all the brakes off, Some degenerate crew of half-wits seta off & load of high explosive in New York and we thrill to the col- umns on columns of heaped-up hor- | ror, and begin to lose our sense of | proportion and to wonder if the world is wtill sane. But always we have had anarch- ints, always we have had those who were born with crooked minds and | twisted souls, and who hated every thing that was. But until recently the innate de- cency and sanity of the vast major- ity among us has given this breed nothing in common with us, and their frothings, and their bombings, and their knifings were only matters of public news, like gang murders and tong wars. ‘The war threw Europe out of tts rut and left empires at the mercy of the hot-heads, and the scum and jungte folk who before had preyed in the dark, And this temporary elevation ef madness, aided and abetted by rious shallow-pated yowlers amon) us, has crept into our national ming” and twisted our sane outlook a bil cee b) u O YOU feel as tho the way to solve our problems is to blow two dozens hapless” girls into mall bits? Does the wholesale m sacre of the innocent appeal to you as & wane system of righting such evils as we have fallen heir to? Well, 99 of your hundred fellow-clt> izens feel the mame way, and the old felt slippers beside the fire appeal to them just as they appeal to you. The world is ag it has been, as f will be, This may be sald; The surest way to exalt the madneny of a few degen erates is for authority to harass the voices of honest protest in the land. Every time that the constitutional ’ rights of free speech, tree assembly ” and of a free press are over-ridden by some bigoted judge or officer, by some peanut mayor or dishfaced wxemblyman, the cause of anarchy linked up with the cause of refo and honest men who hate opp look with more leniency on who oppose bigotry with insanity, I do not know whether or not New York socialist legislators are loyal to their country. I feel certain that had not they been kicked out by brute strength, they would not have been reelected by the majority they recently rolled up. And 1 tél sure that the repeated mistake of ousting them, perhaps because of an unreasonng prejudice, will result im their election for a third time by dow’ ble the majority they recetved the last time, ; There is one biessed thing about — the American voter, He may be muddled on @ lot of party problema, but when it comes to what seems the question of a square deal, he votes for the under dog every time, Soap should be used very ly, {f you want to keep your looking {ts best. Most soaps and pared shampoos contain too much “a kali, This dries the scalp, makes , | hair brittle, and ruins it. The best thing for steady use Mulsified cocoanut off shampos (which is pure and greaseless), and is better than anything else you cam thoroughly, Simply moisten the hair with water and rub it in, It makes ‘ , an abundance of rich, creamy lather, which rinses out easily, removing ew © 4 and excessive oil. The hair dries quickly and evenly, and it leaves the scalp soft and the hair fine and silky, bright, lustrous, fluffy and manage. You can get Mulsified shampoo at any pharmacy; cheap and a few ounces every member of months. Be sure you Mulsified. E& AN i Cooking Oil, is used so hot /t cooks the outside of the food quickly. Hence it doesn’t soak into the food—to anything near the extent of lard. ~ This fact was again demonstrated when Mrs: A. Louise Andrea, famous expert in modern cook- ery, fried 25% Ibs. of fish steaks in 2 Ibs. of Mazola. The same amount of lard fried fish steaks were cut to an average thickness of one inch, During the same series of experiments—which can be duplicated by anyone interested — Mrs, Andrea fried 2 Ibs. of toes in 2 16% Ibs. a ZN Ss \ SAA Ni Ibs. of Ma- zola, while the same amount of lard cooked lbs. 14 02. of potatoes, Also, of doughnyts. Mrs. Andrea fried 208 in 2 Ibs. of Mazola, while 2 Ibs. of lard fried only 138 doughnuts, The wonderful economy of Mazola is now in- disputably proved. It is at least twice as economical for frying doughnuts as lard. It goes nearly twice as far in frying fish, and three times as far in frying potatoes. No wonder Mazola is acclaimed by more than seven million housewives, and that it is found universally in the best hotels, clubs and dining cars of leading railroads, FREE (Protas Cost) Products Refining Co., P. O. Box 161, Cora ates City