The Seattle Star Newspaper, May 28, 1919, Page 11

THE SEATTLE STAR—WEDNESDAY, MAY 28, 1919. PAGS 11 Spirit of Evil Fortune “Laugh Editor” Has Ticklish Job toll Hovering Over Pacific Decide Best Family Jests;ContestEnds Baa sir of avi fortune ses ~~ Cook's Offering Today S Fraser-Paterson Co. Ax the latest addition to the casu Alty lst, the Yomet Maru, just off the ways of a Japanese shipyard, on pumping | dotes into this a prodigi rate in re} © to the nge of Kdmund} e, the poet, who turn out the funniest ever of them are kreat-—and it's going tak Laugh: EBaitor over the hur great the w This ts of the The jingle will draw the 4 ten-dollar bill, The worth next best Readers of Jingles nd funny , (te be hovering over the commerce, est those : : cond and University Main 7100 routes that find their way into Pu Bet sound. ing with the O: Steamer Manila it fire 1,000 ~niles o! pe Plat While on her way from the PORIENt to Seatile, five Seattle ships have met with mishaps in the past TOW Weeks. The steamers Ozette Western Knight, Yomei Maru 2 m Maru have fallen victims 40 Bome accident fire started in the hold of the Maru, when she 1,000 off Cape Flatter only the efficacious use of and Was it kept under contr: ne Waa finally extinguished after | Manila reachad Tacoma Oxette Caught Fire The Osette, a Seattlebutlt ship le on her way from here to the Wantic coast, caught fire and had But into San Francisco for re fe. She was not damaged to any | extent, but a large amount of dm one of her holds was ruined. Week the Western Knight by the Pacific Steamship oor » While on her from [her maiden voyage to Seattle for the | » lost half her fn a storm near Cape Flat }tery, and had towed fn by the tug Tyee. 5 Mon day It is a. mean man who will tell a joke Upon his trusting wife. I know it well, But have in mind a wheeze I might evoke But what good is a joke I may not tell? Transoceante company ways his atutt simy ka Shosen which rudder family to be he arrived here Some to stitpping minor unnere of some men are hoping aa they shape to decide the best story ner these mishaps. are last day contest It’s such a prime joke, too. I wish I could But it's suppressed, however much I prize it. Unjess——well, now you mention it—oh, very good! 1 might get by with it, if I disguise it. }) are not ominous for great Pacific marir first prise ond best st Coats and Capes Specially priced at eady tent on ave jingle is ad the dollar each ory or winner will receive In common with m other mo n hotels, The Palace at San Fran clseo has @ number of dining rooms. There is the sumptuous main dining room just off the lobby, a breakfast room at one aide, a banquet room at} the other, and several other places where food is sometimes served to hungry people. A poet and wife (who shall be nameless) had just ordered dinner in the main dining room, when a couple of men, at a neighboring table, began to smoke ‘The poet's wife (who shall be nameless) is very much averse to tobacco, #0 much #o that the fumes of it causes her physical nausea » beckoned a walter, and, thinking rooms in the search for comfort during t ne, “In there any dining room in the Palace hotel allowed?” ‘Oh, no, majlame,” answered the amoke whereyer she please!” was and eam al Ir submitted in It | “Little Walter was coming out of | the North for the first time in three years and was going to visit hin But Freak Coin Collector) cousin teva, who was just a wee baby when he last had seen her. His Offers $20 Each mother said, ‘Walter, do you remem (NX. BLA ber little Eva, who was no tittle WASHINGT® when you last saw her? ‘Yea,’ re When is a $2 Dill not a $2 bin? plied Walter, ‘and I remember back That's eas The anawe se: “When | further than that; I remember when it's a $1 DIN on the back afde. God said, ‘Stand up, Walter, while | A bank in a western city Informs |! put your eyes in.’ | the treasury department that on May } to the Orient, sprung a leak | 16 eight depositors came back to the she was 300 miles out from | >®%k With brand new $2 bilson the | into poetry, thus invading Cooke's Flattery, and had to put back | a > “4 $1 ‘eC be the back aa | Oe nee al ander} Somewhere in the printing estab 9 ae - 4 termaitial, nnd the extent ot her |Habinents of the government they| “WHEN DAVID GOT DAD'S have not been ascertained, | “%¢ $2 plates on one side and $1| NUMBER plates on the other side in the en david, son of en ye € Loses Rudder graving of this paper mo: | een ae SNe FONG, WAseording to reports received here} A curio collector offered $20 aplece | for specimens of the bill to he the ¢ weated to one of the other ked, in & distressed where amoking is not ial to The Star) b, C, May 28 “Madame "8 COOKE obliging waiter. IDMUND VAD 1919) may way - der, exctaimed sbrilly: ain't whe, daddy? (Copyright C. E. Jostings of Monroe breaks he's #06 | some tiny firecrackers which he In sisted were “lady crackers.” Why do you call them ‘lady crack ers’, won,” T asked, “I can't see why you call them that.” “But they are ‘Indy crackers,’ my boy insisted, “The man at the store +| said #o.” “But why not call them tleman crackers He looked at mo for a moment and then exclaimed, disdainfully: “They're lady crackers’ because they are little | and cute and make lots of noise, but ain't dangerous.” , chicken, | Mr. and Mre, Earle McIntosh of Bremerton come to bat with this story to combat the Cooke offerings “After our boy had come home from his first day at Sunday sch Inquiring meekly, “Who tx ypinz" we asked him what he had learn ‘Thus waking funny lore. | about Jesus So, much amused at David's voice,| “He replied, ‘Jewux wasn't there.’ As heard upon the wire, Pere thought himself to create fun, And thus he opened fire e e e ‘I'm the wisest’ man in all the worli—" 1 | (fe was stopped by interrup—) | ‘I've got the wrong number,’ David | said, And hung the receiver up.” —A special purchase of new Dolman Capes and Coats arrived for tomorrow's selling. —They are most unusual values at the price. —Capes are satins, serges and velours; Coats are velours; every garment is of late style; colors are navy, copen, pekin, tan, henna, rose and black. 200 New Silk Waists Called Pa up at his store. dy?" I queried. “Why » the Hoyeisan Maru, of th | of the western bank rackers’ or ‘gery | ‘company, had her bow dam- While on her way from here! The bills are issued by the federal On account of the poor| reserve bank of series Service, no particulars concern: year 1918 T and th i sias oad the Mra. Clement Deitch of 703 Pine nt. believes nobody in the Cooke fam lly ever “pulled” a better one than this: Little Helen was trying hard to master all the big words she - heard but had great trouble pro-| From Mrs, B, Foran, of 3602 Nor-| | nouncing the letter “S" but neverthe-|ton ave., Everett, comes this chal- } lens whe had picked up an abundance | lenge to Cooke: of slang. She had been visiting one| At lunch the other day I remarked: Each $2.19 e e Slewecon , | And here's a good one from Miss| of the neighbors and when she came|"I wonder why grandpa has not Indi P rot we Belle C. Anderson of Wihslow running home, all excited, she start | come home?” India Silk Waists, late models, A | “Traveling on the steamer er led them thus: “Oh, mamma, Mith nedy from Seattle to Bremerton one | Smith hath a new dreth and thee Hia grandson, 6 years old, piped| some tailored, others lace trimmed; up: “Gueas he’s out with the girls!” | they are in white, flesh, maize and |day recently was a young man, his | jeth lookth himply hell! Hin granddaughter, & years old black. An exceptional offering in wife and their son, Willie, 6 years! 300 Fresh New Lingerie Waists Each $1.45 —Made of splendid voiles and or- gandies; over a dozen new models to select from. All sizes from 36 to 44. These are especially good val- (with disdain): “Out with the girls! and Burning Erup-|‘itated skin, but you would wondertuty pretty eirt, not expect to be cured in this | young man began looking over that example of the “power of admira way. Neither should you ex-| 8 with admiring glances. Willie | tion” she over encountered Torture Victims. Only those who are afflict- boils and similar so- skin as ey can? ap- the real terrifying, fort that comes from disorders. | it imagine that there is. dy blaze of fire in con- it contact with your ten- er skin, and you can form me idea of the pain that be endured by the af- For the millions and lions of tiny disease germs! seem to burrow through 4 each one carrying a of fire, causg pain that it unendurable. the constant plea of afflicted is the oft-re-| question, “How can I) f from this constant 2” Not P iative, tem- ry relief that ble itching cil causes the) to abate for but real genuine re- shakes off the) hy condition. An eee cell is the tt cam be expected’ bm local treatment, such as tment, salves, lotions, etc., th is one reason why) fe diseases seem to hold th such tenacity. It is b they are incur- , because they are im- ly. treated, that they ar to be so stubborn and ficult to cure. fact is they are mis-| and therefore improp- treated. Because the attacks the skin, and pain and discomfort is ed to the surface of the these disorders are called | diseases.” But the real is a disease germ in the which multiplies by the lion, and sets up an irrita- in some tender location the delicate skin. *You can get Some little re- for the time being by “THE MAN AND HIS W OF 500, —_ Friday. Any sent Sie. ” under 16 not admi ALEXANDER The, Ladies Only sow * 5 not admitted nigh rubbing or scratching the ir- pect a cure from local appli- cations of lotions, ointments| the skin, for the simple rea- son that a cure must come oo the source of the trou-| e. | You must locate the head-| quarters of the disease germs) and cut off their base of sup-| pliés. The blood is saturated with them, and they will set) up their attacks on the sur-| face of the skin as long as they remain in the blood, no matter how much local treat- ment you take. A million gallons of local treatment applied to the sur- face of the skin will not elim- inate the germs of the dis- ease from the blood, and un- til they are eliminated your skin will never be free from the itching and burning dis- comfort. If you want relief that is permanent, then take a treat- its cause. Such a |remedy is S. S. S., the reliable old blood remedy purifier that so thoroughly cleanses |the blood, that every trace of | disease germ is routed out, and a new supply of rich red} blood is sent coursing} through the veins. 8. S. S. has been used suc-| cessfully in some of the worst cases of eczema and other skin troubles, and it can be! jrelied upon to cleanse the blood of the last vestige of the disease. S. S. S. is also a splendid tonje and system builder, and it builds up and adds new vigor to the whole system. Go to your drug store and get a bottle of S. S. S. today and begin the right treat-| ment for skin diseases. Then! write for free medical advice | about your own case. Ad-| dress Chief Medical Adviser,| |107 Swift Laboratory, Atlan. | ta, Ga. SEATS| NOW, SELLING) WHO KNOWS” ALL NEW WONDERS 51.00, © is War itted to Ladies ly Matinee ment that goes right to the] of the disease and|seat of the trouble and re- the skin to its for-| moves old. Right across the aisle was a and the also began to look and all at once fe slipped into the seat behind hi father, and, leaning over his shoul Ny ~~ DAVIDSON'S BREAD) th Eczema, Tetter, Ery- or other remedies applied to|-—— THE SIGN OF QUALITY BREAD BETTER NOW THAN BEFORE THE WAK Whea Your Title Is Insured One hundred thousand dol lars perpetually with the state Olympia sing in chorus “Your Title Is Good” And more than four hundred and fifty thousand dollars of additional assets Seattle office banks echo the same message. on deposit treasurer at here in our and our Seattle You cannot afford real estate and deny the protection Title Insurance. Washington Title Insurance Co. “Under State Supervi- sion” Assets More Than Half a Million BEDDING to buy yourself furnished by Of Quality—In Variety and Quantity Hanging Baskets—Evergreens in Tubs Big Tomato Plants in Plant Beans and Corn NOW. Try BIG ite Sweet Corn Ww | Do you think any girls would go out with him—so old and full of wrin- klew? | And grandson came back instantly | with this: “You bet your boots they would, if he takes them to a show, buys them tee cream cones, cake and ts don't care how old we | Miss Agnes Dobbs of Colby thinks thin “kid” story is about the beat “Tom had Just returned home from a trip to the eity and he was wear ing an attractive new blue and white shirt, whieh evidently had caught hin Nttle sister Marguertte’s eye. Musser, did Tom been on boat.’ R * * (Yod, dear.’ grab first prize: “Well, Muzzer, tf Tom falled off | F°*> © one the boat he would get all wetted, satan tees prethca nis eng | wouldn't he? And the fishes would | Siamnune Aout thelr beause As be jeat Tom alltt up and we wouldn't |Cyou erg te py, epor't wean denn: |have no more Tom, would we? ory, appt fered ect de at = ” Yen, and you are my arrow, too, | es, dear | he replied. | “Little Marguerite remained silent) | the Mra, Kauffman, of 6745 ith ave. for a few minutes, her face #24-/ romayne Ranta, of 148 75th ave Suddenty a broad smile blossomed | w tolis the world that this is better on her little face and, clapping her | 45, the Cooke brand: hafids, she exclaimed: ‘Ob-b-h, but! "A's we lived out of town, my moth |1'f have some new dresses made out | often ordered several samples of jot bis ehirter” jarticles went to the house, and, after | chooning, she would send the remain. der back to the store. One day twa Mwbien came to our hous, and when my little brother saw them on the bed he inquired: “Which one are you going to send back, mama Mra. M. Cromwell, of 2101 12th ave., offers the following in the One day ttle Peter sat watching | his mother clean a chicken. He was! very much {nterested, but not overly | cwettod until hin mother pulled the | windpipe from the chicken; where upon little Peter bounced up in great jexcltement and yelled: “Why, moth er, 1 didn't know chickens ate maca- Mra. G. W. Lambert, of 2207 East Olive nt., has @ good one on father, which she submits in the contest: My husband snores, His favorite hour is just before bedtime, when settled comfortably in his easy chair. he rattles the shingles. On one such occasion our 10-year-old son, in bed in an adjoining room, waking from elled excitedly: Mama, somebody is stealing our lawn mower! And Mrs. M. L. Grandy, of Brem erton, thinks the following is one to put the skids under Brother Cooke | My son Lewts was only three years |— old when we moved to Seattle from a distant state. As we walked up Second ave., Lewis looked up at the | buildings and exclaimed: “I don't See jany Atte!” HERE'S LATEST "FASHION DOPE | - Gay Ties, Short Coat, but Never an Umbrella | Mrw, M.A. Carty, of The Heights, Manette, thinks the following is the | best “sell” ever put over on her by her eight-year-old son He came home from his first shop. ping tour very much excited over A REAL IRON TONIC | Like (N. EB. A. Special to The Star.) | LONDON, May 28.—Exclusive tail |ors who make clothing for lords and dukes and war millionaires say that the “well<iressed man” must Never carry an umbrella a ralricoat.) | Wear ties of bright hues Have lounge coats cut short Confidentially, coats will be longer Next season or the next. But right now, soldiers would feel uncomfort able and self-conscious if they had to jump into long coats, after discard |ing short khakt ones, That's ar. gument advanced by a fashion jour Peptiron May Bo Just What You Need This Spring Probably nine people out of ten lost or are loxing thelr grip on alth in these trying months of aw |ful epidemics, exposure to damp, changeable weather, and association with sick pebple in overheated homes Depleted blood, puscles, shatte petite, dull, doay ngs in the hea@, irritability, all loudly call for the real tonic strength and nourish ment that Peptiron will give you. It is @ wonderful corrective of anemic tendency, paleness, languor, nerve exhaustion, Peptiron restores the red cor. puscles to the blood and gives a nat ural vigor and snap that keeps up purage, makes you and helpful to your family and friends, }and contributes wonderfully to th health of all. Remember this one s vitally, positively trye is a real iron tonic. Made Hood Co., Lowell, Mass. PLANTS (Wear loas of the red cor loss of ap y has also ousted the umbrella urope says. War pro’ the efficiency of a at, canes should be carried anyhow and an umbrella at one time Silk hats made their appearance }here and among pea Paris, but Mr, Balfc proper English gentler sticks to soft felt with ng dress, Clemen ceau won't wear a stove-pipe. The aristocratic French Gaulols prints the suggestion that a soft hat to match the color of the waistcoat, instead of the ugly, ancient silk hat, would be “dine and distin guished.” Tho Gaulois says it would need to be ornamented with an ar tiatic buckle, Probably gray would be substituted in case the waistcoat were pure white, tho the paper doesn't say #0. ery SUPERINTENDENT RESIGNS M. G. Meische has resigned as superintendent of transportation of the Rainier valley lines. T. H Nolan will succeed Melsche tem arily he has been superin. lent of transportation for three rs. Pots, Ready to Bloom EAR, Best PRINCE SHOWS WRATH LO N, y 28,—"Tt dam. was the forcible comment of of Wales on housing conditions, after tours of inspection. $4,000 IN WOOD I PARIS, May 28,—Unse | wooden leg of an ex-soldic jwith burglary, the police | $4,000 se it is | Let's go buy Boldt’s French Pas- try. Uptown, 1414 3rd Ay.; down- town, 913 2nd Ay K., belleves this is about ready to | no man would:carry both a | the Special Price Basement. ues. New Wash Satin Waists white and flesh. Each $3.95 —Smart styles with convertible collars, turnback cuffs | and trimmed with pin tucks down front. Colors are | Wild Animal Circus Is with’ {he Al G. Barnes four-ring cfr-| whips and pistol shots, and the girls cus will be in town at daybreak/in the big steel cages performing | Thursday, for a three-day stand. with wild beasts, They risk death Lions, ‘tigers, leopards, wolves, | that people may see just what a Hon, hyenas, camels, elephants, zebras|a tiger or a leopard can really do and what-not from the land of the|when patience and skill are really faraway will perform like human | combined in his training. |beings in big steel cages. For three days, at Fourth ave. and A traveling 200 valued at $1,000,- Q00 will be camped beneath the white |top of the largest circus of its kind jin the world, According to Thomas | Francis Heney, representative of the’ | main in Seattle. day afternoon the circus folks will gather in the white chapel of their own, when Deacon James A. Cresson will conduct services. Al G. Barnes has assembled from all parts of the world more wild ani mals than any other living circus man, and with his trainers he has broken them to do the very tricks that are performed by human. beings in other shows. * The girls who comprise his train: | ing staff have worked months in| winter quarters, training the jungle | brutes to do the stunts they will per-| form for the amusement of the crowd | It's like a Roman arena, 325 PIKE ST. Glasses Built for Comfort | suit the uses they are to be put | to. The heavy shell spectacles appearing eyeglasses for the street can both be made com- fortable, if rightly designed. We pay careful attention | to correct designing as we, do tha| to refracting your eyes for the proper lenses. The experience and judgment of either Mr. Huteson or Mr. Donahey will solve your difficulties. SHE LOST DIAMOND AT THE UNIVERSITY), Mina Helen Peycke, of Port Buke-|' $28 Pree STREET. jley, left her diamond cluster ring in a University of Washington wash |room last Thursday, When she went |back for it the ring was gone, She | reported her loss to the police Tues- i The National Standard -the BIG VALUE Roll of TOILET PAPER. Modern Bridge Work For Twenty-Five Years WIN J, BROWN | 1 bave been studying crown and | bridgework for a quarter of a cen- tury, and have worked faithfully to | LR ETOTNE master a system that ts safe, sani faeys¢s} tary and satisfactory. Other den tists can do it if they will work and Jearn. Skill and genius are acquired by experience and arduous labor. and inexpensive made with a view ;to durability and utility. | A tooth-brush will and cleanse every surface of my |sanitary bridgework; it is cleaner | than the average natural tooth, No charge for consultation and my work is guaranteed. TI do not operate on people's pock- etbooks. I have elevated dentistry to @ professional business standard. EDWIN J. BROWN x. 206 Columbia: streeg | | Due.in Town Thursday Fifty-two carloads of wild animals | Barnes circus, with the snapping of | |renore st, the Barnes cirque will aut cireus, two performances will be giv FE jen each day, with a parade each ¥ morning, traversing the principal = 1 downtown street section, On Sun tical @mpany a, Glasses should be designed to! easily reach | for office or home, and the neat |! 9g ‘Third Ave. In mind {f your gut are sore, sloughing and: bleeding you have Pyorrhea, socalled Riggs’ Die ease, which is a menace to good health. Weare the only in the Northwest who in this dread disease. Examina- tion and estimate free. Special care taken of ‘children’s teeth. Reasonable discount to ° Union men and their families, United Painless Das Inc. Cor. James St. Phone Elliott 3633. Hours: 8:30 a. m. to 6p, m Sundays, 9 to 12. For 30 Years SAFETY has been the first consideration of this institution when in- vesting the savings of its depositors. During this entire period we have paid dividends semi-annually and have, always paid withdrawals promptly. An account may be started with $1.00, and if opened not later than the 3rd of any month, will draw interest from the 1st of that month, BANKING HOURS Dally: 9 to 4 Saturday: 9 to 1 Saturday Night: 6 to 8 Washington Mutual Savings Bank 810 Second Avenue Assets, $9,600,000