The Seattle Star Newspaper, September 19, 1912, Page 4

SEATTLE STAR | “Wath 0100. ieAGla OF WEWSPATERS full leased wire news aetvice o Valted hp ofthe The Hiar Publisnt The Impending Peril of Whiskers It seems that side whiskers of the style epidemic in 1830 ate again prevalent in the British Istes—where they have been Known to break out in a spasmodic way ever ind that every ship landing at New York is dischargi cases of the most virulent type in our midst The quarantine laws do not cover the danger Gress has adjourned! since and con- THE STAR—THURSDAY Moreover, this pestilence has always existed in the neigh Borhood of Wall st. and about our theological seminaries | Brethren, the smooth face is in danger! Manufacturers of] the safety razor, your interests are imperiled! The barbers will not help, for the thing plays into their hands, The man with the burnsides has to go to a barber owing to the imprac ticability of skirting the coast of Galway with the facial lawn mower. It may burst forth at any time! The face an age first shows in the pepper-and-salt effect in the beard how can an old fellow seek a job pretending to be under tl Osler limit, and get away with it if he has cither gray or inted whiskers? . There is an old Spanish proverb that a kiss beard is like an egg without salt. But there won't go into the matter definitely here—to believe that Ameri- can women are against the neglected lawn of the countenance The sufi associations and Lea of Women's Clubs may help in this crisis. For a erisis it is. Back of it is the com- bined forces of plutocracy, priggishness, and barberism, Let it be rolled back from our shores if the victory calls for seas of lather. The voleano is slumbering Advanein an smooth is economic necessity without is we rea You May Be an Idiot Like Mr. A. L. | What with X-rays and physiognomists, we shall soon be without a rag of a secret left. You can't deceive these charac-| ter experts. They know a! about the meaning of every feature / At Cincinnati the other day a psychologist belonging to the University of Pennsylvania exposed the true character of peo ple possessed of large, flaring ears. These organs are stigmata) of mental deficiency, The more ear and flare the less brains.| Look your friends over—they may be imbeciles. Look in the] glass—YOU may be one Fifty-two years ago in the United States the character of @ certain person was in dispute. He was shown by affidavits to be a fool. Sworn testimony was read in public hearings show- ing that on one occasion this imbecile had bored holes in fie bottom of a leaking boat to let the water out! He was certain- ly a fool!’ Now mark how, after half a century, the psycholo | jence supports this testimony THE MAN WHO AS SAID TO HAVE DONE THIS IDIOTIC TRICK HAD} THE LARGEST AND MOST FLARING EARS KNOWN.) The time when this matter was in controversy was 1860.) ‘The affidavits were read from ny platforms and stumps dur-| ing the campaign. The man with the huge flaring ears was) ‘Abraham Lincoln! h Perhaps, after all, the psychologist is full of theory and} nes. Lombroso, as will be remembered, lad listed all the} Stigmata of degeneracy. The trouble was that in examining heads he sometimes dubbed the statesmen degenerates, and the murderers men of lofty type. After all, “by their deeds ye shall know them.” [Peecrcnone id FOR ONCE Seattle cheers Tacoma. The tail-end ball team of the Destiny city whipped the Spokane Indians yester- day and the Indians are the fellows.our Giants are “afeered” of FUNNY how the standpat papers play the game. Local standpat papers said Roosevelt's reception in Portland was a} frost and the Portland standpat papers said the colonel’s re- | Seption in Seattle was a frost. GOVERNOR WILSON is making the crooked big busi- mess fcllows feel awful sad these days. They picked Wilson When they found that Taft was a dead one and now Wilson deliberately insults them at every opportunity. IT COST “I-Am-a-Trimmer” Humphrey about $1,500 to get a practically uncontested nomination. Now watch his €ampaign barrel open with Dan Landon, progressive candidate,| giving him a real scrap. KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING. “What a grand old world this is! Have you ever seen a more Perfect day than this? “Has your salary been raised?” ‘ew boy at your home?” “Oh, no, nothing like that.” “Perbaps you have received word that you are heir to a fortune?” ‘Nothing of that kind has happened to me “Perhaps you have written a play that somebody has accepted for production?” “I'm not a writer. Why do you make such a suggestion?” “I'm just trying to figure out why you think the world is so grand and the day so beautiful.” “Oh, you're one of those who can’t understand why one may be optimistic without having some material reason for it, eh? By Way, I've just sold my home for $2,500 more than { paid for it months ago.”-—Cbicago Record-Heraid. ‘ IT DEPENDS “And so your wealthy old uncle, the baron, is dead! main in bis right mind to the last?” “We don't know. The will hasn't been opened yet.” Osten. Did he re Der Guck a — bee Dills “That new oday | Answer How?" | it won “He asked me how T enjoyed his “No, They found that out when apeech the banquet last night.” -they tried to ring it up. A RUDE AWAKENING embarrassed mo terribly stage curtain won't “TIME ALL FILLED bd = “Ieee that a society has been| “There goes a man whose life formed to teach women how to|was wrecked by a dream.” speak in public.” | “Must have been a realistic one.” “Well, thank goodness, they} “lt was, She sued him for breach an't add anything to thelr present|of promise and got $10,000 out of output in private.” tim.” THE ETERNAL QUEST ' NO SWELL JOINT = What's become of your Dabbler?” ‘Oh! he invented a health food and cleaned up a million dollars. What's he doing n ? < around BE friend | | Farmer (in the city) find an’ eatin’ how | Pedestrian—Ar any particular plac Farmer—Wall, not p'tickier I want ter # looking for looking too durned LAST BUT NOT LEAST Farmer John and Farmer Turmot were having @ talk over a glass of nut brown ale in the local inn, Though they bad striven not to speak shop, their talk had gradually veered round to the one topl¢e abott which it was really worth chatting. How's yer corn?” demanded Farmer T, “All right,” was the reply. “Pigs doin’ well?” “Fine,” came the “That little pony of yours—quite well?” . oe . “In good condition, My little pony went fourteen miles yesterday.” “Good crop of cabbages?” “Excellent “Glad to hear it answer How's the missus ?—Answers, London. SILHOUETTES “For a long time,” said the servant to her mistress, to ask who those black fa r in the pleture over the writing table.” “Those are silhouettes,” explained the mistress, They are the grandparents of my husband, and the little girl ia his mother asa child.” “Yes, but the thing that seems so strange to me ts that your hus band is white, while his ancestors were blacks.” Der Guckasten, “I have wanted A WOMAN'S WAY Ella—Refore going to sleep I have the habit of thinking over every unpleasant and spiteful thing that people have said to me during the course of the day sella—That is an excellent thing for you to do—but how can you get along with so little sleep?-—Der Guekasten, WHAT HE TOOK. It’s Best to Remember that every organ of the wonderful human body is dependent upon every other. If your liver goes wrong your blood will be impure; if your bowels are inactive your stomach and digestion will show it. And one trouble leads to another, eechams Pills have become the most famous and the most approved family femedy in the world. They are known for their wonderful ayd unrivaled power to cause regular, natural action of the liver and bowels. They are gentle, safe but sure. Beecham’s Pills benefit every organ of the body—brighten the eye, clear the brain, tone the nerves and increase vigor—because they Remove the First Cause of Trouble Special directions for women with every box. Sold everywhere, 10¢., 28c, ow Altogether No odds how bad your head aches; how miserable and ub+ comfortable you are from constipie tion, Indigestion, the desired resulta with ¢ arets. Clean your stomach, liver and bowels tonight; end the headache, billousness, dizziness, nervousneds, | tle sick, sour, gassy CANDY |A back seat was th But with a grunt Our hero turned it dowa, got mad, And took affront, y had; wa A RUMINATING LOVE The South Georgia lover poetical, but he has gre One wrote to his 5 “I would rather listen to your chewing gum than hear Caruso jsing.”—Atlanta Constitution, is not original etheart | Shoots Son-in-Law | for Mountain Lion TUCSON, Ariz., Sept. 19.—Shoot jing at what he supposed in the |darkness to be a mountain Hon, Os |car M, Hunt, of Los Angeles, mor. |tally wounded his son-in-law, Max | Smith Brezell, also of Los Angelos, early today on @ ranch near here, BOWELS SLUGGISH, LIVER TORPID, HEADACHY, BILIOUS?--“CASCARETS”, liver, stomach or bowels; how much your) Your torpid liver and constipated {ducing the misery, billousness ard! sluggish intestines—you always get) your head clear, stomach stomach, back-|cleansing, too, EPTEMBER HELPING FATHER FUSS Dorothy, aged 9, understands her father much better than her moth er does. This little episode took place at the breakfast table the oth- or morning Dorothy rises from her seat and goes over to her father, She hands him a& bow! Here, Daddy, meal Don't, Dorothy cautions her mother, “You know your father hever eats cereals for breakfast.” I know he doesn't, Marmsey,” Dorothy replies Then why bother him?” Oh, I just want to give him something to fuss about before he leaves for the office, He's been aw fully quiet this morning have some oat DOWNRIGHT HONEST “That was the meanost crook 1 ever ran across,” sald the police of ficer in a community where graft prevails “What has he done?” “He got me to fix up an fron clad system of ‘protection’ for him and his gang and then robbed the savings bank wher I put my rake off.”—Washington Star “Do you come to the train every afternoon because you expect your wife?” asked the sociable baggege- man, “Not exactly,” repiled the man with a disagreeable expression. “I merely want to make sure that she jan't on board.”—Washington Star. REAR RRAhh INDIRECT BENEFIT “Sorry you couldn't attend our banquet last night, doo tor, It would have done you good Thank you! me good. I have just pre weribed for three of the guests,”—Boston Transcript. Tt has done seeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeae ee ed THE REASON “Why did you beat your wife terribly?” Because she Hank.” “That didn't furnish a good rea son for beating her But there was whisky in it.” fell, why broke my whisky a little bit of did she break it “Because she told me when! came home with a jag to go and it off.—Der chasten WHAT HE GOT “And #0, after inviting your friends to a game dinner, you were; not served with any part of the bird.” “Ob, yoo; I got the bill.” —Smart Bet. WOULDN'T WORRY THEN Wife—But Jack, you are so reck- lees, Every time you take out the car | worry until you get back, | wish you would insure it. EASILY UNDERSTOOD “My daughter Gladys has become quite an Socutionint.” “Yen,” peevishly replied the next door neighbor, “so I hear!"— Answers, London “Th’ editer of th’ Beeleysport Whang is stickin’ his own type this week on account o' his printer havin’ a protracted birthday.” ache and all other distress; relieve bowels of all the sour bile, gases and clogged-up waste which is pro- A 10-cent box of Cascarets keeps sweet, liver and bowels regilar, and you feel cheerful and bully for months. Don't forget the children—their lit- insides need a good, gentle CATHARTIC 10 GENT BOXES-ANY ORUG STORE * 0 25 & 50 CI OXES RK WHILE YOU SLEEP Babies Not Only Cry For It They Fight For It ‘AOLSUM Seeeeeeeeeeeee or no vegetables!” y and we don't 4@ group of anti-ekirtettes house. have to be worn on the THE TRAGEDIES OF CHILDHOOD When the Family Cat Selfishly Appropriated Your Bread and Milk, SHSHH SHH SH HSHHHHHHSOHOFHHEHH OHHH HE HHO SHH OEHOHOOD mi DUSKY DAMLS OF INHAMBANE WIN GREAT VICTORY o LAW OR NO LAW, THEY WILL—NOT—WEAR-—SKIRTS ® POOH HTHH HHS OOOH HHH OOH OD 900000000009 00 000008 INHAMBANE, 16.—Mere man diamalty totally failed! girls of these % have won a| glorious victory! They don't have to wear skirts if they don’t want to, And they don't want to, so there you are! A few weeks ago the governor ordered the women to wear skirts Now, all the women of the col- ony have always dressed in a few} beads, a bracelet and a broad smile H The Bogom lady plow pullers met! and denounced the governor in un measured terms “Down with your law! East Africa, Sept The dusky | No skirts d @ parad- ing bunch of garder . for the women do the farm work here. “We refuse to be bound in skirts, | a hang what yon) tauntingly shouted as they governors reformers rioted in front of the governor stuffed pillows in| on windows, and modified > that skirts would only pets, | “Wear skirts yourselve: a very! brunette damsel shrieked in the! governor's secretary's right car, while another neatly bounced a stone off his other r. AT THE THEATRES THIS WEEK. Moore—Geo. Demerel Heart Breakers.” Metropolitan—MeKee Rankin in “The Typhoon.” Seattie—Billy Clifford in “The Girl, the Man and the Game.” Alhambra — Photoplays and vaudeville. Orpheum—Vandeville. Empress—Vandevill yaudeville, udeville and motion in “The Clemmer—-Photopl.ys and vau- deville, Melbourne Photoplays and vau- deville. Colorado Japs Draw | Lots to Follow Nogi GRAND JUNCTION, Colo., Sept. | 19.—Police who raided a meeting of | 50 Japanese here found many of | them lying on the floor, striking | their heads on chairs and tables | and wailing mournfully, Loaders of the party admitted that it had been planned to draw lots to de- | termine who should commit suicide } as an expression of grief for the death of the late mikado Burglar Grabs Pants | And Stops Pursuit SAN FRANCISCO, Sept. 19.— Startled by the sudden awakening of his victim whose house he was robbing, a burglar here made a} dash for the door, and, in passing, grabbed the pants of Bernard An derson, his pursuer™ Pursuit stopped. RRA RARER RRR RE If your paper is not deliv. ered regularly to your home every afternoon, and if it is not delivered in good shape, Please phone the circulation manager, Main 9400. The Star subscribers are entitled to per fect service. They are enti- tled to an early and a regular delivery. Boys who crumple up or otherwise mutilate the * paper should be reported. EERE EES * * Tea teenneneeeennd| \ “If you has failed again—|Skirta, look the other way!” } the refrain of the anti-skirtettes’ marehing song. Then the African belles hit the Pe agg men folks right in the stom- jac! . jmore vegetables to town, and the | Rich milk, malted grain, in po women who lived | moving out. |to do thetr own housework; and the Take no substitute. Ask for HORLK &reen goods groceries closed shop. That settled it; ,crawled into a hole and pulled the jhole in after him. He squashed Se skirt law. ; | The anti-skirtettes a | proudly through the conquered elty, | with a skirt, the sign of threatened bondage, trailing In the dust sore | ‘The bashful men reformers sent to London for blinders and ored eve glasses. 4 . HORLICK’ a: «inout MALTED MI “| The Food-drink for All For Infants, Invahds.and the nursing mother. don’t like They refused to bring any in town began The white folks had ‘A quick lench prepared in a Not in Any Milk Trast ’ the governor! To Readers of The Star Cheasty’s Haberdashery is glad to appear before readers of The Star after a summer vacation, It is a pleasure to greet our friends and acquaintances again, for we believe we can be of service to. you. We wish to emphasize the 7% fact that Cheasty’s has become a big, popular price house, where young men of all ages will find it pays to trade. On the second floor was established for the ex- Press purpose of*offering absolutely the best clothing on the ‘market at minimum prices. These suits, overcoats and raincoats are the latest cuts and the finest materials, many being from the celebrated House of Benjamin. Another featuté of our establishment is the co-operative plan of organization, whereby the employes become partners and share in the the This brings. us especially close to the public, and gnatantees the best and most friendly service to visitors, We hope that we may become still better ace quainted in the future, fortunes of business. Cheasty’s Haberdashery a | Second Av. at Spring St.