The Seattle Star Newspaper, August 5, 1912, Page 4

A STEADY ONE Not what we give, but what we share, For the gift without the giver is bare; Who gives himself with his alms feeds three, Himself, his hungering neighbor and me. —Lowell Twenty-three thousand dollars. : : ust $23,000 given by the people of Seattle in four days for the ntenance of the Children’s Orthopedic hospital. It’s great! Scores of crippled little boys and girls know today that there'll be plenty of money to help make them well and strong. Scores of fathers and mothers who have found that they will have to send their children to the hospital rejoice to think that they will receive every care and attention. ane Women and girls of Seattle gave many dollars and many]"ye p-wen, she bah to be hours to the success of the Kirmess. And the men helped 4] giad to have a job. ey all deserve the sincere thanks they got - - “ty me Aaori the best results of the ieirmees is that warm A CLRAR EXPLANATION feeling about the heart of comradeship and human sympathy it engendered. MR. ROCKEFELLER has just issued his annual advice to the people to eat less in the hot weather, Additional relief may be obtained in country houses by not lighting the kero- sene lamps on warm evenings.—New York Evening Post | A matter whose adjudication will rock the ded | Cal., a lovely bride off Mr | a, Mra. B.--Woman's work ie never Justice is stuck very foundations of society is to be « Mrs. Emily Foster, of San Dieg three months, has heen kissed by her laundryman, and Foster, the husband of three months, has got a staff of lawyers who are trying to find a statute that fits the case. They favor an accusation of battery. But Noah Webster defines a kiss as a “salutation expressed by contact with the pressure of the lips,” while the California statute defines battery as “willful or unlaw- ful use of force or violence on the person of another.” The reader will note that both Mr. Webster and California make “force” or “violence” a concomitant This at first glance leaiay'l toto verte ie Ga would indicate that Mr. Foster, the person of three months |ig to sell a second-hand car.” marital bliss of experience, had that laundryman’s goat. But} — now cometh the lady who received the kiss and she sure rattles all parties concerned, including the statutes, the court and Mr. Foster. : “The laundryman,” she tells the district attorney, “was not one bit loud, boisterous or tumultuous. You see,” she adds. “there are lots of ways of kissing and many kinds of kisses There's the kiss of welcome and of parting. Then the jong, lingering, loving one; also the stolen one.” The reader will see at once that the laundryman didn’t fall “Some men will take longer to buy an automobile than to select a wit “Well, just think how much politics. . “Taft will sweep the country, “Wilaon will sweep the country,” At this point dad took « hand “Never mind about “Who's going lo sweep the kitchen? Stella Penelope Perey mit the question to arbitration OF MORE IMPORT The daughters of the household, ardent suffragiets, were talking Skeet ehnenK nena eninaeeeen eee! * THE STAK—MONDAY, AUGUST 5, 1912. Nothing Seriou BEila—Do you think It ts unlucky to open an umbrella in the house? I never thought of it; our) roof doesn't leak |MODERN WAY OF ADJUSTING A DIFFICULTY Percy—-Will you marry me? Never. Don't say that; let's sub- declared Mabel. asserted Maud. “Roosevelt will sweep the country,” answered Margaret, who's going to sweep the country,” sald he. -Loulsville Courier-Journal. ct ly y y mat o * all over himself kissing that lovely Lian A matron, end so the|* His CHOICE * element of “violence” or “force” is removed from consideration, | » “I don’t want oatmeal,” screamed the kid. * When is kissing “battery”? They've got that laundryman) # “You must have oatmeal,” sald his father ® ander bail to try this issue out on him, and it seems to us that/* “Never foree anything on a child Uke that.” interposed uncle, w& r Paget a nail & who has theories. “Always give the child a choice. * the issue is vital to every husband, at least to every one who}, “All right,” said the father. “Now, kid, you cam havqoatmeal, & indulges in laundry. ‘ . ® oF you can have a clip on the jaw, which is it? * fhat if it proves that this laundryman's kiss was one of ¥ The child took oatmeal.—Pittaburg Post. * those lingering, I-could-die-doing-this ones without the clement * of tumult essential to battery, will the courts throw the sanctity CHEEK ER AER K as sed. Ba el i Ria ial 8 of the honeymoon around the laundryman, the butcher's boy PURELY ORNAMENTAL and the ice man? Shall it be judicially announced that such as A,small applicant for assistance was being interviewed by the charity these shall go unwhipped of justice provided they approach the} worker. lady of the house without loudness or tumult? Forsooth, the possibilities for such adjudication of this question would be “Yes, but what is he?” something to make every bride wear a baseball mask or every “Oh, ‘e's me stepfather.” bridegroom do the washing. sl “Yes, yes! but what does he do? SS. 1 ce Re = busses, or what?’ AN ANXIOUS correspondent wishes to know whether the ural for bull moose is “bull mooses” or “bull meese.” There no plural for bull moose. There is but one bull moose. ““E’s me father.” comprehension, Tit-Bits, “No, ‘e “What t# your father?’ asked the latter. Does he sweep chimneys or drive “O-o-w!” exclaimed the small applicant, with a dawning light of t done nothin’ since we ‘ad ‘im.”—London Chicago Record-Herald. The Horrible Heathen Shucks! That new king of Siam isn’t no king. The black heathen ruler says to his ministers of “Apart from the official side, I consider myself as being on the same footing as any ordinary person. Accordingly, henceforth you will levy taxes on all lands and house property, which is considered my personal possessions, in the same manner as they are levied upon those of the people.” What do you think of that for a king? Actually opens the door to the tax collector and invites him to help himself. Good- fess gracious, but this King Maha Vauiravudh must be a heathen person indeed! What a horrible example for Christian kings and captains of industry who escape taxation by perjur- ing themselves like gentlemen, YOU SAID THAT YoU WOULD Meat me HERE PROMPTLY AT TwO THIRTY AND IT IS NOW AFTER THREE. inance: Observations All it wants That's all. MODEST Puget Sound Electric monopoly! is that city council should violate city charter FIVE FINE Sunday concerts in five different city parks yesterday. That's the kind of summer program the people like. WHEN Seattle gets the $100,000 stadium project really NEXT TIME {0 under way, we won't have that “cheap” feeling whenever we think of Tacoma’s great stadium BEEF barons are “as good as their word,” anyhow. Fol- lowing dissolution of trust, they said prices would soar. And they're aviating right now. _ NEARLY a million dollars’ worth of old Sherry consumed in Madrid yesterday, and not one call for seltzer water this morning. Several great wine houses burned. BREAKING into society is not always ultimately profit- able. Look at that young fellow Guthrie who got into the swellest homes im Chicago and came away with some $350,000, But he’s in jail now. z NOW LET'S see what our councilmen’s words are worth Most of them told the people before election they would obey strictly the franchise provision in the charter which the trac- tion monopoly wants them to ignore now. BLAMED Wf 1 DIDN'T FORGET ALL ABOUT T evenretr. WELL, (tL BET YOULL NOT FORGET IT THE A BIG convention hall for Seattle would result in bringing many more national conventions here. It’s a good plan for the| x ** ** *** RRA KRAAKAA AKER RRA people to keep the idea in mind, and take it up as early as|* A GUILTY CONSCIENCE * possible. Kansas City erected hers largely by dollar ‘sub- “You ought to have seen Mr. Marshall when he called upon * scriptions. * Dolly the other night,” remarked Johnny to his sister's young * st ER EERE MOREL: ER * man, who was taking tea with the family, “I tell you he looked *& —— aaa SR iz fine ta there alongside her with his arm——” * | “Johnny!” gasped his sister, her face the color of IN THE EDITOR'S MAIL |: agg * Well, so he did,” persisted Johnny. “He had his arm——" * “John!” screamed his mother, frantically, * Adna, Wash., Aug. 1, 1912, jeandidate, Saould ft fall to my|* nWhy,, whined the boy, “I was——" * Editor The Star——Dear Sir: 1) lot (and I think it will) to be nom- ud Meg: a hs father, sternly, “leave the room!” + Just received She Star containing |™ated aud elected to this office, I ene Jatt, Seying 08 he Welt: * ; hall 6 ee se * 1 was only goipg to say that b r “ae the flattering article about me as marenlt and a eee yop * London Opinion ener ee eee H candidate for the office of state in-|in such a manner that no man or|* ** * S*KAKAKKKAKARKKAKKKR RR surance commissioner. I most cer-|}woman will ever regret having 7 tainly appreciate your kindness, as|given ime their support. Amaln GETTING THE VOTE ve been advised on every hanA|thanking you for the article re- Lottie—How goes the candidate on the suffrage’ that 2 complimentary notice in The ferred to, I am, yours very trul Ster is of the greatest value to any Ok H. O. FISHBACK, many votes? Hattie—She addresses her 80. year-old constituents as “girls,”—~Lite, tte ticket get so sf It a modern hotel?” “Sure; the tips always amount to more than your bill.” COMPARATIVELY EASY “It te hard to lose the savings of # lifetime,” “Ob! not so hard. I know of « doxen men with schemes that you could go into.” | hl “First baseman Milo Mayes of th’ Beeleysport baseball nine made \@ boneheaded play. He got struck on th’ | bean with th’ ball an’ sur vived.” She—But I don't love you enough to marry you. He-—That don’t matter, I won't be home much anyway. A lady from old Herculaneum Could never get through her fair cranium That the mixture of hue That men cotton to r and scarlet ger Can't Help Himself “My husband is particularly Hable to geasickn remarked the lady passenger. Could you tell him what to do in case of an attack?” Tain’t necessary, mum,” plied the captain; “he'll do re- it,” Henri Bernstein, the dramatist, is now the prince of the French} boulevardiers. This ie how he achieved that great distinction: He bought 147 paire of pants, and rented a house to keep them in—that is, all except the palrikk ek kekthe ehh kk tke he takes out walking with him. * * _—_— * WHERE THANKS ARE DUE & CARRERE RRR RK * * *\*% Pat (to doctor)—If Oi live, ® + RIVAL BATTERS %| * doctor, shure Oi'll have you to * * *) & thank for it. * mx «©The Little Fan—Me brudder did Pat's Wife—(somewhat prej- & ® led do battin’ in de Ragweed &/% udiced against the doctor)— *| ® league wit’ an average o' tree *|% And if you die, Pat, you can * * eighty. *|)* thank him, too.—Judge. * * The Littlest Fan—Dat's. | * * nuttin’. Me mudder’s battin’ t|t#ket kee ARR RR RRR! w average in de Hair-brush & rey emymprer peed * league ts .900,—Kansas City ® THE REASON * Star, *} Canon Rhoades Bristow, who is Oto eee eee ee eee 2. 2 The Illinois national guards will make fine soldiers, THBY Refused to march in a rain be cause they were afraid of the water, “Willie,” sald his father, just as the young hopeful had given vent fo a vociferous oath, “how dare you say such a thing, and right be- fore me, too?” “Well,” answered Willie, “how did I know you wanted to swear first?” Hogan—Phwat makes ye swally all your dinner in two minutes? Are yes atin on a bot? Grogan—lIt's for the me dyspepsy, Moike. Sure the doctor tould me to rist an hour after atin’, and how elee am Ot goin’ to git the hour of rist in onless Ol ate lotke the mischief? good = av Flowery hey seem a well-atched pair,” “Oh, yes, botanteally.” “What do you mean?” HENDERSON WILL TRAVEL MILKY WAY IN AN AUTO NOW; HE GIVES SOME GOOD ADVICE TO CONSUMER A. N. Henderson is going to follow the milky way in an auto, He used to do the job on foot and on dinky electric cars. But it’s getting to path, something like 150 in territory. Henderson will have auto, You ete, Henderson follows that milk whieh reached your porch In a bottled state from the time it had been taken from the cow, Seattle supply all of the milk other Snohomien, Lewis, Pierce, Kitsap, Mason, Whatcom, Jefferson and Chetan. In all, there are about 800 dairies which make up the milky way which Henderson traverses. Hea- hief alk Inspector, of Seattic, working in the aie ble of health and sanitation. It's Bis duty to see that the milkmen do gather by the river and do not gx» periment in powtgraduate chemip- u Nie inspects dairies, wagons, milk trains, stores, restaurants and ev- erything else where milk ts dis- tributed before it gets to the ultl- mate consumer, In the past six months he made over 1,900 tests, bacteriological and chemical. A bactertological tose is to determine the degree of cleanliness of the milk. A chem- feal test shows the fat substanc: contained in the milk, Henderso: cloned up 20 dairies during this pe riod and made 13 arrests. Every producer of milk, a@ dairy- men are called at the milk inspect ors office, must first sign up stated number of ru before h permitted to ship any milk into arth Every milk train is checked up as it comes into town and sam- ples taken. Should there be a re- currence of either bacteriological or chemical deficiency in any mitk, nun ue om a “Brown's quit knocking the “What's the reason?” “He's just discovered that he owns a plumbing shop.”—Detroilt aeeeeeee Ce DADDY ME. Little Eva was only @ baby girl, round, as children will. Finally, father offered to Me on the bed till she fell asleep, and carried her off, greatly to mother's delight. ] The minutes passed—10, 15, 20 began to wonder what had happened to father | sowing, but ® a few moments the of naked feet. . Nearer came the steps, and an doorway, finger raised for silence. “Hush, hush, mummy!” she sa laat!"--London Journal, =e The Sorin Offa Dor, | mo »., august 3—the detroit bai jball team havin made a face at }ban jobneon, and ban johnson havin said nauty, nauty, boys, | an sirprised at you, the games will now go on as per skedyule on the ievel, can you beat this lguy ty cobb as a press agent for hinself theres only one other In the hole world that’s tn his class, and that is teddy rosenfelt, unanimous choice of himself for next presa- dont of the u. s. and ty has got more ginjer than teddy, you mite not think this was #0, but I can prove it if teddy was to just go about his bisiness every day, telling ole dock about how ter run the out look, nobody would know he was on erth, he wouldent be as im- portent as a married man's opin- yon } so he has to get out where folks} can hear him and he has got to holler, the country Is for me, ain't you follers, yes, we are but ty, my goodniss, the kind} of bais ball that ¢ can play would make him famus if he} never opened his except at} meal times, dnd dident punch! nuthing but a time clock. stealing bases is for him just like picking pennies out of a blind man's cup, and any time he }isn't pushing out 3 or 4 home |runs a week there must be sum- thing rong with his nourishment. | Tf you dont no more than look at the big type in the sportin/ page, you get a flash at ty’s mon- icker about every uther day, he is the spotlight kid of the dia mond all rite. and yet this frolicksome youth ain't content, he has to clime up into the grandstand and bust a guy tn the beezer, and get hisself to succeed Canon Benham, as chairman of the Poor Clergy Relief corporation, has had a large and varied experience of life in the un- derworld of London. He once had an amusing experi ence at a christening. Infants usual- ly cry while undergoing the cere- mony, but this one was as quiet as a lamb, Throughout it smiled cheer. fully in the Canon's face “Madam,” he remarked later to the young mother, “I must congrat ulate you on the little one’s be- havior, I have never christened a child that has behaved so well as yours.” “No wonder he behaved so well,” was the unexp ed reply. “His father and I have been practicing on him with a pail of water for the last ten days.”—M. A. P. Mistaken Chauffeur—Didn't you hear me blowing my horn? Victim—Yes; but I thought per haps you were a candidate for the presidency. CORRECT Governess—Tommte, what ts the e “She is a society bud and he is a blooming idiot."—Boston Tran- seript, ° future of “I diagnose” Physician's Child Miss Brown,—-Life, I operate,” TAKING NO CHANCES, milk there Hea lens milkman in Seattle indexed. He know, fete bis milk trom dairy, He knows 4 has an average record Henderson makes m ‘ness and beste |ment of every dairy aoe |4 disease 1s reported. whose milk bi barne clear dairyman's mite ithe job to know what is the cause, enderson, “duly, ttle's worst month average standard of milky here. In August, 1911, | greater death rate. ‘There le ne | question in my mind that ot | months show } creon is @ | Colorado Agrieuttural j has been milk inspector tm jfor four years, * “The people can do |Get good milk in one week jean ina year,” they would ring me whether they ap = |milk they can get it long way toward Improving: eral standard, All vere their | to tell me who dell Our records will show whether it good or just barely passable” — ——$———--eeaemne A. N. HENDERSON the Inapector at once gets busy and traces the milk to its exact source of location. The farmer is notified, or the central dairy to which he ships, and if things do not immedi itely Improve, the city simply re fuses to let milk from that dairy go into town. Henderson observes another test upon milk. Every case of conta gious disease i« reported to him Henderson finds out who delivers AT THE THEATRES THIS WEEK, Moore—Dark. Metropolitan——Dark, Orpheum—Vaudeville, Empress —Vaudeville, Pantages — Vaudeville, Grand—Vaudeville ang pictures. r Clemmer—Photopleys " deville. atm Meibourne—-Photoplays and yas deville. a 2 & ed rich.” ‘s distantly related to a man who Free Preas, seeeeeee® Se ee ee ed ANT WELL . but she jibbed when bedtime came | - sean THEY AREN'T Wisk * ' and at the end of a half hour mother She continued with ber! silence was broken by the pit +pat} instant later Eva May stood in the) “I've got daddy off to sleep at id. suspended, and pritty near start & strike, and make poor old fat byron bankroft johnson travel about 12,000 miles, and scare the liver out of ben shibe and frank navin and all the uther magnits, just so folks wont forget he is \why all these flies come Peevish B on the job e ° bee we are having good weather/is a first class place” here. street for the same johny must be strangers in Gold Medal, London, 1911, Largest Sale HIGH GRADE Tea tn World, Ridgways Golden-Hued Iced T Sparkling, cool, satisfying, healthful, The best and saftst drink for Summer, Try our most popular brand Ridgways “ Five O'clock * 750. a pound—costs less—goes further? Ie Sealed Air-Tight Quarter, Half and Pound Pgs) All High-Class Grocers Order Trial Package \fO-DaYt coo LIBERAL y Credit Store We want you to know the convenience of our liberal credit system. When you have an account here you a Able to buy the clothes you want just when you want them We want you to inspect our styles and note our pre You will find in every department for men and women Hi Tf newest styles in different garments at prevailing prices You may open an to and cash is not necessary. morrow, 1332-34 Second Ave., Near "*Seattle’s Reliable Credit House”