The Seattle Star Newspaper, September 23, 1909, Page 6

gurgled out. Itahed daily by ‘The & ing Oo, A STONE AGE HOG “When a man has enough to live on with a reasonable Amount to age he still has some manly vigor left with which to enjoy life. of comfort, he ought retire at an when Thus said George L. Phillips, an Ohio judge, who says he will quit the bench and the law Let any number of men get together, in the name of re form, and pass a resolution to the effect that when a man| has acquired enough he shall quit, and they de would be nounced as socialists or Yet isn’t this the true philosophy of life and of social worse. economics? By hook, crook or honorable effort a man piles up $1,000, ° Dey Dubligatet Each Od- der’s Berformance, But Now Dey Dubligate Each Odder’s Disparag- ings. 000. are always more or less debasing. 1,000, your millionaire doesn’t stop at a million Just, stronger and really viler than most all other lusts, has gripped him. He grows old, feeble, vigorless, piling up money that means worry, envy and hatred of him while he’s living and war among his children when he’s dead. He has invested mind, heart, and body in enslaving himself, and there is no vigor in him with which to enjoy life. Look at Judge Phillips” plan from a social and economic standpoint, and it appears to be the solution of most all of civilization’s problems. ‘When a man has enough to enable him to reasonably enjoy life to its end, let him quit! Quit what? Why, it's simply quitting the taking for himself what others need and what he doesn't need for himself. Suppose that, in man's very early day, a big, strong fel- low, stronger physically or mentally than the hundred other fellows of his tribe (society), killed a fat elephant and under- took to keep it to himself, while his fellows went hungry What would society of that time do? It would surely eat that elephant, and maybe the would-be monopolist, too, They'd look on the latter as a robber, a hog and altogether a bad thing for society. If they had no income tax laws to make him di- Vide, they'd make him do it by force of numbers. They would be so socialistic as to not permit him to let rot what meant life to the community, and what he had secured by luck, spe- cial advantage or special personal ability. Maybe these bar- barians wouldn't think exactly along this line, for they would be thinking with their stomachs. But, aren't there a whole lot of millions of people of our own civilized times who are thinking with their stomachs? He can enjoy every comfort on earth, and pure luxuries But, in 999 cases out of The money While “freezum” helps the com-; The sensational feature about plexion of the hamburg, it doesn't) that garage fire is that a pipe and Glways please the alimentary canal. | .4¢ 5 cigarette is blamed for It. Among other reasons for increas b " mg ‘is taneany| Baby farms are not the best argu- ‘thinks it can use the money. ment that cam be adduced against | race suicide. Judge Hanford got back at nr| Some joy rides end so abruptly as to be painful. conservationists, but not until they had all gone home, ' traveling man was vexed.|car pulls in. The crowd begins to tm his chair in the Butler | get on. And the forgetful one haa) i grumbied to himself. the choice of hastily doing her for-| friend arrived, the trouble | gotten errand and losing a 00d | | seat all the way home or of passing “Now, I don’t mind a little guy-| up the errand and retaining the the hefty one. “It helps | seat. and makes people remem-| Now the newsles for a small sum j}are acting a8 proxy passengers, ‘But when a dinky newsboy hails | They board the car with the women the street and asks me, in| who want to employ thelr time dur-| of 50 Interested | ing the wait. The baggage is de-| if I wear a trunk strap/ posited in the seat and along with! I think I got a kick| it « newsy to act as guard. Many | | are the disputes with later passen- | | gers, but the sharp-tongued little | merchants can usually hold their remarked own and the seats. “LT had to hand) A young Capitol Hill woman went | down to the union depot the other| “He was about two years past evening to meet her father. The! grammar school, and he had a big! lights were not the brightest when and one of those going-on-a-(the train came tn. She rushed vacation frowns. He blows along-| gayly up to one of the passengers, | side and asks: | Said, “Hello, daddy,” threw her “Hey, officer, are you @ public) arms about bis neck and kissed) Servant, like the papers say? him several times. “Might call it that,’ t told him. The man thus greeted made no “Well, carry me grip,’ he says. resistance. When she was through “And he didn’t wait to give me a| he politely asked If there wasn't chance at him.” {some mistake. Dhere was. The ——— jgirl fled. The man was far too Newsies who sell papers on Pi- | young to be her father. | oneer square, where the suburban | | cara leave, have found anew source! The first 1910 derby hat has} of income. Some of the cars stand| arrived. It is going to be a hard for as long as 10 minutes before| winter for the longtaced . man. | the scheduled leaving time. There| The derby this year js tall and ta-| is usually a crowd waiting to board | pering, and must be worn high on the car aa soon as i! pulls in, and| the head. Seats are at a premium long before; Last season the chubby faced the car starts. }man had to wear a chubby little _ Women from suburban towns,| derby to be in style. The combt- waiting for their cars, often re-|nation made his face look Iike a member some little errand they | half eclipsed moon. This year he meant to do while in the city. The! will look like King Ed himself. coming. "Got time to tie a dog?” “He had his nerve,” ESCENT LANDMARK “Yes, I've been back to the village, and took a look at the old swimming hole, But it had changed mightily.” “How had it altered?” “There was somebody actually swimming in it.” | pomed In the path of real scientists. Bote of Dem Brought Back! Blenty of Proof, But, ' Neider Brought Back der Pole. BY FRED SCHAEFER, “For why wasa you diagueesed Ike @ door mat, Osgar? Wass you going skating?” “Pootish mutt, vot you are, Adolf. i am a exploder-—-1 haf yust explod et der nord pole.” “Cheap imitation vot YOU are! 1 dincofered id myseluf.” “Be careless how you accuse der pole of being twins. I alone fount id, vulgar swiper,” “Bot You voult snatch my law rela unter der imbression dey wass kartoffel salat’ My discofertes vill change der map of der vorit!” nd my goot right hant vill change der map of your face, frost bitten fourflusher! How dit you reach der pole, yet?" “Vell, I vish to haf no conserfs tory mit you abould it, but I startet from Hee-haw und reached id in 16 marches—nine by Sousa und dor reat by Victor Herbert-—und den darted der recorta so aa nod to dis- turb der Argtig stillness, you blub- ber-nosed yokel. Dot tes vot I dit.” to 80 degrees below centipede, | hat “Bah, you are merely enviable. | blenty of goosefiesh, ha. ha, ha!” | discofered vot Innguage iss ad der| “Listen, low browed Har, in my) pole.” |party sefenty-alx feet wa: “Voll, vot wass id? in fact our whole subbly of pickeled | “Poliah, of course. Teehee-hee!"| picks foot wass rendered un-uneless “Don'd giggte me ould, golt brick | Und den we lifed on der fat of dem er. How many Eskimos dit you| ven dey wase rendered. After dot! haf mit yout we fell back on our dogs.” “Two, besttes a kimono.” “Bo? Den you wass after all nod “Idtotic toe faker! servatings did you take, ask me/ dit der dogs lift! dott Eee dournal Wa Polar Gxplorer “All af youre I could find, you ston | amateuf.” “Musk ox vot you are! of dogs drew your aletst” “Frankfurters. Most of der vay jt hat dem hitched up mit horse rad- ishes. Und you, pole pilferer, how ait you lift ven dere wass no mari-| nierte walrus left to eat? | “Oh, dot wase easy, When id got Vot kint “ BY FRED SCHAEFER. At any rate lowed all the aleohol. $4 deg. 10 min. N—Shot 17 musk |!t seems to have put more spirit ‘oxen. Wonder what they lve on. jinto him. Haven't seen the sun for Muskmelons, probably. Eoyah, my |4 ¥eek prize Eskimo, has hay fever, This |*#0l instead of sextant! and a grand piano Is his inducement ee aE for accompanying me to the pole.| $9 deg. 36 min. N.—-Almostt Saya codler climate will cure {tthe | hay fever, not the grand plano. lonly September. 82 deg 33 min. N.—Pemmican running low. Giad of ft. Pemmi- can is too mach like breakfast food —you have to eat something with it or you can't eat it. Joy! Found much gnawed ham bone left by my | rival. Annexed = it. “Necesatty | knows no law,” ts the law of the | Aretio cirele. Besides, amateurs should not leave their dainties ex of life. Had counted on moving pic- ture rights, Not even any fish Ab, for a can of sardines. If we eat the harness, how are the dogs going to draw ue back? | 89 deg. 69 min. N-—Opened a) sealed tube of documents belonging | to my rival. All a mistake. Thought it contained kidney beans with to mato sauce. Ate a bottle of con- \genied mucilage. Last thing left Pasar OBE |that will stick to the ribs. Only a 84 deg. 17 min. N.—Wealth of ico |iittie while longer, and then fame, here. Am @ socialist in one Way. | giory, success. I believe there's an unequal distri- a) } bation of wealth of the world.| 99. deg. N.—Hoorawr! Planted | Don't know where my rival is, but tne fing, but don't know if it will) plainly there's a great coolness be-| grow, Marked the spot by burying tween ws, wherever he is. lfour of my toes and an ear as evi-| idence. Then smoothed the snow) 87 deg. 22 min, N.—B-rerr it's over them so that my claims can‘t| frigid. Slept with the dogs to keep | possibly bé disproved. Exkimaux | warm. (Entomological note: Are-|gave three cheers in thelr native | tle cold does not kill fleas.) Ice |tongue (and native land, for that) pack constantly moving. With pa-| matter), I am willing for the world) tlence, pole could be awaited at to pass judgment. By borealis, 1} Newfoundiand, but my lecture dates wonder whether my rival pertahed, | permit of no procrastination. Can’t)or merely got back with the goods operate alcohol stove. Eeyah swat. | fret? IN LITTLE OLD NEW YORK BY NORMAN. Buying Her Clothes. city, is about to establish a Mbrary New problema in the ethies of/0n the fourth floor of its building courtship were prosented in night | for the use of Its employes and oth-| court when Jacob Liebowits, aged| et tenants of the structure. The 22, was arraigned before Magis-|foom set apart Is a big one, and trate Finn. The complainant was! W!!l hold 40,000 to 60,000 volumes, Rose Epstein, aged 19, who claimed although not more than half that that Jacob had been annoying her.) ™&@ny will be put in at present. The When Liebowitz was asked by the| New York publfe library has agreed magistrate to give his side of the | to supply the fiction and Nght titer | case, he declared that he had been | 4ture, while the company will pur buying Miss Epstein shoes, dresses | Chase reference works, A librarian and coats, He was commencing to| #04 several assistants will be em+ love her, he added, as a sort of ex-| Ployed planation | | Yeu, Miss Epstein admitted, it Hard-Earned Pennies. was true that Liebowitz had Hardly a day passes that some | bought things for her, But, she as-|new thing is not offered for « jserted, he was very unreasonab those hardy merchants of small He will not marry me, your hon vital and unlimited courage, the or," she sald, “and nelther will he/gtreet sellers, A recent offering allow me to keep company with/is the Chinose hat, a paper head | anybody else , covering of a design popularly sup Battery Dan” Finn pondered. d to be affected by the Chinks, | Here was a c with complexities; | which te up flat and which has jone In which justice must be dealt! « black quoue of twisted paper dan jout with an impartial hand, and off! ging from it. ‘There must have |the top of the deck. Manifestly, a|jeon thousands of these sold with |sentleman who was buying @ lady's in the past two weeks clothing for her must be considered | pjgw much money do you suppose }a6 having rights in the premises,)4 man can earn in a day by selling | while on the other hand, tf he 4id| yong and joke books at 1 cent each jnot choose to become legally and) ‘pat was the problem which occur morally her lord and master red to me as I saw a shabby old man not right that he should expect to| crying them near the Brooklyn | keep he eluded from other male! bridge entrance If he sold 100. } companionship. }his profit might be 40 or 50 cents. y7y The lady's cause triumphed. Fin! and it looked to me as if It would |" |discharged Liebowitz, with a warn: |; him about a week to sell 100, oe f ing either to marry Misa Mpstein or) at the rate which prevailed while I Pe My mind his own business jobserved hin | ee g Cds | : insurance Library The reason a girl is afraid of ‘Tho Metropolitan Life, which al-| man on 4 dark piazea is she ls go ready maintains @ gymnasium forling to get him to take her out the use of its 3,000 employes in this there THE STAR~—THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 23, 1909. frozen, , Und vot ob-| frostbitten, bat dogbitten, Und how’! jion still goott “Oh, dey got a bite, too. We hati | POINTED PARAGRAPHS. 1A foot and his boat OSGAR UND ADOLF DISCOFER DER POLE TOGEDDER BUT APART flean along. Dit you nod see my “| flack natled on der pole?” “Flack? batt towel.” “Vell, dot wase der flack-—id ine der Turkish Mack.” “I'm sorry, but T ate id. wane tripe.” “Und here you come und claim to be der ortchinal. Your deplorable neen ies duplicitious!” Bah! I haf gifen my life to diss I only fount a Turkish 1 tot id task, olt snow owl!” Und you still haf your life? Swindler! Why, 1 wass veloomed home mit singing societies.” “Dot ts noddings—I wass vel léemed home by soctetion vich wasn ta ofercome to sing, Tell me dim ¥en you wase by der pole, wass der "Yeas, id tastet excellent.” ’ are soon rocked apart. ; There's nothing so gloriously un , certain as the law | The lese she means it the louder & woman can laugh | Beware of the man who has a ;Rood story to tell you in a whisper Even a very tall man may not come near up to your expectations. “Tolished language is often uned tn telling the upvarnished truth. If matrimony doesn't make a Oh, why did I bring a par-| Yoman wise there is no hope for} a | her, Trying to please people is a mat Will | ter of business with an office seek- reach goal by next July, and this fs | er. Am somewhat dis | heartened, however, because no sign some people, but he doen't get) A loafer may make a hit with paid for it. Money talks and @ peony makes! more noise on «8 contribution plate than a §2 bill Chicago News, Just Like « Woman, I think the new cook and I do hope you with her. 1 won't, my dear, w ia ox- won't quarre uaband She's & peach! v (hotly w ° I will discharge her morning Lippincott’s on (7S AMAN OH YOU WOMAN-—By F. R. Leet. eal — [eae yr (dp ty—1 year, Laud abe. | STAR DUST dou Wine Bayar guees t depends | whether girl has} Hartford Then, | Marjorie"I altoget? the mood forn. Mew prise a thing ungained more than it Is—Shakespeare “My 4 an any itizen money anew ‘Cayenne ely for our commercial sys ilar in not judged t the company it, keep.” — Washington Star | Florida Timea-th Hoxtons-—"It's beginning to rain You'll eet wet, 1 dear, no! that t"Oh, badly as About the only way to hold the friendabip of some men ts to acquire the enmity of their enemics,—-Dalias News “How are you getting along with your pew housemald* First rate,” anawered the lady of the house. “Bhe 8 16 approve of the way I do the work.”-—Kankas City Journal Between Friends, reciting ” How eo people oan an it was, make It more terrible t A Life Study. Martha—Grace graduated from cooking school this mpring, didn’t * going 4 yuree t ping back to school, eh? No. She's going to marry & poor young man in June.--Spokane | Chroniete. Inanity Hite. 1 prefer puntry * | Peexy—Vain longing. Of course you can never be anything but as object. Wasted « Coak-oo Clock. I want an alarm clock that will wake k without disturbing the the ordinary kind entire family with-| ok.” -—Chips that wakes out disturbing the the fashionab Makes people think that one goes In for aeronautics, don't you know? | REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR. | The honey of marriage Is on a woman's lips for her children. |_ A quick way to learn how to waste money fn to get bold of It. A man puts money in the collec tion plate just the way he pays taxea—with a deep feeling of griev- ance. A woman never gets old enough not to think it ian't a shame for a! woman who is as old as somebody | else to dress the youthful way she does. ink you'd better | New York Press | | pecial The most important offering Materials of the be | r the season; linin money to be gotten. A spl | browns, light, mediun I ‘The coats 48 inche | with panel back, all » match color, Skirt when cluster plaits are set 1 Basement Section “Wow What's that awful smell Cirous Manager °F the rub sn wna “ yor man, How been for a walk Open stock of Haviland ie Evesine 7 nouret”—New iil & Co.'s Decorated China; 7 , 0 sele Think only of yourseit and others if 12 patterns to select from. will forme ago News Service for 6 people, or 50- Is it good form for a girt iad labis ich an abbreviated bathing jim Piece sets, at $16.75, $22.5 | | $31, $45 and t | | Mercer American Semi | A i} Porcelain Decorated Din i ner Sets, 5 decorations to choose from; 50-piece sets from open stock $6.50, $7 Ye | iii stone | i and $8.00 English Olde Iron- China Decorated Dinnerware, in grand mother's patterns, the In- ij dian tree and blue Canton Dinner Sets, service for 6 people, at— $9.00, $13.50, $14.50 patterns. 50-piece Royal Swedish Semi- Porcelain, in blue Co- penhagen patterns; 50- piece sets, special ...... ... $5.75 | BAILLARGEON’S 5258 it t } il t ppeal to you ag te at are ace hy ac ording to ¢ t values for the “greens, 1 black, iq] and suiti ‘ting, some 4 and horn buttons to, ' to about the knee, & $25 Travel as You at Home Use a Drucker W; Trunk, with compart for everything; every j | | | } j | | venience, every prot | for your clothes. 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