The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, August 14, 1904, Page 32

THE SAN FRANCISCO CALL, SUNDAY, AUGUST 14, 1904. In London Society. Special Correspondence. HEADQI‘:\RTER; OF THE CALL, ! § HENRIETTA STREET, COVENT GARDEN, LONDON, July 31.—Much surprise has been occasioned by the announcement that the Prince of Wales is going in for horse racing. He has heretofore given such little of possessing “sporting at it is about the last thing »f him. Among however, it is love of the turf 1 to take this course, win popularity with t present their attitude one of indifference not h contempt and is in expected riend the m toward father when he occu- ion of heir to the throne. a measure due to his oofness from all that con- ring corner-stones, ble bazaars and at- imilar funct e effect on the crow Very ceable was the cool reception ac- d the Prince and Princess when ipanied the King and Queen r day to lay the foundation ity hospital. As they rode Holborn, where men who ces” abound, not a hat nor a cheer raised for It is something more than a | coinc e that the Prince should de- t ion of seeking a career | iurf so shortly after this inci- He is emulating his father's but whether he will be successful in making himself e with the racing public re- | mains to be seen. | The Princess of Wales is and al- | ways has beep opposed to horse rac- opening fas tendance .ing because she saw in it an element | of reckless gambling. Queen Alexan- | dra has the same feeling, but King Edward, unlike his heir, has insisted | ays on being master of his own | d. yusel ning & horse or not he always had a “bit on” every race reckoned import- ant in the racing calendar. The threatened withdrawal of such men a8 Lord Dunraven, Leopold de| Rothschild, Leonard Brassey and Sir| Waldie Griffith from racing would also | _&ppear to have influenced the Prince. | These patrons of the turf have been | ing of the King’s lack of! interest in racing matters | He goes to all the tashmnable‘ I keeps a few “crocks” | ng. but what is wanted are| colors at classic races. He has practi g economy since he came to the throne and moreover he his been tells his friends plainly that his pub- | lic duties make so much demand upon his time that he cannot afford to look after trairing stables. Early in the season he was obliged to | release “Danny” Maher from his en- gegement because he had not suffi- clent horses in tralning to give the young American a chance of %iving up pro- | He knew Wwhat his sub- | jects liked and whether he was run- | ,ort he repeated the performance with to bis reputation in the way of riding | winners. Maher will join the stables of Marsh, who will train the Prince’s horses when he begins his turf career. Private reports from Newmarket and i other racing quarters do not indicate much faith that the Prince will follow racing with the same enthusiasm as the King did. The Prince prefers the | seclusion of the club for his gamble. The Duchess of Devonshire gave him | =ome useful lessons in bridge, which he | has not forgotten, and John Roberts | showed him how to win and lose at bil- | ilards. Whether Marsh, the -Newmar- ket trainer, wiil be in his line as suc- cessful remains to be seen. There is much uneasiness among ser- | vants in the royal stables in conse- | auence of the King and Queen’s pgef- erence for motor cars. A few weeks | ag0 a number of stablemen at Windsor were cautioned that they had better look out for another job. Their as- | tonishment grew when the head man was ordered to take their half a dozen horses and carriages to a salesman’s premises in Piecadilly, where they were immediately disposed of. Now the force employed at Buckingham Palace mews is to be reduced, and at least a dozen stablemen will soon have a chance of boasting the distinction of serving his Majesty. The weeding out process is being felt mostly by the younger men whose services are not sufficiently long to entitle them to either a gratuity or a pension. But his Majesty is ~enerous and it.is an- ticipated he will give all whom he dis- misses a year's wages. RS N Not for many years have English so- clety people complained of such scar- city of money as they do this season. | The season is a brilliant one, but thou- sands of dollars are owing for dresses, and the tradespeople cannot get a cent. | There is a prominent Duchess, whose | credit was never in question before, | but is now the subject of common talk in the West End. She owes one firm | $30,000 for dresses, but they are aware | that pressure would only mean loss of | clientele from many of this enterpris- | ing lady’s friends, and they are, there- fore, obliged to lle low. She is one of the most lavish entertainers in Eng- land and thinks nothing of spending $50,000 on one royal party at her coun~ try residence. Her gambling propen- sities are well known to all the young | nobility swells and to enterprising ladies who fancy a hand at bridge. Although her husband is the possessor of many thousands of acres and four or five of the finest residences in the | country—all of them good enough for | the reception of kings and oriental | potentates—he is mortgaging them heavily to support the extravagances of his fair Duchess. The Duchess in order to satisfy her craving for gamb- ling and entertaining has been lately disposing of her jeweiry. Herds of cat- tle which she bred and valued highly are at the present moment of writing advertised for sale. Kuropatkin at Target. General Kuropatkin is a crack shot. ‘When he was Minister of War, during a tour of inspection he visited Sebas- topol and strolled with the command- ant along the boulevard, where there was a shooting saloon. His host in- vited him to a contest and the Min- ister accepted, each to fire ten shots with a revolver at fifteen paces, the target being a piece of white card- board about the size of a small cigar- | ette case. With a revolver the gen- | eral put all ten shots into the target, |to the complete discomfiture of the other competitor, and when a similar | target was put up ten paces farther the rifle. e —— Sven Hedin describes walking in a sandstorm in the Tibetan Desert as being “like wading against running ! water or liquid mud.” THE SAN FRANCISGCO CALL JOHN D. SPRECKELS, Proprietor . . . e+ . Address All Communications to JOHN McNAUGHT, Manager —— e PUbHCAtION OffICe .. ..+ s vessstratatttueieuanasasarssncstencessecene,,, . Third and Market Streets, 8. F et SUNDAY P ..‘..............7.........AUGUST 14, 1904 THE ABUSE OF NEUTRAL PORTS. HE Japanese have startled Russia by entering a T Chinese neutral port, and cutting out a Russian warship that had sought seclusion and refuge there. At the first blush this was taken as a violation of inter- national law and neutral rights. But was it? The Rus- sian warship was part of the armed fleet in Port Arthur. The Russians confess that she entered the Chinese port ! for the purpose of notifying Skrydloffy of the Vladivos- tok ‘fleet, that the Port Arthur fleet had escaped, for the purpose of making a junction with him. This in itself was the misuse of ‘a neutral port for a war purpose, to the distinct disadvantage of Japan. After accomplishing it, the Russian ship was “disarmed” by removing the breech blocks from her guns, with the intention of lying indefinitely in a neutral port. The Japanese followed her in, captured her and took her out into open water under the flag of Japan, adding her to their fleet. The ideas of Russia seem to be strangely muddled in regard to neutrality, and the shift and change of the character of her ships. She brought auxiliary ships out of the Black Sea, under a merchant flag, and when they were through the Dardanelles immediately armed them and began preying upon neutral commerce in the Red Sea. This was in violation of treaty stipulations which forbid the Dardanelles to Russian warships. It was characteristic of Russia, however, and was what the parties to the treaty might have expected. The ships so used had no higher character than pirates, and would have been treated as such by Great Britain had they continued to make seizures. Taking refuge in neutral Chinese ports, under a construe- tive disarmament, is part of the same policy. The warship used for that purpose could not be held there by China. She could recoal and revictual and even take on war stores and be ready to rebreech her guns and slip out when the coast was clear to prey upon neutral ships, or resume her place in the Russian fleet in an action on the open sea. She was more dangerous to Japan than if she were on open water, for she lurked in ambush, ready at any time to strike. If the Russian use of neu- tral ports were accepted the entire fleet might sequester itself temporarily in Chinese ports, take off the breech blocks and then rearm by replacing them, and steam out at the expiration of the limit fixed by international law for armed ships. It is not intended by the law of nations that a bellig- erent shall make such use of neutral ports. Especially is it not to be permitted in the case of Chinese ports. China has no navy with which to defend and enforce her neutral rights in her sea ports. Her position is peculiar. Russia has been ready at any time to declare war against her. Since the opening of the struggle with Japan Russia has ceaselessly nagged China in the hope of provoking some overt act that would be an ex- cuse for such action. The right of China to protect her frontier from invasion by the contending forces has been denied by Russia in a protest against the appear- ance of General Ma’s army on the border. In every possible way Russia has sought to embroil China. Now, under the preposterous claim to the use of Chi- nese ports for disarmed warships, Russia could put into them her entire fleet, ready for a declaration of war, which would be instantly followed by the reduction of every Chinese sea port. This would give her an jm- mense advantage over Japan, and it would be gained by a palpable and atrocious trick. Under the circumstances Japan has done just what any other nation would have done. She has punished the trick by capturing a ship that was too cowardly to fight on open water, and has added it to her fleet. In- stead of violating the neutrality of China she has pro- tected it, by exposing a-trick that put it in peril. It may be expected that Russia will make a florid protest to the powers. But a nation that asks international equity must come blameless herself, and with clean hands. This Russia cannot do, and no matter under what diplomatic verbiage the answer may be softened it is safe to say that the nations will fail to get excited over the incident. Japan has an adequate defense and will present it with the force that has become a characteristic of her states- manship. The action itself was another evidence of Japanese courage and adventure and promptness, and the verdict of the lovers of fair play is that she served Russia as she deserved. 4 BRITAIN COUNTING THE COST. USSIA’S views on contraband of war, :ouple:i R with the evident purpose of the Czar to continue the operation of the volunteer fleet in the Pacific Ocean on the lines that have proved so annoying to the British in the Red Sek, have become primary ques- tions of the hour for discussion by British statesmen. The problem created by Russia’s tremendous sea activ- ity, vastly increased by the release of the Port Arthur fleet and the impending movement of the Baltic battle- ships, has become one of grave moment to the British Foreign Office, and well it may be. Britain has infin- itely more to lose from the predatory fleets of the Rus- sians than all the other sea powers combined. It is not to be wondered at, therefore, that the subject of contraband has become a theme of agitated debate in the House of Lords and in the House of Commons, that Lord Lansdowne has been placed on his mettle by pointed queries, that representations bordering on the undiplomatic have been made to St. Petersburg, and that the Pandora’s box of the Dardanelles has been con- sidered fit food for the wisdom of The Hague Tribunal. British traders are menaced far more seriously than they ever were before in this generation. Some unwarranted surprise has been expressed that practically all the seizures made by the Russians in the Red Sea have been those of British ships, and a like condition will follow in the Pacific Ocean if the Russians persist in their policy. This is to be expected because of the overwhelming preponderance of British tonnage over that of other nations. The marvelous carrying trade of Great Britain and her colonies, explains at a glance the trepidation of London. While Germany and other maritime nations have in- creased their carrying trade very largely in the last few years, Britain has kept pace with the forward movement and still holds her marvelous supremacy on the seas. Great Britain owns for commercial purposes 7609 steamers of 13,099,218 tons burden, and 1537 sailing ves- sels of 1,302,132 tons burden. Add to this enormous capacity of the mother country the trading ships owned in the British colonies, 1088 steamers of 867,309 tons burden and 926 sailing vessels of 322,186 tons burden, and we have the magnificent total of 8787 steamers of 14,866,527 tons burden and 2463 sailing vessels of 1,714,- 318 tons under the control of the British Empire and en- couraged by its imperial promise of protection. It is little wonder, therefore, that the British Parlia- ment sees in the sea policy of the Czar potentialities of tremendous damage to the British carrying trade both in Europe and the Orient. Nor is Germany to be left out of calculation as a vigorous objector to the free and easy interpretation of contraband by the Russians. Ger- many’s flag floats over 1483 steamers of 2,801,869 tons burden and she is fourth on the list of proprietors of sailing vessels in the world’s carrying trade. The United States comes third in the zone of danger with 1266 steamships of 2,440,704 tons burden, and we are second on the roll of sailing ships. While most of our carrying trade is coastwise or confined to the lakes, we have still an appreciable interest in the controversy which so agitates England. It will be well, therefore, for the Czar to count the cost when he sets his fighting ships free on predatory missions. Chief of Police Wittman has suggested to the Super- visors several proposed charter amendments that are de- signed to improve the efficiency of the Police Depart- ment and to afford needed protection to citizens who must accept municipal conditions as they are created. The suggestions of ‘the Chief of Police should be adopted. If we must tolerate influences that call for in- creased police protection we are at least entitled to be guarded against the criminal classes that have apparently the connivance if not the support of our local au- thorities. PR BLELas sl I The Russian fleet of warships which for months has been bottled up at Port Arthur and for which the world had nothing but jest and gibe and ungenerous specula- tion has at last escaped and is prowling the Pacific. If the Bear effects a junction of this fleet with that of the Baltic and the Vladivostok squadron the doughty sailors of the Mikado may have reason to understand that war after all is a two-sided affair. The world may yet be wit- ness of a great modern sea battle. - TALK OF THE TOWN AND | T Economy. g Senator “Jim"” Fair had two marked characteristics—economy and love of joking. He never forgot frugality in his extensive business, and he even made his own economy a subject for | humor. Once while puttering around over the Comstock he slipped and started feet first down a deep, narrow shaft. There was a long, continuous wooden ladder reaching to the bottom, with its every twelfth rung of iron to strengthen the structure. Down this he sped. “When I found myself sliding down toward the center of earth,” said the Senator, who used to enjoy telling the story, “I thought it was time to begin doin’ something. So I commenced to grab at the ladder rungs. As I went down I broke every single one of them wooden sticks. This checked the speed of my fall, and I landed 'bout a thou- sand feet below, badly shook up but not hurt.” “But what did you do when you came to the iron rungs?” he was asked. “Oh, I just skipped ‘em. Couldn’t af- ford to break 'em. Wood was cheap, but ifron was then durned dear on the Comstock.” Sawyer's Whisky. Among the old miners of Siskiyou County a man can get worse whisky at Sawyer’s bar than In any other place on earth. This is the belief of the gold diggers of that section, and that faith is accepted as orthodox. Regularly every Christmas Billy X, foreman of the Oro Fino mine, takes his laycff down at Sawyer’s. Once the superintendent asked him why he al- ways selected that place for his vaca- tion. . “I want to have one yearly drunk,” said Billy, “and I want to know just when I am drunk, so that I may enjoy the sensation.” ‘“Well, can't you enjoy the sensation in any other portion of the county or| State or continent?” asked the super- intendent. “No. When I'm drinking Sawyer's whisky and it begins to taste good, then I know I'm drunk.” Tibetan W omen. The traveler cannot fail to be struck | by the hardness and misery of the Tib- | etan woman’s lot. Among some of the | tribes wives are secured by the simple method of making a foraging expedi- tion on some weaker tribe and seizing as many women as may be desired. This practice, however boldly under- taken, is likely to mean the loss of sev- eral lives, and is adopted only in cases of the direst necessity. The following methed is more generally employed: ‘When a warrior, surfeited with glory, desires a wife he waits upon the father of the girl who has attracted his eye and makes an offer of marriage. The father, after weighing the matter care- fully—for a refusal is liable to provoke a long and disastrous feud—names a price which he thinks consistent with | the charms and general usefulness of his daughter. Then ensues a scene of the shrewdest bargaining. The wishes or inclination of the wo- man are never consulted, but the bar- gaining goes on for days, and even weeks, until a final settlement has been | arrived at. The preliminary bartering having been completed, on the day ap- | pointed for the wedding the woman is | placed either in the upper limbs of a | tree, while her male relatives remain on the lower branches, armed with thorn-sticks—or in the back part of her father's hut, while the relatives d the entrance in a similar manner/ The suitor rides up on his horse, arrayed in wedding finery, and“announces his in- tention of seizing his bride. In fact e this is love making of the most stren- uous kind, requiring ardor and courage - of the most ardent sort on the part of the suitor, for in order to reach his bride he is compelled to run the gaunt- let of the male relatives, who beat him unmercifully. If he is able to elude his opponents and braves their chastise- ment, on touching the foot of the girl he is welcomed into the family ana complimented on the ardor of his pas- sion. Should he fail, he finds himself In the awkward predicament of being both wifeless and out of the presents he has made during the preliminary negotiations. Although a parent may have sold & woman to one man, it does not prevent his redisposing of her to any suitor who may come after, and who is looked upon as legitimate a husband as the first one. All the husbands contribute to the wife’s support.—Outing. Music in the Park. The following programme will bs played in Golden Gate Park this af« ternoon: “Star Spangled Banner..national anthem U. 8. Mare! é’nu -\.Suppe Wi h. “Queen of the Surf’...Johm V. ““Bea athan Galatea™ lectad Overturs, uts Waltz, “La Soiree Solo for saxophone. J. L. Grand fantaste, ceesssoneceys Verdl Overture, “Macbet weesngs < Hatton “Falkentang' fl-nm..rl National bion™ Answers to Queries, FROG RAISING—A. C., Ceres, Cal There is a work called “How to Raise Frogs,” by Coombes. This can be se- cured through any bookseller. DRIED MUSHROOMS-O. N. G, Natividad, Monterey County, Cal. Tha following is the method for drying mushrooms: Freshly gathered small mushrooms are peeled, the stems cut off and the fur is entirely scraped off. They are then arranged on a tin or dish so that they do not touch and are dried as gradually as possible in a gentle oven. When dry they are put in tin canisters and stored where they will be secure from dampness. ABALONE SHELLS—W. L, City. In order to polish abalone shells the outer coating must first be removed. This is dome by placing the shells In Iye made by bolling strong ashes and then boiling the shells from six to seven hours, or longer If necessary, after which they must soak in the Nquid. After boiling they must frequently be washed in water. Then tLe shells are dried in sawdust and when thoroughly dried the surface is rubbed with a mixture of tripoll and turpentine ap- plied by means of a piece of wash leather. After this application has dried it should be rubbed off. The shells are then rubbed with very fine dry tripoll and lastly some olive ofl is rubbed In and then finished by rub« bing with a chamolis. ———— Townsend's California Glace frufts #o artistic fire-etched boxes. 715 Market st,® —_——— Special information supplied dally te business houses and public men the Press Clipping Bureau (Allen's), 230 Cal+ ifornia street. Telephone Main 1042. & MR. DOOLEY'S VIEWS ON LIFE OF THE CANDIDATE AND THE CAMPAIGN BY F. P. DUNNE. (Copyright, 1904, by McClure, Phillips & Co.) SEE,” said Mr. Hennessey, “th: Dimmyecratic pérty in Maine is at the be th’ prospects that his frinds can’t keep so cheered mycratic gain: F’r th’ Raypublican th’ news from thiSouthwest is so cheerin’ as to be almost incredible or quite so. But iliction day comes at last. Th’ people iv e a him sober. : Dlmm:\’ crats have gr-reat confi- “Th’ life iv a candydate is th’ happiest dence. # there is. If I want annything pleasant said “They have,” said Mr. Dooley. about me I have to say it mesilf. There’s a “Th’ Dimmycrats have gr-reat confidence, th’ Raypublicans ar-re sure, th’ Popylists are hopeful, th’ Prohybitionists look fr a landslide or a flood or whativer you may call a prohybition vichtry, an’ th’ Socylists think this may be their year. That's what makes pollytics th’ gr-reat game an’ th’ on’y wan to dhrive dull care away. It's a game iv hope, iv jolly-ye’er-neighbor, a con- fidence game. If ye get a bad hand at poker, ye lay it down. But if ye get a bad hand a2t poliytics, ye bet ye'er pair iv deuces as blithe as an Englishman who has jus’' larned the game out iv th' spoortin’ columns iv th’ London Times. If ye don’t win fair, ye may win foul. If ye don’t win, ye may tie an’ get th’ money in th’ con- fusion. If it wasn’t such a game, wud there be Dimmycrats in Vermont, Raypublicans in Texas an’ Prohybitionists in th’ stock- yards ward? Ivry year men crawl out iv th’ hospitals where they've been since last iliction day to vote th’ Raypublican ticket in Mississippi. There’s no record iv it, but it’s a fact. To-day th’ Dimmycrats will on’y concede Vermont, Maine an’ Pinnsylvanya to th’ Raypublicans, an’ th’ Raypublicans concede Texas, Allybamiay an’ Mississippi to th’ Dimmycrats. But it's arly yet. Wait awhile. Th’ wurruk iv th’ campaign has not begun. Both sides is inclined to be pessi- mistic. Th’ consarvative business man who thinks that if a Jittle money cud be placed in Yazoo City, th’ prejudice again Rosenfelt, which is on’y skin deep annyhow, cud be removed, thers. About th’ middle iv October the Raypublicans who concédes Texas to th’ Dimmycrats will be dhrummed out iv th’ party as a thraitor an’ ye'll hear that th’ hasn’t turned up at headqw-" hundherd thousan’ freemen ready to say it to a candydate an’ say it strong. They ask nawthin’ in rayturn that will require a civi! service examination. He starts in with a pretty good opiniyon iv himsilf based on what his mother said iv him as a baby, but be th' time he's heerd th’ first speech iv congratulation he begins to think he had a cold an’ indiff'rent parent. Ninety per cint iv th’ people who come to see him tell him he’s th’ mos’ pop’lar thing that iver was an’ will carry th’ counthry like a tidal wave. He don’t let th’ others in. If annybody says annything about him less frindly thin Jacob Riis, he knows he’s either a sorehead or is in th’ pay iv th’ other campaign comity. Childher an’ dogs ar-re named afther him, pretty women an’ some iv th’ other kind thry to kiss !:im an’ th’ newspapers publish pitchers iv luq: as he sets in his libry with his brows wrinkled in thought iv how fine a man he is. Th’ opposition pa-apers don’t get up to th’ house an’ he niver sees himsilf with a face like Sharkey or reads that th’ reason he takes a bath in th’ Hudson is be- cause he is too stingy to buy a bathtub f'r th’ house an’ prefers to sponge on th’ gr-reat highway belongin’ to th’ people. “If he hasn’t done much to speak iv, his frinds rayport his small but handsome var- chues. He niver punched his wife, he sinds his boys to school, he loves his counthry, he shaves with a safety razor. A man expicts to be ilicted Prisidint iv th’ United States, Hinnissy, fr th’ fine qualities that th’ r-rest iv us use on’y to keep out iv the pinitinchry. All th’ time th’ rayports from th’ counthry become more an’ meore glowin’. Th’ tidal wave is risin’ an’ soon will amount to a landslide. Victhry is perched upon our ban- ners an’ has sint f'r th’ fam’ly. F'r th’ Dim- mycratic candydate th’ mos’ glowin’ ray- ports iv gains come fr'm New England, where there is always most room for Dim- this gr-reat counthry gather at th’ varyous temples iv liberty, in barber shops an’ livery stables an’ indicate their choice iv evils. A gr-reat hush falls on th’ land as th’ public pours out iv th’ side dures iv th’ salootis an’ reverently gathers at th’ newspaper offices to await with baited breath th’ thrillin’ news fr'm th’ first precint iv th’ foorth ward iv Sheboygan, Wis. An’ thin again we hear th’ old but niver tiresome story: Texas give a Dimmycrat majority iv five hun- \dhred thousan’, but will reopen th’ polis if more is necess'ry; th’ Dimmycrats hops iv th’ prisint ratio is maintained th’ Raypub- lican victhry in Pinnsylvanya will not be unanimous. An’ wan candydate rayceives six millyon votes an’ is overwhelmingly de- feated an’ th’ other rayceives five millyon, nine hundhred thousan’ an’ is triumphantly ilicted. An’ there ye ar-re. “Why, Hinnissy, wanst whin I was in gol- Iytics, me an’ Willum O’Brien put up a Ger- man be th’ name iv Smeerkase or some such name f'r aldherman f'r th’ fun iv th’ thing. It was a gr-reat joke an’ aven th’ Dutchman knew it. But befure he’d been nommynated two weeks he begun to take it seeryous. “They’se a good dale iv dissatisfaction in th’ ward with th’ prisint aldherman,’ says he, ‘an’ ye know I've lived here a long time an’ I'm popylar with th’ boys. Sthranger things have happened thin iv this joke was to turn. out thrue’ ‘Well,’ says I, if ye're ilicted I want ye to make me Uncle Mike Chief iv Polis. He’s licked thim all an’ he raaly holds th’ job ex-propria vigore, as th’ Supreme Coort wud say,” says I. Sure, I will, says Smeerkase. Well, he come into me place ivry day to tell me how his campaign was gettin’ on. He had assurances fr'm more people thin there were in th' ward that they’d vote f'r him. He had his pitcher took an’ hung on th’ tilllygrafy poles. He hired a man to write his obichury fr'm th’ time he took his first glass iv beer as a baby to th’ moment when th’ indignant citizens iv th’ . sixth ward arose an’ demanded that they shud crowd their suffrage on him. That meant me an’ O’Brien, d'ye mind? He got up a mass-meeting with bands an’ calceem thry to get anny th’ colored line will be dhrawn more closely an’ on higher threes an’ manny a smilin’ face will be absent fr'm into th’ box, but Bill is apt to firget his it there’s a five-dollar bill in New York callin® f'r a father. Don't believe ivrything David lights an’ th” hail was crowded while he talked not on'y broken, but, be hivins, pool- verized English on th’ issues iv th’ day. Well, Hinnissy, ye know ’tis not on’y th’ candydate himsilf that’s confident, it's ivry- body around him. An’ befure th’ iliction come I begun to think that maybe me frind did have a chance, so I wint around to see him. He was disthribatin’ th’ spendin’ money f'r th’ polls an’ I had to fight me way in. ‘Glad to see ye, Mister Dooley,’ says he. ‘I wanted to tell ye that I'm sorry I can't-appint ye'er Uncle Chief iv Polis. I've inquired into his charackter,” says he, ‘an’ ’tis not up to th’ standard. Besides,’ he says, ‘I've promised th’ job to th’ Amalgamated Union iv Can Openers, who ar-re with me to a man. Ar-re ye that sure ye-re goin’ to be ilicted that ye've already broken ye'er ante-iliction promises?’ says I. ‘My, but it’s you that ar-re th’ hurried statesman.’ ‘It’s all over,’ says he. ‘I've ordhered th’ flowers f'r me desk in th’ council’ ‘Make me a gates-ajar,’ says I, an’ wint me way. How manny votes did he get? Eight. That was th’ amount. ‘Where did he get thim? says I to O’Brien. ‘They were some we cud- den’t use,’ says he. ‘They belonged to a Bohaymian in th’ foorth precint, but I give them to Smeerkase. He’s a good fellow,” says he. ™ “What's me opinyion iv th’ campaign? ‘Sure, what's th’ use iv breakin’ up anny man’s happy dhream be tellin’ him th’ thruth? If anny fellow citizen iv mine can get four months’ complett injymint out iv life with nary a care or worry but ivry day th’ glad hand an’ th’ rainbow iv hope in th’ sky, it's not me will spile his game. An’ it ‘wudden't do anny good annyhow. Sup- posin’ Thaydoor Rosenfelt was to dhrop in here an’ ask me opinyion in th’ campaign up to date, I might say: ‘Thaydoor, me buck, at this minyit I can’t offer ye much consylation. Ye won’t get anny votes in th' South that will do ye anny good. If ye ye'er festive board. Ye've just managed to hurt th ’thrusts enough to make thim mad an ’they’re afther ye. Manny people is scared to death that if ye get in again ye'll buckle on yer soord an’ declare war again th’ homes iv their birth where they skipped fr'm. They’se a lot iv Germans in Wis- consin an’ Illinye that don't like a foreign policy. mannyfacthered to ordher in Eng- land an’ who wud not care to lay down th’ bungstarter an’ th’ sausage grinder to take up th’ soord an’ make war on thir lieber Vaterland in ordher to advance th’ common an’ soritetimes vulgar speech iv Shakespeare an’ Joe Chamberlain. Ye ar-re well liked be some an’ well disliked be others. Th’ beautiful bust iv ye that Jacob Riis molded in butther is meltin’ in th’ harsh glare iv l!\’ secret meetin’s at th’ White House. Ye won't be ilicted be ye'er frinds or defeated be ye'er inimies. It is to th' indepindant suffrages iv th’ freemen who ar-re indiff'rent to ye that ye must appeal. If they ar-re more indiff’rent to th’ Sage of Esoopus, you have a chanst. But ye'er gr-reat hope iv victhry is nawthin’ ye've done or mnawthin’ ye haven’t done but this: That no matther how manny votes th’ Dimmycrats have befure th’ polls open th' Raypublicans usually have more whin th’ polls close, an’ they don’t care how late they set up.’ “What wud he say? He'd sind f'r Jacob Riis. “If I wint to Esoopus an’ found th’ Sage makin’ hay with Willum Rockyfellar an’ Augy Belmont, I might say: ‘Sage, don’t ye put too much thrust in thrusts. A thrust may show a momentary fondness fr a Dim- mycrat, but raymimber, a thrust is a Repub- lican at heart. He was brought up upon it. It’s good to have Willum Rockyfellar with ye f'r Prisidint iv th’ United States, but I'd rather have th’ fam'ly inflooence on me side if I was r-runnin’ f'r Prisidint iv th’ Stand- ard Tle: Bill an’ me is allowed be th’ con- stochoochion th’ same number iv votes. i.e., as Hogan wud say, wan. Mine is sure to get Binnitt Hill tells ye. He’s a gr-reat man at a prim’ry, but he’s poor in th’ wards. He knows how to reach th’ captain iv’ th eighth precinet, but he’s niver had his ear very near to th' gr-reat throbbin’ heart iv th' people on account iv th’ watch pocket bein® on that side. What th” public knows about ye is all in ye'er favor, barrin, ye have a slight impedymint in ye'er convictions. They like ye so much as an upright Judge an’ stalwart farmer that they may not want to remove ye. They ar-re a foolish people an’ they may ask ye to stay on th’ farm. But don’t be in too much iv a hurry to de- clare ye'er principles. Ye won't; but don’t. If ye have principles iv ye'er own, they may not agree with ye'er party’s, an’ if ye hold th’ principles iv e’er party they’re onpop’lar, But don’t be discouraged, annyhow. Th' rcampaign is young. Annything may hap- pen. Rosenfelt may go lame. At prisint, afther makin’ a cold an’ calculated survey iv th' situation, I can on'y promise ye th’ ilicthral vote iv Tevas an’ mesilf; an’ we both need watchin’. “What wud he say? He'd ask David Binnitt Hill, an’ David Binnitt Hill wud say: ‘It's a cinch. Not on'y ye’er own gr-reat popylarity an’ mine makes it certain, but I've seen a man in Buffalo who knows a man in th’ third precinct iv th’ foorth ward who is goin’ to see a fellow in Mat- toon, Illinye, who has th’ city collector iv Keokuk undher his thumb an” he can get to Cortolloo. I need say no more. Ye will undherstand what [ mean be me wink. Rosenfelt may as well go back to th’ barn!" “No, sir, I will not disturb anny man’s romance with me valuable an’ unsought opinyions. But, secretly, Hinnissy, it don’t Jook to me as though ayether iv thim had ’ ghost iv a chance.” th“IIEm afraid iv Rosenfelt,” said Mr. Hen- nessy. - “I ain’t afraid iv anny Prisidint that jver lived,” said Mir. Dooley. ix months in th’ White House wud tame a buffalol”