The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, November 23, 1903, Page 8

THE SAN FRANCISCO CALL, MONDAY, NOVEMBER 23, 1903. - — N Is Marriage a Failure? BY (MISS) DORA MAY MORRELL. Whether marriage be absolutely a failure or not is something to be de- cided only by those who have tried it, and I am no feminine Don Quixote, tilting against windmills. I am simply an observer, se happy marriages, &nd unhappy, and sometimes finding| what is evident to all except the per- concerned, “the little rift| which has made its sons most within the lute,” music mute. | It might be s2'd at the outset that the| fact of asking all over the world if marriage is a failure is not proof that it is & suec nor is the excellence of an institution ved by the few s but by the m The few but prove | there ‘ the possibility of success where is yre often but slight measure of it. one who has considered the mat-| ter thougkifully can dc that mar-| riage at its best is the perfect life,| ideal in its re its develop- | ment of the 3 man and | woman, bu unfortunately, that a| thing may be is not the same as that | it | To an outsider ope of the strongest | arguments against matrimony is the| number of those who try to get out of | Being tied is in itself a condition g to an erratic temperament, for | ¥ou are never so eager to get away as| when you know you can’t. | I have watched devoted lovers grow | into indifferent partner seen most beautiful marriac grow m rather commonplace wooings, so the advance stage seems not much of | an indication what the future will give One of my girl friends said to me of her fiance: “I am not one of the silly | girls who cannot see faults in those | they care for. I can see them all the| plainer because I love, and though I| have hunted very hard for them, I| can't see a fault in Joe, and so I know he hasn’t got any.” She and Joe got married and went their loving way. Some years later I met her, and in the course of conversation she surprised me by saying: “No, of course I don't tell | Joe everything the way I used to. Men | are so stupid they never understand, so it is foolish to tell them and get into a | fuss.” “Do they grow stupid after mar- riage?” | “Well, they may not, but they seem Why, Joe nearly went wild over the most innocent letter that a man sent me, and he happened to find. I've told the maid again and again never to bring my letters to the table, but to put them in my bureau drawer, but she is so careless. One often has letters che doesn’t wish her husband to see, bills and things of that sort.” Now, it is hard for me to imagine a marriage a success in which one party to the contract has such a feeling as that. Marriage, it seems to me, is one of two things: either a business con- tract or a union founded upon senti- ment, and if deceit enters into it one party or the other is not living up to the agreement, however smoothly things may seem to go. If it is a busi- ness concern, each partner has a right to the confidence of the other, and so long as sentiment enters into it there will be the same interchange of inter- ests between married couples as be- | tween the engaged. The rule holds as good whether applied to man or to woman Another of my friends loves her hus- band devotedly, she says. She has no secrets from him—nor any. from any- body else—not even these she ought to have, for perfect faith does not neces- sitate telling a man every foolish lit- tle thing, nor passtng on to him some- thing some girl friend has told her. When of an evening her husband puts on his coat to go out this wife begins, “Why, Harry, are you going out this evening? Where are you going? What are you going for? Who else is going? What makes you go? You can think of me waiting here alone until you get back. I shall sit up until you get home.” L et Think of a self-respecting, able bodied and minded man being subject- ed to that every time he goes out of the house. Could you bear it, oh, sis- ter woman, if he put you through a like questioning? Why should a man or a woman be required to give an ac- count of all the moments as they fiy? Speaking of human beings from my own standpoint, I should say there is nothing dearer than freedom of the individual, and nothing much harder to bear than any infringement upon it. I consider being questioned almost the unpardonable offense on the part of a friend, yet, left to myself, probably I should tell him or her all I knew; but quizzing me always results in my tell- ing nothing and there must be others like that. Something of this kind I said to Ella and that to ask a man so much semed to me like an indignity. She replied: “How funny you are! Why should he object to telling me if he isn't going where he is ashamed to have it known? Am I not his wife and entitled to know all he does?” “He probably might tell you without your asking if you gave him the chance, but anybody with an atom of sense would object to being forced to tell every time he turned around and why.” “If he ioves me he ought to be will- ing to tell me so little a thing as that.” ‘What are you going to do with a woman like that to live with every day | hana | lost —love her? Yes, but you will come to the- conclusion that dumbness is not without some compensations. Once I was visiting a friend who had been the most romantic and sentimen- tal of girls. When she was first mar- ried she wept bitterly because her hus- band said another woman was the somest one he had ever seen. No other woman ought (o be so handsome to a man as his wife, how- ever she looks,” sobbed she, as if a man his eyesight when he married. Wouldn't you supose a woman would lose confidence in her husband’s judg- ment if he thought she was the most beautiful of women, when her mirror told her nothing of the sort? While I was at this friend’s home her husband told at dinner of something funny that had happened that day in the office, addressing his remarks di- rectly to her. She made no pretense of listening, and evidently did not hear a word. “You don" ny in that “Oh, I never listened to it at all. I thought likely it was as stupid as the stories you usually tell”—rudeness in her manner as in her words. She often sighs because marriage is so different from the girl's dream. yet she never blames herself for any part | of the failure. Still, as she could speak | before me and her children with this| lack of courtesy to the man whom she | had sworn before God to love and to | honor, she may not be wholly ffee from fault. Should you, present lovers, call | the marriage in which such as this was a common occurrence a SuUCCess or a | failure? eem to see anything fun- In the course of my wanderings to and I have often spent gome time at a house where there has never been | a meal finished without some fault-| finding by the master thereof. This is | not due to ill-cooked food, for the wife ! prepares good dishes and sees that the cook does likewise. If the chicken is/| broiled, “Why didn’t you fry this?” If it is fried, “Why ,wasn't it boiled?” Or | perhaps the complaint will be , that| chicken was cooked at all when he wanted fish. The vegetables were al- | ways over or under done; something | that he wanted and had not spoken | about had not been prepared. Maybe it | would be, “I've been trying ever since I was married to teach Polly to make | bread, but it seems impossible for her to get it into her head,” and the bread | is as light and sweet as bread ought to be. Heaven help the woman whose husband thinks he can cook, and help | her doubly if at the same time he has the grumbling habit! I have never seen am instance of a very happy marriage when the woman was the bread winner, if the husband were a strong, well man. If a woman makes a home and cares properiy for the husband and the children who should be in it, she has business enough within the walls of her house. What- | ever she does outside is just so much | taken from the strength and thought{ | that belong rightly to the home and its Inmates. From the beginning it has been woman'’s part to care for what the man provided and this instinct is rooted | back many centuries and is part of the human race to-day. So surely as it is violated for anything but the greatest | creased activity and a rising market, but it does not. | market continues dull and weak, with the public still chary need the woman and the man suffer for the violation. She grows to despise the | man who does not provide for her— | factors probably exist. THE SAN FHANCISCO CALL JOHN D.-SPRECKELS, Proprietor. . . . . . . . . . Address All Communications to JOHN McNAUGHT, Manager Publication Office....... -.Third and Market Streets, S. F. .NOVEMBER 23, 1903 THE BUSINESS SITUATION. MONDAY RADE conditions remain about as previously stated. T While general business throughout the country is good the individual lines show considerable irregularity. The most important line, that of iron and steel and concomitant branches, is one of those making an unfavorable exhibit. Notwithstanding the decreased production and recent reduc- tions in quotations, both of which were expected to stimulate the decreasing movement, the business is still lagging. Buy- ers are purchasing only from hand to mouth and are exact- ing concessions, the belief prevailing that still lower prices must rule. The industry is also unfavorably affected by the decrease in building operations, which cuts down the demand for structural material. More mills and blast furnaces have closed down and altogether the iron and steel industry is as-quiet now as it was active a year ago. ‘. In other industrial lines similar conditions prevail to a greater or less degree. Leather tanneries are closing down here and there and many textile mills in the Atlantic Coast States are running on half time. Lumber in the Eastern States is quieter owing to the decrease in building. ‘Woolen and worsted mills and clothing flctoyies report less activity. But against these unfavorable features the Southern cotton mills are increasing stock and thé boot and shoe shipments from New England are reported larger than at this time last year, with a rather better feeling in hides. The great food staples are still tending downward, though slowly. Larger supplies of hogs and other livestock in the West have resulted in weakening markets for beef and pork products and the packers at the great Western centers are giving little or no support to their markets beyond that nec- essary to prevent a too violent and rapid decline. Wheat is quiet, with smaller exports, as Europe is getting about all the wheat she wants from Russia, India and Argentina, and Australia now announces that instead.of importing, as she did last year, she will have some for export. These condi- | tions render Europe rather independent of Americm\ wheat at present. Our fine corn crop, too, estimated by the Gov- ernment at about 2,300,000,000 bushels, tends to lower quo- tations on this grain. The statistical position of trade remains about as before. { The bank clearings continue to show a falling off in the volume of business as compared with last year, the decrease last week being 21.4 per cent, though the clearings rolled up the very satisfactory aggregate of $2,112,000,000. The great majority of large cities showed a decrease. The failures were 249, against 266 last year, and there were a number un- pleasantly large, including several banks and some prominent commercial houses. ; There is now no complaint of any consequence regarding the supply of railroad cars to handle the traffic, which shows that either the railroads have greatly increased their ireight rolling stock or that the country is doing less business. Both The earnings, however, thus far in November are 6.1 per cent larger than in November, 1902. A favorable feature last week was the better tone of the jobbing and retail trades, both of which reported a more ac- tive demand for winter goods, with buyers showing a prefer- ence for the higher priced wares. Farmers, too, are evidently | prosperous, as they are generally holding out for top prices { for their products all over the country, and some are not dis- | posed to sell at all at present. The financial situation remains about as before. The cur- rent movement of gold from Europe to this country imparts confidence among the moneyed interests and there is now very little talk about tight money, while interest rates in | New York are much lower than they were expected to be some months ago. The supply of funds, too, is larger. Wall | street ought to respond to this satisfactory condition by in- The about meddling with the financial fire. The speculators have though she does not say so—and he | lost so much maney by the great Wall street decline of the loses his self respect. The woman who works with all her‘ might to help a man make money | makes a great mistake If she is seeking | past year that many of them have no more surplus money to | invest and those who have are not investing it in securities, no matter how cheap they are. The wounds must heal be- happiness, for the money is bought at | fore they again enter the battle. the cost of the character development in tenderness and unselfishness that the | man needs and gets when he looks | after his wife as he wants to when he | dllness out here. marries. It should be some very strong cause that leads her to take from him this right to an unselfish manhood. The ! woman who makes a true home does more for the man than she does by go- ine into the labor mart, and she cannot do both. It is no easier than it is to “serve God and Mammon.” i It is true that the happiness of mar- ried life depends a good deal upon the‘ woman—more, I think, than upon the | man—because her strength lies in just | and proper using of the powers of heart | and spirit. Of course, men sometimes are trying and dense, but I have seen | most unpromising material made into husbands who were delightful and the envy of women who had not known or cared how to use what was theirs to build with. One cannot be happy with an unbear- ably jealous man, who suspects his wife at every turn, but the man with minor faults, such as asking “What did you do with the 50 cents I gave you last week?’ may be cured by the right handling. I have seen that done. It may be hard to be happy if you have black eyes and hair, when your husband takes pleasure in calling your attention to beauties with blue eyes and golden hair, and tells you how he al- ways admirad that style of beauty, but think what a compliment he paid you in preferring you in spite of his fancy for another type of comeliness, o T . Jealousy, brutality and vulgarity are so strikingly offensive that all the world admits there is no chance for happiness with them, but they wreck few lives comparatively. If marriage is a faflure it is not in any great measure because of these, but because it is al- lowed to become commonplace. Those who keep a touch of romance in thelr relations do not find wedded bliss a myth. It is well to preserve one’s illu- sions Ul Must borrow roves trom Beauty; Life must rise above the mart, Faith and Love are all ideal. Besides the loss of all poetry out of the mutual life, another cause for the unhappiness in marriage-that makes it seem a failure is lack of courtesy, of the consideration that is given instinct- ively by the sweetheart who counts it no bore to listen to her lover’s stories, nor finds it difficult to laugh at them, though she hears them over and over. Courtesy will do much to smooth the walks of life, more than love itself, if love lack that sweet grace and forgets that % Still in mutual sufferance lies the secret of n-:m'f. Love which never knows the sweetness of forgiving, On the Pacific Coast the conditions continue better than across the mountains. We are troubled by no particular True, some lines report a perceptible diminution in the volume of trade, but as a rule we are doing very well. Money is abundant, interest rates are reasonable, building operations are still active, real estate is selling very well and at good prices, the demand for farm products is ex- cellent, the copious rains point to large crops for next year | and the situation all around abounds with promise. e —— Compulsory instruction in modern languages is to be one of the features of a military education in Germany. This urdoubtedly will give marked impetus to the development of those charming social relations which inevitably follow the course of a successful campaign and crown the glories of a nvilitary occupation of an enemy’s country. F dulge in it. The valorous, the stout of limb and strong in lung turn to it with the same passionate devotion that inspired of old the contestants in the Olympian games. Some bones are broken, many hopes are dashed, many hearts elated as the surging and tumultuous elevens battle between the goals. These are customary incidents. But however fiercely this game of men may have raged north of Tehachapi, when the “rooters,” looking on in criti- cal moments with bated breath, were in mood to forgive any sort of tactics to bring victory to Berkeley’s or to Stanford’s floating colors, the football players of the southland below Tehachapi would seem to have “gone the limit” in hard play- ing. Indeed so strenuously has football been carried on in Southern California that the newspapers in that part of the State are excited. The Los Angeles Times remarks concerning a recent con- test between the University of Southern California and the Sherman Institute elevens: “It has now come to such a pass that the public in going: to a game participated in by U. S. C. actually expects to see a slugging match, in which civilized football is made to give way before the barbaric tactics of biting, -gouging, tearing out of hair and deliberate striking. In yesterday’s game cer- tain of the U. S. C. players conducted themselves in a fash- ion that may be quite the thing among the Dyak head hunt- ters of the island of Borneo, but is quite out of place in a game which is supposed to be played by gentlemen and is often watched by ladies.” ' The Pomona Progress reads a similar lesson in ethics on the occasion: “If the University of Southern California is not going to stand in the eyes of the public for the cultiva- tion of brutality in young men instead of manly courage and honor it is high time for her to give some expression of dis- approval of the disgraceful tactics of her athletic association and exercise her authority to put a stop to such tactics in the future. For several years U. S. C.s tactics in athletics have been a subject of such bitter complaint on the part of her sister colleges that Pomona College finally not | B ETHICS OF FOOTBALL. OOTBALL is a rough game. Weaklings will not in- to stand it any longer, and with the full approval of her president and faculty gave public notice that no further ath- letic relations would be had with the University of Southern California until the latter puts athletics upon a higher plane | | | | of manhood and honor than she has in the past.”” Now what are the amenities of football south of Tehachapi? Do they include “biting, gouging, tearing out of hair and deliberate striking?” There is a seemingly great difference of opinion as to how the game should be conducted. Who will classify a code so that pleasant relations may be resumed in the southland and football be played to suit all who have bodies and limbs to risk on the field? e ——— Two pugilists were arrested the other day in Vancouver on charges of highway robbery. Whatever else may be said of this brace of brawny worthies they are to be complimented on the courage of their convictions, which impelled them to operate in a field for which their natures, antecedents and education best fitted them. They are to be praised for being more candid than their fellows, e — SOUTH AMERICAN PROBLEMS. RECENT report from South America quotes the A Buenos Ayres Herald as saying: “Cuba is nominally iree, but every man of common sense knows that it is but a question of time when that island will find its way into the United States, and it requires no prophet nor son of a prophet to see and foretell that Mexico and Central America wiil share the same fate. The southern boundary of the United States will be at least as far south as Panama and this will come about at no great distance of time. The true policy of the United States should be to confine its interest now and for the future to that limit. South America is no more within the logical sphere of influence of the United States than Europe. The United States has no more inter- est here than any other power, and it is not wanted here for the enforcement of the Monroe doctrine.” The quotation serves to help us understand the light in which we are viewed by some at least of those whom we look | upon as under our protection and care. It is by no means improbable, however, that the article was inspired either | directly or indirectly by a European interest. All reports | from Southern Brazil, Argentina and Chile are to the effect that those countries are being settled by European colonists, who bid fair eventually to crowd out the Latin races and take possession of every part of the continent that can be | profitably cultivated by white men. One authority estimates | that upward of 400,000 immigrants from Germany, Austria, | Hungary and Switzerland are already settled in what is called | “the empty continent.” Moreover Europeans are not the only colonists, for the Japanese are becoming numerous throughout Argentina, It is to be noted that the Latin Americans do not object to the immigration that is pouring into their country, for it is an immigration that brings money and helps to advancc' the general prosperity. Consequently a sentiment is in pro- | cess of formation that is distinctly hostile to the Monroe | doctrine and to American protection. The statement quoted from the Buenos Ayres Herald may be an expression of that sentiment and a forerunner of a steady drift of public opinion in Argentina in favor of European colonization and Euro- pean alliances. At any rate it is evident the people of those | couniries do not regard us with that affection and trust we believe to be our due, and the time may come when we will Live to enforce the Monroe doctrine against their protests and possibly against their open hostility p— One of our leading musical critics, evidently fearless, says the musicians of San Francisco are sadly lacking in har- mony. It is unfortunate that he did not use a better word and save us the interminable trouble of justifying our mu- sical artists in their acknowledged position of an ability to interpret the noblest harmonies ever conceived. Our critic, we hope, meant solidarity, not harmony. RAILROAD IMPROVEMENTS. ITH the approaching celebration of the comple- W tion of the Ogden-Lucin cut-off public attention will be drawn to the improvements which have been made in the Southern Pacific and Union Pacific rail- road system since it passed under the direction of President Harriman. The promise made by Mr. Harriman in his | speech at the banquet given him by the merchants of San Francisco shortly aiter he became president of the road will be readily recalled and the celebration of the accomplished work will serve to show how faithfully he is keeping to his programme of improvement announced at that time. It is estimated by experts that the completion of the cut- off will enable the railroad to reduce the time of travel on the Overland Limited from San Francisco to Chicago by fully seven hours. To furnish that advantage to the travel- ing public the company has expended, it is said, very nearly $5,000,000. That would be a notable improvement in our transportation system even if it stood alone, but it is but a part of the great scheme of improvement undertaken on all the lines controlled by the Harriman interests. In fact so much has been accomplished in the way of improving the roadbed and facilitating travel and traffic that the coming celebration might well be made the occasion of a general congratulation over work done over the whole wide extent of the Harriman lines. A recent statement of the expenditures for improvements of one kind or another on the various lines fixed the total amount for the three years ending on Juné 30 of this year at $104,348,369. The amount includes for betterments, $46,- " 413,587; for changes of lines, $14,532,237, and for equipments, $43,200,545. It is to be noted that while the figures cover the expenditures for all the lines controlled by the Harriman interests the proportionate expenditures for new equipment on the Southern Pacific are far greater than on any of the other lines. * In the face of such a showing there will be no desire to criticize the management and yet it is to be noted that the road has failed to keep pace with the growing demands of 'the industries and the commerce of the State. Perhaps no better evidence can be given of our abounding prosperity and of the rapidity with which we are advancing. John Alexander Dowie has issued a command to his simple-minded followers ‘to sell their belongings and place in his hands $2,000,000 for the advancement of Zion.’ It is to be hoped that the command will. be obeyed. One of the surest and quickest ways of curing idiocy is to remove its environment and the possession of money is inevitably the worst possible environment for idiots. When Dowie’s fol- lowers have nothing to give they will be powerless to as- sault common sense. PN A Italy and England have reached an agreement which dic- tates a policy congenial to both and, as far as any one else knows, is net inimical to the peace and prosperity of the rest of us. It is such compacts as this that will crowd The Hague with triumphs and honors of peace and make the world wonder why it has been that the admonition of good will has been so hard to understand. : S “Quarts” on Legal Rights. “Now, just off-hand like, you couldn’t tell for the minute which wuz the north end of a cow—am I right?” “Quartz” Billings leaned easily up against the stove railing and held up two fingers to the man behind the ma- hogany counter. “Well, sir, there wuz one man up in Nevada who jus’' natchully figured on which wuz the north end of a young heifer, an’ goes ahead an’ 'propriates it, much to the general upsettin’ of the law an’ order of Washoe County. This man wuz Watcheye Baker—bein' so since he had a watch eye like a coach dog. “He an’ old man Sticklitz lives on ‘joinin’ ranches, an’ there wuz not so much of the milk of human kindness circulatin’_ betwixt an’ between, ’'spe- clally since they went to court over the bound'ry of their lands, an’ after a long an’' wearisome adjudication the court <ompromises an’ sets up a line. Every- thing to the north of that line b'longs to Watcheye, and to the south to Stick- litz, accordin’. “Well, Watcheye gets pretty sore over the judgment an’ calklates to get it back at the Dutchman comin’ the first opportunity. Noy, Sticklitz had a prize heifer which he wuz nursin’ up to take to the State Fair, an’ he turned her out to pasture in the meader which lies next to Watcheye's land, there be- in’ only a rickety board fence between. But one day this prize heifer ups an’ gets onreasonable, like any woman, an’ figgers to get thru the fence into Watcheye's alfalfa. She gets half thru, an’ there she sticks. “Watcheye comes home frum down t' Heggerty's place with some spir- itus liquors concealed about his per- son an’ sees the heifer stuck half-way thru the fence. Then he figgers that the court has given him everything north of that bound'ry line, an’ he | goes an’ gets a ax an’ chops the north end of that heifer off clean with the fence. “An’ when the shootin’ comes he claims he shot only in defensg of his constitootional rights.” Outwitted the Chinese. Officer George Small of Corporal Dan Sylvester's Chinatown squad sat on a box in front of a workshop thinking out a scheme by which to catch Wong Fook's fantan game. He had resorted Ty ruse his mind could conceive , in the parlance of the street, was “up against it.” Finally a happy thought struck him. He knew some- thing of the heathen’s terror of things beyond their comprehension and pro- posed to coin their superstitions into | usefulness. A small window overlooked the fan- tan game and this aperture could be reached from the roof of an adjoining house. Small posted the other mem- bers of the scuad at the door with | sledgehammers, then carried a long pipe, painted in many colors, to the roof. The glass in the window was shattered as the long pipe crashed through it and came down over the gambling table. Into his end of the pipe Small inserted a large revolver and commenced firing. Flame and smoke belchgd out of the end of the impro- vised gun and the players started back in amazement and slunk into the cor- ners of the room. A few who tried to escape were nailed by the officers outside. Meanwhile the doors were be- ing battered down and the police held the upper hand. Whenever a venture- some Chinese would approach the table to secure the paraphernalia of the game and dump it down the sewer pipe before the policemen could break in Small would fire another volley and the Chinese would dart back again, leaving the stuff untouched. In this way the raid was made. The big gun had them “buffaloed,” and seventy-eight of them marched three abreast to the Hall of Justice. 4 The Mayor Was In. George Keane, the Mayor's seeretary, is a discreet and faithful sub-official, but there is such a thing as overdoing it. Saturday a newspaper man who has the entree to the Mayor's guarters en- tered the secretary’s room In search of news. “The Mayor is still out of town, George,” he suggested. referring to the industriously circulated report that his Honor had fled to the lofty pines for a “well earned rest” and to escape the importunities of office seekers. “Yes,” answered Mr. Keane gravely, “and 1 don't know when he'll be back.” At that instant the door of the May- or’s private office opened and his Honor stepped into the secretary’s room. And Mr. Keave calmly looked his newspaper friend in the eye and never turned a hair: What a Child Thinks. “T like to lie and wait to see My mother braid her hair; It is as long as it can be, And yet she doesn’t care. I love my mother’s hair. “And then the way her fingers go; They look so quick and white— In and out, and to and fro. .And braiding in the light. And it is always right. . “So then she winds it, shiny brown, Around her head into a crown, g Just like the day before; And then she looks, and pats it down, And looks a minute more, ‘While I stay here, all still and cool. Oh, isn't morning beautiful?” —J&!evh!no ‘Wheeler in Harper's Maga- zine. “Decorative Garbage.” The London Chronicle says that an able woman has just undertaken the protest, which peer and peasant must approve, against the nameless trash women are now wearing. The peer's wife wears a real diamond, and the peasant, where there is any Peasantry, ‘wears her ornament cf real gold. But other women, conspicuously those of London, wear tinsel, sham feathers, sham jewels, sham furs, odds and bobs of every kind that cost 30 cents and look it. Except for a remnant of po- liteness a man might be tempted tc call all such decorations garbage. it hag never been so abundant as this year What is said of Lendon women's sham finery does not apply to New York or Boston women; still it Is too evident e = that cheap imitations in jewelry prevail even among those who can afford bet- ter. In speaking of this fancy for wampum to a much decked woman she repl'ed that, as she was the owner of some fine genuine jewelry, she consid- ered herself justified in wearing the shams, and thereby saving herself all anxiety on account of the real things. But just the same “decorative garbage™ is good, and one can never see the poor little make-believes without thinking of the Chronicle man's expressive phrase. That Devil Morgan. An old Washington gentleman tells a story which he overheard President Lincoln repeat, and which he believes has not been published. During one of his busy reception hours, when the President was talking first to one, then to another of the many who filled the room in the White House, a gentleman asked if any news had been received from John Morgan, whose Confederate cavalry were raid- ing Kentucky and Ohio. “We'll catch John some of these days,” replied Lincoln. “I admire him, for he is a bold operator. He always goes after -1 mall trains in order to get Information from Washington. On his last raid he opened some mail bags and took possession of tL: official cor- respondence. “One letter was from the War De- partment to a lieutencnt in Grant's army; it contained a captain’'s com- mission for him. Rigk. under the signature of A. Lincoln the audacious Morgan wrote, ‘Approved, John Mor- gan,’ and sent the commission on its way. So there is one officer in our army whose commission bears my signature, with the approval of that daredevil rebel raider.” Worthy of Chauncey. ‘Walter Camp, the athletic adviser of Yale University, was recently enter- talning a gathering of undergraduate friends with experiences of his own, says the New York Tribune. He told of a dinner where a charming young wo- man was seated next to an exceedingly deaf old man. She had done her best to interest him, but had found it necessary to shout out each remark unto the third and fourth narration before the old man could catch the point. So the time dragged along till the dinner was waning and the fruit was passed. The young woman determined to make a final effort at being agreeable, so she threw her voice into saying: “Do you like bananas?" “How’s that 4 asked her neighbor in a surprised tone. “Do you like bananas?” she repeated. “Well, my dear,” he replied, “so long as you have introduced the topic, I will say that I much prefer the cld-fash- ioned nightshirt.” Stranger Than Fiction. The short story of the Alps once written by Frances Hodgson Burnett has found its duplicate in real life, according to the New York Tribune, which says: “An almost forgotten mystery of the Austrian Alps has at last been cleared up: Thirteen years ago a guide named Untensteinen disappeared from Gross- vendiger, and nothing was again heard of him until a few days since, when his body was found thickly sheathed in ice. He had evidently fallen into a erevasse, and the body, forming round itself an icy casing, had during thirteen years followed the movements of the glacier, being at last recovered at its lowest extremity, where it emerged to view. The feet bones alone protruded from the ice. Great difficulty was experi- enced in extricating the body.” Princes at Wholesale. According to the London Westmin- 'ster Gazette the Russian Government has appointed a heraldic commission to inquire into the origin of the titles of the numerous “princely” families of the Caucasian provinces. Princes are more pumerous there, it seems, than any- where else in the world, since the old Mingrelian monarchs used to ennoble their subjects on the smallest pretext. One peasant, for example, was accord- ed the style of Prince for picking up a scarf which the monarch had dropped in the mud, and another for acting as beater on the occasion of a royal shoot. The consequence is that Russia is full of Caucasian Princes who keep smail shops, while Gorki, who prides himself on his realism, has written a story of a Caucasian Prince who was also a tramp. No Link Missing. ’ California is certainly the land of the long lived. From the Modesty News is Jearned that at the golden wedding of aged Mr. and Mrs. T. E. B. Rice their seven children and sixteen grand children were all present to pay their respects to the aged couple. Not a death had occurred in the family for fif- ty vears. Every link in the chain was complete. ———— ‘Townsend's California glace fruits and 50c a pound, in artistic fire- present for Eastern 715 Market st.. above Call bldg. * —_—— Special information supplied daily to, business houses and public men by thal Press Clipping Bureau (Allen's), 230 Call~ fornia street. Telephone Main 1042 —— e —— The wise father will t !fl"'mi“" mmaummmfimom ve “a A