The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, June 7, 1903, Page 7

THE SUNDAY CALL. i/—-’ Y INCISS AON O : ° ’ "y, el ) and Only” visits Cornville. The “vaps/’ as Mr. Eady had called them, or if you ‘ prefer, the “backbone and intelligence of a great nation,” as the President had as- sured them he felt them to be, had passed a private resolution that for the time be- ing their line fences could be “goll darn- ed,” they were going to take a day off. The four celebrities were present to lend the charm of surprise to the day. off. Mr. Renn, who, on account of the “sweet lit- tle thing’” on the East Bide, had favored remaining at home and ‘“workin’ the stiffs,” was_playing his part behind the counter 'of a little booth to which he al- lured the backbone and intelligence of a great nation with cries of “Sixteen to one, gentlemen; sixteen gold plunks fof one—if you choose the right color. It's a mere charity 1'm offerin’ you, jus’ to ad- vertise the clown in tha show. Sixteen to one—beats Bryan hollow. Step up, gen- tlemen, an’ try your luck—sixteen to one!” The “‘sweet little thing’’ on Second ave- nue would never have recognized her be- seemed to congist in the a ve con- loved “Shorty” in the earnest exhorter mplation of ndar of local shows beseeching the crowd to “take a spin on g Peotie e N e atnn his wheel,” which was the wheel of for- : e e tune.. Thera was.a fervor in his ‘speech e United States and an intense look in his face, that, it is to be feared, the “sweet littls thing” had never been favored with. The under world makes love more or 'less as does the upper world; like the upper world, alse, it becomes really in earnest when it makes monev. “Dodd gast that squirt of a wheel, any- hew! Soy, you, behind there, when am I goin’ to win? You got five o' my dollars, an’ T ain't won onc’t.”" The words were deceiving and unnatur- al, but Mr. Eady’s voice was the same in ee mon extraordinary any ex- or of inconvenience to Yy were ambitious to afford s to the greatest number of he greatest number of places, est space of time possible of the day was uld congregate. At labor | ion with promises of success t d fifty-six of his experience p here in a week t we. Wel there are rur3 take in when they they aln't We've Vir- the They cigarette of a side- screw w their never They t NS oo BE “ GOLL PARPED) Jose & there's s . mewhere . days to sater STALt Ll Boatle” ves who did not conceive it possible the May- e ¢ unctions, An’ I'd llke to Ihe two men made mental notes upon or could at the moment have anything to wie there's another State where each other while these original courtesies say.that would be to the profit of his em- t the way you e in were beifg exchanged. ployers. “It is the wish of the gentle- ke liticians have got the e “I am the special officer, Mr. Hoch- men who are handling the little games an’ you know as well as | heimer the ‘Great and Only Comblna- of which I speak to testify their grati- an = they get their gMaft in guns and Menagerie,” which is to tude to your charming town for the hos- know how those yaps are this afternoon and evening, pitality it showed them the last time P bait like catfish: but look he time when the circuses b taken the liberty of presenting they were here.” - beging. W'y, they their rounds, an’ the thing for us to mentary tickets to your Chief of This certainly demonstrated a Christian earhy e rry Simpson and the is to jump over there, tie up with one nd am here now to offer some to spirit on the part of two at least of his 1 ga a jerk town in Georgia o' the shows an’ jus’ take its es. 1 should be very glad If you employers; the hospitality to which they ot Winbe e two wa ttin’ jt up was over there last season with Myers 1d make use of the half dozen in thiS had been treated on their last visit to et . osfr woke up an' Randall, an’ we only’had mak We shall feel honored If you Cornville +d consisted mainly in a rew t e of his dres e the Kid's one spring, an' that didn’t ‘cost OVEr can find the time to visit the entertain- and p. Jdy snug suit of tar and st was ke he went six hundre By August we had siX ments in versor feathers. 5 ke & e thousal ink: 1 money—banked ‘Very kind, sir: very kind. T judge <“They wish to distribute—a—$500 among ers hadr We can any better'n that anywhere, from the posters about town that you your private charities, and would regard - the yaps Lo SLNp e > a good sneak have a very attractive show.™ it as a great favor if you, Mr. Hoch- sure his an’ climber ak thief and burglar) ar “Yes; we offer the public a varied pro- heimer, who can apply the money with . spring him from the coppers Jump over there . gramme. 1 think | may say very varied, sy much more discretion than is at all - s goin’ 1o be a big push o' vis Do you know what fixers are travelin' gjr.* possible to us outsiders, would take . union, 100, an’ if any With the shows sked Mr. Eady It is strictly to be noted that this ex- charge of the funds.” ¥ hey'll beef, dead sure, There ain’t bee ny chang; I saw change of commonplace was not inepti- Here he produced a neat package, == we s Cincinnati Red day before yesterday an’ {yge; in the language of the prize ring, gwhich he laid on the desk before tie - . he sald the shows bad the same COPPErs. ji wags sparring for an opening. 5 abssract t P Some em had come up a littie in their The M - look of extreme abstraction. he Mayor. who was approached in this BT . s suckers that the guns Commission charges, but mOst Of 'em are onior on an averagé of twice a week, . The other little matter rélates only to » vd. an’ there'll have to be askin' 20 per cent, same as usual. Fifteen o "l reii)y aware that the citcus rep- the subject of police prataction: “1E 18 L36 pringin’ done. My advice ls— Der cent goes with some of 'em If you .l Uliiies business was not yet trans. Policy of the ‘Great Rk Quifytcag Ay o et motmin* better— Rin't on the dip am are jus~doin’ the sure o 1C0 ' NE L NN R i his chalr in an 1argely upon the lgcal police for protec: e through rattlers on thing act titude of expectation. tion, paying liberally, of course, for the e Central for the mext This conversation took place in the in- Mo Hochhelmer." the detective cen- SXira service they request. They find this scrutable lipless enunclation of the pro- fession. The night festival in the “Slide” was still at its height, and above all the policy mere—more satisfactory to every one. [ am about to speak to your Chief of Police on the subject, but thought it it sort o gs are panni qulet like till tinued at last, “besides being the special * out. Them officer of the circus company, 1 am also through rattiers are the business representative of s e of the Py : Cwentetice or ffty, am Sound of light laughter, of POppIng corks Liie o e connected with the oir. more courteous first to address you: par- - he change an’ raige nd shuffling feet the voicés of the three ., tleularly - as it seems much simpler to we, can pull off some Oarkies” proclaimed to the accompani- Jest so,” said the Mayor. make one arrangement for the protec- n't stuck on this MeNt of the three guitars that they had upyicqy” said the detective. tion of the grounds as a whole—the main and—well!=all the set up along with, show, the side-shows, little booths that are the main shows.” “Has the show taken out its license?” got a horseless carriage an' a footman, too, and vellow coachmen by the score; that they'd good-by to all the.coons, cause we ain’t poor no more. opinion that nion will at Whereupon both men looked a shade more thoughtful “Among the sideshow interests which I - > Seulslatitn aF .. represent are some amusing games, which s agreed with Mr. Burras ARy we are taking along with us this summer. Asked the Mayor, with the politeness of o yeunion was impracticable, but - Adolph Hochheimer, Mayor at this time e try 10 have novelties every year, you Man who can take in an idea without reasons which the others understood of the city of Cornville, was a politiclan ' 1, having his skull cracked to make room but dié M eeriously consider. favorea ©f the school whose first principle it is 10 . jest 50, said the Mayor. for it. el tow taking in saen 1t the people have whatever they Want, «They are harmless littie games ot “The license? Oh, yes, Mr. Mayor, the o funerals the season was provided always they want it badly chance, you know, at which the visitor license is all right.” need to be some big ©"°UEh to make a fuss about it. - of the show may take in twenty times his *I will consider the matters of which ek at this month.” he remark. _A® chief executive of the city of Corn- money, or may be fifty times,” sald the you speak with the Chiet of Police,” said veively, “an’ if we don't attend Y\1¢ he had succeeded an incumbent Who getective, Who labored to be accurate. the Mayor, with the grand air. The omebody else will; take my tip had been the candidate of a reform party. «we run the games, you knew, mere to Chief of Police was the commander of S Mayor Hochheimer was elected as the fifteen patrolmen and one wagon. was engaged to be draw a crowd before the circus than any- “regular” candidate, to the open rejoicing B~ sweet little thing on the thing else? it isn’t at all our notion to “It is a pleasure to meet a gentleman I ae. and. as his companions well ©f,2/most every one and to the concealed make money out 8f the game—except just who has had experience of affairs” sald fast S0 fiei competent 1o make ac. T&IOICINg of almost every one else. Every 1o pay expenses; they're, o to speak, a the polite middleman, rising to take his e suggestions. one found it possible to get his little bill kind of advertisement. We thought,” leave. "I was happy to see that you s fectionately termed “Ed- .ioP0ed” and the new executive, out of concluded the detective, with chiiditke were put.in office by a majority which Ohfo as in the “Slide.” He was a better - giut wite as well as by oot iy oio/as & man of bustness poll- - simplicity, “that W ought to exylain'{ils | promisés. & NergiRcton “tool” than “stall.” as the upper world - three pais, proposed & jaunt through the Dacrest ot 16 Til atialise i n with: Tt e vihie A “Hope your show will have every suc- knew to its sorrow, but ‘‘tools” have no “What is the nature of these games?” asked the Mayor, also with childlike gim- plicity. “Well, one is a variation of the old shell ‘game, that asa boy you doubtless your- self became acquainted with. Then we function in sure thing games, and he was doing his best to make the people “bite. | “Roll ‘er again. I'll chance another make or break; win or bust. The old woman'll dress me down, but shucks! hard words don’t lower the price o' eggs. cess,” sald the Mayor. have fair weather.” “To-day, at all events, day,” said the detectiv: “Very pleasant, sir, very pleasant; don’t know that 1 ever saw a pleasanter at jest at Btate and made good “Hope you will sson for the sclection of this locality ery convincing arguments and fl- perfect mastery made money out of poli- tics. On the morning that the ‘“Great and Only Combination Circus and Menagerie" was getting ready for the afternoon enter- is a pleasant eer emente on old > v State o the Union. She's 'alnment in the city of Cornville a gen- are experimenting with a little wheel and this séason of the year.”" The wheel began to slacken its pace for % up right an’ left, backward UMan in the full-jeweled regimentals of a pea that we have been led to beileve L o the sixth time; the little pea lingered ex- B Kaeways, an' crossways, @ SPOrt, but with the badge on his waist- might entertain the boys. The pea goes There was still an hour to while away asperatingly near the blanks: Mr. Renn N ts still, sayin', ‘Gimme CO&t which proclaimed him to be a pri- skipping- around, you know, and if ‘it before the afternoon entertainment in the made a slight movément with his: foot; more. honey: gimme some more.’ Vate detective, called at the Mayor's office stops at the right place the boy wins.” big tent of the “Great and Only Combi- the pea moved slowly toward the win- e e ihe phenomenons in the town hall and asked for an inter- Here there was a really impressive nation Circus and Menagerie” would be- ning colors. The wheel stopped. age. as Jimmy the Greek used to View with “His Honorable Mr. Hochhelm- pause. The Mayor's face had become of gin. The parade had taken place in the “Here’s your money, sir. See if it's er.” The interview was granted. “Good morning, Mr. Hochhelmer. This is a pleasant day.” “Very pleasant, sir;.very pleasant. Take a seat, sir. Don't know as 1 ever saw a plcasanter at jest this season of the he way Ohio has been ripped open ans an’ guns an’ keeps as chip- s & W'y, them railroad junctions s has been touched up for the last vears an’ they're as good as nds yet, ietter, by Jove! a portentous gravity; he .cleared his throat as if preparatory to the declara- tion of a moral principle. ““There -are two other matters in re- gard to which I need trespass upon your attention,” said the astute middleman, morning,.and the visitors to, the show were gathering on the grounds. Since early morning they had packed the high- ways that converge at Cornville as the spokes of a wheel converge at the hub. It is only once a year that the “Great right pefore you leave; ten fives an’, three tens. Make room for the rest. Sixteen to one, gentlemen—if you choose the right colors. . A mere charity 1'm offerin’ you. jus' to advertise the show. Step up, gen- tlemen; don’'t let the grass grow on your luck. Circus day comes but onces a y Don’t push there. Take your time. Tim« only thing cheapern circus lemonade. The big tent don’t open for a hour yet. Easy there, I tell you! You two fellows there in front, stop your,shovin'." Mr. Burras and Mr. Frood were leading the innocents to the slaughter. The inno- cents could hardly wait to be led; they Jostled Mr. Eady aside before he could count ‘his winnings, and fortune's wheel had made a number of turns by the time he broke through the surging mob and made his way to the rear to spur on those who still held back. It was “a hot time,” such as the four celebrities had prayed for. “The hoosier pinéth for eddication,” Mr. Eady sald, and the hoosier got it The three “stalls” had to turn policemen and keep the crowd back. it was so eager to learn by experience. Dollars, in silver and paper, were thrust into Mr. Renn's hands with a rapidity which at times came very near making him forget to halt the fortunate pea at the colors. Thers was grumbling among the losers, but fatuity is infinite and inex- haustible in the ranks behind the first, and people in the rear elbowed those in front of them aside in their haste to benefit the eloquent Renn. Sixteen in exchange for one, and ev man con- vinced beforehand of his natural and in- alienable luck! Cornville did not comse to its senses till a few ‘minutes befors the entertainment in the big tent began Then there were remarks more mili- tant than consoling. 'Mob ‘em!” cried one indignant citizen who had sowed dol- lars and reaped wisdom and scorned it. The life of & celebrity is hard. There were even numbers of the crowd who suggested tar and feathers. But they reckoned without the Péwers That Rule. “Clear the way, here,”” commanded the Chief of Police, at the head of an im- posing squad sworn in for the day. “No crowding.” The Chief received 10 per cent of the net proceds. “But, Chief, we've been done,” pro- tested a bucolic chorus. “Get out, you milkskins; go {n an' see the show!” and the Chlef whisked them aside. . “But, Shief!” screamed a little German, “I vant mein money back. I looss two dollar. Dose fellows is slickers. I vant to tell you.” “Choke it off, Dutchy; you're excited. Take a run around the ring with the baby elephant.” “Bel Gott, I vill do noddings of de kint. I go straight to de May: Vill some off you beeples go mit me The entertainment had begun, and the “beeples” were thers to see it, who had lost heavily, agreed to accom- pany the German to the Mayor's office. They were not influential or prominent, but the majority of them were voters, and the Mayor was amenable to reason when reason took the form of applied mathematics. “Do you mean to say that they are run- ning skin games—gambling—on the show grounds?”’ asked the initiated Mayor. “Bel Gott, dat's vat T tell you. Von man he tell me I git seventy dollar for two. Dot is a lie. Alzo I loose mein two dollar. Ven beeples loose money dat is gampling in Chermanny, in Amerika, bei Gott, eferywhere.” ‘“‘Gentlemen, you surprise me. I will see that those games are stopped immediate- ly. T am glad you called my attention to the matter. I have to thank you in the name of the city of Cornville. Good afternoon, gentlemen. It is upon such public spirited citizens as you that every official who is interested’in good govern- ment must depend!"” The afterncon entertainment of the “Great and Only” .was drawing to its close. The chariots were tearing around the big ring on the last lap! the specta- tors were getting ready to leave, and the performers for the *“concert” after the “show” were pecking through the cur- 7 e — tains of their dressing-rooms to ses how many had been persuaded to wait for them to do their “stunts.” The four celeb- rities and the gentlemen in the full- jeweled regimentals of a wport—the “spe- clal officer” of the “Great and Only"— were in solemn conclave just outside the main entrance. i “The Chief says the Mayor has ordered the games shut down,” sald the special officer. “Told me to tell you't he'd have to make a pinch if you give the whesl another turn. It's all off.” “But we ain't even got our fixin’ money back yet,” objected Mr, Burras “We'll be losers if we have to quit now.” He threw an accent of really moral (ndigna- tion into the word losers. “Losers in a pig’s eye!” exclaimed Mr. Frood. “If you'll stand for the dip"—and he gave the special officer a dig In the ribs with his thumb—"we’ll get our dough back ten times over. How much com- mission bave you got to haye?” “Seein’ how things is runnin’ I can’t risk it under 25 per cent.” “Will you square the hollers?” “If they don't holler too loudi” “Done!” It was the crowd that was “done.” Mr. Eady graclously consented to resume his old role of “tool,” and the other thres hummed the tune of the 'pickpocket's song Oh, we are th: talls, Thres jolly old stail s iive like royal ‘Turks; Wae're on dip to win pur chuek— To hell with the man that works! The band began to play, the flap of the malin entrance to the big tent was thrown open, the crowd rushed out,.and the four celebrities started “to do business.” So long as Cornville lasts and remin- iscences~ars permissible the-story of 'the business that the four did will be told and retold. It was a revenge which has become classic, even in blase gun cireles. As Mr, Frood graphically put'it, “Th crowd was simply ripped open.” Whe it had -dispersed and men went over the grounds to clean up for'the rush and departure of the evening, the “weeded leathers” fllled to overflowing & bushel basket. The Cornville public prints of the next day’s issue estimated that three thousand dollars changed hands during the short space of time that:the four weére active. There was “beefing” galore, but the “Great and Only™” folded its tent and stole away in the night, and the special officer squared no “hollers.” . .- The life in the “Slide” was at its height. The three *darkies” were strumming thelr guitars and vheiferating in chorus. The room was full of smoke, the patrolman of the “beat” was getting ‘his “eye- opener” at the back door, and the Sa vation Army lassie in full uniform was ostentatiously vending her tracts. The four celebrities sat at their favorits table drinking champagne. There had been toasts to Cornville, to Mayor Hochhelmer, to the “Great and Only,” and to the Crowd, and Mr. Frood rose to reply to “Ohio.” “The dear old State”—and he struck the Fourth July orator's attitude— “may she keep her junctions open, cher- ish her fixers, never go back on guns, an' breed a fresh crop o' sucke-s every year! Drink it down!” Chorus: “Drink it down!” And the three darkies struck into the chorus: Gét your money's worth, I've had ma gin an’ feel mighty glad; Get your money’'s worth. an' have & good time, but don't get bad: Get your money's worth, dance yourself elean Off the earth; Tt ve nt to Nave fun Bring your razor an’ your gum An' get your money's worth!