The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, April 6, 1902, Page 9

”' '{;" \ N Ou IDmsuing Invitations. Waat the Bride Ehould Wear. Feeper Dress for the Groom. Dwties of Maids and Ushers. The Ceremony at the Church. What to Do at the Reception. Abeut Sharing the Expense. VERYBODY soems to be very much interested In weddings. There i& never & time when that subject is not discussed with all absorbing interest. Of oourse, they are osicbrated at the home of the bride’s parents or at church. The reason for these two places is plain to be seen. Where else ocould such a ceremony prop- erly take pisce? Invitations, at the very latest, should be malled at least two weeks before the time arranged for the wedding. That gives one's friends an opportunity to pre- pare a little if they choose. Right here let me tell you of a little change that has been introduced lately. Evening weddings are not nearly as pop- slar nor as onable as formerly. The smart time is high noon. However, as that hour does not always suit the girls, Dame Fashion has decreed that any- where from midday to four in the after- noon is perfectly proper. Havem't you noticed that nearly all the weddings late- ly have taken place in the day time? Invitations, of course, are issued in the name of the bride’'s parents or guardian. They are a mere announcement engraved on & sheet of heavy cream paper. The most approved style is as follows: Mr. and Mrs. Walter Spencer Smith request the honor of your presence &t the merriage of their daughter, Mildred Jane, to Mr. Paul Clarence Boyce, on Friday, April the fifteenth, at twelve o'clock. 2 The Cathedral, Van Ness and O'Farrell Streets. Of course, separate cards are necessary when one 44 to be invited to the home afterward. As & rule, unless it is a very large affair, only one’s most intimate friends are Invited, as the majority of homes are not large enough to accommo- date a host of people. So in that event 10 one should feel hurt when an invitation to the church only is received. It is ‘pot a slight and was not intended as such unless hundreds of guests have been asked. It is no longer the proper thing to send out an invitation to the entire family. That looks as though one were trying to economize entirely too much. Don't ad- dress the envelopes to Mr. and Mrs. Jones and family. Each adult member of the femily, properly speaking, should have a separate invitation, In a city such as ours, public curiosity rune high over a smart affair and people try to wedge into the church whether they are acquainted with the participants or not. That only crowds one’s friends. In order to prevent that, cards of adm’s- slon are Inclosed: frequently. They are mere pleces of white card and bear the inscription: Please present this card at the Cathedral on Friday, April the fifteenth. And now we have come to the expense part of a wedding, and let me assure you that there are plenty of bills, Little things come up all the time that one would never dream of. If it is a church wedding the bride's parents provide carriages for the entire bridal party, excepting the groom and his best man. @nce in a while the coupes are provided for the ushers by the groom, but not always. Naturally, it is the girl's privilege to decide whether her wedding is to be a quiet Ilittle home affalr or whether there is to be much pomp and ceremony at the church. She also has the right to de- cide on the number of persons who shall form her cortege and she always selects her maid of honor. If she has a sister she is the chosen one. The bride-elect chooses the costumes the maids are to wear, and if her parents are able, pays for them. That, of course, in- cludes everything—gowns, hats and ship- pers. In case they are not particularly well off, the maids furnish them, but ic Is_frequently a straln, as they must all be gowned alike. The iridegroom attends to the clergy- man’s lee, provides a carriage from his lodging's to the church and sees that there 1s one for his bride to her parents’ home and again one to carry them away finally. He also selects his best man and provides for him. Ordinarily the ushers are friends of the young people. It the marriage is to be celebrated quietly and unostentatiously, ushers are not necessary, but ribbon-bearers take their place. Sometimes children are chosen and that makes the ceremony doubly expressive. As a rule, adults are preferred, as they can make themselves more useful afterward in entertaining. All church weddings are alike. The same old style has been used for a long time and is deviated only in the smallest things. Different arrangements of allow- ing the bride to pass her cortege are de- cided upon, but the main idea is faith- fully carried ont. # The ushers always head the processio They waik two by two and are followed immediately by the bridesmaids, two by two; then comes the maid of honor, who WA 7 N h N walks alone, and last of all the bride, ‘who is on the arm of her father or guar- dian. If she has nmeither, a brother answers the purpose, and once in a long time the mother walks with her, but that 18 so seldom that it really does not count. Once, t00, I remember where a girl's mother walked in the procession, but that is very rare. ! . The bridegroom and his best man enter together. They always come into the church by the vestry door so as to be in readiness when the bridal party arrives at the chancel rail. The party moves slowly and majestical- ly and they pay ahsolutely no attention to their surroundings. When they reach the rail the ushers divide, half of them moy- Ing to the left and the remaining half to the right. Naturally the bridesmaids do the same. Then is the bridgeroom in evidence. He slowly advances, the bride slips her hand from her father's arm, steps forward to ‘the groom, who takes her right hand and leads her into position before the altar. That ts the time to hold your breath. Things 1sok serigus. The situation of affairs is just this: The mald of honor is on the left of the bride, - the best man on the bridesmalds' right. They stand a little in the rear of the bridal couple and the father remains im- mediately behind the maid of honor or the bride, just as he prefers, until the moment of giving hér away. Then he steps forward and places her hand in that of the groom. As the father's duty is performed and as he would only be in the way It he stayed there longer, he steps down into the Pew where his wife is sitting and watches the rest of the ceremony with the other people. The best man has charge of the ring and produces it at the proper moment. If he is rattled there is very apt to be corfusion, and that makes things, to say the Teast, extremely awkward. The maid of honor is watching and steps orward to assist the bride in removing her glove in order that the ring may be slipped on with as little delay as possi- ble. The remainder of the ceremony Is comparatively short so the bridesmaid does not step back but she stays where she can ralse the bride's veil from her face. The procession from the church is simi- lar to the one going in, but, of course, the bride and groom are together. The maid. of honor and the best man follow and the ushers and bridesmalds fall in line. The girls used to leave the church quietly and without looking abant at all, but lately the bridal party glance around and it is not infrequent to see the bride smile at some friend who chances 1o catch her eye. A wedding of that kind impresses one as being happier than those where everybody flles out with & long face. The bride and groom generally stand in a.swell window or some niche and their friends erowd about them at the ve- ception. And here again the maid of hon- or and best man come in handy. They stand with the bride and groom and as- sist them in receiving their guests. The bridesmaids and ushers distribute them- selves about the room and make them- selves generally useful and entertaining. The young people are all Important that night. If there are any strangers to the bride, they are always introduced to her before her parents are considered. They are a secondary consid¥ration. I have never noticed that any needed to be shown the refreshjnent room. They * always seem to find their way there with ltile or no difficulty. I have heard that the ushers are supposed to take care of any stray ladles, but I have never no- ticed any that could not take care of themselves, and do it well, too. And now that the ceremony and recep- tion are over there is really only one thing more to consider. Every one knows full well what that is. The frocks, of course. ‘White is the proper color, and it is by far the prettiest and most appropriate one that could be chosen. We think it must be high in the neck and made with very long sieeves, but I have noticed im Paris that the neck is frequently bare and that a band answers full well for sleeves. If that is smart there it will be only a matter of time before it will be stylish here. It really does not make so much difference about the material, whether it is costly or not. It is the ef- fect that Is wanted. .As a rule a wedding gown answers its mission and Is laid away in a chest for the grandchildren. The vell is what should be considered. One made of tulle is much more becoming and infinitely less expensive than lace. It is fastened with almost anything. Often with the gift of the groom, which these days seems to run to dlamonds. Orange blossoms are sweet and symbolic and do quite as well, some peopls think better, but that is merely a matter of taste. The maid of honor and the bridesmaids wear frocks of light color and plcture hats. They often carry an armful of flowers and ropes of the same are twined and intertwined about the arm. Again, they carry parasols literally covered with blossoms. That Is very effective, and during the flower season not expemsive. The dress of the groom and best man is the regulation afternoon dress for gen- tlemen. Frock coat, striped trousers, ‘whitq waistcoat, white silk tle, patent ledther shoes and a silk hat. Excitement runs high when the bride cuts her cake. Every one hopes to find the ring in his or her plece, as that means another wedding In a short time. Just before the bride changes her gown, in fact on her way upstairs, she stops, turns around and throws. her bouquet blindly. If the same persen happens to get the flowers and the ring she might Just as well commence having her own wedding gown made, for two such signs never fail. . Then come the shower of rice, white ribbon and old slippers. Rice, you know, means prosperity and prosperity means happiness.- So the more they carry away ‘with them, the better it is, although as & rule a bridal couple fall to see it ex- actly that way. After the last rumble of the carriage has died away there Is nothing more to do but to tell the mother how happy her daughter appeared and to carry away a tiny box of wedding cake to dream om, to steal, If possible, a march on Father Time and see who your own life partner is going to e, thaf is, If you haven't cae already.