The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, March 30, 1902, Page 6

The | The Second of a Series of Plan Sermons to Plain Folks on ‘“Home Life and Its Infiu- ences.” a what part father is to bear in s me life w all they g ome and = g [ parents ade will ome the er responsibility resting which r upon able omen wh lightly the r conditi with th vows they their atil - the mill relieves them. The of divorce la this e tc ctive e that place home s the piano has & It is the husbe ce an .‘ bene- exhortation in th. that And, children to e not your 2 & happy horme. Much of the dam- e t home life comes through the 1 father, if ke is not i el wife and mother. We need C the mode! ke her to is to be ne, where their love Whatever else a man mav be, if he is not good. true. brave, sober. man- he is not fit nor worthy to take a his own The duty of the husband is to show affection toward his wife and chil- dren. Where this be genuinely “Husbands. should affection exists it will manifested. love vour wives.” € think of m sely love his ow. They mar ule such marria things), or not Plenty men do. conve genu Ik (as a 1 ient for their Some Such find The sum of the hush: love, and this will regul duties. The obligation of affection is not all on the side of the wife. Byron is right, 1 believe, when he'says: “Man’s Jove i of man’s life a thing apart, 'Tis woman's whole existence.” It may be that man cannot show such affection as woman. but every husband bound* to highly esteem his wife. The husband expects as a matter of course that his wife be a perpetnal sunbeam in the home. That is right, but the wife has the same right to expect of her husband better things than a thunder cloud of 1l nature and boorish- ness or a hallstorm of fault-finding. If the family circle is to become a tranguil and cherished haven of rest, the husband must not simply assume that his affection is recogn: as a mat- ter of course, but he must manifest his love in some visible form in the home. Every husband likes a cheerful at-' mosphere in his home life, but many do almost nothing toward creating such an atmosphere—they leave that solely to their wives, some of whom have a big contract on their hands. Imagine such & wife trying to maintain a calm and charmingly sweet demeanor while her husband is sullen and fault finding. “The husband and wife are each the complement of the other.” says the Leader, “and it is as mucn his duty to be cheerful as it is hers to be patient; his ri to bring joy into the door as it is her right to sweep and garnish the pleas- ant interior.” A sunshiny husband makes a beau- tiful home. a cheerful wife and glad d’s dutv is ate all other children. His daily walk makes the home life a festival and crowns the home with heavenly benediction. Much depends upen getting a cheer- ful stert in the morning. The man who leaves his home with a scowl on his brow, a snep at his children and a bark at his wife, instead of a kiss, will be mighty poor company for any one during the day, and it is more than lkely that he will return home with a temper of a porcupine. There is nothing a man needs more than a happy home. His nature and safety demand it. Yet the claims of home and household are mot felt by busi- ness men as they should be. Dr. Cuyler says: “Many of them INDAY CAL. ' e e e ———————————————————————————————————————— o pand and Tather inthe BY REV. FRANK o SO A S live fi. an atmosn! of excitement and bake their da ad in a pretty hot oven. : cooling down which a quiet can give; and there is the place to spend not oniy time, but a good portion of honest gains. To man of busiress I would say, ‘Make ¥ home attractive in every way pessible.” " Here at a warm. cheerful fireside is where a man should nd as many of his evenings as possible. It would certainly be looked upon by many a good wife as & genuine manifestation of affection on the part of her husband should he some night sacri- fice his preclous self by staying home with her in place of going to the club. A*wife would be heartless indeed to be unaffected by such a gentle evi-. dence of a devoted and manly love. If a man would have a good and hap- py home he must help to make it. A man must set himself resolutely against any- thing which is an enemy to a pure and happy home. What an enemy to the home is the clubhouse! It is a very popular yet a very dangerous institution. Men are sub- stituting these clubhouses for thelr homes when their day's work is done, Think of husbands and fathers for- saking their homes, leaving wife and children, for the associations of a club- house—making them their constant even- ing resort until late hours of the night. Here wine, cigars, cards, etc., are as a rule the most prominent attractions. It isn't so bad for those unfortunates who have no home or household, but for & man of family it is & shame and inex- cusable. Every man’s home demands his own loving atjention and interest. No amount of money or luxuriant furniture cax sub- stitute for th ‘When the father is un. necessarily absent from the home the electric current of the family circle is broken. Where ghould a father desire more to be than at his own fireside? By his showing that he had rather be there than anywhere else in the world he does more toward the good cheer and happiness of his home and more toward binding and making inviolate the family tie than in any other way. In speaking of these clubhonses one says that they are the rival and often the fatal antagonist of a man’s “Every sensible wife hates the have & right to their father's sympathetic very name of ‘clud’ and is _ rival with e righteous jealousy, has a right as a true, loving wife to husband’s evening hours, and the children attentions: the evening of their home.” Many a pure-hearted and noble-minded wife has had the very Hfe crushed out of if the club robs them, it is her through the cruel treatment of the man who tpok her from her father’s home and promised to make another home for her, who instead now leaves her to her- self\during the evening while he smokes and ‘drinks and plays cards like a gen- tleman (?) at the clubroom. How mag- nanimous is such a fellow! He needs a club of another king, it will do him more good. How inconsiderate and indifferent now to what he used to be to the comfort and good cheer of her whom he now calls wife. Such a fellow is undermining the foundation of his own best good; he Is destroying the life of his wife, he is blasting-the hopes of his children and aid- ing In shattering the home institution which is the guarantee of all that is goqd in the nation. The wife and mother in such a home has frequently startled the community by taking her life and the life of her children. She could no longer bear Home MCHILDREMN “YI1ll MNOT HOMNOR THEY TATHEES YWHO By HIS OYwWrIi L1FE- CONTE.ADICTS HIS PRECEPTSY the burden of cruel indifference of her husband. Many & man offers as his fitmsy excuse for his preference of the clubroom and society of others outside his home, the fact that he was so terribly deceived in his marriage, the woman he took for wife being so uncongenial. He argues that there was no real marriage because of their great Incompatibility. He says he played the fool when he got married and now he must make the best of it. Talk about playing the fool. I wonder if the unfortunate wife of such a pigmy of a fellow didn't play the big- ger fool of the two. Talk abont being decelved! Who was mors de- ceived than the wife of such an apology for a man? There was a time when the same man thought and believed that the sun rose and set in that same woman. He felt she was all the world to him. But now he does not see in her the beauty and light given the farthest star and his world is now in the clubroom and in the soclety of others. He goes about to make the best of ihe situation, so he thinks. He goes off into dreamland and there passes before his vision other women younger than his wife and more fair and who are more congenial. He begins to encourage a desire for their company and the divorce nmill does the balance. The loose manner in which the domestic relations are treated is an abomination in the sight of God. The fact that in twenty years, from 1867 to 1888, there wers granted in the United Btates 328,716 di- vorces is sufficlent evidencel of the great danger threatening our social fabric. Dean Stanley brought back with him a native of Africa who was being educated in this country. I had the privilege of hearing him lecture on his native land. He had been in this country long enough , fireside happiness was married and ran after other women, off went his head. The lecturer then in- terjected these words, “If you had that kind of law jin this country how fast you fellows’ heads would go off.” Uniform legislation which would make it difficult to secure a legal separation is very much needed to curb the evil pro- pensities of the kind of a man I have in mind. Another way of lessening this terrible evil is greater prudence at the marriage threshold. When a true man dges abide in his home he isn’t mean and little enough to be always taking advantage of the Scrip- ture reference to the wife's obedience and subjection to her husband. Why Is it that some men are so little that they must keep harping on man’s superiority over the woman. Such a man Is ignorant of the true import of God's words. He is a coward and unworthy the name of a man. Such a man looks upon his wife as his inferior, and such a spirit is repulsive to a noble woman. I can’t undérstand God's word that way, but In this way: “A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband,” and “the heart of her husband doth safely trust in her,” “Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land,” “Her chil- dren arise up and call her, blessed. We hear so much about two shall become one by the marriage tie. buf the great question with many mar ried couples is, Which shall be the And most of the time is consumed was when your feet were on the fender. During his late yeafs one of his friends coming in found him in a dejected state of mind and asked “What is the matter, my friend?" Mr. Holmes looked up with a look of sorrow and sald: “Don’t you see? There are only two feet on the fender now.” The sa- credness and happiness of the marriage relation is here so touchingly expressed. ‘What pathos of the aftertime when hus- band or wife is left alone, the one having gone away to return no more to his, or her, earthly home. The thought may well startle us, How much may be unheed- ingly done by ourselves to destroy our home joy. How easy for one to con- fure up his dislikes and keep adding fuel to his prefudices and animosities until his home becomes unbearable. “I have somewhere read.” savs Rev. Mr. Wise, in his “Bridal Greetings,” “of a bridegrcom who gloried in his eccentricities. He requested the bride to accompany him to the garden a day or two' after their wedding. He drew a line over the roof of their cottage. Giving his wife one end of it, he retreated to the other side and exclaimed ‘Pull the line!" She pulled at his request as far as she could. Ha, cried ‘Pull it over!' “I can't,’ she replied. ‘But pull with all your might! shouted the whimsical husband. “But in vain were all tiie efforts of the bride to pull over the line so long as her husband held the opposite end. But when he came around and they pulled at the same end, it came over with great ease. * “There,’ said he, as the line fell from the roof, ‘you see how hard and ineffec- tual was our labor when we pulled in op- position to one another, but how easy and pleasant it was when we both pulled together. It will be so with us thrcugh Nfer There is sound philosophy in this erude illustration, for .without mutual bearing and forbearing on the part of husband and wife a happy home Is out of the question. i Everv husband should real: one alone cannot make !:mmehlgsw"]\:‘yt There needs to be unison of action, sweet. ness of spirit and great forbearance and love in both husband and wife to secure the great end of happiness in the domes. tic circle. Home is no unmixed paradise sweets; the elements of peace and '.n:: happiness are there, and so, tod, are the elements of discord and misery; and 1t needs only the bitter spirit of the world without to make it a pandemonium, or the loving genfus of harmony make It the prompter of affect! mpulse. Pure domestic love is ur her own, is not ea all things, endureth things. A husband with the elfls rit of sweet un- selfishness and of sel nunciation for others will make “ome a gracious bene- diction. The story is told of an o itinerant preach » preached in a rural place on taking up home he with his wife Inquiring as t was informe our eros: of the Now if a man to himself binding such r ntull two hermit mc in closest friendshi thought 'of envy or mind of eithe At them to. try the experiment of a quarrel after the common fashion of the world. “How can we quarre asked one. “Oh,” sald the other, “we and put it between us can ck take this b each can claim it. Then we'll quarrel over it.” And that plan was agreed on. s bsick Is mine,” sald the one; “I hope it is mine,” sald the other gz y. “Well, If It is yours, take it,” said t never hear his cc for anything get it for through the unselfi Persistent. devoted. bearing. all-conquering love will drive out all the littie vivers of con- jugal quarrels that creep into the home nest and destroy domestic hap- piness. It is said that Philip Henry and his wife adopted a ruie that only one of them would get angry at the same time. Another adopted the rule of allowing fifteen minutes to pass before replying to an irritating sentence. Not only will a true husband’s affection be genuinely manifested by a deveted and manly love, but it will be free from barshness. “And be not bitter agalnst them." Love may be marred by a disagreeable unselfish, for- temper. It sible for a man to be un- generous ruel in his home, because those among whom he associates in the world stir up his anger. A man is a cow- who does it. But the character s Dickens portrays under the name r. Quilp in “The Old Curlosity Shop” is not altogether a fictitious one, for there are many Mr. Quilps now living. What a savage and fiendish brute for a husband was that Mr. Quilp, with his cold, repuisive silence one minute and his stinging words of sharp and angry re- proof the next. It makes one creep (o think of hi ating actions and willful and tantalizing conduct. He studied now to mflict the keenest torture on the loving and submissive Mrs. Quilp. acter is repulsive. And yet how many ands show the same tender and ¢ for their S1 a4 men are very care cultivating a 1ax but with m: that ¢ es with their wedding £ Everv true wife needs. craves and genuinely appreciates tion of her husband. band’s unkindness, 2 dIv SorTow ths blood.” She can adversitv or_at but her husban for he affec- “a hus- one has said. “is drinks her heart s T sociaf neglect, “uSt any otaer thing negiect. Her i wounds are thos that ought to ciasp verest and mos inflicted by the her own itly related to us a ch came under his own ob- He was counting the flz a very sick woman man sob in his voice said eoul live witho: The woman_ ope h her. withered Joe? Then sigh she fel} beginning of Now, it is not necessary to wear one’'s heart on th neither is it neces. sary to pr reserve and withhold from our very own the tendermess which we feel for them with every heart-throb. To do so is wrong, and robs both our dear ones and ourselves of a happiness which should be realized now. Soon separation will come and then the kind words which ,should have been spoken will all be put\on the cold tomb- stone. But a kind word lasts longer and speaks louder than u marble slab. To make a real happv home husband and father must not omlvy be true. brave, generous. manly. he must be a man of pure. blamele life, whose name is an honor an vride in the home. No man who has not given himself to the good Lord and is obediently follow- ing in his footsteps can do his full duty toward maging an ideal home. Has a father any right befors God the world to expect or require of his wife or children more in the way of righteous living than he himself practices? This applies to a man’s entire life. No man who comes home drunk, ever rarely, is doing his share in making happiness for his wife and family. must be a sober man. Mrs. Marie Hilton, founder of tffe Creche in England, after twenty-twe years’ experience in work for the chil: dren of the poor, says that drink is the prime factor in destroying even the sem- blance of comfort in their homes. Children will not honor the-father who by his own Ii tradicts his precepts. A godly life will count with the children. The father 1s a looking-glass by which the child often dresseth himseif. We need re Christian husband; In many homes while the wife an mother lives in God's suniight In the up- per story of a good conscience, her hus- band is wholly a man of the world, live ing In the basement of sin and selfish- ness. How can_ there be a perfect union of hearts and \ives under such circum- stance: The wife finds it hard to walk alone in the heavenly way. While she would guide the feet of the children in the heavenly way, her husband’s life influences the other way. There is many a husband who seems pleased to know that his wifs is a Christian, and yet he keeps himself aloof from the church. How much more blessed and easier when husband and Wife journey together in the heavenly way. But there are so many men who are going through life on their wife’s plety, and they are counting on getting to heaven on that score, but they will be scored out. Many men are too busy to S better than a pio we bave it without a o little child S home? How ¢ tather? playing “hide them went to put it under cushion of a large chair, Wwhen the other said, “Please don't hide it there; that's father’s kneeling-place.” That father had so ordered his life be- fore his household that there were ten- der and holy memories assocfated in the minds of his children with various spots about the old homestead. Let vhe husband lead the wav in set- ting up a family altar in the home around Wwhich all may gather, reading of Sod's word, prayer to Ged and praise and thanksgiving for his merciful goodness. Let the spirit of thanksgiving to God be shown as the family gathers about the festive board. Every father should be the priest unto God in his own home. “To Adam,” says Dr. H. Ware, “Para- dise, was home. To the good among his descéndants, home is Paradise.” Thers 18 a great need of godliness on the part of many a husband and father th hat he may be able to do his full share in mak- ing home a paradise. If he will unite with his wife in _enthroning the spirit of the divine Master in their hearts and over their household, and in barring out the enemies that threaten the peace and pur- ity of the home, then will their home life 48 fragrant as a rose, as sweet as a song, as holy as a sacrament and possess all that is embodied in the world “‘para~ dise.” His own house will be a church, his fireside an altar, and his home will be but & prelude to the great family circle Tedeemed in heaven.